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Having a healthy and emotionally stable environment is crucial for a child's well-being, but, like pretty much everything else in our world – parents are not perfect. 

There's no one right way to become this flawless individual that'll spare their offspring of all the distress. Ideally, a parent will be there to support, encourage and guide their kid throughout the not-so-great periods of life while also allowing them to be independent. Yet, not every person is aware that the things they assume they do "out of love" are not loving at all.

"What was your parents' biggest mistake in raising you?" – an online user took it to one of Reddit's most informative communities to find out about people's parents and things they've done wrong in terms of their upbringing. The question has managed to receive over 4.3K upvotes alongside 2.9K worth of comments discussing some Redditors' troubled childhood. 

More info: Reddit

#1

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term I was one of those gifted kids that do very well in school without much effort. My parents were used to it so they never praised me for my results and expected me to always do good by default. This resulted in me thinking that very good was just average, and constantly striving for perfection in any aspect of my life. This led to countless problems that I needed therapy to solve.

_FreakLikeYou_ , Lars Plougmann Report

#2

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Giving me no privacy. My parents snooped way too much. Searching my clothes draws for hidden things, checking my phone, eavesdropping on my conversations, talking about my private life to their friends as if it was hot gossip, spying me when i was out, asking their friends to report in if they ever saw me out and around, checking my mail, checking the computer history every time i used it, listening to my CD’s to check they were appropriate, arranging additional meetings with my teachers to ask about me, asking me personal questions all the time. Basically not giving me any space to just be me.

They also made a lot of jokes about me to other people, right in front of my face. I often felt like i was their pet more than an actual human.

I’m now deeply self-conscious and suspicious as a result. I always have this feeling that people are watching and judging me.

Edit: reading it back, that all sounds minor. But believe me when i say i didn’t have even once second of privacy and they went to extreme lengths to find out every single thing i was doing at all times even when i was out of the house. They would then share that information about me with their friends and colleagues, like i was just a piece of gossip or a tv storyline.

whymyheadhurt , THX0477 Report

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#3

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Wayyyyy too sheltered. I will definitely shelter my kids to an extent and raise them right but my parents took it to the extreme. I was only allowed to play with religious children and wasn't allowed to watch movies besides basically Disney movies until I was in High School. This led to a pretty rebellious phase when I was around 15 that I think could have been avoided if my parents weren't so strict.

CrispyCrunchyPoptart , Nenad Stojkovic Report

#4

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term the way they used to communicate through me because they wouldn't speak to each other after they seperated. when I had to deliver a message from one parent that the other one didn't like, I was the one who was yelled at, and both of them asked me to side with them instead of the other. there was no way to win, because I always either made mummy sad or daddy sad. good times.

thingstooverthink , Michael Coghlan Report

#5

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Leaving me to my own devices so long as my grades were good. Not teaching me much of anything outside of knowing right from wrong. Outside of being kept alive I pretty much raised myself.

Wyzeman3283 , Michael Scialdone Report

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#6

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term 1. Teaching it’s never OK to lie is an awful life lesson for keeping yourself out of trouble.
2. Being a “member of the clean plate club” teaches kids to keep eating when they’re full.
3. teaching that the man is head of household, when that doesn’t work in a lot of relationships.

Donler , respiritu Report

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Kusotare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially #2. I have a difficult relationship with food because my parents insisted we eat everything on our plates.

Bunzilla
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother's mother lived through the Hunger Winter in Holland during WWII-- and very nearly starved to death (she got to the swelling up stage of starvation, the final stage). So she made my mother eat everything on her plate. I have to keep reminding my mother that it's okay to not finish everything on her plate if she's full. She's got some rather bad acid reflux issues now. Fortunately, my mother never did this to me as she recognized it as unhealthy. Reminder that kids' stomachs are about the size of an adult's fist. They're small. Don't make your kids overeat.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Number 3. In this household, we're co-heads. It's just respect.

Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is very rarely OK to lie, a child just can not understand when it is correct to not be 100% truthful, so they should be taught never to lie until they can deal with it.

Kitt Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I don’t think lying is a good thing there are some instances where it is required for example if you are trapped in an abusive relationship and need to lie to your abuser to stay safe while seeking help.

