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Acting like a "lady", smiling at strangers while walking down the street, looking like you just stepped out of a magazine cover — these are just a few things society assumes women want to do every day. Of course, it would be wrong to say that expectations for women haven’t changed in recent years. They certainly have, and for the better. But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.
Rubbergloves44 asked women of Reddit to share some of the outdated things they are expected to live up to, and they delivered. More than a thousand comments flooded the thread with subtle and not-so-subtle ways people set ridiculous presumptions about female behavior.
Whether it’s believing all women want children or need to be devoted to their lousy husbands, Bored Panda has selected some of the best answers from the thread. Upvote our favorites as you go, and let us know in the comments the outdated beliefs you personally think need to change right away.
This post may include affiliate links.
#3
Being docile and passive. We’re expected to take so much c**p on a daily basis without complaining. Sexual harassment? it’s just a compliment. Sexual assault? you had it coming. do you really want to ruin his life? Periods or any type of pain/illness? it’s not that bad. The amount of mental labor we’re expected to do is exhausting, but we have to do it or nothing would get done. And then men get offended and call us names when we assert ourselves or express any emotion other than happiness. Our boundaries are constantly trampled and we’re supposed to just take it with a smile. It’s so frustrating!
#4
Taking care of a husband like he is an overgrown toddler incapable of doing anything for himself
#5
A woman must be lady like
You know how I feel about that one? (Farts loudly) that’s how I feel
#6
Having to defy the normal process of ageing and that ageing somehow diminishes our worth.
#7
A man can walk away from a pregnancy or a family and go on with life without a bat of an eye from society but heaven forbid a woman ever walk away from her kids
#8
That all women want a man/relationship.
I'm happily single for years and don't want to be in a relationship. I don't get why people assume that single women aren't as happy as the ones in a relationship, when it was proven that single women are the happiest population out there.
#9
That doctors STILL do not provide adequate health care for us. And the fact that we still don't have autonomy of our bodies (in the US)
#10
That we shouldn’t show anger. Men always talk about how hard it is that when they cry, they’re called a pussy or something like that. I agree that that is a valid issue and I wish it weren’t that way, but I also wish that women could express anger without getting called a b***h or being called irrational. We get asked if we’re menstruating, we get told we’re overreacting. Just once I’d like to feel free to be angry.
#12
Dressing for men. I see many people tell women that they should not dye or cut their hair, not get tattoos, or wear certain fashion because it is unappealing to men. However, a lot of women nowadays (like me) dress for themselves and not for male pleasure.
#15
Ugh, I live in the Southern US & the whole “wife must fix husbands dinner plate before hers or the children’s” is strong here. I get in debates all the time about this—it agitates me to no end. I don’t know why. It just comes off very misogynistic.
The reasoning I’ve heard from people I know is that “if your husband works hard then he should not have to fix his own food when he comes home” as if women don’t also work hard & almost always have to pull the second shift if kids are involved. I don’t understand why it’s such a debate. If it matters who eats first, then it should be the kids. If there’s no kids, then who cares? Both spouses can make their own plate or one (either one) can make both plates. I’m not a housewife or a waitress for my husband. We are equals, we both work & gender roles are outdated as hell.
#17
That they need to wear makeup to look presentable — think a professional setting, a lot of people have the notion that it is lazy for a woman to not have ANY makeup on.
Now I wear makeup sometimes and sometimes I don’t, I just think it’s an outdated expecting that half of the population has never had.
#18
Vulgar language is not feminine.
Stopped counting how many times I was told that but I always told them to f**k themselves
#19
Be thin.
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Lost a patient in ER Tuesday to her eating disorder. She'd struggled for 35 years, against odds, to even live that long with anorexia and bulimia. She's been cycling in and out of treatment for... Well, we got to know her. RIP, S, and if your doctor is okay with your body? Then you can be, too. OK? Please? Thanks.
Luther von Wolfen 2 years ago
I like my women like my cats - plump, furry and asleep on the windowsill.
Robert Thompson 2 years ago
As a member of Gen X I still feel this pressure put on by movies and other media.
Kishibe Angelo 2 years ago
i dont like this one. my gf isalways asking if she needs to diet and i always tell her no because idc what other people think i think she is perfect. everyone is perfect in my opinion
Tom 2 years ago
Everyone is perfect? You think morbidly obese people are perfect? You think TRUMP is perfect? W. T. F.
