That expression is priceless. That is a kid who stands firm on her principles. Good job!

Better than playing Kardashians.

Looking forward to the sequel to this.

Ain't a parent discalaimer here but I wholly approve of this message.

Dog: Mom! How could you just stand there and let them invade my private domain without even lifting a finger to stop them? I’m supposed to be your carpet critter, not them! Oh, the betrayal!

Hahaha, I can't think of a better time to explain the difference between stomach and uterus.

(Evil laugh)...welcome to parenthood

dont be shy....tell us what happened

So that’s why people said pets are better than children

Jokes aside, Parenting School is a must

Its been 8yrs. He hid the cyborg fact for 8yrs. Time to ask his family to beam him up.He's learnt enough and can't stand emotional humans.

Sure a case is enough?

If you can't take me on decaf, you don't deserve me on my coffee.

Genius.

Missing your socks all the time.

Wait till she starts playing "Jasons".

You had a baby that was never awake in the dark? And you dare complain!?

He's not wrong...

True really a cow makes its own steak 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Yep. This 100%

Smart Man.

Haha... I got one better... I just volunteered to help in your classroom.

The worst disease

Must be the only man to ever read instructions 🤣🤣👌👌

And their dad sounds like them so you say a casual greeting instead of a polite one

Oh thank God. I thought it was just me. Mom of 16, 12, 11, 9.

🤦‍♀️

Smart kid!

My OCD goes into overdrive when I watch the kids put the ornaments on the tree.

I remember being upset about this as a kid. My friend even got to be the BRIDESMAID at her parents' wedding yet mine didn't even think to invite me. In 1965. When I was minus 9.

I'll answer that for you kid. It means triumph, joy and glee. Oh and also the sadness of the chicken that was slaughtered only to be processed and included in 3% of the actual "chicken" nugget.

Not as bad as "Mom, why are you friendly to the woman you always call the Walmart Witch? "

Public bathroom in the smokies (smoky mountain s in tn USA for you abroad) and mother nature pays me a visit. The place is jammed with alot of turioust.... daughter screams "mommy your dying!" (She was only 3 and used the bathroom with me) My boyfriend (now husband) was laughing so hard I had to drive us off the mountain. Fml.

Yeah? Try being in a crowded after church brunch restaurant with your 3 y/o daughter when she loudly bursts out with, "Mommy do you still have your tampon"?

Or loudly singing your streaming passwords out loud randomly.

My daughter said I love you so much mummy (ahhh). I love you because you’re squishy here (left boob), here (right boob) and here (tummy). But I genuinely loved it because that’s how I want her to feel; that my soft body was once her home and will always be a place of peace for her.

The fabric...

Works for husbands too

Me breaking up a fight : Day 1- he looked at me and I don't want him to Lok at me. Day 2- I want to play with him and he don't want to play. Day 2950 - nurse I want to give back this kids and change it for puppies instead.

Early awareness of fractions... Encourage this child!

Nevermind the pouring, just take the bottle

Looks like you’ve got a budding entrepreneur there. Well, depending on exactly HOW she came into such a fortune, that is.

The most accurate description of “Eau de Bus” I’ve ever heard.

Dude just tell them it's dad tax. They understand. First time you inform them of it, they express outrage, and you just remind them they gotta pay bills for the roof, water, and wifi.

Cancel culture runs deep in this family.

ok but seriously %90 percent of what I eat at thanksgiving is bread

Need an ice?

My personal favorite moment was standing in court for a traffic violation, actually a Minor fix it ticket inspection . And my three year old sprang one of his at that time, chronic, horrible, gushing nosebleeds. ( He was fine we figured out, weak veins in his nose) I didn't have my big bag of kid stuff, because I knew the security wouldn't allow it. All I could do was whip off his white t-shirt and hold it to his nose, while talking to the judge. Judge was like "do you need a continuance?" " I spoke absolutely the truth. " Judge, let's just get this done, I really don't want to have to bring everyone back up in here again". The judge let me pay the bare minimum and gave me a month to do it. Thanks judge Riley, you are a sweetie!

Hey, the front of Macy’s is the jewelry, makeup, and perfume sections, so he told you that you smell good. Take. The. Compliment.

That's the worst insult in my house at the moment. If I hear someone calling the other baby, I better run to stop the fight.

I can imagine my dad saying this

My 17 year old refers to me as "bruh" or "dude". It's actually pretty hilarious.

And your shirt is a handkerchief/napkin/blank canvas to draw on (usually in indelible ink), as well.