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40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results
Even with the best intentions and brilliant 200-IQ strategies, some children won’t want to be taught important life lessons by their parents. They. Just. Won’t. Listen. And sometimes, these lessons can backfire so spectacularly, they end up making thousands of people laugh.
When Reddit user -Don-Draper- asked parents to share the times their lessons completely backfired, they sparked a whirlwind of a discussion that had us giggling at the fantastic sense of humor The Universe flexes whenever we desperately want something to work. Upvote your fave parenting stories as you scroll down, dear Pandas. And we can’t wait to read your own lesson disasters in the comment section!
What this shows is just how important communication between parents and their children really is. Bored Panda spoke about how to best communicate with kids with Samantha Scroggin, who works in government communications and is the founder of the ‘Walking Outside in Slippers’ blog for parents. Read on for her insights.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I taught my 4-year-old to always compliment people who insult you. Later, we were helping my mother shop for a bathing suit when a woman said something rude to her. My kid squeezed out from behind me and told the woman, 'Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!'
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#2
As good people, we taught our kids that littering isn't nice. As humans, we also let some curse words fly in front of them.
We were at our city's 4th of July celebration when the oldest was 4. We were walking around and someone tossed their trash on the ground. Captain Litterbug flew into action, picked up the trash and yelled, "Hey a**hole, you dropped this," while tapping them on the butt.
#3
When my daughter was young I was trying to teach her the value of money and decided to start giving her an allowance. I explained that because she helped out and did her chores, she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted. She happily accepted and stashed her money in her room, Later that evening before I tucked her in to bed, she goes to her money jar, pulls out 2$ and hands it to me, and explains that it's for being a good daddy.
“Communication is an area I have a lot of experience in, working in government communications for a living. Even with that experience, communicating with my kids is a challenge!” Samantha from ‘Walking Outside in Slippers’ told us that even being a professional such as herself doesn’t automatically make things easy.
According to Samantha, her kids are very intense and high energy, so they need lots of validation. Now that’s something that quite a few parents can relate to! This means that some kids might need feedback from their parents all the time (which can be exhausting during lockdown) while other children might be more likely to ignore any life lessons being taught to them because they’re constantly on the move.
#4
At dinner with fam. Starting a swear jar that we all agree the money will go to help animals at the local shelter. Got all the rules down with the kids and they are excited to start. Daughter (8) says "Well s**t im gona help the animals i'll be right back!" before wife and i can even process what she got away with our son (6) blurts out "F**k yeah me too!" both running to get money from their rooms...
#5
My parents told my sister if she found a horse for free, she could have it. She was an industrious 8 yr old and found a free lease in the paper. She managed to call and sound adult enough to truck the barn into thinking this was a great idea. A trailer pulled up a few days later and unloaded a horse in the yard. Shocked the hell out of mom. And that started 20 years of horse ownership.
#6
My friend’s 10 year-old daughter was going over to a friend’s house in the same apartment complex, but a few buildings away.
Mom: “Ok, what do we do if someone tries to grab you?”
Daughter: “Kick him in the balls and yell ‘FIRE’!”
Mom: “Ha, right, but that’s not a good word, it’s ‘testicles’.”
Daughter: “Ok, kick him in the balls and yell ‘TESTICLES’!”
Mom: “You know...that might work too.”
But the important thing is to breathe in, relax, and be patient. Even if our little munchkins can drive us insane sometimes, we’re the adults and we need to act all mature. And that means sacrificing some of our well-earned leisure time to give our kids the attention they need from us.
“Although kids constantly vying for our attention can be grating, I think it's important we put down our phones sometimes, look them in the eyes and say, ‘Tell me all about that cardboard robot you made.’ Kids want our undivided attention on occasion, and to hear how proud of them we are,” Samantha said.
Now that’s something all parents should take to heart. This might just make your kids more open to learning the lessons you want to teach them in the future! All that remains is hoping The Universe doesn’t find some way to prank parents again.
#7
I was teaching my daughter that if she’s in any situation where anyone is doing something she doesn’t like, she tells them to stop. If they continue, use the palm of her hand and punch “up” on their nose.
My husband and his brother were throwing her back and forth in a pool, she kept asking them to stop, when her dad caught her again, boom. She broke his nose. Literally. There was blood everywhere.
