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The Number Of “Lonely, Single Men” Is On The Rise Due To Women Choosing Healthier Relationships, And The Internet Finds It Funny
If we could peek into American homes right now, it wouldn’t take long for us to find someone who lives alone. And according to a recent article on Psychology Today, there’s a high chance that someone is a heterosexual male. As a couple and family psychologist Greg Matos explained in the column, the number of “lonely, single men” is on the rise due to women having higher standards.
In fact, the modern dating arena has left younger and middle-aged men more likely than women to be unpartnered, which wasn’t the case 30 years ago. And things may get worse. Matos addressed three trends that contribute to this difficulty to find a partner: the rising use of dating apps, increased dating standards, and men lacking key relationship skills. In short, some men need to find a way to step up, or they will continue gliding through their lives being single.
The article quickly sparked discussions online and caused a stir across social media channels. Some internet users applauded Matos’ findings and found them validating, while others jumped at the opportunity to share their outrage. Scroll down to read the article in full, as well as how people online reacted, and be sure to share your thoughts on the matter in the comments section below.
RELATED:
American psychologist Greg Matos recently wrote an article stating heterosexual men are lonelier than ever as they struggle to meet healthier relationship expectations
Image credits: christopher lemercier (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Natalie (not the actual photo)
Image credits: psychologytoday
Women weren’t as surprised as men by Matos’ findings. Many reacted by saying the article was validating what they have been expressing about the dating scene for years. After all, there’s a running trend that shows women would rather stay single than waste time on people who don’t deserve it. And it’s hardly surprising, especially considering research that has found that men tend to benefit more from heterosexual relationships than women. Married men tend to lead happier, healthier, and longer lives compared to bachelors. On the flip side, women are more likely to link the benefits of marriage to marital quality.
Recent studies also suggest that females can definitely live and even thrive without men. For example, unmarried and childfree women are the happiest subgroup in the UK. “We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that academic science and just say: if you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother,” Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics told the Independent.
So if men really want to make women’s time worthwhile, they need to address a “skills deficit” as women who are looking for partners to create a healthy relationship seek people who are “emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values”, as Matos explained.
The chances for men to find a match are low to begin with (considering that they make up a majority of all dating app users). Since women are raising standards and sticking to their boundaries more than they did before, there are way fewer opportunities for men to secure romantic connections.
Matos pointed out that one reason for men’s relationship skills gap is because society fails to teach young boys the importance of communication. This has resulted in growing numbers of unintentionally single men, as “emotional connection is the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love”. So unless straight men start changing their approach to dating and women, the issue will only get worse.
Shortly after the article, people started sharing their reactions surrounding the matter on TikTok
Image credits: legionofdoon
Image credits: legionofdoon
You can watch the full video right below
Other TikTokers jumped in on the topic too, here’s what they had to say
Brenttany Sharraine, a TikTok creator who shares mindset and self-improvement tips for women, also contributed to the discussion by sharing a video where she states that “the tables have turned.” According to her, women don’t seem as shocked by Matos’ article because they have expressed their concerns about the treatment of men towards them for decades.
“The reason why women aren’t surprised is because they are the ones in the front seat driving for change. Men have used women’s desire for love, affection and provision as a primal way to gain access to women while lacking the most important traits that were needed to sustain a long-term healthy relationship. Core values. Women would rather be single until the right guy for the job comes along,” Brenttany told Bored Panda.
Moreover, more women are setting healthy boundaries and no longer accept the superficial standards that men could get away with previously, she added. “Some will say it’s the rise of the matriarchy, I say it’s the healthiest form of natural selection. Women have healed themselves emotionally and mentally and they’ve taken accountability. They now have a ‘desire’ to find a partner, not a ‘need’ as it was 50 years ago.”
Men must step up their dating game if they want to find themselves in a healthy relationship, Brenttany told us. “Men, as much as they may not want to admit, are scientifically happier when they are paired romantically.”
“This change is not only good for women, but long-term, it’s good for men as well. Men will now be able to learn to connect on a deeper level, tap into their masculine energy and build healthier and meaningful relationships with not only women but the people around them,” Brenttany added.
Watch on TikTok
So it looks like the article didn’t sit well with some men. Some of them were downright outraged, arguing women are “too picky” and have “double standards”, and even sending hate mail to the couple’s psychologist himself. Matos later took to TikTok to offer a response to the angered men and ask them, “Why? When all I am doing is asking you to be the best version of yourself. That’s all. All I am inviting you to do is just be the best version of yourself.”
He continued: ‘If I as a leader am always seeking self-improvement, so why would I not look to my relationships, the people I care about the most, the people I say I love, and not ask myself, how can I love these people better, why would I not ask myself that? Unless I was afraid.”
“The leaders who I have come across as I’ve visited other countries … who are the most effective, are the ones that are skilled in human relationships, my friends,” Matos explained what message he wanted to convey with his article. “All of us reaching our fullest potential, knowing that there are resources out there, mental health care, that there are therapists out there trained in communication skills. Why would you not?”
Despite men lashing out after being called out for adverse behaviors, the psychologist has hope for men’s “transformation” and said there is some good news. A few of his suggestions on how men can lessen their chances of being single include seeking therapy to address their skills gap, self-reflection, and establishing new healthy romantic habits, starting from the first date and continuing forward.
What did you think of the article and the slew of reactions that followed? Be sure to share your thoughts on the matter, as well as your own dating and relationship experiences with us in the comments below, we’d love to hear them.
As the article spread across other social media platforms, people were eager to share their opinions
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What do you think ?
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
As usual, women have been saying it for years, but it took a man to repeat it for anyone to pay attention.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
The BoJack Horseman episode "BoJack the Feminist" put it very well. I couldn't find the exact quote but it was something like "the message of feminism just needs to be delivered in the right voice - a *man's* voice!" And Dianne wearily points out to the clueless BoJack that more people will listen to him than will ever read a single word she ever writes.
Glen Barratt 2 years ago (edited)
Men have been saying it for years too. This article by Dr. Matos presents nothing new. What absolutely NO one talks about is why there is not a significant rise in single women when there is in single men. I mean, does this mean that women are pursuing way more lesbian relationships or what? No one cares to address that. Everyone, and especially mainstream publications like Psychology Today are extremely quick to conclude that men need to do better.
Howaboutno 2 years ago
There IS a rise in the number of single women, but no one cares because a lot of women are voluntarily single, whereas the change in the men's side is filled with incels.
Asswipe 2 years ago
Incels are different than men that are involuntarily single. Incels are wannabe chads, the one's who are wanting to get some but can't. And you don't need to be in relationship to be a chad. There's no scientific evidence that men are involuntarily single or unhappy. There's some evidence that men are healthier in relationships as they lead more stable life and have more healthy habits. There's evidence that singles with satisfying sexual life are less keen to marry. So incels might be actually be unhappier.
Emma 2 years ago
If women are pursuing same sex relationships it's because they're either already gay themselves or are bisexual. Straight women aren't going after women obviously, they are just remaining single and happy about it.
Glen Barratt 2 years ago
Here is Dr. Matos's statement for those who seem to have lost the plot a bit: "Over the last 30 years, men have become a larger portion of that growing group of long-term single people." But he does not explain HOW women have not followed men in becoming more single (at least to the extent that men have). Dr. Matos says what we all know (that more people are single than in the past), then jumps to the conclusion that men need to do better while also making a plug for psychiatric help. He does not explain why women are less single than men and THAT would actually be interesting to understand.
Dolly_of TheCowboy 2 years ago (edited)
That would be interesting to see how much of that percentage comes from countries and cultures where female infanticide is a "turn a blind eye" practice. I recall a while back reading (may have been BP) about some families paying to have a corpse bride for their sons so they would "look married in the next life". I am not sure if that involved exhuming bodies or just a symbolic union but it does kind of point to the practice of only wanting sons (because they will look after mum and dad when old) and getting rid of girl babies disproportionately has had a serious, long-term, effect. In addition to said cultures raising self-centered, unpleasant people that no one wants to be with unless forced
Jessica butts 1 year ago
They aren't less single, they are just HAPPILY single while men are unhappily single.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
There's also the fact that Women's health outcomes lessen greatly if they're married and have kids. All their energies go into work for pay, housekeeping, and caring for husband and children without help from the partner. Who has time, energy, or money for a mammogram when your kids constantly need new clothing/shoes/etc. and your husband is bitching that he can't have a new gaming system that precise second? But that's ok~~they think that they can get another woman to care for the family if the original dies. Guess what? It's no longer the 19th Century, d!ckheads!!
Asswipe 2 years ago
Exciting way to jump to conclusions. Yes, there's evidence women with kids are unhealthier because they consume more calories than women without kids. Research shows also that women do statistically more choirs and take care of the children more. It would sound logical that it leads to unhappiness in the long run if it's not what you want. If you have a richardhead as a partner who makes unreasonable demands no matter if he's man or woman could be estimated to be a reason for unhappiness. There's evidence unhappiness can lead to health problems. So your conclusion sounds logical as one type of scenario but I'd presume it's not the only scenario.
Jessica butts 1 year ago
There is a rise in single women, it's just that they are more happy single than dating crappy dudes. The men are the ones complaining about being single
TubeScream 2 years ago
Exactly! The huge contributor to this is the fact that today we have a lot more young and middle age men then women in recent years due to increase in medical research and allowing more male babies to survive within the first year of birth and later. There have always been more baby boys then baby girls but survival of baby boys within first year of life was very low in the past. Just look at the statistics for each country. In age group 15-35 there is more men then women everywhere. What kind of researcher drawn a conclusion that we have this dating gap due to the fact that "men are not good enough". Where is data that mostly "low quality men are single" or however he want's to put it? Which methodology and scales were used to say that only men with lack of skills, emotionally unavailable are single... This is not the problem of the author but the whole PT board should be embarrassed for putting this out without looking into it first in my opinion.
Anna Nowak 2 years ago
Women feel less of a pressure to be in a relationship, they prefer to be single than to suffer in a bad marriage.
Caro Caro 2 years ago (edited)
This is so true. I think that women have more options now that they are better educated and therefor don't need a man to pay the bills. In the Netherlands the percentage of women in college and uni is higher than men. Good news..(edit neem = need.)
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Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
@Caro Caro, same in the US in many places, and some men are whining that htey're "victims" of discrimination. As my mom said when I was a kid, "You don't need a (man) to be a person". As for the idea... LOL... Women have *always worked outside the home* except for a very small well-off class of them. Unless on a farm, in which case, they did farm work! The idea that women were all meek little man-accessories is a distortion of the past at best, and hideous propaganda at worst.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
No, women were (are) not all little meek ... is true but many women of an older generation were sahm. My mum worked until marriage, had a few part time jobs when we were kids but that was like one day per week. I know many women my mothers age who have stayed at home and took care of house, kids, garden, husband, etc which is in my eyes a full time job without the pay ... (home and board is not a salary).
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
In the U.S., women are more likely to go to colleges and universities (and are more likely to succeed) than men, as well.
Jo L. 2 years ago (edited)
It's funny to me sometimes how people frame this as a bad thing. Fact is there are many blue collar jobs and skilled trades that pay very well, most of which women are less interested in. For those women that are interested in those types of careers, more power to them. But I feel like there's this culture that shames people who don't pursue some higher education, and it's really holding us back because of resentment towards women "taking up spaces" in universities. ETA: I met my husband when we were both attending a polytechnic and he was finishing his training to become a journeyman electrician. I've noticed for some reason electricians are often much more respected than other trades and I'm not really sure why that seems to be the case.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
Oh, I agree. I think that more people should look into trades. I think it's just a matter of what you want to do. For people who want to go to college, cool! For people who want to do trades, cool! I feel like the push to make everyone do college is well-intentioned, but ignores the fact that not everyone is the same. I was just pointing out that statistically, women are more likely to go to college and succeed than men.
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)
donna peluda- I find this hard to believe since Spain is one of the few West European countries where working/earning money has always been considered normal even for married women (as opposed to being a housewife, which has been the standard in other countries).
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
Edit: never mind, donna peluda is banned and will never answer to this. Oh well.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I got banned once for replying to someone saying all dogs are good bois that not all dogs are good boys and that dogs kill people every year, even weiner dogs have killed people. :( Dog people got me banned.
Rylee Evergreen🦋 2 years ago
Tim I know I shouldn't be laughing but I am totally LOLing at the reason you were downvoted. Crazyyyyy!!!!!! (personally, I agree PLEASE NO ONE FREAK OUT ;P)
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)
@Rylee The potato heretic deserved it!!!!!! / jk Really, from what I read I have the impression that everyone who's been banned remembers clearly which comment it was about, and it's always something super silly and harmless (myself included)!
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
I know, but I don't know if it's his first ban... the subsequent ones are longer and permanent, respectively.
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
Hey Caro Caro, I wasn't laughing about the downvotes, did it come across like that? If at all, in a frustrated/sarcastic way, because I do hate it. (And about your failed rain dance 🤣 sorry about the garden though) I wrote you an e-mail a few days ago btw, did you get it?
Kristal 2 years ago
Lol just got out of a long-term relationship because of the lack of "emotional connection skills" on his part. You can BET I will be highly selective once I decide to pursue a relationship again. In the meantime, I'm gonna live my best life earning a PhD.
Dominique 2 years ago
Same here. Zero communication skills, Emotionally unavailable and constantly infantilizing me. Those ones will be the first that don' t make it to the recall round in the future :D
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Alex S 2 years ago
We're not dating their mothers. Go to therapy and stop blaming other people for being a crappy partner.
ADHD McChick 2 years ago
Hey, whoa whoa whoa. I'm not saying I agree with Wolf. But calling someone trashy because they're autistic? Using a mental disorder/disability as an insult? Not cool, man. Not cool at all. Fúck you for that. Maybe that attitude is why YOU'RE single and lonely. Àsshole.
Nadia D 2 years ago (edited)
I dread the future if "being able to communicate and being emotionally available" are "high standards" and women "being incredibly picky" Was ready to read summit about women craving yachts and such c**p, but not that being an adequate human being is way too hight demand for a guy...
JJ 2 years ago
Though we should not forget that people not simply *are* this way but are made this way. Like, the reason for many men thinking they have to act like entitled narcissists is because they were made to believe that this is "manly" (by parents, society standards, media, ...) and that women are attracted by this. Being able to show emotions is still seen as weakness in many societies. I think that the awareness of this just started. There is still a long way to go.
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
They’re made to believe that being that way is acceptable and actually really cool by OTHER MEN. Not women. Not even gay men. Other heterosexual men. Like the 12 year old boy who likes a girl but doesn’t want to publicly admit it so says nasty and hurtful things to her when his guy friends, who don’t like girls yet, are around so they’ll think he’s cool. The standard bearers of the entitled, narcissistic, a*****e behavior of most men are those same groups of 12 year old boys, only physically—-but not mentally and emotionally—-older.
Nadia D 2 years ago
Yeah, was thinking about it too) The thing is, society which raised said narcissistic men didn't raise any emotionally open, supportive, self valuing etc women as well) Imo instead of being raised many of us were basically groomed and programmed to serve and sacrifice, and to have only and main value as a sex object or mother of someone's children. Thus in my days common wisdom for women were in a nutshell to become a good manipulator and cone artist, so those eager to be agressive, not able to communicate and so on males( possessing the biggest chunk of money and goods) would give her what she needs and not damage her or her kids (much). Yet, women seems to find their way to break the cycle and get to the way to healthier ways of living ) Men, I believe, totally capable of that too)))
Asswipe 2 years ago (edited)
I think using term narcissist should be decreased as it has nothing to do with this. It's a psychological disorder and lacking sufficient communication skills and being emotionally available isn't the same thing in general context. Many mental disorders are on the rise in modern society but let's not mix that with effects of peer pressure, pressure of society, cultural upbringing and whatnot. Besides, from my pov lack of communication skills doesn't affect just men while men get blamed the most. And the problem is in my opinion that we don't speak the same language and either are not willing to learn or we are just oblivious about it. We expect different things from our partners but necessarily do not see they express themself in differently while misstakenly think they aren't communicating. We also might be expecting things from each other but also them just to know what we want or bring it up in a negative way.
M 2 years ago
Well women today are generally financially independent, can fulfill their sexual needs themselves (often more efficiently than with a partner), are independent and can fulfill their social and emotional needs via family and friends. Having a partner is more of a nice to have than a need to have for most women so why would they settle for someone who would make their life worse? Doesn't help that most men expect their wives and girlfriends to be their mom, nanny, personal chef and cleaner on top of always being available for sex and in great shape while simultaneously holding a full time job.
Meredith K 1 year ago (edited)
I’m going to need you to go back to the 4th grade, which is apparently where you left off, and while you’re there look up Zenobia, Cleopatra, Lakshmibai the Rani of Jhansi, Joan of Arc, Margaret Thatcher, Queen Victoria, Empress Dowager Cixi, Maria Theresa of Austria, Hatshepsut, Catherine the Great, Empress Wu Zetian, Elizabeth I… when (if ever) you reach full emotional maturity, then we’ll consider letting you rejoin the conversation. Until then? Hush child, the adults are speaking.
PupperPanda 2 years ago
"Waaaaahh! Men are used to being a**eholes and hate that women are finally recognising that they don't need a man to be happy". There, fixed it.
Matthew Polley 2 years ago
PupperPanda had it right bud. I agree that there are unhealthy women out there but there is a disproportionate number of women who are victimized by the men that they're in relationships with. As with everything, nothing changes unless there is a massive change. Women have spent so long being victimized, they've had so many uprisings just to be treated as equals and the US in all its arrogance have taken a woman's right to choose away from her when it comes to babies. So... what exactly do you think women would do. It's taken them thousands of years to finally be able to take their power back and instead of just stepping up, guys like you just want to moan about it. You're part of the problem dude... maybe open your eyes and be a part of the solution instead. I love my wife and I would not be this happy if I didn't know how to treat her
Jacqueline Pie Francis 2 years ago
The whole “alpha male” concept is a fallacy anyway. Good for women for not putting up with bulls***
Matthew Polley 2 years ago
I'm with you. As a man I learned that alpha is basically synonymous with a-hole and/or bully
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Part of being “alpha” is strong leadership. Good communication skills at home and work are part of it. I couldn’t survive in my profession without those skills. Especially since I work with mostly middle aged women.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
Men need to teach their sons the lesson of Leaders are NOT BULLIES. They *protect* those who can't protect themselves; first and foremost with their communication skills. The guy who stated that it's the woman's fault if the kid can't communicate didn't factor in the kid's toxic male relatives, who are either fully~blown (they wish) incel or on the brink of being so.
