Join the Fun!

As good people, we taught our kids that littering isn't nice. As humans, we also let some curse words fly in front of them.

We were at our city's 4th of July celebration when the oldest was 4. We were walking around and someone tossed their trash on the ground. Captain Litterbug flew into action, picked up the trash and yelled, "Hey a**hole, you dropped this," while tapping them on the butt.

pedantic_dullard Report

Final score:

454points

POST

Canadian in Cornwall 4 years ago

this made me laugh out loud!

340points

When my daughter was young I was trying to teach her the value of money and decided to start giving her an allowance. I explained that because she helped out and did her chores, she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted. She happily accepted and stashed her money in her room, Later that evening before I tucked her in to bed, she goes to her money jar, pulls out 2$ and hands it to me, and explains that it's for being a good daddy.

Tsquaredp Report

Final score:

451points

POST

Astrid Nineor 4 years ago

Awwwwww

389points

“Communication is an area I have a lot of experience in, working in government communications for a living. Even with that experience, communicating with my kids is a challenge!” Samantha from ‘Walking Outside in Slippers’ told us that even being a professional such as herself doesn’t automatically make things easy.

According to Samantha, her kids are very intense and high energy, so they need lots of validation. Now that’s something that quite a few parents can relate to! This means that some kids might need feedback from their parents all the time (which can be exhausting during lockdown) while other children might be more likely to ignore any life lessons being taught to them because they’re constantly on the move.

At dinner with fam. Starting a swear jar that we all agree the money will go to help animals at the local shelter. Got all the rules down with the kids and they are excited to start. Daughter (8) says "Well s**t im gona help the animals i'll be right back!" before wife and i can even process what she got away with our son (6) blurts out "F**k yeah me too!" both running to get money from their rooms...

LeeKinanus Report

Final score:

439points

POST

troufaki13 4 years ago

Don't mess with children logic!! :D

349points

lurklurklurkUPVOTE Report

My parents told my sister if she found a horse for free, she could have it. She was an industrious 8 yr old and found a free lease in the paper. She managed to call and sound adult enough to truck the barn into thinking this was a great idea. A trailer pulled up a few days later and unloaded a horse in the yard. Shocked the hell out of mom. And that started 20 years of horse ownership.

Final score:

398points

POST

JiminKimLip7 4 years ago

HOW?!

82points

The_Perfect_Dick_Pic Report

My friend’s 10 year-old daughter was going over to a friend’s house in the same apartment complex, but a few buildings away.

Mom: “Ok, what do we do if someone tries to grab you?”

Daughter: “Kick him in the balls and yell ‘FIRE’!”

Mom: “Ha, right, but that’s not a good word, it’s ‘testicles’.”

Daughter: “Ok, kick him in the balls and yell ‘TESTICLES’!”

Mom: “You know...that might work too.”

Final score:

390points

POST

SoozeeQ 4 years ago

Priceless! (And saying "fire" is good too. If someone yells, "rape", chances are people won't want to get involved, but if they yell "fire" people will come from everywhere!)

271points

But the important thing is to breathe in, relax, and be patient. Even if our little munchkins can drive us insane sometimes, we’re the adults and we need to act all mature. And that means sacrificing some of our well-earned leisure time to give our kids the attention they need from us.

“Although kids constantly vying for our attention can be grating, I think it's important we put down our phones sometimes, look them in the eyes and say, ‘Tell me all about that cardboard robot you made.’ Kids want our undivided attention on occasion, and to hear how proud of them we are,” Samantha said.

Now that’s something all parents should take to heart. This might just make your kids more open to learning the lessons you want to teach them in the future! All that remains is hoping The Universe doesn’t find some way to prank parents again.

I was teaching my daughter that if she’s in any situation where anyone is doing something she doesn’t like, she tells them to stop. If they continue, use the palm of her hand and punch “up” on their nose.

My husband and his brother were throwing her back and forth in a pool, she kept asking them to stop, when her dad caught her again, boom. She broke his nose. Literally. There was blood everywhere.

MermaidsHaveWifi Report

Final score:

383points

POST

Martha Meyer 4 years ago

Well... guess that taught dad something about consent too.

623points

lenka 4 years ago

Good on her!! Parents that don't respect their children's reasonable requests are teaching their kid that they don't deserve to be respected - and this is especially the case between fathers and daughters. If the dad didn't respect his daughter enough to stop he deserved to get a blood nose.

108points

Tammy Rawdon 4 years ago

Especially between ANY parent and child, Lenka. (See Katrin's insightful post.)

3points

JuJu 4 years ago

Well, he had it coming.

68points

BusLady 4 years ago

You shouldn't tease kids like that. Sometimes they can be quite terrified.

67points

Louloubelle 4 years ago

As the youngest of 5, and with a pool, I can verify this can be terrifying. My dad, god bless him, would toss us around in the pool, usually gently, but sometimes when my siblings got involved, they thought it was fun to make me scream. And yes, I told them to stop. I would cry, then got called a "cry baby". Ah, the 60's.

60points

Josh Tall 4 years ago

No means no!

43points

Night Owl 4 years ago

Good

20points

Nora Miller 4 years ago

Good for her! Consent applies to parents as well. (in this instance!)

18points

Jane W. 4 years ago

Lesson learned, Dad.

12points

Todd Hollfelder 4 years ago

No means No!!

12points

M Kate McCulloch 4 years ago

Sometimes the jokes y'all are playing just aren't that funny... Says the woman with three older brothers...

9points

Theodore Theodora 4 years ago

Sounds like it worked just right.

9points

Mumof1 4 years ago

Hope dad learned his lesson - Stop means STOP!

8points

Sidney Sun 4 years ago

sign her up for karate lessons immediately

8points

Elaine Mattingly 4 years ago

We all took karate , it teaches how to protect yourself first by being aware, thinking ahead and using only when there is no other alternative. Stance alone is enough to make some realize they need to stop while they still can.

5points

IlovemydogShilo 4 years ago

Good for her.

7points

The Harry Potter person 3 years ago

My dad used to trap my torso between his legs in the water, then spin me and not let me come up for air. I was screaming, but he stopped when I passed out.

6points

TheAnimalLady 3 years ago

DAMN, some people just shouldn't be parents 😕 I'm so sorry that he did that to you. He probably gave you a lifelong fear of the water, didn't he? My "mom" gave me acrophobia with her abusive ways.

5points

Jaded Queen 4 years ago

I wish i did that.

6points

Joley Hidaka 4 years ago

Same thing. we taught her to kick balls to stop a man and she did that to dad in the pool when she wanted him to stop rough-housing...it worked!!

6points

Susan Climent 3 years ago

I’m glad she had the nerve to use that on her dad! He obviously doesn’t listen but now you know she will use it on anyone! Good job!

5points

Thalia Lovering 4 years ago (edited)

Good for her and shame on the dad for not stopping.

4points

Pamela Scott 3 years ago

Dad should have known what was about to happen and pretty much got what he asked for too!!!

3points

Ray Komplin 3 years ago (edited)

My grandpa would hold me tight, and I have bad asthma. My older sister would say I was a crybaby when I said that I couldn't breathe. Similarly, that sister (older, and at least a hundred thirty pounds every time) would sit on me when I wouldn't give up my seat even though there was an open seat right next to me. A bunch of family members had consent problems, these are just the most physically harming. I could definitely count times that gave me really bad issues.

3points

TheAnimalLady 3 years ago

Me too, I feel you 😪 Ray. You can pick your battles, pick your nose, pick your friends and pick your seat... but you can't pick your family 🥺.

