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Raising tiny humans is hard, there’s no doubt about it. My utmost respect goes to the loving parents and dedicated educators out there who are helping to mold a brighter, better future for us all.

But putting all the accolades aside, parenting in itself is one hell of a strategic set of moves where small steps go a long way. And there are so many tactics from ‘how to’ and ‘what not to do’ when raising kids that they inevitably stir some debate. I mean, some parenting trends are really controversial—just think of family TikTok accounts. Some say it's an awesome way to communicate and spread the message, others think it may promote negative experiences often tied with social media.

So who’s right? We may not exactly know, but we can find out what common parenting trends people see as nonsense. “What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?” asked a Redditor called Qquackie and the answers started pouring in. Below are some of the most interesting ones!

It seems like there are as many parenting tactics as there are parents. This year, we see new trends emerging, from mindful usage of the internet to parents getting support from online groups, and gender-neutral parenting. The last trend is especially liked for millennial parents who are no longer willing to fit their children in society's predefined boxes but want to allow them to experiment, experience and express themselves.

Other new trends include “baby budgeting,” with parents of newborns getting a whole more money-savvy. Baby budget calculators and charity shops are on the rise as parents seem to have finally realized you don’t need to spend a fortune on shoes every other month as your child is growing.

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#2

Letting your kids run amok everywhere and then being furious when other people are annoyed. I'm an older mom. I was raised with the idea that you have a social contract with others to not be a pain in the a**. I don't let my kids go nuts in public. When they are having a hard time, we leave. I don't expect them to be angels for hours in adult situations, but being told to not be loud and crazy at the grocery or in line somewhere is not child abuse. Letting your kids be a hellion that everyone else cringes to see is so unfair to your kids.

beckybrothers Report

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Lou Cam
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So agree with this. So many parents let their kids scream and throw things in stores or public places and hold to their "let them scream it out" philosophy. No, the kid has had enough of being in that situation, you take them outside. I also have an ASD and ADHD child so yes it is possible to remove them from a situation they are not enjoying whilst also being mindful to people around you also. I've had to pack up and leave so many situations for this reason, restaurants, shops, public transport (and walk a couple of miles in the rain instead). It is possible and you learn what the tolerances of your kids are, noisy bright places were generally no go areas for me.

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#3

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places

StarrCreationsLLC , Emily Wade Report

#4

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With not educating your kids about sex because it's an "uncomfortable topic"

jxrha , Annie Spratt Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's better teaching them properly than them learning about it in the school yard from other kids. I sat down with my daughter when she was 8-9 and watched "What is happening to me" and "Where did I come from". They are cartoon style but informative and then afterwards we had a chat about what she saw and if she had any questions. I also made sure she knows she can come to me and ask me anything and I will answer the best I can. I believe it is important to have open lines of communication.

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According to Parent Circle, a new parenting trend that emerged during the pandemic has to do with dads. Turns out they too had an opportunity to rethink work-life balance, made better use of the situation and established a new approach to parenting. The extra family time was not just rewarding but also an eye-opener for the men regarding the responsibility of childcare and household work. Prior to the pandemic, mothers were taking on the biggest share of those responsibilities.

A study run by the scholars of the University of Utah, Ball State University and the University of Texas showed that the number of couples who split childcare duties rose to 56% during the pandemic in the US. The percentage was only 45% before the pandemic hit.

#5

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With All of the "wine mom" merch, down to shirts for children that say horrible things like: "I'm the reason Mommy drinks"

Like, dress it up as much as you want, but "alchololism" isn't cute, as much as you want to convince yourself of it. Let alone, clothing for your CHILD who didn't ask to be born, to be treated like their existence is a burden to you. I've seen stuff like this in the kids section, from infancy to middle school sizes.

That's a trauma trifecta right there.

Storm137 , Shopwhatelse Report

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is sad and concerning how much normalized is being an alcoholic. Its very obvious in TV and movies; everytime the main character (or a friend) has a rough patch the only solution is to get wasted. I am sorry but having a bottle of wiskey in your working desk or drinking every day is not cool is an adiction that should not be encouraged.

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#6

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With When I was a teenager my parents took away the door to my room.

It's normal for teenagers to pull away from their parents, I guess this wasn't acceptable to her and she wanted to keep an eye on me at all times.

I still have severe issues relating back to this one action. This is after years of therapy and no contact.

To anyone considering this as some form of "punishment", Let me stop you right there. Nothing will get your child to disown you faster than not giving them privacy.

I think she got the idea from Dr.phil Useless c*nts, the both of them.

