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Someone Asks Childfree People Over 40 How They Feel About Not Having Kids, Gets 30 Honest Answers
When a 20-year-old says they don’t want to have kids, people often roll their eyes and respond with the classic, condescending, “Oh, you’ll change your mind when you get older.” Those words can sting like lemon juice in a fresh papercut, and, unfortunately, that young person will have to wait about 25 years before people stop assuming that they'll have regrets or suddenly wake up one day with baby fever. But deciding whether or not to have children is a personal choice, or a choice made between two partners, and starting a family is certainly not for everyone.
To shine some light on this topic, one curious Reddit user asked childfree people over the age of 40 how they feel about their decision not to have kids. Many of them shared eye-opening, raw and honest responses, so below, we've gathered some of their thoughts ranging from how fulfilling life can be without kids to how painful it was for some of them to learn they would never have children.
Be sure to upvote the responses that you find touching or that resonate with you, and if you're childfree yourself, feel free to let us know in the comments how you feel about that decision. Then, if you're interested in reading another Bored Panda article where you can hear from even more childfree adults about their thoughts on never having kids, look no further than right here.
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#1
I love kids. I love my nieces and nephews. I want to help them be good people, achieve their dreams, have experiences, and hear good advice from the viewpoint of someone not their parents. I love to play Evil Robot with them and family gatherings usually consist of me trying not to spill my beer while swarmed by squealing kids.
But I am an extremely introverted person, and I need a lot of time alone. I have never wanted children full time, and neither has my partner. We are, consistently, really happy with our choices to remain childless. The world needs awesome uncles and aunties to help shoulder the burden, and to slam kids on the bed yelling "Gravity takes you to the pit of Destruction!"
Shana White 3 years ago
This warms my heart. I have a sister who is 10 years younger than me and is smart, kind, and beautiful but has mental health issues that I think may preclude her from ever having children of her own; that being said, she is the most amazing aunt to my daughters that I could possibly ask for and I really hope it brings her the joy that you describe because it fills my heart with happiness.
RELATED:
#2
I'm 44, wife is 39 for a few more months.
We're feeling absolutely fine, it's the people we meet on a daily basis that seem to have problems with it.
Dazzled masochistic Lamb 3 years ago
His couldn't be more true. We couldn't have kids and we've been called greedy and selfish for living our lives to the fullest on our terms !
Hugh Cookson 3 years ago
Keep on going and enjoying yourselves, life is so much more than having children (besides which, given the current state of global affairs, who is being more selfish, them who have a brood of sprogs or you ? Simple answer really )
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General Anaesthesia 3 years ago
All those people who feel the need to dictate others' life choices just for control's sake should mind their own @#%$ business.
Mona Stevenson 3 years ago
8 billion people on the planet now, and not many of us are living sustainably or mindfully. A good enough reason to not reproduce.
Desi C 3 years ago
I never wanted kids. Which in this day and age should be perfectly acceptable, yet I still get the "oh sorry" sad face. I didn't say I can't have kids I said I don't want kids. Seriously why is there still an expectation that people are obligated to have children? What century is this??
ravina nimje 3 years ago
8Bn people already and people still want to overburden earth. And enjoy blaming people who don't want to follow them blindly.
Paul Brown 3 years ago
I don't have kids and don't want any, never had the desire. Also, the way the world is now I wouldn't want to bring a kid into it.
Sarah Monk 3 years ago
I have one child but I’m not an expert on anything I just want you to know Not everyone thinks you are wrong xx
#3
I'm in my 40s and am glad I never had children. The way this world is going...jobs in 50 years will be harder to come by. Climate change is killing our planet and it's going to get worse. This world doesn't need another one of me, there are already enough people overpopulating it already.
Deborah B 3 years ago
I feel like the world is permanently teetering at 1 minute to midnight, with economic collapse, wars, pandemics, climate change and aging populations. I'm 40, and a lot of my generation are just hoping that the worst effects are staved off long enough for us to age out. Why would anyone want to have a kid to inherit the impending disasters of humanity? Who actually believes that this planet is going to be a good place to live 50 years from now, for anyone except the wealthy?
Salma Hernández 3 years ago
Exactly. For new generations will be a difficult life. Is not the kind of future I want for my kids, so I wont have them
Richard Graham 3 years ago
Today (11/16/22) the world reached 8 billion people. The world is choking in people! So many problems - wars, famines, environmental decay, and others - are caused by overpopulation! When I married my wife and I decided not to have children for these reasons. (My wedding present to her was a vasectomy.) We are happy, financially well-off, and sex is for pleasure only.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
8 Billion as of yesterday. Yet the rules of capitalism break if we don't procreate more, buy more, expand more. There is something wrong with us, and we don't need to commit genocide to have fewer of us pollute the planet. Corporations and governments can plan for it and maybe we don't turn the planet into a shitball. But of course, that would instigate the "replacement theory" nutsos, who are right, by the way, they absolutely need to be replaced by someone with a brain.
#4
I'd like to comment on behalf of my neighbors.
They're an old couple, probably mid 60s, who have more energy than anyone their age that I've met. Instead of kids they seemed to adopt our neighborhood as their family: hosting jam sessions, drunk Christmas caroling, and ping pong tournaments.
Idk if not having kids has kept their attitudes young, but when I(mid 20s) hangout with them it doesn't have that age gap feel to it, they just seem to have the energy of youth despite their age.
Centu Rionick 3 years ago
I love this post. I get these stories and people's reasoning. From an early age however I just dreamt of having kids some day, I guess you could say it was my 'goal' in life. I've always wondered what it must be like growing old without them, being 80 living in a house with no kids or grandkids coming over for a visit or christmas. Some say that is a very selfish reason to have kids. Some say it is selfish not to have them because of this. I guess all in all, there are also people who rather not take the responsiblity of having them, but some also dare not having the risk to not have them. Not sure if that makes sense. I'd love to be free and flexible, which I'm anything but at the moment. But that will pay off in another way, but i sure do understand the people that chose not to have kids (people not being able to have kids, obviously excluded, I send you my best wishes and good fortune, keep trying!).
Joey Marlin 3 years ago
Let's be honest, people only have children because they want them. Doing something purely because you want to is the very definition of selfishness. There is nothing actually selfless in giving it all up for children either, that's a choice people make because they want to do it for their children (though many don't, people can stay selfish even towards their kids). What is wrong is judging people for either of these choices. It's neither right nor wrong to have children, it's only what works for the individuals. Though it's not a great idea to assume children and grandchildren will be there for a person in their old age - I have a friend who worked in elder health care and many were still very lonely despite having children. Though having too many children?? The planet seriously needs humans to slow up. We should be grateful that more and more people are choosing not to have children. Watch the David Attenborough programme on overpopulation and see why.
