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“Am I The Jerk For Refusing To Push My Obese Cousin Around In A Wheelchair For A Day?”
Occasionally our loved and close ones ask for some favors that we’re not equipped to fulfill. Whether it’s a simple question of ability or free time, we’re all bound to say “no”, at least sometimes. Unfortunately, this can lead to unpleasant interactions, even falling-outs if the emotional reaction is strong. It then becomes a predicament to navigate the relationship, not damage it any further, and set expectations in place.
Today’s story covers a difficult situation to navigate and the reaction of a woman who felt she was being shamed, and her cousin who heartfeltly tried to help in her best interest. Sadly, the cousin wasn’t able to fulfill the request of pushing the 600-pound (272kg) woman around in a wheelchair, even if it was only for one day.
More Info: Reddit
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Not all favors are created equally – some can’t be fulfilled due to simple limitations of human beings
Image credits: AllGo – An App For Plus Size People (not the actual photo)
An obese woman asked her cousin if they could wheel her around due to her limited mobility, as she needed to attend a wedding, and the cousin declined
Image Credits: u/OneSoreSpine/
Image credits: Tim Gouw (not the actual photo)
The woman was furious, as it meant she was going to miss the wedding all because of her mobility needs
Image Credits: u/OneSoreSpine/
They looked into feasible alternatives, even renting a scooter, however, every single option was either too expensive or out of reach
Recently a person approached the well-known r/AITA community, looking for an outside perspective on their recent family dispute. The story begins with a woman asking her cousin if they could do her a favor and taxi her to an out-of-state wedding, which she needed to attend.
The trouble began when the OP (Original Poster) realized that their car couldn’t carry her mobility scooter. The car they were supposed to take to the wedding complicated matters more. OP’s car could’ve been heavily damaged due to uneven weight distribution if the woman sat in it for an extended time. Therefore, the cousin asked the woman’s parents if they could lend them their truck.
The parents declined, reasoning that they won’t do it even for their daughter since the cousin has a bad driving history. Then, the cousin looked into any rentals and mobility scooters to remedy the predicament, but the prices were too high. OP was recently unemployed, and the woman couldn’t afford it either.
The woman lashed out at the cousin, as she felt as if she was shamed by them when they said that they wouldn’t be strong enough to push her wheelchair. The cousin specified that the wedding would be held in a public park and that they were barely able to wheel the woman around on decent pavement.
Image credits: Hans Moerman (not the actual photo)
Pushing the wheelchair on grass would make the narrow wheels dig into the ground, rendering it impossible to move it even for a couple of men. Renting a mobility scooter in that particular area was out of the question, too, as the OP inquired with them and found out that they wouldn’t lease it to them due to off-road use.
According to the World Health Organization, adult obesity has more than doubled since the 1990s, and adolescent obesity quadrupled. Health risks are increasingly well-researched, all pointing out the risks which obesity causes. The risks include diabetes, cancer, reproduction, and a more difficult time moving and sleeping, amongst others. In 2023, 43% of the adult population is obese worldwide.
The last remaining option for the woman was to use a flatbed which the party had. However, as per OP’s words, the cousin rejected it, saying “she would feel humiliated having to be rolled in like that”. The OP felt bad about the situation, felt as if they had left her stranded.
To be fair, the cousin did try their best to aid the lady, but they didn’t have the tools to do much more. As a result, the woman was furious with her cousin. However, in the cousin’s defense, redditors did agree that the cousin did nothing wrong. In fact, redditors provided deeper insights into what the logistics would look like for such a trip and what to look out for.
Image credits: Yassine Khalfalli (not the actual photo)
Some even flat-out said that it’s not possible even with the best intentions, as the OP’s car couldn’t handle the weight distribution or it would severely damage the car. It’s a rare moment on Reddit for the majority of people to agree upon the same thing.
Talking about obesity, a natural way to help one become more mobile is, of course, losing weight. As many of us know, losing weight is a difficult process in itself. Interestingly, it appears that losing weight is the easiest part of the process in terms of staying in shape. Research suggests overweight or obese people lose a significant amount of weight during their lifetime, however, most of them gain the weight back. In other words, once a person is obese, it is extremely rare for them to return to a healthy weight.
Nutrition experts recommend choosing a permanent diet to stay on the path to being healthy. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself “Do I imagine myself eating this particular diet for the rest of my life?” If not, you probably shouldn’t choose it. Even if it’s proven to be effective, you likely won’t be able to stick with it due to the restrictive nature of it.
In conclusion, it seems that OP does indeed truly care about the woman, but was unable to help her. Do you think that OP could’ve done something more and the woman’s reaction was warranted? How would you react if your cousin was furious once denied a favor? What would you do if the same request came your way? Let us know in the comments below.
Netizens were concerned about the woman’s health and mobility, as well as re-affirmed to the cousin that they didn’t do anything wrong
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What do you think ?
NoneYa41 5 months ago
This 'shaming' is getting out of control. People cannot expect the world to bend to their whims. Get some help. Change your lifestyle. Get medical/mental health treatment. Or deal with the consequences of your actions.
Guy-Incognito 5 months ago
I remember reading an article on the Guardian promoting "body positivity". One of the girls interviewed ate a full pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner (yes 3 pizzas every day plus snacks). I think we need to get away with obsession with perfect bodies but promoting and normalising such unhealthy attitudes and behaviours is dangerous.
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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago
As a morbidly obese woman, I am unable to walk farther than the hallway, so basically room to room. When I do get to the next room, I'm gasping so hard that I nearly pee myself. There is no way I would ask for or expect someone to push me anywhere. I'm too damned heavy. I could put somebody's back out for life! Why on earth the cousin is angry, I have no idea. It sounds to me like OP has done everything possible. Either cousin goes on the flatbed, or she doesn't go.
Alexandra 5 months ago
Oh, so the NTA! OP has explored every possible option except the one where she seriously injures herself pushing her cousin. Pushing an ordinary wheelchair over rough terrain carrying someone obese WILL injure you. I'm sorry for your cousin, but she can't ask you to injure yourself for her sake. That's just selfish.
NoneYa41 5 months ago
This 'shaming' is getting out of control. People cannot expect the world to bend to their whims. Get some help. Change your lifestyle. Get medical/mental health treatment. Or deal with the consequences of your actions.
Guy-Incognito 5 months ago
I remember reading an article on the Guardian promoting "body positivity". One of the girls interviewed ate a full pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner (yes 3 pizzas every day plus snacks). I think we need to get away with obsession with perfect bodies but promoting and normalising such unhealthy attitudes and behaviours is dangerous.
Load More Replies... Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago
As a morbidly obese woman, I am unable to walk farther than the hallway, so basically room to room. When I do get to the next room, I'm gasping so hard that I nearly pee myself. There is no way I would ask for or expect someone to push me anywhere. I'm too damned heavy. I could put somebody's back out for life! Why on earth the cousin is angry, I have no idea. It sounds to me like OP has done everything possible. Either cousin goes on the flatbed, or she doesn't go.
Alexandra 5 months ago
Oh, so the NTA! OP has explored every possible option except the one where she seriously injures herself pushing her cousin. Pushing an ordinary wheelchair over rough terrain carrying someone obese WILL injure you. I'm sorry for your cousin, but she can't ask you to injure yourself for her sake. That's just selfish.
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