Felix Grace 2 years ago
I think the title is a bit misleading. The article actually validates these women's concerns and standards, and this article should match that energy
Monday 2 years ago
Yeah title makes it seem like the internet was angry, but everyone is just agreeing and adding to the discussion like normal humans.
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Aria Whitaker 2 years ago (edited)
@Becky: Perhaps b/c the responses of quite a few of the men that are "angry about this" were LARGELY attacking the author, insulting women or making it a joke. Hardly any of them were actually disputing the point and arguing their sides like "normal humans" do. Go look at the thread. Not publishing insults to the author, calling him a f*g, cuck, bi*ch, and other horrible terms is not an error on BP's part. If those men had reacted respectfully and intelligently gave a rebuttal, I am sure it would have been included. Instead, most seem to be too busy proving the author 100% correct in his assessment and acting emotionally immature about it.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Those guys kinda proved the point. No one wants their toxicly"masculine" bull s**t.
butt soup 2 years ago
men who refuse to treat women with respect aren't normal humans & never will be unless they drastically change their outlook on life, whether they like it or not. sure, "othering" them won't help *them*, but treating them like their opinions on women are normal does even more harm to women than just hurting their feelings.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I dunno... that bit about too many options for our pretty little heads seemed odd.
Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)
It only feels like men have less options because this is the first time in history women believe that it's okay to be on their own and they aren't failures if they don't get married or have kids. That you aren't an old maid. And there are still a lot of women who can't quite get there. And some women still want relationships if the right guy comes along. But that's just it... we're good with being alone so we can afford to choose a higher quality of man. And by 'higher' I mean simply better than the scraps we've been given or had to take because we were desperate. I can't speak for all women, but in general we aren't asking for anything unreasonable. Men only think this is some new thing because we've never been in a position to be choosy before but we've always wanted it. And there are a lot of agendas out there still trying to stop this. If you haven't noticed, we're suddenly banning books. There are rights women have had for years suddenly being chipped away. People are actively trying to stop women from having choices that would require men to treat them equally. It's truly scary.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I’m 61, and hated it back in the seventies and eighties when I saw my bright and ambitious friends dumb themselves down when they got boyfriends, who were usually nothing more than f*****g cretins in comparison, just to make the guys feel better about themselves. F**k that. Society was busy smoothing their paths for them already, and making those of their girlfriends even harder. I always asked them why they didn’t insist their boyfriends raise themselves up to their girlfriends’ level instead of them lowering themselves to their boyfriends’ levels? Never got a satisfactory answer to that question. You can guess I didn’t date a lot in high school. However, as men started to evolve afterward, I never lacked for dates—-even though I was just as picky back then as women are now. I had my job, my home (no roommates), and total autonomy. It was heaven. I didn’t get married until the right man came along when I was 40, not even looking for a relationship, and actually actively planning for my eventual retirement and the rest of my single life. We’ve now been married 21 years, no kids, and are in the early days of starting and growing our own business together, which will keep us busy, but not backbreakingly busy, until we eventually decide to sell the business and fully retire. If we ever do. Staying in the game and building something of your own from the ground up keeps you young, so why stop and stagnate for a full THIRD of your life?
Robin OConnor 2 years ago
I too am in my 60's and I REFUSED to live how I was raised. Family was thrilled at my high scholastic scores because they would get me into the Uni's I would have best marital options, not that I could achieve on my own. Ruth Bader Ginsberg is my Hero!
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CorgiGirl 2 years ago
64 here. After at least 4 bad relationships ( never married, no kids) I am ever so thankful that I planned my own retirement ( even after one man nearly cleaned me out) and live a happy single life. I don't ever want another "boyfriend". Too much work, too much money and too much anger. Yay for being single. With a dog.
Iifa A. 2 years ago
I don't understand how come this is a new revelation to some. For decades women have been fighting for their rights, for thousands of years they have been less than second class citizens. Are we really surprised women choose better? After all we were raised by women who saw it first hand, and are giving their children life advice to choose better men, do not rush into marriage, don't get pregnant if man isn't suitable for fatherhood, do not have children you can't raise on your own. We were raised by women who had children and a husband but no respect, no fulfilled dreams and no means to escape. Here's to men who actually grew up seeing the horror mother's went through and are supportive and great partners in life. Whole generation is brought up were pressure is put on getting education, women used to not have full education. Times have changed, since we all earn our own money, we need better outcomes from our partners. Partners who celebrate us and themselves and have no insecurities
howlingzen11 2 years ago
And can we stop calling women "females"??? ESPECIALLY in the same sentence when you say "men".
howdylee 2 years ago
Soooo... women having been saying what they want for years and no one listened. Now that a man has written an article stating the same things, NOW it's accepted as plausible?!
Edward Willis 2 years ago
I think it's that the target audience here, those "lonely single men", in many cases don't care what it is that any women say. Now that a man's saying it, they're more likely to listen and think "huh, maybe there's something to this". In general, information coming from multiple sources is more likely to be trustworthy, though it is an issue that "coming from all women" doesn't count as "multiple sources", whereas "all women and one man" does. It's good that it's getting more attention now a man's said it, it's horrible that it didn't get more attention before that and shows just how far we have to go.
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Allan D 2 years ago
Nothing is changing. You just stumbled onto this post about it like I did. In two weeks it will be forgotten.
Edward Willis 2 years ago
This post was written; that's a change. Maybe it'll be forgotten in two weeks, but maybe someone will remember it again in two months, in two years, and then maybe it'll resurface, or maybe just help one person. It's not a big change, but not many changes are. It took my country over 40 years to go from "alright, gay but in private" to "gay marriage". Some of those changes were huge, but many were small things happening over the course of decades.
Bri Nicole 2 years ago
If you've dated recently, you'll realize how much better it is to stay single. No explanation needed.
Seedy Vine 2 years ago (edited)
After abortion rights were taken away in my country, I completely stopped dating men. They are just too high-risk for my health and safety. I don't have human rights if I get pregnant.
Yurie 2 years ago
I was raised in an abusive home and chose abusive men in my teens. After a teen pregnancy and an abusive marriage in my teens, I intentionally stayed single in my 20s, went to therapy, read a lot, reflected, learned and built a business. I have a lingusitics business specializing in Law, Finance and Medicine. I interpret a lot of court cases and therapy sessions and seen the worst, stalking, blackmailing, kidnapping, beating, attempted murder against women by their partners. Most murders against women are by boyfriends or husbands. My needs are changing as I'm turning 30 soon and I'm looking for someone to build on and needless to say I run like the wind at the sign of even a small red flag. Women deserve better.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
I love that the law is now so much more validating to a woman's financial rights at work and in the home. Her money is her's, not automatically the husband's. In the case of divorce, the assets are split with the legal assertion that a man doesn't automatically get access to all the monies, where before (despite the man's bitching about unfairness to *him*) the woman was screwed over and never received a fair share of the assets. We won't even go into child support and alimony.
Deborah B 2 years ago
Add in that men are not competing only with other men anymore - they're also competing against singlehood. Now that singlehood is an economically, socially and reproductively viable strategy, women don't feel the same pressure to enter or stay in unsatisfactory relationships. If you already have status, a career, live independently, have a circle of friends, and you can choose to be sexually active and/or a single mother without social exclusion, you look at a man and ask, "What does this man add to my happiness?" "Does this husband take on a fair share of emotional labour, housework, and parenting duties, or is he free-riding?" The equation has changed.
Hazel Beswick 2 years ago (edited)
In my experience its because they generally want to date women 20+ years younger than themselves and have seriously unrealistic expectations of a girlfriend.
Bananaramamama 2 years ago
I am a bit irked by how this all reads, the original article doesn't vilify high standards and actually identifies the failures of important individuals in a man's life setting a good example/men being well educated on an emotional level. However we can't let our feminist attitudes excuse us from being good partners, which involves compromise and understanding regardless. But also the ratio of the sexes in dating apps is really distorted. Whether it's a swipe right/left scenario or a women must message first concept...there are multiple factors that skew any legitimate study on relationships. Men and women tend to identify and estimate the value of a partner differently. Particularly when "swiping casually". Often insecure individuals have to pay to see "who liked them first" and then are more confident to reciprocate. It may be the more common way to meet people but a poor reflection reflection on dating in a legitimate sense
CL Rowan 2 years ago
Compromise and understanding to the one's we *choose* to have around us. We have been taught to 'settle' rather than search and hold out for the best partner. That time is now over.
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Mistiekim 2 years ago
This article fails to mention the high standards men have developed for women while using a dating app: How a woman looks. Physical attractiveness is first and then looking to see if personality traits match. Nothing wrong with that, but when you’re looking for a supermodel it’s probably not going to happen.
Redemption Happens 2 years ago
Exactly they whine that they’re lonely then whine that no woman is good enough. I can’t tell you how many incredibly unattractive men I know truly think that any woman who doesn’t look like a 20 year old pr0n star is ugly. It’s laughable.
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Cammy Cat 2 years ago
Women used to be told we "better start acting right! Don't want to end up alone!" Oh how the tables have turned! And it's only going to get worse for men if parents don't step up. I left my BF because before I moved in, he and jus kids were able to pick up after themselves and clean the house and make dinner. After I moved in, all those skills magically disappeared and somehow I was the problem by not being ok with it. Well, now he gets to learn to use those skills again
Steve D 11 months ago (edited)
Or emotionally damaged men from broken homes, or from painful breakups. Yes, we can get hurt too and become distrustful. If women don't like the kinds of men that approach them, maybe they could step up and break the ice once in awhile.
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Enlee Jones 2 years ago
Women are sick of being treated like trash by Incels, man babies, PUAs and nice guys who feel entitled to a girlfriend and sex, and now they’re whining that they’re oh so lonely because women won’t put up with it anymore?? Keep whining, guys. You get no sympathy from me. The only date you’re going to get is with your right hand.
Redemption Happens 2 years ago
Totally feeling that comment about men making life harder instead of better. I don’t want to be a grown man’s mommy. Just no.
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
"Men live better when partnered" usually translates as "men live better with a mother figure to do everything for them." So...tough luck.
Elio 2 years ago
Man-children are pretty much parasites who suck the lives out of their wives/girlfriends. It's not surprising that single, heterosexual women are happier overall.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Did they study lesbian couples much? One would think they'd be happiest. Man+woman = happy man, single woman=happy woman, so woman+woman would = two happy women, right? Two positives = a positive?
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I had an ex who began showing this type of parasitic behavior towards the end of our relationship (asking me to clean his apartment, do his dishes, etc.) then couldn't understand why I got irritated. Very clear as to why there was an "end" to that relationship.
Lea S. 2 years ago (edited)
Here's a sampling of some of the men I've come into contact with recently. A man a few years my senior (40 or so) who decided to hit on me by loudly insulting the size of my a*s. I work out, hard. I'm f****n' proud of my a*s. Another man who asked why I hadn't dated in a while and when I told him (talking about how I have a harder time with every day life when I date) and he responded with 'you realize that's YOU, not them right?' Another one who asked why I went to my BEST FRIENDS wedding alone and suggested it could only be because I was planning to f**k it up and run off with the groom. Another one asked what I was doing on a Sunday afternoon and I said, I'm having a glass of wine and prepping for my week (this includes meal prepping and craft prepping, I run a preschool). He responded by calling me an alcoholic.
Lea S. 2 years ago (edited)
Another guy told me that by going out on a Tuesday night with my girlfriends, I was doing my preschool class a disservice. He said this right after I got a major promotion at my job. The same man would come over and wake me up for a blowjob at three in the morning, even if I asked him not to. I'm 36. I have so many girlfriends my age who have been through one or two divorces or are currently stuck in a soul-sucking, hateful marriage. It won't happen to me.
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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
What kind of WTF bull$h!t is that? I hope you told him to literally go eff himself. And just for the record, turn about is fair play. Time to go wake 'em one morning with your legs wrapped around their head yelling "Eat it dammit! Eat till I say you're done!" Hmmmm...YMMV, but that actually doesn't sound like a bad way to be woken up...not bad at all.
Steve D 11 months ago
Why would you even let him in your house? Would you blow him? If so, then that's why he would show up. He didn't need his hand. Work on developing some healthy boundaries, and don't bend them for anybody. And forget dating apps, find a local group that does hobbies you enjoy and join it. Get to know someone before dating anyone.
Zenozenobee 2 years ago
And I bet they wonder why they are single and are not adressons themselves the " that's you, not them"
Juanjo 2 years ago
it is very sad what happened to you. I am really sorry for that. there are some people who don't really understand what an alcoholic is. there are people who don't understand that they cannot judge other people's decisions in life. and definitely, body must not be insulted. whether you have a very attractive body, nor you're on the unlucky unhealthy side. but, however, you also understand that these examples do not represent the 100% of men who addressed you in life, right? neither the 100% who reached you with the intention to have some kind of relationship. right?
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
The other part of this trend of lonely men is that most won’t have kids, so their brand will eventually die out, like the dinosaurs they are, and be replaced by the highly evolved men raised by their educated and successful single mothers, who will pick and choose GOOD male role models for them to emulate. There’s a wonderful generation of men like that coming up,. I look forward to welcoming them into a much better world.
lazypanda 2 years ago
so, a woman broke up with a terrible partner who didn't respect her, got full custody of the kids because otherwise the kids would be in danger, asked for child support so that the kids could, y'know, live, and then moved on with her life and married a guy who supports actually supports her? what is wrong with that?
CatWoman312 2 years ago
Women don’t want just a handsome face. If that’s all you got to offer you might as well say you have nothing to offer. Women have been bringing much more to the table as well as the table for a while now and we’re tired. We’re tired of being moms to manchildren who lack any emotional intellect or ability to take care of themselves beyond the basics (which some can’t even handle that, do you know how many times I’ve had to tell men to go to the doctor/dentist or grocery shop!?). I could rant for hours. I love my husband, but even him I have to side eye sometimes because he’ll make a sexist comment or I have to do something his mommy did that he should now do himself. Honestly I get the incline of lesbians lol
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Reading articles about dating and relationships makes me glad that I already found the person I want to spend my life with.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Same here, but i'm so worried about my daughter! She gave up before she was out of high-school. I don't want to be pushy, but i do want her to find someone to be happy with. I don't want her to be alone when her step dad and i die of old age.
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Nicole Sutula 2 years ago
She won’t be alone. Friends and family are a thing, and a wonderful one at that! You don’t need a spouse to not be lonely, especially in the age of the internet.
OffKeySinger 2 years ago
Playing the world's smallest violin for these men crying about being lonely because women have increasingly healthier standards.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago (edited)
"Many women are overwhelmed with the many options they have". Oooooh, no, honey, no. I was on dating apps. Yes, you get a million messages, but 99% of them are inappropriate and creepy. Sheer number does not equal that many options. Honestly, while I appreciate good communication and emotional connection, I feel like the bar is actually much lower than that, and guys still aren't meeting it. I would have been thrilled for even an actual attempt at a conversation before jumping into an inappropriate comment, *that's* how low the bar is.
Kristen O 2 years ago
But are you happier and more self fulfilled now than if you had felt the need to bring one of those incels home? There’s more choice now, and if the pickings are slim/below your standards, you can still live peacefully and in good health. Whereas men without partners aren’t as happy and don’t live as long. Men just don’t understand how much we can take them or leave them, I think.
Gwyn 2 years ago (edited)
Skill gap? What about the character gap? If you are just a bad communicator but a good person, you can learn, make it in a relationship if your partner is also a good person. But if you lack character, there is no mystery in why women don't want to date you.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Or the creepy horny cave man factor. Cave man + cellphone = random unwanted d**k pics.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 2 years ago
Lonely single men who can't find a date due to issues isn't a new thing. Pretty much every online dating site is vastly skewed to more guys (AshleyMadison revealed over 95%) because women quickly have a bad experience with sexist jerks and cancel the account. Everyday millions of men go to strip clubs and pay a woman to talk to them because they can't get a woman to acknowledge them otherwise. I feel empathy for people across the entire gender spectrum who are lonely because they have the self respect to expect to be treated well and cannot find someone willing to meet such a low standard of human decency. Being a jerk is an easily fixed choice. I feel as much compassion for them being lonely as I do someone complaining they are thirsty and won't drink store brand bottled water.
Polly Hart 2 years ago
I've dated a few horrible men. I'm now dating a lovely woman, and have never been happier. So that's two less women now in the dating pool 😂😂😂
Bill Allen 2 years ago
There’s a reason that my wife and I have been in a 99% drama free relationship with each other for the past 45 years. It’s because we both want it. We see that most problems are solvable without having to argue. Using hurtful language to each other is not acceptable.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I've noticed that dating apps give an artificial impression of large surplus of available people. But in reality the more attractive people are swamped with queries and hence don't have much time to interview each candidate properly. I've also heard from female friends that they typically have a few hundred suitors on the apps whereas e.g. myself maybe 1-2 per day. They tell me that most men are idiots holding fish without a shirt (putin style). Apparently gents this does NOT work. Apparently it puts women off you. So maybe ditch the dead fish thing.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
I don't know why men (and it is overwhelmingly men) feel that a hobby where they torture and kill wild animals is in any way attractive. If you need to hunt and fish to support yourself then I'm gonna have to pass, and if you don't need to then leave the wildlife alone!
