When will some women realize the kids don't belong solely to them? Fathers have as many rights as the mothers. If OP was being vindictive, he probably would have fed them meat earlier. I'm not sure I believe the kids are shorter because of the vegan diet, but I don't have to, these are not my kids. I do think its important for kids to eat meat, especially at those ages, for protein and also to avoid them having to sneak to McDonald's with friends or feel different from friends (About a Boy)

I didn't read all the replies above, but I noticed the one that accused OP of xenophobia and said he needed to learn to cook with new ingredients. I know some people seem to go around looking for bigotry of one kind or another in every situation, but I thought it was really a reach to use it in this case.

Lol, a parent thinks they can control a kid's diet? They're 11, 9, and 7 and very soon they'll be eating whatever the hell they want during their teenage years. She's in for a 2nd very rude awakening soon.

His ex is delusional. No judge is going to take children from their father because he doesn't follow "her" lifestyle choice. Any, and all doctors will argue that he's not harming the kids, so what's the problem?

Barring serious medical issues requiring it a super strict, restrictive diet is not a good thing for a child. Kids should be introduced to a variety of foods, taught balance and moderation, and when they're old enough to decide for themselves and understand the nutritional benefits and drawbacks then vegetarianism or veganism can be considered. But it shouldn't be forced on a young child. Dad is NTA. If mom wants them to only eat vegan when they're with her that's one thing, but when they're not with her it's not her call

I think you are NTA and it is totally reasonable that your kids share your dietary choices when they are with you. A vegan diet done right with supplementation as needed can achieve adequate nutritional intake, but it takes knowledge and commitment--and may be hard to achieve for kids if they are picky eaters at all. I would be on the lookout for your ex choosing to manipulate the kids into veganism again by exposing them to pictures/ videos of animal slaughter or maltreatment. Not denying that this exists, but not appropriate for young kids to see. My sister encountered this type of aggressive pressure as a young teenager from the militant vegan parents of a friend while playing at their home.

OP could apply for custody on grounds of dietary abuse.

I mostly wish people would stop giving their kids such stupid names.

i fully believe it is the childs choice on how they eat. however i believe it should b after a certain age. my friend and her husband r both vegan and bc they didnt listen to doctors their daughter has many health issues. my friends own parents who r not vegan called cps bc their daughter was in a state that made her look sickly. in the end my friends daughter ended up living with her grandparents and my friend and her husband only have visitation rights. my friends daughter is now much healthier but still has some medical issues due to years of not getting proper nutrition at a very early age. their daughter is now 13 and every holiday they try to tell her not to eat things that arent vegan. she ignores them every time bc she is listening to her doctors and grandparents. im her god mother and at the time i was in no condition to take over as guardian which is y her grandparents have her. i told them wat was going on and asked them to help their grand daughter in any way they can. they tried talking to my friend and her husband but they refused to listen. and before ppl get angry and say i was wrong to butt in even if i was her god mother i want u to kno multiple doctors said if her diet continued on the current path her body would b so weak she could actually die young. i learned that wen my friends daughter was born she never gave her formula or breast milk she gave her daughter stuff like coconut milk or soy milk instead. instead of proper baby food she mash up tofu and mix random fruits into it. basically her daughter never had a proper healthy meal from birth to the age of 6. my friend stopped talking to me wen she found out i was involved. well stopped talking to me after calling me every horrible name in the dictionary first and just verbally abusing me wenever she got the chance for 2 weeks. i have been staying in contact with my friends daughter, i go to every bday party and have baked her a bday cake of her choice every time, i see her often, send her christmas gifts and help out where ever i can. she asked me to b in her life as much as i can and i promised i would and plan to keep that promise. i dont blame the OP for being nervous and going against venus's wishes. if his kids decide to b vegan/vegitarian in the future thats fine as long as the get the nutrition they need while they r still growing kids. i dont judge ppl if they have different diets but if its a risk to a childs life then i have an issue. if i remember correctly my friend made her dog and cat have vegan diets too and cat ran off wen it got the oppertunity and her dog didnt live long. her cat was found but wen my friend was told the cat had been hunting mice in someones garage she told them to keep the cat bc it was no longer vegan. my friend wasnt always like this. i remember going to her family bbqs and having competetions on who can eat a burger faster. she went vegan during college and became obssessed and strict about it. idk wat exactly changed her.

'Doctors orders' used to carry some authority. Respect your medical professionals, people. They've earned that much and more.

Just thinking about how fraught things are with separated parents. It's food, it's religion, it's political, it's medical (vaccinate or not, vitamins, fluouride). When I divorced in 1980 I just wanted my ex to feel free to visit and get visits, but since he had a d**g/alcohol problem, physical custody was with me.

Wonder what she did when the children were nursing?

Both parents are terrible. The time to decide on the diet and find out what health effects to watch for was 12 years ago. Unbelievable that they've been in the 5-15% and neither parent asked if they needed to do anything different. Assuming they're just small instead of talking to the doctor who is right there is negligent. He also should have informed her what the doctor said and what he was going to do beforehand. This makes it sound like he did after the fact. I also think this is weaponizing their health against her. It was fine not to check when they were together. Now that they're not he's adding meat without telling her when he started. These poor kids.

Getting the necessary amino acids from vegan food is not a secret science. Today I made whole wheat pasta and tomato sauce with soy crumbs. Pasta does not have lysine and threonine, but soy does. By combining, you can easily get the necessary amino acids. Beans & rice together contain the necessary amino acids. Those fancy meat imitations are expensive and often contain too much salt and hard fat, and nutritionists don't recommend them as part of your daily diet. Rather, I would ask if the boys have definitely received the recommended amount of vegetables (here it is 800 grams per day). I personally try to follow the traffic light recommendation, i.e. red, orange/yellow and green every day.

OP never gave the age of his ex wife, considering how young he was when they got together I would be worried that she groomed him.

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ESH, NTA for wanting the kids to get proper nutrition and be healthy. YTA for not giving the kids the option themselves. YTA for not co-parenting this such as not talking with ex about DR's recommendations.