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Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Men who are victims of sexual assault, rape, domestic abuse, male suicide rates, and depression

Pill-gram , Elvert Barnes Report

Final score:

105points

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Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

To close to home man. To close to home

21points

KatHat 2 years ago

I hope you have some support, Jacob. Sending you love and strength across the internet :)

6points

Chernobyl Guide 2 years ago

Especially the R*pe part, men often get all the backlash and people dismiss it and say things like “Isn’t that what all guys want?” While the sexual abuser remains almost completely unpunished or even has a petition to not have them punished at all, it needs to change

6points

DKS 001 2 years ago

boys need to be able to grow up knowing they are validated, their crazy ideas and emotions are normal, and expressing them constructively is vital to society

5points

Isaac Harvey 2 years ago

In addition, people should actually listen and respond to them when they complain. Communication goes both ways.

0points

Brendan Roberts 2 years ago

Very real and very common.

3points

Matt Tyson 2 years ago

I have mental health issues and where I moved to a few years ago am mocked and demeaned for it. Also, there is very little support around this area for men.

2points

kjorn 2 years ago

i heard so many "feminist" who just don't care of mens problem. they're just: "it's our turn now"

2points

Aeon Flux 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I I 2 years ago

big killer suicide is in men over 40

1point

Gingergirl 2 years ago

Read the case of Jari Wise, killed by his partner, in Australia. #justice4jari

0points

We reached out to Rob Whitley, Ph.D., an associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry, McGill University, and the author of Men’s Issues and Men’s Mental Health, to discuss the problems men are facing today.

According to the professor, there can be multiple reasons why these issues are often overlooked. First, there are the harmful stereotypes of men "based on research indicating that people typically attribute significantly more positive and pleasant traits to women than to men."

"One common manifestation of such biased gender stereotypes is the familiar women as victim/men as villain dichotomy, where men are sometimes framed as villainous threats to the social order and women as helpless passive victims, regardless of actual circumstances," he explained.

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered I saw a woman attempting to hit her boyfriend outside a local supermarket. He walked away from her. She followed him and kept hitting him. After this went on for about 90 seconds he shoved her away roughly once.

2 cars immediately stopped and men jumped out of them shouting at and threatening this guy for shoving her.

Nobody did anything when she was attacking him.

Edit: there are a lot of people commenting that I didn't help him either.

I reported the incident to the security guard. Both the man and the woman were bigger than me. I'm not a big/tough person, there are limits to what I would ever get physically involved in plus when the other people jumped out of their cars they could just as easily have targeted me if I had got involved.

I did what I could without endangering myself.

Random_Guy_47 , Mark Freeth Report

Final score:

94points

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Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

Sad for that man

21points

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered So I'm at the park playing tag with these kids I'm babysitting and out of nowhere this old lady comes up to me and starts asking all sorts of questions. Do you know these kids? What are there names? Can you call their parents for me? Even asking the kids if they knew me and when they answered yes, she responded with "you don't have to lie, if you don't know this man, you can tell me and I can help you.

WalkingonCoffee , Teresa Qin Report

Final score:

89points

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april jenkins 2 years ago

tell her to far cough...

45points

Then, there’s the gender empathy gap: "A relatively new phrase that refers to variations in public and private empathy towards men and women, with women typically receiving more empathy than men, even when controlling for situational factors."

Finally, we have the male gender blindness, "A tendency to overlook or ignore issues, inequities and disparities disproportionately experienced by men and boys in governments, health services and other institutions."

Rob Whitley told us that the current approaches to men’s mental health need to change because they "too narrowly focus on the singular concept of masculinity." Plus, they sometimes take an "unhelpful blaming and shaming accusatory approach by suggesting that men's mental health woes are due to alleged male deficits such as stubbornness and silence."

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered The miserable Paternity leaves. Cause what man wants to spend time with his new born kid and a recovering wife right ! ಠ_ಠ

amrav_123 , CIPHR Report

Final score:

85points

POST

Jo Choto 2 years ago

In a lot of countries, the parental leave rights are equal.

35points

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Loneliness. Many men tend to have a lot of friends, but never close friends or people they feel like truly care about them, which leads to declining mental health, and maybe worse.

themom_destroyer , Alex Proimos Report

Final score:

83points

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Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

That is true. Having friends doesn’t mean you aren’t lonley

20points

"In fact, less than 50% of people with a mental illness use formal mental health services, with service-utilization rates significantly lower in men compared to women, even when controlling for the presence of mental disorder," the professor added. "This underutilization has typically been attributed to harmful masculine norms that lead to a dysfunctional silence and stubbornness among men with mental health issues."

