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“All Feelings Are Welcome, All Behaviors Are Not”: Parents Are Sharing Their Best One-Liners
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“All Feelings Are Welcome, All Behaviors Are Not”: Parents Are Sharing Their Best One-Liners

Interview With Expert
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If you’re a parent of young kids, or even teenagers, there’s a great chance you’re very familiar with the sound of your own voice. Saying the same thing. Over. And over. And over again. Turning into a stuck record can get old fast. And super frustrating to say the least. Plus, at some point, the kids just tune out the noise. And the cycle gets more vicious than a hangry, tired toddler. If this all sounds painfully relatable to you, listen up. Or in this case, read on…

There’s a mom who has been been sharing gems of advice on TikTok. And in one of her latest videos she revealed the top ten parenting one-liners that she swears by. The expert claims using these short phrases will not only help you save your breath and sanity but can also play a huge part in ensuring your children grow up to be kind to themselves and others. Bored Panda reached out to parenting expert and founder of The Peaceful Parent, Lisa Smith for her take on parenting one-liners. 

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    There’s been a trend in gentle and peaceful parenting over the past few decades

    Image credits: Frolopiaton Palm / freepik (not the actual photo)

    And one mom has this advice if you’re trying to balance being kind with not having to repeat yourself a hundred times

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    Image credits: mediaphotos / freepik (not the actual photo)

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    The mom shared an extensive list of parenting one-liners she claims are highly effective

    Image credits: raisigkindkids

    You can watch her TikTok video here:

    There are positives and negatives to using parenting one-liners, an expert explains

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    Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)

    Lisa Smith is the founder of The Peaceful Parent. Her journey to becoming a parenting expert began at a time when she found herself excelling in her career but feeling like she was failing as a mother. She was more than happy to provide some advice when Bored Panda reached out to her for an interview.

    We began by asking Smith to define parenting one-liners. “Parenting one-liners are short, scripted phrases that parents use to handle tricky situations quickly — things like ‘Because I said so’ or ‘Calm down'”, she told us. 

    But the expert warned that using them can have a downside. “While they can work in the short term to get compliance, they don’t address the underlying emotional need or teach the child how to manage their feelings,” she explained. “Kids might comply out of fear or to avoid conflict, but it doesn’t build emotional intelligence or trust. Long-term, they might actually lead to more pushback or emotional distance.”

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    Smith says a better approach is to stay connected and curious about what’s driving the behavior, rather than relying on quick fixes.

    We asked the peaceful parenting expert to share a few of her own one-liner suggestions. And here’s what she came up with: 

    “I see you’re really upset right now. Do you want to talk about it or need a minute?” Smith explained that this validates the child’s feelings and gives them agency.

    “I’m not willing to let you hit, but I can help you with what’s upsetting you.” This one, she says, sets a boundary while showing you’re available to help.

    “I hear you. That sounds hard.” This simple validation without trying to fix the situation helps kids feel understood and calms them down.  

    And finally, “Let’s figure this out together” invites cooperation instead of conflict, added Smith.

    “While I don’t recommend using one-liners as a way to control or shut down a child’s emotions, some helpful phrases can create connection and emotional regulation,” said the expert.

    Before we let Smith go, we just had to ask why parents often have to repeat themselves. “Repetition happens when kids aren’t emotionally invested in the task, don’t feel connected, or when they’ve learned that ignoring you is more effective than listening,” she explained.

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    And the million-dollar question: How do we get children to listen the first time? (Asking for a friend.)

    “If you’re repeating yourself, the first step is to slow down and connect,” replied Smith. “Instead of yelling across the room, go to them, make eye contact, and say calmly, ‘I need you to put your shoes on now.'”  

    She says you can also give children choices to build cooperation. For example, “Would you like to put your shoes on now or after you grab your toy?”  

    “If they still resist, try to figure out what’s underneath. Are they distracted? Tired? Needing connection?” suggested the expert. “Listening improves when kids feel like they have a voice and some control over their environment.”

    Other parents shared their own effective one-liners in the comments

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    Ic_polls

    Poll Question

    Have you tried using parenting one-liners or similar phrases before?

    Yes, frequently

    Yes, occasionally

    No, never

    I've never heard of this technique

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    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

    Read less »
    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

    Read less »

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Viktorija Ošikaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Honesty will never get you in trouble", says Fai. Oh, yes it bloody will; that's why we often use tact over truth.

    no adhesiveness 2020
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told my kids, you don't owe honesty to someone who intends to do you harm by it.

    Kat Alison
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would change “you have to be friendly with everybody” to “you have to be polite to everybody.” I refuse to be “friendly” to a s s h o l e s. I’m not going to invite them to do things with me. I’m not going to eat lunch with them. If I’m stuck chatting with them, I’m going to be polite but not warm; and I’m going to leave as soon as possible. Why? Because I don’t want to encourage them to hang around me. I want them to leave me alone. If I’m overly friendly, they’ll start to follow me around, call me on the phone, etc. And if I’m forced to allow that, I may not stay polite.

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    Child of the Stars
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use most of that list, and I'll add two more: it's okay to be mad at a grownup and grownups make mistakes too.

    Load More Comments
    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Honesty will never get you in trouble", says Fai. Oh, yes it bloody will; that's why we often use tact over truth.

    no adhesiveness 2020
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told my kids, you don't owe honesty to someone who intends to do you harm by it.

    Kat Alison
    Community Member
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would change “you have to be friendly with everybody” to “you have to be polite to everybody.” I refuse to be “friendly” to a s s h o l e s. I’m not going to invite them to do things with me. I’m not going to eat lunch with them. If I’m stuck chatting with them, I’m going to be polite but not warm; and I’m going to leave as soon as possible. Why? Because I don’t want to encourage them to hang around me. I want them to leave me alone. If I’m overly friendly, they’ll start to follow me around, call me on the phone, etc. And if I’m forced to allow that, I may not stay polite.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    Child of the Stars
    Community Member
    2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use most of that list, and I'll add two more: it's okay to be mad at a grownup and grownups make mistakes too.

    Load More Comments
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