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Jeff Lum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard disagree on #1. If you have to lie to stay out of trouble you're doing something wrong to begin with. Lying about something to spare somebody's feelings doesn't do them any good in the long run. The world would be a much better place if people were actually honest more often.

Mike Schad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you can't imagine any situation where lying would be acceptable then you're likely not too bright.

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Alexis minnix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grew up with all 3 of these. I would raise my kids different but I’m not having any

Carlotta Müller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man are never head of any household. There is never a head of any household. Only partners. Every other is not a partnership it is a slave/master relationship.

Jode Mode
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was raised to never lie, about anything, ever, period. I got brainwashed to be a goodie-goodie and it has never served me well. I believe it led to lots of bullying and guilt and ambivalence in many situations. I’ve learned lying helps keep you safe and out of potentially dangerous situations- like telling a guy who’s hitting on you that you have a bf when you don’t… answering a question with a lie when it comes to any situation you do want to become involved in. This may be a generalization, but as a woman, sometimes we need to lie and then some to stay safe!

Heidi Nicholas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

#2 If we're like so full that we can't eat any more my parents will let us put it in the fridge to eat later. It works great for me and it doesn't end up wasting food. That's their biggest problem is the food waste. But its also kind of my fault because they tell me to start with smaller portions and I usually end up starting with bigger portions.

SoloDadof3
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I teach my children; Be open and honest about yourself, not everyone has to accept it! When at dinner, eat till you feel full, but do try everything on the plate (at least a bite). There is no "head of household" we all work as a team!

Mark Melton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Food being used as reward or celebration will encourage a person to soothe with food.

Philly Bob Squires
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man is not head of household... I love a strong woman who will let me have enough rope to hang myself! I do very well for myself... but sometimes you need a good woman who will let you fly but knows when to cage you when needed. LOL I will run over a weak woman... I want a girl to kick me in the a*s on occasion.

Lisa Johannesson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a teacher who literally wouldn't let me leave the dining area until I'd finished my massive load of mashed potatoes. Excuse me if I'm like 9 and can't quite tell how much food my stomach can resonably hold. Sometimes it's not the parents -_- f**k that woman. F**k her sooo much

Joseph Bresett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was lucky my mother always let us get our own food on our plates because she always said that she could never give is trouble because we didn't eat what we put on our own plates

Ecto Plasm
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this was always something that was confusing to me as a kid, i was taught that lying was never okay and sin is sin so ill go to hell for lying bc lying is just as much of a sin as murder. yet i was still taught to lie and say that my parent was "in the shower" when a stranger came to the door. but i was still beaten for lying about my class going out for recess so i didnt have to take a bath.

Carbonel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kind of dismayed at the phrasing of #1. Of course there are times when it’s ok to lie… most especially when it comes to other people’s feelings. But “keeping yourself out of trouble”? Um, no. I read that as lying to save your own skin, regardless of the consequences. And that is most definitely not ok.

Kitt Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It can come in handy if someone finds themselves in an abusive relationship and needs to lie to their partner while seeking help so they don’t get hurt or worse.

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Michele Wintzloff
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a clean plate club parent and it has affected me to the point of anxiety around dinner time

abby smink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad wouldn't let us up until we finished all the food on our plate. Not only does it teach you to keep eating when you're full, but it teaches you that it doesn't matter if you actually like a food or not. I get it that a lot of kids can just be super picky, but it is ok to have dislikes when it comes to food.

Vaa10
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am 19 years old and I still having to dealing with the 2. I tell my parents that I'm full and can't eat anything anymore and they yell at me saying that I'm doing that because I want to have a snack later (even if I don't have snacks in the afternoon for a while now), saying that the reason that I'm not hungry it's because I drank water before lunch and etc

Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Must be difficult to be considered legally an adult, but not being treated like one by your family. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

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Amber.exe (She/They)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

#2 my parents said a clean plate is a happy plate and i some times hate throwing away food bc of it

AlanandLeila Hoyt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teach them not to be dishonest…but they don’t owe all information to everyone and they do need to know they can lie to protect their lives from someone who is evil

Mtg Wolfie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1, its fine to lie. But never about anything important. And if you're caught, just be honest. If I ask if you know where the candy bar is, its because I see the chocolate on your cheek that you forgot to wipe off. 2, always eating everything is great. If you want your kids to be unhealthy. But if you want them to be better, then teach then healthier habits. This isn't the depression. We don't need to scrounge and save every bite now. 3, there is no head of household. Marriage is a partnership and should be seen as such.

