Dad Gives Meat And Dairy To His Daughter’s Friend Despite Her Family Being Vegan, Wonders If His Actions Are Justified
Every household has its own rules and no way is the wrong way. (If we disregard extreme examples, of course). So, when a parent raises their child a certain way, whether it’s due to their culture, ethics, or health, others should respect these decisions. And that includes the kid’s friend and their family who are having the little ones over for a sleepover.
This dad, however, doesn’t see it that way. Reddit user u/believeblackbodies has admitted to feeding his daughter’s 12-year-old buddy meat even though she’s following a strict vegan diet at home. At first glance, you might think why is this such a big deal. After all, the man isn’t deceiving the little girl and she knows what she is stuffing inside her mouth — it’s her choice. And you might have a point.
But she’s twelve and he’s doing so without her parents knowing.
Image credits: Andra (not the actual photo)
Image credits: believeblackbodies
The sleepover, along with its close cousin the slumber party, took off in the ’50s and ’60s and has become an essential part of childhood for boys and girls. There simply comes a time when camping in the living room with mom and dad no longer cuts it.
But Talya Stone, a former editor-in-chief turned parenting blogger and the woman behind Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What, thinks there is no magic formula that gives the exact age a child is ready for them. “It really depends on the individual child’s emotional maturity and independence levels,” she told Bored Panda. “Every parent knows their child and is the best judge of this.”
And it’s not just her. In an article for The Chicago Tribune, Sleepover Survival Guide, Heidi Stevens quotes an expert who notes that the American Academy of Pediatrics doesn’t offer age guidelines for sleepovers and slumber parties.
“If your child seems confident and not anxious with other people and in different surroundings, and doesn’t need assistance in getting off to sleep at night, and shows a keen interest in having a sleepover then those are all great signs,” Talya Stone said. “For some kids, this can be as young as 5 or 6, for others who might be less secure or more anxious, this might not be until they are 10-12. You are your child’s own best judge so I would recommend parents take their cues and evaluate the readiness signs. Also, it’s important to remember that just because a child says they want to have a sleepover doesn’t mean they are ready or that it will be a success.”
Some people think the man is out of his mind
It takes a lot of guts to trust someone else with the most valuable person in your life. To give another parent control over your kid.
“It is a big leap of faith, but we all have to do it at some stage,” Talya Stone said. “It’s important not to project your worries or anxieties on your child, and remember that kids are for the most part more resilient and capable than you think. That said, when it comes to sleepovers, be sure that you know the host family well enough that you can trust them, and have enough of a rapport to communicate any must-dos and dealbreakers before the sleepover.”
According to the mom, making sure that everyone is on the same page will help you feel a lot more comfortable about handing your child over to someone else.
But some believe he’s acting within reason
From the description of the foods prepared and fed to the little girls, I am more wondering if the author and his family are overweight than about whether the “smaller and paler” girl is actually malnourished. Anyway, it’s wrong to secretly teach someone’s kid to disobey their parents. If he seriously believed she is malnourished, he should talk with her parents, teachers, contact the authorities etc. - that’s the right way to resolve such situations. And it’s hard to believe no one else in the school or neighbourhood wouldn’t have noticed. The fact that he described the girls family as “neurotic” also kind of indicates that he might be doing this because he disrespects their lifestyle rather than because of serious concern about the girl’s wellbeing.
Nothing in the description indicates the food would mean the family is overweight. It is completely plausible to do a great big dinner one night a week and a big breakfast twice a week and eat smaller meals during the week on top of exercising. I tend to make large meals on the weekend and my kids eat oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast during the week. We have a salad at least once a week and during the winter we do soup and bread twice a week. While I feel this parent is overstepping their boundaries I don't think it is fair to say they are overweight from a onetime meal they do. But, then again, we just don't know.