2points

FroggyGirl 3 years ago

Did the same to my brother once. He was pushing me and pushing me closer to the edge of the porch, and I punched him in the face. BAM! Blood everywhere. I got in trouble tho.

2points

TheAnimalLady 3 years ago

Sorry you got in trouble, but did HE learn that lesson? I hope you don't let getting in trouble for sticking up for yourself stop you. I was bullied into being bullied my whole life by a "mother" who always believed the lying baby of the family.

2points

AlmightyOne 3 years ago

I will do that in the future

2points

Maanya Chandra 3 years ago

Uh... Well you should send her to karate!

2points

MaeRose 4 years ago

Well, at least you now know she has strong arms and can defend herself.

2points

Jan Feline 3 years ago

Since I've seen this a lot, let me clarify - you CANNOT kill someone with a punch to the nose. The nose is cartilage. If you still believe this common myth, watch some boxing matches, and see how many boxers die from a nose shot.

1point

Fred Bigox 3 years ago

Well not quite everywhere but a lot of blood

1point

deathmetalpegasus12 3 years ago

criiiinge but then laughter

1point

Latorria Phillips 3 years ago

she must be strong

1point

#1touchofNature= Worldkin 3 years ago

Buy her a pair of water proof boxing gloves

1point

Norah LeVar 4 years ago

yes!:)

1point

Faith Nicole 4 years ago

Oh dam

1point

Carolina Shapiro-Roman 4 years ago

oh no

1point

Joyce Deering 4 years ago

Ya'll are killin' me here!

1point

Patty Leaton 4 years ago

don't mess with her

1point

ANNIKAH MARTINEZ 4 years ago

wow...she do be gansta

1point

oddkiddo 4 years ago

Good girl! <3

1point

Ashley Wright 4 years ago

🤣🤣🤣

1point

Janice Best 4 years ago

Good!

1point

Anna Tribe 2 years ago

My grandkids love being tickled but they know when they have enough and say stop to me and so I stop. I don't understand parents or grandparents who don't understand that children have the right over their own body and should understand that no means no.

0points

Beatrice Multhaupt 3 years ago

I should have done that with my six-foot-four boyfriend decades ago.

0points

sharron lynn parsons 3 years ago

I like that lesson !!!

0points

B Hobbit 3 years ago

May we all see a day when little girls no longer have to defend themselves against being overpowered by boys and men. May all boys and men learn self-restraint.

0points

Sonya king 3 years ago

yeah....okay....i dont see the proublem ???? she ask'd them 2 stOp, right........but realistically... she can't go around breaking kids noses if they're calling her names... you need to express the fact that it's probably more on the mind of a physical altercation if someone is physically touching her....

0points

Mila's Story 3 years ago

😮😮😮😮😮😮

0points

LittlemissUwU 3 years ago

xD i cant stop laughing

0points

Dog Fan For Life 3 years ago

She...wow. That must have been...at least you now know that she knows how to do it VERY well!

0points

Lelia Smith 3 years ago

wow.

0points

Henry Russell 3 years ago

great boxer when she will me older

0points

Isabella Rowe 3 years ago

HELL YA

0points

Dooberman 3 years ago

Lol

0points

Caden Quinn 3 years ago

Here we see a bad a** walking away from the seen of the crime.

0points

BetaWooperRevenge 3 years ago

why would a dad do that?

0points

Vera Paradiso 3 years ago

*sign*

0points

DemstarAus 4 years ago

Maybe add that "something you don't like" doesn't mean "dude one subway singing to his own music" because that's just straight up assault to break peoples noses. Self defense mayhaps?

0points

Sharon Collier 4 years ago

That can also kill someone if the bone goes up into the brain.

0points

Isle_of_stressed_pilots 4 years ago

It's really rare for that to happen (almost impossible). Since the nose is mainly made of cartilage, it's pretty much impossible for fragments of cartilage to find a passage to the brain.

7points

SEBASTIAN ALDANA 3 years ago

well blame the mom

-2points

Bob Belcher 4 years ago

You can kill someone doing that

-3points

Ana Vaquer Perez 4 years ago

Very rare

2points

Scorpion (Hanzo Hasashi) 3 years ago

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Magi Salien HXH 3 years ago

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Arctic Fox Lover 3 years ago

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Payton Weigand 4 years ago

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Marshmellow fan 4 years ago

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Imtiredandiwannagotobed 3 years ago

That’s the problem, she couldn’t do that, she did everything right, told them to stop, repeated herself, then went into self defend mode, sure, it was a bit over the top, but that was what she knew to do, and she did it. Good on her for not letting herself be pushed around.

4points

Kennedy Longworth 4 years ago

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TheAnimalLady 3 years ago

Are You Serious?!? He's abusing his child!!! 1) You need to re-read this post and the accompanying comments so you can learn how this "playful" abuse can give people lifelong phobias and trust issues. Maybe you should research at PsychologyToday.com and learn some empathy for the victims instead of the abusers. 2) Think about how your actions affect others. We come here to distract ourselves... DON'T POST PICTURES OF MASKS!!! It's thoughtless and just reminds people unnecessarily.

0points

Chip_Boy 4 years ago

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GAIL MCGEE 4 years ago

Sounds to me like she was unable to leave the area and that is why she had to do that. She's a CHILD. What happens if the next time (God forbid) it's someone trying to touch her inappropriately? That would definitely get them to stop. Trying to just "leave the area" may not always be an option. Telling a little girl not to do that to family members is also a bad idea. If an uncle (for example) decides to touch her, etc., again, she may not be able to just leave, but breaking his nose would make him stop AND get the attention of others who know she'd only do that in certain situations. Bravo to Mom and daughter!

11points

bern Habubbi 4 years ago

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Isle_of_stressed_pilots 4 years ago

i-.... How is that trying to kill them. You just break their nose. Thats it.

2points

Allison Cox 3 years ago

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bern Habubbi 4 years ago

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MammaG 4 years ago

Why shouldn't she be able to defend herself?

8points

Kim 4 years ago

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lenka 4 years ago

What is highly inappropriate is that we live in a world where men think they have the right to touch women without without their consent and that we HAVE to teach our daughters how to protect themselves.

12points

Niffler_13 4 years ago

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lenka 4 years ago

No.Then its called self defence.

20points

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results When I was little my family was at an Angels game. My mother went to the restroom and left me with my dad. I wandered off and was eventually found halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arms length while I screamed, 'Call the police! This man is not my daddy!' My parents had taught me stranger danger, but forgotten to teach me what police looked like.

ghode , Kevin Coles Report

Final score:

358points

POST

citcat 4 years ago

Smart(ish) kid.

282points

When my daughter was about 5 she asked why we need rain. I explained to her that we need to it grow the food we all eat that are plants. She asked why we need the veggies and I used this as an opportunity to get her to eat her veggies so I told her if she wanted to grow up at all she needs to eat lots of veggies. This kid has requested cucumbers or carrots or bell peppers or any crunchy kinda veggie as her snack since then. It's pretty awesome...

But now I can't enjoy a bag of chips at home any more. She'll walk in shake her head and tell me to go easy "because you're done growing UP, so you can only grow out..."

ExtraLucky13 Report

Final score:

326points

POST

Canadian in Cornwall 4 years ago

smart kid you've got there !

232points

#10

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My teenage son was staying up super late on his laptop doing teenage internet things (porn & gaming I assume) and f***ing up in school, so we put parental controls on the router so that the internet would be turned off from 11 pm to 7 am.

