Never ever in the history of films has anyone delivered upon that promise.

No! Just no! Stop teaching generations of young people that conflicts can be resolved with immediate intimacy. Talk! Learn to communicate and have respect for what the other person has to say. 

Why do you assume you know what it looks like to me? Also, if you realize someone might take it the wrong way, why not lead with an actual explanation before they are out of the door and into the third-act conflict?

“Need to study/train for a certain period of time” hard? Definitely not “see this aircraft for the first time, can definitely fly it through an ambush.” 

You mean this as a sign of danger, so it’s probably a good idea to stop being poetic and just voice your concerns. 

We get it, you’re protective. Or intimidating. But right now you’re most probably tied to a chair or on the other side of the world talking on the phone. So maybe calm down and go actually do something to save him/her? 

We know you can defeat an entire evil organization with your left hand while knitting mittens with your right hand. You’re just being coy. It’s not cute. 

To quote Phineas and Ferb, “Yes. Yes, we are.” So would you please quit your manipulating strategy that stopped being effective after the third person in movie history tried it? 

First, you’re giving them a super arbitrary deadline. Second, we all know they’re gonna think you found your demise in there and go in, maybe even before that arbitrary time span you gave them is over.

Easy for you, you mean? Honestly, the entire phrase just sounds stupid and pretentious.

You were born wet and crying. So if this was your best argument to convince me you’re ready for the job, you failed.  

No, I’m just saving some for the next fight I’ve got scheduled for tonight. Usually said by the protagonist who has been pummeled against every wall in the building, it sounds like very unnecessary bravado.   

But you’re not me, end of discussion. You’re just wasting movie runtime.

There is only one Han Solo in this world, and you’re not him. Stop. 

I know your heart is in a good place, but you make it sound like you just want them to go die somewhere else so that you don’t have to deal with it. And honestly, this whole dying thing doesn’t really depend on the person in question.

No one ever is so absorbed in their thoughts that they don’t realize they’re talking out loud. Admit it, you wanted the other party to hear it. Or just stop using this as a plot propeller.  

Maybe if you stopped being passive-aggressive and explained it in normal human terms, I would?

For once, I’d love to see that person come from the front and face the one who says that, instead of just sneaking up on them.

You know, when people run away from you for whatever reason, they usually don’t even hear what you say, so…

How hard is it to say “Please, explain it in simpler terms so that I can understand” or, at the very least, “Quit with the professional jargon and talk like a common person”? Because that phrase you’re using stopped being funny a long time ago.

Thank you, Captain Obvious. And now you only made it even more awkward.  

Super unhelpful and time-wasting. When they say this in a movie, it usually means danger, so maybe just warn your friends in advance about who they are up against.

No, I’m not asking you to roll out your entire plan. “Show, don’t tell” and all that, I get it. Just stop saying this. People don’t preface their plans with an opening line. 

If you need to explain this to your buddy cop and/or military platoon, you might as well just go home. You are trained for this.

Often followed by “You tell him/her/them yourself,” it adds absolutely nothing to the situation or character development.  

You’re tough, we get it. Maybe you won’t even hesitate to do what you just promised to do. But honestly, say something fresh. 

Maybe they are, but your line doesn’t add anything to the situation. Maybe at least ask them if they are okay?

We all know they will because the movie needs to happen. There are other more creative ways of showing that you are the wise one in this equation. 

What can I say, your parents had poor naming skills. You could have easily said the thing was second nature to you, you know. 

There was a reason this line worked for T-800. Even if you mean it as a parody, we’ve had enough of that as well. 

Ya think?! Then why are you standing there being Captain Obvious? Run! 

They can’t and they won’t. Because they either have to die for the rest of the movie to happen, or you have to get in there and get them out and prove your coolness. So stop wasting your time and go do something. 

Said after inflicting maximum damage on the surroundings or when everything is over, it kind of defeats the purpose. 

No worries. Next time you’re on top of the Himalayas you will have it, if the plot demands so.

You were probably talking about it the entirety of the previous scene, so really no need to confirm. Also, not every moment requires a line of dialogue.

Rude. Just rude. Stop hanging out with these screenwriters; they are a bad influence. 

Oh. My. God! Just put it to rest already. This phrase has been so used to death, it makes me actively angry.

People don’t talk like this. They either ask you if you are okay, or just mind their own business.