Load More Replies... joop 2 years ago (edited)
I once went to an international dating site and saw that. Had to look twice. What is that? No way. Does he think women will think: Oh wow, this guy hunted a tiger, that's so cute and romantic. Lets gets married.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Eww! Well that’s a big fat oh hell no! Hunting tiger, that’s absolutely VILE.
J Sirkka Wirkki 2 years ago
I laugh so hard at the men who get cranky about this article and start talking about the lack of evidence, statistics, data, studies. Meanwhile ALL the women IMMEDIATELY know the article is accurate, because our whole lives we have suffered in myriad ways due to men's (not all men but the majority) selfishness, relationship laziness, sexual laziness/selfishness, arrested emotional development, and STUBBORN REFUSAL to learn and evolve and be a decent human being. But go ahead and stay cranky, boys. Keep denying reality and invalidating women because you don't like what they're saying. What? Take responsibility and make an effort?! Say it ain't so! Calm down. No one is forcing you. Feel free to stay immature, single, and lonely the rest of your life.
Vanja Vidovic 2 years ago
These are actually good news: those are men that shouldn't be in a relationship and shouldn't procreate. If there were no "arranged marriages", we would evolve to be better human beings centuries ago!
Danny Trejo 2 years ago
I feel the same as a man. had 2 horrible relationships were my first gf cheated on me and the second went full borderline on me for almost 8 years. we broke up like 150 times a year. i now live alone and in peace. i waste as little time and thoughts on women as is can.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Blimey. Living with someone who suffers from borderline is tough. You must be relieved.
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Demongrrrrl 2 years ago
I haven't been in a relationship in over 16 years and I don't miss it one bit. I'm happy to be single and child free. I miss having someone to talk to, but definitely don't want to share living space with someone. My last serious relationship ended with me spending a month in a psychiatric hospital because he was emotionally abusive and manipulative.
CorgiGirl 2 years ago
YES. " miss having someone to talk to" ... girl, what they talk about is sports, cars, strip clubs and golf. You're not missing anything at all. This from another girl who hasn't had a relationship in 14 yrs. I'm good thanks. And happy. If I wanna talk, I'll call a friend.
Lisa 2 years ago
It is kind of sad that men aren't taught this the way daughters are. We need to teach our children the same skills regardless of gender. Girls should be taught to fix things, boys should be taught to handle their emotions in a healthy way.
Y D 2 years ago
Church enrollment is also in freefall. Hard to find yourself an obedience little baby machine when she has literally any other option. Met some escaped Hasidim at a cleanup in Tomkins Square. Picking up used heroin needles and living in a shelter better than married life in a cult.
Andrzej Nikolaevich 2 years ago
I'm glad that the issue is being addressed. I hear my sister and cousins talk of the bad relationships they have been in, with bad men who do not truly know what it means to be in a relationship. I am glad that the article was published, so hopefully the crazy assholes will learn to properly be a male and a to understand about being in a healthy relationship and learn the proper skills. The article is a good thing because it gets out the word that women will not be tolerating the bad males in a relationship anymore, which will hopefully decrease the toxic, angry, Abusive men. I am glad i was grown up to be the way i am, rather than the males of the generation that don't know the proper emotional skills, however it is a sad thought to me that they did not get raised in a healthy family surrounding leading to these being unable to understand basic human standards, and i hope they will get the hint to learn the right skills so that less toxic and unsuccessful relationships occur.
J Sirkka Wirkki 2 years ago (edited)
I am psyched about women choosing BETTER FATHERS FOR THEIR CHILDREN and rejecting men who would be terrible fathers. If garbage humans cannot breed, this bodes well for the evolution of our species and the future of our world.
Ladytron 2 years ago
It's definitely time for a change. I think women are over the era of being expected to be "grateful" that a man gives them just any attention. Men are not in tune with that and therefore react with feeling that they are "picky". Having standards of someone emotionally available, compatible and with communication skills is not being picky. It's the bare minimum, otherwise why bother? That, and that he actually cares about her sexual needs (that have been overlooked for too long if he's otherwise a "good guy"). That combo is HARD to find among men. Almost the same odds of finding a unicorn.
El Dee 2 years ago
I feel that this is true for a certain section of men but that they would have been lonely before the advent of online dating. The neckbeards, the uber machos and those who send d**k pics instead of saying hello. These make up a LOT of the messages that get sent online. Needless to say they get ignored and women will talk to those men who actually TALK to them. It feels like this is older men who have failed to adapt to the modern world and that Gen Z and Milenials don't figure as much in this group..
Justin C 2 years ago
The reason so many men are lonely is because women are only going after a small selection of men. For example, on Tinder, only 5% of men recieve matches. And it's NOT because they're "emotionally available and communicative" - it's because they're tall, hot, and have money. All this nonsense about women "choosing healthier relationships" is just the usual "just be nice" gaslighting.
Daniel Brock 2 years ago
Happily married to a wonderful woman for 26 years. Every day I try my best to earn that. It's not hard, guys.
marianne eliza 2 years ago
I've told some guys (can't call them men) to improve themselves. Take dancing lessons. Take cooking classes. Public speaking. Learn how to make small talk. Notice I said nothing about physical improvement.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
And i bet those guys got cranky and insulted your appearance. (It's what i got in return for suggesting improvements...)
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
This whole article sounds like an advertisement to adopt a pet. "Adopt yourself a lonely man from the shelter today!"
Stacey Rae 2 years ago
First the men I've known in my life suck. However with the divorce rate at 46% almost as many men will say the same thing. Id like to know where these stats are from. Could another factor also be the huge over population of men in China due to the one child rule where countless females where murdered. According to stats the average human is a 33 year old Asian male. Don't get me wrong, men in general need to do better.
K Y 2 years ago
Nope, it's just men. Women who live alone are not lonely, we're thriving.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I was very lonely when i lived alone. Between that and almost 0 self-esteem i wound up marrying one of the awful guys. :( New hubby is a unicorn, so works out in the end. ^_^
Sean Sean 2 years ago
What concerns me is that the article, and many people posting ITT, assume that if a man is having trouble finding a date or partner it's because they are a horrible person. Relationships take work, and practice. You can't learn how to be in a relationship if you are given few, or no, opportunities to be in one.
joop 2 years ago
Yeah that's nonsense. I have been on dating sites when I felt lonely and there are some great guys, divorced, nothing the matter with them. I went on a date with a blind guy. His ex took the expensive stuff out of the house, because he was blind. He didn't sound like he was the problem. He said most women want a guy who fixes stuff in the house for them and he can't do that. It's often just better to stay single after a divorce for men and women. The young ones should be helped and taught to not fall for the wrong one. If you find a good partner when you're young, don't ignore red flag ships, you can stay happily married. That's the case for men and women. There are male narcissists and female narcissists, just avoid em all.
google glop 2 years ago (edited)
Girls and math. It's always an adventure. It's pretty simple, gals. For every 1 "lonely" guy, there's 1.1 single women, since you outlive us substantially and men are the vast majority of homicide victims, workplace fatalities, and suicides. So in essence you're doing a victory lap around your own lonely, single, jiggly butts. And I know you've been told since the day you were born your sh!t don't stink, but you were lied to. Men get real, real sick of your funky asses too. Every unmarried, childless man is a victory for the planet, not to mention a victory for common sense. You're just buying a house for somebody who spends 80% of her waking life talking sh!t about you to her friends, fellas-- a house you're getting kicked out of the second she gets bored.
Joseph Snedeker 2 years ago
Damn even as a gay man reading through this article, the amount of hate for men from womens posts really increase my suicidal and self harm ideations. Idk why I even try to exist if, no matter what I do, all men are always hated.
PandaWizzard21 2 years ago
Im sorry but this article is utter nonsense because a lot of modern men simply choose to be single not because they are horrible. Because according to this article all single people around the world are single because they are horrible, i mean i didnt know every woman thats single is automatically horrible and the same thing for guys but wow this rubbish article is just saying if you are single whether you are a man or woman you are immediately a bad person. People please.... What else did you expect from an online article written by someone who was very drunk that day, give me a break....
PandaWizzard21 2 years ago
While the article is true and understandable it applies to both sides as there are horrible men and horrible women, you are ignoring the fact that a lot of good men also suffered cheating or abusive women. Personally i blame both sides horrid men and horrid women that created this serious trust issue between both sides.
Mindful Naked 2 years ago
As usual, it's always the men's fault. It doesn't matter how emotionally available you are as a man, or how well you cater to a woman, she wants what she wants. She will go after what she wants, be it immediate physical attraction, stature, financial or all. There are plenty of men who are willing to go several extra miles for women, but many times those guys aren't the ones women are naturally attracted too. Women date up, not laterally or down. It's not rocket science.
Jan Sta 2 years ago
Despite "quality" of women isnt rising. Men and women are quite the same in this. Men have it harder, that is all. They are not such demanding and are willing to make compromise much more than women so that is why there are more women in relationship. Someone said that men should behave better. 99 % of men naturaly behave well maybe better than women.
Brandon Pyle 2 years ago
So I agree that it's great that women are raising their standards. What the article implies though is that because women have standards men are sh*t out of luck because ALL men are just pieces of sh*t. The article should read, "stupid a*****e men are lonely because women are tired of settling for stupid a*****e men and would rather just focus on being the best versions of themselves, trusting that as they become their best selves the right man will come along."
Black Dragon Fatalis 2 years ago
Men also want a healthy relationship but no seems to even talk about that
Curry on... 2 years ago
It hurts me to my heart to say that ALL of the most difficult periods of my life featured a man, because I really, really like men, but some of them just aren't nice people.
Karl 2 years ago
I know of some men that the study is referring to. I am displeased that it feels like all men are being represented solely by the app users and it is assumed that all women have all the skills and no other weakness/faults. The men I don't want to be lumped in with have additional faults/weaknesses. Hence why they are people I know and not friends. I know and understand why some men are single. I also know and understand why some women are single. Hope this is just a choice section of the study.
Dertien Vijfenvijftig 2 years ago
The issue here is that there is no connection between stronger mental health and being in a relationship. I have worked on my mental health all my life, feel incredibly happy with it and with myself. I've picked up many communication skills which people consider more of a "feminine side." This is NOT what women search in a man. Rather, I've seen them be impressed by immature attention seekers more than anything. I never really felt that much interest in dating, but the realization that it's all a big farce made me make up my mind: dating just isn't real, or genuine, or nearly as much about giving love as it should be. And if women don't mind being alone, why should men?
Valentin Coserea 2 years ago
Man i completely understand you. In my last attempt I was the one trying communicate, to find midlle ground, to bring romance and say nice things to make her feel good about herself because she seemed insecure and needed a lift up and i only wanted to make her feel good about herself since i considered she has to. In the end it only pushed her away and I was laid off slowly without even being told so, and with no regret from her. If you want to understand what this post is all about you can read The Rational man by Rollo Tomassi, but i suggest you do it with a grain of salt as his views can be a little extreme, which is never good, just like this article goes but on the other side. But a lot of the things he says seem to be valid. My advice just try to be the best you can, for yourself and no one else.
George Luis 1 year ago
I’m sorry, but this one sided perspective on why men are single wreaks of BS. Although there is some truth here and in the comments, there is so much being left out it’s a shame. Once again everything is being put on the Man, and the women are just perfect in all of it… Wreaks of BS. We need to start understanding each other, this is not a one way street toward solving this problem… It’s a 2 way
Gregory Hall 2 years ago
I don’t know but many men I know seem relaxed and happy at being single,,, it may be a British mindset,,,, younger generations are more single then ever before
Ray Arani 2 years ago
I'm just happy that this increases the dating pool for queer women! More bi and pan women realizing their queerness when they aren't constantly stuck with subpar men and pairing up with other women if they want something healthy! Oh, to bad so sad for men, more ladies to date for me!
Saw It 2 years ago
The pool of men over 40-50 who are decent humans, and will date a woman over 40-50 is about the size of the end of my pinky finger. I'm very active, in great shape and don't want someone who does nothing but sit on the couch all weekend. I listed my hobbies and hopes for someone who would share my active lifestyle on a dating app and got a 3 page, verbally abusive rant from an overweight, unkempt 55/yo (who looked like he hadn't bathed in a week in his pic) told me my standards were too high between calling me every nasty name in the book, and I would never find a man. Like that was a threat (rofl). Okay. I'm perfectly capable of doing all my hobbies on my own, eating out on my own, or simply being alone, even going on vacation alone--been doing it for years. Especially if you're all there is to offer. I quit trying to internet date at 50, and I'm perfectly content as I am.
Gozer LeGozerian 2 years ago
Men blaming women for their own bad behaviour since the dawn of... Well, men
Jessica butts 1 year ago (edited)
There are also more single women, the difference is that single women are happier and single men are more unhappy, so women would Rather be alone than date men who don't meet their standards.
Gregory Hall 2 years ago
I don’t know ,,, most men i know seem happy being single ,, I don’t know if it’s a British thing Lot of the younger generations are more single then ever before
Pinky Exus 2 years ago
Just as expected. They blame everything on men. Doesn't surprise me at all. It's a 50/50. It's not always men's fault, it's also this disgusting society that is not capable of teaching men how to communicate (just like the study said), fatherless men are a huge problem + bad experiences (alcoholic fathers, bad behaviour and so on), this also contributes to the bad behaviour of men, they are emotionally unavailable for many bad reasons, but one of them might be even worse: you know how women tell men to " MAN UP" when they get emotional or try to comfort your? Hahaha it happened multiple times right in front of my eyes, some men just prefer not to open up because of this, oh and that woman will use it for later, yuck! I really want women to consider these causes too and not ignore them and blame everything on men
millac 2 years ago
Read somewhere that women are now (essentially) wanting to date wife material, and that rang true for me. Women want someone who keeps up their appearance, does chores, cooks, and handles domestic tasks, is emotionally sensitive and aware of their wife's needs, and who will prioritize their wife--all the things a traditional wife is expected to encapsulate towards a husband. These women are career driven, self-supporting, have degrees, own assets, hold the power to be choosy, are breadwinners, etc. Many of the duties and roles men used to hold. So it makes sense that they need and want someone to fill the 'wife' role for them, instead of someone who would be a second, competing, 'husband' in the same relationship.
google glop 2 years ago
Girls and math. It's always an adventure. It's pretty simple, gals. For every 1 "lonely" guy, there's 1.1 single women, since you outlive us substantially and men are the vast majority of homicide victims, workplace fatalities, and suicides. So in essence you're doing a victory lap around your own lonely, jiggly asses. And I know you've been told your s**t doesn't stink since the day you were born, but you were lied to. Men get real sick of your funky asses too.
Snudge 2 years ago
From an outsider perspective (asa gay man) I have noticed my girl friends standards are completely unrealistic, I think the media tells them to not settle for anything less than perfection, which is completely unrealistic. Ofcourse many men need to work on their emotional maturity but women have to be reminded than men are just flawed humans like them, women tend to forget that they aren’t easy to be with either.
Dahita 2 years ago
Your feminist tainted article is hilarious. Single ladies out there became more demanding because of medias hammering them with "empowerment" ideals and because of dating apps that are over crowded with single guys on the hunt. It creates an imbalance in two ways: 1- Single woman shoot for positions out of their league and end up alone at 50 with a cat for a friend 2- Guys become happier being on their own with a couple of flirts a month for hygiene and loads of money for comfort You have obviously never been to a dating meet-up for people over 40. The few women you find there are unimpressive to say the least, and still behave like they are the queen of England. Better to be single than suffer this grief.
Asswipe 2 years ago (edited)
Cool clickbait story but I respectfully disagree. I'd suggest this guy actually does some real research instead of social media. Dating apps are hardly comprehensive depiction of the whole population of the world or even men and what I've read about dating apps most men are there to hook up which makes it less desirable to use them for women who actually want to be in a relationships. Besides, times just have changed. The long term relationships have lost their status for women too. In fantasies people may want long term relationships but are not able to work for their relationship or tolerate another human being enough to be in one and first of all choose the right partners.
leah 2 years ago
I didn't date much before meeting my husband at the age of 32 and we married within 9 months. We met in June, were engaged by our birthdays in September, and married that next April. We had our first daughter Sadie just before we turned 40 and Rosie was born when we were 42. I didn't really need or want a man until him and I'm really glad I waited because we were both where we wanted to be in life before getting married and having kids. Best decision of my life was waiting.
TubeScream 2 years ago
This is represented to the public in the really really really bad way just to get some media attention. That article in Psychology Today doesn't say anything at all. First of all everywhere in the world there is more baby boys then baby girls born. That's natural since male babies are more likely to die in the first age of life. First of all there is more man then women EVERYWHERE in the age group 15-35. Everyone can look at the statistics. What changed is that we are able to save more baby boys in infant period than we used to 30year ago. This leaves us with even more men in that age group that they are mentioning. We will continue to have more and more single and middle age man ANYWAY. SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THERE IS MUCH MORE MEN THEN WOMEN IN THAT AGE GROUP!!! Not because all men need to do better. Yes some men need to and also some women need to. Saying that we will end up with more paired men if "they get better" is a simple toxic lie, has nothing to do with research.
Sarah R. 2 years ago
If i look into the men in my surrounding who are single, they are either socialy awkward, obese or otherwise unhealthy or unhygenic or living the "iam a white man jerk* on a high standard. My female coworkers complain about theire husbands a lot, like how they are not even able to fetch the child from kindergarden AND make them lunch, because the mother has the longer shift that day, its a high risk, that the child has to stay longer in daycare or gets fastfood (again). Iam a lesbian (and very glad i dont have to date men) and my wife works with me so our female coworkers envy us a lot how we work together as a real team and consider the other ones schedules and needs always and act accordingly, because its the right thing to.do in a healthy marriage, to help each other out. (Sry for typos, iam not a natural speaker)
Marie Edison 2 years ago
Reading that article about men being lonely is hurtful to me as a woman but it didn't have to be this way. After seeing several Men YouTube video and podcast creators in the age range of 30 to 55 creating content stating how today's women aren't worth it, we're too old at 30, have No Hope for love if someone is 40 or a single mom, No sex No dates, screw any morals you have, your career drive makes you masculine, you won't get a "high value man" (whoever he is) because your unworthy and every negative degrading word you can hear you can't BLAME WOMEN for eventually putting their foot down, doing them and feeling UNBOTHERED by men feeling lonely. Women need Men and Men need US but until Men STOP ACTING like we aren't needed beyond sex and looks women will continue to build their empires alone. We don't want to do this alone and don't mind building with a loving partner, but why invite drama just to have a man IF he is still emotionally unavailable and thinks your not good enough anyways?