However, this explanation ignores several relevant factors. First, there is a high degree of stigma in workplaces, the family and elsewhere "that can deter men from using formal mental health services and breaking the silence."

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered "Sorry man, we can't arrest her just because you have bruises and endless death threats. The prosecutor won't even file. It's really shi**y, buddy, we know. You can't go back to your house. She's established residency and only a judge can order her to leave your property."

I didn't believe the guy. The police confirmed it for me. Poor dude. I didn't even know we had this much power. The only option to get the person out of your house is a month-long process in court. A process she must LEGALLY be notified of. While she barricades you out of your own home...destroying everything in your name.

That's real sh*t. Most guy's won't go on TV like we will to tell the story. Sorry, dudes. We have a lot of power.

xcesiv_77 , Kim Davies Report

Final score:

67points

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Bob Stuart 2 years ago

I got in big trouble with the Police for even expecting protection from my ex.

20points

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered The entire child custody/child support system.

4GotMyFathersFace , judy dean Report

Final score:

59points

POST

Nimitz 2 years ago

Speaking from experience, a huge problem with the system is that there's no checking up after custody has been awarded past a few months. Divorces that award full custody usually mean things were bad and change needed to happen. However, the person who gets custody can change and become a new, even worse monster, and no one comes to help the kids again

15points

Whitley continued that men in mental distress may fear that emotional disclosure and seeking help "can severely damage their employment status, future job opportunities as well as familial relationships. This can negatively affect their job retention, promotion prospects and career advancement."

It is for this reason men "may make a calculated cost-benefit analysis, deciding that the social costs of using services and breaking the silence outweighs the potential mental health benefits."

There’s also evidence that suggests that the formal mental care system can be unwelcoming for men, "and typically suffers from male gender blindness" since there are only a "few formal services devoted specifically to men’s mental health."

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Abuse from women/other men. We're told to just take it and toughen up, it builds character, puts hair on the chest etc. and we don't need support or a helping hand. F**k that.

initialsdrummer , John Morton Report

Final score:

58points

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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

I was told this by my dad. I'm female. I identify as a hetero woman. It didn't put hair on my chest, but it did give me some great frigging PTSD.

21points

Ok_Mathematician2087 , John Brooks Report

#10

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Emotional abuse of men. My BF suffered that in both his marriages and I am SO CAREFUL to not say or do anything that could make him feel the way they made him feel. I try very hard to be sure he knows I value him for who he is, just the way he is, every single day. Even he doesn't know how much damage they caused him.

I will never get over this 1950s assumption that women can't abuse men. Women abuse men way more often than anyone realizes, and the system is stacked against men in so many different ways.

To the men who have been emotionally abused, I am so sorry, and I would encourage all of you to seek therapy. It really does help. To the women who love them: don't stop loving them.

Final score:

55points

POST

Allan Breum 2 years ago

I think that the misconception stems from the fact that men can physically dominate women (usually), so when they abuse their partners, they tend to use physical abuse. Women tend to use emotional abuse, and that is difficult to spot. I mean, a bruised eye is easy for everyone to see, a bruised soul is not.

30points

Lastly, men often prefer a more informal action-based approach. However, Whitley mentioned that these are not readily available in the formal mental health care system "which typically proceeds on a 'one-size-fits-all' approach."

"All this has contributed to the growing popularity of informal action-based interventions such as men’s sheds, which are a promising and innovative practice that incorporates many essential elements of a male-friendly approach."

#11

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Height is a common thing to joke about, nobody sees a problem with it but it can really whittle away at your self worth when people always make fun of you for it

backstreetbalogna , Noise Grunt Report

Final score:

51points

POST

Helen Haley 2 years ago

I don't want to date a girraffe. If I have to get a step stool to kiss you, I just can't. Give me average or same height as me. My grandpa was all of 5'5 and one of the best men to ever exist. Height isn't everything, the people making fun of your height are morons.

18points

#12

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered There are almost always more shelters available to women experiencing homelessness. In my city, the split is about 75% beds for women and children and 25% for men.

I understand that society considers women more vulnerable, but I live in a city where it routinely gets below zero in the winter. Hypothermia doesn't care about your gender.

SalemScout , Carl Campbell Report

Final score:

51points

POST

Beth L 2 years ago

Not sure where this person lives, but around here there are whole giant dormitory buildings for men, and no resources for women unless they've become homeless due to domestic violence.

22points

HiPlainsDrifter14 , Gunnar Wrobel Report

We also contacted Timothy Wenger, the founder of The Man Effect. According to him, "There are many influencing factors as to why men are often silent when they are struggling emotionally."

"I find that it is highly dependent on the macro and micro social settings that one is raised in," he told Bored Panda. When it comes to the micro, this could range from the family setting you grow up in, your parental figures, or friends.