Load More Replies... #5
41. I chose not to have kids because I'm mentally ill. I only found out to what extent 3 years ago, but as a girl in my 20s, I just knew that I wouldn't be able to be different than my mom, whose anxiety and depression had caused my brother and I so much pain as children. I wouldn't accept the chance that I might have a child (bio or preferably to me, adopted) and be unable to avoid causing it pain, sadness, or growing up to be like me. I'm incredibly sad about it, it feels unfair of course, but it's still the proudest thing I've done in my life, and honestly I wish my mom had had the insight to do the same.
Note: before the whole "but then you wouldn't exist, wouldn't that be sad, etc." No. I think that's a silly argument. People who don't exist can't be upset about never having existed. If I were to blink out of existence now like Back to the Future, sure.
Aballi 3 years ago
Relatable. A part of me would like to have kids, but I made the choice against it because of my mental health. While I'm generally a pretty content and happy human, I go through episodes of depression that require me to exert all my energy taking care of myself...and even then, it's a struggle! Side note: I met someone recently who wanted kids and never had them. He tried to relate to me by saying we both "settled" for lives without the stereotypical nuclear family. I told him he was completely off base. I felt bad for him, as my life is full of rich, rewarding and loving relationships with friends and family members. Meanwhile, he's over there wasting time wishing he had a life he doesn't have. Time is too short for that s**t, and a little gratitude for what we do have goes a long way.
AR 3 years ago
I think you made a good choice. Having a kid while having a mental illness is hard. I wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar 2 until after my son was born, but during hard times my energy focused on caring for him and I let other things fall to the wayside. I’ve explained to him what bipolar 2 is as he’s grown up, but I worry all the time how my bipolar has affected him.
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Kawazoe 3 years ago
This mostly. I've seen my parents suffer, my siblings and cousins suffer and I've been told my grandfather wasn't having a blast either, so a lot of mental illness and also autism (that often makes life twice the struggle) to be passed on. And like said, even if not biological, I can't stand the thought of causing pain to a child because I'm incapable of even loving myself.
Randolph Croft 3 years ago (edited)
Ditto that. My autism isn't obvious or a total block to a social life, but emotional/intimate empathy is very rare in my experience. My father was worse. I probably wouldn't be able to bond with the children, in much the same way my father never bonded with us.
KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
I totally get this. My mother f*cked me and my siblings up royally (to the point that I was only 11 the first time I attempted to off myself). Even if I wanted children, I would never ever risk having a child when I'm still not totally mentally stable.
RedCorvette 3 years ago
I would always reply back, okay show me one non existent person regretting their non existence
Heather 3 years ago
I get this. My only child is 22. When her father and I decided to have her we were in our mid 20s and were unaware we were both spontaneous mutations for two different and severe genetic conditions to both of our dads having heavy dioxin exposure. (HI Agent Orange.) I care for my ex-husband as he dies of cancer that is part of this genetic condition. Our daughter will die the same way. Her case is more advanced. My future is caring for and losing them both while I battle my own genetic condition that breaks down the joints in my body and other connective tissue. I love them both so much. Even after we found out all this in our early 30s everyone wanted to know when we would have more kids. Or maybe we could adopt. Both ideas strike me as evil. If he and I had never been born, so much suffering would have never happened. No one deserves this.
Noname 3 years ago
I have 4 kids, ranging in age from 32 years to turning 14 next week. I love all of my children very much, but 2 were forced on me, and 2 I chose to have. I haven't spoken with 3 of them in over a year, and I'm not upset. We don't need each other. I'm doing my best to live my life, and while I support all of my kids, I don't need the Millennial drama of how I could've done better for them when I did the best I could for them. My last child is extremely happy to live with me and doesn't give a fig about their sibs or father.
D Peterson 3 years ago
Thank you for sharing. I have some of the same reasons for not having children.
Noname 3 years ago
Parenting isn't for everyone. That the author knew their limitations and made the decision to not have kids is laudable. I wish more people put in as much thought about becoming a parent as this author.
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Hass Mchasserson 3 years ago
By that standard no one should have kids. Everyone’s a little messed up.
#6
Rich. I feel rich.
My coworkers who make the same money as me complain all the time about not having enough, and here I am with more money than I know what to do with.
Glenda Whare 3 years ago
I love this honest answer. And I'm in pain over it hahahaa I have 5 kids.....
CultOfBambi 3 years ago (edited)
Genuine question, no judgement - can I ask why you had kids? And why 5? I've never wanted children and have always been curious why people do it. My parents never seemed to enjoy being parents. My mother said she had always wanted children but she was not very maternal at all.
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Scott Crowe 3 years ago
"...I've got three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money ?" - Homer Simpson
Mary August 3 years ago (edited)
I work in a low income sector and I feel rich. I own my appartment, fully paid. I own a new car. I have money to spare all the time. I'm 45 and loving my child free life!
MadamGreenIce 3 years ago
Exactly my feeling. Particularly like now when the price of things skyrockets, I don't feel the pinch like some of my colleagues.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Yup! I finally work a fantastic job that pays well, I've been told by people "now you can have kids since you can afford it." Uh, no. I actually have spending money for once in my adult life. I'm catching up on all the things I couldn't do for the last 15 years and enjoying my life after it was so uncertain and full of stress.
Brian Droste 3 years ago
I am single and I don't have any or very little money left over at the end of the month. So bring single doesn't mean you will have lot of extra cash.
Sunny Day 3 years ago
I feel thankful that I don't have kids. Generations past raised kids to be self-sufficient adults and then their job was done and they could relax. In today's society, the job is never complete. 35yo "kids" move back in and bring THEIR kids. Grandparents are expected to provide constant, free, childcare. Never employed 40yos living in mom's basement. 30yos working part time and expecting mom & dad to pay their rent. 20-somethings with 3-4 kids who need school clothes. Or doctor visits. Or braces. It sounds exhausting, to put it mildly.
ChickyChicky 3 years ago
Awesome generalizing. Definitely everyone "back then" was better than everyone now. Amazing how those "self-sufficient adults" managed to raise everyone so poorly, what with the perfect examples their parents were. Kids these days, SMH.
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Walter Brameld 3 years ago (edited)
Cats and dogs are waaay cheaper than little humans and give you way more cuddle time.