Neill Powell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Clean plate club" should be considered bad-parenting. Children will eat when they're hungry. Stop eating if you're full. That Last mouthful is already too much. If you're a meat fan but not a starch fan, get a better quality, smaller steak and dine on a salad with it. Most people are not "not eating enough food" they not getting proper nutrition.The varied diet is literally exactly what it's cracked up to be . Portion-sizes are not.

Jennette Jenkin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1. Yep, its never okay to lie. My mother would tell 'white lies' to my father to 'keep the peace' she would say. I dislike lies, so rarely feel that I have to lie. 2. Had to eat everything on our plate! Father would turn the light off (knowing we were afraid of the dark) and wouldn't turn it back on till we said we'd eat it all. Or, he would block our nose with one hand and when we opened our mouths to breathe, would shovel it in with fork in the other. 3. Yep, he was the head. Whatever he says goes. You dare not challenge him, even if you were accused of something you didn't do, for that would be considered 'answering back' ...... physical discipline would follow.

Bill Kotsias
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's never OK to lie. But you don't need to present the whole truth every time, everywhere, to everyone, unasked. But again, it's never OK to lie

Mike Schad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutes and black and white positions are the domain of the feable and simple minded.

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Don Garretson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These work fine unless the child is taught to believe they will adversely affect their lives.

Don Garretson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These work fine unless the child is taught to believe that it will harm them.

Becca Hauck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with you on number 2. On lying though, I think you have to challenge yourself to be brave and take responsibility for the things that you say and do. I don't know of a situation where lying makes the situation better. Number 3 comes from the Bible and it works when you follow what the rest of the Bible says... About men loving their wives and what the actual definition of love is, etc.

JMC5003
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How fortunate for you that you've never been in an abusive relationship where lying about simple things (like did your mother call today) is necessary to keep you alive.

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Sara Blu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just barely getting away from this as an adult it made me gain weight. Since I could now buy all the foods I wanted then I would make myself eat my whole plate. Nothing going to waste. Now I stop eating when I'm full. I have a son and he will gladly finish whatever I don't lol.

Michael W
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

#2 is super tricky. We have one child who we know is full when he's done; sometimes he'll eat the whole plate, sometimes half, but he doesn't make a fuss and just stops when he's done. Then there's the second kid... who wants to live on chocolate and cookies. We never have any real idea how full she is because she'll sit for hours and stare at a full plate, which will happen even with meals she chose for herself. The only approach that sort of works is establishing that she gets no more food until a certain specified time in the future and there's no after meal treats if no food was eaten. I'm sure we're still screwing this up somehow but we're at a loss for what else to do.

Rob Davison
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister and I were both overweight as children because of the clean plate nonsense. Still today at gatherings at my mom's house I tell my great nieces and nephews to just put small servings on their plates and then go back for more small servings. That way my mom who is 95 and not all there won't fuss at them even though she doesn't prepare the meals anymore. t

Christine Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I take issue with number two because it could be a an actual valuable lesson about learning how to control portions, and not take more than you need. It could be about self control, knowing oneself, and gratitude all in one. But I do know that alot of that gets lost in translation in many households. But learning how not to be wasteful is so valuable too, especially given the statistics on food waste (40% of food produced literally goes to waste).

Remi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, maybe. But I wasn't allowed to choose how much food goes on the plate and was forced to eat it all at home, in kindergarten and first 6 years of school. In school we could request a larger or smaller portions, but the cook seemed to give more to those who asked less as some sort of sick power play. Guess who's obese and a binge eater.

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John Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

2 can sort of work if you allow for seconds and let the child decide how much they want to put on their plate. It teaches them about food waste and portioning. And of course do not force the issue if they are really full.