"From a macro perspective, how does your society as a whole perceive a man who is not mentally perfect?" Wenger asked. "Assessing those types of influences can reveal a significant amount of insight into one's own life if the time is taken to do a self-assessment."

#13

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Society doesn't seem to support a man who is without a job. There is pressure and programming for a male to be a breadwinner and no sympathy for when they want to be a house-dad.

Reason for my rant: My brother left a job due to a health issue. He has a 4yr old boy. His wife makes better money than him and they are financially secure. He worked too much which probably led to the health issue. I told him to take his time and heal. If he felt that urge to 'provide' that he could take over the house duties and give the nanny the summer off to connect with his son. I shared with him that I had been laid off a few times and each time I rushed back to getting a job even though we were secure enough because of the guilt I felt everyday of not 'providing'. He took the advice, I could see him smiling more, he started a garden with his boy, he cooked every meal and realized he loved to cook. I was happy to see him being happy again. Enter my brother's wife who says to us, "I'm the only bread winner now. I am so stressed out having to provide for this family by myself." I saw the happiness drain from him and anxiety filled that place. He is now set to start the same job he had prior just appease the guilt he has from not 'earning'. The guilt was confirmed by his wife's statement on top of the male programming of not contributing unless he is making money.

TLDR: Men don't need to be pressured to earn or be the bread winner. Society has already told us we are not contributing unless we are making money.

Final score:

42points

POST

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

That's such a sad story and I wish the point wasn't true. I think it has gotten somewhat better-there are more stay at home dad's now, but it should be even. There is no need for the stigma.

7points

OnePrettyFlyWhiteGuy , Caleb Woods Report

#14

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Insecurity in general. You’re not supposed to show that you have doubts or worries about your abilities or self-image. A man is supposed to be confident, able and self-assured. It’s not okay for men to admit that they lack self-esteem, or that they have genuine problems with their self-image, as they are seen as weaknesses in-and-of themselves.

Other men or women aren’t going to ‘bring you up’. They won’t provide emotional support and tell you it’s okay to be unconfident or to feel shame about who you are - they will simply expect that you should take it on the chin. Not everyone can be ‘that’ guy.

But, for a man, what actually makes you feel like a man is being that guy.

So you kind of walk around pretending that you’re happy, despite the fact that you’re not seen as valuable or as desireable as other men - because in doing so, you would be seen as even less valuable or desireable.

TL:DR; If you feel like sh*t and are insecure, it’s bad; but if you display that you feel like sh*t and are insecure - it’s even worse.

F**k. I’ve never really been able to put that feeling into words before, but that felt insanely good to get off my chest.

Final score:

41points

POST

Jasper Cool 2 years ago

This is part of why counseling or group therapy is so important. Men are less likely to seek mental health help and more likely to rely on a female partner for mental health support and we need to normalize guys being able to be real about this with eachother and to seek help generally. Where I live its still common for grown men to call boys girly or babies for crying. I'm raising my kiddo to hopefully know it's ok not to be an emotionless robot and that he can be real with his guy friends and seek professional help if need be. That's just too much pressure to have to go through life never showing weakness.

5points

New_Satisfaction2566 , Fox Searchlight Pictures Report

If we want to seek change, Wenger suggested that an "amazing way to positively encourage men that their struggles are normal is to facilitate conversations on this topic between young men and those whom they look up to."

He would like to remind you that you are not alone: "Depression, anxiety, or simply feeling nothing are all things others have experienced and if it is something you want to overcome, a great place to start is seeking professional help from a therapist or psychologist."

#15

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Radicalisation. Joja Rabbit is such a sweet film about this. There are a lot of young, lonely and understandably angry men and boys who are targeted by extremist groups into that kind of failsafe ideology. You can almost see it happening.

Final score:

41points

POST

angry_waffle 2 years ago

it's even worse with the internet today

13points

#16

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Crushing, black, empty, cold, never-ending, screaming-into-the-void loneliness and everyone's casual shrug when I even hint about it.

Just work, pay taxes, walk the dog, keep your mouth shut, don't have feelings, don't be short, try to keep up appearances of virility, and never, ever, whatever you do, don't let anyone know how lonely you are because they'll just sort of awkwardly giggle and change the subject.

[deleted] , Richard Kelland Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Void Boi 2 years ago

Agreed. To admit your lonely = Vulnerability = weakness.

15points

shogi_x , 176th Wing Alaska Air National Guard Report

Timothy Wenger added that the topic of men's mental health and emotional intelligence is something that needs more publicity and normalization: "I have had men of all ages reach out to me about a wide variety of struggles and oftentimes they just want to be heard. I always encourage them to find a friend to open up to and also to seek professional help if possible."