Gabriel_Godot , Jayden Sim Report

#7

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With That thing where they pretend they got their kids a ps5 for example, the kids are freaking out with excitement, but then its just a ps5 box filled with books or something.

MacyTmcterry , Mike Cox Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why don't you just show children how to love books instead? Books are not a punishment or should be part of a prank

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No wonder so many parenting tactics and trends are so controversial. Not only do parents argue among themselves over who’s right in adopting the best method to raise their kids, childfree people are often equally opinionated. But whatever parenting method mom and dads would choose, we like to think they all know what’s best for their kids. But is it really true?

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Well, to find out, we spoke with Susan Petang, a certified life coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching. Susan is helping those who struggle with stress find relief, manage their fears, and build self-confidence so they can wake up happy in the morning. “As our children grow, they slowly start to separate from us,” she told us. “From the 'Terrible Twos' to the pains of adolescence, the purpose of the journey is to teach our kids how to be independent, happy, and healthy adults who give something to the world around them.”

#8

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With I don’t know how much of a trend it was but on TikTok, there was a trend of parents throwing away their kid's art in front of them and the parents would like laugh while the kid was sobbing.

That’s f**ked up! Of course, you can’t keep every artwork your kid makes but you throw it away when they aren’t home or asleep. My mom used to wait until I was asleep and throw it away in the outside can

The kids I babysit their parents ask me to take their art they do with me so it doesn’t pile up but I tell them I’m keeping it because it’s so good

There’s no reason to make your kid feel like they aren’t a good artist or just feel like their parents don’t care for some TikTok views

weston200 , Jerry Wang Report

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Arieke
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who does that? Seriously......my child knows I can't keep everything but I have terabyte full of photo's you know........

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#9

Making children hug people they are not comfortable with.

m4maggie Report

#10

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Letting the kid make all the choices. I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way.

cihojuda , Annie Spratt Report

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VM37
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read that you have to teach your child to make a decision, but limit their choices. Like per example, you let them pick out which pants to wear, but you cant let them wear summer dress or short in december.

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Susan explained that if you're making all the decisions for your children, they're not learning how to make decisions for themselves. “You're not going to be around forever to advise and guide them; they have to learn to do it alone.”

“Let your kids have some control over things in their lives that are appropriate to their age. For example, even a 7-year-old can decide what they want to wear (as long as it's weather-appropriate and clean). The idea is to let them learn how the world works, how to interact with others, and how to make wise decisions,” Susan said and added that they'll never accomplish that if you make all their decisions for them.

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#11

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With 'My son/daughter is my best friend.'

No, they aren't. They have their own friends and have the agency to choose them for themselves. Over the course of a lifetime, they will have several 'best friends' but they will only have one father and mother.

Your job is to be a parent. You can't do that properly if you are trying to be a friend.

Ducra , Benjamin Manley Report

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Yllix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom n dad became my best friends about a year after I left the house, they have been for years now ❤️

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#12

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles.

AJSK18 , bruce mars Report

#13

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're "talking back". I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?

EntryRepresentative5 , Jonathan Borba Report

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WatermelonTheDutchie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i wouldnt. one time, a kid tried to strangle me at school, and later the same kid put his jacket over my head like he was kidnapping me (all as a "joke" of course). happened almost four years ago and i only just told her

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Trisha Howson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad use to this. And he would say it was disrespectful. I don't do that to my kids I want them to have their own ideas own opinion I want them to be able to stand up and say what they want to say. I think that is part of building their self. I have learned a lot from how my parents raised me what not to do and go from their. I'm shore my dad's parents might of done the same.

Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father was the same. Always with the "nobody respects me in this house" when he ment "you have opinions and tastes and that is not fine with me". He can never say that he is wrong. Once he was willing to let our dog be in such pain that he was trembling just to not admit that i was right and we needed to go to the vet. I was 15 and after fighting for like 1h I took my vallet and the dog and took him to the vet. He had a terrible food poisoning. My father instead of apologizing gave me a huge yell about "how did i dare to scape from home" and even years later talked about how "i scaped".

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Marco Hub-Dub
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was called a smart Alec and treated that way specifically by my aunts and uncles. My parents hated that they were stifling me. No, I wasn’t speaking out of turn nor being difficult. I simply corrected their ignorance and idiocy when I knew they were wrong. Incorrect or not, their egos felt it was too much to be corrected or rebuked by a child. I’m not a genius, but they were/are serious idiots.

