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Even with the best intentions and brilliant 200-IQ strategies, some children won’t want to be taught important life lessons by their parents. They. Just. Won’t. Listen. And sometimes, these lessons can backfire so spectacularly, they end up making thousands of people laugh.

When Reddit user -Don-Draper- asked parents to share the times their lessons completely backfired, they sparked a whirlwind of a discussion that had us giggling at the fantastic sense of humor The Universe flexes whenever we desperately want something to work. Upvote your fave parenting stories as you scroll down, dear Pandas. And we can’t wait to read your own lesson disasters in the comment section!

What this shows is just how important communication between parents and their children really is. Bored Panda spoke about how to best communicate with kids with Samantha Scroggin, who works in government communications and is the founder of the ‘Walking Outside in Slippers’ blog for parents. Read on for her insights.

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#1

I taught my 4-year-old to always compliment people who insult you. Later, we were helping my mother shop for a bathing suit when a woman said something rude to her. My kid squeezed out from behind me and told the woman, 'Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!'

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    #2

    As good people, we taught our kids that littering isn't nice. As humans, we also let some curse words fly in front of them.

    We were at our city's 4th of July celebration when the oldest was 4. We were walking around and someone tossed their trash on the ground. Captain Litterbug flew into action, picked up the trash and yelled, "Hey a**hole, you dropped this," while tapping them on the butt.

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    #3

    When my daughter was young I was trying to teach her the value of money and decided to start giving her an allowance. I explained that because she helped out and did her chores, she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted. She happily accepted and stashed her money in her room, Later that evening before I tucked her in to bed, she goes to her money jar, pulls out 2$ and hands it to me, and explains that it's for being a good daddy.

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    “Communication is an area I have a lot of experience in, working in government communications for a living. Even with that experience, communicating with my kids is a challenge!” Samantha from ‘Walking Outside in Slippers’ told us that even being a professional such as herself doesn’t automatically make things easy.

    According to Samantha, her kids are very intense and high energy, so they need lots of validation. Now that’s something that quite a few parents can relate to! This means that some kids might need feedback from their parents all the time (which can be exhausting during lockdown) while other children might be more likely to ignore any life lessons being taught to them because they’re constantly on the move.
    #4

    At dinner with fam. Starting a swear jar that we all agree the money will go to help animals at the local shelter. Got all the rules down with the kids and they are excited to start. Daughter (8) says "Well s**t im gona help the animals i'll be right back!" before wife and i can even process what she got away with our son (6) blurts out "F**k yeah me too!" both running to get money from their rooms...

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    troufaki13
    troufaki13
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't mess with children logic!! :D

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    dc1 avatar
    DC
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    F**k, these children not only take care of s**t, they also sacrifice part of their damned innocence to help those animals not being f****d up by humans who already are. I'd be f*****g proud of them little smartasses!

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    Jane W.
    Jane W.
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clever and nice kids, but it did take a bit of a turn there.

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    Roxy Eastland
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mum instigated a swear jar but stopped it again when she realised she was the only one putting any money into it. I guess she discovered she swore more than she realised.

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    imlaysheepinchina avatar
    I'm lay sheep in China
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    U could just say other way round like if anybody curse then we're not going to local animal shelter

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    William Geonnotti
    William Geonnotti
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ramind anyone else of the bud light swear jar commercial? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI3Y1auTFpU

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    Sharon Hyatt
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hilarious ! ! ! First time ever I actually laughed out loud . . . . . .

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    delanceyhsu avatar
    Delancey
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *inhales*

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    Adriana Coppage
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k how much money?

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    Lyra Sis
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are really are excited by helping the f*****g animals lol

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    Thomas Turnbull
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It would be better if you used the word family instead of fam and my wife instead of just wife as it makes her sound like just an object.

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    Myxomatosis
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus F*****g Christ on a Bike and Tabernacle! <- Yes, I am Quebecois. Saying Tabernacle growing up when I would see my Mom on a custody weekend would guarantee a bar of soap into my mouth for ten minutes. 1 minute for each letter. I eventually started using my Pepés swear word "Cadenas" which means padlock. As a young girl, cadenas was so much fun. I have said Tabernacle as an adult and ooooh.. that IS bad. There was a group of elderly women at the pharmacy last year and I said 'Tabernacle! C'est vrai?!!" over the price of something.. I did not notice these women.. but I heard their gasp.. followed by "I cannot believe her mouth!" in French. I whipped around and profusely apologized. Have not said it in public since.