Winter Eleven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh dad tried to make me make lunch for the both of us at like age 12 since mom was away but me being undiagnosed adhd had an obsession with a book series at the time (Percy Jackson) and had to read like all 5 of them at once so i i just said i wasn't hungry and took a popsicle to keep me up till i was finished reading without brakes

Dawn Birdsong Olmsted
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They should have taught you that it is OK to lie to keep yourself out of trouble?

Akram Ahmed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree, being a member of the clean plate teaches kids to be better planners & the value of not throwing away food when children in other countries are starving of hunger. If you have been served food you can't finish speak up early so it can be reduced instead of taking it & having to throw it away midway coz you are full.

Kitt Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh or you could teach the kids how much it it’s to make the food and when they pay for food and throw it away because they are full it’s on them instead of forcing themselves to overeat. Some people have eyes that are bigger than their stomachs.

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Thomas Hunt, Jr.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grew up to #1 and #2. #2 was fuuuun. Waste not, want not. Didn't have a microwave in the 80s so I spent many nights sitting at the table, stubborn as hell. I don't have issues with food. As for #3, we all knew it was mom in charge, even though dad thought otherwise. Lol

aj B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Number 1 ensures problems in their adulthood. Has any adult on here actually gotten a job Without lying to at least One interview question?

Jeff Lum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol and this is why there are so many people working positions they aren't a good fit for. I've never lied in a job interview.

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#7

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term My mom always meant well but I have body dysmorphia for life. I’m sharing because if any parents are reading this you should be diligent about how you talk about your body in front of your kids. Don’t talk about needing to lose or gain weight unless it’s for health reasons. Don’t put yourself down about how you look in front of your kids. This creates doubt and body image issues from the jump and that sticks with you forever.

Chereke , Sharron Report

#8

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Never admitting that they did something wrong. An example is that when I was in second grade my mom would literally yell and scold me because she thought that HAVE was spelled HAV, and that also confused me with the word HAD. Even though at school the teachers and everyone else spelled HAVE, when I got home she would scold me for spelling it correctly until I told her that that's how everyone else spelled it. She just looked at the paper and never said a word about it again.

So now I always think that whatever I'm doing is wrong or if something did go wrong and was clearly out of my control I still get nervous.

NotBorris , Ivan Radic Report

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#9

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Taking away sports every time I got a C in school. I will NEVER take away my future kids passions. Does not matter if it is sports, art, music, or anything else. Don't know if the frustration of that will ever dissipate for me. That was my outlet that was severely needed.

jomo1322 , Jamie Smed Report

#10

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Keeping me /s

Honestly, it would have been nice to hear they were proud of me - just once, don’t want to overdo it.

Few_Faithlessness796 , Gerry Dincher Report

#11

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Violently screaming at me for bad grades or poor performance in sports.

I think it had the opposite effect where I became afraid of making any mistakes, which would lead to more mistakes. Feel like if your kid is underperforming in any way, there’s a way to talk to them without making them feel stupid for f*****g up. There are better ways to motivate them.

theMAJdragon , Maks Karochkin Report

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#12

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Never apologizing for anything and then taking it a level up by denying certain things were even f**k ups.

dzogchenism , Ksionic Report

#13

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term They didn’t take any interest in my interests. So now I’m 30 with parents I have virtually nothing in common with. It makes dinner chitchat very depressing for me.

King_Kingly , Richard Masoner Report

#14

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Not teaching me anything about financial responsibility.

wee_man , Nenad Stojkovic Report

#15

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Never teaching me to be independent. My guardian was obsessed with keeping me way too close and I was always sheltered and now I'm alone and don't know how to function

22poppills , aaron gilson Report

#16

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Well my dad's f*****g great but my mother, constant screaming for everything, depriving me of any and all food a lot of the time, punishment for things someone else did, invasion of privacy, not giving a f**k about my mental health, not giving up custody to my dad, constantly degrading me

DemonicAtomic , Chris Yarzab Report

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#17

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Expecting me to have the same grades, activities, and social lives as my older siblings.