#8
When I was little my family was at an Angels game. My mother went to the restroom and left me with my dad. I wandered off and was eventually found halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arms length while I screamed, 'Call the police! This man is not my daddy!' My parents had taught me stranger danger, but forgotten to teach me what police looked like.
#9
When my daughter was about 5 she asked why we need rain. I explained to her that we need to it grow the food we all eat that are plants. She asked why we need the veggies and I used this as an opportunity to get her to eat her veggies so I told her if she wanted to grow up at all she needs to eat lots of veggies. This kid has requested cucumbers or carrots or bell peppers or any crunchy kinda veggie as her snack since then. It's pretty awesome...
But now I can't enjoy a bag of chips at home any more. She'll walk in shake her head and tell me to go easy "because you're done growing UP, so you can only grow out..."
#10
My teenage son was staying up super late on his laptop doing teenage internet things (porn & gaming I assume) and f***ing up in school, so we put parental controls on the router so that the internet would be turned off from 11 pm to 7 am.
This of course impacted my wife and I, because we lost internet access during those hours too. Grumble grumble damn kids, etc.
Anyway, he was way more tech-savvy than we were, so he was able to bypass the parental controls, and stay on-line as late as he wanted. So the end result of the parental controls was that the parents didn't have internet, but the teenager did.
#11
My son was playing with deodorant and a lighter and almost set himself on fire. I made him write out "I must not play with aerosols" one hundred times. He wrote "I must not play with arseholes" one hundred times. It is now framed and hanging on the wall.
#12
I read a book that suggested you ask your kid what an appropriate punishment for misbehaving would be and then carry it out. My 6-year-old son pinched his brother, so we asked him what an appropriate punishment would be. He said, 'Pluck out my eyeballs and throw me over a cliff.' We didn't carry it out.
#13
My 8 year old was spending too much time playing video games. I asked him to research the harmful results of too much time gaming. He came back with his report stating he needed “gaming glasses” and a “gaming chair.”
#14
Sucessfuly taught my child to question authority. Forgot I was an authority.
#15
My sister tried to teach her kids not to gamble, so she bought a few lottery tickets to show them that they were all going to be losers. She won $500.
#16
Told my children repeatedly that if I found anymore mess/junk on their bedroom floor, I would be donating it to the thrift store. I told them they had 15 minutes to clean it up off the floor.
Came back to find everything picked up, except they went into the kitchen cupboards and had put every food they didn't like in a nice neat pile right in the middle of the floor.
#17
I was trying to teach my 4 year old that it is important to go to sleep because our brains need to recharge. I compared it to my IPad needing to recharge after it dies.
He said “okay...” and got really quiet. Then told me, “mom, I need to go to sleep.” I agreed with him, but asked why he was suddenly tired. He started crying and said “because I don’t want to die.”
#18
Watching the World Cup Semi final this year with my 4 yo daughter, I was trying to teach her how we wanted the team in White to win (England), and not the team in Black (Croatia). We even chanted a couple of “C’mon England!” chants together.
Newly enthused with a love for chanting, she suddenly started shouting;
“CMON ENGLAND! BEAT THE BLACKS! WE HATE THE BLACKS! WE HATE THE BLACKS!”
Quickly taught her the “We don’t say it like that” lesson.
#19
My parents taught me to call 9-1-1 when I saw somebody doing something illegal. I called the cops on The Wiggles Movie I was watching when I was 5 because a clown stole a cake.
#20
My wife tried to explain the concept of heaven to our 5 year old after great grandpa passed. My daughter did not believe one ounze of it. She responded "you're making that up mommy, you can't be in heaven and a cemetery at the same time".
#21
Me and my wife started using code words in front of the children, mainly if we wanted to discuss plans without getting the kids too excited and getting their hopes up. For example we would say GP instead of play ground, cylindrical slice of cow place instead of McDonald's.
They have cottoned on to this and now use code words amongst themselves which we're struggling to figure out.
