I don't think the issue is that he didn't help. Not getting in the way is sometimes the only helpful thing to do. But I think that the attitude towards the situation was off-putting. If he'd explained that jumping in could be harmful and that he knows she is being taken care of then that is different. But laughing about someone fainting and then calmly eating your meal without explaining your reasoning is off-putting behaviour.

Was driving to work on a freeway one morning (about 5am). Suddenly, a car went out of control and slammed head-on into the concrete divider. I jumped out of my car, ran over to the accident, and wrenched the bent door open. Checking on the driver, he was conscious, but in a lot of pain. I told him not to move (he was fumbling for his seatbelt). I put my coat over him because it was cold and I tried to avoid shock. I had to flag down someone with a cellphone - early days of cells and I didn't take mine. I went back to the guy and was talking to him to try to keep him from moving or losing consciousness. When the fire department and EMTs got him loaded, I asked if he needed me to call anyone and got my coat back just as they were shutting the ambulance. I drove to work and as soon as I walked in, th adrenaline hit me and I started shaking so bad I needed to sit down for about 15 minutes. I was just a restaurant cleaner... was doing nothing the right thing to do?

I don’t care what your job is. I’d be a little apprehensive about living with anybody who just sits there eating their dinner in the middle of a chaotic emergency scenario.

If she's breathing, not bleeding and not in a dangerous or place, there's nothing you can do but call an ambulance.

Maybe they just didn't want to be involved. Being a nurse or EMT does not require you to be on duty 24/7.

In the Reddit comments a stated nurse said she would not consider fainting as a medical emergency. Medical insurance professionals here, Medicare, Medicaid and medical insurance all consider fainting a true emergency. He should have done or said something. He's a jerk

Normally the summary quizzes are no brainers and I skip them, but this time I took it and really did have to think about my answer. From the percentages spread across the board it seems like this is actually a very complex issue. Based on his responses OP sounds like a poor communicator and that he appears to not be mature.

Too much drama over something that was out OP responsibility. Emergencies happen all the time and the world doesn't stop because of it, there were other people who controlled the situation. It is not like OP turned out of a situation where he was the only one involved.

I was down for two days and thought it was Sunday and it was Tuesday. Talked to my guy and he just said you’re crazy and hung up. I ended up in ICU. So yeah he should’ve checked on the stranger. It goes to character. You don’t just calmly eat while another person is having a problem.

But did they see/hear someone calling an ambulance or just assume someone in the crowd would? For me that's the big question, nurse or not a "someone else will take care of it" attitude in an emergency is off putting. You never know if everyone else is thinking the same thing and no one ends up doing anything.

It sounds like he was willing to help but she was immediately crowded by her family. Everyone knows not to intervene in this situation and add to a crowd that could make it worse. She laid herself down before passing out, he doesn't have a kit with him so she'd need an ambulance to come check her out anyway. There wouldn't be much he could do but keep her comfortable which her family did. Sounds like girlfriend wanted him to be a hero and was disappointed she didn't get a story to brag on about.

I'd have dumped him too. No compassion.

It's what makes society better if you know how to help someone else. If a robber is holding you up and demanding your wallet, and a police officer walks by and says, "Sorry I'm not on duty", what would you think of the officer? I mean, my husband's an IT guy and still helps people with their computers when he's off work. It's called being a good human. If there wasn't anything he could do, he could respond in a much more understanding way, rather than stuffing his mouth and being cold about it. The coldness is the part that makes him an a*****e.

I was sitting in a food court once having a break with a paramedic when an elderly woman at a nearby table was sick. He immediately jumped in to help her. I was impressed and frankly thought it was sexy. Caring men are awesome.

There was so little he could have done, and he did not have the information necessary to interject in the situation. All the people ripping into him are abject garbage, Im not sure they even mean well just jumping on a band wagon they do not understand and demanding others do what they think should be done. Thats a HARD go f**k yourself. To every last one of them. That was NOT an emergency and he did absolutely nothing wrong. His fiance needs to grow tf up and best thing for him is if she seeks the mental health counseling she desperately needs.