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    Tammy Rawdon
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    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please, I've only know it used for Utah's Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I'm curious as to how it's a cuss word. Thank you. Update: I just found out that this isn't the cool new little American website that I was led to believe. So if this stupid american put my foot in my mouth, please forgive me.

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    Jennifer Norton
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    these are the moments as parents that you can't help but be proud of the humans you brought into the world!

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    AMELIA ADAMS
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am a child. my mom swears all the time but i never swear.... exept in my mind :p

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    A_BadlyDrawnBearPic
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not really a punishment, that's a win-win! At least for the kids... They get to swear AND help small animals! :)

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    William Geonnotti
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this reminds me of the bud lite swear jar commercial https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI3Y1auTFpU

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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well, at least the animal shelter has money to spare

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    Fara Giganti
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if my mother did this after 5 rounds of bedwars i would be anounced a hero to animals

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    Deborah B
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reverse it! "There's $20 in quarters in this jar for the animal shelter. Every time you swear, mom takes out a quarter. At the end of the month, we go down and you can donate what's left to the animal shelter."

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    Mark Kelly
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like it would encourage more swearing since they love animals

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    Thomas Turnbull
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    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Ralph Spooner
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To the adults in that family, you should have seen that one coming.

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    Todd Hollfelder
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Question: where did the kids learn these words in the first place? And you had to start a swear jar at a family gathering? Isn't that saying something?

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    Elaine Mattingly
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so sad and discouraging. Putting the animals before the children. Teach the child to care as much for their well being and growth as for being kind to the animals

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    Sharon Hyatt
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure that will be he next tactic..... I'm not too worried for those kids... obviously the parents care or their wouldn't be a 'jar' for them in the first place . . . . .

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    #5

    My parents told my sister if she found a horse for free, she could have it. She was an industrious 8 yr old and found a free lease in the paper. She managed to call and sound adult enough to truck the barn into thinking this was a great idea. A trailer pulled up a few days later and unloaded a horse in the yard. Shocked the hell out of mom. And that started 20 years of horse ownership.

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    #6

    My friend’s 10 year-old daughter was going over to a friend’s house in the same apartment complex, but a few buildings away.

    Mom: “Ok, what do we do if someone tries to grab you?”

    Daughter: “Kick him in the balls and yell ‘FIRE’!”

    Mom: “Ha, right, but that’s not a good word, it’s ‘testicles’.”

    Daughter: “Ok, kick him in the balls and yell ‘TESTICLES’!”

    Mom: “You know...that might work too.”

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    SoozeeQ
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Priceless! (And saying "fire" is good too. If someone yells, "rape", chances are people won't want to get involved, but if they yell "fire" people will come from everywhere!)

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    But the important thing is to breathe in, relax, and be patient. Even if our little munchkins can drive us insane sometimes, we’re the adults and we need to act all mature. And that means sacrificing some of our well-earned leisure time to give our kids the attention they need from us.

    “Although kids constantly vying for our attention can be grating, I think it's important we put down our phones sometimes, look them in the eyes and say, ‘Tell me all about that cardboard robot you made.’ Kids want our undivided attention on occasion, and to hear how proud of them we are,” Samantha said.

    Now that’s something all parents should take to heart. This might just make your kids more open to learning the lessons you want to teach them in the future! All that remains is hoping The Universe doesn’t find some way to prank parents again.
    #7

    I was teaching my daughter that if she’s in any situation where anyone is doing something she doesn’t like, she tells them to stop. If they continue, use the palm of her hand and punch “up” on their nose.

    My husband and his brother were throwing her back and forth in a pool, she kept asking them to stop, when her dad caught her again, boom. She broke his nose. Literally. There was blood everywhere.

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    Martha Meyer
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well... guess that taught dad something about consent too.

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    #8

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results When I was little my family was at an Angels game. My mother went to the restroom and left me with my dad. I wandered off and was eventually found halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arms length while I screamed, 'Call the police! This man is not my daddy!' My parents had taught me stranger danger, but forgotten to teach me what police looked like.

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    #9

    When my daughter was about 5 she asked why we need rain. I explained to her that we need to it grow the food we all eat that are plants. She asked why we need the veggies and I used this as an opportunity to get her to eat her veggies so I told her if she wanted to grow up at all she needs to eat lots of veggies. This kid has requested cucumbers or carrots or bell peppers or any crunchy kinda veggie as her snack since then. It's pretty awesome...