SirPatTheCat 4 years ago (edited)
Once when I was probably about 6 my mom and her friend were talking about rice crispies and wanted to be discreet because there were a lot of excitable kids around. She tried to spell out “R-i-c-e c-r-i-s-p-i-e-s” because she didn’t want me to know, but underestimated my spelling skills and I proceeded to shout “RICE CRISPIES??!!” and started a riot xD
#22
When I was like 16, my dad told me that I need to stop treating him and my mom like my friends because they're my parents. The very next day, before I got home from school, I had friend requests from both of my parents on Facebook. I denied them both. When my dad got home from work we had a conversation that went like this: Dad: Did you see that your mom made a Facebook account? Me: Yes, I did. Dad: Well, did you accept her friend request? Me: No, I didn't. Dad: Why not? Me: Because, just yesterday you told me you're my parents, not my friends. By the way, I also denied your friend request.
My dad just looked at me, looked at my mom who was almost in shock over my response, and said, "He's not wrong. I said that."
#23
Not me but my aunt - she was trying to teach my young cousins that spiders are leggy friends and nothing to be scared of. She demonstrated this by bringing them all into the bathroom to witness a huge wolf spider.
"You see, it's so much more scared of us than we are of AAAAARGGGGHHH!"
It bit her. Of course it bit her. She flung it high into the air, screaming blue murder, whilst her newly traumatised offspring screamed a falsetto counterpoint.
#24
My aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousins to address adults as 'Mr.' and 'Mrs.' In order to do this, they used each other as examples, and consequently were known to their kids as Mr. and Mrs. Iannuccilli for two months. One of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of hearing ‘Dad’ he started hearing, ‘Mr Iannuccilli!’ Cracks me up every time.
#25
Not a parent, but when I was little I noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls with crayon. Taking on the role of Helpful Big Sister, I informed her that if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn't write her name and give herself away. A few weeks later she carved patterns — and MY name — into the desk in the study.
#26
Not a parent but when I was around 12, my father suspected that I stayed up late playing videogames, even though I didn't. One night he went into my room and told me that I shouldn't play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, because I needed to rest. That's when I realized I could play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, and I've suffered from insomnia since then.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Never warn a child to NOT do something, because you are teaching them that it is actually something you CAN do. "Don't drop the glass" or "Don't slam the door" and guess what will happen.
#27
When my son was about 3 or 4 he started to ask about how babies are born. I sat him down and gave him a very simple, age appropriate explanation.
He just looked at me, shook his head and said just said 'No.' Very calmly but in a 'I can't believe you think that's how it works' tone of voice like I'd told him fake news.
I was prepared for difficult questions and even prepared for the fact that he might ask me things that even I didn't know, but I was completely unprepared for him to just simply not believe me when I told him the truth. I just sat there not knowing what to do while he went back to playing lego.
#28
One of my 5-year-old twins was still having accidents because she'd get so caught up doing things that she'd pee her pants. To combat this, we began giving her a prize when she didn't have an accident. This caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes too.
#29
As the kid and not the dad...When I was 11 my father caught me smoking. As a punishment he made me finish the whole pack.
I hated my first cigarette and had no intention of ever smoking again. But after smoking that pack I would try to hang out with the older kids and smoke with them because after all, my punishment wasnt as bad as the usual whoopin' and they found me funny to have around.
I smoked until I was 37 or so. Yeah, my dad was an idiot.
#30
My nephew mispronounced the name of a certain kitchen appliance, so my sister broke it into syllables very distinctly for him, saying "it's mi-cro-wave."
My nephew nodded very seriously and replied "It's your crow wave!"
Binxyminxem 4 years ago
Lol reminds me when I was little, me and my family were going to Miami on holiday. I asked my mum what's an ami, do I have one, what's her Ami's name etc. 😁
#31
I taught them to stand up for what they believe in....
All of a sudden they believed veggies were the devil and bedtimes should be abolished.
#32
I wasn't trying to teach him but I was asking my three year old what the colors of traffic lights mean. Green means go, Red means stop and Yellow means speed up. From his experience I guess that made sense also made me more aware of how I'm driving.
#33
I tried to teach my kids to be content within themselves and how to be alone. Full success, they rarely ever go out. 22 and 24. They are so mellow that they don't tell us when something goes wrong since they were middle schoolers.
What do you think ?
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
My dad was an accountant and he printed us tickets with his handmade signature on it for pocket money for a year. My brother spent it fast, i didn't and i came to my father at the end of the year with all my rabbits tickets: "you owe me that". He thought that i had lost them. No i was "Scrooge mc Ducking" swimming in my rabbits tickets all the year, thinking about this exact moment. Christmas money+rabbit's tickets=i'll be very rich. I bought a kid windsurf, board and sail.