Liseliz Rodriguez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Theres a time to correct others and a time to shut up. Just because your smarter than everyone else does not give you the right to continue to point it out. Sometimes you just have to let people believe their lies. No one wants to be around a child who just wants to correct everyone all the time. Cant even have a conversation, watch a movie or show because "thats wrong" or "that cant actually happen" My brother is like that. No one can stay around him for more than 4 minutes without wanting to punch him in the throat.

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Mermaid Elle-Jaye
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had this, and it does greatly affect your ability to speak up over anything. You know your opinion or ‘excuse’ is going to be taken with mocking and disbelief so you just don’t bother anymore

Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that's exactly how I became a child sexual abuse victim, because I was seen, but not allowed to be heard.

Michael Sanders
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s terrible. I feel sorry for you. As an offer I recommend the app Sanvello. It is a supportive app that not only checks on you everyday and gives some recommendations to help, but the reason I recommend to you is they have a AMAZING forums about every possible issue. You can find anything for anything. It is also completely anonymous. You have a place where you can just vent anything that troubles you and you will always find support. Sometimes people comment with support and suggestions (I do occasionally), but a lot of the time it is a forum to just release the stress. I honestly recommend this to you and everyone else that has something they want to get through. -FYI- I do not work for Sanvello, I just really like it. I live alone for now and it is nice for even my phone to check on me. 🙂

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Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or telling kids "Don't contradict others, it's rude." Welp, sometimes you're wrong, or you've missunderstood something. Being able make, and to listen to, a respectful correction are also important life-skills.

lemon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Stop talking back to me."= I don't want to hear your side of the story. "Because i said so"= I don't have a valid reason why.

Becca Hauck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't/ don't keep my children from saying what they want to say but "because I said so" means that I don't have to come up with a reason that my child is willing to accept to make a decision. It means we're done arguing.

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Immortal Emperor Paradox
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is because the adult sees this as a challenge to his/her authority. They are the King, the provider, and the child is the subject, the dependent. So how dare the puny subject talks back to the almighty King?

Becca Hauck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad used to try to control everything that I did and said even into adulthood. He would tell me that he is the KING of his castle. I told him that if he keeps going like that then he'll be the king of an empty castle. That's what happened.

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Jennifer Norton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, a lot of parents need to know the difference. You need to know when your kid is talking back and being defiant and when they are just expressing themselves.

Flopsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also public humiliation type of punishment is terrible.

Mike Beck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What do you mean "what if their kid ... "? They'll accuse them of making it up, of course. In my house, talking back is forbidden but explaining your reasoning is all but demanded. Those are two different things.

Lexa Raine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can tell you from experience, you end up keeping everything from your parents. Bad s**t happens but you feel like they won't believe you or simply won't care.

Carrie de Luka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely. Though, and some parents might not like this, but even with good relationships children may well keep things from their parents. It won't necessarily be anything that matters but children need secrets with their friends or their own inner world. It is part of growing and strengthening their own identity and is actually really important.

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JillyMack
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was raised by parents like this and decided I wanted to be the opposite with my kids! If my answer is "no" to something, they get an explanation. If I'm in the wrong, much as it pains me to admit it, I apologise. My kids are fairly vocal if they feel they've been wronged and stand up for themselves, which my parents would have punished me for severely. But my kids have also learned to admit when they're in the wrong too - even if it's begrudgingly lol.

Carrie de Luka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Massively important. Bet they know how to apologise properly as well. Might be begrudging but they'll do it. Teaches them that strong people admit their mistakes but weak will try and bluff it out or hide it.

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Nunya Bus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, I witness this a lot. Learn to pick your battles. A friend's husband went ballistic because when he dropped his eldest at HS, the middle child was in the backseat and he wanted her to get out of the car and get in the front seat. She's 13 and was mortified to get out of the car in front of all those high schoolers. Stupid? Of course. But you're not real logical at 13. And really so what? HE got so angry and accused his daughter of disrespect. Dude chill. That's the hill you want to die on with your kid? Whether or not she gets our of the car in front of teenagers to get in the front seat with you? You're in for a long ride as your kids get older cause this is nothing. I laugh at my friends sometimes because they end up coming to me for advice because I chose not to have kids and I think because of that I never really grew up so I remember way to well what it was like.

Carrie de Luka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a valid point in that. Parents have to think like parents. It can get in the way of remembering or considering certain things from a child's perspective. They can see it still, but it has a parental filter or overlay that always has to be taken into account because, when all said and done, they have to teach the child and think of the pitfalls and so forth.