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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Growing up, all I heard over and over from my adoptive mom (who is obese herself): “Your biological parents are skinny as rails. Your biological mom is as flat as a board. You’ll be skinny and flat-chested effortlessly, all your life. Genetics!” HAHA MOM I SHOWED YOU I GOT FAT AND I GREW BIG OLD JAHOOBIES
Sharron Lindsay 2 years ago
Social media perpetuates this as the perfect ideal and it's sooooo damaging to young women
Tom 2 years ago
No one forces them to be on social media. My friends and I never were even though facebook and twitter were all the rage. lol
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GramDB 2 years ago
There's … too thin, but also, there's... too heavy. A happy medium is best in all things.
Egg 2 years ago
This. Being overweight should not be celebrated or encouraged, BUT the same thing goes for being too thin. People should strive to be a HEALTHY weight.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
UGH! This mentality that you're only pretty if you're thin. I'm easily 30 pounds overweight and still a Goddess! I'm perfectly healthy, just a bit bigger. And you know what? I much rather enjoy that pasta than be some neurotic thin girl who has to weigh her food.
2022emmam trent 2 years ago
Being thin sucks. You're always cold and if you miss a meal due to something, you feel like you're gonna be sick. The only good thing is that your elbows make great weapons because they're so bony.
Brian Bennett 2 years ago
I was very thin when I was young and was ridiculed the nicked named scrawny. When I got older got into sports and gained muscle mass - no one called me names then but I never dieted ate anything I want and still do no one is ever going to tell me what I can and can't consume. I am who I am if you don't like it you don't have to. Just don't call me any names.
Jeff Gabrisl 2 years ago
My wife is thick and curvy, she showed me a picture of her in high school when she was thin. I would never have been attracted to when she was thin like that. We go to restaurants and she eats more than I do, she isn't gaining weight, she just stays beautiful! I couldn't love her more, but if she did gain a few lbs, I wouldn't love her less. I'm just happy that she eats every thing I cook. There is something so satisfying about just giving her the bigger portion, and her being happy!
Susan Williams 2 years ago
So many men and women don't understand the body's need to have fat on it for good health
JuliusCeaserthelesser 2 years ago
I'm currently skinny and I kinda hate it, I'm trying to gain weight so I can be healthy and not constantly cold
El Dee 2 years ago
Most women re not thin. But I notice that most women getting married, in relationships (of any kind) are not thin either. It seems not to be something that men (or women who are in relationships with other women) are concerned about. This is something being pushed on women by media with the express purpose of making women feel inadequate..
Nicole Miller 2 years ago
Anorexia and disordered eating is what I remember from the late 90s and early 2000s. Which is why I shudder when I see a return to a rigid thin ideal... we are NEVER going back to those times, you can't make us!
Scarlett 2 years ago
That’s a bit rude. We can’t always help being skinny; it’s sometimes our metabolism.
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Mike Beck 2 years ago
Ain't no way she's hot. Anybody that skinny is about as appealing as a fencepost. If that's your fetish, fine; but your constant bragging is starting to make me think you've never touched her.
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#20
That women can’t do anything. Fixing things, manual labor, etc. I hate when my girlfriends say “I’m waiting on him to do this or that and it’s frustrating.” How about you get off your a*s and figure it out like he did. Lol
#21
Being event coordinator, sender of household thank you notes, purchasing holiday gifts
#25
That women automatically make better caregivers (children or the elderly).
#26
Having to smile and accommodate other people’s awkward and rude behavior. The- “I’m sorry I can’t help but to say or notice” and what they is creepy, unwarranted, intrusive, interrupting, offensive etc. Get out of my space! I don’t care that my voice is unusually high pitched or that whatever you noticed or have to say about me.
#27
Sex isn’t a right when you’re in a relationship. You have to maintain other parts of the relationship to keep that flame alive. “You must be cheating” isn’t going to make the situation any better.
#28
That woman have to take birth control (hormonal) in a long term relationship
#29
Giving birth. It is the second most terrifying and painful thing a person can go through, the first is burning alive. The industry is great at hiding the many difficulties of pregnancy just to further the human race. You can permanently lose grey matter in your brain, weaken your bladder, develop allergies?? during and after pregnancy. Don't even get me started on the labour itself- i have no idea why any informed woman would want that. just google 4th degree tears and you'll be put off for life
#30
It's mind blowing how many guys expect you to be a free therapist to them. Like, uh, I didn't sign up for this.
What do you think ?
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
I cut my hair from a longish Bob to a buzz cut. Everyone asked how my husband would feel about it, what if he preferred long hair. If he prefers long hair, he can grow his own!
Novel Idesa 2 years ago
When I cut my hair short I remember a family member said "You know, men prefer long hair," and I said, "Well men should grown their hair long then." That shut them up.