    But now I can't enjoy a bag of chips at home any more. She'll walk in shake her head and tell me to go easy "because you're done growing UP, so you can only grow out..."

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    #10

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My teenage son was staying up super late on his laptop doing teenage internet things (porn & gaming I assume) and f***ing up in school, so we put parental controls on the router so that the internet would be turned off from 11 pm to 7 am.

    This of course impacted my wife and I, because we lost internet access during those hours too. Grumble grumble damn kids, etc.

    Anyway, he was way more tech-savvy than we were, so he was able to bypass the parental controls, and stay on-line as late as he wanted. So the end result of the parental controls was that the parents didn't have internet, but the teenager did.

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    #11

    My son was playing with deodorant and a lighter and almost set himself on fire. I made him write out "I must not play with aerosols" one hundred times. He wrote "I must not play with arseholes" one hundred times. It is now framed and hanging on the wall.

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    Bacony Cakes
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *trump turns into dust as he is no longer allowed to be played with*

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    #12

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results I read a book that suggested you ask your kid what an appropriate punishment for misbehaving would be and then carry it out. My 6-year-old son pinched his brother, so we asked him what an appropriate punishment would be. He said, 'Pluck out my eyeballs and throw me over a cliff.' We didn't carry it out.

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    #13

    My 8 year old was spending too much time playing video games. I asked him to research the harmful results of too much time gaming. He came back with his report stating he needed “gaming glasses” and a “gaming chair.”

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    #14

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results Sucessfuly taught my child to question authority. Forgot I was an authority.

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    #15

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My sister tried to teach her kids not to gamble, so she bought a few lottery tickets to show them that they were all going to be losers. She won $500.

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    SoozeeQ
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only gamble what you can afford to lose! (I once bought a QuickPick and won $25.40. I was hoping for the jackpot of $12 million, but still, the win covered the cost of the ticket and then some).

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    #16

    Told my children repeatedly that if I found anymore mess/junk on their bedroom floor, I would be donating it to the thrift store. I told them they had 15 minutes to clean it up off the floor.

    Came back to find everything picked up, except they went into the kitchen cupboards and had put every food they didn't like in a nice neat pile right in the middle of the floor.

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    #17

    I was trying to teach my 4 year old that it is important to go to sleep because our brains need to recharge. I compared it to my IPad needing to recharge after it dies.

    He said “okay...” and got really quiet. Then told me, “mom, I need to go to sleep.” I agreed with him, but asked why he was suddenly tired. He started crying and said “because I don’t want to die.”

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    #18

    Watching the World Cup Semi final this year with my 4 yo daughter, I was trying to teach her how we wanted the team in White to win (England), and not the team in Black (Croatia). We even chanted a couple of “C’mon England!” chants together.

    Newly enthused with a love for chanting, she suddenly started shouting;

    “CMON ENGLAND! BEAT THE BLACKS! WE HATE THE BLACKS! WE HATE THE BLACKS!”

    Quickly taught her the “We don’t say it like that” lesson.

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    #19

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My parents taught me to call 9-1-1 when I saw somebody doing something illegal. I called the cops on The Wiggles Movie I was watching when I was 5 because a clown stole a cake.

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    Astrid Nineor
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, some adults call 911 for nonsense stuff as well, so...

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    #20

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My wife tried to explain the concept of heaven to our 5 year old after great grandpa passed. My daughter did not believe one ounze of it. She responded "you're making that up mommy, you can't be in heaven and a cemetery at the same time".

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    #21

    Me and my wife started using code words in front of the children, mainly if we wanted to discuss plans without getting the kids too excited and getting their hopes up. For example we would say GP instead of play ground, cylindrical slice of cow place instead of McDonald's.

    They have cottoned on to this and now use code words amongst themselves which we're struggling to figure out.

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    SirPatTheCat
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    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once when I was probably about 6 my mom and her friend were talking about rice crispies and wanted to be discreet because there were a lot of excitable kids around. She tried to spell out “R-i-c-e c-r-i-s-p-i-e-s” because she didn’t want me to know, but underestimated my spelling skills and I proceeded to shout “RICE CRISPIES??!!” and started a riot xD

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    #22

    When I was like 16, my dad told me that I need to stop treating him and my mom like my friends because they're my parents. The very next day, before I got home from school, I had friend requests from both of my parents on Facebook. I denied them both. When my dad got home from work we had a conversation that went like this: Dad: Did you see that your mom made a Facebook account? Me: Yes, I did. Dad: Well, did you accept her friend request? Me: No, I didn't. Dad: Why not? Me: Because, just yesterday you told me you're my parents, not my friends. By the way, I also denied your friend request.