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Anne Mitchell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Add to that parents who interrupt an adult conversation to listen to a child rather than teaching the kid to either wait until the adult stops speaking or say "excuse me"

deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My siblings and I were allowed to give our opinions on things and this is why we can now have open and honest discussions with our parents.

bxttery_bxby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A few months ago, I had my first experience with catcalling. Some guys from school were leaning out the window of their car and yelling at me as I walked home. They said some things that I won't repeat. I told my mom, because understandably, I was upset by it. Both her and my stepdad said "That's just what boys do." When a guy tried to grab my arm in a store, my mom refused to believe me. When a guy at work made inappropriate comments about me and another underage coworker, my parents told me to get used to it. I'm worried that I won't be able too tell them anything, should something worse happen.

Tara Raay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sorry you have to deal with shitty parents. F**k them. Carry a large safety pin with if you don’t feel comfortable with a weapon. Don’t be afraid to stab a rapist. Do what you must because a man will do what he wants.

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Leah Reid
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I definitely try and talk to my son as a maturing human. I apologize if I'm wrong. I also tell him that no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and no one knows every and anything. We all still learn everyday. We just don't realize it. We all are still practicing to make improvements somehow.

P. Mozzani
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Telling a parent about abuse is not the same as a smart-ass response to a parent's instructions to the child. One is vital information, the other is unnecessary disrespect.

bisexual tubbo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when I was 11 my dad didn't let me get depression medication because it "causes kids to turn transgender" and I said it doesn't and my dad FLIPPED OUT and said i was talking back

Bobby
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could put parents who never admit they are wrong with this one. Hey sorry I thought you did (thing). Can I make it up to you? Or hey I lost my cool back there and that wasn't right, I still stand by what I was saying but I shouldn't have lost my temper. Can we talk about this more after we've both called down? Not hard things to say to your kids at all

Grietjie Roos
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We were not allowed to have a say. My children and grand children have a chance to voice their ideas or whatever they need to say. Difference is, they do it with respect and we don't interrupt each other while speaking

Anh Aline Vuo
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad was like that. Lots of old fashioned Asian parents were/are like that. I'm still resentful.

Sophia L.
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, people talk back to you. That's how conversation works

Deb Dedon
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Talking back' is discussion that builds reasoning ability. Quashing discussion breeds rebellion.

Leigh Ann Stephens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My oldest, at three years old, taught me one of the most important child rearing lessons ever. Hubs and I were hanging our son's brand new Pokemon poster he was SO excited for. In discussing the typical 'higher, lower, move it over an inch' type decisions in hanging it my son tried to get our attention and as I looked at him his little shoulders drooped in the most disappointed way. I took the time to ask him what was wrong, and got a response: "It's MY poster." All he wanted was for it to be hung where HE could see it. Poor lil' guy! Hubs and I looked at each other and asked son where would that be. He pointed up above the top bunk bed. That's were it went. In the wisdom of a three year old, he taught us that what we wanted didn't always reign. Little guy could climb to the top bunk, sit on his knees and enjoy that poster all by himself! Where we had planned it to go would have been decoratively placed, but not able to be enjoyed by a short person! We then praised him for speaking up!

Loretta Davila
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its hard to admit to your kid that you were wrong. But take it from a mom who has four incredible grown daughters who are raising families of their own, it’s not only the right thing to do, it’s the only way to raise your kids! You are an imperfect being. And your kids are sometimes right!! Hallelujah!! What an absolute joy that your kids are smart enough, have enough freedom, enough confidence and enough guts to be right! You, have done a great job!!

Grace Ann
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who's experienced this my whole life with my own grandparents, I can attest to the fact that it really makes the child feel like they can't approach their parents. When we speak up for ourselves or try to explain ourselves we expect you to LISTEN. Once the child stops expecting their parent to listen to them, they stop telling them things. Because if they're not going to hear us out, why should we even bother?

OhForSmegSake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Simple, we don't tell them that it is happening bc we are to scared that our parents will punish us. So, of course, the inappropriate touching continues and even turns into something worse.

Did you hear that?
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also hate when someone says no to a child before they even finish their question. It's rude to interrupt then and makes then feel like their words don't matter. I had to take full grown adults to the side and tell them not to do this.

Trisha Berry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tread lightly. My son is 3.5. I explain everything, especially when he asks for an explanation. There is no "because I said so" in his life, never had been. This little man is too much at times though. He pushes past explanation to 'not being quiet until he gets what he wants'. Everything I say that he doesn't like, he wants to challenge. At times, I shut him down and he gets his feelings hurt. That's life too. He has lost a privilege multiple times, for not heeding a warning to stop 'explaining'. I am trying to teach him the difference in back talk and correction of unfairness or flat out wrong. It's not easy. Just saying it's a slippery slope.