BillyJoeFootballIII , Sharron Report

#18

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term If I had a problem, first thing they said to me "its your fault".

dell02 , Jonathan Cutrer Report

#19

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Taught me nothing about nutrition, let me eat junk, and made excuses for my obesity. Took me 10 years as an adult to finally take responsibility for myself and shed the weight.

rawbface , Tony Alter Report

#20

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Due to them giving me insane social anxiety, I now have the social skills of the new kid in elementary school. I can't hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes without making people uncomfortable. I have proceeded to lose all of my friends due to this and am now sad and lonely.

wokenphoenix , woodleywonderworks Report

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#21

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Mom's personality is very complicated and toxic, but what I really hated as a kid was that she didn't want me to grow up. She didn't teach me how to do laundry, pack my clothes, how to swim, anything. She was also overly protective and I still cope with bunch of irrational fears as an adult.

When I was 11 I was really ashamed that kids my age are much more self-sufficient. She was sabotaging me anytime I tried to do some 'adult' stuff like cooking, taking care of myself, nothing illegal - I was well behaved kid. At this time she started ruining our relationship with her behavior, I feel like she hates me for growing up and not being baby anymore

kralicek16 , Ernest James Report

#22

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term They let their fear of dealing with their own trauma turn into causing and ignoring mine.

ViridianBella , HS You Report

#23

Ladling out too much guilt and shame. They are not motivational forces for me to be “better”, in fact quite the opposite was true

Also telling me that I wasn’t good at math. Sure, it wasn’t my strongest subject. But don’t tell a kid that they will never ever succeed at a subject due to some inherent shortcomings

Playing favourites. My brother was allowed to grow marijuana as an “experiment “ by my very straight laced and anti drug parents. In fact they were enthusiastically supportive. Not so much for me. That’s just one example. Basically he could have pissed in my face and our folks would have blamed me. They always made me feel like I was inadequate because I wasn’t like him. My brother is a classic grandiose narcissist.

anon Report

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#24

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Complete apathy.

My parents basically never got involved in me or my siblings' lives. Never attended things like school plays or parents evenings, never cared about how things were going or what was going on. So long as we didn't get into trouble and didn't cause them problems they didn't care and took no interest. "Anything for peace and quiet" as my mother frequently said.

As such, because they never tried to be a part of my life, they effectively aren't a part of my life anymore. We only speak out of obligation, and not very often at that.

Nambot Report

#25

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term They haven't tried to motivate me for anything.

traveler9o , Miika Silfverberg Report

#26

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Forcing me to be a member of their cult under the threat of homelessness.

SlyCoopersButt , charcoal soul Report

#27

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Not being supportive, not dealing with the abuse I suffered from family and school. Pretty much anything that involves my mental health was neglected. Being taught that women were pure and men were c**p, which lead to abuse from women in my adult life cause it had to have been some wrong I've done. Being told is was ugly and I would be inadequate for a woman. I could really keep going for ages on this.

Mr_AsmodeusOfFraggle , tamckile Report

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#28

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Spoiling us and always doing the chores. We ended up being lazy mfers. I'm currently procrastinating writing this.

kazemaru04 , Carlo Cabanilla Report

#29

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term The total lack of boundaries based on the believe that they had raised us to be responsible and smart, even though clear evidence were present that we were not.

ir_blues , Leonid Mamchenkov Report

#30

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Not enough discipline

RolfSonOfAShepard420 , Joopey Report

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#31

Taking me to a non-denominational, pentecostal like church that was a breath away from being a cult. I went from the time I was born until around 17. Years old. We went on average three times a week, twice on Sunday. It's hard to understand all that is going on when you are that young. It's hard to understand it now.

When the gifts of the spirit started progressing and coming into play more during the services , I could only put together pieces that I could comprehend. As a result, I literally thought the preacher's could read my mind. As a result I did what I could to stay out of sight and out of mind which was easy since I was a middle child anyway. But when I would get pulled up to the prayer line I would try extra hard to hide things in the back of my brain. That taught me early on how to compartmentalize and section off parts of myself and especially my emotions. I would be scared when I was up there. If I shed a tear everyone around me would celebrate the the spirit was acting on me. I was crying because I was scared and didn't want to be there.

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#32

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Telling me I was gifted. No, mom I'm not a genius I'm just good at tests.

Also, not getting me on ADHD meds. It would have solved so many homework related problems.

brumagem , Pleuntje Report

#33

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Not making health a priority.