#17

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Men are frequently treated as expendable.

Even in countries with mingled militaries, men are the overwhelming majority of combat troops and thus casualties. Not to mention pretty much all child soldiers are male.

If you are male been the ages of 14-60 and happen to be anywhere near a combat zone, even if it's your own backyard, you are considered a "military age male" and a possible target.

News media regularly says things like "100 killed including 14 women and children" as if the other 86 men don't matter as much.

Something like 90% of all workplace injuries and fatalities are male. Whether men seek out more dangerous jobs or only men are selected for those jobs is debatable.

Final score:

37points

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Pisco 2 years ago

They dont see men as expendable. They see women as uncapable. Thats why they arent recruited. Not to save us.

11points

#18

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered The consequences of body shaming, it has the same effect on men as it does women. No one likes to be insulted, no matter who you are. Just because we are a different sex, does not mean our minds are so vastly different that we react differently to even the most basic of things. SOME women think we are emotionless, meant to serve them. Sorry if I had worded this wrong.

sadSmiIe , Funk Dooby Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Helen Haley 2 years ago

No one wants to be made fun of for their appearance.

15points

National_zero_phucks , https://www.flickr.com/photos/frosch50/19756138944/in/photolist-w6MnPf-2khWRwx-XyhEvq-2jspGAL-d9fiVG-2kRPCQT-4Sj58S-2fSVJSx-4otT8u-2mC7aLc-2m4EhgN-798h1a-6NWPVC-5BXBG9-f6goqc-87hXMz-ecYAzQ-RA1iR9-MVG1VE-6KueEP-2jAFxCX-7KLRC7-aoV8Gc-2inynYw-sk5j-C9Rc9F-99nMB5-2kVhPtz-2buzkyo-2m1WRVr-GZYE1D-pJV4S-drSWS6-aSDdHK-8KYvK7-2kjNLUf-G4fppT-BQuW53-vB2S2-vB2RC-vB2RL-RDL87k-6BQAuY-GNT3w2-Y9VRKG-2m1QQ3w-2muzGZT-LmLzm-2mCCZTZ-2muqUSv Report

#19

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered If you ever bring up male-centered issues in conversations with women, it always turns into "well at least you don't have it as bad as women." or "well women deal with X, so why are you complaining?" or my personal favorite "Yeah, well then change it, it only happened because the patriarchy."

Final score:

30points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

sometimes in the women vs men issues is like seeing siblings fight over stuff. "why did he/she get more?" mentality. is like because on side get something the other loses somehow. there are cases that this is true. but more often is just because we listen to this person, doesn't mean we taking away anything from you...and people will just keep bickering like siblings over cake.

11points

#20

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Male disposability. If something is dangerous, send men. Your partner can replace you easily. Your only value is what you offer to other people and the minute you are not useful anymore people cast you aside like the fungible commodity you are. I would like to be treated like I have inherent value as a person, not like I’m something to be tolerated until I’m no longer useful.

Glutenberg_Bible , chris white Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Crystal Barkhauer 2 years ago

You are worthy of love and praise. You are a living being filled with thoughts and emotions. I am so sorry that you feel like you are disposable. I see that this society has us all feeling unworthy of our lives. Sending those who need it (even if they think they don’t) virtual hugs.

13points

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#21

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Isolation. I've felt this myself, and I've done some reading about it. Men tend to become more isolated and lonely as they get older. After a certain point they don't make an effort to gain friendships and tend to shy away from any type of social engagement. I feel this way, because as of right now, I don't have a close male friend. At least not someone I can talk to about things going on with me personally. I know a lot of people, but I'm less and less engaged with them as each year passes. It concerns me as of late, because I don't want to end up a hermit, but without a solid relationship, I could see myself headed this direction in my older years.

ekimlive , Lettuce. Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Void Boi 2 years ago

I'm in a very similar spot. I stopped drinking about 4 years ago and every male friend that I hadn't already alienated disappeared. I'm married to a wonderful woman, have 3 great kids and an honestly really good life, but I am so alone. It's crushing sometimes to feel like I have no close bonds outside of my immediate family. I don't want this to be the rest of my life.

16points

#22

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered The lack of a good support system. Just because a guy has people that he hangs out with, doesn't mean he's comfortable telling them serious personal issues.

Pennsyltucky-79 , Andrew Miller Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Gigantor the Bog Monster 2 years ago

Again, re evaluate your friend circle.

0points

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#23

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Prostate cancer is second only to skin cancer in men. Lots of money goes to breast cancer research, but how much goes to prostate cancer?