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Yumiko 2 years ago
the future will look upon is and our time and think we were barbaric middle ages. what's the justification for paying women less than men again ?
Immortal Emperor Paradox 2 years ago
The level of order determines the the amount of equality between the majority/stronger/oppressor group and the minority/weaker/oppressed group in a society/community. This may apply to almost all facets, like race, caste, sex, culture, ethnicity, etc. We've come a long way from when women were treated as objects, to chattels, to humans, although not absolutely. It's a given that the far future would be a much better place for everyone, including women. For our descendants, we would just be inferior, savage old farts.
Load More Replies...
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago (edited)
Being called a Karen if you stand up for yourself or express any discontent. Send your undercooked chicken back in a restaurant? You’re a Karen. Want a company to honor their warranty? Karen. Expect a clerk to wait on you instead of the man who arrived after you? Karen. And on and on.
Kristin Ingersoll 2 years ago
That's... not what "Karen" means - it's how you go about things. And the fact that you're that clueless means... you might want to take a look at how you complain.
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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
I'd like to publicly thank my mom, who managed to uninstall a lot of this in me before I even hit puberty, despite it being prevailing thinking of the time, and it being how she was raised.
Viney24 2 years ago
this is one my sister got a lot... shaving. women are expected to shave their legs armpits and other parts that they should only shave if they want to
Robert Thompson 2 years ago
I never understood this one. How has "hair" become ugly? Some covergirl stereotypes make sense to me, but not this one.
Load More Replies...
Kensi 2 years ago (edited)
I got one too. I enjoy going to events (theatre for example) by myself (I am a woman) and for many men so far it has been like an invitation to come to me and (and I quote): "to keeping me company because I'm there alone". I never noticed it would happen to my male friend. I don't go there to meet men but simply to enjoy time there by myself.
whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago
I was taught to be submissive to men growing up, and to always look pleasing to men. F**k that. I'm still recovering from my misogynistic upbringing.
Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 2 years ago
If yall liked this yall should probably read the book "Cinderella is dead"
Jo Choto 2 years ago
Almost all of these issues relate to how the woman is perceived by the man for doing/not doing a thing. Fact is, the second women stop wanting the approval and desire of men, they will stop caring about doing or not doing most of the things on this list. We have the power. We have the choice.
Ashlie 2 years ago
Except when it comes to employment. The majority of higher management positions, boards of directors, etc. are held by men. Every time diversity is brought up, I get tepid agreement and then treated to a monologue about the need to hire quality candidates, as if hiring mostly white men meant that the company was hiring quality candidates.
Load More Replies... whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago
Also, that all women want to and should get married. And that all women should only be wives and mothers.
Joyce Blodgett 1 year ago
The entirety of mankind/humankind is in for such a huge shock in the near future.
Brian Bennett 2 years ago
Men and women should not CONTROL each other. If this is happening in your life - either male or female get the hell out of that relationship. There is a difference between give and take, some people can't or don't want to realize the difference! Control is just the start of future abuse. Get out while the gettin's good!
Pepinie Tojetajne 2 years ago
Yeah, experienced lot of that. Sorry, not there for this. And I will let you know. 35 without childern and my hubby has hands. So stop your nonsence. And I have hairy legs :D
Octavia Hansen 2 years ago
I sing in bars and clubs. When a man is interested in me, he thinks I'll quit this job. When I sing a love song, every man thinks I'm going home with him. Every man thinks I am just singing until I find a man to support me. That my singin/writing songs/recording albums and jingles is just something fun I do until I find "a real job."
Robert 2 years ago
So where's the thread about men? Expected to pay for women, protect them, be the breadwinner, not allowed to show emotion, supposed to drink beer, watch sports, be handy, it's always the man's fault a divorce happened, supposedly men always cheat, men are always child predators, the list goes on and on. Women think they have it bad but believe me, there's s**t on both sides
Ally MacMann 2 years ago
I'm going to agree with you here (albeit not on every point). BP has had entire articles on toxic masculinity and there's lots to suggest that outdated stereotypes also harm men. Let's be clear - they don't harm men as much as women but suggesting there is a problem shouldn't be controversial!
Load More Replies...
Tamra Stiffler 2 years ago
Actually, it's the product of sexism and misogyny, but thanks for playing!
Load More Replies... 
musical-trash 2 years ago
These are not complaints, they are issues. Real life issues. How would you feel if everything on this list happened to you?
Load More Replies...
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
I cut my hair from a longish Bob to a buzz cut. Everyone asked how my husband would feel about it, what if he preferred long hair. If he prefers long hair, he can grow his own!