Load More Replies... Centu Rionick 3 years ago
I get that. However i'd rather have nothing after spending it on my kids than have all and not having a goal for it.
Dill 3 years ago
What makes you think they have no goal? Having more than they need doesn't necessarily make them goalless. They might do a great deal of good with that money - at least they'll be able to support themselves in their old age rather than hoping and inflicting that on their children.
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#7
My husband and I are both 48, married 25 years, no kids. Absolutely no regrets. We discussed it before we got married, and every few years after. Never changed our minds. His mother resents me to this day, despite the fact that she has 6 grandkids and 3 great grandkids from my husband’s siblings. She once told me that there was something mentally wrong with a woman who didn’t want to carry her husband’s child. I don’t spend a lot of time around her. Finally got my tubes tied over 10 years ago. We are happily child free, and enjoy our life immensely.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
"Carry your husbands child" is exactly the way she sees it: a child from her son, not you and her son together. She seems to forget that you have a say in this as well.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
There's something mentally wrong with a women who blames her daughter-in-law for not having children, but not her own son, who also doesn't want them. I wouldn't be spending much time with her either.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Why bug you for grandkids when she already has a bunch? I've never understood that. Why parents demand grandkids from their own children. Why? At this point it's just for fun, they get to play and spoil them and support in some ways but they aren't the ones doing the heavy lifting, the raising. Why pressure someone for grandkids when it isn't them who deals with it all?
Mary August 3 years ago
So there is something "mentally wrong" about me... but I'm crazy happy about that!
Kawazoe 3 years ago
There's definitely a lot of things wrong with me but I don't really consider this one of those things 😜
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Luna Crow 3 years ago
Curious about BP's photo choice on this one, is this supposed to represent the MIL? Because it certainly doesn't look like the age of anyone I know in their 40s or 50s
Remi Flynne 3 years ago
I think it is meant to represent the bitter MIL!!
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Ghaniyah Verma 3 years ago
"there was something mentally wrong with a woman who didn’t want to carry her husband’s child." No, there's nothing wrong in that. They just don't want to reproduce.
#8
52 yo woman. From a very young age I was absolutely certain I didn’t want kids. As a young girl I had zero maternal instinct. I *hated* babies, thought they were the ugliest creatures in the world and as anti-cute as possible. (Even hated dolls too, to the point that when somebody gave me a doll I cut all its hair off & buried it in the mud outside, lol).
When I became an adult the sheer hatred faded and I found I began to enjoy kids (BUT NOT BABIES. Never came around on babies. They still even smell gross to me! That nauseating milky smell... *shudder*). Anyway it was just crystal clear that I was not cut out to be a mother. Additionally I am pretty ugly and I as I grew up I realized I really don’t want to pass on the ugliness genes because tbh it’s a real burden. (I’ve also wondered if the lack of maternal instinct is itself genetic; if so, I shouldn’t pass that on either.)
Went through my 20s/30s perfectly happy with my decision.
Then to my surprise I felt flickers of regret and uncertainty popping up as I went through my 40s, which is when the door really closes permanently. My long-term bf & I split up, and the reality of aging completely alone began to sink in, especially as I began to develop some of the classic age-related health problems & realized there will never be anybody to drive me to the doctor, nobody to call for help, etc. But beyond even the aging-alone thing, I just began to crave more of a connection to the next generation.
That phase of uncertainty & slight regret lasted several years but actually it’s faded now. For one thing, as I watch my friends & parents age, I realized almost everybody ages alone anyway. None of my siblings live within 1000 miles of my folks, for example; and all my older female relatives, *all* of them, have ended up alone as their spouses either die or divorce.
Ultimately I realized there are many other ways to connect to the next generation besides just having kids of your own. I mentor grad students now & decided to go back to teaching, and that really has sated that craving for some kind of connection, some kind of impact on the world. I teach in community music groups too. Also my career is endangered-species research & climate change and I do feel that the work I’m doing there can potentially have much more of an impact than raising kids of my own; and if I’d had kids I would not have been able to really do my work as well (I have to travel all over the world constantly, and that would’ve been impossible with children).
And ultimately I know I’m too much of an introvert to have been happy with kids in the home. Literally this morning I was thinking about this, while I was cleaning my house, and I looked around at my beautiful little home and actually said out loud, “It’s so peaceful and pretty and restful and rejuvenating.” I LOVE my perfect peaceful home life, LOVE it. I’m happy every day; happy when I wake up, happy when I go to bed. I love my independence. I believe in my work & I love the way I can go traveling 6x/yr all over the world. I love mentoring my students, I love teaching. I’m glad I’m not passing on my genes. I’ll die alone, yeah, *and that’s okay* and I’ve made my peace with it.
This isn’t the right path for everybody but I know it’s the right path for me.
Mike127 3 years ago (edited)
Just because ppl have kids doesn't always mean you have someone to take care of you when you older. Meaning older folks are living alone nowadays for whatever reason even thou they have kids and grandkids. Just because we are family doesn't always meant we all get along together. I seen my cousin and aunt pretty much dead to each other, don't know whole story but think something to do with the partners and stuff. So yeah one should always be prepared to be alone, cause god knows in this world the only thing you can trust is yourself.
Val Souto 2 years ago
My goodness! You could have been describing my early years, with hating dolls and cutting their hair (sometimes their heads off too). I always thought that I was a freak... Now, older and (wiser?) I realize that I'm not the only one who has no maternal instincts at all... Thank you for sharing!!!❤️
Kyle Donnell 3 years ago
There is massive difference between flying on a commercial aircraft, to do work that greatly benefits the planet, as opposed to some rich dude flying a private jet 30 min to see his mistress.
Load More Replies... #9
My parents are in their 60s and 70s and have many friends who never married or had children.
As they've aged and started to have more health issues, their friends have stepped up to the plate. Even some of those who did have children have been supported primarily by their friends.
My dad has driven his friends to and from chemo treatments. He visits them at home and brings them food. He's helped them arrange for Meals on Wheels or hospice. Many of his friends do the same for each other. They've known each other for 50+ years and they all look out for each other, with the healthiest ones looking after the sickest.
My dad's childhood friend Jay passed a few years back. He never married and had no children. My dad and his friends cared for Jay for years as he deteriorated, and he died at age 70 with his mother still alive at 90. My dad then took over looking after Jay's mother, since Jay was an only child and they'd been friends since high school.
Nea 3 years ago
Children are no guarantee for oldage care. Its also mighty selfish to produce children for this.