This of course impacted my wife and I, because we lost internet access during those hours too. Grumble grumble damn kids, etc.

Anyway, he was way more tech-savvy than we were, so he was able to bypass the parental controls, and stay on-line as late as he wanted. So the end result of the parental controls was that the parents didn't have internet, but the teenager did.

paul99501 , torontoobserver.ca Report

Final score:

260points

POST

Martha Meyer 4 years ago

There is such a thing as unplugging cables....

328points

#11

My son was playing with deodorant and a lighter and almost set himself on fire. I made him write out "I must not play with aerosols" one hundred times. He wrote "I must not play with arseholes" one hundred times. It is now framed and hanging on the wall.

neonknight80 Report

Final score:

247points

POST

Bacony Cakes 4 years ago

*trump turns into dust as he is no longer allowed to be played with*

12points

#12

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results I read a book that suggested you ask your kid what an appropriate punishment for misbehaving would be and then carry it out. My 6-year-old son pinched his brother, so we asked him what an appropriate punishment would be. He said, 'Pluck out my eyeballs and throw me over a cliff.' We didn't carry it out.

Mungobrick , youtube.com Report

Final score:

246points

POST

S. 4 years ago

How eyeronic.

315points

#13

My 8 year old was spending too much time playing video games. I asked him to research the harmful results of too much time gaming. He came back with his report stating he needed “gaming glasses” and a “gaming chair.”

IndianaHones Report

Final score:

243points

POST

Aria 4 years ago

😂

157points

#14

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results Sucessfuly taught my child to question authority. Forgot I was an authority.

AkumaBengoshi , Andy Michael Report

Final score:

242points

POST

ML 4 years ago

Not any more

179points

#15

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My sister tried to teach her kids not to gamble, so she bought a few lottery tickets to show them that they were all going to be losers. She won $500.

RedditPoster05 , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

236points

POST

SoozeeQ 4 years ago

Only gamble what you can afford to lose! (I once bought a QuickPick and won $25.40. I was hoping for the jackpot of $12 million, but still, the win covered the cost of the ticket and then some).

159points

#16

Told my children repeatedly that if I found anymore mess/junk on their bedroom floor, I would be donating it to the thrift store. I told them they had 15 minutes to clean it up off the floor.

Came back to find everything picked up, except they went into the kitchen cupboards and had put every food they didn't like in a nice neat pile right in the middle of the floor.

mollymuppet78 Report

Final score:

235points

POST

Dorothy Parker 4 years ago

Brilliant!

191points

#17

I was trying to teach my 4 year old that it is important to go to sleep because our brains need to recharge. I compared it to my IPad needing to recharge after it dies.

He said “okay...” and got really quiet. Then told me, “mom, I need to go to sleep.” I agreed with him, but asked why he was suddenly tired. He started crying and said “because I don’t want to die.”

mnmacaro Report

Final score:

235points

POST

Aeon Flux 4 years ago

Sleep deprivation really can kill you.

96points

#18

Watching the World Cup Semi final this year with my 4 yo daughter, I was trying to teach her how we wanted the team in White to win (England), and not the team in Black (Croatia). We even chanted a couple of “C’mon England!” chants together.

Newly enthused with a love for chanting, she suddenly started shouting;

“CMON ENGLAND! BEAT THE BLACKS! WE HATE THE BLACKS! WE HATE THE BLACKS!”

Quickly taught her the “We don’t say it like that” lesson.

Annoyed_Rhino Report

Final score:

231points

POST

Fin Diffenderfer 4 years ago

Oh, dear...

200points

#19

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My parents taught me to call 9-1-1 when I saw somebody doing something illegal. I called the cops on The Wiggles Movie I was watching when I was 5 because a clown stole a cake.

Turtelbob , Jarrett Campbell Report

Final score:

224points

POST

Astrid Nineor 4 years ago

Well, some adults call 911 for nonsense stuff as well, so...

223points

#20

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My wife tried to explain the concept of heaven to our 5 year old after great grandpa passed. My daughter did not believe one ounze of it. She responded "you're making that up mommy, you can't be in heaven and a cemetery at the same time".

foh242 , photogramma1 Report

Final score:

224points

POST

Martha Meyer 4 years ago

Smart kid!

149points

#21

Me and my wife started using code words in front of the children, mainly if we wanted to discuss plans without getting the kids too excited and getting their hopes up. For example we would say GP instead of play ground, cylindrical slice of cow place instead of McDonald's.

They have cottoned on to this and now use code words amongst themselves which we're struggling to figure out.

TheSameButBetter Report

Final score:

220points

POST

SirPatTheCat 4 years ago (edited)

Once when I was probably about 6 my mom and her friend were talking about rice crispies and wanted to be discreet because there were a lot of excitable kids around. She tried to spell out “R-i-c-e c-r-i-s-p-i-e-s” because she didn’t want me to know, but underestimated my spelling skills and I proceeded to shout “RICE CRISPIES??!!” and started a riot xD

93points

#22

When I was like 16, my dad told me that I need to stop treating him and my mom like my friends because they're my parents. The very next day, before I got home from school, I had friend requests from both of my parents on Facebook. I denied them both. When my dad got home from work we had a conversation that went like this: Dad: Did you see that your mom made a Facebook account? Me: Yes, I did. Dad: Well, did you accept her friend request? Me: No, I didn't. Dad: Why not? Me: Because, just yesterday you told me you're my parents, not my friends. By the way, I also denied your friend request.

My dad just looked at me, looked at my mom who was almost in shock over my response, and said, "He's not wrong. I said that."

DrunkenWalrus41 Report

Final score:

211points

POST

niki.bordeaux 4 years ago

I can't understand why a parent would say that to their kids.

100points

#23

Not me but my aunt - she was trying to teach my young cousins that spiders are leggy friends and nothing to be scared of. She demonstrated this by bringing them all into the bathroom to witness a huge wolf spider.

"You see, it's so much more scared of us than we are of AAAAARGGGGHHH!"

It bit her. Of course it bit her. She flung it high into the air, screaming blue murder, whilst her newly traumatised offspring screamed a falsetto counterpoint.

Septoria Report

Final score:

204points

POST

Fin Diffenderfer 4 years ago

Blue murder...? That's a new one-

157points

#24

My aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousins to address adults as 'Mr.' and 'Mrs.' In order to do this, they used each other as examples, and consequently were known to their kids as Mr. and Mrs. Iannuccilli for two months. One of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of hearing ‘Dad’ he started hearing, ‘Mr Iannuccilli!’ Cracks me up every time.

AphrodesiacBirds Report

Final score:

201points

POST

JuJu 4 years ago

My 10yo decided one day to call his gandparents by their first names, because "we know each other long enough now".

260points

#25

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results Not a parent, but when I was little I noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls with crayon. Taking on the role of Helpful Big Sister, I informed her that if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn't write her name and give herself away. A few weeks later she carved patterns — and MY name — into the desk in the study.

frozennie , jefftk.com Report

Final score:

195points

POST

kasa alex 4 years ago

My brother did this, my name is still carved on the kitchen table

132points

#26

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results Not a parent but when I was around 12, my father suspected that I stayed up late playing videogames, even though I didn't. One night he went into my room and told me that I shouldn't play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, because I needed to rest. That's when I realized I could play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, and I've suffered from insomnia since then.

Monfo , Dark Dwarf Report

Final score:

175points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

Never warn a child to NOT do something, because you are teaching them that it is actually something you CAN do. "Don't drop the glass" or "Don't slam the door" and guess what will happen.

