My son is autistic and since birth we've been teaching him that while having certain difficulties is understandable and if properly voiced they will be taken in account in order to avoid them. However, being autistic does not give him the right to be an a*****e and if a situation is getting too much for him it's totally OK for him to extract himself from the situation. He is on his way growing up to be an incredible decent and thoughtfully young man and we couldn't be more proud of him.

NTA. That's not how autism works. BIL knew the nachos would be crunchy yet he ate them anyway!?? Yes, OP might have been a bit nicer but as an autistic person myself, BIL, MIL and FIL TA. Maybe MIL and FIL need training on how to deal with autism...

"Olives are Spanish and not Mexican." Uh... where does he think a lot of current Mexican culture comes from? SPAIN. (Just looked it up and apparently they're widely used in Mexican cuisine) That's the part to me that says he's pretty much weaponizing his ASD. Plus, the fact that he eats tons of Takis. He sounds pretty high-functioning.

Seriously? He pointed out that the olives don't belong and it bothers him, and everyone is gonna have a meltdown? Autistic or not, dude seems spoiled.

NTA One of my kids has not been diagnosed with autism but has misophonia- they get triggered with anxiety over certain sounds, like eating foods like chips, slurping soup or noodles, and breathing (yes, the sound of someone else breathing triggers my kid into an anxiety attack). And while we try to be considerate of their sensitivity, as a family, we've decided to not let them dictate how we eat and breathe. They are welcome to join us and leave if they feel anxious, but we're not going to stop enjoying eating the foods we like and breathing because it disturbs them.

I'm confused BIL has the autism not you. They've disabled him more by tlnot teaching him coping methods.

Why take someone like that to a bar where crunchy bar snacks like nachos are likely to be sold? Is he going to freak out because strangers at the next table ordered it?

I personally think ESH. Especially because by 32, a person and his parents should have numerous management skills and strategies in place. But also the OP should not be using terms like creep to describe someone with a disability.

NTA. My sensory issues are real, yes, but they don't mean I get to control what other people eat. BIL is a manipulative asshat, 100%, and the whole damn family are enabling him.

To preface what I’m about to say: the vast majority of human beings are not a******s. Whether they’re neurotypical or neurodivergent, a genius or partially deaf in the left ear. People typically are not a******s no matter what abilities and differences they have. With that said: people with different abilities have the same propensity for being d***s as anyone else. When it comes to spectrum -related behaviors, we tend to go a little far negating the possibility of them being an a*****e. It’s demeaning, pandering, condescending & unfair to not allow for someone’s behavior to be assholish just cos they’re in the spectrum. My friend had Asperger’s and is high-functioning. He’s also a manipulative prick at times. They aren’t the same nor are they cause/effect. He can just be a d**k when he doesn’t get his way. And he knows it. When people rationalize & excuse his assholeness as his Asperger’s it hurts him. As in both perpetually, but it hurts his feelings. He’ll vocalize this, too.

I understand that most of you don't have enough experience with autistic people to understand that our meltdowns (which was incorrectly called a tantrum in this story) are entirely involuntary. it's absolutely devastating when it happens in public simply because it's humiliating and a reminder that we can't live our lives like the average person does. most of us know how to avoid anything that could trigger a meltdown, such as me, a person with scent sensitivity so bad I can't walk through the detergent aisle, completely avoiding any stores that sell perfumes or bath products. but there are some of us that don't exactly know our own limits and rely on other people (typically parents) to prevent us from being put in a situation that could cause a meltdown. what I'm saying here is the BIL isn't the a*****e in this situation (1/2)

NTA. Change your name to Chip and always have a bag ready. Everyone else in this story is the a**(***

Ok I have autism Misphonia adhd and other stuff + sensitivity and bat ears but even I am someone who is emotional and can overreact but I'm not a control freak

Quick note: Black olives originate from Greece, not Spain. Little drama brat should get his facts straight

Wow. Every time I read a story about autism being used as an excuse for bad behavior I have to remind myself that there's nothing wrong with me. I don't like certain noises either but I just do my best to ignore them (and maybe text my mom to complain, LOL). Shame on the BIL for exploiting his "senstivities" and shame on the family for enabling him!

Huh. Didn't know that there was a word for it. Anyways, OP is definitely not the AH.

Autism or not, waiting to watch some influencers live stream??!! Whatever.

If the guy, himself, can eat crunchy chips, etc, then he’s completely full of s**t acting like it’s a mortal sin if someone else does.

Problem isn't that BIL is autistic, its that hes a man whose been raised2expect2b 100% in control of other people all the time+has never been told NO+has never had boundaries set4him. Similarly, women r raised2accept this behavior from men+do WHATEVER is necessary (and urge others2do whatever is necessary) 2avoid having men explode@them4any perceived slight,even if this means rolling over+taking it,holding their tongue,or giving up on living 99% of their lives(food,friends,fashion,music,etc totally controlled by man.)Ur FIL clearly thinks his son is entitled2this power+your MIL+wife were abused+conditioned into walking on glass their entire lives2avoid a human bomb going off,but you should make it clear he isn't entitled to that power over YOU.That family needs therapy with a trained specialist that can teach them2set good boundaries with their son.You CAN+should set boundaries with him in YOUR life. I'd consider therapy4u+ur wife 2help her learn it's OK2live w/o walking on glass.

F**k him. Order more. He needs to learn to deal with it.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"This creep" In-laws could probably do a better job handling the problems. Communicate better and headphones but if dude is using the "this creep" to describe him I'm betting deeper problems are at play. Oh but he regretted using those words? Well sounds like someone is bad at communicating and regulating his emotions when triggered. Huh thats familiar. See how people give a pass to themselves but expect better from others. I wont say a.h but everyone here has work to do.