Kawazoe 3 years ago
Exactly. Sometimes the future scares me of course, but honestly I don't think I'd be a good parent so the result would probably be the same. If there's anything I can do to support the kids of my siblings or relatives then that's a different story.
Load More Replies... LeeJ 3 years ago
I work in healthcare with a mostly elderly population, people shouldn't depend on their kids for help with medical issues, most of the children are at the age where they are busy working and have their own children to deal with. After being abused by my parents for most of my life I am not really interested in taking care of them if they ever need help medically.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
I heard this one too, who's going to take care of you when you're older? Well, my nephews can but they have no obligation to do so, it's their choice. And honestly, if I live long enough to get to the point where I need someone to care for me like that, just put me out of my misery, I value my independence too much.
officerripley 3 years ago
My husband and I (in our 70s) never wanted or had kids. A word of advice, though: if possible, do not strand yourself in a conservative, rural area since there will be fewer (or no!) other childfree couples around to interact with or help out as described in #9 above. Gets lonely sometimes when social occasions are frequently cancelled due to issues with grandchildren.
Telepathetic 3 years ago
The (almost) Mythical Era when people Actually Cared about each other.....
Carrie Laughs 3 years ago
They're not going to read your comment. Also, wrong to assume they are lonely as they clearly have great friends, why would that be sad? Neither is having children a guarantee that you'll not be lonely in old age or helped by them. Having children is no guarantee they'll be there for you at all. The OP says that some have children but are still supported by friends primarily, not their children. My mother, visited weekly by some of her children, and called regularly by the others further away, was still incredibly lonely - she needed more than that, she wanted friends. She left a diary that was heart-breaking.
Load More Replies... #10
We're both in our mid fifties and without children. We are very happy with just the 2 of us. We realise that we have no one to look after us when we are old and are already thinking about how to go about living when we will be in need of help. Nieces and nephews we won't approach for that. They have their lives with their own parents to look after. It is our decision not to have children so we have to make sure we will manage by ourselves.
Kirsten Kerkhof 3 years ago
Having kids does not guarantee care. My grandmother had 8 kids and literally none of them were able to provide care when she needed it (they were deceased, disabled or simply lived too far away). When people raise this point with me (I'm childless by choice), I can use my grandmother as a prime example. She never even wanted kids, too.
Luna Crow 3 years ago
THAT would be selfish, to have kids for that reason. And you're absolutely right, it's not a guarantee. But I'd like to think this is the other end of the "it takes a village" philosophy. And there are also programs in place to make sure the elderly have a place to stay and access to care, even if they don't have a village/family
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Sue Bradley 3 years ago
I tell my (grown up) children that they are NOT the look after me!! I work as a home carer and love my job, and I see the families often run into the ground though with the relentless pressure of essentially running the parent/s lives . I want my kids to live their own lives as they want to without the pressure of me!!!!
Nick West 3 years ago
I care for my Mum full time - it's hard. It's 24 hours a day, every day. If she was still able to think with as much clarity as she used to she'd be horrified. I don't regret choosing to care for her and I don't regret having no children to care for me. Don't question other peoples choices.
Tamra 3 years ago
I wish my parents and my MIL had considered this. I've spent the last 10 years of my life caring for aging parents and a MIL. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to just say NO.
Lady Luna 3 years ago
I feel you, i have been taking care for my mother since i was a teen. I'm 35 now, with no achivent of my own, no career, nothing. My entire youth wasted for a woman who didn't care for me when a was a child.
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#11
In my 60s. My husband and I couldn't have children. We regret that, but we enjoy our life and have freedom to do things we couldn't do otherwise. It wasn't a choice, but it has turned out fine.
E Menendez 3 years ago
This gives me hope. I am almost 40 and my husband and I have wanted children, but it probably won't happen (still have some hope, but my husband says I need to be real). I hope to come to peace with it like this couple. My husband says life will be wonderful with kids and it will be wonderful without them too.
Helen Bennett 3 years ago
That sounds like us. Thank you. It was unbelievably painful at the time but now I can sleep in late, be an introvert, not overpopulate the planet, not put my children in this awful mess we've created... and for us too, it's turning out fine.
#12
I didn't get married until I was 39, and my wife is eight years older than me so, yeah no. I'm 49 now. No regrets.
Your late 40's is a weird time. You have some friends the same age who are grandparents and some who have toddlers.
ItsJess 3 years ago
It really is a weird time. Cannot wrap my head around friends being grandparents.
Beck 3 years ago
I became a grandma at 41. At the same time my older cousin had her first baby.
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Hugh Cookson 3 years ago
Oh, wow, lucky friends ; just think of the times they could have been out to a concert or going to a nice restaurant or going on holiday instead of cleaning out a shitty nappy or arranging for a babysitter. You made the right choice, be happy, be kind and above all, enjoy your lives (64 yo male curmudgeon here, who decided very early on the fathering a child was not for me .)
Michael Logan 3 years ago
This sounds like me. I got married for the first time at 44 to my wife who was 48 at the time. So no children for us. I have had co workers around 40 who had grand-kids and also worked with fathers who were 45 with toddlers. I always imagined marrying someone a few younger than me and having kids when I was younger. But it didn't happen that way. I love my wife and wouldn't change a thing though now.
#13
In our 50's, no kids, no regrets. My husband came from a family of nine kids and didn't want to struggle like his parents. As for me, the idea of children fills me with a horrible trapped feeling. I refused to ever play with baby dolls as a child.
At this point we smother our cats with affection and occasionally send money to our nieces and nephews. Oddly enough, little kids like us.
Lily Mae Kitty 3 years ago
we are childless and not really "kid people" and kids always like us, too. We got married late and people still asked me at 48 if we were going to try for a baby. argh. we have cats. cats are good.
Jing Yi Xu 3 years ago
You must have had a past life where you felt trapped with children, and I'm glad you now have a chance to live a childfree life to experience the freedom
Green Eyed Raven 3 years ago
As the youngest of 6 raised by a single father who struggled, I had no desire to raise children. My husband chose not to have children either. We have pets and a fulfilling life. but no, we do not hate children.
Brian Droste 3 years ago
If you did have any kids now, by the time the oldest one is 20, you would be 68. For Lily May Kitty.
#14
I'm 45 and I've never felt at all maternal - babies have just never done anything for me. I'm the eldest child in my family, and had to look after younger siblings so I'm done with it, plus I prefer dealing with humans that you can have a conversation with. It's not that I'm a psychopath or have no feelings, if anything I have too many, but I'd rather have pets than children. On top of this I grew up with a very shouty father, and I suppose he was emotionally abusive. I'm afraid that I'd react like he did, as to me that was "normal". I don't think I'd make a very good parent. It's a shame that more people didn't consider this before having kids. Too many people have them for the wrong reason. My brother has two kids, and I'm aiming to be the cool auntie. I'm happy with that.