Load More Replies...There are absolutely no reasons to assume that the kid is undernourished or malnourished because she looks pale. It's just a case of biased @ssholery. I'm sure if the girl was Muslim she would have been given pork. Deliberately going against how the parents raise their kids shows a lack of respect. I'm sure shyte is going to hit the fan when the vegan parents find out.
Aside from everything else, the fact that he's making assumptions about her health and making decisions about her diet because of it really gets me. He's not her freaking doctor and has no business trying to remedy whatever health problems he's conjured out of thin air. I'm not vegan, but his post makes me furious. If he *actually* truly believes the girl is malnourished (which is neglect/abuse), he should report the parents to CPS, not try to take matters into his own hands. But I suspect he hasn't reported them because the daughter is not, in fact, malnourished, and he's just looking for an excuse to pretend to be morally superior to vegans by "helping" their daughter. All that said, I think a talk is in order between the girl and her parents if she wants to stop being vegan. Her parents should respect that.
Load More Replies...Even when my kids were 12, I would have asked the parents first before doing something like that. This isn't about what's good for the kid, it's about this person making an ideological statement. Bad, bad judgement on the meat-eater's part.
But the parents are strict vegans so what would asking the parents help? The kid loves the food and knows full well that it's not what her parents like but eats it anyway, over and over again. Also, she doesn't get sick...going from a strict vegetarian diet to such a heavy meal is bad for her body so her not getting sick for me is a sign that she gets meat/dairy from other sources too...
Load More Replies...From the description of the foods prepared and fed to the little girls, I am more wondering if the author and his family are overweight than about whether the “smaller and paler” girl is actually malnourished. Anyway, it’s wrong to secretly teach someone’s kid to disobey their parents. If he seriously believed she is malnourished, he should talk with her parents, teachers, contact the authorities etc. - that’s the right way to resolve such situations. And it’s hard to believe no one else in the school or neighbourhood wouldn’t have noticed. The fact that he described the girls family as “neurotic” also kind of indicates that he might be doing this because he disrespects their lifestyle rather than because of serious concern about the girl’s wellbeing.
Nothing in the description indicates the food would mean the family is overweight. It is completely plausible to do a great big dinner one night a week and a big breakfast twice a week and eat smaller meals during the week on top of exercising. I tend to make large meals on the weekend and my kids eat oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast during the week. We have a salad at least once a week and during the winter we do soup and bread twice a week. While I feel this parent is overstepping their boundaries I don't think it is fair to say they are overweight from a onetime meal they do. But, then again, we just don't know.
Load More Replies...There are absolutely no reasons to assume that the kid is undernourished or malnourished because she looks pale. It's just a case of biased @ssholery. I'm sure if the girl was Muslim she would have been given pork. Deliberately going against how the parents raise their kids shows a lack of respect. I'm sure shyte is going to hit the fan when the vegan parents find out.
Aside from everything else, the fact that he's making assumptions about her health and making decisions about her diet because of it really gets me. He's not her freaking doctor and has no business trying to remedy whatever health problems he's conjured out of thin air. I'm not vegan, but his post makes me furious. If he *actually* truly believes the girl is malnourished (which is neglect/abuse), he should report the parents to CPS, not try to take matters into his own hands. But I suspect he hasn't reported them because the daughter is not, in fact, malnourished, and he's just looking for an excuse to pretend to be morally superior to vegans by "helping" their daughter. All that said, I think a talk is in order between the girl and her parents if she wants to stop being vegan. Her parents should respect that.
Load More Replies...Even when my kids were 12, I would have asked the parents first before doing something like that. This isn't about what's good for the kid, it's about this person making an ideological statement. Bad, bad judgement on the meat-eater's part.
But the parents are strict vegans so what would asking the parents help? The kid loves the food and knows full well that it's not what her parents like but eats it anyway, over and over again. Also, she doesn't get sick...going from a strict vegetarian diet to such a heavy meal is bad for her body so her not getting sick for me is a sign that she gets meat/dairy from other sources too...
Load More Replies...
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