Plaid_Zucchini , marc falardeau Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Crystal Barkhauer 2 years ago

It also seems like men feel like they can’t really talk about having prostate cancer, right? It’s along the whole society issue of “taking it like a man”. That phrase has damaged so many people that it’s not a wonder so many things are hushed.

17points

#24

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Easy look at the case where the guy got banned from twitch. When his computer rebooted and logged him in as he was walking passed in his boxers.

The same time a cam girl accidentally didn’t log out of twitch and did a full strip on stream. She didn’t get banned. In fact she got a few sponsors for it.

[deleted] , 玄史生 Report

Final score:

23points

POST

Frannie Kaplan 2 years ago

Never heard this story in my life

3points

#25

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Mental health. And this is coming from someone who has lived on the ideas of "you're a guy, get over yourself". It was taught to me, I didn't think much of it, and now that I'm about to hit 20, I can feel the effects like a ripple. It's actually hard for me to open up to people and when I do I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time.

Mr_Valeyard , Wikipedia Report

Final score:

21points

POST

Isaac Harvey 2 years ago

Just because I'm an 18-year-old male doesn't mean I haven't had childhood brain cancer since I was 10 or epilepsy since I was 16. And few people seem to actually react to the many side effects of my anti-seizure medications, levetiracetam and lamotrigine.

2points

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#26

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Male pattern baldness and the impact it can have on mental health and body image. Imagine being in college surrounded by guys with perfect NW1 hairlines with all these cool fades and modern trendy hairstyles while you're stuck looking like Moby or Varys from GOT. Brutal. The worst part is nobody really talks about it, it's a very hidden and taboo issue that many men go though but society refuses to truly address, so they are forced to suffer in silence.

ImpSong , Joel Kramer Report

Final score:

20points

POST

El muerto 2 years ago

bold men are often part of a joke, somehow made to simbolice male weakness (George Costanza)...I think that's why the shave look took of, respect dudes!

4points

#27

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered I work at a psychiatric hospital and out of the thirteen wards, only three are for women. The huge problem to face men is mental illness and most, if not all the patients are there because they kept taking drugs as well.

Precursor_7 , astrid westvang Report

Final score:

20points

POST

Got Myself 4 Dwarves 2 years ago

I've always thought that a lot of mental illness in men comes from being brought up in environments where they had to be "big boys" who don't cry, don't show weakness and all that bullshit. If a child isn't taught how to deal with their emotions then how are the suddenly expected to know as adults when life can get super stressful? No wonder folk turn to distraction methods of drugs and alcohol, which then starts the even faster downward slide. These kids are set up for failure but not acknowledging the fact they are human, feeling little boys who need cared for and raised with love and support. I will not set any of my children up for failure.

10points

tanktametet-pwemskan , Alin Mechenici Report

#28

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered In western culture, men are defined by what they do and not by who they are (being). So, when they retire they often develop mental illness because they are no longer "doing". this often leads to suicide.

Then there's the whole nonsense of the stoic emotionless man getting on with the work.

Final score:

19points

POST

Jaguarundi 2 years ago

My father declined rapidly after he retired. He died within a few years of stopping work.

5points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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#29

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered You can't cry. You can't have emotional issues. You are supposed to know the answer to all problems

level 1 int9r , Matthias Berg Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Helen Haley 2 years ago

Says who?

4points

#30

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Tldr: fashion options

When I get ready to go out somewhere nice I find a dress shirt and tie, perhaps a jacket. Comb my hair in the one style I can as its cut to that style. Choose between brown or black shoes, belt to match and maybe add a watch. My wife picks a shirt, on or off the shoulder, low cut or high. Pants or skirt, short or long. Stockings or not, shoes open or closed, tall or short heel. She can wear her hair up or down or a combination. Bracelets, necklace, earrings. Makeup and perfume. One could argue that these choices complicate her life but I beg to differ. She has the options to be who she wants to be at the time, to garner more attention or less, draw attention or stand out less. I get to look the same as I do at every wedding, funeral or night out.

LitterGrabber , Brian Evans Report

Final score:

18points

POST

Beth L 2 years ago

This is just a guy who is afraid to stand out in a crowd. Get a unique haircut. Get a pair of blue suede shoes. Bring vests back.

15points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#31

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered I'm late to the party so this will get lost, but in my experience it feels like dudes are expected to work 70+ hour weeks and be proud of it, or else they're lazy. Like, nah.

I'm going to be working at least 65 hours next week between two jobs (which is fu*king plenty) and that includes both daytime and overnight shifts. If I complain for even a sentence though, I'm going to be sh*t talked by the crew when they think I can't hear them.

I'm tired. I like doing things that aren't work. That sh*t just isn't sustainable for some people.