Luna Crow 3 years ago
OMG. I could have written this post. Good to know there are others with these thoughts and feelings on the matter
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
Ikr. I am the second oldest out of 5. I have seen enough babies to know I don't want any of my own. Also when my sibling start having kids I will be the super cool auntie.
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oddly_informed_raven 3 years ago
I aim to be the cool auncle who lives in a cottage in a different country and has a bunch of pets
AnnaMarie Ruiz 2 years ago (edited)
Totally relatable, I am the second oldest of 5 siblings and I feel I've done my servitude of caring for my siblings and also a few relatives that were younger. I've seen more diaper rashes and poop filled diapers galore, enough for this lifetime. I made the personal choice and would always voice that I never wanted to have kids as young as a teen. I was always told I'd change my mind and my hormones would tell me differently (race card got thrown in as well too, being of hispanic descent - it was expected for us to have kids). I am currently 36, single, and still no kids. My choice. I have 1 niece and I enjoy being able to dote on her and my furbaby. They bring me joy and happiness and I don't need a baby of my own to prove that I'm a complete woman or because it is my duty as a woman. This helps me to know there are others out there that share the same similar view points on this topic.
#15
I'm in my early 70s, & not only do my wife and I have no kids, but many of the couples we know have no kids
It's not a topic of conversation or contemplation. We're all satisfied with our lives.
Margaret Hagerman 2 years ago
I had corgis instead of children (some might say they’re one and the same). Hubs and I are happy w/our dogs.
Load More Replies... #16
I am 51. I chose not to have kids because of serious family genetic problems. I miraculously don't suffer from it but I carry the genes and the genetic specialist I saw said there was an 80% chance my children would be afflicted and a 50% chance my grand children would be afflicted. I decided I ethically could not subject a child to a life of suffering. My siblings did not make the same choice. Out of the combined 7 children they had 100% are afflicted. That's the way odds work. Each child runs the 80% risk.
So, I am glad that I made the choice. But I love kids. I wanted four of my own before I found out about this. Some days I am really sad I never got to have them. But mostly it's OK. I never wanted to adopt because the social safety net where I live is so strong that healthy kids are never given away for adoption and if I were to raise a disabled child, it would have been my own. I was never able to afford a donor egg/surrogate. A large part is just accepting that kids are just not in the cards for everyone. I've had a good life. I have an SO, hobbies, I have done some traveling, I have pet parrots who really are little people with feathers. I enjoy my life.
Penny Martin 3 years ago
I wish more people with familial genetic problems approached the issue as responsibly as you did. Kudos.
Amy 3 years ago (edited)
I have a genetic disease with dominant inheritance, so any kid I had would have a 50% chance of getting it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, so I won't have kids. Pregnancy would also be hell for me, if not downright dangerous. I won't adopt, because no kid deserves a mom who doesn't have the physical or mental energy to raise them. So instead I have incredibly spoiled dogs. Many people have told me how selfish I am for not having kids, but I feel like it's the opposite.
AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus 3 years ago
You are the opposite of selfish. Cuddle your doggies and go on living your best life.
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Lorna Lay 3 years ago (edited)
As a woman with a genetic disease myself, I applaud others who have made the same difficult decision that I had to. Anybody who says that it’s selfish not to have children anyways or adopt in this situation just doesn’t get it. And besides, we’re still awesome aunties and uncles and valuable members of a family!
#17
I’m a little younger (35) but my husband and I are never going to have kids. It’s great, no regrets. We travel, we have dogs, we can do what we choose to do.
It’s working out well for us because I hate my job and am soon going to get certification to do something else. I’ll be without an income for about a year and we will be just fine - less travel, but no major stress. If we had children this probably wouldn’t be feasible and I’d have to stay at my job.
We also have almost no conflict/arguments, I think largely because we have no children.
#18
In our early 60s no kids. We never really wanted kids, both from messed up homes.
It's good, I don't know what the future holds but today it's great.
Richard Graham 3 years ago
My sentiments exactly. I am 69, my wife is 64. We are both from messed-up homes, and we are both glad we never reproduced.
Stay Off My Lawn 3 years ago
Same here. My childhood is 100% why I refused to have kids and fought tooth and nail to be sterilized. And the parents who made my life hell are mad at me for not giving them grandchildren to torture. Whatever. I did my part to break a cycle and I’m proud of myself.
Brian Droste 3 years ago
Because you and your spouse came from a messed up life that doesn't mean that you raise your kids the same way. But I am glad you two had a good life together.
#19
We got married in our early 30's and wanted kids. We left it up to nature. Well, nature said no. We decided we weren't going to spend money on trying. It just wasn't in the cards for us. We have a good life, travel, boating, and pets. I love all my nieces and nephews and make a point of seeing them as much as possible.
Just recently we found out that because of a medical problem I was having, they would have to tie my tubes or insert an IUD. Thus killing any chances of us having children. Even though we knew it wasn't going to happen for us, we kind of always held out hope it be that 50 miracle. Cried for days
nini 3 years ago
And stories like this are the very reason why we shouldn't ask others whether/why they (don't) want children.
E Menendez 3 years ago (edited)
As a person that is childless NOT by choice, I always honestly answer. I have recurrent miscarriage and haven't been able to carry. I honestly like the opportunity to let people know that there is a third option to the chosing to have kids or not - we haven't been able to. All my babies are in heaven waiting for me.
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#20
Early 40s. Only child. Married. No kids. No niblings.
I don't like children. I didn't like being a child and I didn't like the other children I had to be around except for my two close friends. I was always happy not to have any siblings. The thought of having to be around another child all the time was horrible. I wanted my parents to myself. I talked to my parents a lot, and otherwise read books and played alone with my toys. I liked making up stories about them and didn't want anyone to interrupt me.
Still don't want kids. Never got that biological urge. Just thinking about the distraction of having a kid around raises my blood pressure. I like things quiet and predictable. I don't want to have to worry about school catchments, feeding one, dealing with their emotional growth or any of that nonsense. I have no idea what kids are like, how they work, or what they need. Babies are the worst and become semi-tolerable around the age of 7 or 8 if they were raised properly. I simply have no patience and I know that about myself.