181points

#27

When my son was about 3 or 4 he started to ask about how babies are born. I sat him down and gave him a very simple, age appropriate explanation.

He just looked at me, shook his head and said just said 'No.' Very calmly but in a 'I can't believe you think that's how it works' tone of voice like I'd told him fake news.

I was prepared for difficult questions and even prepared for the fact that he might ask me things that even I didn't know, but I was completely unprepared for him to just simply not believe me when I told him the truth. I just sat there not knowing what to do while he went back to playing lego.

Waitingforadragon Report

Final score:

161points

POST

SoozeeQ 4 years ago

I would have asked him, how he thought they were made, then!

181points

#28

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results One of my 5-year-old twins was still having accidents because she'd get so caught up doing things that she'd pee her pants. To combat this, we began giving her a prize when she didn't have an accident. This caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes too.

KyleRichXV , unknown Report

Final score:

159points

POST

S. 4 years ago (edited)

Reminds me of that moment when someone tried to potty train their goats by luring them to the designated spot with treats, but then every the goats saw their owner... They'd just pee.

169points

#29

As the kid and not the dad...When I was 11 my father caught me smoking. As a punishment he made me finish the whole pack.

I hated my first cigarette and had no intention of ever smoking again. But after smoking that pack I would try to hang out with the older kids and smoke with them because after all, my punishment wasnt as bad as the usual whoopin' and they found me funny to have around.

I smoked until I was 37 or so. Yeah, my dad was an idiot.

Kinkzor Report

Final score:

158points

POST

The Pansexual MELONLORD 4 years ago

That's... terrible parenting

61points

#30

My nephew mispronounced the name of a certain kitchen appliance, so my sister broke it into syllables very distinctly for him, saying "it's mi-cro-wave."

My nephew nodded very seriously and replied "It's your crow wave!"

anoem Report

Final score:

158points

POST

Binxyminxem 4 years ago

Lol reminds me when I was little, me and my family were going to Miami on holiday. I asked my mum what's an ami, do I have one, what's her Ami's name etc. 😁

125points

#31

I taught them to stand up for what they believe in....
All of a sudden they believed veggies were the devil and bedtimes should be abolished.

Penya23 Report

Final score:

156points

POST

Zophra 4 years ago

...just squash.

78points

#32

I wasn't trying to teach him but I was asking my three year old what the colors of traffic lights mean. Green means go, Red means stop and Yellow means speed up. From his experience I guess that made sense also made me more aware of how I'm driving.

Lazydust3 Report

Final score:

142points

POST

Shelp 4 years ago

Haha you shouldn't brag about that!

11points

#33

I tried to teach my kids to be content within themselves and how to be alone. Full success, they rarely ever go out. 22 and 24. They are so mellow that they don't tell us when something goes wrong since they were middle schoolers.

Tess47 Report

Final score:

116points

POST

Julius Martin 4 years ago

ummm and this is a good thing?

75points

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#34

Taught my four year old that you're not allowed to say that a food is gross if you haven't tried it. Apparently I'm not allowed to criticise her booger eating until I try it.

fruitjerky Report

Final score:

42points

POST

Dorothy Parker 4 years ago

Substitute with a Harry Potter jelly beans...Bertie Botts? They have that flavor.

29points

#35

My dad tried to teach us to keep our rooms clean - you know, “not a thing on the floor”. He would even come in and do a walk-through to see if it was up to snuff. So I’m 5, and he was already pretty irritated with me and the state of my room. I cleaned it to the best of my ability and called him in. I was crying and he asked why on earth I was so upset. “I can’t clean my room all the way!” “What do you mean...? Your room is fine now.” “I tried to lift my bed off the floor but I’m not big enough!”

kate3544 Report

Final score:

42points

POST

LOGAN HUNTER 4 years ago

when the top comment is -1

15points

#36

We've been working with our 2 year old on holding hands when we cross the street or walking through a parking lot. After a couple weeks he tried holding his own hands. I have to give him credit since I never specified who's hand he had to hold.

mayonays Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Shelp 4 years ago

Running away is difficult anyway while holding its own hands. Makes you slower and clumsier

21points

#37

My DARE program told me cigarettes were a drug. So I told everyone on my little league baseball team that my dad does drugs.

MightBeDementia Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Niffler_13 4 years ago

More kids have started doing drugs because of the DARE program, because it introduces many of them to substances they had no clue about before.

5points

#38

My mother told me at a very young age "If you have a child I won't help you at all. You and your baby mother will have to be grown since you want to do grown up stuff." Now I am 28 no kids and don't plan on having any and my mom is pissed because she won't have any grandchildren and she "NEEDS" to be a grandma according to her logic.

JackOfAllAids Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Aria 4 years ago

That’s kinda sad tbh

34points

#39

Taught my 2nd grade daughter the tiniest bit of boxing so she wouldn't be defenseless on the schoolyard. She spent 3rd grade sending the boys home with broken noses.

joneSee Report

Final score:

37points

POST

BusLady 4 years ago

Good preparation for her teen years and beyond.

34points

#40

Do well in school so you can go to college and get a good job. Then she asked why she needed to go to college to get a job when that is what I did and I hated my job.

hugomuggins Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Niffler_13 4 years ago

Encourage your kids to go into trades. Not everyone needs a college degree to get a good job. My cousins in trades make way more than I do and don't have any college loans. I regret going to college.

3points

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9mebpv/parents_of_reddit_what_lessons_have_to_tried_to/e7et7xv/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Report

#41

I told my 7 year old if he didn't clean his room I'd donate his stuff. He then helped me bag it all up and said "if I don't have any stuff, I don't need to clean my room!"

Final score:

35points

POST

Martha Meyer 4 years ago

A minimalist in the making!

37points

#42

Not a parent, but my in-laws love telling this story about my fiance.

He was resistant to potty training, and they eventually got him to start using the potty by telling him that he had to be out of pull-ups before a family trip to Disney World, because "Mickey Mouse only sees big boys and girls." And also who wants to log a diaper bag around Disney?

The day after they got back from the trip, he took a s**t in the living room. When asked, he said "I don't gotta use the potty cause I already saw Mickey Mouse." They very firmly told him that if he was old enough to use logic, he was far too old for diapers, and that was the end of that.

thatsunshinegal Report

Final score:

34points

POST

FurryPotatoCat 4 years ago (edited)

hair color has nothing to do with intelligence @Mike Hansen

6points

PM_BiscuitsAndGravy Report

#43

I always tell my children that the lottery is a tax on people that are bad at math. I let my 8 year old spend a few hard earned dollars on a powerball ticket to prove it and he won $100.

Final score:

34points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

Lottery is also a gambling game and sometimes it works out right for you.

20points

#44

Told my children they should always have a good reason for what they want to do as a way to curb impulsive behavior.

Am hearing about ALL THE REASONS constantly.

Shanisasha Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Midget 4 years ago

lol this system would be very strange in my house, seeing as we all have ADHD other than my mother

15points

drinkmoreshowerbeer , Fernando Mafra Report

#45

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My parents did the thing where they gave 4-year-old me a sip of beer thinking I'd say it was yucky and they could turn it into some lesson about not drinking what Mommy and Daddy drink. Instead, I took a sip and said, 'Mmm! Can I have one?' The lesson that beer is good has lasted to adulthood.

Final score:

33points

POST

Bacony Cakes 4 years ago

Name says it all.

15points

#46

My son is nearly two. We've taught him "don't touch" for certain items that can't be baby proofed (a floor lamp/the fireplace's glass door/low windows).

