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A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Hence, if you are looking for a comedic shure-shot, we’ve just the thing for you — a thorough list of the best one-liners on the Internet!
Another thing with these one line jokes is that they work amazingly well for, say, movie characters like James Bond. He always has a hilarious and laconic quip after disposing of his enemies and is well remembered for it! In fact, probably no other jokes, but funny one liners are forever at the top of the popularity Everest by being so accessible, understandable, and ultimately funny.
Thus, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to present you with our choices of the best jokes that fall under this category; our hopes are pretty high to entertain you with this one! So now, it is precisely time that you scroll down below to check out the best one liners that we found! From punny ones to straight-up corny and from cute to sarcastic one liners, there’s a joke for absolutely anyone here.
And after you find the one that has cracked you up, be sure to vote for it! But, if such a sad instance occurs and you can’t find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.
#3
The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
What are one-liner jokes?
Simply put, a one-liner is a very short joke that delivers its punchline in just one sentence. A good one-liner should always be concise and meaningful or, if you want a fancy word for it — pithy. Although these one line jokes are most often used as a part of a bigger performance, it doesn’t mean they don’t work as standalone quips. In fact, one might even argue that the shorter the joke — the more powerful the reaction!
Funny one line jokes can also be used as a punchline of a real or fictional character, just the same as a catchphrase would. Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circumstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways.
#4
The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.
#5
250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I'm not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.
#6
If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $6.30 now.
What is the best one-liner?
Now, this is where it gets a bit biased! Each and every one of us have slightly different sense of humor and taste for our jokes, so nominating just one one-liner as the best is a tough job to say the least. However, since you, our dear readers always have an excellent taste for jokes, this one here seems to have reached number one position on our list:
Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.
So, can we agree that we found the funniest one-liner ever? Well, at least one of the best jokes, for sure!
#7
I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
#8
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
#9
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
Marcellus II 2 years ago
You want to know the difference between a sadist and a masochist? I could tell you, but you'll have to beat the answer out of me.
How To Write One-Liners?
If you want to try your hand at writing one-liners, kudos to you! Homebred jokes are always the funniest and the most relevant. That said, writing one-liners comes with its own set of rules, albeit a short one:
- Set your joke up for success by making it super short;
- Start with a setup that seems like it’s going to one direction only;
- Give it a plot twist right at the end!
By following these simple one-liner writing rules, you'll be bound for success; we’re pretty certain of it. However, if you need a bit more inspiration and a little more examples of the best one-liners, keep reading our list!
#10
I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.
#11
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
#12
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
#13
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
#14
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.
Eagle Girl 2 years ago
Leave a trail of candy to the nice old lady with the house in the woods
#15
Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.
#16
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
#17
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
#18
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
#19
Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.
#20
Is your bottom jealous of the amount of crap that comes out of your mouth?
#21
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
#22
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
#23
What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.
#24
So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.
#27
The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.
#28
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
#29
Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.
#30
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.
#31
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
#32
"You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace."
#33
I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.
Jo Johannsen 2 years ago
I was going to procrastinate yesterday, but decided to do it tomorrow.
#34
Two fish are in a tank. One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’
#35
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
#37
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
#38
I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap.
#39
A perfectionist walked into a bar... Apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.
#40
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
What do you think ?
David Martin 2 years ago
The Ferris wheel and the merry-go-round were invented in the same time period, but the inventors never met, because they traveled in different circles
Dagnirath 2 years ago
I saw a man with one arm at a secondhand store. I went up to him and said "I don't think you'll find it here."
phil blanque 2 years ago
"My dog has no nose". "Oh no...how does he smell?" "Terrible." (Monty Python)
UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago
You mean the ones that also try to be funny but are just embarrassing?
Load More Replies...
James Wood 9 months ago (edited)
Last time I went to the doctor for a physical, he said "You are FAR too sedentary." So I made a solemn vow, at that very moment, that I was gonna go buy a dictionary.
James Wood 9 months ago
The last time I went to the doctor, he said I was FAR too sedentary... So I made a solemn VOW, at that moment, that I was going to go buy a dictionary.
sergio lamarra 1 year ago
Penguin walks into a bar - says to the bartender "Has my brother been in today?" - barman says "Dunno. What's he like?"
Seb Benson 2 years ago
I'm trying to do my DIY these days, but I'm having trouble putting hinges on doors... so, if anyone can help my door is always open :)
David Martin 2 years ago
The Ferris wheel and the merry-go-round were invented in the same time period, but the inventors never met, because they traveled in different circles
Dagnirath 2 years ago
I saw a man with one arm at a secondhand store. I went up to him and said "I don't think you'll find it here."
phil blanque 2 years ago
"My dog has no nose". "Oh no...how does he smell?" "Terrible." (Monty Python)
UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago
You mean the ones that also try to be funny but are just embarrassing?
Load More Replies... James Wood 9 months ago (edited)
Last time I went to the doctor for a physical, he said "You are FAR too sedentary." So I made a solemn vow, at that very moment, that I was gonna go buy a dictionary.
James Wood 9 months ago
The last time I went to the doctor, he said I was FAR too sedentary... So I made a solemn VOW, at that moment, that I was going to go buy a dictionary.
sergio lamarra 1 year ago
Penguin walks into a bar - says to the bartender "Has my brother been in today?" - barman says "Dunno. What's he like?"
Seb Benson 2 years ago
I'm trying to do my DIY these days, but I'm having trouble putting hinges on doors... so, if anyone can help my door is always open :)
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