I suppose women are supposed to like babies and children, but I simply don't and I'm happy to live a life where I am never around any. I know parents think the world of their own children and that's fine. You're supposed to. They're yours. But to me, your child is just another human being that is almost certainly more annoying than the other human beings in my immediate vicinity. If I've noticed your child, they have already likely annoyed me. Sorry.
I have met a few kids I like, the children of friends. They universally like to read, are quiet and are well-spoken. Those are the kind of adults I prefer as well.
featherytoad 3 years ago
Ditto, I couldn't have said it better. I would be scared I would become abusive if they became defiant. I just don't have the patience. It would really p**s me off if they back talked me or disobeyed me. At least I always knew that and didn't have kids for the wrong reason.
setsuriseikou 3 years ago
Amen, sister! I'm almost 40, work with children very often, but never ever had the urge to have one myself. Can't really see how kids are cute.
Hotdogking 3 years ago
That like about noticing a child is probably the most relatable thing I’ve read today
Helen Butoyi 3 years ago
I am a mother of three, grandmother of 5; raising children isn't easy therefore, if one doesn't feel up to it, they shouldn't be pressured to do so, as rewarding as it may in the long run when they turn out to be great
#21
My wife and I decided not to have kids. We are 42 and 45 years old. We have found there is a social stigma--that is kind of frustrating. People assume there is something wrong with us, or, the most annoying thing, "oh thats okay, there is still time..." Plus, we basically have nothing in common with our previous friends who are all balls deep in diapers and day care etc-- when we do see our friends, all they talk about is their kids with each other etc. Its been really hard to find people to hang out with that don't have little kids at our age. The last bit which pisses me off is when I explain to my friends why we don't want to do it-- A) Money. We have plenty now to live in a nice house, in a nice area and do nice things- if we had a kid we'd be broke. B) Time and Business- both of us run our own businesses and have spent a lot of time making it this far, neither of us are willing to give it up. C) The fact that we think the world is headed for a bit of disaster with climate change, over population, shortages of water and energy etc--just don't want to bring a child into this right now- and D) At this point I would be 60 when my kid graduated high school, just don't have the energy to do it right and frankly no desire. -- We get from people either we are selfish or "oh you'll figure it out." Yeah-- I've seen my friends figure it out- Someone quits their job because day care is almost as much as their salary, people get tired and fat, then in debt, then divorced with a 7 and 5 year old. Maybe I am a negative a*****e, or a realist but mostly I think misery loves company and people are jealous that we are happy, financially secure, fit, and get to sleep in on Saturdays. Our realistic problem right now is decided how we can get a beach house to retire in.
Brian Droste 3 years ago
You are not a negative a-hole. All those people who put you down for not wanting kids. They are the a-hole. It is really not any of their business.
Featherking 2 years ago (edited)
In what universe is it SELFISH to not have children you don’t want? People seem almost brainwashed, it makes zero logical sense what so ever. No; HAVING children in spite of what you actually want is selfish, and it’s the innocent child that will pay the price for it. In the name of everything decent and good, shake the delusion.
Prudence Williams 2 years ago
Yes, I hate it when people can't or won't take, I didn't want any as an answer.
Steven Harder 3 years ago
Some people are determined to align themselves with lofty ideals, to the point that they consider children more worthy of their time and resources than sleeping or beach houses. They don’t know what they’re missing.
#22
My great aunt and uncle never had kids. They both retired by 50 and go on vacation really regularly all over the world, roughly every 2 months. Live in the beautiful countryside of Scotland, with not another neighbour in sight. Will regularly visit my dad and aunt, and seem to be happy. Although, who knows what goes on behind closed doors. Their retirement lifestyle has made a serious case for myself not to have kids.
#23
I liked the idea of having kids (but it wasn't a deal breaker for me), my wife absolute did not want kids.
25 years later and we're very happy with our decision. Don't get me wrong; I tend to spoil any kids I get around if I have the chance. But not having kids has allowed us to travel more, to save more, and not to have to think about what to do with the kids when we want to go out to dinner.
(Though truth be told I'd probably make one of those obnoxious doting fathers who show everyone my kid's pictures. I'm not regretful; I think I'd be just as happy, but my life would be unrecognizably different.)
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
This makes me happy. I am scared of getting married. I am this way cause ABSOLUTELY do NOT want kids. If I get married then comes the possibility. Like what if my SO wants kids? What if I get pregnant? Then what? I'm also scared I will hurt my kids mentally. I like being the free introvert that I am. Plus I will hopefully be an auntie one day.
Sardonyx_3 3 years ago
^w^ sounds like the perfect life to me! - no giant attachments that you constantly need to worry about (mentally, physically, emotionally), etc.
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#24
I am 47. I chose not to have kids, and married someone who can't have kids.
We did adopt one of our nephews but, and I want to be clear on this, we did it not because we wanted a kid, but because he needed a better home. He was 17 when we adopted him, and He is now 19 and moved out late last year.
I work from home, and our home is happy and often full of laughter and all that other Hallmark s**t. It's a good life, and we both feel fulfilled.
Occasionally, we have people ask us what the secret is to our happiness, and honestly we don't know, but kids are not really part of it.
Our 20th anniversary is coming up later this week.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
It's also wildly different adopting a teenager that's almost an adult than starting from the beginning
#25
I never wanted children, perhaps because I babysat a lot in my young teens and I couldn't see why people did this on purpose. My husband didn't really care one way or the other, but I knew it would basically be my responsibility to work full time and raise kids. We had moved away from where our parents lived, and I would have no support system. I had no desire for that to be my life. Some of our friends have so many problems with their children that I don't think they will be much help to them when they need it. My only regret is it would be nice to have a grandchild to pass our money to should we have any left at the end, and I do worry who will assist me or my husband when one of us is alone, but having a child is no guarantee there. We were able to retire in our early sixties and have a nice life.
seasidecav 3 years ago
I'm 54, childfree and leaving any money left after I die to animal charities.
Jen Hart 3 years ago
Could pass inheritance to nieces and nephews, or set up a scholarship related to a career path you believe in, or give to a worthwhile charity... lots of possibilities 😃
ShellsBells 3 years ago
I'm pretty sure the worthwhile charities seasidecav wants to use are animal charities.
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Linda Atwell 2 months ago
Help raise my 7 younger siblings , 24 hours a day ,7 days a week, year after year. Love children but not in my house. Preschool and daycare teacher and got my daily joy of children. I do like my time for myself. My husband did not want children and I love all my nieces and nephews.