He completely understands that "don't touch" means do not put any part of your body on this thing. No hands, no feet, dont lean against it.

So now we have to watch him like a hawk because throwing a toy car at the glass isnt "touching". Neither is whacking a window with a clothes hanger. Or shoving an end table into the lamp super hard.

Anonymous Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Just JoLynn 4 years ago

So you have the capacity to teach your child not to touch but don't have the capacity to teach them not to try and break stuff? Seems reasonable.

5points

#47

I taught them about democracy. Now everything’s a vote and when they don’t get their way they call me a dictator.

MischiefDame Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Melanie King 4 years ago

I tried this so many times with my sister. My parets just said that their votes counte double because theyre grown ups

1point

#48

My friend got a book for her kids about people from different races and cultures, designed to show the world is full of more than just white people.

Which was fine, untill one day in a supermarket, when her daughter, pointing at someone down the aisle, said "look mummy, a black man".

limeblast Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Christian Bradshaw 4 years ago

That's not as bad as what I did. When I was really little, I asked a black man why "he was all chocolatey". THANKFULLY he was very nice. He sat me down and explained to me about races and people of different color. My parents still make fun of the chocolatey comment to this day

40points

#49

My sister taught her daughters the biblical concept of “the last shall be first and the first shall be last”.

One evening her eldest daughter let her siblings go first and she waited patiently. Which only seems sweet. After going last she announced smugly, “I’m last which means I’m actually first.”

She’s going to be nicest mean girl ever.

loverink Report

Final score:

32points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

"Last shall be first and the first shall be last" is just a doctrine to keep poor people poor and rich people rich. "Yeah I know life sucks when you can't feed your family and you have to live in a rat infested house. Just remember that all those rich people who are now living a dreamlife won't be doing so good when they are dead, because it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."

16points

#50

told my kids to stand up for each other, because they will always have each other. I hopefully will be gone (and their dad as well) before they are, and they will at least have each other

Now, when I'm in an argument with one of them, the other one defends them, AGAINST ME!

katjoy63 Report

Final score:

32points

POST

S. 4 years ago

Heh, my sisters and I also have this kind of relationships, and we always have one other's backs! 😂❤

28points

#51

I followed the offer your kids two appropriate choices advice- like “do you want broccoli or carrots with dinner.” My children quickly learned to just say things like “no, I’d like a candy bar or a cookie. Your choice.” Right back at me.

fiddlemonkey Report

Final score:

31points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

Carrots, candy and cookie all start with C, so it's Broccoli for dinner.

3points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#52

Trying to get my kid to finish her dinner:
Me: "Some kids in Africa don't even get to have a meal at dinner."
Her: "Okay. That's great. Go ahead and send this to them then."

getnakedwingz Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Canadian in Cornwall 4 years ago

Ha ha ! Exact conversation I had with my mom at about 6, she was NOT impressed with my back-chat, that's for sure !!

25points

#53

My sister in law has a 4yr old daughter who was asking mom tons of questions about her own vagina so mom taught her all the different parts. Two days later while in the grocery store, the daughter starts screaming at the top of her lungs, "LAAAAAAABIA, I HAVE LABIA!!!!"

trowayit Report

Final score:

30points

POST

Dorothy Parker 4 years ago

Like the son of a gynecologist in Kindergarten Cop.

19points

#54

Saw a clip on local news about a toddler saving her mom's life by calling 911 when she collapsed. Figured it was a good idea to teach my toddler 911. Had two cops at my door 5 minutes later.

relevant_tangent Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Tammy Rawdon 3 years ago

@SarcasticPanda: BELIEVE IT! My daughter did this after my cousin, a 911 operator (USA) told our whole family to just call 911 & ask for her. (We'd been complaining that we could never reach her at home.) My 3yr old chose to call her while I was busy cooking dinner. When a stranger answered, she was shy & hung up. Since the ringer was turned off (I forgot to turn it back on after her nap) when they called back to check, they showed up on high alert. It was crazy scary. It took forever to get her use phone after that. Cousin Karlee's very stupid 😒 (& a B!t[h) to this day.

3points

#55

That playing carnival/fair games is a waste of money. My son wanted to spend his $20 to win a Pikachu stuffed animal from his allowance that he saved up. WE told him he would be wasting his money and he would not win. He spent $15.00 and won the biggest prize.

adonisgq1 Report

Final score:

29points

POST

SoozeeQ 4 years ago

It seems he's already learned the principle of "only gamble what you can afford to lose".

19points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#56

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results Taught my toddler how to go up stairs, but I didn't realize that going down stairs was, in fact, a completely different and far more dangerous skill. Lucky for us, the kid seems to have finally grasped the finer points of head protection.

Nash_Rambler , Richard Leeming Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Martha Meyer 4 years ago

Kids are made of rubber anyway!

20points

#57

I tried to explain to my daughter, who was maybe 4-5 at the time that she needs to brush her teeth regularly or they'll fall out. She said she'll wait until her grown up teeth come in and brush those. I mean.. She's not wrong but still.

Turboedtwo Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Just JoLynn 4 years ago (edited)

Just tell her needs to learn how to do it now on her "practice teeth."

33points

#58

Told my kid to walk away from the urge to get angry at his class mates when they hurt or upset him for whatever reason (he’s 6). Got a call today that he’s walked out of PE and into the adjacent orchard connected to their school to cool off for a bit and they couldn’t coax him back in at first.

rb6k Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Shelp 4 years ago

Maybe the problem by this one was the school not paying enough attention to fleeing children?

29points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#59

40 Times Parents Taught Their Kids Lessons But It Got Them Unexpected Results My nephew hated smiling, so in pictures my dad would tell him to say 'whiskey.' When he tried saying 'cheese' it wasn't the same. Anyway, at school the principal was taking a picture of the class and told everyone to say 'cheeeeese!' My nephew shouted, 'WHISKEEEY!'

anon_2326411 , bramhamprimary.co.uk Report

Final score:

27points

POST

BusLady 4 years ago

I bet that made everybody smile.

11points

Dee_is_a_dumb_bird Report

#60

Not a parent, but the kid. I used to go to work with my dad during seasonal breaks for school. We were coming home one day. I said "how come there's a cop on that bridge?", and he immediately slows down and says "whew, you just saved me a speeding ticket... good eye"

We made a quick stop to Toys'R'Us and he got me a Lego set to reward me! Being the little s**t I was, I spent the rest of the week "spotting" officer's trying to catch people speeding and getting lego sets.

Final score:

26points

POST

Pandasanne 4 years ago

Sorry, but this is really bad parenting :(

20points

#61

My daughter ran down the stairs so I sent her back up so she could walk down them properly. She promptly fell down the entire flight.

mustard_fox Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Cami 4 years ago

welp

20points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#62

My brother and I would always fight and my mom would try to stop us by saying that we did not hit in this family. Once when I was about five I was being crazy on the grocery store and my mom tapped my bottom and told me to stop. I looked at her horrified, hit her back and yelled “we do not hit on this family.”

jjawesomesauce Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Potato 4 years ago

When I was young I called petting a dog making love. My mom put an end to that fast.

8points

englishgirlamerican Report

#63

I told my five year old that just because someone else says something, it doesn’t make it right or true — you should do what you believe, and what feels right to you.

Cue me telling him to brush his teeth and go to bed, and getting a “that just doesn’t feel right to me in my heart.”

ribs24-7 Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago

Mulan wannabe! Lol

10points

#64

Dad after having a long conversation about teaching my sister to say 'pardon' instead of 'what'...