Madhavi Manjarawala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Listening ' that's what it is called. And it is very important. Child could be narrating a made up story or even lying about a situation. But you have to listen first to what they want to say. Bashing for lying can be done later..

Lisa Reuss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That child wouldn't tell those parents. They've been taught to shut up, to be "seen + not heard." No way they are confiding in their parents when something is bad.

Glenn St-Germain
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Elizabeth Line
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Mom my math teacher is sexually harassing me. I told the dean of students." "Are you SURE he was doing that? He could sue you for defamation! Maybe you misinterpreted his actions? He could sue you! We can't afford that!" Thanks for believing me guys.

Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents who want their children to be swwn but not heard are disgusting!

Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes parents think kids are talking back because they are kids and can't express themselves properly or they will just ignore them! They act like kids don't have problems at such a young age! If you can't tell when your child is just talking back to you or trying to explain something You are a piss poor parent!

Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, this why, when I was crying myself to sleep every night and wishing I was dead, I never told my parents. Because when I talked to them about past trauma, they began listing how they've improved and all the things I have now. Every attempt to talk to them about my issues turned into a lecture, so I never told them anything unless they caught me by surprise and I told them something I wished I hadn't. Fortunately, they've definitely improved, and I told my mother about my suicidal tendencies. I have a doctor's appointment at the end of the month :).

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should always admit to your kids when you're wrong. They need to know you're just as human and capable of making mistakes as they are. Being an adult does NOT mean you're never wrong.

Heather Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so frickin important, my doods. Saying how they feel about something and reasoning about it should be encouraged. Sometimes I was wrong when I went to punish my kids. Sometimes I would snap unfairly when I had a bad day. Just like us, they can have bad days. Don't jump down their throat. Try to find out what happened, get them to open up. Maybe they're not getting good sleep. Maybe they're stressed out because their best friend & they had a fight. You MUST treat your kids with some modicum of respect and trust & forgiveness too 🥰

Linda Samples
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I taught my daughter she could disagree with anyone BUT she had to do it respectfully..

Jill Bussey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have always been very careful to acknowledge to my grandchildren that I make mistakes. I also stress that although I will not break a promise, sometimes promises come with a proviso. For example, going to the zoo in a howling gale and torrential rain is not going to happen!

Rens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always explained things to my daughter in an age appropriate way, why I was saying "no" or whatever. She always got to express her thoughts.

Redspiderlily_622
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad used to give me this bs, and eventually when I was 14 I told him to stfu and that he could either listen to what I have to say or wonder what J could've said after I die.

Andreia Pereira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This point following the previous one is strange. So, don't let your kid have more than 2 or 3 choices, but at the same time listen to your kids, so they know they can come to you. But what if they are asking is outside the 2 or 3 choices?!

Lady Goldberry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My niece was sexually abused by her half brother on her dads side...she told her dad and he beat the living daylights out of her for 'lying'. She was too scared to tell anyone else for a long, long time.

Run
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if it's not that, then they'll call you a "know it all". You might also hear phrases like "stay in your place" or "you think you know everything".

Liz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. My mom would always ask me what I was thinking or why I'd done something and then when I tried to answer, she'd snap "no excuses! no explanations! only apologies!"

J. Normal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But there is nothing more defeating than losing a debate with a 5 yr old. I did not allow "sass" but an upfront and honest explanation, question was always encouraged ... ( how I lost a debate to a very smart 5 yr old)

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Susan argues that when people feel their lives are out of control (even teens), they will get super stressed out trying to find something they CAN control. So she invited parents to stop and ask themselves, “is that what you want for your kids?”

#14

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Oh man, I’m a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this.

One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they’re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues.

What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty.

Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers.

My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily they’re potty trained now.

cleaning-meaning , Charles Deluvio Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son wasn't toilet trained until almost 5 and that wasn't due to lack of trying. My friends daughter was still wearing pull ups to bed at the age of 8 and again that wasn't through lack of trying. Some kids have developmental issues that make things a bit harder or takes them longer to learn.

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#15

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With The “bulldozer” parent - ie the parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great.

spinefexmouse , Jordan Whitt Report

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Elsker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heard something like this called curling parents. Love the phrase, the behavior bot so much

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#16

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society

sweettooth_92 , Kazuo ota Report

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Trisha Howson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lot lot of parents do this. And think of how the child feels sometimes they don't want to do that sport but.....their parents make them. And it got to make them unhappy

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#17

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid.

