Life essentials!

spoiler alert :-D

Poor girl...

Damnit Janet!

This has to be higher on the list!

This is rather sad than funny.

He's got a point.

At this point, answer an imaginary phone call in that very language. And slow turn and smile devilishly at their horrified expressions

Thank you for this :D

I admire the upbringing you have given him!

Having a sex playlist is not awkward enough? And regarding the anthem: everyone should STAND UP anyway...

If only I can do that as an adult

I believe her. She is alive.

Remember: always wear pants. It saves you from trouble.

That's so relatable.

Not an invalid demand.

No shame here but I was the same way when I got on my first flight at 18 years old lol

"Because I am bloody fabulous"

And this is why you don't gossip in front of children.

has-been is even better

I do this with my daughter. I'm always closest to the street and on those rare occasions when she comes in my room in the middle of the night to get in my bed, I always sleep closest to the door just in case I gotta pull out my Kimber Solo and whoop some intruders a*s. Hahahahaha.

This even happens to me with my own age.

Universal Studios has sent their spies in again...

Perhaps he is... who knows...

It felt like a dialogue right out of sister act!

Dad's sighing cuz actually he wanna engage in super awesome space travel but can't :(

I'm so confused. Why would you EVER skip dinner at nana's?! I don't get it!

lol

Haha ^^;; Not all marriages are sad

The all new, protein-enriched Snape-o-Balm. Scars from taming dragons, magical tournaments, or dark wizard encounters? With our new formula, your skin nevet before felt so enchanted!

I don't like most kids but when I hear little children that crazy, I know they'd be something one day

Pets have this thing about them

She must have watched Snow White !

Still some years to go.

And he's right!

hmm - I'm British and it took me a few moments to figure that xing was not actually a chinese word - well, ok it is!

Maybe fifth? I would propose that as the handyman. Particularly in a three-storey building.

Least he's honest...?

In a few years she will understand that faster is not always better

I'm not either. You don't shoot a gun with your hips. If he tried, I have a feeling that it would not work out very well.

too much food for thought ...

What's even MORE sad is the folks that just can't find humor in life. Why so serious?

What is this about "white guys"? Why would their skin colour matter in this regard? So annoying that "guys" is always qualified with a skin colour...

:( I don't care if this comment gets down voted, I cannot keep this inside: This is an awful thing to say to any child of any age. We don't own anyone, not even our kids. They are PEOPLE, with their own bodies, their own brains, their own feelings and opinions and no one owns them. not their parents, no one. they are not belongings or things or slaves.

If I close the door, my dog paws at it until I open up. We've taught her to do this on our door if she wants in or out as we don't live alone. Although when I leave for work in the morning and she does it to the front door it pulls at my heart.

Funny how an e instead of an a killed this too.

"....before we have to beat you up, bro.."

*notes it down*

Your hero, my spirit animal.

That's one way to thwart unnecessary advances!

You sure he wasn't a Minion?

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Face plam

I mean at least it wasn't money instead of underwear

Ok well you MIGHT wanna go to those classes...

This is, no joke, why I didn't get anything more than a trim for 10 years of my life.

That's DEFINITELY good!

I once saw a women with the tiniest bag going through bag check and the guy found a Stanley knife in her bag - she just said 'oh i forgot I had it.' YOU HAD THE TINIEST BAG HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW........lip balm, purse, knife......yer we are good 😲😲😲😲😲