H1ghwayun1corn , Nenad Stojkovic Report

#34

Besides not taking care of me until i was eight, i would say when they actually parented me, they messed up by putting me on a restrictive diet in 3rd grade.

While kids were having fun and talking at lunch, i was memorizing what calories each food had.

I was not unhealthy, i was a growing kid and of course i still had baby fat.

Putting me in said diet made me learn about 'bad' foods which led to developing an eating disorder that i'm only just now recovering from, i became healthy on my own, no thanks to them.

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#35

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term My mom never stood up for herself or us, and let our father scream at us and take his anger out on us. She’s still with him and won’t apologize for letting him mistreat us.

edgyusername123 , Malcolm Murdoch Report

#36

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term Not communicating with me, on my graduation my mother actually said "even though we dont help her, she still has honor"

They also said im just "shy" then i started high school, it turns out i developed social anxiety

WindyYeet , Quinn Dombrowski Report

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#37

People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term They cared but not about the right things. They took the easy way out with me. I was reprimanded but not taught
. 0 communication

AmyVawda , Mr.TinMD Report

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#38

I want to preface this by saying I think I got as lucky as you can with parents. They were consistently supportive, allowed me a lot of independence and trust, and respected boundaries. They were the kind I could call in high school for a ride home if a party got weird. They are generous, not just with me but everyone around them. I am still very close with them and both my brothers.

However, the one area where I think they messed up was in regards to my body. They were very critical of my weight throughout my childhood and teen years. I was never a tiny kid but I wasn't very large, I was a pretty standard size kid for the most part. I played a lot of sports. But my mom was very much a 'do you really need that' type of person with snacks and grocery shopping. They were both very self-critical and into fad diets. When I was a teenager I quit my major sport and as a result put on some weight. At the time I thought I was so fat but looking back I was a size 12 for all of high school. But my parents leveled up the criticism, they got me a Wii Fit for my 16th birthday and mentioned my weight a lot. In another universe I definitely would have had a nasty eating disorder but on the contrast I became very resistant to health and wellness, I hate the gym and I'm weirdly resistant to trying to eat better.

Given all of that I haven't gotten too unhealthy. I'm a bigger girl, between a size 14-18 but nothing extreme. And I've worked really hard to unlearn a lot of that and remind myself that my weight is unrelated to my worth as a person. I'm actually eating healthier now and have learned to make piece with my appearance. My parents still pushed that for a long time, my dad asked every time I saw him if I had started going to the gym yet. My brother finally told them off a couple years back (they never criticized my brothers weight or health at all and both of them had weight fluctuations) and called them out for the harmful behavior. To their credit, they listened, they apologized, and they corrected the behavior.

There is no good that comes from being critical of your child's weight or appearance. A child's body is going to change and fluctuate and grow. Sometimes that involves gaining weight. If you are genuinely concerned for their health go see a doctor, do not try and get them on a diet yourself. Shaming them isn't helpful, as I mentioned it made me highly resistant to a lot of health and wellness. And looking back, I wasn't unhealthy. At least not any more so than an average teenager. I gained weight after quitting a sport where I practiced 12-15 hours a week which happened to be the same time my breasts and hips developed. It happens.

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#39

Telling me I’m smart enough to do whatever I want. It seems as though I’ve spent most of my 37 years annoyed that I’m not doing what I want.

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#40

My mom never showed herself a lot of self love when I (25F) was growing up. Whenever we took pictures she would say to delete it because she didn’t look good. She constantly talked about being too over weight (when she wasn’t even that big) or her crows feet were too prominent when smiling. I have terrible body image and find it hard to love the imperfections about myself.

My mom is a beautiful women with the kindest soul and not hearing her realize that kinda messed with me. Family friends and people in our community constantly called me her mini me growing up because of how much I looked like her.

It’s not as bad now but in high school I’d take pictures with my friends and think of all the things my mom didn’t find beautiful about her and I would find those same qualities in me, so I didn’t think she’d find me beautiful. She would also, still does to this day actually, make small comments of my weight.

Edit: added a lil more backstory

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#41

Letting me fight my own battles...

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