In 2008 I attempted suicide.
I was hospitalized and I lost everything. When I got out I lost my job, my car, my home, everything. I was 24 with no education outside of a high school diploma, and I knew only how to sell things to people, which I hated.
I dreamt of traveling the world and seeing new places but I'd done nothing close to that. I lost focus of everything. I thought money was the key to happiness and I chased that. Feeling devoid of everything, I really thought that there was no reason to continue. I had my shot at life and I blew it. My family convinced me to go back to university, despite my appeals that I was too old.
I became a teacher, I volunteered as a coach for the Special Olympics, and I worked with at risk youth. I found that what made me happy was making kids who I could empathize with happy. Making them feel that they were cared for, that a stranger could invest in them, and believe in them. I haven't looked back since.
This situation has brought back old emotions, it's taken away from me so much of what I feel I need to be happy and I feel disconnected from the very humans I only want to better. I've had to adapt, and in that, I've come to see, slowly, that I have much to be grateful for.
Today I moved into my dream flat. I'm a kid from an extremely humble, and very young family in the desert of west Texas with a dream to travel the world and today I feel accomplished. My home today is a place I could only dream of as a child and couldn't fathom in 2008. I still struggle, every day in fact, but I know that I have a purpose, and through a laptop or in person, it doesn't matter, I know there are tiny humans who need to be believed in and I'm happy to do that! I loved every single student that I've had and I don't say that because it's what a teacher should say, I say it because I mean it. Today I feel OK, and that's always a step on the right direction for anyone.