Bored Panda got in touch with child psychologist Chelsea Caitlin to learn more about some forms of parenting and she was kind enough to answer some questions. First and foremost, we wanted to learn more about how to manage your kid’s desires in the 21st century. 

“It can be difficult as a parent to find a balance between setting boundaries and providing children what they want at times. Every parent will be different on what they feel comfortable with, in terms of more relaxed boundaries or not. Permissive parenting can sometimes lead to challenging behaviors. Parents may worry about what happens then.”

These days, one will run into parents who just give their kids anything they want, so we were curious to hear what this might cause. “Each child is different in how they respond, here are some examples of what may happen or skills that don't develop the same: Decrease in emotional regulation skills, difficulties engaging with peers, struggle with patience or delayed gratification, feelings of entitlement and they may have difficulties with failure,” she shared with Bored Panda. 

Nowhere is this more visible than the abundance of devices some parents get their kids. “We aren't for or against screen time. Often the reality is that screens are a part of life and we want to teach our children healthy boundaries of utilizing screens. We want parents to reflect on why and how they are using screens and what that can look like for their child. Some questions to ask yourself.” 

She suggested that parents ask themselves a few questions when thinking about screen time. “It is important to look at how your child responds to the TV. Are you noticing an increase in behavior? Are you seeing them struggle to step away from the TV? What is happening to them? What is the TV time taking away from? Are they having social interactions? Are they limited in their exercise and ability to play?”

“Do they have the ability to self-regulate and self-monitor? It can be very challenging for adults to step away from the TV so what does that look like for your child? What are some of the reasons why certain parents choose to raise their children this way?” If a parent struggles with these questions, they should perhaps seek the help of a specialist. 

“There are a variety of reasons why some parents may choose or be permissive parents. A lack of support, maybe it is how they want to parent. Perhaps they aren't aware of parenting styles or other approaches to parenting or that's how they were parented. They were parented the opposite and had negative feelings towards how they were parented. There could be guilt or feeling as though they need to compensate. It is important to find what you value as a parent and what skills, beliefs, and values you want to pass on to your children.”

“Moderation is key. Trying to find balance can be a helpful thing. Research! Educate yourself on different parenting approaches and styles and decide what is going to work best for you and your family.” You can find more of Chelsea Caitlin’s work on her website, on her Instagram page, and in her new book.