When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games.

Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right?

Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements.

littlebunsenburner , Adi Goldstein Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on a mums group and one of the mums was asking about what people did for their child's first birthday or christmas and some of the suggestions was insane. Like a 1 year old doesn't need a bouncy castle, farm animals etc. A 1 year old doesn't understand. For both my kids first birthdays AND christmases, they received necessities like clothing for the following year, shoes, bedding, 1 or 2 age appropriate toys and a couple of books. And definitely no birthday party. Just some family for coffee and cake with a store bought $5 chocolate mud cake. In saying all that, each to their own. If they want to waste their money then that is their choice.

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#18

Allowing kids to constantly mess with pets, even when the pet is giving warnings that they'll attack soon.

Parents, this is a pretty solid way to start teaching kids about consent from the get go.

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Mermaid Elle-Jaye
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And at wildlife parks, and aquariums, I’m constantly drilling parents about things like - your 5 yr ok’d just threw a live starfish from the touch pool - maybe teach your little s**t how to handle a delicate animal and maybe both bond over learning about the starfish. Don’t just sit on your damn phone and let your C. Goblins run anarchy in the touch pools. They aren’t stuffed animals they are living beings

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#19

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Not setting clear boundaries. You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences.

NorthWeight3580 , Arwan Sutanto Report

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Haunting Spirit
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Setting boundaries isn't normally the problem. Keeping the boundaries (by both parents) is.

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#20

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Not believing the teacher ever. “My kid never lies to me”.

Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing.

jdith123 , Taylor Wilcox Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A kid is a kid, and kids will tell lies. Not to be malicious, but because their brain sometimes just goes 'which outcome will get me in the least amount of trouble?'.

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#21

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Fake “Gentle Parenting”

You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions.

canadainuk , Tim Mossholder Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS!! Life is full of boundaries, of no's, of not always getting what we want. Children MUST learn this

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#22

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Pretending that not parenting is parenting.

'I wont tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!'

StoicDonkey , Timothy Eberly Report

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#23

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Not saying no to your child. They have to learn to deal with a no sometimes, and having a chat about why it is no and whether it could be a yes another time is also an important part of them learning to deal with no.

coocoorookoo121 , Kelly Sikkema Report

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Paul C.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Life is often filled with failures, that is what makes success all the sweeter. I don't understand the "everyone is a winner" thing. All that does is make it more difficult to overcome disappointment later in life, such as not getting a job after an interview. I just don't get it.

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#24

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Talking down to kids and making them feel stupid. Sure maybe at 5 they aren't the most intellectual people, but 9/10 year old are smarter then people give them credit for. Don't talk to then like they are stupid because they are not. The only thing that does is lower their self esteem and makes them feel small.

_ManWhoSoldTheWorld_ , Zika Radosavljevic Report

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Helenium
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Growing up I wastold I I was stupid and destructive. I wasn’t. I was taking radios and video players apart to see how they worked then put them back together. I wanted to be an engineer but girls have to work in offices. So I work in an office.

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#25

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Saying “what goes on in this house, stays in this house.” I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase.

Dixie_Maculant , Zhivko Minkov Report

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, that’s part of how abuse works. Abusers aren’t going to say “feel free to tell everyone that I’m beating the s**t out of you”, you know?

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#26

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Making your child terrified to fail. I remember constantly being told if I ever even got a “C” or below— on even something as minor as a pop quiz— I would be “flipping burgers for a living.” I was so unmotivated to even try by the time high school came, because it had been drilled into me that I was destined to be a loser.

S**tStuckInYourTeeth , Caleb Woods Report

#27

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Nonstop supervision. Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?

ansibley , Kirk Cameron Report

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Number 5
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom prevented me from having friends because of this. I was a kid when cellphones were just starting to be an item everyone had and my household hadn't picked up the trend yet. My mom tried to keep me inside as much as possible otherwise, with every move I made outside, I was expected to run home and tell her where I was going in the neighborhood. This wasn't realistic and no kid wanted to waste time constantly running/biking to my house with me to tell her I'd be at X, then Y, then Z. We're not talking about being extremely far away from home; just within the confines of the neighborhood. Kids were starting to ditch me so I decided to not tell her once. My mom had been secretly checking up on me all this time and called the police when I wasn't where I said I'd be. That was basically the end of my friendships as a kid unless they wanted to play indoors at my house.

