She’s not the the AH for this. I was taught something similar at that age and ended up being more financially prepared when I was older. Kids wanna know finances and too many adults beg for schools to teach them. It’s our jobs as parents to fill the gaps in our children’s education on these things. My eldest is already learning! My youngest still likes to splurge… I hope he’ll get there.

The teacher is the TA for not staying in her lane. The mom did a good job. What's the teacher expecting? That parents go into debt over leisurely field trips? There's not been one expensive field trip I've gone on all throughout school. Maybe camping, but that's it. I believe I've even hid some permission slips from my mom when I saw the big numbers of the price. Like $100-$1K. That was when I knew all the mean, snobby kids would be gone for a few days, or even a week, and I could relax in school, playing Froggy on the computer, read a book or some other fun game all day. It would be a quarter of the class left behind.

I'd bet that teacher got quite a bit of negative feedback from various parents about the short notice on this trip and decided to take it out on a parent who was actually HONEST with her kid... And looking at the single downvote on each other comment, apparently the teacher is reading the article 🤔

You'd think the way the teacher reacted that the daughter was 3 or 4

Mom did right and I hope she lit into that teacher. I'd have torn that teacher a new a$$hole

I think it’s very appropriate to talk to children of multiple ages about money. Money will play an important role in their lives and, when they become adults they will have better footing to manage their own finances. It sounds like this mom reassured the child that their family is okay, it’s extra fun expenses that may need to be put on hold. My child is 7 and we talk about how money works. We work at our jobs and earn money and then we pay for everything from our house, to our cars, to our electricity, to his toys and his sports. We also talk about how we’re lucky that we have a safe place to live, food to eat, etc. and talk about how some people are homeless and can really struggle even with hard work. But we’ll always take care of him. When he learn to read, I can’t remember if this was at 5 or 6, he started asking about homeless and what it meant because he could read the signs people had asking for money. I explained what it was and his next question was,

Wow, if this had happened to my mom she would have tore the teacher a new one for wasting her time and interferring with her parenting. OP should speak to the principal and file a complaint with the teacher's college. I know it sounds alarmist of me, but the teacher sounds classist at best, and paranoid at worst.

Did the friend who thinks they're the AH offer to pay for the theme park trip? Or the teacher?? If not they should shut the fvck up! Are the parents supposed to pull money out of their butts? I wish MY parents had discussed finances with me as a teenager. It took going away to college for me to learn that not everyone has the same amount of money - I grew up in a place where we were all well off and no one knew any different.

NTA. Explaining finances to a child in terms they can understand is the best thing a parent can do for their child regarding money. It's a lot more practical than merely handing them an allowance just for breathing. A 12-year-old can comprehend how economic situations affect cash flow. When they know, they can budget for something they want. The teacher, on the other hand, was wa-a-a-ay out of line. Unless she wanted to offer financial assistance for the school trip, she should have kept her trap shut. I believe that a conference with both parents, the meddling teacher, and the principal is in order. OP, let 'em have it with BOTH barrels. Make it crystal clear that you are quite capable of parenting her child without outside interference, thank you very much. Also, unless they want you to drop in on the teacher's classroom and show her how to teach, this does not happen again. Period. Parenting nowadays is hard enough without buttinskys.

Everyone is forgetting the fact that the teacher on,y learned about it by eavesdropping! So she listened in on a conversation NOT directed at her. If the daughter had told the teacher directly, it would be one thing, but that’s not the case here. Teacher butted into something that is absolutely none of her business, and which she was not invited to know about—-and very much risked having misinterpreted, depending on where in the daughter’s conversation with her friends her ears perked up. Had she been out of earshot, she would’ve never known. Definitely out of bounds for butting in to the private life of one of her students’ family—-and the rotten cherry on top of her shitcake is that she had the f*****g nerve to then call and scold the mother for very age appropriately explaining a financial downturn to her daughter! Yeah, Mom should call Teacher’s Boss ASAP.

What I discuss with my kids is not the teacher's business.

That teacher is was out of line - it is none of her f.....g business. And the mother is absolutely right to explain the reason for her decisions honestly - 12 is by far old enough to understand some not so pleasent realities of life.

