Food addiction is real. I've battled obesity my whole life. I had no idea how to control portions or feel fullness or what was healthy until I was an adult, and by then I was so addicted I never lost the weight. Well, I'm losing now in my 40s. That father is trying to spare his kids from bad health and suffering. The mother is being manipulative because, like many addicts, she does not want to change. Fine if she wants to live that way, but she's attempting to normalize her addiction by recruiting her grandchildren, probably to punish her son for choosing a different path and making her feel bad about her addiction. Maybe the dad is too obsessive over healthy food for his kids, but the mother is causing the kids problems by acting like the junk is so important, and it will cause them confusion. And the claims of bullying... UGH. Nursing home it is.

She can’t afford rent, but can order in at least 3 times a week? We never order in, way too expensive.

If you're able to say "I don't know any better" then you DO know better. You're just not acting on it.

To the people saying "the son is the one with an unhealthy relationship with food"... These foods are addictive and the grandmother is bringing this demon back into his life. Good for him turning his life around. Grandma didn't and knows it. If she can't convince others to eat like her she would be faced with the idea that it's a poor decision. She'd sacrifice the health of her family before doing that.

YTAs did not disappoint.

If OP has a picture of himself when he was a teenager, he should show his kids what their grandma did to him when he was younger. Then ask them if they want to end up like him when he was that age. Then tell them that is what their grandma is trying to do to them. Hopefully that will get them to see their father's side of the issue.

When I moved to a new house in a very new place 30 years ago with my parents, we found that the old stove in the house barely worked. For over a week we had to eat fast food until we could get a new stove. I couldn't wait until I could get something green inside of me! I wanted some broccoli so damned bad! Spinach, peas... Anything! When we got that new stove (I did a lot of the cooking... I loved to!) And I made a healthy meal... Our bodies didn't know how to act! It was wonderful!!

I completely agree that mother was out of bounds for not respecting OPs parenting choices, especially in her own home. I also agree that establishing unhealthy childhood eating habits (like fast food three times per week) is dangerous, and OP was absolutely right to be so frustrated. At first, I thought pouring cleaning product over the food was a bit overdramatic, but when I read that OPs mom has a track record of pulling things out of the trash...she is so deep into food addiction. It's incredibly disturbing. OP is right to prioritize her children by seeking other arrangements.

The thing I couldn't ascertain was whether the Mum was looking after the kids while parents were at work? Otherwise why was she feeding them?

"One line of cocaïne wont hurt" same energy as that since i know why the Eu bans half the food "additives" used in the usa... Also bullying is only bad if you cant rationally explain why you are doing it. Tolerance itself is a paradox. To promote tolerance you have to not tolerate the intolerant... that is why the bullying accusations are sinister... they abuse the ppl who can't wrap their heads around what I just said... The mom is the worst type of "victim"... The kind of ppl who can never hold themselves responsible.

Verdict: NTA. Notes from OP: They try to have conversations about healthy food with their kids. Mom is on disability but it doesn't cover all expenses. 10 yo thinks she's a bully because it's mean to bully people over weight.

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NTA but a bit harsh taking food away from kids and binning it. Talk to the Grandmother and make a compromise. Fast food say once a fortnight or even a month. Turns it into a treat for the kids, time off from the kitchen for the parents and grandma gets to treat the kids but also give her a warning of the consequences if she slips into old habits again

NTA, on the other hand a a kid I was in and out of children's homes, and my parents very, very rarely had the time or money for junk-food so I rarely ate it, and I still became a rather large size 22 by 16, its not so much the type of food you eat, but the amount you eat, its also down to genetics, my grandma was a beached whale, my mum was eventually a big woman, my sister turned into an overweight creature too. I got into healthy portion controlled eating and sensible exercise and dropped to a vastly more healthy weight, and most of mum's family eek accused me of being anorexic. Something I never was. I'm now a size sixteen and have been for years and I do NOT ever over eat, but I don't get obsessed with all healthy eating/no junk food either. its NOT bullying to try teach a person to eat healthy, and ask them what they'd prefer to attend grandma's funeral in a short space of time or have her around for longer?

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Yes she should absolutely respect the rules of the house. But does dad actually think his kids will never set eyes on a McDonald's?

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