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#28

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With always letting kids win/do what they want, its unfair on older siblings because i get given chores and my little sister gets to sit about doing nothing and getting whatever she wants completely free

avixron , National Cancer Institute Report

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#29

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Making your kids spend time with family even though they get treated bad. Like inlaws who would rather spend time with their other grandkids and not yours.

Caligirl0310 , Phillip Goldsberry Report

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Trisha Howson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't care who is anyone treats my kids bad is gonna get mouth full unless they are getting on to them for a good reason.

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#30

I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And let them have vacation jobs for pocket money. It will be great experience once they are older. I never worked because my parents were all "you need to study 24/7' and then could not find any low job like waitress or cleaner because i had no experience.

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#31

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With The thing every parents including mine said. "Finish your plate" or "Finish your plate or you won't get any dessert".

It gave you an unnecessary goal to shove food you don't want down your throat and made that into a lifelong habit. Fortunately I've always been into sports but many aren't, so now obesity is everywhere.

I knew it was a bad habit and I wouldn't stay fit for my entire life if I kept eating until I get a stomachache every single meal so I worked hard for years to finaly get rid of this habit in my early 20s when I moved into my apartment.

I will never do this to my kids.

LoganCifer , Providence Doucet Report

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Lou Cam
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Generally a behaviour that started in the generations before when food was sparse and snacks not available. My parents held to this and my Dad will clear off his plate and anyone else's for that matter. He really struglles with his weight. I had an ED growing up so I let my kids decide when they're full. Also giving them age approproate portion sizes to begin with helps.

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#32

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions.

They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle.

IAmRules , Kat J Report

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Hamilfan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my mom always said that I could talk to her about any feelings I had, but when I did she would tell me that i'm lying and trying to get more attention. because of this I was afraid to admit if I was ever in pain or feeling depressed/suicidal. my mom never seemed to understand that that is why I never trusted her.

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#33

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With Helicopter parenting, kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside o a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom.

Cat_Astrophe_X , Phil Hearing Report

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zovjraar me
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahaha, that's how i grew up- get out or help clean the house. come back for lunch and then out the house again until dinner. rainy/snowy days were excepted though.

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#34

Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not a huge believer in homework coz I believe kids need to have their own downtime but also time to spend with family and doing their responsibilities around the house. They go to school for about 6 hrs a day, 5 days a week. Give the kids time to be kids for crying out loud. The only homework I can support is reading and for the younger kids, sight words.

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#35

People Share 35 Parenting "Trends" They Strongly Disagree With telling kids that studying is the only thing that they do in choldhood and that everything else is just useless stuff

grimreaper_245 , Jessica Lewis Report

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J. Normal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did tell my Son that during his childhood, that school was his JOB. and he needed to do his best at it.

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#36

The trend of never telling your child “no”. Apparently you’re supposed to reframe your objective with things like “yes, but”. Like instead of “no, you can’t have any candy”, you say “yes, but only after you eat your dinner”. Um, no. Kids need to hear and learn the meaning of no, because sometimes the answer is just NO. This trend is only going to lead to entitled adults.

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#37

The one where everyone feels entitled to judge your choices. The thing I’ve learned as a parent is that every kid is different so you have to adapt. Don’t want screens/allow your kids reasonable screen time? Great. Breastfeed/formula feed? Great. Sleep train/don’t sleep train? Great. If you are a parent that is judging other parents for things that are reasonable (I am not referring to people who are being ridiculous or not parenting altogether) you’re a jerk.

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#38

Parents incorporating personal wellness buzzwords into their excuses for being neglectful and sometimes even abusive to their kids. Like "I shouldn't have to owe my own time and money to somebody whose behavior just isn't contributing to my happiness and positive energy blah blah blah they're exploiting the legal and societal pressures on—" sir that is a fourteen-year-old you literally chose to raise and no amount of talking like a self-help book will change thay, grow up.

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Kate Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the same vain, people who inflict their own personal 'holistic' versions of medicine on their kids when they need serious help. I knew a woman who's son had allergies, like really major ones, and used to make him wear a crystal around his neck to combat the 'natural forces of the earth' and redirect allergens away from him. I'm just like...this poor kid. Same with ...I think they're called Christian Scientists. They don't believe in medicine only prayer. That's a criminal offense to me.

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#39

Starting a kid in a single sport from an early age and making that their whole life for some goddamn reason

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Hamilfan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my parents tried to do this with cheer, every year no matter how often I begged and pleaded to be allowed to stop they would sign me up for it again and again. eventually they let me quit and now I wont try another sport for fear that if I do I will never be able to stop even if i'm not enjoying it.