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
As women become more empowered and inspiring to other women, and kinder to them as well, our standards rise and men have to raise their bar for a relationship becoming permanent. Marriage is not the be all end all. No one likes to be treated like dog doo doo, or belittled, smacked down or abused in any way. Partners should lift you up, support your dreams and communicate well. Parenting is a two or three person job and sometimes more. Village? Heck yes! Picky women are happier and have found freedom in themselves and learning that to love yourself and be a strong, happy woman, sometimes means, no man, til you meet the right one! Women are on the move and the way to go, is UP! ::))
Karen Lyon 2 years ago
I don't think it's just middle-aged men, either. I'm in my 60's, and I am really not interested in doing the dating thing unless the man is worth it. I dated a man for a year and half, several years ago. It turned out he lost interest in me about 8 months before we split, but didn't come clean about it so that we could at least still be friends and hang out on occasion. Instead, it was not a smooth ending, because I realized he wanted me around to keep him from being lonely. There's another man I know, much older than I am, who has the same agenda, plays a lot of silly games, as if we were in high school (and that particular man is in his 70's!) To say I am quite fine with being perpetually single is an understatement.
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
Been married 30 odd years. Put up with a lot of s**t, but that went both ways. I'm probably part of the last generation to compromise more than my husband - but if I manage to outlive him, I don't think I will ever date again.
Dan Orozco 2 years ago
Here's the thing too, not all of those men are horrid criminals. Some can be decent people who simply have poor social skills. Or in my case, I live in Japan and I can never find a girlfriend here, but I hvae a good career here and I am sure that had I moved to say, Europe, I just would have a harder time finding a job. So here I am in Japan, alone.
Mary Leverett 2 years ago
Helen Reddy (Rest in Peace), had a GREAT song, lyrics that stay with me "No one bending over my shoulder/Nobody breathing in my ear" - Peaceful Here. Barbra Streisand is "Lullaby for Myself" is another, personally empowering song.
J. Brelner 2 years ago
I find the opposite to be true. I'm living my best life now -- a single man. I have a clean, orderly home, money in the bank and low stress. Frankly, I don't plan on ever being in a relationship with a woman again and I've never been happier.
Janelle Collard 2 years ago
If you live in your mom's basement/by yourself, NEVER interact with people/women IRL and have ZERO social skills - yes, you WILL be single for your entire life.
Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
I'm 73. Men have not changed appreciably since I was young. It's just that women are not putting up with any shenanigans. Lol
Kevin Hobbs 2 years ago
What a joke, women hurt men just as much as men hurt women. More than once I have seen women pick because of looks and money. They don't care about emotions or shared needs. I as a guy have found I am more happier not trying to find that special someone now. Start looking in the right place and you will find what and who you need.
Rumple Schleppskin 2 years ago
I have no complaints about this, as no one should. Baby steps I guess, i feel like we should have been here awhile ago.. .. i feel like my market value goes up when people are looking for quality. ... Everyone should raise their standards, and not based on physical appearance. Be cause that never stands the test of time.
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
When online dating first became available I learned that just knowing the difference between your and you're, or they're, there, and their, as well as being able to construct a cohesive sentence and being generally more interested it what the women were like outside the boudoir (and what they liked inside it), gave me a _huge_ advantage over many of the other men on there.
Burgermeister 2 years ago
I thought it was ironic that one post said single, childless women were happiest followed immediately by another who said she was so sad because she decided to stay single due to past abuse (thereby giving up on finding a "good" guy.)
Mary Ricketts 2 years ago
Boys are still largely socialized by women, their moms or sitters or daycare teachers. Why by now are they not being raised more like girls? This has been going on since the 1960s and is what needs to change, so women who are dating don’t have to become mommies to adult men.
kaiser soze 2 years ago
Kill the women who refuse to cooperate, pair the rest off with single men. Problem solved!
kaiser soze 2 years ago
Kill the single women who refuse to cooperate, pair the rest off with men. Problem solved.
Amber Gray 2 years ago
Is anyone gonna help them learn to be better or how to be better or is society going to keep shoving the same bs down their throats and telling them to suck it up. Also are they allowed to have the same standards women are told to have or is society still going to tell them they aren't allowed to have standards and just take what they can get why they suck up all emotional stuff and pretend all is well.
Andrew Bridge 2 years ago
Can't have a lack of communication problem if no-one communicates. I guess I'm just ugly though
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
What matters is how kind hearted you are, how good you are at making a woman laugh, how trust worthy you are, and how non-judgmental you are. It's hard to find good people since the shallow judgemental ones are such frikkin loudmouths, but they are out there in all genders. Of course, guys screw themselves over by going after the "hot girls" who tend to be narcissistic and shallow, and used to guys throwing themselves at them. Guys get upset if one suggests looking for a girl with a heart of gold but a bit ugly. (Why is "nice personality" code for ugly?) All humans look alike to be honest. My hubby thought he was ugly and i warned him before we met that i look like a hippopotamus, but we love eachother, make eachother laugh almost every day, and we trust eachother and earn eachother's trust. That's what you gotta look for to be happy. It's damn hard to find though!
Mark Faby 2 years ago
The casual sexism against men - the 'women good, men bad' attitude used so often in these posts is rude, biased and exaggerated. Every man who reads these has his own example(s) of a woman that pulled c**p on him and did it without a second thought. You may not care to have it pointed out but it's true. ALL men and women can be jerks given the right circumstances and to constantly act like it's only men is childish and sexist.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Go make a fake attractive female dating profile on any site, count the creepy b******t messages and d**k picks you get in a week then tell us again how you poor poor boys are sooooo misjudged...
Load More Replies... Juanjo 2 years ago
Alicia, I think, you're misunderstanding his comment. nobody said there aren't bad men. of course are. and lots of them. but it doesn't mean that all men are bad, and for sure doesn't give a woman to treat badly other men who did nothing wrong, just because some woman was previously mistreated by another man. and that is exactly what is happening here. biased comments and results that do not show the full reality.
Chris S 2 years ago
That's what so many people miss. Some women have fallen into the "they did it to us we'll do it to them" mentality. It's f*cked up when men treat women wrong and it's f*cked up when women treat men wrong. But unfortunately so many just don't see this and are blinded by rage. As a dude it's like no matter what you do you will always be wrong. Men are you nervous around women and find it hard to express feelings towards them? Well loser just change your entire life over night, but you'll still be a loser. Women are tiered of men just wanting you for your body? Well all you have to do is basically become their slave. These are just two examples of how f*cked women and men can be towards each other. Women think it's a "man bad woman good" thing, while men think it's a "woman bad man good" thing.
Asswipe 2 years ago
1. It's better to be single because most people can't handle that the other person there isn't their puppet that can be exploited how ever they want and won't act according their every whim 2. It's good for this planet that most of the people are too selfish to be in a relationship. The sooner people realize that their demands are too high to fill and stay single thinking the other gender is bad in every way, the less people there will be. And single people have lower life expectancy
Nick Siebenmorgen 2 years ago
It sounds like y'all want to date women. Men are not the same. Men communicate through action not words. Men don't feel the need to analyze unnecessary meaningless noise. If you can't respect these differences and appreciate men for what they are stay single or date women.
Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
I like this article. It's so true! My daughter is 30 and she's this close to giving up for good. "Why aren't you dating?" "Because men."
Craig Reynolds 2 years ago
I think it's all in how a person was raised (parented). If you're a man whose mom did everything for you, you are probably going to look for that in a woman and you will not likely find that. If you are a woman whose dad treated you like a princess, doting and catering to your every want that told you to accept nothing less in a BF/husband, the odds are high you are staying single because you are what most men consider high maintenance. You and the equally spoilt mamma's boy should avoid each other because you will never make it work unless one of you becomes wealthy and can throw money at everything.
K Y 2 years ago
Interesting how, in both situations, it's the woman's fault. That's why you're alone.
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PaxScientia 2 years ago
People don't go on dating apps to find a healthy relationship. If there are fewer women on dating apps, that means they're less interested in meaningless hookups than they used to be. If you want a relationship, you need to get out and meet people. It's unfortunate that this "study" took this very obvious conclusion and turned it into an opportunity to c**p on men generally instead of saying "trends are changing and if men want to meet women they should put down the phone and go do something."
Tim 2 years ago
This article has it right that men are increasingly single but the reasons aren't backed by the behavioral data from women. "good beta male communicator" is NOT the reason women aren't choosing those lonely men. It's looks and money. Those are the driving forces for.women picking and keeping men in a relationship. Men are increasingly more poor and unhealthy/overweight. That's why. The data doesn't lie. Look up red pill and black pill dating. Those pro-male resources cite actual DATA and show it's women, not men who are driving men into loneliness based on shallow desires.
Curry on... 2 years ago
Poverty sucks and being slovenly is not sexy. Be fair, there are guys out there living in their parents' basement, who want women who earn a good income and are a 10 on the beauty scale. Unrealistic expectations benefit neither sex, but having no standards is a recipe for failure.
Marcus Aurelius 2 years ago
Of course this goes viral because the survey provides no source data or peer review. This is junk. Only an opinion backed up by nothing. The throngs of miseducated internet ne'er-do-wells eat it up. This isn't science. This is an socio-political agenda looking for clicks for validation.
Poke Rambler 2 years ago
Imagine a psychologist recommending folks get therapy to improve their life. Also think about this "math". If more men are single, I guess all the ladies just started to switch to women? Nah they're single and lonely too.
Ladytron 2 years ago
Single yes lonely no. 1. In general single women have more friends that can fill their social and emotional needs. 2. Vibrators often work better to take care of their sexual needs vs having sex with a man. 3. more women today choose to stay childfree. SO. There isn't the same loneliness to being single.
Load More Replies... Curry on... 2 years ago
There are lonely women out here, even ones who can fill up their days with friends and activities.
Ed 2 years ago
Assumptions, HUGE sweeping generalizations, and misandry. Men and women are existing and progressing within the same society. It's easy to convince yourself that men simply need to rise up to the lofty standards of the more advanced, superior woman, but it's just not very intelligent or productive.
Duke Sparrow 2 years ago
Wow, I don't know what all these women have been encountering in men, but my own experience is the exact opposite of the article. Most women are far more trouble than they're worth. I often times end up being the adult... or more like the dad honestly, in relationships because women lack basic life skills and don't know how to handle business on their own
Chris S 2 years ago
And here we are once again stuck in this never ending cycle. Let's just start at high school, girls and dudes don't care about personality, communication or longevity, just looks and how quickly they can lose their virginity. Around college there is a great divide, men and women that grow up to actually understand what a healthy relationship is, and then those that are stuck to the "sex is everything" method. This is where we're screwed as a society, that half that don't grow out of the high school mentality of "sex = adult" usually are the loudest group and produce statements like "men are lonely because women are raising standards" or "all men are insensitive women beaters". Women try to find happy healthy relationships and they are seen as harsh, unreasonable and judgy. Men try to find happy healthy relationships and they are seen as harsh, unreasonable and judgy. We've been stuck in this horrible cycle for 3-4 generations now and it's time everyone act like civilized creatures.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
If they are harsh, unreasonable, and judgy, they aren't looking for a healthy relationship. They are looking to be the dictator of the couple or a small family. That's the whole problem. They aren't happy till the woman serves them like a slave with no opposing opinions, and socially, the man being in control and the woman being second class was seen as healthy. Society is slow learning and doesn't like change, sadly. Equality is slowly balancing though.
Eric Garcia 2 years ago
Seems like the harpies celebrating the good news make it sound like ALL single men are misogynist abusers.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Maybe instead of meeting women in places people go to get laid you should search less s**t-infested areas? I mean, you can't seriously judge all women on the earth by "girls gone wild" settings. Gotta admit though, having a cranky judgemental cynic take a vow of celibacy doesn't sound like a huge loss.
Load More Replies... Juanjo 2 years ago
again? seriously? is this all you have? you must be a sex-master. everyone is a virgin except you. and somehow, the amount of sex you have, gives you a better knowledge of life, and the right to say what is right and wrong in life. please teach me. please be my master. please marry me!!!!
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
We don't have to have sex with any one you incel. Men with that mentality ARE the problem! If men are emotionaly available, kind hearted, trust worthy, and enjoyable company (aka, we click together) we will WANT sex. You can take a long walk off a short peir if you think any one HAS to have sex with you. Jeezus fing christ! What the hell is wrong with you?
Load More Replies... Ladytron 2 years ago
You miss the point don't you? The point is not to act the "nice guy"-act and be rewarded with sex. The point is wanting a compatible life partner with who you can share life and have true intimacy with. It isn't supposed to be a sacrifice to get what you want. It is to create a dynamic relationship that both of you can be happy and evolve in. You can't be a life partner if you lack communication and emotional skills. It's the basics. And the whole "women don't want sex"... sorry to say but they do (in general just as much as men as long as she can get pleasure from it too). I guess that's not with you if that's your experience.
K Y 2 years ago
You sound like a virgin and I'm sure all the women in your life hate you.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
It does sound like he's trying to cope and compensate, doesn't it?
Andrzej Nikolaevich 2 years ago
We are humans, not animals, shut up your b******t alphas and betas like we are all dogs
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LoudMansLover 2 years ago
She just spelled "adore" wrong, that's all. And we kind of should all be with partners that adore us. My husband and I still adore each other after all our years. :)
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Lee 2 years ago
REWARD???? Dude, first women are not prizes, they are people looking for a relationship and "what's in it for them" save a good partner. If you're looking a woman up and down and give her place medals in your mind the recommendation for therapy before a relationship is s good one for you.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Wow. Bitter, judgemental, and cynical? I bet you get allll the girls /coughrunningandscreamingtogetaway/cough
Faith Love-robertson 2 years ago
Just looked at the data for male/female statistics and while there is a small difference in numbers for men to women in a very narrow age grouping - for the most part the numbers are fairly equal for men and women until later in life when numbers for women outnumber men.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Your account name literally has a social disease in it, so I think it’s more the women keeping YOU far away from them.
Load More Replies... Say What 2 years ago
Basic respect and division of work are insane standards? The fact that you can't do what you expect women to do is a you problem. Mood swings? Sounds like you force her to nag you to do what you should be doing without being told. My guess is you are the cause of the drama.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
The blatant misandry of Boredpanda means that your comment has no chance of being read sympathetically. If you were posting this as a woman about men then you'd get nothing but praise.
Say What 2 years ago
There was no misandry in the article. You can't play that card every time you read something you don't want to hear.
butt soup 2 years ago
although olivier's comment is nasty, becky has a point. look at the screenshots in the article again. a good handful say that they're sick of men & don't want anything to do with them anymore. a woman saying she never wants to interact with men because of personal experiences is met with support & understanding, but a man saying he never wants to interact with women because of personal experiences will be insulted & accused of misogyny. there ARE double standards, whether you want to acknowledge them or not. in my opinion, neither of these situations should be normalized; you don't need to date anyone if you don't want to, but if you find yourself resenting half the population, you need therapy. not encouragement to keep up the hatred, or insults for daring to feel the way you feel, but therapy to find a way to work past those negative emotions. but back on topic: if olivier's comment is misogynist, aren't the man-hating comments misandrist? the double standards aren't healthy.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
@Say What. Do you even bother to read a comment before responding to it? I didn't mention misandry in the article at all. If Oliver had been posting the *exact* same sentiments as 'Olivia' then there would be zero downvotes on it. Instead he will now be banned from commenting. How is this not misandry?
Vanja Vidovic 2 years ago
Dear boy, the article was written by a man, American psychologist Greg Matos.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
He was probably too busy trying to justify toxic masculinity to read something like the author's name. XD
JB 2 years ago
I’m confused. In what way is good communication (which is a two-way street), emotional availability on both sides, and sharing common values detrimental to the man’s experience of a relationship?
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I suspect it makes them feel vulnerable? Big stronk man no like feel vulnr-able! Meanwhile the evolved ones are mostly in relationships and too content to get involved in squabbles like these or just too often quiet?
Iifa A. 2 years ago
So what I hear here is that you definitely have a type you go for. Wow. Can you not see it yourself? If all the dates you went out with asked about money, where you life, earn then you either are attracted to those type of people or you choose by the looks not by the brains. I have a friend who is hitting 40, he is a typical nice guy and he also doesn't get why he isn't in a relationship. Well I have told him he isn't a catch either, his money means nothing to a woman who is working, his inability to understand that he cannot dictate woman's clothes, style, food, work and outings. He thinks woman is there to serve his needs. So maybe if you looking for a partner look for someone who is similar to you, but if you're not willing to serve and spend money, then don't expect this from women. Who goes on a first date to a hotel? Prostitute? A man who wants sex before date? It seems you looking for someone with low standards, willing to spread for.you and disappear when you're done.
