Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
473
Teen Gets Berated For Asking To Exclude ‘Traumatized’ Adoptive Siblings From His B-Day Celebration
The thing is that we humans are social creatures and everyone needs someone. Knowing that there indeed is a person out there who cares for us is enough to see us through in tough times. It can be anyone from your parents to your friends or your partners because riding solo can definitely be difficult, especially when you are a teen.
So Reddit user wildlayabout was feeling really neglected when his parents gave all their attention to their adopted kids. When he literally begged for their attention, they berated him and even threatened him with therapy!
More info: Reddit
You May Also Like:
Having parents that care about you and give you all their attention can be really helpful in life, but not everyone is lucky to have it
Image credits: Vitolda Klein / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster’s very rarely included in family therapy for his adopted siblings, where he’s told not to show off, and he feels jealous that his parents favor his adopted siblings over him
Image credits: wildlayabout
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
As they’re barely present on his important days, he requested that he wanted a birthday dinner with just the parents and not the siblings
Image credits: wildlayabout
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
They were angered by this and threatened him with therapy, so he tried to speak about his achievement but they said he was ‘bragging’ when his siblings were traumatized
Image credits: wildlayabout
One of his sisters said that they should have a family outing that focused on him, but the other one said that he just wanted to “feel special”; in truth, he wants someone to care for him
Today, we dive into the life of the original poster (OP), who’s a 15-year-old living with his parents and three adopted siblings. As the kids were adopted during their pre-teen ages, they had to go to adoption therapy and family therapy with the parents. During these sessions, the poster has rarely been included, and even when he was, it was to tell him to be less of a “show off”.
Well, no wonder he feels jealous of his adopted siblings, because his parents have been mostly absent for the major occasions in his life. At times, they even demanded that the poster give them space with the other children so that their bonding activities were not disrupted. Ouch, that does sound quite hurtful.
So, it’s natural that he felt left out and asked his parents for some alone time just with them on his birthday dinner. Things just escalated after that as they were not pleased to hear that they favored the other kids over him. In fact, they even threatened him with therapy. After a few minutes of silence, OP broke it and spoke about his achievement.
Guess what? They said that it was not the time to brag as his siblings were traumatized and they needed more attention. They even accused him of not considering them his “real” siblings. Well, that must have further broken OP. But after dinner, one of his sisters suggested that they go out as a family but pay more attention to him, and the poster was thrilled about it.
But it didn’t last long as the other sister pulled him aside and claimed he just wanted to “feel special”. That was probably the breaking point for him as he felt like running away. All he wants is for someone to genuinely care for him. Well, when he vented on Reddit, folks showered him with a ton of empathy and love.
Image credits: Askar Abayev / Pexels (not the actual photo)
They were quite outraged with the couple and expressed that he has every right to have emotional needs from his parents. Just because the adopted siblings need more attention does not mean that they shouldn’t agree to spend one birthday dinner just with him. It is completely their fault for neglecting the emotional needs of the teen.
PsychCentral states that growing up in an emotionally neglectful family, with your feelings ignored or discounted, has profound effects on how you feel as an adult, the choices you make, and your perceptions of yourself. It also stays with you for your entire life, hanging over your relationships, and holding them back from developing the depth and resilience you deserve.
Research suggests that approximately 5 million Americans are adoptees, and a study has observed that these adoptees are likely to suffer through emotions like grief, guilt, loss, and shame. So it is quite admirable that the parents have been taking care of the mental health of the adopted kids, as many folks pointed out.
However, they also said that in the process, the parents have been completely ignorant that the other teen also needs the same attention from them. Research also states that disfavored children can experience bad outcomes like depression, greater aggressiveness, lower self-esteem, and poor academic performance.
People also commented that despite suffering so much because of the parents favoring the other kids, the poster does not at all seem bitter. In fact, they applauded him for the way he has handled the situation. It was clearly evident that the whole situation is breaking his heart, yet he spoke about his siblings with compassion, and all he wants is for someone to care for him.