Novel Idesa 2 years ago
When I cut my hair short I remember a family member said "You know, men prefer long hair," and I said, "Well men should grown their hair long then." That shut them up.
Load More Replies... Yumiko 2 years ago
the future will look upon is and our time and think we were barbaric middle ages. what's the justification for paying women less than men again ?
Immortal Emperor Paradox 2 years ago
The level of order determines the the amount of equality between the majority/stronger/oppressor group and the minority/weaker/oppressed group in a society/community. This may apply to almost all facets, like race, caste, sex, culture, ethnicity, etc. We've come a long way from when women were treated as objects, to chattels, to humans, although not absolutely. It's a given that the far future would be a much better place for everyone, including women. For our descendants, we would just be inferior, savage old farts.
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 2 years ago (edited)
Being called a Karen if you stand up for yourself or express any discontent. Send your undercooked chicken back in a restaurant? You’re a Karen. Want a company to honor their warranty? Karen. Expect a clerk to wait on you instead of the man who arrived after you? Karen. And on and on.
Kristin Ingersoll 2 years ago
That's... not what "Karen" means - it's how you go about things. And the fact that you're that clueless means... you might want to take a look at how you complain.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
I'd like to publicly thank my mom, who managed to uninstall a lot of this in me before I even hit puberty, despite it being prevailing thinking of the time, and it being how she was raised.
Viney24 2 years ago
this is one my sister got a lot... shaving. women are expected to shave their legs armpits and other parts that they should only shave if they want to
Robert Thompson 2 years ago
I never understood this one. How has "hair" become ugly? Some covergirl stereotypes make sense to me, but not this one.
Load More Replies... Kensi 2 years ago (edited)
I got one too. I enjoy going to events (theatre for example) by myself (I am a woman) and for many men so far it has been like an invitation to come to me and (and I quote): "to keeping me company because I'm there alone". I never noticed it would happen to my male friend. I don't go there to meet men but simply to enjoy time there by myself.
whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago
I was taught to be submissive to men growing up, and to always look pleasing to men. F**k that. I'm still recovering from my misogynistic upbringing.
Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 2 years ago
If yall liked this yall should probably read the book "Cinderella is dead"
Jo Choto 2 years ago
Almost all of these issues relate to how the woman is perceived by the man for doing/not doing a thing. Fact is, the second women stop wanting the approval and desire of men, they will stop caring about doing or not doing most of the things on this list. We have the power. We have the choice.
Ashlie 2 years ago
Except when it comes to employment. The majority of higher management positions, boards of directors, etc. are held by men. Every time diversity is brought up, I get tepid agreement and then treated to a monologue about the need to hire quality candidates, as if hiring mostly white men meant that the company was hiring quality candidates.
Load More Replies... whodunnitfan2013 2 years ago
Also, that all women want to and should get married. And that all women should only be wives and mothers.
Joyce Blodgett 1 year ago
The entirety of mankind/humankind is in for such a huge shock in the near future.
Brian Bennett 2 years ago
Men and women should not CONTROL each other. If this is happening in your life - either male or female get the hell out of that relationship. There is a difference between give and take, some people can't or don't want to realize the difference! Control is just the start of future abuse. Get out while the gettin's good!
Pepinie Tojetajne 2 years ago
Yeah, experienced lot of that. Sorry, not there for this. And I will let you know. 35 without childern and my hubby has hands. So stop your nonsence. And I have hairy legs :D
Octavia Hansen 2 years ago
I sing in bars and clubs. When a man is interested in me, he thinks I'll quit this job. When I sing a love song, every man thinks I'm going home with him. Every man thinks I am just singing until I find a man to support me. That my singin/writing songs/recording albums and jingles is just something fun I do until I find "a real job."
Robert 2 years ago
So where's the thread about men? Expected to pay for women, protect them, be the breadwinner, not allowed to show emotion, supposed to drink beer, watch sports, be handy, it's always the man's fault a divorce happened, supposedly men always cheat, men are always child predators, the list goes on and on. Women think they have it bad but believe me, there's s**t on both sides
Ally MacMann 2 years ago
I'm going to agree with you here (albeit not on every point). BP has had entire articles on toxic masculinity and there's lots to suggest that outdated stereotypes also harm men. Let's be clear - they don't harm men as much as women but suggesting there is a problem shouldn't be controversial!
Load More Replies... Tamra Stiffler 2 years ago
Actually, it's the product of sexism and misogyny, but thanks for playing!
Load More Replies... musical-trash 2 years ago
These are not complaints, they are issues. Real life issues. How would you feel if everything on this list happened to you?
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