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Donnas back 2 years ago
Comment was to long so it got truncated read comect below first Alcohol and drugs. I enjoy a drink like anyone else, but I would like to have a GF without addictions or substance abuse. My first wife went that way, and it was heart breaking for me to see her slowing turn in to someone I couldn’t love anymore. You are correct girls you meet online and want you to pay for an expensive hotel are hookers. They get there cut from the hotel
Donnas back 2 years ago
Hi I'm back I got banned thanks to the downvotes :-) I’ll break down my reasoning. Must have a car, where I live you need a car, I have a bashed up ford focus 2011 with 340.000 on the clock I bought second had and a motor bike I bought in 2005, I love bikes. Must Have a Job. Because I have one and that’s how I survive. I the same way Women in general do not like no good bums and wouldn’t put up with a slob siting around all day nor do I. I don’t care what kind of job, just something so she is independent. Own living space, this goes with having a job and being able to look after yourself. If things go well after while we can move in together if it suits us. Would you date a guy that after two weeks is practically living with you English & Spanish. I live in Spain and a lot of my friends are Spanish and English It makes sensa that they wouldn’t like to have a GF get excluded because e of a language barrier. It is very difficult to be socialising and have to translate everything.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Probably because they’re young and stroke his…ego…so he falls for their lies. Hook, line, and sinker. And gets played every damn time. So yeah, if he looked for someone more appropriate for him, age-wise, appearance-wise, education-wise, income-wise, experience-wise, etc, he might find someone to spend what’s left of his life with. The “couple of single GF” he says he goes out with are probably paid by the service, and he’s lying when he says “sex is of [sic] the table”. It’s prepaid when he books the “dates”, because his CC # is stored on his account and is automatically charged.
Donnas back 2 years ago
You jump to conclusions fast!! One we worked together the end of the 90s at the time she came out as gay and lost her family and friends. At the time I had just broke up with my wife that had turned in to a cocaine/alcoholic addict. We have stayed close even over the years and still get together, her family is OK with her now. The other GF, lets call her Mary. we met walking the dogs on the beach about 8 years ago. Mary was in an abusive relationship for most of her life and just broken up when we met. It’s a long story but we help each other out emotionally and still talk a lot. She is in treatment and probably will be for a long time and does not trust men when it comes to sex, I know because we have talk about it. She probably will never trust anyone to be intimate. Now her kids have left for uni she is feeling down again so we met up when we can and just chat or go to some jazz or blues in the local bars.
Iifa A. 2 years ago
When you yourself have nothing to offer then it is unreasonable to expect another person of different position to look at you. I would never dream of going for successful rich man, as I am not okay with my partner spending time in corporate job, or away from family. Same as I wouldn't go for a man who is a doctor working 80+ hours a week or army man. These type of people need people who support their choices. I like my life simple, so I went for someone who shared same values. You can't go for someone who is highly educated, climbing heavily career ladder, rich and successful if you yourself don't have same lifestyle. Strong relationships are built on shared values and support not on money, looks, body or wallet weight. And it doesn't matter woman or man, as both need to pull their part. I wasn't my man's type, I was chubby and short, if id gone for looks I would be single, but he made me laugh and we clicked, we moved in few days after meeting and are onto year 14 soon.
Tracy 2 years ago
From this comment alone, I can tell you're not the nice guy you say you are.
Load More Replies... Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
As usual, women have been saying it for years, but it took a man to repeat it for anyone to pay attention.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
The BoJack Horseman episode "BoJack the Feminist" put it very well. I couldn't find the exact quote but it was something like "the message of feminism just needs to be delivered in the right voice - a *man's* voice!" And Dianne wearily points out to the clueless BoJack that more people will listen to him than will ever read a single word she ever writes.
Glen Barratt 2 years ago (edited)
Men have been saying it for years too. This article by Dr. Matos presents nothing new. What absolutely NO one talks about is why there is not a significant rise in single women when there is in single men. I mean, does this mean that women are pursuing way more lesbian relationships or what? No one cares to address that. Everyone, and especially mainstream publications like Psychology Today are extremely quick to conclude that men need to do better.
Howaboutno 2 years ago
There IS a rise in the number of single women, but no one cares because a lot of women are voluntarily single, whereas the change in the men's side is filled with incels.
Asswipe 2 years ago
Incels are different than men that are involuntarily single. Incels are wannabe chads, the one's who are wanting to get some but can't. And you don't need to be in relationship to be a chad. There's no scientific evidence that men are involuntarily single or unhappy. There's some evidence that men are healthier in relationships as they lead more stable life and have more healthy habits. There's evidence that singles with satisfying sexual life are less keen to marry. So incels might be actually be unhappier.
Emma 2 years ago
If women are pursuing same sex relationships it's because they're either already gay themselves or are bisexual. Straight women aren't going after women obviously, they are just remaining single and happy about it.
Glen Barratt 2 years ago
Here is Dr. Matos's statement for those who seem to have lost the plot a bit: "Over the last 30 years, men have become a larger portion of that growing group of long-term single people." But he does not explain HOW women have not followed men in becoming more single (at least to the extent that men have). Dr. Matos says what we all know (that more people are single than in the past), then jumps to the conclusion that men need to do better while also making a plug for psychiatric help. He does not explain why women are less single than men and THAT would actually be interesting to understand.
Dolly_of TheCowboy 2 years ago (edited)
That would be interesting to see how much of that percentage comes from countries and cultures where female infanticide is a "turn a blind eye" practice. I recall a while back reading (may have been BP) about some families paying to have a corpse bride for their sons so they would "look married in the next life". I am not sure if that involved exhuming bodies or just a symbolic union but it does kind of point to the practice of only wanting sons (because they will look after mum and dad when old) and getting rid of girl babies disproportionately has had a serious, long-term, effect. In addition to said cultures raising self-centered, unpleasant people that no one wants to be with unless forced
Jessica butts 1 year ago
They aren't less single, they are just HAPPILY single while men are unhappily single.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
There's also the fact that Women's health outcomes lessen greatly if they're married and have kids. All their energies go into work for pay, housekeeping, and caring for husband and children without help from the partner. Who has time, energy, or money for a mammogram when your kids constantly need new clothing/shoes/etc. and your husband is bitching that he can't have a new gaming system that precise second? But that's ok~~they think that they can get another woman to care for the family if the original dies. Guess what? It's no longer the 19th Century, d!ckheads!!
Asswipe 2 years ago
Exciting way to jump to conclusions. Yes, there's evidence women with kids are unhealthier because they consume more calories than women without kids. Research shows also that women do statistically more choirs and take care of the children more. It would sound logical that it leads to unhappiness in the long run if it's not what you want. If you have a richardhead as a partner who makes unreasonable demands no matter if he's man or woman could be estimated to be a reason for unhappiness. There's evidence unhappiness can lead to health problems. So your conclusion sounds logical as one type of scenario but I'd presume it's not the only scenario.
Jessica butts 1 year ago
There is a rise in single women, it's just that they are more happy single than dating crappy dudes. The men are the ones complaining about being single
TubeScream 2 years ago
Exactly! The huge contributor to this is the fact that today we have a lot more young and middle age men then women in recent years due to increase in medical research and allowing more male babies to survive within the first year of birth and later. There have always been more baby boys then baby girls but survival of baby boys within first year of life was very low in the past. Just look at the statistics for each country. In age group 15-35 there is more men then women everywhere. What kind of researcher drawn a conclusion that we have this dating gap due to the fact that "men are not good enough". Where is data that mostly "low quality men are single" or however he want's to put it? Which methodology and scales were used to say that only men with lack of skills, emotionally unavailable are single... This is not the problem of the author but the whole PT board should be embarrassed for putting this out without looking into it first in my opinion.
Anna Nowak 2 years ago
Women feel less of a pressure to be in a relationship, they prefer to be single than to suffer in a bad marriage.
Caro Caro 2 years ago (edited)
This is so true. I think that women have more options now that they are better educated and therefor don't need a man to pay the bills. In the Netherlands the percentage of women in college and uni is higher than men. Good news..(edit neem = need.)
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
@Caro Caro, same in the US in many places, and some men are whining that htey're "victims" of discrimination. As my mom said when I was a kid, "You don't need a (man) to be a person". As for the idea... LOL... Women have *always worked outside the home* except for a very small well-off class of them. Unless on a farm, in which case, they did farm work! The idea that women were all meek little man-accessories is a distortion of the past at best, and hideous propaganda at worst.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
No, women were (are) not all little meek ... is true but many women of an older generation were sahm. My mum worked until marriage, had a few part time jobs when we were kids but that was like one day per week. I know many women my mothers age who have stayed at home and took care of house, kids, garden, husband, etc which is in my eyes a full time job without the pay ... (home and board is not a salary).
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
In the U.S., women are more likely to go to colleges and universities (and are more likely to succeed) than men, as well.
Jo L. 2 years ago (edited)
It's funny to me sometimes how people frame this as a bad thing. Fact is there are many blue collar jobs and skilled trades that pay very well, most of which women are less interested in. For those women that are interested in those types of careers, more power to them. But I feel like there's this culture that shames people who don't pursue some higher education, and it's really holding us back because of resentment towards women "taking up spaces" in universities. ETA: I met my husband when we were both attending a polytechnic and he was finishing his training to become a journeyman electrician. I've noticed for some reason electricians are often much more respected than other trades and I'm not really sure why that seems to be the case.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago
Oh, I agree. I think that more people should look into trades. I think it's just a matter of what you want to do. For people who want to go to college, cool! For people who want to do trades, cool! I feel like the push to make everyone do college is well-intentioned, but ignores the fact that not everyone is the same. I was just pointing out that statistically, women are more likely to go to college and succeed than men.
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)
donna peluda- I find this hard to believe since Spain is one of the few West European countries where working/earning money has always been considered normal even for married women (as opposed to being a housewife, which has been the standard in other countries).
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
Edit: never mind, donna peluda is banned and will never answer to this. Oh well.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I got banned once for replying to someone saying all dogs are good bois that not all dogs are good boys and that dogs kill people every year, even weiner dogs have killed people. :( Dog people got me banned.
Rylee Evergreen🦋 2 years ago
Tim I know I shouldn't be laughing but I am totally LOLing at the reason you were downvoted. Crazyyyyy!!!!!! (personally, I agree PLEASE NO ONE FREAK OUT ;P)
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago (edited)
@Rylee The potato heretic deserved it!!!!!! / jk Really, from what I read I have the impression that everyone who's been banned remembers clearly which comment it was about, and it's always something super silly and harmless (myself included)!
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
I know, but I don't know if it's his first ban... the subsequent ones are longer and permanent, respectively.
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
Hey Caro Caro, I wasn't laughing about the downvotes, did it come across like that? If at all, in a frustrated/sarcastic way, because I do hate it. (And about your failed rain dance 🤣 sorry about the garden though) I wrote you an e-mail a few days ago btw, did you get it?
Kristal 2 years ago
Lol just got out of a long-term relationship because of the lack of "emotional connection skills" on his part. You can BET I will be highly selective once I decide to pursue a relationship again. In the meantime, I'm gonna live my best life earning a PhD.
Dominique 2 years ago
Same here. Zero communication skills, Emotionally unavailable and constantly infantilizing me. Those ones will be the first that don' t make it to the recall round in the future :D
Load More Replies... Alex S 2 years ago
We're not dating their mothers. Go to therapy and stop blaming other people for being a crappy partner.
ADHD McChick 2 years ago
Hey, whoa whoa whoa. I'm not saying I agree with Wolf. But calling someone trashy because they're autistic? Using a mental disorder/disability as an insult? Not cool, man. Not cool at all. Fúck you for that. Maybe that attitude is why YOU'RE single and lonely. Àsshole.
Nadia D 2 years ago (edited)
I dread the future if "being able to communicate and being emotionally available" are "high standards" and women "being incredibly picky" Was ready to read summit about women craving yachts and such c**p, but not that being an adequate human being is way too hight demand for a guy...
JJ 2 years ago
Though we should not forget that people not simply *are* this way but are made this way. Like, the reason for many men thinking they have to act like entitled narcissists is because they were made to believe that this is "manly" (by parents, society standards, media, ...) and that women are attracted by this. Being able to show emotions is still seen as weakness in many societies. I think that the awareness of this just started. There is still a long way to go.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
They’re made to believe that being that way is acceptable and actually really cool by OTHER MEN. Not women. Not even gay men. Other heterosexual men. Like the 12 year old boy who likes a girl but doesn’t want to publicly admit it so says nasty and hurtful things to her when his guy friends, who don’t like girls yet, are around so they’ll think he’s cool. The standard bearers of the entitled, narcissistic, a*****e behavior of most men are those same groups of 12 year old boys, only physically—-but not mentally and emotionally—-older.
Nadia D 2 years ago
Yeah, was thinking about it too) The thing is, society which raised said narcissistic men didn't raise any emotionally open, supportive, self valuing etc women as well) Imo instead of being raised many of us were basically groomed and programmed to serve and sacrifice, and to have only and main value as a sex object or mother of someone's children. Thus in my days common wisdom for women were in a nutshell to become a good manipulator and cone artist, so those eager to be agressive, not able to communicate and so on males( possessing the biggest chunk of money and goods) would give her what she needs and not damage her or her kids (much). Yet, women seems to find their way to break the cycle and get to the way to healthier ways of living ) Men, I believe, totally capable of that too)))
Asswipe 2 years ago (edited)
I think using term narcissist should be decreased as it has nothing to do with this. It's a psychological disorder and lacking sufficient communication skills and being emotionally available isn't the same thing in general context. Many mental disorders are on the rise in modern society but let's not mix that with effects of peer pressure, pressure of society, cultural upbringing and whatnot. Besides, from my pov lack of communication skills doesn't affect just men while men get blamed the most. And the problem is in my opinion that we don't speak the same language and either are not willing to learn or we are just oblivious about it. We expect different things from our partners but necessarily do not see they express themself in differently while misstakenly think they aren't communicating. We also might be expecting things from each other but also them just to know what we want or bring it up in a negative way.
M 2 years ago
Well women today are generally financially independent, can fulfill their sexual needs themselves (often more efficiently than with a partner), are independent and can fulfill their social and emotional needs via family and friends. Having a partner is more of a nice to have than a need to have for most women so why would they settle for someone who would make their life worse? Doesn't help that most men expect their wives and girlfriends to be their mom, nanny, personal chef and cleaner on top of always being available for sex and in great shape while simultaneously holding a full time job.
Meredith K 1 year ago (edited)
I’m going to need you to go back to the 4th grade, which is apparently where you left off, and while you’re there look up Zenobia, Cleopatra, Lakshmibai the Rani of Jhansi, Joan of Arc, Margaret Thatcher, Queen Victoria, Empress Dowager Cixi, Maria Theresa of Austria, Hatshepsut, Catherine the Great, Empress Wu Zetian, Elizabeth I… when (if ever) you reach full emotional maturity, then we’ll consider letting you rejoin the conversation. Until then? Hush child, the adults are speaking.
PupperPanda 2 years ago
"Waaaaahh! Men are used to being a**eholes and hate that women are finally recognising that they don't need a man to be happy". There, fixed it.
Matthew Polley 2 years ago
PupperPanda had it right bud. I agree that there are unhealthy women out there but there is a disproportionate number of women who are victimized by the men that they're in relationships with. As with everything, nothing changes unless there is a massive change. Women have spent so long being victimized, they've had so many uprisings just to be treated as equals and the US in all its arrogance have taken a woman's right to choose away from her when it comes to babies. So... what exactly do you think women would do. It's taken them thousands of years to finally be able to take their power back and instead of just stepping up, guys like you just want to moan about it. You're part of the problem dude... maybe open your eyes and be a part of the solution instead. I love my wife and I would not be this happy if I didn't know how to treat her
Jacqueline Pie Francis 2 years ago
The whole “alpha male” concept is a fallacy anyway. Good for women for not putting up with bulls***
Matthew Polley 2 years ago
I'm with you. As a man I learned that alpha is basically synonymous with a-hole and/or bully
Load More Replies... Cyril Anthony Morello 2 years ago
Part of being “alpha” is strong leadership. Good communication skills at home and work are part of it. I couldn’t survive in my profession without those skills. Especially since I work with mostly middle aged women.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
Men need to teach their sons the lesson of Leaders are NOT BULLIES. They *protect* those who can't protect themselves; first and foremost with their communication skills. The guy who stated that it's the woman's fault if the kid can't communicate didn't factor in the kid's toxic male relatives, who are either fully~blown (they wish) incel or on the brink of being so.
Felix Grace 2 years ago
I think the title is a bit misleading. The article actually validates these women's concerns and standards, and this article should match that energy
Monday 2 years ago
Yeah title makes it seem like the internet was angry, but everyone is just agreeing and adding to the discussion like normal humans.
Load More Replies... Aria Whitaker 2 years ago (edited)
@Becky: Perhaps b/c the responses of quite a few of the men that are "angry about this" were LARGELY attacking the author, insulting women or making it a joke. Hardly any of them were actually disputing the point and arguing their sides like "normal humans" do. Go look at the thread. Not publishing insults to the author, calling him a f*g, cuck, bi*ch, and other horrible terms is not an error on BP's part. If those men had reacted respectfully and intelligently gave a rebuttal, I am sure it would have been included. Instead, most seem to be too busy proving the author 100% correct in his assessment and acting emotionally immature about it.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Those guys kinda proved the point. No one wants their toxicly"masculine" bull s**t.
butt soup 2 years ago
men who refuse to treat women with respect aren't normal humans & never will be unless they drastically change their outlook on life, whether they like it or not. sure, "othering" them won't help *them*, but treating them like their opinions on women are normal does even more harm to women than just hurting their feelings.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I dunno... that bit about too many options for our pretty little heads seemed odd.
Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)
It only feels like men have less options because this is the first time in history women believe that it's okay to be on their own and they aren't failures if they don't get married or have kids. That you aren't an old maid. And there are still a lot of women who can't quite get there. And some women still want relationships if the right guy comes along. But that's just it... we're good with being alone so we can afford to choose a higher quality of man. And by 'higher' I mean simply better than the scraps we've been given or had to take because we were desperate. I can't speak for all women, but in general we aren't asking for anything unreasonable. Men only think this is some new thing because we've never been in a position to be choosy before but we've always wanted it. And there are a lot of agendas out there still trying to stop this. If you haven't noticed, we're suddenly banning books. There are rights women have had for years suddenly being chipped away. People are actively trying to stop women from having choices that would require men to treat them equally. It's truly scary.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I’m 61, and hated it back in the seventies and eighties when I saw my bright and ambitious friends dumb themselves down when they got boyfriends, who were usually nothing more than f*****g cretins in comparison, just to make the guys feel better about themselves. F**k that. Society was busy smoothing their paths for them already, and making those of their girlfriends even harder. I always asked them why they didn’t insist their boyfriends raise themselves up to their girlfriends’ level instead of them lowering themselves to their boyfriends’ levels? Never got a satisfactory answer to that question. You can guess I didn’t date a lot in high school. However, as men started to evolve afterward, I never lacked for dates—-even though I was just as picky back then as women are now. I had my job, my home (no roommates), and total autonomy. It was heaven. I didn’t get married until the right man came along when I was 40, not even looking for a relationship, and actually actively planning for my eventual retirement and the rest of my single life. We’ve now been married 21 years, no kids, and are in the early days of starting and growing our own business together, which will keep us busy, but not backbreakingly busy, until we eventually decide to sell the business and fully retire. If we ever do. Staying in the game and building something of your own from the ground up keeps you young, so why stop and stagnate for a full THIRD of your life?
Robin OConnor 2 years ago
I too am in my 60's and I REFUSED to live how I was raised. Family was thrilled at my high scholastic scores because they would get me into the Uni's I would have best marital options, not that I could achieve on my own. Ruth Bader Ginsberg is my Hero!
Load More Replies... CorgiGirl 2 years ago
64 here. After at least 4 bad relationships ( never married, no kids) I am ever so thankful that I planned my own retirement ( even after one man nearly cleaned me out) and live a happy single life. I don't ever want another "boyfriend". Too much work, too much money and too much anger. Yay for being single. With a dog.
Iifa A. 2 years ago
I don't understand how come this is a new revelation to some. For decades women have been fighting for their rights, for thousands of years they have been less than second class citizens. Are we really surprised women choose better? After all we were raised by women who saw it first hand, and are giving their children life advice to choose better men, do not rush into marriage, don't get pregnant if man isn't suitable for fatherhood, do not have children you can't raise on your own. We were raised by women who had children and a husband but no respect, no fulfilled dreams and no means to escape. Here's to men who actually grew up seeing the horror mother's went through and are supportive and great partners in life. Whole generation is brought up were pressure is put on getting education, women used to not have full education. Times have changed, since we all earn our own money, we need better outcomes from our partners. Partners who celebrate us and themselves and have no insecurities
howlingzen11 2 years ago
And can we stop calling women "females"??? ESPECIALLY in the same sentence when you say "men".
howdylee 2 years ago
Soooo... women having been saying what they want for years and no one listened. Now that a man has written an article stating the same things, NOW it's accepted as plausible?!
Edward Willis 2 years ago
I think it's that the target audience here, those "lonely single men", in many cases don't care what it is that any women say. Now that a man's saying it, they're more likely to listen and think "huh, maybe there's something to this". In general, information coming from multiple sources is more likely to be trustworthy, though it is an issue that "coming from all women" doesn't count as "multiple sources", whereas "all women and one man" does. It's good that it's getting more attention now a man's said it, it's horrible that it didn't get more attention before that and shows just how far we have to go.
Load More Replies... Allan D 2 years ago
Nothing is changing. You just stumbled onto this post about it like I did. In two weeks it will be forgotten.
Edward Willis 2 years ago
This post was written; that's a change. Maybe it'll be forgotten in two weeks, but maybe someone will remember it again in two months, in two years, and then maybe it'll resurface, or maybe just help one person. It's not a big change, but not many changes are. It took my country over 40 years to go from "alright, gay but in private" to "gay marriage". Some of those changes were huge, but many were small things happening over the course of decades.
Bri Nicole 2 years ago
If you've dated recently, you'll realize how much better it is to stay single. No explanation needed.
Seedy Vine 2 years ago (edited)
After abortion rights were taken away in my country, I completely stopped dating men. They are just too high-risk for my health and safety. I don't have human rights if I get pregnant.
Yurie 2 years ago
I was raised in an abusive home and chose abusive men in my teens. After a teen pregnancy and an abusive marriage in my teens, I intentionally stayed single in my 20s, went to therapy, read a lot, reflected, learned and built a business. I have a lingusitics business specializing in Law, Finance and Medicine. I interpret a lot of court cases and therapy sessions and seen the worst, stalking, blackmailing, kidnapping, beating, attempted murder against women by their partners. Most murders against women are by boyfriends or husbands. My needs are changing as I'm turning 30 soon and I'm looking for someone to build on and needless to say I run like the wind at the sign of even a small red flag. Women deserve better.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
I love that the law is now so much more validating to a woman's financial rights at work and in the home. Her money is her's, not automatically the husband's. In the case of divorce, the assets are split with the legal assertion that a man doesn't automatically get access to all the monies, where before (despite the man's bitching about unfairness to *him*) the woman was screwed over and never received a fair share of the assets. We won't even go into child support and alimony.
Deborah B 2 years ago
Add in that men are not competing only with other men anymore - they're also competing against singlehood. Now that singlehood is an economically, socially and reproductively viable strategy, women don't feel the same pressure to enter or stay in unsatisfactory relationships. If you already have status, a career, live independently, have a circle of friends, and you can choose to be sexually active and/or a single mother without social exclusion, you look at a man and ask, "What does this man add to my happiness?" "Does this husband take on a fair share of emotional labour, housework, and parenting duties, or is he free-riding?" The equation has changed.
Hazel Beswick 2 years ago (edited)
In my experience its because they generally want to date women 20+ years younger than themselves and have seriously unrealistic expectations of a girlfriend.
Bananaramamama 2 years ago
I am a bit irked by how this all reads, the original article doesn't vilify high standards and actually identifies the failures of important individuals in a man's life setting a good example/men being well educated on an emotional level. However we can't let our feminist attitudes excuse us from being good partners, which involves compromise and understanding regardless. But also the ratio of the sexes in dating apps is really distorted. Whether it's a swipe right/left scenario or a women must message first concept...there are multiple factors that skew any legitimate study on relationships. Men and women tend to identify and estimate the value of a partner differently. Particularly when "swiping casually". Often insecure individuals have to pay to see "who liked them first" and then are more confident to reciprocate. It may be the more common way to meet people but a poor reflection reflection on dating in a legitimate sense
CL Rowan 2 years ago
Compromise and understanding to the one's we *choose* to have around us. We have been taught to 'settle' rather than search and hold out for the best partner. That time is now over.
Load More Replies... Mistiekim 2 years ago
This article fails to mention the high standards men have developed for women while using a dating app: How a woman looks. Physical attractiveness is first and then looking to see if personality traits match. Nothing wrong with that, but when you’re looking for a supermodel it’s probably not going to happen.
Redemption Happens 2 years ago
Exactly they whine that they’re lonely then whine that no woman is good enough. I can’t tell you how many incredibly unattractive men I know truly think that any woman who doesn’t look like a 20 year old pr0n star is ugly. It’s laughable.
Load More Replies... Cammy Cat 2 years ago
Women used to be told we "better start acting right! Don't want to end up alone!" Oh how the tables have turned! And it's only going to get worse for men if parents don't step up. I left my BF because before I moved in, he and jus kids were able to pick up after themselves and clean the house and make dinner. After I moved in, all those skills magically disappeared and somehow I was the problem by not being ok with it. Well, now he gets to learn to use those skills again
Steve D 11 months ago (edited)
Or emotionally damaged men from broken homes, or from painful breakups. Yes, we can get hurt too and become distrustful. If women don't like the kinds of men that approach them, maybe they could step up and break the ice once in awhile.
Load More Replies... Enlee Jones 2 years ago
Women are sick of being treated like trash by Incels, man babies, PUAs and nice guys who feel entitled to a girlfriend and sex, and now they’re whining that they’re oh so lonely because women won’t put up with it anymore?? Keep whining, guys. You get no sympathy from me. The only date you’re going to get is with your right hand.
Redemption Happens 2 years ago
Totally feeling that comment about men making life harder instead of better. I don’t want to be a grown man’s mommy. Just no.
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
"Men live better when partnered" usually translates as "men live better with a mother figure to do everything for them." So...tough luck.
Elio 2 years ago
Man-children are pretty much parasites who suck the lives out of their wives/girlfriends. It's not surprising that single, heterosexual women are happier overall.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Did they study lesbian couples much? One would think they'd be happiest. Man+woman = happy man, single woman=happy woman, so woman+woman would = two happy women, right? Two positives = a positive?
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I had an ex who began showing this type of parasitic behavior towards the end of our relationship (asking me to clean his apartment, do his dishes, etc.) then couldn't understand why I got irritated. Very clear as to why there was an "end" to that relationship.
Lea S. 2 years ago (edited)
Here's a sampling of some of the men I've come into contact with recently. A man a few years my senior (40 or so) who decided to hit on me by loudly insulting the size of my a*s. I work out, hard. I'm f****n' proud of my a*s. Another man who asked why I hadn't dated in a while and when I told him (talking about how I have a harder time with every day life when I date) and he responded with 'you realize that's YOU, not them right?' Another one who asked why I went to my BEST FRIENDS wedding alone and suggested it could only be because I was planning to f**k it up and run off with the groom. Another one asked what I was doing on a Sunday afternoon and I said, I'm having a glass of wine and prepping for my week (this includes meal prepping and craft prepping, I run a preschool). He responded by calling me an alcoholic.
Lea S. 2 years ago (edited)
Another guy told me that by going out on a Tuesday night with my girlfriends, I was doing my preschool class a disservice. He said this right after I got a major promotion at my job. The same man would come over and wake me up for a blowjob at three in the morning, even if I asked him not to. I'm 36. I have so many girlfriends my age who have been through one or two divorces or are currently stuck in a soul-sucking, hateful marriage. It won't happen to me.
Load More Replies... Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
What kind of WTF bull$h!t is that? I hope you told him to literally go eff himself. And just for the record, turn about is fair play. Time to go wake 'em one morning with your legs wrapped around their head yelling "Eat it dammit! Eat till I say you're done!" Hmmmm...YMMV, but that actually doesn't sound like a bad way to be woken up...not bad at all.
Steve D 11 months ago
Why would you even let him in your house? Would you blow him? If so, then that's why he would show up. He didn't need his hand. Work on developing some healthy boundaries, and don't bend them for anybody. And forget dating apps, find a local group that does hobbies you enjoy and join it. Get to know someone before dating anyone.
Zenozenobee 2 years ago
And I bet they wonder why they are single and are not adressons themselves the " that's you, not them"
Juanjo 2 years ago
it is very sad what happened to you. I am really sorry for that. there are some people who don't really understand what an alcoholic is. there are people who don't understand that they cannot judge other people's decisions in life. and definitely, body must not be insulted. whether you have a very attractive body, nor you're on the unlucky unhealthy side. but, however, you also understand that these examples do not represent the 100% of men who addressed you in life, right? neither the 100% who reached you with the intention to have some kind of relationship. right?
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
The other part of this trend of lonely men is that most won’t have kids, so their brand will eventually die out, like the dinosaurs they are, and be replaced by the highly evolved men raised by their educated and successful single mothers, who will pick and choose GOOD male role models for them to emulate. There’s a wonderful generation of men like that coming up,. I look forward to welcoming them into a much better world.
lazypanda 2 years ago
so, a woman broke up with a terrible partner who didn't respect her, got full custody of the kids because otherwise the kids would be in danger, asked for child support so that the kids could, y'know, live, and then moved on with her life and married a guy who supports actually supports her? what is wrong with that?
CatWoman312 2 years ago
Women don’t want just a handsome face. If that’s all you got to offer you might as well say you have nothing to offer. Women have been bringing much more to the table as well as the table for a while now and we’re tired. We’re tired of being moms to manchildren who lack any emotional intellect or ability to take care of themselves beyond the basics (which some can’t even handle that, do you know how many times I’ve had to tell men to go to the doctor/dentist or grocery shop!?). I could rant for hours. I love my husband, but even him I have to side eye sometimes because he’ll make a sexist comment or I have to do something his mommy did that he should now do himself. Honestly I get the incline of lesbians lol
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Reading articles about dating and relationships makes me glad that I already found the person I want to spend my life with.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Same here, but i'm so worried about my daughter! She gave up before she was out of high-school. I don't want to be pushy, but i do want her to find someone to be happy with. I don't want her to be alone when her step dad and i die of old age.
Load More Replies... Nicole Sutula 2 years ago
She won’t be alone. Friends and family are a thing, and a wonderful one at that! You don’t need a spouse to not be lonely, especially in the age of the internet.
OffKeySinger 2 years ago
Playing the world's smallest violin for these men crying about being lonely because women have increasingly healthier standards.
Kitty Jordan 2 years ago (edited)
"Many women are overwhelmed with the many options they have". Oooooh, no, honey, no. I was on dating apps. Yes, you get a million messages, but 99% of them are inappropriate and creepy. Sheer number does not equal that many options. Honestly, while I appreciate good communication and emotional connection, I feel like the bar is actually much lower than that, and guys still aren't meeting it. I would have been thrilled for even an actual attempt at a conversation before jumping into an inappropriate comment, *that's* how low the bar is.
Kristen O 2 years ago
But are you happier and more self fulfilled now than if you had felt the need to bring one of those incels home? There’s more choice now, and if the pickings are slim/below your standards, you can still live peacefully and in good health. Whereas men without partners aren’t as happy and don’t live as long. Men just don’t understand how much we can take them or leave them, I think.
Gwyn 2 years ago (edited)
Skill gap? What about the character gap? If you are just a bad communicator but a good person, you can learn, make it in a relationship if your partner is also a good person. But if you lack character, there is no mystery in why women don't want to date you.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Or the creepy horny cave man factor. Cave man + cellphone = random unwanted d**k pics.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 2 years ago
Lonely single men who can't find a date due to issues isn't a new thing. Pretty much every online dating site is vastly skewed to more guys (AshleyMadison revealed over 95%) because women quickly have a bad experience with sexist jerks and cancel the account. Everyday millions of men go to strip clubs and pay a woman to talk to them because they can't get a woman to acknowledge them otherwise. I feel empathy for people across the entire gender spectrum who are lonely because they have the self respect to expect to be treated well and cannot find someone willing to meet such a low standard of human decency. Being a jerk is an easily fixed choice. I feel as much compassion for them being lonely as I do someone complaining they are thirsty and won't drink store brand bottled water.
Polly Hart 2 years ago
I've dated a few horrible men. I'm now dating a lovely woman, and have never been happier. So that's two less women now in the dating pool 😂😂😂
Bill Allen 2 years ago
There’s a reason that my wife and I have been in a 99% drama free relationship with each other for the past 45 years. It’s because we both want it. We see that most problems are solvable without having to argue. Using hurtful language to each other is not acceptable.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I've noticed that dating apps give an artificial impression of large surplus of available people. But in reality the more attractive people are swamped with queries and hence don't have much time to interview each candidate properly. I've also heard from female friends that they typically have a few hundred suitors on the apps whereas e.g. myself maybe 1-2 per day. They tell me that most men are idiots holding fish without a shirt (putin style). Apparently gents this does NOT work. Apparently it puts women off you. So maybe ditch the dead fish thing.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
I don't know why men (and it is overwhelmingly men) feel that a hobby where they torture and kill wild animals is in any way attractive. If you need to hunt and fish to support yourself then I'm gonna have to pass, and if you don't need to then leave the wildlife alone!
Load More Replies... joop 2 years ago (edited)
I once went to an international dating site and saw that. Had to look twice. What is that? No way. Does he think women will think: Oh wow, this guy hunted a tiger, that's so cute and romantic. Lets gets married.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Eww! Well that’s a big fat oh hell no! Hunting tiger, that’s absolutely VILE.
J Sirkka Wirkki 2 years ago
I laugh so hard at the men who get cranky about this article and start talking about the lack of evidence, statistics, data, studies. Meanwhile ALL the women IMMEDIATELY know the article is accurate, because our whole lives we have suffered in myriad ways due to men's (not all men but the majority) selfishness, relationship laziness, sexual laziness/selfishness, arrested emotional development, and STUBBORN REFUSAL to learn and evolve and be a decent human being. But go ahead and stay cranky, boys. Keep denying reality and invalidating women because you don't like what they're saying. What? Take responsibility and make an effort?! Say it ain't so! Calm down. No one is forcing you. Feel free to stay immature, single, and lonely the rest of your life.
Vanja Vidovic 2 years ago
These are actually good news: those are men that shouldn't be in a relationship and shouldn't procreate. If there were no "arranged marriages", we would evolve to be better human beings centuries ago!
Danny Trejo 2 years ago
I feel the same as a man. had 2 horrible relationships were my first gf cheated on me and the second went full borderline on me for almost 8 years. we broke up like 150 times a year. i now live alone and in peace. i waste as little time and thoughts on women as is can.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Blimey. Living with someone who suffers from borderline is tough. You must be relieved.
Load More Replies... Demongrrrrl 2 years ago
I haven't been in a relationship in over 16 years and I don't miss it one bit. I'm happy to be single and child free. I miss having someone to talk to, but definitely don't want to share living space with someone. My last serious relationship ended with me spending a month in a psychiatric hospital because he was emotionally abusive and manipulative.
CorgiGirl 2 years ago
YES. " miss having someone to talk to" ... girl, what they talk about is sports, cars, strip clubs and golf. You're not missing anything at all. This from another girl who hasn't had a relationship in 14 yrs. I'm good thanks. And happy. If I wanna talk, I'll call a friend.
Lisa 2 years ago
It is kind of sad that men aren't taught this the way daughters are. We need to teach our children the same skills regardless of gender. Girls should be taught to fix things, boys should be taught to handle their emotions in a healthy way.
Y D 2 years ago
Church enrollment is also in freefall. Hard to find yourself an obedience little baby machine when she has literally any other option. Met some escaped Hasidim at a cleanup in Tomkins Square. Picking up used heroin needles and living in a shelter better than married life in a cult.