SkipperDaglessMD , Richard Leeming Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Naesil 2 years ago

This is more cultural thing I guess (American or Asian) here my contract says 37,5h per week and thats what I do, no one expects me to do more.

4points

#32

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Inter male violence .

I’m 5 9 and guys that are bigger have no problem being a douche or even violent with me . I have to watch myself more than others as a result, I have been punched out for bumping into the wrong person.

The cops didn’t help either again cause I’m a guy, they basically thought I started it and should’ve defended myself. When in reality I bumped into someone drunk and he decided to punch me in the back of the head repeatedly .

I got zero help from the cops.

If that happened to a girl they would’ve been all over it .

IamARedditUserOk , Kristin Wall Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Naesil 2 years ago (edited)

While women do get violently abused a lot more (in relationships), male to male "casual violence" is pretty common, I have been attacked several times when I was younger, I have seen guys hit unconscious for cutting in a line to atm etc... never personally had to hit anyone outside of training or competition, but I have had to throw people down and pin them in self defense and wait that bouncer or security comes to throw us both out.

4points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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#33

Someone Asked “What Are Some Men’s Issues That Are Overlooked?”, And 30 People Delivered Loneliness that arises from the difficulty of finding partners in a dating environment that is shaped by online dating. (I've noticed that, on average, it takes much longer for single men in my friend circles who are farther from male beauty norms to find a partner. Note: this isn't to say that dating is simply "harder for men," as women face a greater threat of violence.)

Loneliness due to how men are socialized regarding making close friendships and sharing their emotions.

Mental health issues exacerbated by (1) loneliness and the lack of a support network and (2) men being socialized to believe that they can't share emotions, that certain emotions are a form of weakness, and being met by ridicule and a lack of validation in some circles.

Being vulnerable to radicalization, partly due to loneliness.

Being unable to talk about being victims of sexual assault for fear of seeming weak and unmanly, exacerbated by weak support networks.

Being threatened by or pressured into violent confrontation with other men over ridiculous nonsense as a way to settle disagreements and conflict.

TheMoniker , Kimmo Räisänen Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Kishibe Angelo 2 years ago

there is also that thing were men will tell eachother dont be a bitch or a pussy when you don't want to have sex or being called crazy for not wanting to date someone not in your preference

0points

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Julija Svidraitė is an editor here at Bored Panda who has a bachelor's degree in Psychology. Before starting her journey at BP, she had worked as a social media specialist at a marketing agency. She has also tried herself in a few different fields working as an intern: from practicing graphic design at a social media marketing agency, to being an assistant at a psychiatric hospital. Besides writing, Julija is also very passionate about illustrating, drinking coffee, and watching crime documentaries. You can find her in Bored Panda Office or reach her at julija.s@boredpanda.com.

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Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

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Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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What do you think ?

POST

Shelp 2 years ago

At first I thought to myself ''if I comment too much on that post, people may think I'm an incel or a misogynistic pig''. And then I asked myself if that wasn't part of the problem too

16points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

Or a "hateful feminist bi*ch" in mny case. A lot of this is cultural, and to change culture, we need to raise children to stop thinking these ways. It's not who wins the "I'm a victim!" contest. It's that we shouldn't see these problems (abuse, rape, mental illness) being disregarded! no matter who the victim is or isn't.

17points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

You sound like part of the solution

4points

Pisco 2 years ago

It depends on the comment. Men face a lot of challenges due to sexism, same as women. We areall damaged by sexism and should be tey to fix it. Some of the comments here are great. But most are just men bashing women and spreading hate against them when men are the ones in charge and opossing feminism, which is thw mivement teying to get rid of the cause of those issues.

2points

Jo Choto 2 years ago

All these posts are true, and the problems are genuine. Toxic masculinity has hurt everyone in society, including men. I feel like a lot of these men are in the same place that women were at the beginning of feminism, fighting for equality and fairness and respect. To change the dynamics of manhood, you are going to encounter resistance and ridicule and prejudice. I wish it wasn't so, but if you look at how long women have been fighting for equality, it's easy to imagine that it's going to take a long time for men to counteract decades of limitations on what it means to be a man. It will not be given to you on a plate. You will have to fight for it. And sadly, too many men and women are conditioned to the point where they won't accept change. As women we have lived these struggles. It makes me so sad to think that men are now having the exact same struggles, because we still have not evolved as humans.

15points

Ian Smith 2 years ago

"all these problems are men's fault"

-1point

K Witmer 2 years ago

Men deserve to be treated w kindness and deserve to be listened to just like any other group. I just wish it wasn't so hard to get through to the angry ones. The ones that claim are oppressed. How do you combat that? How do you instill feminism in a group that doesn't understand what feminism truly is? Also generational trauma. How do you convince someone that's so full of hate to go to therapy? Especially when it's someone that can hurt you physically? Men need to help other men like women help other women. We set up our own networks and the men that are our allies help us too. Ultimately it starts w teaching boys. Parents need to help their little boys.