#26
I'm fifty, no kids (no spouse). Absolutely no regrets, never wanted them (never really wanted a spouse either). Unlike others here, I don't love kids; babies stress me out and younger kids are pretty annoying. I find kids most interesting when they reach about 12 or so and you can see them start becoming adults.
When people (mostly relatives) used to ask me about it, I'd be like "don't jinx me!". Now they don't bother asking, I guess I'm old enough the question is kinda moot. Never got my tubes tied so it was always kinda a worry but I'm actually glad I always had the option if I had changed my mind (everyone changes so much over the years, way more than you realize when you're twenty and know everything). A couple of times I day dreamed about having kids with some guy I was infatuated with but I realized I didn't really want kids for their sake and that would be a horrible reason to have some.
#27
Mid-40s here with mid-30s gf. We're loving it. We travel, we have a little dog that gets spoiled, we visit our various siblings' children and come off like heroes at Christmas.
#28
I'm 48. We've been together almost 30 years and never wanted kids. We made up some excuses for family but the truth is that we just didn't want to. And we LOVE our decision. We borrow our siblings children (three on her side, two on mine) 2-3 times a year and we see them on holidays and that's MORE than enough. Lots of love on both sides of our family and in our home. People say that our two dogs are our children but that's not true and we don't think of them that way. They are no more our children than our television or our cars are. (Don't get me wrong, we love the dogs, but we don't believe for a second that they are a substitute that we've chosen.) Best decision we ever made.
Sonia Ward 3 years ago
Hmm..dogs should be thought of as a part of the family, unlike TV or cars. So a strange comparison.
Damon Smithwick 3 years ago
I have 3 daughters and 2 dogters. My pups are like my kids. These people shouldn’t have pets if they think no more of them than the appliances.
Helen Butoyi 3 years ago
I think they regard them more like companions, not lesser than family
Load More Replies... Sharon Morris 3 years ago
I glad to hear you NOT calling your dogs your fur babies! It's absolutely hilarious when I hear people say their dogs or whatever are exactly like their kids. They're not, they're ANIMALS. They are part of the family but God forbid you put real kids in a crate to train or travel with! All of my life I wanted one child, a boy. I was blessed with my son and stopped. I had him young and was a grandma in my late 40s. I'm mid 60s now and enjoy a lot more freedoms than others I know. No shame in any of our choices.
Al Sachiko 3 years ago
Humans are animals too... We both are from the animal kingdom.
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#29
Turned 40 this year. My nieces and nephews are cool as hell, but I'm very, very glad that I don't have children of my own. It doesn't seem worth it to me, I have exactly zero desire to take on that additional expense/responsibility/etc. for the next 18+ years. My girlfriend and I have been together about 5 years. She's only 30, but she doesn't want kids either. Works out nicely.
Only weird thing people say to me about it is "you'd make a really great father." Which is probably true; If I have a responsibility, then I will handle that responsibility to the best of my ability. I don't think I have great "fatherly instincts," by any means, but I do have two excellent role models to emulate in the form of my own father and my little brother. However, I don't have any kind of desire to do it, and if somehow pressed into it by circumstances... I could see myself becoming resentful. No kid deserves that.
Mia Black 3 years ago
I like to host friends and as a kid i took care of many animals, so, many people said that I would be a good mother. But since early child hood i knew, i don't ever want to be pregnant, give birth (it's in my nightmares though) and have the responsibilty for a child. I don't feel this way. I dont like Kids that much and i need to be able to communicate with persons, which is kinda Hard for me with Kids, memtally disabled and elderly people. I don't feel this motherinstinct. Just like to host and be there for friends i like. But not 24/7.
#30
We're nearing retirement, (68 & 66), and decided not to have kids for a number of reasons- wife's career, money, *very* different views on child rearing, etc. I wouldn't say we have no regrets- occasionally we'll see and spend time with our young friends with kids, and there are those "what if" moments. On the other hand, we'll see and hear about families with kids whose lives are just turned upside down by really bad experiences. And it's not always associated with the parents making bad choices- we see people who have done all the "right" things and have had lousy outcomes, and others who have just screwed up time and time again, and the kids turn out great, so there just seems to be such a random aspect to it that it's kind of baffling
All that being said, we're very comfortable with our decision. We're financially comfortable, we travel quite a bit, and although we live far from immediate family, our young friends have kids who we can spend time with, baby sit on occasion, and get just enough kid time to keep us happy.
#31
I have a genetic disorder with a 50% chance of passing it on. It is a connective disorder and I am in pain all the time and take 5 pills a day just to maintain status quo. On top of that me getting pregnant, I run the risk of further damaging my spine beyond what my condition has already done (L1-S2) and my uterus could rupture. I wouldn’t want to pass this condition on to anyone. We actually just went through a pregnancy scare and made the decision to terminate if I was pregnant. It was good having a plan in place but it cemented our commitment to not have kids. As to adopting, with me having a condition that could cause my body to deteriorate next year or in 50 years, it isn’t something we see as feasible.
#32
My neighbors (passed in 2007, 2010), never had children of their own. They were the closest family for their grown nephews, but they didn’t visit often. My sisters and I lived across the street and we were pretty much their grandkids in their later years. We exchanged Christmas gifts and the wife always had candy for us and would watch us play. The husband would walk with us to school pretty often. We helped the wife after her husband passed and then took care of her up until we admitted her to hospice care where she passed shortly. We inherited quite a bit from them and helped the family clean the house after the fact. We haven’t spoken to their family since the funeral and their house is a rental now. I know from their photos that they had really full lives without children and they seemed happy without any to take care of, but because of how they acted with our family, I know that they liked kids a lot. I can’t speak for them, but I think they were happy in their last years.
#33
I'm 40 and we decided not to have kids. I'm a sixth grade teacher, so I get my fill of kids during the week. I have two nieces who are 7 and 5 and a nephew who's 2, so I have a lot of kids in my life. The good part is we have the freedom to spend money on things we want, we can go out any time, have friends over any time.
I am sure I would have been happy to have kids - I love kids - but my wife did not want them and my love for her is enough that I don't regret not having kids.
#34
I didn't want kids, then I had cancer and was unable to have kids. Now in my 50s, I realise I desperately regret the decision not to have children. I howl regularly about it. I've had a good life, travelled the world and had enough money to do whatever I wanted, almost immediately. But it's mostly meaningless. Spouse didn't want kids, didn't regret the decision. I did/do/will.
#35
I miss having a family. I never really wanted a *baby* but I do wish now for a family.
Jerry Mathers 3 years ago
Adoption is always an option if you're so inclined. Family is about those who we choose to surround ourselves with.