Andrzej Nikolaevich 2 years ago
I'm glad that the issue is being addressed. I hear my sister and cousins talk of the bad relationships they have been in, with bad men who do not truly know what it means to be in a relationship. I am glad that the article was published, so hopefully the crazy assholes will learn to properly be a male and a to understand about being in a healthy relationship and learn the proper skills. The article is a good thing because it gets out the word that women will not be tolerating the bad males in a relationship anymore, which will hopefully decrease the toxic, angry, Abusive men. I am glad i was grown up to be the way i am, rather than the males of the generation that don't know the proper emotional skills, however it is a sad thought to me that they did not get raised in a healthy family surrounding leading to these being unable to understand basic human standards, and i hope they will get the hint to learn the right skills so that less toxic and unsuccessful relationships occur.
J Sirkka Wirkki 2 years ago (edited)
I am psyched about women choosing BETTER FATHERS FOR THEIR CHILDREN and rejecting men who would be terrible fathers. If garbage humans cannot breed, this bodes well for the evolution of our species and the future of our world.
Ladytron 2 years ago
It's definitely time for a change. I think women are over the era of being expected to be "grateful" that a man gives them just any attention. Men are not in tune with that and therefore react with feeling that they are "picky". Having standards of someone emotionally available, compatible and with communication skills is not being picky. It's the bare minimum, otherwise why bother? That, and that he actually cares about her sexual needs (that have been overlooked for too long if he's otherwise a "good guy"). That combo is HARD to find among men. Almost the same odds of finding a unicorn.
El Dee 2 years ago
I feel that this is true for a certain section of men but that they would have been lonely before the advent of online dating. The neckbeards, the uber machos and those who send d**k pics instead of saying hello. These make up a LOT of the messages that get sent online. Needless to say they get ignored and women will talk to those men who actually TALK to them. It feels like this is older men who have failed to adapt to the modern world and that Gen Z and Milenials don't figure as much in this group..
Justin C 2 years ago
The reason so many men are lonely is because women are only going after a small selection of men. For example, on Tinder, only 5% of men recieve matches. And it's NOT because they're "emotionally available and communicative" - it's because they're tall, hot, and have money. All this nonsense about women "choosing healthier relationships" is just the usual "just be nice" gaslighting.
Daniel Brock 2 years ago
Happily married to a wonderful woman for 26 years. Every day I try my best to earn that. It's not hard, guys.
marianne eliza 2 years ago
I've told some guys (can't call them men) to improve themselves. Take dancing lessons. Take cooking classes. Public speaking. Learn how to make small talk. Notice I said nothing about physical improvement.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
And i bet those guys got cranky and insulted your appearance. (It's what i got in return for suggesting improvements...)
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
This whole article sounds like an advertisement to adopt a pet. "Adopt yourself a lonely man from the shelter today!"
Stacey Rae 2 years ago
First the men I've known in my life suck. However with the divorce rate at 46% almost as many men will say the same thing. Id like to know where these stats are from. Could another factor also be the huge over population of men in China due to the one child rule where countless females where murdered. According to stats the average human is a 33 year old Asian male. Don't get me wrong, men in general need to do better.
K Y 2 years ago
Nope, it's just men. Women who live alone are not lonely, we're thriving.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I was very lonely when i lived alone. Between that and almost 0 self-esteem i wound up marrying one of the awful guys. :( New hubby is a unicorn, so works out in the end. ^_^
Sean Sean 2 years ago
What concerns me is that the article, and many people posting ITT, assume that if a man is having trouble finding a date or partner it's because they are a horrible person. Relationships take work, and practice. You can't learn how to be in a relationship if you are given few, or no, opportunities to be in one.
joop 2 years ago
Yeah that's nonsense. I have been on dating sites when I felt lonely and there are some great guys, divorced, nothing the matter with them. I went on a date with a blind guy. His ex took the expensive stuff out of the house, because he was blind. He didn't sound like he was the problem. He said most women want a guy who fixes stuff in the house for them and he can't do that. It's often just better to stay single after a divorce for men and women. The young ones should be helped and taught to not fall for the wrong one. If you find a good partner when you're young, don't ignore red flag ships, you can stay happily married. That's the case for men and women. There are male narcissists and female narcissists, just avoid em all.
google glop 2 years ago (edited)
Girls and math. It's always an adventure. It's pretty simple, gals. For every 1 "lonely" guy, there's 1.1 single women, since you outlive us substantially and men are the vast majority of homicide victims, workplace fatalities, and suicides. So in essence you're doing a victory lap around your own lonely, single, jiggly butts. And I know you've been told since the day you were born your sh!t don't stink, but you were lied to. Men get real, real sick of your funky asses too. Every unmarried, childless man is a victory for the planet, not to mention a victory for common sense. You're just buying a house for somebody who spends 80% of her waking life talking sh!t about you to her friends, fellas-- a house you're getting kicked out of the second she gets bored.
Joseph Snedeker 2 years ago
Damn even as a gay man reading through this article, the amount of hate for men from womens posts really increase my suicidal and self harm ideations. Idk why I even try to exist if, no matter what I do, all men are always hated.
PandaWizzard21 2 years ago
Im sorry but this article is utter nonsense because a lot of modern men simply choose to be single not because they are horrible. Because according to this article all single people around the world are single because they are horrible, i mean i didnt know every woman thats single is automatically horrible and the same thing for guys but wow this rubbish article is just saying if you are single whether you are a man or woman you are immediately a bad person. People please.... What else did you expect from an online article written by someone who was very drunk that day, give me a break....
PandaWizzard21 2 years ago
While the article is true and understandable it applies to both sides as there are horrible men and horrible women, you are ignoring the fact that a lot of good men also suffered cheating or abusive women. Personally i blame both sides horrid men and horrid women that created this serious trust issue between both sides.
Mindful Naked 2 years ago
As usual, it's always the men's fault. It doesn't matter how emotionally available you are as a man, or how well you cater to a woman, she wants what she wants. She will go after what she wants, be it immediate physical attraction, stature, financial or all. There are plenty of men who are willing to go several extra miles for women, but many times those guys aren't the ones women are naturally attracted too. Women date up, not laterally or down. It's not rocket science.
Jan Sta 2 years ago
Despite "quality" of women isnt rising. Men and women are quite the same in this. Men have it harder, that is all. They are not such demanding and are willing to make compromise much more than women so that is why there are more women in relationship. Someone said that men should behave better. 99 % of men naturaly behave well maybe better than women.
Brandon Pyle 2 years ago
So I agree that it's great that women are raising their standards. What the article implies though is that because women have standards men are sh*t out of luck because ALL men are just pieces of sh*t. The article should read, "stupid a*****e men are lonely because women are tired of settling for stupid a*****e men and would rather just focus on being the best versions of themselves, trusting that as they become their best selves the right man will come along."
Black Dragon Fatalis 2 years ago
Men also want a healthy relationship but no seems to even talk about that
Curry on... 2 years ago
It hurts me to my heart to say that ALL of the most difficult periods of my life featured a man, because I really, really like men, but some of them just aren't nice people.
Karl 2 years ago
I know of some men that the study is referring to. I am displeased that it feels like all men are being represented solely by the app users and it is assumed that all women have all the skills and no other weakness/faults. The men I don't want to be lumped in with have additional faults/weaknesses. Hence why they are people I know and not friends. I know and understand why some men are single. I also know and understand why some women are single. Hope this is just a choice section of the study.
Dertien Vijfenvijftig 2 years ago
The issue here is that there is no connection between stronger mental health and being in a relationship. I have worked on my mental health all my life, feel incredibly happy with it and with myself. I've picked up many communication skills which people consider more of a "feminine side." This is NOT what women search in a man. Rather, I've seen them be impressed by immature attention seekers more than anything. I never really felt that much interest in dating, but the realization that it's all a big farce made me make up my mind: dating just isn't real, or genuine, or nearly as much about giving love as it should be. And if women don't mind being alone, why should men?
Valentin Coserea 2 years ago
Man i completely understand you. In my last attempt I was the one trying communicate, to find midlle ground, to bring romance and say nice things to make her feel good about herself because she seemed insecure and needed a lift up and i only wanted to make her feel good about herself since i considered she has to. In the end it only pushed her away and I was laid off slowly without even being told so, and with no regret from her. If you want to understand what this post is all about you can read The Rational man by Rollo Tomassi, but i suggest you do it with a grain of salt as his views can be a little extreme, which is never good, just like this article goes but on the other side. But a lot of the things he says seem to be valid. My advice just try to be the best you can, for yourself and no one else.
George Luis 1 year ago
I’m sorry, but this one sided perspective on why men are single wreaks of BS. Although there is some truth here and in the comments, there is so much being left out it’s a shame. Once again everything is being put on the Man, and the women are just perfect in all of it… Wreaks of BS. We need to start understanding each other, this is not a one way street toward solving this problem… It’s a 2 way
Gregory Hall 2 years ago
I don’t know but many men I know seem relaxed and happy at being single,,, it may be a British mindset,,,, younger generations are more single then ever before
Ray Arani 2 years ago
I'm just happy that this increases the dating pool for queer women! More bi and pan women realizing their queerness when they aren't constantly stuck with subpar men and pairing up with other women if they want something healthy! Oh, to bad so sad for men, more ladies to date for me!
Saw It 2 years ago
The pool of men over 40-50 who are decent humans, and will date a woman over 40-50 is about the size of the end of my pinky finger. I'm very active, in great shape and don't want someone who does nothing but sit on the couch all weekend. I listed my hobbies and hopes for someone who would share my active lifestyle on a dating app and got a 3 page, verbally abusive rant from an overweight, unkempt 55/yo (who looked like he hadn't bathed in a week in his pic) told me my standards were too high between calling me every nasty name in the book, and I would never find a man. Like that was a threat (rofl). Okay. I'm perfectly capable of doing all my hobbies on my own, eating out on my own, or simply being alone, even going on vacation alone--been doing it for years. Especially if you're all there is to offer. I quit trying to internet date at 50, and I'm perfectly content as I am.
Gozer LeGozerian 2 years ago
Men blaming women for their own bad behaviour since the dawn of... Well, men
Jessica butts 1 year ago (edited)
There are also more single women, the difference is that single women are happier and single men are more unhappy, so women would Rather be alone than date men who don't meet their standards.
Gregory Hall 2 years ago
I don’t know ,,, most men i know seem happy being single ,, I don’t know if it’s a British thing Lot of the younger generations are more single then ever before
Pinky Exus 2 years ago
Just as expected. They blame everything on men. Doesn't surprise me at all. It's a 50/50. It's not always men's fault, it's also this disgusting society that is not capable of teaching men how to communicate (just like the study said), fatherless men are a huge problem + bad experiences (alcoholic fathers, bad behaviour and so on), this also contributes to the bad behaviour of men, they are emotionally unavailable for many bad reasons, but one of them might be even worse: you know how women tell men to " MAN UP" when they get emotional or try to comfort your? Hahaha it happened multiple times right in front of my eyes, some men just prefer not to open up because of this, oh and that woman will use it for later, yuck! I really want women to consider these causes too and not ignore them and blame everything on men
millac 2 years ago
Read somewhere that women are now (essentially) wanting to date wife material, and that rang true for me. Women want someone who keeps up their appearance, does chores, cooks, and handles domestic tasks, is emotionally sensitive and aware of their wife's needs, and who will prioritize their wife--all the things a traditional wife is expected to encapsulate towards a husband. These women are career driven, self-supporting, have degrees, own assets, hold the power to be choosy, are breadwinners, etc. Many of the duties and roles men used to hold. So it makes sense that they need and want someone to fill the 'wife' role for them, instead of someone who would be a second, competing, 'husband' in the same relationship.
google glop 2 years ago
Girls and math. It's always an adventure. It's pretty simple, gals. For every 1 "lonely" guy, there's 1.1 single women, since you outlive us substantially and men are the vast majority of homicide victims, workplace fatalities, and suicides. So in essence you're doing a victory lap around your own lonely, jiggly asses. And I know you've been told your s**t doesn't stink since the day you were born, but you were lied to. Men get real sick of your funky asses too.
Snudge 2 years ago
From an outsider perspective (asa gay man) I have noticed my girl friends standards are completely unrealistic, I think the media tells them to not settle for anything less than perfection, which is completely unrealistic. Ofcourse many men need to work on their emotional maturity but women have to be reminded than men are just flawed humans like them, women tend to forget that they aren’t easy to be with either.
Dahita 2 years ago
Your feminist tainted article is hilarious. Single ladies out there became more demanding because of medias hammering them with "empowerment" ideals and because of dating apps that are over crowded with single guys on the hunt. It creates an imbalance in two ways: 1- Single woman shoot for positions out of their league and end up alone at 50 with a cat for a friend 2- Guys become happier being on their own with a couple of flirts a month for hygiene and loads of money for comfort You have obviously never been to a dating meet-up for people over 40. The few women you find there are unimpressive to say the least, and still behave like they are the queen of England. Better to be single than suffer this grief.
Asswipe 2 years ago (edited)
Cool clickbait story but I respectfully disagree. I'd suggest this guy actually does some real research instead of social media. Dating apps are hardly comprehensive depiction of the whole population of the world or even men and what I've read about dating apps most men are there to hook up which makes it less desirable to use them for women who actually want to be in a relationships. Besides, times just have changed. The long term relationships have lost their status for women too. In fantasies people may want long term relationships but are not able to work for their relationship or tolerate another human being enough to be in one and first of all choose the right partners.
leah 2 years ago
I didn't date much before meeting my husband at the age of 32 and we married within 9 months. We met in June, were engaged by our birthdays in September, and married that next April. We had our first daughter Sadie just before we turned 40 and Rosie was born when we were 42. I didn't really need or want a man until him and I'm really glad I waited because we were both where we wanted to be in life before getting married and having kids. Best decision of my life was waiting.
TubeScream 2 years ago
This is represented to the public in the really really really bad way just to get some media attention. That article in Psychology Today doesn't say anything at all. First of all everywhere in the world there is more baby boys then baby girls born. That's natural since male babies are more likely to die in the first age of life. First of all there is more man then women EVERYWHERE in the age group 15-35. Everyone can look at the statistics. What changed is that we are able to save more baby boys in infant period than we used to 30year ago. This leaves us with even more men in that age group that they are mentioning. We will continue to have more and more single and middle age man ANYWAY. SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THERE IS MUCH MORE MEN THEN WOMEN IN THAT AGE GROUP!!! Not because all men need to do better. Yes some men need to and also some women need to. Saying that we will end up with more paired men if "they get better" is a simple toxic lie, has nothing to do with research.
Sarah R. 2 years ago
If i look into the men in my surrounding who are single, they are either socialy awkward, obese or otherwise unhealthy or unhygenic or living the "iam a white man jerk* on a high standard. My female coworkers complain about theire husbands a lot, like how they are not even able to fetch the child from kindergarden AND make them lunch, because the mother has the longer shift that day, its a high risk, that the child has to stay longer in daycare or gets fastfood (again). Iam a lesbian (and very glad i dont have to date men) and my wife works with me so our female coworkers envy us a lot how we work together as a real team and consider the other ones schedules and needs always and act accordingly, because its the right thing to.do in a healthy marriage, to help each other out. (Sry for typos, iam not a natural speaker)
Marie Edison 2 years ago
Reading that article about men being lonely is hurtful to me as a woman but it didn't have to be this way. After seeing several Men YouTube video and podcast creators in the age range of 30 to 55 creating content stating how today's women aren't worth it, we're too old at 30, have No Hope for love if someone is 40 or a single mom, No sex No dates, screw any morals you have, your career drive makes you masculine, you won't get a "high value man" (whoever he is) because your unworthy and every negative degrading word you can hear you can't BLAME WOMEN for eventually putting their foot down, doing them and feeling UNBOTHERED by men feeling lonely. Women need Men and Men need US but until Men STOP ACTING like we aren't needed beyond sex and looks women will continue to build their empires alone. We don't want to do this alone and don't mind building with a loving partner, but why invite drama just to have a man IF he is still emotionally unavailable and thinks your not good enough anyways?
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
As women become more empowered and inspiring to other women, and kinder to them as well, our standards rise and men have to raise their bar for a relationship becoming permanent. Marriage is not the be all end all. No one likes to be treated like dog doo doo, or belittled, smacked down or abused in any way. Partners should lift you up, support your dreams and communicate well. Parenting is a two or three person job and sometimes more. Village? Heck yes! Picky women are happier and have found freedom in themselves and learning that to love yourself and be a strong, happy woman, sometimes means, no man, til you meet the right one! Women are on the move and the way to go, is UP! ::))
Karen Lyon 2 years ago
I don't think it's just middle-aged men, either. I'm in my 60's, and I am really not interested in doing the dating thing unless the man is worth it. I dated a man for a year and half, several years ago. It turned out he lost interest in me about 8 months before we split, but didn't come clean about it so that we could at least still be friends and hang out on occasion. Instead, it was not a smooth ending, because I realized he wanted me around to keep him from being lonely. There's another man I know, much older than I am, who has the same agenda, plays a lot of silly games, as if we were in high school (and that particular man is in his 70's!) To say I am quite fine with being perpetually single is an understatement.
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
Been married 30 odd years. Put up with a lot of s**t, but that went both ways. I'm probably part of the last generation to compromise more than my husband - but if I manage to outlive him, I don't think I will ever date again.
Dan Orozco 2 years ago
Here's the thing too, not all of those men are horrid criminals. Some can be decent people who simply have poor social skills. Or in my case, I live in Japan and I can never find a girlfriend here, but I hvae a good career here and I am sure that had I moved to say, Europe, I just would have a harder time finding a job. So here I am in Japan, alone.
Mary Leverett 2 years ago
Helen Reddy (Rest in Peace), had a GREAT song, lyrics that stay with me "No one bending over my shoulder/Nobody breathing in my ear" - Peaceful Here. Barbra Streisand is "Lullaby for Myself" is another, personally empowering song.
J. Brelner 2 years ago
I find the opposite to be true. I'm living my best life now -- a single man. I have a clean, orderly home, money in the bank and low stress. Frankly, I don't plan on ever being in a relationship with a woman again and I've never been happier.
