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Creepy Lady Tries Entering Changing Room With Mom And Girls, Calls Mom Racist For Stopping Her

Creepy Lady Tries Entering Changing Room With Mom And Girls, Calls Mom Racist For Stopping Her

Interview With Expert
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Nobody knows how they’ll react in a scary situation until they’re actually in it. Some people freak out and don’t know what to do, others manage to confront it head-on. Sometimes, if we’re trying to protect our loved ones, we may go overboard trying to make sure they’re safe.

This is something a mom had to deal with when she took two young girls out for the day to the public swimming pool. Chaos ensued when a stranger tried to barge into their changing room, and the situation escalated into something worrisome.

More info: Mumsnet

Every parent tries their best to protect their kids from scary situations, but sometimes things can get a bit too out of control

Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The woman had enjoyed a nice pool day with her daughter and her friend, and after swimming, they went to change in a cubicle, but a strange lady soon began banging on the door

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Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The lady kept pounding on the door even after the mom said the cubicle was occupied and later began accusing the mom of stealing her daughter’s jacket

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Image credits: jannoon028 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The stranger was extremely persistent and did not let the mom lock the cubicle while she and the girls were changing, so the mom lost her temper with the lady and called for security

Image credits: Fullmooncomfort

The weird stranger tried to play the victim and accuse the poster of being rude, she even had the audacity to call the woman racist

Everything was going smoothly for the woman and the two girls until a stranger began pounding on their cubicle door. The persistent lady did not stop even when the OP explained that she and the girls would not be too long and that they were still changing. It seems like the other woman simply wanted to pick a fight or had other sinister motives.

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It’s not easy to know how to deal with situations like this, which is why Bored Panda contacted Holly McLean, who’s known as the Mommy Answer Lady. She is a certified parent educator, mom of nine, podcaster, YouTube creator, and author of the book, ‘How to Train Your Child to Behave.’ She has more than 30 years of experience counseling and supporting parents.

Holly told us that “it is becoming more and more common to see people behave aggressively and irrationally in public. It would not be unheard of for you to be going about your normal day, and suddenly, without warning, an out-of-control, angry person will come at you with an accusation, shouting and flailing their arms.”

“Is it possible that this is because the culture has embraced the premise that feelings outweigh all else, including consideration of others? Children have been taught from a very early age that their emotions matter more than anything else and now have grown into adults living out the consequence of this flawed teaching.”

“In this environment, when a parent is faced with a clearly irrational, out-of-control, and entitled aggressor, the first thing to do is consider the safety of their children. Removing the children from the scene as soon as possible is the first order of business. Arguing with the combatant will only escalate the situation,” she explained.

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In this situation, the mom did her best to protect the two young girls. She initially tried staying calm and told the woman to wait while the kids finished changing. When things seemed to get out of hand, she raised her voice and got the authorities involved. Although the girls might have been worried during the interaction, at least they were kept safe from harm.

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

In an intense situation, your first priority is to protect yourself and the people around you. Without thinking, you might also respond aggressively to a person who is acting in an unstable manner. 

Holly McLean advised that “even when the other person is completely out-of-line, aggressive, and irrational, the best thing to do is to answer kindly, calmly, and with an empathetic tone. She also said that “what we feed grows. If you feed the aggression, aggression will grow. If, instead, you answer with kindness, it will squelch the anger and begin to seed an environment of calm.”

Even though the poster had been petrified in that situation and tried her best to resolve it, she only regretted that she had responded to the stranger with anger. She felt that it made a bad impression on her daughter and the other girl.

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We asked Holly if she had any advice for a parent in a situation like this. She said it’s best to “find a way to say calming words, respond to the aggressor with empathy, and say something like, ‘I am sorry you are feeling that way. How can I help?’ In reality, when you are a parent with children in an unstable circumstance, it isn’t your job to make them feel better.” 

“You would only be answering this way to calm down the aggressor and to keep your children from experiencing more drama. So even if you don’t care about how they are feeling or want to help (which is understandable under those circumstances), saying these words and asking that question will help calm them down so you can more safely move away when it is possible to do so,” she shared.

This is an extremely scary situation to find yourself in, and it’s no wonder that the mom got angry with the other woman. She really did her best in a crisis, and hopefully the young girls understood why she did what she did.

How would you have handled a terrifying interaction like this? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Folks assured the mom that she wasn’t wrong to have confronted the stranger and gave her tips if she ever found herself in a situation like that again

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Beverly Noronha

Beverly Noronha

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

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Beverly Noronha

Beverly Noronha

Writer, BoredPanda staff

You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

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Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

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Kristal
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see anything wrong with this. I probably would have asked very loudly if she is purposefully trying to see minors naked by not allowing me to shut the door and lock it.

