I started out reading expecting to have some sympathy for the husband's situation, thinking it would be a case of a man who cannot face who he is, so throws himself into being what he sees as the straight, married with children, but then finds he can't keep living with the pretence. A really shitty thing to do to her, but at least he would have not been intending to hurt her, thinking he could make it work. However the fact that he had a long term partner already shows he knew exactly who he was and was comfortable with it, he just did not want to deal with the effects that would have on his life. She could have just thrown the MIL out her house and said nothing, however he intentionally put the wife in this position, so can deal with the fallout

Yep have grounds for an annulment, marrying under false pretenses.

as a queer girl with homophobic family, nta. this guy is such a jerk, using you, cheating, and then blaming you for the divorce. You were completely justified and i hope you get away from this piece of s**t and find happiness with someone who loves you

he went into the relationship knowing it was a lie and used her that is far more cruel than what he did because it was what he planned all along what she did was done in a moment of anger NTA

This complete sack of shít married her and had kids with her while having an entire relationship the whole time and he’s saying she ruined his life? What a disgustingly selfish piece of shît. He deserves every bit of pain he’s going through. She’s actually lucky his family is so trashy, because otherwise he’d get away with no consequences for his lies. I think fundamentalists shouldn’t exist but oh well in this case. He seems like he doesn’t see women as humans anyway.

a person being gay/straight/trans/bi should not be an excuse for toxicity. period.

F**k him. You are a saint. He's a manipulative s**t who used you as a baby factory then had the f*****g audacity to blame you for the divorce. Tell his family every little worried detail for his affair. Being gay has nothing to do with his disgusting behaviour. He deserves it all. Of you did have kids, keep them the f**k away from him forever. They deserve a pile of air so much more than a dad like that in their lives.

NTA. In fact, you're my hero. Never be anybody's door mat.

That happened to a friend of mine, Perfect family, Church on Sundays, 3 kids catholic schools, conservative..... She caught him getting pegged in their own bed, never told his family or the kids.

NTA. He lied to you, used you, wasted you time, hopes and dreams, and he knew exactly what he was doing the whole time. F**k him. F**k his family. That entire thing is his problem to deal with, not yours. He's a spineless cowardly child and you're done with him. His mother had no right to corner you and berate you, he could have easily told the family that your breakup was private and for them not to interfere, but sounds like he didn't care about any of the aftereffects of the breakup on you. Another reason to say f**k him. She deserved to get chewed out by you, he deserved to get abuse from his family for being a liar ON EVERY FRONT, and you deserve to be free of this stupidity. Tell him to grow up and become a man, and that he's not financially dependent on his family so he can tell them to f**k off, his relationship with them is not your responsibility. Good luck to you. Mail him a 'bag of dic*s' for fun. (BagOfDic*s.com)

The son is as bad as his mother. Both narcissist and making excuses

Karma is a bitch. You can’t throw someone under the bus and then cry when they tell the truth, this is all caused by living a lie and willing to fool someone to get what you need from them. Honesty in this situation maybe the best thing for him. He needed to get right with everything and his actions brought it to life one way or another. If he was honest with you this wouldn’t have happened but he made you believe a lie so he can use you for his own purpose instead. He made his bed.

If you trust someone with a deep secret then f-them over and lie about it making them look like the problem then you deserve what you get.

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"mormon shunning kind" Thats my religion and anybody who shuns people cuz they are gay are not following the gospel.

Two wrongs don't make a right. His actions were wrong and he should be held accountable for cheating. Her outing him to his mother was also wrong. I'm gay and my mother is extremely religious and homophobic. I no longer have a relationship with her, but the thought of her finding out I'm gay is scary. She really would stop loving me.

Not violent? ALL humans are violent, all you need is the right (or wrong) set of circumstances. Ask Lt Kenda.....the stupid things people have committed violence over and to whom.....I feel sorry for your husband, hopefully, ex, and hopefully he has a nice life with someone who truly loves him.

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I'll go with ESH. Two wrongs doesn't make one right. Sure, it was shitty how he treated you, and also how his mother treated you. But honestly? Why do you care what the family thinks of you? After the divorce you'll probably never see them again. You gained absolutely nothing by outing him, but he lost everything.

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Both are. She had every right to tell the mom that he was cheating on her, however what he did to her is not worth ruining his life. He probably loves his family and now they will likely shun him forever. What does that do to a person? One (obvs pretty big bad) wrong deed does not give a good enough reason to do that to someone. Plus, the decision on when/if to come out is a very personal right.

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I'd say YTA. There can be an enormous pressure on gays to pretend they're straight and even life a fake life with a partner they don't love so nobody notices they're actually gay. I had a friend half a decade ago who was outed by his ex after she found out he's actually gay. He committed suicide a while after.