Janelle Collard 2 years ago
If you live in your mom's basement/by yourself, NEVER interact with people/women IRL and have ZERO social skills - yes, you WILL be single for your entire life.
Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
I'm 73. Men have not changed appreciably since I was young. It's just that women are not putting up with any shenanigans. Lol
Kevin Hobbs 2 years ago
What a joke, women hurt men just as much as men hurt women. More than once I have seen women pick because of looks and money. They don't care about emotions or shared needs. I as a guy have found I am more happier not trying to find that special someone now. Start looking in the right place and you will find what and who you need.
Rumple Schleppskin 2 years ago
I have no complaints about this, as no one should. Baby steps I guess, i feel like we should have been here awhile ago.. .. i feel like my market value goes up when people are looking for quality. ... Everyone should raise their standards, and not based on physical appearance. Be cause that never stands the test of time.
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
When online dating first became available I learned that just knowing the difference between your and you're, or they're, there, and their, as well as being able to construct a cohesive sentence and being generally more interested it what the women were like outside the boudoir (and what they liked inside it), gave me a _huge_ advantage over many of the other men on there.
Burgermeister 2 years ago
I thought it was ironic that one post said single, childless women were happiest followed immediately by another who said she was so sad because she decided to stay single due to past abuse (thereby giving up on finding a "good" guy.)
Mary Ricketts 2 years ago
Boys are still largely socialized by women, their moms or sitters or daycare teachers. Why by now are they not being raised more like girls? This has been going on since the 1960s and is what needs to change, so women who are dating don’t have to become mommies to adult men.
kaiser soze 2 years ago
Kill the women who refuse to cooperate, pair the rest off with single men. Problem solved!
kaiser soze 2 years ago
Kill the single women who refuse to cooperate, pair the rest off with men. Problem solved.
Amber Gray 2 years ago
Is anyone gonna help them learn to be better or how to be better or is society going to keep shoving the same bs down their throats and telling them to suck it up. Also are they allowed to have the same standards women are told to have or is society still going to tell them they aren't allowed to have standards and just take what they can get why they suck up all emotional stuff and pretend all is well.
Andrew Bridge 2 years ago
Can't have a lack of communication problem if no-one communicates. I guess I'm just ugly though
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
What matters is how kind hearted you are, how good you are at making a woman laugh, how trust worthy you are, and how non-judgmental you are. It's hard to find good people since the shallow judgemental ones are such frikkin loudmouths, but they are out there in all genders. Of course, guys screw themselves over by going after the "hot girls" who tend to be narcissistic and shallow, and used to guys throwing themselves at them. Guys get upset if one suggests looking for a girl with a heart of gold but a bit ugly. (Why is "nice personality" code for ugly?) All humans look alike to be honest. My hubby thought he was ugly and i warned him before we met that i look like a hippopotamus, but we love eachother, make eachother laugh almost every day, and we trust eachother and earn eachother's trust. That's what you gotta look for to be happy. It's damn hard to find though!
Mark Faby 2 years ago
The casual sexism against men - the 'women good, men bad' attitude used so often in these posts is rude, biased and exaggerated. Every man who reads these has his own example(s) of a woman that pulled c**p on him and did it without a second thought. You may not care to have it pointed out but it's true. ALL men and women can be jerks given the right circumstances and to constantly act like it's only men is childish and sexist.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Go make a fake attractive female dating profile on any site, count the creepy b******t messages and d**k picks you get in a week then tell us again how you poor poor boys are sooooo misjudged...
Load More Replies... Juanjo 2 years ago
Alicia, I think, you're misunderstanding his comment. nobody said there aren't bad men. of course are. and lots of them. but it doesn't mean that all men are bad, and for sure doesn't give a woman to treat badly other men who did nothing wrong, just because some woman was previously mistreated by another man. and that is exactly what is happening here. biased comments and results that do not show the full reality.
Chris S 2 years ago
That's what so many people miss. Some women have fallen into the "they did it to us we'll do it to them" mentality. It's f*cked up when men treat women wrong and it's f*cked up when women treat men wrong. But unfortunately so many just don't see this and are blinded by rage. As a dude it's like no matter what you do you will always be wrong. Men are you nervous around women and find it hard to express feelings towards them? Well loser just change your entire life over night, but you'll still be a loser. Women are tiered of men just wanting you for your body? Well all you have to do is basically become their slave. These are just two examples of how f*cked women and men can be towards each other. Women think it's a "man bad woman good" thing, while men think it's a "woman bad man good" thing.
Asswipe 2 years ago
1. It's better to be single because most people can't handle that the other person there isn't their puppet that can be exploited how ever they want and won't act according their every whim 2. It's good for this planet that most of the people are too selfish to be in a relationship. The sooner people realize that their demands are too high to fill and stay single thinking the other gender is bad in every way, the less people there will be. And single people have lower life expectancy
Nick Siebenmorgen 2 years ago
It sounds like y'all want to date women. Men are not the same. Men communicate through action not words. Men don't feel the need to analyze unnecessary meaningless noise. If you can't respect these differences and appreciate men for what they are stay single or date women.
Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
I like this article. It's so true! My daughter is 30 and she's this close to giving up for good. "Why aren't you dating?" "Because men."
Craig Reynolds 2 years ago
I think it's all in how a person was raised (parented). If you're a man whose mom did everything for you, you are probably going to look for that in a woman and you will not likely find that. If you are a woman whose dad treated you like a princess, doting and catering to your every want that told you to accept nothing less in a BF/husband, the odds are high you are staying single because you are what most men consider high maintenance. You and the equally spoilt mamma's boy should avoid each other because you will never make it work unless one of you becomes wealthy and can throw money at everything.
K Y 2 years ago
Interesting how, in both situations, it's the woman's fault. That's why you're alone.
Load More Replies... PaxScientia 2 years ago
People don't go on dating apps to find a healthy relationship. If there are fewer women on dating apps, that means they're less interested in meaningless hookups than they used to be. If you want a relationship, you need to get out and meet people. It's unfortunate that this "study" took this very obvious conclusion and turned it into an opportunity to c**p on men generally instead of saying "trends are changing and if men want to meet women they should put down the phone and go do something."
Tim 2 years ago
This article has it right that men are increasingly single but the reasons aren't backed by the behavioral data from women. "good beta male communicator" is NOT the reason women aren't choosing those lonely men. It's looks and money. Those are the driving forces for.women picking and keeping men in a relationship. Men are increasingly more poor and unhealthy/overweight. That's why. The data doesn't lie. Look up red pill and black pill dating. Those pro-male resources cite actual DATA and show it's women, not men who are driving men into loneliness based on shallow desires.
Curry on... 2 years ago
Poverty sucks and being slovenly is not sexy. Be fair, there are guys out there living in their parents' basement, who want women who earn a good income and are a 10 on the beauty scale. Unrealistic expectations benefit neither sex, but having no standards is a recipe for failure.
Marcus Aurelius 2 years ago
Of course this goes viral because the survey provides no source data or peer review. This is junk. Only an opinion backed up by nothing. The throngs of miseducated internet ne'er-do-wells eat it up. This isn't science. This is an socio-political agenda looking for clicks for validation.
Poke Rambler 2 years ago
Imagine a psychologist recommending folks get therapy to improve their life. Also think about this "math". If more men are single, I guess all the ladies just started to switch to women? Nah they're single and lonely too.
Ladytron 2 years ago
Single yes lonely no. 1. In general single women have more friends that can fill their social and emotional needs. 2. Vibrators often work better to take care of their sexual needs vs having sex with a man. 3. more women today choose to stay childfree. SO. There isn't the same loneliness to being single.
Load More Replies... Curry on... 2 years ago
There are lonely women out here, even ones who can fill up their days with friends and activities.
Ed 2 years ago
Assumptions, HUGE sweeping generalizations, and misandry. Men and women are existing and progressing within the same society. It's easy to convince yourself that men simply need to rise up to the lofty standards of the more advanced, superior woman, but it's just not very intelligent or productive.
Duke Sparrow 2 years ago
Wow, I don't know what all these women have been encountering in men, but my own experience is the exact opposite of the article. Most women are far more trouble than they're worth. I often times end up being the adult... or more like the dad honestly, in relationships because women lack basic life skills and don't know how to handle business on their own
Chris S 2 years ago
And here we are once again stuck in this never ending cycle. Let's just start at high school, girls and dudes don't care about personality, communication or longevity, just looks and how quickly they can lose their virginity. Around college there is a great divide, men and women that grow up to actually understand what a healthy relationship is, and then those that are stuck to the "sex is everything" method. This is where we're screwed as a society, that half that don't grow out of the high school mentality of "sex = adult" usually are the loudest group and produce statements like "men are lonely because women are raising standards" or "all men are insensitive women beaters". Women try to find happy healthy relationships and they are seen as harsh, unreasonable and judgy. Men try to find happy healthy relationships and they are seen as harsh, unreasonable and judgy. We've been stuck in this horrible cycle for 3-4 generations now and it's time everyone act like civilized creatures.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
If they are harsh, unreasonable, and judgy, they aren't looking for a healthy relationship. They are looking to be the dictator of the couple or a small family. That's the whole problem. They aren't happy till the woman serves them like a slave with no opposing opinions, and socially, the man being in control and the woman being second class was seen as healthy. Society is slow learning and doesn't like change, sadly. Equality is slowly balancing though.
Eric Garcia 2 years ago
Seems like the harpies celebrating the good news make it sound like ALL single men are misogynist abusers.
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Maybe instead of meeting women in places people go to get laid you should search less s**t-infested areas? I mean, you can't seriously judge all women on the earth by "girls gone wild" settings. Gotta admit though, having a cranky judgemental cynic take a vow of celibacy doesn't sound like a huge loss.
Load More Replies... Juanjo 2 years ago
again? seriously? is this all you have? you must be a sex-master. everyone is a virgin except you. and somehow, the amount of sex you have, gives you a better knowledge of life, and the right to say what is right and wrong in life. please teach me. please be my master. please marry me!!!!
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
We don't have to have sex with any one you incel. Men with that mentality ARE the problem! If men are emotionaly available, kind hearted, trust worthy, and enjoyable company (aka, we click together) we will WANT sex. You can take a long walk off a short peir if you think any one HAS to have sex with you. Jeezus fing christ! What the hell is wrong with you?
Load More Replies... Ladytron 2 years ago
You miss the point don't you? The point is not to act the "nice guy"-act and be rewarded with sex. The point is wanting a compatible life partner with who you can share life and have true intimacy with. It isn't supposed to be a sacrifice to get what you want. It is to create a dynamic relationship that both of you can be happy and evolve in. You can't be a life partner if you lack communication and emotional skills. It's the basics. And the whole "women don't want sex"... sorry to say but they do (in general just as much as men as long as she can get pleasure from it too). I guess that's not with you if that's your experience.
K Y 2 years ago
You sound like a virgin and I'm sure all the women in your life hate you.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
It does sound like he's trying to cope and compensate, doesn't it?
Andrzej Nikolaevich 2 years ago
We are humans, not animals, shut up your b******t alphas and betas like we are all dogs
Load More Replies... LoudMansLover 2 years ago
She just spelled "adore" wrong, that's all. And we kind of should all be with partners that adore us. My husband and I still adore each other after all our years. :)
Load More Replies... Lee 2 years ago
REWARD???? Dude, first women are not prizes, they are people looking for a relationship and "what's in it for them" save a good partner. If you're looking a woman up and down and give her place medals in your mind the recommendation for therapy before a relationship is s good one for you.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
Wow. Bitter, judgemental, and cynical? I bet you get allll the girls /coughrunningandscreamingtogetaway/cough
Faith Love-robertson 2 years ago
Just looked at the data for male/female statistics and while there is a small difference in numbers for men to women in a very narrow age grouping - for the most part the numbers are fairly equal for men and women until later in life when numbers for women outnumber men.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Your account name literally has a social disease in it, so I think it’s more the women keeping YOU far away from them.
Load More Replies... Say What 2 years ago
Basic respect and division of work are insane standards? The fact that you can't do what you expect women to do is a you problem. Mood swings? Sounds like you force her to nag you to do what you should be doing without being told. My guess is you are the cause of the drama.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
The blatant misandry of Boredpanda means that your comment has no chance of being read sympathetically. If you were posting this as a woman about men then you'd get nothing but praise.
Say What 2 years ago
There was no misandry in the article. You can't play that card every time you read something you don't want to hear.
butt soup 2 years ago
although olivier's comment is nasty, becky has a point. look at the screenshots in the article again. a good handful say that they're sick of men & don't want anything to do with them anymore. a woman saying she never wants to interact with men because of personal experiences is met with support & understanding, but a man saying he never wants to interact with women because of personal experiences will be insulted & accused of misogyny. there ARE double standards, whether you want to acknowledge them or not. in my opinion, neither of these situations should be normalized; you don't need to date anyone if you don't want to, but if you find yourself resenting half the population, you need therapy. not encouragement to keep up the hatred, or insults for daring to feel the way you feel, but therapy to find a way to work past those negative emotions. but back on topic: if olivier's comment is misogynist, aren't the man-hating comments misandrist? the double standards aren't healthy.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
@Say What. Do you even bother to read a comment before responding to it? I didn't mention misandry in the article at all. If Oliver had been posting the *exact* same sentiments as 'Olivia' then there would be zero downvotes on it. Instead he will now be banned from commenting. How is this not misandry?
Vanja Vidovic 2 years ago
Dear boy, the article was written by a man, American psychologist Greg Matos.
Load More Replies... Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
He was probably too busy trying to justify toxic masculinity to read something like the author's name. XD
JB 2 years ago
I’m confused. In what way is good communication (which is a two-way street), emotional availability on both sides, and sharing common values detrimental to the man’s experience of a relationship?
Alicia GriffonLady 2 years ago
I suspect it makes them feel vulnerable? Big stronk man no like feel vulnr-able! Meanwhile the evolved ones are mostly in relationships and too content to get involved in squabbles like these or just too often quiet?
Iifa A. 2 years ago
So what I hear here is that you definitely have a type you go for. Wow. Can you not see it yourself? If all the dates you went out with asked about money, where you life, earn then you either are attracted to those type of people or you choose by the looks not by the brains. I have a friend who is hitting 40, he is a typical nice guy and he also doesn't get why he isn't in a relationship. Well I have told him he isn't a catch either, his money means nothing to a woman who is working, his inability to understand that he cannot dictate woman's clothes, style, food, work and outings. He thinks woman is there to serve his needs. So maybe if you looking for a partner look for someone who is similar to you, but if you're not willing to serve and spend money, then don't expect this from women. Who goes on a first date to a hotel? Prostitute? A man who wants sex before date? It seems you looking for someone with low standards, willing to spread for.you and disappear when you're done.
Load More Replies... Donnas back 2 years ago
Comment was to long so it got truncated read comect below first Alcohol and drugs. I enjoy a drink like anyone else, but I would like to have a GF without addictions or substance abuse. My first wife went that way, and it was heart breaking for me to see her slowing turn in to someone I couldn’t love anymore. You are correct girls you meet online and want you to pay for an expensive hotel are hookers. They get there cut from the hotel
Donnas back 2 years ago
Hi I'm back I got banned thanks to the downvotes :-) I’ll break down my reasoning. Must have a car, where I live you need a car, I have a bashed up ford focus 2011 with 340.000 on the clock I bought second had and a motor bike I bought in 2005, I love bikes. Must Have a Job. Because I have one and that’s how I survive. I the same way Women in general do not like no good bums and wouldn’t put up with a slob siting around all day nor do I. I don’t care what kind of job, just something so she is independent. Own living space, this goes with having a job and being able to look after yourself. If things go well after while we can move in together if it suits us. Would you date a guy that after two weeks is practically living with you English & Spanish. I live in Spain and a lot of my friends are Spanish and English It makes sensa that they wouldn’t like to have a GF get excluded because e of a language barrier. It is very difficult to be socialising and have to translate everything.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Probably because they’re young and stroke his…ego…so he falls for their lies. Hook, line, and sinker. And gets played every damn time. So yeah, if he looked for someone more appropriate for him, age-wise, appearance-wise, education-wise, income-wise, experience-wise, etc, he might find someone to spend what’s left of his life with. The “couple of single GF” he says he goes out with are probably paid by the service, and he’s lying when he says “sex is of [sic] the table”. It’s prepaid when he books the “dates”, because his CC # is stored on his account and is automatically charged.
Donnas back 2 years ago
You jump to conclusions fast!! One we worked together the end of the 90s at the time she came out as gay and lost her family and friends. At the time I had just broke up with my wife that had turned in to a cocaine/alcoholic addict. We have stayed close even over the years and still get together, her family is OK with her now. The other GF, lets call her Mary. we met walking the dogs on the beach about 8 years ago. Mary was in an abusive relationship for most of her life and just broken up when we met. It’s a long story but we help each other out emotionally and still talk a lot. She is in treatment and probably will be for a long time and does not trust men when it comes to sex, I know because we have talk about it. She probably will never trust anyone to be intimate. Now her kids have left for uni she is feeling down again so we met up when we can and just chat or go to some jazz or blues in the local bars.
Iifa A. 2 years ago
When you yourself have nothing to offer then it is unreasonable to expect another person of different position to look at you. I would never dream of going for successful rich man, as I am not okay with my partner spending time in corporate job, or away from family. Same as I wouldn't go for a man who is a doctor working 80+ hours a week or army man. These type of people need people who support their choices. I like my life simple, so I went for someone who shared same values. You can't go for someone who is highly educated, climbing heavily career ladder, rich and successful if you yourself don't have same lifestyle. Strong relationships are built on shared values and support not on money, looks, body or wallet weight. And it doesn't matter woman or man, as both need to pull their part. I wasn't my man's type, I was chubby and short, if id gone for looks I would be single, but he made me laugh and we clicked, we moved in few days after meeting and are onto year 14 soon.
Tracy 2 years ago
From this comment alone, I can tell you're not the nice guy you say you are.
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