What would you do if you were in his shoes? Let us know in the comments.
Redditors empathized with the poster and didn’t hesitate to call out the parents who have been ignoring his emotional needs
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What's your take on the user's feeling of being neglected compared to his adopted siblings?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
I'm an adopted child myself and I feel terrible for OP. My situation was the opposite - I was adopted JUST to be a sibling for my parents' bio child (my mom did not want her to be an only child) and while my adoptive dad was fantastic and truly loved me, my adoptive mother clearly favored her bio child over me, to the point where my mom abused me in every way you can abuse a person, but her bio daughter never even got spanked. I understand that the adopted kids in OP's situation may have come from a terrible situation and may have been traumatized/abused, so yes, did they probably need extra therapy and love/care at first? Absolutely. However, OP should not have been NEGLECTED by his parents just because the adopted sibs needed extra care. Make time for ALL your kids, because they ALL are YOUR KIDS. It's great to adopt, and wonderful to adopt older kids (I was adopted at birth, but I know how hard it is for older kids to find homes), but you CANNOT neglect other children in the home.
Alexa Saltz 3 months ago
You already know how this is going to go. Asking for your parents to spend 2 on 1 time for your birthday is a reasonable request. Not at all selfish. I am the matriarch (ugh, makes me sound ancient) of a 3 generation household with many school aged children. Once a month, one child gets to be the only one doing something or going somewhere. We do this so they can be the center of attention and we adults get to know and spend time without others getting in the way. Could be me, Grandma, and Grandpa taking the kid to McDonald's then the zoo. Could be Mom and Dad staying home to help build the Boy Scout wooden race car and ordering pizza. Anyway, you got it rough. Just do you and get out first chance. You are important, your achievements deserve recognition, andyour successes should be celebrated. You will find your way. Be well ...
Bec 3 months ago
It is a totally reasonable request for OP to have some individual time with their parents. My cousin has 2 kids, just a few years between them. The older child had a life altering medical emergency that required a long hospital stay; they made sure to make time for the younger child, and still have at least one parent at his major events.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 months ago
I'm an adopted child myself and I feel terrible for OP. My situation was the opposite - I was adopted JUST to be a sibling for my parents' bio child (my mom did not want her to be an only child) and while my adoptive dad was fantastic and truly loved me, my adoptive mother clearly favored her bio child over me, to the point where my mom abused me in every way you can abuse a person, but her bio daughter never even got spanked. I understand that the adopted kids in OP's situation may have come from a terrible situation and may have been traumatized/abused, so yes, did they probably need extra therapy and love/care at first? Absolutely. However, OP should not have been NEGLECTED by his parents just because the adopted sibs needed extra care. Make time for ALL your kids, because they ALL are YOUR KIDS. It's great to adopt, and wonderful to adopt older kids (I was adopted at birth, but I know how hard it is for older kids to find homes), but you CANNOT neglect other children in the home.
Alexa Saltz 3 months ago
You already know how this is going to go. Asking for your parents to spend 2 on 1 time for your birthday is a reasonable request. Not at all selfish. I am the matriarch (ugh, makes me sound ancient) of a 3 generation household with many school aged children. Once a month, one child gets to be the only one doing something or going somewhere. We do this so they can be the center of attention and we adults get to know and spend time without others getting in the way. Could be me, Grandma, and Grandpa taking the kid to McDonald's then the zoo. Could be Mom and Dad staying home to help build the Boy Scout wooden race car and ordering pizza. Anyway, you got it rough. Just do you and get out first chance. You are important, your achievements deserve recognition, andyour successes should be celebrated. You will find your way. Be well ...
Bec 3 months ago
It is a totally reasonable request for OP to have some individual time with their parents. My cousin has 2 kids, just a few years between them. The older child had a life altering medical emergency that required a long hospital stay; they made sure to make time for the younger child, and still have at least one parent at his major events.
Related on Bored Panda
43
53