Surly Scot
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd have started screaming to call the police, someone is trying to break into my cubicle to see my girls naked. I'd have kept screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs until even people out in the pool could hear me, so management could hear me. You don't EVER back down if someone is threatening in a situation like this (refusing to let her shut the door when there's naked minors in there is threatening), especially when there's kids there. You have to become a demon in defense. She accuses racism? Say "she called me a white c*nt", abuser wants to lie? Well I can lie better than Amber Heard on the stand.

Tyke
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or in other words, she showed her daughter and friend that she will protect them and use her voice to do so if necessary.

iseefractals
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does no one remember "the boy who cried wolf?" Apply the moral of that story to the constant cries of "racist/sexist/phobic" which have become shorthand for "i'm not white, and i don't like how this going so YOU are hateful and imma gonna try to ruin your life" B******t like this makes it a hell of a lot easier to ignore legitimate incidents, while also giving people a very, justifiably negative view of taking chances on certain interactions.

Display_Name
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ì would have said, "Well, I think you are a pedophile for trying to barge in and see my girls naked. Ya know, while we are name calling."

BK BigFish
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Racist? So, we're missing context here. Who's white and who's non-white? Why was the crazy woman crying racism? Is the OP white, was the crazy woman non-white - or the reverse, or neither?

Insomniac
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually racism is directed at a non-yt person by a yt person, because racism is inherently systemic. But then again, I've been called racist by a woman paler-skinned than I am (and I am very yt) because I talked too much about my Dutch heritage and she was Ukrainian and that was bad.

Load More Replies...
Steve Robert
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rule number one: Never unlock and open your door to am unknown threat! Or an ex spouse.

Lena Flising
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Creepy woman probably tried to hog the changing room by leaving her stuff during the swim, but someone before OP didn't like it and moved their stuff, and OP got blamed for it. How it is "racist" to not let a stranger into a cublicle with naked minors is a mystery.

Mad McQueen
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah he half naked a two kids you can't protect at once aj open a door to a stranger. They rush in a grab your purse an book it. You half dressed with two kids are kinda stuck. So I think you telling her to calm the f**k down an calling security was prob for the best. And who brings a jacket to a changing room and then leaves it. Naw. Scammy. Smells off. At least the kids learned how to stand up for themselves with being rude.

Nina
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont see anything wrong. If anything, she was quite nice. I would've gone total mama bear and done a lot worse. She should be proud of how she protected the girls. Give her a medal.

kath morgan
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t be mortified they saw you protect them from a bad actor. They should feel like you are prioritising their safety.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am shocked both that a swim/leisure centre has a security guard and that an 8 yo hasn't heard the term racist before or had it explained. I love in a capital city, regularly use a pool in a fairly rough area, there are no security guards. I grew up in a tint town, 98% white (I can personally name the two non-white families) and I knew what racism was to an appropriate degree from 4 or 5. I'm not saying I understood historic or political implications, but just like kids know it's discrimination to be mean to someone wbecause of a disabilitiy, kids know it's racist to be cruel to someone due to race. Children in cities or larger towns that have pools, they learn quicker because it comes up in life and not just on TV. This whole story is weird and suspicious. Probably something happened but OP has added weird details to get more sympathy and it just makes her sound less credible. She doth protest too much about how wrong it is to lose one's temper, and how hard it is to explain to school agekids you've had a bad interaction. You think they've never seen a disagreement? Strange.

Display_Name
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the 8 yr old may have heard the term before. But never in the unnecessary context this woman used it. I would have been confused myself at my age. As in what does the color of your skin have to do with whether or not you come in this stall with us?

Load More Replies...
Hodge Elmwood
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People are crazy. I once had someone open the door to a fitting room at a thrift store where I was trying on clothes. I yanked it back and she claimed she was "looking for some quarters she'd dropped in one of the fitting rooms." I said next time knock first and there are no coins on the floor in here!

Trillian
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A family changing room must be something different from the ones here, bc here it is one big room with lockers for parents and children of both genders. There is no such thing as "locked" or "occupied".

arthbach
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trillian, imagine a large room beside the swimming pool, and or gym/sports areas. In this room, there's individual lockers. There's also cubicles. These cubicles each have a door that reach from about 10-15cm above the floor to around 2m in height. Inside the cubicle, there's a bench, and a couple of hanging hooks. The door locks. Most of the cubicles are designed for one person to use them at a time. Others are larger for use by families, or by people using a wheelchair/mobility aid. venesta-wa...entre2.jpg venesta-washrooms-toilet-cubicles-fusion-benching-bench-changing-room-denbigh-leisure-centre2.jpg

Load More Replies...
Kristal
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see anything wrong with this. I probably would have asked very loudly if she is purposefully trying to see minors naked by not allowing me to shut the door and lock it.