Those who think OP did nothing wrong. It absolutely doesn't matter what different he would have made for this lady! He had NOTHING! And no EMPATHY either! He himself thought he knew what might be wrong and when this fainting happened, he did NOTHING AT ALL!!!! Not only that, he carried on eating! Wtaf is wrong with people thinking he "couldn't have done anything anyway" THATS NOT THE POINT! Fgs he couldn't have done any harm by being helpful to this elderly lady! But this NURSE carries on eating while there's chaos around him and is wondering how to make it better with his partner?? I'd NEVER be able to look at him the same way again. To you OP you don't seem to even give a damn, that's just from your writing!

I'm curious if he wasn't a nurse or EMT I can't help but feeling the opinions would be different and to me that's just sad. Here is saying I heard to live by about opinions ( opinions are like a.s.s.h.o.l.e.s everyone has one

What could he have done? He could have 1 calmed the situation by saying "im a nurse, can I help"? 2 make sure ambulance is actually called and have the correct information 3 keeping a close eye on her breathing so there is no danger of choking on food/her tounge, vomit etc 4 keep a finger on her pulse. This can give a whole variaty of information that the hospital really want and need 5 make sure her clothing are not obstructing her in any way. Low blood flow can stem from circultation cut-of, something older people dont always feel. But hey. Im only ln Red Cross, so what do I know ..

Late to comment, but the thing that got me was that he continued eating. That just seems so disconnected from the situation, whether or not helping would have been beneficial. His whole attitude comes across as so disinterested, I would also be questioning what I thought I knew about this person.

I think people should always try to help a person in need, even if you don't have experience; you could at least hold her hand or cover her up with your jacket and speak softy and encouraging to the patient until the ambulance arrives. I don't blame the girl for having second thoughts. If you two are really serious about marriage; then you need to have a really good talk about this subject. It is a touchy matter and it is part of a good marriage. I speak from experience of being married for 55 1/2 years to a wonderful man. I remember one incident when my children were young and while driving, we saw an old lady trying to cross a very busy street. My husband stopped the car, then proceeded to stop traffic and kindly helped this old lady to get across the street. He didn't have to think twice, he just did it. I miss him so much.

The problem I would have in this situation is that in todays blame society if I, as a trained nurse stepped in to help when off duty and for some reason something bad happened or went wrong then I could be sued. When i am actually at work im covered by my insurance but not outside on the street. Maybe even prosecuted, although it would be a stretch.

Would it have been some upstanding show if he got up and heroically lept to her rescue, performed some life saving CPR for a few seconds before getting up and thanking him. Before going to sit down and continue her meal? Yes. Yes it would have. Would any of that have actually helped? No. This was a case of pre existing medical conditions at play, presumably blood sugar, and her family was already there. The most qualified people were already present. Unless they called out, asking for more help, which from the sounds of it they DIDNT, he did the right thing in not getting involved. Maybe he could have turned in his seat to keep an eye on her, and intervened if things got bad, but that's it... and also a lot of people don't like that kind of gawking. That said, the way he communicated to his partner seemed poor. I think he needs to work on that.

As a medical assistant--we were taught to intervene (it isn't required, but we can) and do what we could within our scope of practice while someone calls for an ambulance. We care for the person until the ambulance or someone else with a wider scope of practice comes along. So, say I witnessed a car accident, I would assist as much as I could. But if someone came along saying they were a nurse, I'd back off and let them take over. The nurse would back off if a doctor happened upon the scene. In any case, whoever is assisting in an emergency--even a doctor--would back off as soon as EMS arrived. There may be no actual obligation to render aid but I can't think of anyone I know in the medical community who would not try. I don't even want to know anyone who would just happily eat away at their meal while a woman is passed out on the floor next to them.

I'm wondering why the fiancée didn't try to help 😆

Just because you are in the medical field, does not obligate you to help in these situations. Would it be nice kind thing to do? Absolutely, but you are not required to nor do you have a moral obligation to. This has to be the most annoying thing for medical professionals, having people constantly want you to intervene when you are just living your life.

If the ladies own family wasn't trying to help her why should a complete stranger. Besides, who listens too or appreciates when a stranger butts into their business. They would have no idea if he was qualified to help. I wouldn't trust some rando trying to butt in this situation

He might have bothered to stop eating long enough to call the ambulance.

Op was off duty. He's got no obligation to help anyone. Don't get involved with strangers. Just enjoy your meal cuz that's what your there for. Life is better when you do you. Drop your fiance and find a reasonable one.

someone with medical experience, listened as some said they weren't well, watched as they collapsed onto the floor & did nothing. deserves to be fired & never work in the field again.