That's a level of snark I can only hope to attain

Well alrighty then, have fun! lol

Sounds like there are two options here: Sally needs to be taught about self-control; or she needs to be in nappies / diapers.

I like the manager, I'd do the same.

Explains a lot about election results.

"Why dies it smell manure?" "We gave up on pottytraning the hippopotamus.."

They drove 17 hours to go to a farmer's market? Do they live on the moon?

I'd lose my mind if I had to answer questions like this on a regular basis.

"ah yes, madam. That would be our limited edition spit syrup - we reserve it for customers we know are going to be a pain in the butt"

And the 'Prosciutto di Parma' was to dry? 🙃

The waiter would have the right to finish peeing on her table. Or into her purse.

I like that instant water. All you have to do is add water.

Cardigans for all those women who get froze out during AC weather.

So she was Kinkos shaming her for not doing a good enough jobb?

Okay, so I pictured beans like the magical fruit kind, and was like "caffeinated farts, why?"

No reason to get bent out of shape.

I work in a chip shop and had our new guy (16m) ask if our chips were skinless and what would happen if he put his hand in the 200'plus degree oil...

Sure, once I'm getting the 10%.

Because... it's not?

"Do they belive in gravity?"

The manager or the police?

Yup, as a ´gardener’ and a female one, they seem to think that they’re doing you a favor , think they can pay you minimum wage when you use your own equipment and you can manifest wonderful gardens from F.A !

He was on a secret mission.

Betrayal of the highest order!

I feel like there's a "screw you" joke in there somewhere...

"Could you change ghe channel also?"

Or "that will be $10 more" 😏

Only at a seance.

A glucose father.

FAO Schwartz has great stuffed animals

🤦‍♂️

Bah humbug.

Is this code for something?

Not really surprised since these people expected a server to (?) comfort/ tend to a stranger's child. Entitlement- its a helluva druhg 🤷‍♀️

"You know clu clu bird" 766977-tur...nature.jpg

They may be enquiring so you have the opportunity to say "sorry, that one's just run out."

"No, only Whoppsies"

TBF if I just saw 'latte' on a menu I wouldn't have a clue if it was coffee or tea or just what it say, milk, in the absence of someone telling me otherwise .

"10 minutes on 200° should be the same as 1 minute on 2000°"

These are just space filler questions. They know you do and are just getting the convo started. Just answer and roll along.

"Let me check!"

Maybe said person was smitten by you, and couldn't find the words. I say person was attracted to you. Hope you let them down easy!

If it had any less sugar, I'm pretty sure it'd be bread... edit: fixed bad wording :)

I can see this happening often.

Worst. Pickup line. Ever.

"There's certainly something suspicious about it"

Sure, ma'am! With the additional batshit crazy customer fee, that'll be 1,000.00.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say... cherry?

?