Surly Scot
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd have started screaming to call the police, someone is trying to break into my cubicle to see my girls naked. I'd have kept screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs until even people out in the pool could hear me, so management could hear me. You don't EVER back down if someone is threatening in a situation like this (refusing to let her shut the door when there's naked minors in there is threatening), especially when there's kids there. You have to become a demon in defense. She accuses racism? Say "she called me a white c*nt", abuser wants to lie? Well I can lie better than Amber Heard on the stand.

Tyke
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or in other words, she showed her daughter and friend that she will protect them and use her voice to do so if necessary.

iseefractals
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does no one remember "the boy who cried wolf?" Apply the moral of that story to the constant cries of "racist/sexist/phobic" which have become shorthand for "i'm not white, and i don't like how this going so YOU are hateful and imma gonna try to ruin your life" B******t like this makes it a hell of a lot easier to ignore legitimate incidents, while also giving people a very, justifiably negative view of taking chances on certain interactions.

Display_Name
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ì would have said, "Well, I think you are a pedophile for trying to barge in and see my girls naked. Ya know, while we are name calling."

BK BigFish
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Racist? So, we're missing context here. Who's white and who's non-white? Why was the crazy woman crying racism? Is the OP white, was the crazy woman non-white - or the reverse, or neither?

Insomniac
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually racism is directed at a non-yt person by a yt person, because racism is inherently systemic. But then again, I've been called racist by a woman paler-skinned than I am (and I am very yt) because I talked too much about my Dutch heritage and she was Ukrainian and that was bad.

Load More Replies...
Steve Robert
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rule number one: Never unlock and open your door to am unknown threat! Or an ex spouse.

Lena Flising
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Creepy woman probably tried to hog the changing room by leaving her stuff during the swim, but someone before OP didn't like it and moved their stuff, and OP got blamed for it. How it is "racist" to not let a stranger into a cublicle with naked minors is a mystery.

Mad McQueen
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah he half naked a two kids you can't protect at once aj open a door to a stranger. They rush in a grab your purse an book it. You half dressed with two kids are kinda stuck. So I think you telling her to calm the f**k down an calling security was prob for the best. And who brings a jacket to a changing room and then leaves it. Naw. Scammy. Smells off. At least the kids learned how to stand up for themselves with being rude.

Nina
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont see anything wrong. If anything, she was quite nice. I would've gone total mama bear and done a lot worse. She should be proud of how she protected the girls. Give her a medal.

kath morgan
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t be mortified they saw you protect them from a bad actor. They should feel like you are prioritising their safety.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am shocked both that a swim/leisure centre has a security guard and that an 8 yo hasn't heard the term racist before or had it explained. I love in a capital city, regularly use a pool in a fairly rough area, there are no security guards. I grew up in a tint town, 98% white (I can personally name the two non-white families) and I knew what racism was to an appropriate degree from 4 or 5. I'm not saying I understood historic or political implications, but just like kids know it's discrimination to be mean to someone wbecause of a disabilitiy, kids know it's racist to be cruel to someone due to race. Children in cities or larger towns that have pools, they learn quicker because it comes up in life and not just on TV. This whole story is weird and suspicious. Probably something happened but OP has added weird details to get more sympathy and it just makes her sound less credible. She doth protest too much about how wrong it is to lose one's temper, and how hard it is to explain to school agekids you've had a bad interaction. You think they've never seen a disagreement? Strange.

Display_Name
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the 8 yr old may have heard the term before. But never in the unnecessary context this woman used it. I would have been confused myself at my age. As in what does the color of your skin have to do with whether or not you come in this stall with us?

Load More Replies...
Hodge Elmwood
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People are crazy. I once had someone open the door to a fitting room at a thrift store where I was trying on clothes. I yanked it back and she claimed she was "looking for some quarters she'd dropped in one of the fitting rooms." I said next time knock first and there are no coins on the floor in here!

Trillian
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A family changing room must be something different from the ones here, bc here it is one big room with lockers for parents and children of both genders. There is no such thing as "locked" or "occupied".

arthbach
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trillian, imagine a large room beside the swimming pool, and or gym/sports areas. In this room, there's individual lockers. There's also cubicles. These cubicles each have a door that reach from about 10-15cm above the floor to around 2m in height. Inside the cubicle, there's a bench, and a couple of hanging hooks. The door locks. Most of the cubicles are designed for one person to use them at a time. Others are larger for use by families, or by people using a wheelchair/mobility aid. venesta-wa...entre2.jpg venesta-washrooms-toilet-cubicles-fusion-benching-bench-changing-room-denbigh-leisure-centre2.jpg

Load More Replies...
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