    My dad just looked at me, looked at my mom who was almost in shock over my response, and said, "He's not wrong. I said that."

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    niki.bordeaux
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't understand why a parent would say that to their kids.

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    #23

    Not me but my aunt - she was trying to teach my young cousins that spiders are leggy friends and nothing to be scared of. She demonstrated this by bringing them all into the bathroom to witness a huge wolf spider.

    "You see, it's so much more scared of us than we are of AAAAARGGGGHHH!"

    It bit her. Of course it bit her. She flung it high into the air, screaming blue murder, whilst her newly traumatised offspring screamed a falsetto counterpoint.

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    #24

    My aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousins to address adults as 'Mr.' and 'Mrs.' In order to do this, they used each other as examples, and consequently were known to their kids as Mr. and Mrs. Iannuccilli for two months. One of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of hearing ‘Dad’ he started hearing, ‘Mr Iannuccilli!’ Cracks me up every time.

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    JuJu
    JuJu
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 10yo decided one day to call his gandparents by their first names, because "we know each other long enough now".

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    #25

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results Not a parent, but when I was little I noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls with crayon. Taking on the role of Helpful Big Sister, I informed her that if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn't write her name and give herself away. A few weeks later she carved patterns — and MY name — into the desk in the study.

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    kasaalex avatar
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother did this, my name is still carved on the kitchen table

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    #26

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results Not a parent but when I was around 12, my father suspected that I stayed up late playing videogames, even though I didn't. One night he went into my room and told me that I shouldn't play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, because I needed to rest. That's when I realized I could play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, and I've suffered from insomnia since then.

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    WilvanderHeijden
    WilvanderHeijden
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never warn a child to NOT do something, because you are teaching them that it is actually something you CAN do. "Don't drop the glass" or "Don't slam the door" and guess what will happen.

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    #27

    When my son was about 3 or 4 he started to ask about how babies are born. I sat him down and gave him a very simple, age appropriate explanation.

    He just looked at me, shook his head and said just said 'No.' Very calmly but in a 'I can't believe you think that's how it works' tone of voice like I'd told him fake news.

    I was prepared for difficult questions and even prepared for the fact that he might ask me things that even I didn't know, but I was completely unprepared for him to just simply not believe me when I told him the truth. I just sat there not knowing what to do while he went back to playing lego.

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    SoozeeQ
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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have asked him, how he thought they were made, then!

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    #28

    40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results One of my 5-year-old twins was still having accidents because she'd get so caught up doing things that she'd pee her pants. To combat this, we began giving her a prize when she didn't have an accident. This caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes too.

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    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of that moment when someone tried to potty train their goats by luring them to the designated spot with treats, but then every the goats saw their owner... They'd just pee.

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    #29

    As the kid and not the dad...When I was 11 my father caught me smoking. As a punishment he made me finish the whole pack.

    I hated my first cigarette and had no intention of ever smoking again. But after smoking that pack I would try to hang out with the older kids and smoke with them because after all, my punishment wasnt as bad as the usual whoopin' and they found me funny to have around.

    I smoked until I was 37 or so. Yeah, my dad was an idiot.

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    #30

    My nephew mispronounced the name of a certain kitchen appliance, so my sister broke it into syllables very distinctly for him, saying "it's mi-cro-wave."

    My nephew nodded very seriously and replied "It's your crow wave!"

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    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol reminds me when I was little, me and my family were going to Miami on holiday. I asked my mum what's an ami, do I have one, what's her Ami's name etc. 😁

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    #31

    I taught them to stand up for what they believe in....
    All of a sudden they believed veggies were the devil and bedtimes should be abolished.

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    #32

    I wasn't trying to teach him but I was asking my three year old what the colors of traffic lights mean. Green means go, Red means stop and Yellow means speed up. From his experience I guess that made sense also made me more aware of how I'm driving.

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    #33

    I tried to teach my kids to be content within themselves and how to be alone. Full success, they rarely ever go out. 22 and 24. They are so mellow that they don't tell us when something goes wrong since they were middle schoolers.

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