14points

Helen Haley 2 years ago

Men made this society what it is. They still have the majority of power. If you don't like the social mores that you are forced (self-reinforced) to live by, get some therapy, break out of the mold, and talk with your fellow men about better ways to be and do things in the world. Women have an ongoing discussion about what it means to be a woman in todays world. Get that going on the mens side. Because right now there seems to be a prevalence of just pining for the 50's. Stand up for what is right, and for the love of bob, raise boys the way you wish you were raised and go to therapy so you can learn emotional expression. These are not insurmountable problems.

7points

steven 2 years ago

Ian sweetie, unfortunately you're not bright enough to realise that that d*ck swinging idiots like you are the problem

-3points

Nimitz 2 years ago

The thing that drove me nuts as a kid growing up in a house with a single mother and three older sisters was the double standard when it came to attractiveness. A man judging a woman by her looks was despicable, but when it came to dating, all the women in my family went for pretty men first. Only one of them, eventually, found a man of quality. So many shitty bros! And yet, they knew what they were getting into

6points

Got Myself 4 Dwarves 2 years ago

I refuse to raise my sons to feel like they have to be emotionless workaholics - to always let them know their feelings are valid and it's important to talk about them. So much of todays standards are so very antiquated and while men of the past basically made it what it is I will not let my sons suffer because of it. That's really one of the only and most important contributions I can make. It really needs to stop being a life that we live for our daily audience and start living for ourselves - I mean, what is the point ? So someone might have an arsey comment to make, is it really worth being miserable over? My husband genuinely doesn't give a flying f**k what anyone thinks about him, and while I'm so much better than I used to be I really envy his complete freedom to be himself.

6points

foxxy(Not original) 2 years ago

when i was 5 i hit my head on the steel door in front of my apartment. i had a huge bump on my head. my dad took me to 7-11 and this woman came up to me and asked me what happened. when i told her, she leaned close and whispered to me, "you can tell me what really happened."

5points

Brendan Roberts 2 years ago

My God, that's awful!

2points

ZombieGirl 2 years ago

To all the men, and people who identify as men.....you are valuable and worthy and I hope you don't have to deal with too much of the things listed here.

4points

Zoe 2 years ago

How did we get into this situation? Where we are treated particular ways because of our gender? Why/how have women become so oppressed and men have become disposable for example. How did it start?

3points

Linda Lee 2 years ago

I think it's been happening since caveman days. Hunters and gatherers. In the US, the Equal Rights Ammendment never passed. Equal rights doesn't mean more for me, less for you, it means equal. Women had to be granted the right to vote from men. It wasn't until the 1970's that a woman could even get a credit card without her husband or father even though she qualified and had a paying job. I think we are making progress and we need to remember that neither men nor women are the enemy. We need to support our fellow human beings. More empathy.

2points

Bob Stuart 2 years ago

When I try to post about men's issues on Bored Panda, I am regularly censored.

3points

HandyDan 2 years ago

How about the societal norm of showing men to be bumbling fools, or ignorant. Women like to talk a lot about how they are talked over in meetings, their ideas are automatically rejected, or they have things "mansplained to them". Women are just as bad about doing these things to men as men are to women. Also, nobody ever defends men, and when men try to stand up for themselves, they are called "incel" or worse. Bored Panda is really bad about putting up posts about men getting owned, or posts elevating women "victories" over men. This is the first post I have seen on this website that is in any way encouraging to men.

2points

Aeon Flux 2 years ago

The fact that many of these posts overlap shows the severity of the problem of men's sadness/depression, need to seem invulnerable, isolation, and health. I really hope the men reading this post feel a little less alone because of this, and a little more capable of speaking out when they're troubled.

2points

Lou Lopez 2 years ago (edited)

These are all just the reverse side of the Patriarchy Coin that feminists keep talking about. The idea only women can be good parents because men "aren't meant to" is patriarchy. The idea that men have no complex emotions because those are "girly" is also patriarchy. Women can't be soldiers (so men HAVE to). Patriarchy. Men have to be the breadwinner (because women aren't good enough to make more money than a man and their place is in the house). Patriarchy. Therapy is for sissies. Patriarchy. Stop fighting the idea that entrenched social norms are unchangeable facts instead of engrained ideas (memes in the original meaning). It's not about who has it worse, it's about "we are all suffering" and need to start supporting each others goals. It can be done.