My dad calling up the stairs: "What are you doing?"

Sister: *mumbles*

Dad: "WHAT?"

Sister yelling: "DON'T SAY WHAT SAY PARDON!!!"

Final score:

24points

POST

S. 4 years ago

What?

20points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#65

Talked to my kid about different beliefs concerning death, and one of them was reincarnation. Now he wants to dig up our dog who died last year to see if we can reanimate her.

stargazercmc Report

Final score:

24points

POST

yosemity sam 4 years ago

that's...not how it works

23points

#66

My dad used to teach me that if i really need to use the bathroom outside, then i could go in a bush. A little while later I was in the mall with the urge to go pee and i was seen watering the fake plants in the middle of the mall.

BP_God Report

Final score:

24points

POST

David Zhou 3 years ago

there is such thing as a bathroom

3points

#67

I tried to get my kids to eat their veg by charging them for all their waste food. Eg didn’t eat your carrots,that’ll be 10 p please. Three days in they were negotiating the price of leaving food before the meal was served.

Liverpoolsgreat Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Shelp 4 years ago

Just tell them from the beginning on that that's not negociable

6points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#68

I thought I was teaching them to remember that they were family and loved each other when I made them sit on a rug when they were little and hold hands until they stopped arguing. It worked beautifully. I found out now that they are adults that the reason it worked is because one of them hated holding hands and the other knew it - so he used it every time he wanted to win an argument.

chickaboomba Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Martha Meyer 4 years ago

Imagine your boss made you sit on a rug and hold the hands of a coworker you hate and just had an argument with.

18points

#69

I used to let my son have Five Alive juice boxes in his lunches because it's a small amount and at least it has vitamin C.

In the grocery store one day he starts asking for Kool Aid and I said no way because it's full of sugar. I pick up the Kool Aid and Five Alive to show him the nutritional data to prove my point... and discover that they have the same amount of vitamin C but the Kool-Aid has far less sugar.

Now he gets the Kool Aid.

onyxandcake Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Carrie Holste 4 years ago

5 Alive is not fruit juice. It's juice cocktail, which has added sugar.

11points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#70

I'm the aunt, but my niece had been taught that no one is allowed to force her into giving hugs, etc. It's her body, she has the right to say no.

Well, she tries to use that as an excuse to misbehave from time to time. Like one time, dad told her she couldn't play in a certain space with this huge toy cart because there wasn't enough room. She claimed her body has the right to be there if she says so. Her body. Her right. All three of us facepalmed that moment.

Erulastiel Report

Final score:

22points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

It's the same logic that people use to refuse to wear masks. "I don't care about the consequences for other people, my body, my constitutional right, my FREEDOM!!!"

14points

#71

My parents said I couldn’t go out and play until I finished all my food. Decades later, I’m still trying to stop the habit of eating really fast and eating everything on my plate even if it’s clearly too much to eat.

Geruvah Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Dorothy Parker 4 years ago

Parents have no idea of the impact of their words.

35points

#72

I tried to teach my kids (11 and 15) the dangers of alcohol after they commented how cool it must be to drink “whiskey” on tv and in movies. I told them if they actually tasted it, they’d be sick. The challenge was on. I poured them small amounts of every type of alcohol I had. They enjoyed every single one of them, ranked them favorite (cognac) to least favorite (tequila) and asked for seconds of several. I had to swear them to secrecy.

ramos1969 Report

Final score:

22points

POST

BusLady 4 years ago

Please don't take them to a wine tasting.

25points

thespiansincorsets Report

#73

My mother tried to teach temper tantrums out of me as a child. Once, in a desperate attempt, she said under her breath to me in public "Get up, or Ill sell you in the parking lot." I dont hold her accountable for this reaction, I was a terrible child.

A different day, and another meltdown later, she was trying to get me to act right. I looked dead into her eyes in front of everyone there and screamed: "Why dont you just sell me in the parking lot?"

Final score:

21points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

My mom: "Because I don't have enough money to pay someone to take you!!! "

25points

#74

My little brother refused to eat while my gf and I were baby sitting him. My gf decided to explain the concept of food as an energy source to him. Which he then proceed to use an excuse to not do sh*t. Anytime you told him to do something, he said he couldn’t because he would run out of energy and die.

MagicansaurusRex Report

Final score:

21points

POST

LONDYN BROWN 3 years ago

049-__-GRA...g__880.jpg

7points

#75

I bought cool window decorating markers for Christmas and let the kids decorate the windows and write their names all over them. For the next year or so I found stuff written on the windows with regular permanent markers. I didn’t really think through the concept of teaching them to write on windows very well.

jardiniere1 Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Some Cool Guy 4 years ago

It wipes off with white spirit

12points

#76

Taught them to read early. My son could read by age 4, and my daughter by age 3. This leads to some unwanted conversations as they will read things over your shoulder when you aren't expecting it. Or even just signs on the road. "You're going to fast, Daddy. It says 55 mph and you're going 70."

cadomski Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Arushi Mahadeva 3 years ago

I learned to read early because my mom read to me when i was little like parents usually do, and now i'm obsessed with reading and the fandoms that come with them, my teachers and parents have to sometimes tell me to stop reading. whoops.

3points

#77

My parents use to tell me things like "They didn't call to inform me" or "I don't know, I don't work there" when I started asking "Why?" a billion times. Bit them in the butt when they started asking me why my toys were broken, why I got bad grades, or why I got in trouble. "I don't know, Mom! I was not called and informed!"

Anonymous Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Jaded Queen 4 years ago

Yikes

8points

#78

My folks tried to teach me to do chores with financial incentives. They made a chart with stickers to track chores done and amounts earned. Then they'd put the money I'd earned in my bank account. That I couldn't touch. I didn't end up doing chores.

Alewort Report

Final score:

20points

POST

eimipet 4 years ago

Me too, i now have a 10 dollar account, and now the money I earn goes into... buying things that I want.

7points

#79

That sharing was good. Now he gives away his stuff at the drop off a hat.

"I got a new bike!"

"That's cool, can I have it?"

"Sure!"

mrgmc2new Report

Final score:

20points

POST

yosemity sam 4 years ago

I have a habit of buying candy and just... giving it away to people I know. Don't know how it started but I would give you my life force if you asked for it.

19points

#80

Nanny not a parent. 2yr old was refusing to wear her hat. It was hot. I told her if she didn’t put her hat on she would have to wait in the car. She started walking away from me, ‘Where are you going?’ ...’car’

wisteriahaze Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Bewarethenargles 4 years ago

I had all this crud and old shreds of paper on the floor and my mom said “If you don’t put that away, I’ll throw it away.” I responded “Be my guest.”

10points

#81

I have two boys. School doesn’t like potty words so I tried to go along with it and redirect them from using them. It just made them more interesting and now every other word out of my five year olds mouth is “booty-butt.” He sings entire songs about butts.

143cookiedough Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Gon Freecss 4 years ago

My little brother does the same thing (5)! My grandma will call to say hi every couple days and he'll say "Hi booty-butt!"

11points

#82

Taught my two year old to put leftover food/empty packets etc in the bin. Didn't realise she was also putting her bowls, plates, spoons etc in the bin till we started running low.

GBrook-Hampster Report

Final score:

18points

POST

niki.bordeaux 4 years ago

Yeah, sure, why supervise a 2-year-old?