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#40

Never letting your children assert their own independence or experience things on their own. Congratulations, you've raised an anxious mess of a human being with zero life skills and no ability to cope in the real world.

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Kai David
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Laundry day, the boys did their own laundry ( age appropriate skill level as they grew), each son had a once a week turn planning and cooking a meal-age appropriate supervised as they grew. The boys learned how to make bread and pasta from scratch etc. Why learn when you can buy it from the store they would ask. Sometimes there is no store to buy it from. When that snow storm hit the NE a few years ago and shut everything down for over a week; they were so proud because they knew how to make bread etc from scratch.

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#41

demanding that other people do the parenting for them. whether it's shoving the burden onto teachers that are busy trying to teach them academics, or the newer "waaah, the internet needs to be regulated so my precious tots never see anything inappropriate on it! what do you mean i should supervise their use of the internet or wait until they're older?"

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Kate Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This applies to forcing siblings to take the brunt of the parenting as well. I'm a firm believer that if you can't afford children, you should stop having them. Accidents happen but if you're already struggling, stop inflicting that on the rest of your family. Grandmothers get it a lot, too. Some kids, in particular those who have single parents, are forced by that parent to take care of the siblings that the parent is too busy to take care of. I knew a girl whose mother didn't understand birth control and had 8 kids, no father in sight. The older girls were basically the children's mother because mom was never around. I know some boys deal with this too but I feel like the girls in the house get this more than the boys in most cases. So many teenage boys get to go out and hang out with their friends while the girls are forced into a day care role for the younger kids.

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#42

The whole “hands off parenting approach” drives me nuts to see parents never tell their kids no and just let them do whatever they want.

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Kai David
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet these same parents are quick to call the police when they see kids outside playing without adult supervision

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#43

Either telling kids to do anything because "I told you so" or comparing them to friends/siblings

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#44

Trying to be your kid's "friend," not a parent. A parent is there to provide guidance and responsible behavior to model. Yes, sometimes making their actions have consequences and setting boundaries can be difficult and they'll not be too happy with you. That's part of the job. Ultimately I think that will result in a healthier relationship than being the "cool" permissive parent. I've seen results of that style of (not) parenting with very sad outcomes.

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#45

Constantly telling your child that they’re the only reason for your existence and stuff like that. My mother does this cause we have both been mentally abused by my father. But this puts a s**t load of pressure on me. It also made me super anxious about anything I did. They’re also strict so when I moved to college I went wild. I would do what most college students did and had fun but during the nights I wouldn’t be able to sleep thinking about how she would be CRUSHED if she knew. I am anxious to the point I can’t tell her that I am sick and possibly dying. I love her but her way of showing her love suffocates me.

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#46

Perpetuating the myth that one's children are somehow special. With about 97% certainty, they are not. Teaching them that they are just sets them up for crushing disappointment down the road. It's far better to raise kids to believe they are ordinary people with a few gifts, but also some flaws and weaknesses.

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tbh, I say this because she is special to me. She knows she's not to other people, but to those who do love and value her she is special and precious.

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#47

Over scheduling

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Wistiti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let them breathe! You are tired from driving them from one activity to the other? Imagine how they feel - the one who has to actually do those activities!

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#48

Forcing your kid into every activity possible. It doesn’t create the structure they think it does.

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#49

Treating a child like they’re dumb for things that are perfectly normal for their age.

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#50

Calling you kid your “mini me.” It just makes me cringe every time I hear it.

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#51

Having no discipline over your children BEFORE leaving the house. I hate to be THAT person. But I just remember growing up, that well before my parents even thought of, taking me to the grocery store or restaurant, I was well schooled on how to behave. And this was rather in front of company or not.

Now days and especially when I worked in retail, it just seemed some parents were trying to make everything a teachable moment on the spot or either damn near threatening to ring the kid's neck, cause they weren't listening to them. Like dude, start disciplining the kids early and at home. When family or friends are around and you might not have to struggle so hard or be so embarrassed, when little Johnny takes more than one cookie or won't stop running around the store.

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds more like an angsty retail worker who doesn't have kids. Children are unpredictable. What I do notice is parents bringing their kids out on an empty stomach, for too long (they need more of an outlet throughout the day than just following you around as you browse) and too late. Especially when it's past 7pm and you hear shrieking throughout the mall. Or even past 9pm. Yup, the kid is tired and hungry. Time to go home.

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