IlovemydogShilo 4 years ago
when I was 10 I was told a joke at school . The following week I was visiting my uncle and I remembered the this joke even though I didn't really get it. Thinking of the joke I asked my parents what a stroke was. They told me that is was when you had a bleed on the brain and other bits about the illness. Now the joke made sense to me so I went and told it to my uncle. The joke was this; " 3 nuns were out walking in the park. A naked man jumped out in front of them. One nun fainted, one nun had a heart attack, and the third had a stroke. My parents sat there absolutely mortified and unable to stop me. What made matters worse is that my uncle is a Catholic Priest. Luckily he saw the funny side.
Your Local Lizard 4 years ago
My mom once told me that i should eat my food because there were poor homeless people who couldnt get food and she told me they ate spoiled food from the trash can. So i put my food in a container and threw it into a trashcan so the homeless could eat it.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
My dad wanted to prove it's not that easy to shoot. I outshot him with a pistol my third time at the range. Didn't backfire on him per se, but he feared backlash, b/c he never let me go to the range again.
Todd Hollfelder 4 years ago
I was with a friend and his 3 y/o son. We'd gone to the mall to get pictures with the Easter Bunny for his family members. My friend was carrying him across the parking lot when, suddenly, he started pointing at a rather rotund woman walking the opposite way. His hand went up and he started pointing at this lady. He started screaming, "Piggy, piggy", very loudly. Needless to say, I crossed the aisle and melted into the scenery. Little did we know, his parents never married, his mother had been teaching him this. She got a good word salad when we got him home!!
Ravenwolf 3 years ago
Once my parents told me not to lie about ANYTHING. So after my mom took a shower with a body wash I didn't like the smell of, I said "You smell like garbage!" I spent the next ten minutes in "time out" and pondering why my parents got so mad at me. I still think if this moment seven years later.
Kinsey Rice 3 years ago
I learned where babies come from from my YOUNGER cousin. My cousin, (7) just said, “When I came from your vag***.” I cried bc I thought it wasn’t appropriate. Now, a year later, I had half of “the talk” with my mom. She said, the baby goes in your uterus, and it grows along with it. That’s why your belly looks big. I figured it out on my own hearing the words “sperm” and “sex” and I also hear my parents doing it every night. My dads excuse: “her back was hurting” I used the internet to find out.
Evelyn Dean 3 years ago
When my little brother was little, my aunt came over to see us. She's a cool aunt, and she always has some sort of funny story to tell, but this story is all of ours. When she was leaving, she said the phrase, "See you later, alligator!" And my brother, not knowing what it meant, answered with, "Bye, cow!"
totinos pizza rolls 4 years ago
As a kid i got one of those fairies that would fly up when you put your hand under them. My dad wanted to try it and I said, "Just don't break it." And guess what he did... he broke it. And from that day on I never let him play with my stuff.
Doo Wiki 4 years ago
What happened to all the "lessons"? This list started at 106 and is now down to 40.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
At the end of the post "Note: this post originally had 106 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes." if you click on 106 you will see all of the "lessons".
Load More Replies...
Dog Fan For Life 3 years ago
These were fun! Many children make some of the common mistakes in some of these posts, and sometimes they are so funny, you can't help but chuckle!
Kylee Mcelroy 3 years ago
Not the parent but the child, was always a sarcastic person so when my mom was teaching me to make my bed in the morning I would say "Why make my bed when i'll mess it up two seconds later?" needless to say she wasn't happy :/
Vivian eyler-werve 3 years ago
once my dad said that if I watched youtube all night I would become nocturnal like an owl. I LOVED owls and I became nocturnal for around a month after that. sleeping through the day, having breakfast at dinner and lunch at midnight. the whole enchilada. fortunately during summer break.
Anna Feldman 4 years ago
one time when i was little i put mardi gras beads down the sink and when the plumber came i was like "Ohhh! so that's were they went"
rr 4 years ago
If you think kids interpretations are challenging wait til the "unexpected consequences" of artificial intelligence begin. God help us now.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
My dad was an accountant and he printed us tickets with his handmade signature on it for pocket money for a year. My brother spent it fast, i didn't and i came to my father at the end of the year with all my rabbits tickets: "you owe me that". He thought that i had lost them. No i was "Scrooge mc Ducking" swimming in my rabbits tickets all the year, thinking about this exact moment. Christmas money+rabbit's tickets=i'll be very rich. I bought a kid windsurf, board and sail.