11points

#83

I warned my daughter that I would take back he presens if she was naughty because "...I still have the receipts". She goes straight to the carrier bag, takes out the receipt and throws it in the bin.

aukondk Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Shelp 4 years ago

that's pure insolence

15points

#84

Every time I refused to eat my food my mom would show me a picture of a starving African child. Therefore I thought everyone was white and turned black upon not eating.

ventscalmes Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Melanie King 4 years ago

thats funny and sad, but kids dont know unless theyre taught so you cant really blame the kid

10points

#85

A friend of mine was trying to teach his son not to hit his daughter, so any time the son hit the daughter, he started hitting the son in the head. Not hard, but enough to hopefully jog some sense of empathy.

Actual result: the son would cover his head with one hand and smack his sister with the other.

Hartastic Report

Final score:

17points

POST

S. 4 years ago

This is why communication is important; that's when they'll know why they shouldn't do the things they do. <3

19points

#86

We taught our 1 year old daughter to throw her dirty diapers in the trash can and she says "good girl." Now everything gets thrown in the trash and she says "good girl."

SkittleCar1 Report

Final score:

17points

POST

JustAWeirdoGirlChild 4 years ago (edited)

my brother did this when he was 1, and still does it at the age of 2

6points

#87

My stepkids were afraid of bugs, so I tried to reassure them that ants and ladybugs are harmless. Now every time they see a bug of any kind they try to pick it up with their bare hands. Ladybugs are one thing, black widows are another.

alicornpig Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Cami 4 years ago

Bruh I have a friend who's been bitten by a black widow TWICE and yet he is still alive. He's a freaking cat.

8points

#88

To teach me a lesson about playing video games too much, my parents took away all my video games but one.
I became a video game completionist who spends hours upon hours more with games than a typical player.

Bike_shop_owner Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Just JoLynn 4 years ago

Umm, ok.

7points

#89

I tried the whole "have your kids quote chores for pay and bid against one another". It's supposed to teach them about working for their money and not expecting handouts like an allowance.

It turned into every time I asked them to do something I got "how much will you pay me"?

BobSacramanto Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Martha Meyer 4 years ago

You taught them capitalism instead of solidarity and reaped what you sowed.

30points

#90

I gave my 5 year old a quick intro to climate changes, and how we need to change in order to stop our race from going extinct. Now, he’s convinced that he’s going to “die soon” and having the world’s biggest freak out. Nothing I can say afterwards is working to make him forget our impending doom!!

xTETSUOx Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Cami 4 years ago

Similar thing with me. When I was six they taught us at school about how we need to "take care" of the environment. The next weekend, we went on a hike, and I broke a rock. I brought it home and glued it back together to help "save the earth". It was a rock.

18points

#91

Tried to teach my 6 year old manners at the table. Now he still eats sloppily but learned to comment others’ manners at the table.

mphix Report

Final score:

15points

POST

#92

Trying to keep.my 4 year old in bed. He gets up 4 or more times saying he has to go to the bathroom. Most of the time he doesn't have to go and we send him back to bed. 5 minutes later, he does it again. He knows that he can get out of bed this way. My wife decided to make tickets. He could use the tickets if he got out of bed. Once the tickets were done, so was he. If he could stay in bed the rest of the night he got rewarded with stickers. The first night we tried it, he [pooped] himself.

BigODetroit Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Henry Cheves 4 years ago

To the person that said a 4 year old can't count to 3, my 3 year old can count to 30.

9points

#93

Taught my one year olds that if they drop something off off their high chair they say uh oh. Now they throw everything they can and say uh oh every time because it's a fun game to them.

zeratul5541 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Ben Dover 4 years ago

No because then you know when they've done it

6points

#94

When I was young, I asked my mother why some humans are darker than others. My mom kept trying to explain that we are all humans, it's just like different flavors of ice cream. Still good, and still ice cream, equal but different :)

Well next time at the supermarket, I was sitting in the childrens part of the cart and I yell out "hey mom, would he be chocolate ice cream"?

clem82 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Cami 4 years ago

That's a really good way to explain race to a little kid.

13points

#95

That he could hang out with people I didn’t like, but that it was because I trusted him to stay true to who he was.
Sounded good and accepting in my head... til he hung out with friends who he got in trouble with at school for weed, and whether you like weed or hate it, it’s still illegal on school grounds and he got expelled. Guess he didn’t heed my lesson, or maybe it was just a bad message.

MadMadGirl Report

Final score:

12points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago

You need to differentiate between "People I don't like" and "Future criminals". There's nothing wrong in adjusting the rule if your child's future is at stake.

12points

#96

Not mine, but a friend has a son who she was potty training. The first time he poo'd in the toilet, she made a celebratory cake. The next day and for about a week after, every time he poo'd he wanted a cake. Lots of tears ensued.

vicomtedemoulliac Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Tammy Rawdon 3 years ago

And you'd think that walking around WITHOUT feces in your pants would be a good enough reward.

5points

#97

My child asked about sex because he heard it at school so the wife and I had an age appropriate discussion with him (10yo). Informed him that it's something that men and woman do when they are in love and want a child.
He then got angry accusing us of having sex even when we don't want more children.

Hubey808 Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Blue of the yams (They/He) 4 years ago

Sex is not just between men and women.

18points

#98

Eat what we make or dont eat. He doesnt eat. Come bed time he pukes. Now we are cleaning up PUKE and trying to get him to eat something ... anything ... Kid won that battle.

Dad365 Report

Final score:

8points

POST

S. 4 years ago

I hope he doesn't have a disordered relationship with food anymore.

19points

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9mebpv/parents_of_reddit_what_lessons_have_to_tried_to/e7elv6r/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Report

#99

My kids were overweight (ex wife's doing) so I began to take them to a nutritionist. The nutritionist said that all foods were fine in moderation, including soda. So my daughter on the way home said she was going to start drinking regular soda because the nutritionist said it was okay. They didn't drink soda before that.

Final score:

6points

POST

memeaubdoctor 4 years ago (edited)

so its your ex-wife's fault huh

8points

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

Read less »

Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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What's your parenting story?

POST

cassiushumanmother 4 years ago

My dad was an accountant and he printed us tickets with his handmade signature on it for pocket money for a year. My brother spent it fast, i didn't and i came to my father at the end of the year with all my rabbits tickets: "you owe me that". He thought that i had lost them. No i was "Scrooge mc Ducking" swimming in my rabbits tickets all the year, thinking about this exact moment. Christmas money+rabbit's tickets=i'll be very rich. I bought a kid windsurf, board and sail.

41points

Fred Bigox 3 years ago

Whats a rabbits ticket?

3points

IlovemydogShilo 4 years ago

when I was 10 I was told a joke at school . The following week I was visiting my uncle and I remembered the this joke even though I didn't really get it. Thinking of the joke I asked my parents what a stroke was. They told me that is was when you had a bleed on the brain and other bits about the illness. Now the joke made sense to me so I went and told it to my uncle. The joke was this; " 3 nuns were out walking in the park. A naked man jumped out in front of them. One nun fainted, one nun had a heart attack, and the third had a stroke. My parents sat there absolutely mortified and unable to stop me. What made matters worse is that my uncle is a Catholic Priest. Luckily he saw the funny side.

26points

Яра Кадулина 3 years ago

Where is the funny part?

13points

Adriana Coppage 3 years ago

Who told you the joke?

2points

Moondust 3 years ago

Too funny!

1point

Your Local Lizard 4 years ago

My mom once told me that i should eat my food because there were poor homeless people who couldnt get food and she told me they ate spoiled food from the trash can. So i put my food in a container and threw it into a trashcan so the homeless could eat it.