2points

קוורטון דיבולוס 2 years ago

its not just patriarchy, its also matriarchy, its both,

0points

De Gueb 2 years ago

How come it's ok for my female neighbours to aske me round to, change a bulb, install the printer and fix things in general, oh my car wont start, knock knock on my door, electrics gone, oh!!! my remote battery is dead. etc tec. but I can't aske them round to iron my shirts?

1point

Ian Smith 2 years ago

Nothing about being blamed for all of the evil in the world, past or present. It's exhausting.

1point

Ally Joy 2 years ago

You add nothing to the conversation but negativity

0points

קוורטון דיבולוס 2 years ago

the only thing we have left now are cats

0points

Wintermute 2 years ago

The issues are easy to identify by the problems they create.

0points

Frannie Kaplan 2 years ago

Not to go off topic but most of these problems are identical to women's. In short the infrastructures we have in place don't really work for anyone. It's just borderline useless.

0points

Veronica Sjöberg 2 years ago

I wish men understood that feminism isn't about only women's rights, it's about equality and less sexism for all. Still so many men fear feminism and ask "why can't there be a movement for us?" "What about men?" when they could just join the feminism movement and we could battle sexism for all humans together.

0points

Nuno Carvalho 2 years ago

What about sex? We can never be tired or have an headache...

-1point

Lucie Pfeiferová 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

Evil Little Thing 2 years ago

All these problems are consequences of toxic masculinity.

-3points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

All these problems are consequences of people being sh*tty to each other.

5points

Pezor Zass 2 years ago

i can't tell you how much i hate that term. If a man believes that women are inherently inferior, that's toxic masculinity, right? what if a woman thinks that (as was recently posted on this site); is that still toxic masculinity? is it toxic femininity? is there a point to differentiating? wouldn't it be more accurate and less stigmatizing to just say toxic gender stereotyping? and it is absolutely stigmatizing and will absolutely result in some idiot men getting their backs up and lashing out, which is in no way justified on their part, but also is not in any way helping the situation. if your solution alienates the people whose behaviour needs to change, then it's a poor solution.

4points

Pisco 2 years ago

The downvotes in your comment show that most men in the thread arent interested in the cause of their probelms (sexism) and in solving them. They are here solely to spread hate against women.

1point

Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

You know what. Maybe you are a little evil thing. - the Men

0points

POST

Shelp 2 years ago

At first I thought to myself ''if I comment too much on that post, people may think I'm an incel or a misogynistic pig''. And then I asked myself if that wasn't part of the problem too

16points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

17points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

You sound like part of the solution

4points

Pisco 2 years ago

2points

Jo Choto 2 years ago

15points

Ian Smith 2 years ago

"all these problems are men's fault"

-1point

K Witmer 2 years ago

14points

Helen Haley 2 years ago

7points

steven 2 years ago

Ian sweetie, unfortunately you're not bright enough to realise that that d*ck swinging idiots like you are the problem

-3points

Nimitz 2 years ago

6points

Got Myself 4 Dwarves 2 years ago

6points

foxxy(Not original) 2 years ago

5points

Brendan Roberts 2 years ago

My God, that's awful!

2points

ZombieGirl 2 years ago

To all the men, and people who identify as men.....you are valuable and worthy and I hope you don't have to deal with too much of the things listed here.

4points

Zoe 2 years ago

How did we get into this situation? Where we are treated particular ways because of our gender? Why/how have women become so oppressed and men have become disposable for example. How did it start?

3points

Linda Lee 2 years ago

2points

Bob Stuart 2 years ago

When I try to post about men's issues on Bored Panda, I am regularly censored.

3points

HandyDan 2 years ago

2points

Aeon Flux 2 years ago

2points

Lou Lopez 2 years ago (edited)

2points

קוורטון דיבולוס 2 years ago

its not just patriarchy, its also matriarchy, its both,

0points

De Gueb 2 years ago

1point

Ian Smith 2 years ago

Nothing about being blamed for all of the evil in the world, past or present. It's exhausting.

1point

Ally Joy 2 years ago

You add nothing to the conversation but negativity

0points

קוורטון דיבולוס 2 years ago

the only thing we have left now are cats

0points

Wintermute 2 years ago

The issues are easy to identify by the problems they create.

0points

Frannie Kaplan 2 years ago

Not to go off topic but most of these problems are identical to women's. In short the infrastructures we have in place don't really work for anyone. It's just borderline useless.

0points

Veronica Sjöberg 2 years ago

0points

Nuno Carvalho 2 years ago

What about sex? We can never be tired or have an headache...

-1point

Lucie Pfeiferová 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

Evil Little Thing 2 years ago

All these problems are consequences of toxic masculinity.

-3points

Leo Domitrix 2 years ago

All these problems are consequences of people being sh*tty to each other.

5points