You know how some people say, “What’s mine is yours”? Well, that phrase works just fine when it comes to lending out a book, a cup of sugar, or even a pair of shoes. But when someone starts eyeing your wedding dress, the one that holds so many memories, things get a little tricky. It’s one thing to borrow a sweater, but your wedding gown? That’s a whole new level.

This one Redditor found herself in that exact situation, and what started as a simple request quickly spiraled into a full-blown bridal showdown, leaving her wondering if she’s the bad guy.

More info: Reddit

Woman’s plus size friend wants to wear her wedding dress on her big day, as she doesn’t like any other gowns, but the woman refuses, as she doesn’t want her dress to be altered

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The woman is pregnant and wants to be able to fit in her wedding dress after the baby arrives, making it her weight-loss goal

Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The bride-to-be wears clothes 2 sizes larger than her friend, so she would need to alter the dress a lot to be able to fit in it, and the woman refuses to allow her

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

After the woman refuses to lend her dress, the friend goes behind her back, trying to make her husband give it to her anyway

Image credits: throwawy_mydress

The bride-to-be tries to manipulate her friend into giving her the dress by saying she is a bad friend who doesn’t care about her happiness

The original poster of this story, a 32-year-old mom-to-be (let’s just call her Lucy), was trying to handle pregnancy emotions and the body changes that come with it. She was happily married to Howie, and together they came up with a fun way to stay motivated after the baby arrived.

Each one of them picked an outfit they would want to fit into again. Howie went for the clothes he wore the day they first met, and Lucy had her heart set on squeezing back into her wedding dress. A pretty reasonable goal, right?

Talking about wedding dresses, Lucy’s friend, May, got engaged and started shopping for her own gown but she couldn’t find “the one”. As it turns out, she already knew exactly what dress she wanted, and it was the one hanging in Lucy’s closet!

Yes, that’s right, May wanted to wear her friend’s wedding dress down the aisle. But she didn’t really ask nicely – it was more like she demanded it, as if it was just another pair of old jeans.

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Now, asking someone to give you their wedding dress is no small ask. It’s not like May needed to borrow a blender or a pair of earrings. This was a dress that Lucy had customized and tailored to fit her unique body shape and style. And, according to Lucy, May was two sizes larger than her and rocking a completely different body shape. You know what that means—alterations, and a lot of them.

But Lucy wasn’t about to let her precious dress be turned into some sort of patchwork project that wouldn’t even look like her original gown by the end of it. Plus, she had plans for that dress as part of her post-baby weight loss journey. Seems reasonable, right?

Well, her friend didn’t seem to think so and, instead of just accepting it and moving on to another dress, May accused Lucy of not thinking about her happiness. Because, apparently, everyone’s life was supposed to revolve around May’s big day.

Image credits: Racool_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

But the drama didn’t stop there, and May decided to go full-on bridezilla and told her fiancé that Lucy had agreed to hand over the dress, even though she absolutely had not. Imagine the confusion when the fiancé sent a message thanking Lucy’s husband for their generosity and arranging a time to pick up the dress!

Luckily, the husband clarified that no such agreement was ever made, and put the brakes on May’s plan to swoop in and claim the gown.

As expected, May started throwing fits, accusing her friend of being too attached to a “material item” and claiming that she was prioritizing a dress over their friendship. But here’s the thing: it was not just about the dress. It was about boundaries and respect – just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you’re entitled to someone else’s possessions. And Lucy made her boundaries very clear, only her friend decided to pretend like she didn’t see them.

Setting boundaries is not just about saying “no” when something feels off—it’s about understanding your limits and sticking to them. When people cross those lines, it’s a sign they might not respect your needs or feelings.

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Experts say that “Setting healthy boundaries in friendships can help you protect your identity and personal space. It can also prevent others from taking advantage of you or limiting what you want to do.” After all, true friendships should be built on mutual understanding, not emotional manipulation.

According to some experts, if someone is intentionally making comments designed to make you feel guilty or ashamed, they may be trying to emotionally manipulate you. If that guilt or shame is used to push you into doing something that serves their interests but not your own, it’s a clear sign of emotional manipulation.

For example, in Lucy’s case, May tried to portray her friend’s refusal to give her the dress as a lack of friendship and played the “you don’t care about my happiness” card.

What do you think of this story? Was the mom-to-be a jerk for not allowing her friend to wear her wedding dress? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

Netizens side with the woman, saying she’s not a jerk for refusing to allow her friend to alter her beloved wedding dress and wear it on her big day

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