24points

Carolina Shapiro-Roman 4 years ago

hahahahaha

2points

Vivian eyler-werve 3 years ago

my parents did the same to me. they told me to eat all my food because I was lucky to have it. and from that day on, I almost completely REFUSED to throw food away out of guilt.

1point

Ravenwolf 3 years ago

I did a simalair thing when I was younger. I'd always save a bit of my food to throw away and give to all the homeless snimals and people.

0points

Leo Domitrix 4 years ago

My dad wanted to prove it's not that easy to shoot. I outshot him with a pistol my third time at the range. Didn't backfire on him per se, but he feared backlash, b/c he never let me go to the range again.

9points

Mary Peace 4 years ago

Ha ha, I'm glad it didn't backfire on him.

3points

Todd Hollfelder 4 years ago

I was with a friend and his 3 y/o son. We'd gone to the mall to get pictures with the Easter Bunny for his family members. My friend was carrying him across the parking lot when, suddenly, he started pointing at a rather rotund woman walking the opposite way. His hand went up and he started pointing at this lady. He started screaming, "Piggy, piggy", very loudly. Needless to say, I crossed the aisle and melted into the scenery. Little did we know, his parents never married, his mother had been teaching him this. She got a good word salad when we got him home!!

6points

aleksandramore7 4 years ago

Todd Hollfelder like

0points

Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago

Pavlov is laughing in his grave.

3points

Ravenwolf 3 years ago

Once my parents told me not to lie about ANYTHING. So after my mom took a shower with a body wash I didn't like the smell of, I said "You smell like garbage!" I spent the next ten minutes in "time out" and pondering why my parents got so mad at me. I still think if this moment seven years later.

2points

Kinsey Rice 3 years ago

I learned where babies come from from my YOUNGER cousin. My cousin, (7) just said, “When I came from your vag***.” I cried bc I thought it wasn’t appropriate. Now, a year later, I had half of “the talk” with my mom. She said, the baby goes in your uterus, and it grows along with it. That’s why your belly looks big. I figured it out on my own hearing the words “sperm” and “sex” and I also hear my parents doing it every night. My dads excuse: “her back was hurting” I used the internet to find out.

2points

Rainbow Panda 4 years ago

Big oof.

2points

Evelyn Dean 3 years ago

When my little brother was little, my aunt came over to see us. She's a cool aunt, and she always has some sort of funny story to tell, but this story is all of ours. When she was leaving, she said the phrase, "See you later, alligator!" And my brother, not knowing what it meant, answered with, "Bye, cow!"

1point

totinos pizza rolls 3 years ago

As a kid i got one of those fairies that would fly up when you put your hand under them. My dad wanted to try it and I said, "Just don't break it." And guess what he did... he broke it. And from that day on I never let him play with my stuff.

1point

Doo Wiki 4 years ago

What happened to all the "lessons"? This list started at 106 and is now down to 40.

1point

cassiushumanmother 4 years ago

At the end of the post "Note: this post originally had 106 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes." if you click on 106 you will see all of the "lessons".

4points

perrynguyen3 3 years ago

Doo Wiki easy

-1point

anny-negi 3 years ago

Doo Wiki follower

-1point

r-c-rausch 3 years ago

Doo Wiki yes

-1point

Cooper Lemley 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Dog Fan For Life 3 years ago

These were fun! Many children make some of the common mistakes in some of these posts, and sometimes they are so funny, you can't help but chuckle!

0points

Kylee Mcelroy 3 years ago

Not the parent but the child, was always a sarcastic person so when my mom was teaching me to make my bed in the morning I would say "Why make my bed when i'll mess it up two seconds later?" needless to say she wasn't happy :/

0points

Vivian eyler-werve 3 years ago

once my dad said that if I watched youtube all night I would become nocturnal like an owl. I LOVED owls and I became nocturnal for around a month after that. sleeping through the day, having breakfast at dinner and lunch at midnight. the whole enchilada. fortunately during summer break.

0points

Livvy 3 years ago

My mom told me that her half-sister gave my grandpa a lecture about the word damn, just to get away with saying it. She was like, "You can't say damn. Damn is a bad word. It's rude to say damn."

0points

Anna Feldman 3 years ago

one time when i was little i put mardi gras beads down the sink and when the plumber came i was like "Ohhh! so that's were they went"

0points

rr 3 years ago

If you think kids interpretations are challenging wait til the "unexpected consequences" of artificial intelligence begin. God help us now.

0points

bansley 3 years ago

rr lol

-1point

rr 3 years ago

If you think this is challenging with kids wait until the unintended consequences of artificial intelligence begin. God help us now.

0points

Hector Figueroa Falcon 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

wojtek78 3 years ago

Hector Figueroa Falcon ?

0points

POST

cassiushumanmother 4 years ago

41points

Fred Bigox 3 years ago

Whats a rabbits ticket?

3points

IlovemydogShilo 4 years ago

26points

Яра Кадулина 3 years ago

Where is the funny part?

13points

Adriana Coppage 3 years ago

Who told you the joke?

2points

Moondust 3 years ago

Too funny!

1point

Your Local Lizard 4 years ago

24points

Carolina Shapiro-Roman 4 years ago

hahahahaha

2points

Vivian eyler-werve 3 years ago

my parents did the same to me. they told me to eat all my food because I was lucky to have it. and from that day on, I almost completely REFUSED to throw food away out of guilt.

1point

Ravenwolf 3 years ago

I did a simalair thing when I was younger. I'd always save a bit of my food to throw away and give to all the homeless snimals and people.

0points

Leo Domitrix 4 years ago

9points

Mary Peace 4 years ago

Ha ha, I'm glad it didn't backfire on him.

3points

Todd Hollfelder 4 years ago

6points

aleksandramore7 4 years ago

Todd Hollfelder like

0points

Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago

Pavlov is laughing in his grave.

3points

Ravenwolf 3 years ago

2points

Kinsey Rice 3 years ago

2points

Rainbow Panda 4 years ago

Big oof.

2points

Evelyn Dean 3 years ago

1point

totinos pizza rolls 3 years ago

1point

Doo Wiki 4 years ago

What happened to all the "lessons"? This list started at 106 and is now down to 40.

1point

cassiushumanmother 4 years ago

At the end of the post "Note: this post originally had 106 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes." if you click on 106 you will see all of the "lessons".

4points

perrynguyen3 3 years ago

Doo Wiki easy

-1point

anny-negi 3 years ago

Doo Wiki follower

-1point

r-c-rausch 3 years ago

Doo Wiki yes

-1point

Cooper Lemley 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Dog Fan For Life 3 years ago

These were fun! Many children make some of the common mistakes in some of these posts, and sometimes they are so funny, you can't help but chuckle!

0points

Kylee Mcelroy 3 years ago

0points

Vivian eyler-werve 3 years ago

0points

Livvy 3 years ago

My mom told me that her half-sister gave my grandpa a lecture about the word damn, just to get away with saying it. She was like, "You can't say damn. Damn is a bad word. It's rude to say damn."

0points

Anna Feldman 3 years ago

one time when i was little i put mardi gras beads down the sink and when the plumber came i was like "Ohhh! so that's were they went"

0points

rr 3 years ago

If you think kids interpretations are challenging wait til the "unexpected consequences" of artificial intelligence begin. God help us now.

0points

bansley 3 years ago

rr lol

-1point

rr 3 years ago

If you think this is challenging with kids wait until the unintended consequences of artificial intelligence begin. God help us now.

0points

Hector Figueroa Falcon 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

wojtek78 3 years ago

Hector Figueroa Falcon ?

0points