IlovemydogShilo 4 years ago
when I was 10 I was told a joke at school . The following week I was visiting my uncle and I remembered the this joke even though I didn't really get it. Thinking of the joke I asked my parents what a stroke was. They told me that is was when you had a bleed on the brain and other bits about the illness. Now the joke made sense to me so I went and told it to my uncle. The joke was this; " 3 nuns were out walking in the park. A naked man jumped out in front of them. One nun fainted, one nun had a heart attack, and the third had a stroke. My parents sat there absolutely mortified and unable to stop me. What made matters worse is that my uncle is a Catholic Priest. Luckily he saw the funny side.
Your Local Lizard 4 years ago
My mom once told me that i should eat my food because there were poor homeless people who couldnt get food and she told me they ate spoiled food from the trash can. So i put my food in a container and threw it into a trashcan so the homeless could eat it.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
My dad wanted to prove it's not that easy to shoot. I outshot him with a pistol my third time at the range. Didn't backfire on him per se, but he feared backlash, b/c he never let me go to the range again.
Todd Hollfelder 4 years ago
I was with a friend and his 3 y/o son. We'd gone to the mall to get pictures with the Easter Bunny for his family members. My friend was carrying him across the parking lot when, suddenly, he started pointing at a rather rotund woman walking the opposite way. His hand went up and he started pointing at this lady. He started screaming, "Piggy, piggy", very loudly. Needless to say, I crossed the aisle and melted into the scenery. Little did we know, his parents never married, his mother had been teaching him this. She got a good word salad when we got him home!!
Ravenwolf 3 years ago
Once my parents told me not to lie about ANYTHING. So after my mom took a shower with a body wash I didn't like the smell of, I said "You smell like garbage!" I spent the next ten minutes in "time out" and pondering why my parents got so mad at me. I still think if this moment seven years later.
Kinsey Rice 3 years ago
I learned where babies come from from my YOUNGER cousin. My cousin, (7) just said, “When I came from your vag***.” I cried bc I thought it wasn’t appropriate. Now, a year later, I had half of “the talk” with my mom. She said, the baby goes in your uterus, and it grows along with it. That’s why your belly looks big. I figured it out on my own hearing the words “sperm” and “sex” and I also hear my parents doing it every night. My dads excuse: “her back was hurting” I used the internet to find out.
Evelyn Dean 3 years ago
When my little brother was little, my aunt came over to see us. She's a cool aunt, and she always has some sort of funny story to tell, but this story is all of ours. When she was leaving, she said the phrase, "See you later, alligator!" And my brother, not knowing what it meant, answered with, "Bye, cow!"
totinos pizza rolls 4 years ago
As a kid i got one of those fairies that would fly up when you put your hand under them. My dad wanted to try it and I said, "Just don't break it." And guess what he did... he broke it. And from that day on I never let him play with my stuff.
Doo Wiki 4 years ago
What happened to all the "lessons"? This list started at 106 and is now down to 40.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
At the end of the post "Note: this post originally had 106 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes." if you click on 106 you will see all of the "lessons".
Load More Replies... Dog Fan For Life 3 years ago
These were fun! Many children make some of the common mistakes in some of these posts, and sometimes they are so funny, you can't help but chuckle!
Kylee Mcelroy 3 years ago
Not the parent but the child, was always a sarcastic person so when my mom was teaching me to make my bed in the morning I would say "Why make my bed when i'll mess it up two seconds later?" needless to say she wasn't happy :/
Vivian eyler-werve 3 years ago
once my dad said that if I watched youtube all night I would become nocturnal like an owl. I LOVED owls and I became nocturnal for around a month after that. sleeping through the day, having breakfast at dinner and lunch at midnight. the whole enchilada. fortunately during summer break.
Anna Feldman 4 years ago
one time when i was little i put mardi gras beads down the sink and when the plumber came i was like "Ohhh! so that's were they went"
rr 4 years ago
If you think kids interpretations are challenging wait til the "unexpected consequences" of artificial intelligence begin. God help us now.
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