#36
Starting to wonder about old-age care. We need to start being nicer to our nieces and nephews. Otherwise, it was great to not have kids. Lots of freedom and extra money. I guess I wouldn't mind having grandchildren, but that's unlikely.
What do you think ?
Angrywolf 3 years ago
I will never have children, I am autistic and there is a big chance that my child will be autistic to, And i don't want that, Not for the kid and certainly not for me. Life is already hard enough, When you are autistic it's even harder, And my life is difficult enough without a kid, So no kids for me.
Roald 3 years ago
Nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. There can be days or weeks or months when you just barely have capacity to survive. I hear you
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Donkeywheel 3 years ago (edited)
Every two or three days actually… Tomorrow it’s the tips
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Headless Roach 3 years ago
This all boils down to letting people live however they like. It's as simple as that, yet so difficult for some to grasp.
Jerry Mathers 3 years ago
While I personally love being a dad, I totally respect anyone who chooses not have to have kids. When you have a child, you owe them your best. Anyone that does not want to do that is worthy respect and support with absolutely no need to offer an explanation for their decision. They are significantly better people than someone who begrudgingly has a kid then resents/ ignores/ abuses them. The same is true for those that choose to have them.
Pamela24 3 years ago
I'm still on the fence about having children. I'm at the critical age when I "should" have them and I just don't know. Leaning towards not having them, my biological clock is silent (but it had rung before, so who knows...). I'm neurotic as hell and there are so many moments when I'm grateful for not having kids yet. Dunno. Really dunno.
Gin 3 years ago
I wanted them when young. My biological clock went the other way - I slowly lost the desire and have never regretted it.
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Daria 3 years ago
I'm not yet over 40 and I do want kids, always wanted. But sadly, I was never able to provide for them because I'm poor. So when this whole "situation" occurred here in Russia and my income hit the historical bottom, I feel happy and relieved about not having kids. They absolutely don't deserve the life of misery and depression they'd have with me otherwise.
Mushroom 3 years ago
I may not be over 40 but for me it's: 1. Seeing the parallels between how my father was raised and how he raised me, I'm scared that I'm going to continue the cycle of being a s**t parent 2. There's some ilnesses I have that i do NOT want to pass on 3. I'm in such a bad place mentally that i can barely take care of myself, let alone a whole a*s person 4. I want to travel, and being that one family on the plane who's kid is always screaming and kicking seats doesn't really sound good 5. I've yet to find a reason to do have them
gas station cola 3 years ago
thank you for being selfless & considering what would be best for your child before deciding to even have one. you're far more loving & responsible than many parents.
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Scarlett 3 years ago
I’ll start this off by saying I like working with kids. I love being a camp counselor. That being said, I will never have any. I will not pass my mental health problems down or make a kid deal with my depression and anxiety. (There’s also no way in hell anyone would want to spend more then two months dealing with me, let alone their whole life. Aka I’m probably going to be alone my whole life. I’ve accepted this.)
Alan Christensen 3 years ago
I'm 71 and never wanted children. No regrets. "You'll want children when you get old." No, I have friends. They're better.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
Just turned 45 and childfree. I made the decision as a teenager, was told constantly by everyone around me that I would change my mind. I didn't, I haven't and it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. There's loads of kids in my family, I love being and aunty and I have the money to treat them because I haven't spent two decades paying to sustain other humans.
Angrywolf 3 years ago
I will never have children, I am autistic and there is a big chance that my child will be autistic to, And i don't want that, Not for the kid and certainly not for me. Life is already hard enough, When you are autistic it's even harder, And my life is difficult enough without a kid, So no kids for me.
Roald 3 years ago
Nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. There can be days or weeks or months when you just barely have capacity to survive. I hear you
Load More Replies... Donkeywheel 3 years ago (edited)
Every two or three days actually… Tomorrow it’s the tips
Load More Replies... Headless Roach 3 years ago
This all boils down to letting people live however they like. It's as simple as that, yet so difficult for some to grasp.
Jerry Mathers 3 years ago
While I personally love being a dad, I totally respect anyone who chooses not have to have kids. When you have a child, you owe them your best. Anyone that does not want to do that is worthy respect and support with absolutely no need to offer an explanation for their decision. They are significantly better people than someone who begrudgingly has a kid then resents/ ignores/ abuses them. The same is true for those that choose to have them.
Pamela24 3 years ago
I'm still on the fence about having children. I'm at the critical age when I "should" have them and I just don't know. Leaning towards not having them, my biological clock is silent (but it had rung before, so who knows...). I'm neurotic as hell and there are so many moments when I'm grateful for not having kids yet. Dunno. Really dunno.
Gin 3 years ago
I wanted them when young. My biological clock went the other way - I slowly lost the desire and have never regretted it.
Load More Replies... Daria 3 years ago
I'm not yet over 40 and I do want kids, always wanted. But sadly, I was never able to provide for them because I'm poor. So when this whole "situation" occurred here in Russia and my income hit the historical bottom, I feel happy and relieved about not having kids. They absolutely don't deserve the life of misery and depression they'd have with me otherwise.
Mushroom 3 years ago
I may not be over 40 but for me it's: 1. Seeing the parallels between how my father was raised and how he raised me, I'm scared that I'm going to continue the cycle of being a s**t parent 2. There's some ilnesses I have that i do NOT want to pass on 3. I'm in such a bad place mentally that i can barely take care of myself, let alone a whole a*s person 4. I want to travel, and being that one family on the plane who's kid is always screaming and kicking seats doesn't really sound good 5. I've yet to find a reason to do have them
gas station cola 3 years ago
thank you for being selfless & considering what would be best for your child before deciding to even have one. you're far more loving & responsible than many parents.
Load More Replies... Scarlett 3 years ago
I’ll start this off by saying I like working with kids. I love being a camp counselor. That being said, I will never have any. I will not pass my mental health problems down or make a kid deal with my depression and anxiety. (There’s also no way in hell anyone would want to spend more then two months dealing with me, let alone their whole life. Aka I’m probably going to be alone my whole life. I’ve accepted this.)
Alan Christensen 3 years ago
I'm 71 and never wanted children. No regrets. "You'll want children when you get old." No, I have friends. They're better.
Mystery Egg 3 years ago
Just turned 45 and childfree. I made the decision as a teenager, was told constantly by everyone around me that I would change my mind. I didn't, I haven't and it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. There's loads of kids in my family, I love being and aunty and I have the money to treat them because I haven't spent two decades paying to sustain other humans.
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