Huge NTA. We are poor. Poor as in going to mcdonald is a birthday treat. My kids know this from early age. We almost never have 'i want that toy, now!' tantrum. OP is great for being honest with her kids.

Honestly I hope that teacher gets reported and fired it was not her place to call the parents and tell them what's inappropriate to teach their child

She's not the AH and in my opinion the teacher massively overstepped. She's 12, OP was honest and reassuring with her. They showed their vulnerability so now the daughter really knows she in turn can show her parents when she's vulnerable. It's called good parenting.

Definitely NTA. That teacher is way out of line. My 9 year old knows that Daddy's and Mommy's income isn't increasing at the same rate as inflation so we can't do and buy everything we used to. She understands that we can't just dump $150 on a fieldtrip on the train right now. If I just said "no" with no explanation she wouldn't know if she'd done something wrong or I was just being difficult. Now she's learning to consider what things cost and to look for alternatives for things she wants to do that don't cost as much. I consider this a normal part of raising a functional adult.

Did anyone else notice they got less heads up than normal for a trip that's likely more expensive than average? I think that would throw any budgeting parent off.

Nope, teacher is there to educate. Either you now take up finance for my kid or I will teach it. That it might not have been smart that kid shared struggles at home (privacy) it happens and you can learn & educate from making oepsies. And the next depends on culture and law. But if I was a teacher I would take every kid that can't go and educate them on financial reality, so that the kids who do not understand why there parents might have said 'no' might later understand.

I am not exaggerating when I say I would have pulled my kid out of that teacher's class, if not the entire school. No wonder today's young adults are so woefully unprepared for adulthood.

It's their daughter. Why would the teacher be involved with something not their business? It's overstep on teacher's Parr. Maybe someone should interject on the personal life of this teacher.

I hope you told the teacher to get f****d.

Ditto on all the nta.

The one thing I'd say is that if/when the parents start making more money they need to keep their kid in the loop. I was in a similar situation as a kid. I knew money was tight (my parents explained why I couldn't go on one of the school trips) so I would tell my parents I really didn't want to go on any school trips when they came up. Despite the fact I'd have been happy to go on pretty much all of them. It was only later that I learned that finances had improved and I could have gone on a couple of them. edit: the point being kids tend to have a fixed idea or "fact" in their head. So it needs to be updated from time to time.

More parents should be honest with their kids about family finances. Instead of putting in false faces that kids don't understand.

Wtf is going on with that so called teacher. And the moms so called friend. Kids aren't stupid, give them an actual reason and the truth and they can handle it. Hiding everything from them builds mistrust, resentment and a lack of understanding about the real world. That teacher is a failure as a person and a teacher.

Were such a thing to happen to me, I would be kicking up a right stink about that teacher and their audacity to weigh in on such a matter. That is grossly inappropriate, invasive and unnecessary.

Edit " More people"

I grew up low income. While my parents didn't give specifics when I was little, I understood we couldn't just get anything we want. I've been telling my 5 year old that we don't enough money for things when she tries to grab stuff at the store and that we need other things. She's young enough that we tell her to add it to the birthday/Christmas list. Half the stuff she forgets about it after awhile anyway. She doesn't fully grasp it, but we've told here something is too expensive often enough that she's starting to understand that she may get some things later and that I can sell some of her toys if she want to earn a little cash. Monopoly Jr. that she got this last Christmas is giving her a fun way and visual of how money works. She love's that game. The first level just has $1 bills.The second level has $1 and $5 bills. She does get a little treat now and then, so that she knows it's okay to treat herself once in awhile and make sure that we do fun activities with her.

NTA!! Twelve years old is a good time to help kids understand the basics of finances! I remember when kids in grade school were encouraged to open a bank account, and were even given their own bank books to watch their money (for the Gen-Xers, a bank book was literally a statement that recorded in real time any transactions on a bank account, checking or savings. If one has an account at a specific bank, they have to present their bank book if they want to deposit or withdraw money so that the teller can record the transaction. That's long before online banking and such.).

I think 3 weeks us plenty of time, but that's just me. The teacher doesn't get a say on what you discuss with your child, we all parent differently and that's ok.