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Pizza Delivery Girl Recalls 32 Of The Most Memorable Customers She Had Served And You Simply Can’t Make This Stuff Up

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Everyone loves the pizza delivery person! I mean, they turn up right there on your doorstep with a steaming circle of cheesy deliciousness, saving you any effort aside from getting up from the couch, all that's left to do is enjoy. What's not to like?

This benevolent bearer of good vibes often gets a unique insight into the everyday lives of ordinary people - we tend to order pizzas when we are relaxed, happy and having a good time. Tumblr user Tybaar realized that her job yielded an absolute goldmine of great stories, and decided to share them with the internet. We are so glad she did!

From stoned teens to lesbians tipping with giant sacks of pistachios, you just never know what kind of hungry soul is going to answer that door. Scroll down to check out this pizza delivery woman's weird and wonderful experiences for yourself, and let us know what you think in the comments!

Image credits: rick (not the actual photo)Image credits: tybaar

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#1

"A hotel room full of badass middle-aged women all dressed as Professor McGonagall from the Harry Potter films, who were also completely wasted on Jello shots. They kept encouraging me to stay and party with them."

Final score:

135points

Bredan TheGreat 5 years ago

Oh man this sounds great

45points

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#2

"An adorable older lesbian couple who were mortified that they didn’t have any extra money for a tip, so they gave me a big sack of pistachios instead. It took me three weeks to finish the bag."

Final score:

119points

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

That' s nice

47points

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#3

"An incredibly stoned teenager trying and failing to look sober. When I complimented his Adventure Time wallet (which was super cute) and asked where he got it, he immediately looked terrified, sat down on the floor and muttered: “I… I don’t know….”

Final score:

93points

A B C 5 years ago

Stoned people trying to act sober are hilarious!

50points

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#4

"A group of EMT’s hanging out in the back of an ambulance at a recently extinguished (but still smoldering) house fire."

Final score:

90points

Bredan TheGreat 5 years ago

I would be proud to give them a pizza

38points

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#5

"At least three Batmans so far, but only one who did the voice."

Final score:

87points

Orillion 5 years ago

The other 2 were not even trying.

37points

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#6

"A furious lady who yelled at me for a solid five minutes (I kept track) all about how long it took for her delivery to get to her. She then tipped me an extra ten bucks on a six dollar order. I dunno."

Final score:

87points

A B C 5 years ago

First lesson of every customer-related business: people are weird.

58points

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#7

"Multiple prank deliveries (joke’s on you motherf***er, I get paid for the gas AND I eat the pizzas you ordered.)"

Final score:

86points

Bredan TheGreat 5 years ago

I didn't know they ate the pizza. Now that I think about it: duh

42points

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#8

"A group of 20-something guys who challenged me to sing the original Pokemon theme song, which I did. And perfectly, I may add."

Final score:

80points

Daria B 5 years ago (edited)

Original? Like the 1st Japanese opening of the 1st series? (Yep! Nitpicking. Anyway, I would sing them the Italian one. VIVA I POKEMON, TOOOOOSTI E PROROMPEEEEENTI, TUUUUUTTI DIFFEREEEEENTI, GOOOOOTA CATCH 'EM AAAAAAALL (CATCH 'EM! CATCH 'EM! CATCH 'EM!) ♬♪♥)

20points

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#9

"An elderly Spanish woman who meekly presented me with a (rather classy) pearl-handled .32 snub-nosed revolver and asked if I knew how to load it (I do) and also, if I could load it for her (I didn’t)."

Final score:

79points

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

You did well....

48points

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#10

"Obligatory naked man with an unimpressive penis."

Final score:

78points

A B C 5 years ago

Why? Why do people have to shove things into other peoples' faces that they really, really don't want to see?

50points

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#11

"An on-duty cop who flagged me down by intercepting me on the road before I got to the police station and pulling me over to get his pizza."

Final score:

74points

A B C 5 years ago

"Officer, we have a 10-34, I repeat, a 10-34, the pizza is on the run!"

48points

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#12

"A man with a thick Alabama accent who admonished me for standing in front of his mailbox while I waited for him to answer the door. He then explained how this was a federal offense because I was “obstructing the mail system” and demanded my social security number so he could “report me to the proper authorities."

Final score:

72points

A B C 5 years ago

What the actual eff. Did you tell him that he was "obstructing the pizza delivery system" by delaying you?

73points

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#13

"A guy who slipped a twenty directly into my shirt because I apparently was the “spitting image” of his deceased daughter."

Final score:

69points

Iggy 5 years ago

Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod!

57points

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#14

"A surly Korean mom with an amazing shoulder tattoo of a baby giving birth to a full-grown woman."

Final score:

69points

Iggy 5 years ago

That tattoo sounds hideous!

44points

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#15

"A woman who slipped me a business card (in lieu of tip) for a laser tattoo removal clinic, explaining “In case you want to bring your mutilated skin back to how God intended it to be.”

Final score:

63points

Craptavaganza 5 years ago

What a b*tch!

82points

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#16

"A man who lived in one of those mini-mansions inside a gated community, who sported a seemingly massive collection of what appeared to be solid glass spheres of varying size and color. I only got a quick glance in his house but there had to be hundreds of them in display racks, tables, shelves - everywhere."

Final score:

60points

Neon Petra 5 years ago

Kinda cool.

22points

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#17

"A 20-something dude who answered the door with an unsheathed katana dangling through a belt loop on his jeans."

Final score:

53points

A B C 5 years ago

Was he dressed in green, did he have a turtle mask laying around?

43points

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#18

"A very drunk dude who gave me his iPhone and had me take a bunch of Myspace-esque pictures of the both of us. He did the duck lips thing in every shot."

Final score:

53points

Sasy 5 years ago

You are his Canadian girlfriend now

31points

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#19

"A chick at a house party who answered the door and immediately turned to vomit into her mailbox."

Final score:

53points

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

fresh air is sometimes toxic :-)

28points

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#20

"A woman who admonished me for driving a Mazda, and wrote “get a real car” in the tip portion of my credit receipt."

Final score:

51points

Carol Emory 5 years ago

Tell her if she pays for it, you'll drive it.

62points

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#21

"A kid no older than 14 who desperately tried to convince me to play WoW on the free custom server he was playing on. (But it has double XP!)"

Final score:

51points

AP 5 years ago

wow! double xp! And if that really mattered, there are servers that offer 7x!

13points

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#22

"A group of young teenage girls (like 14-16) who begged me to buy a case of Bud Light (ew why) and bring it back to them."

Final score:

50points

ADHORTATOR 5 years ago

Bud Light is not considered as beer in civilized countries :-)

63points

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#23

"Multiple instances of people asking if I would sell them pot. (Bi**h get your own dealer sheesh)."

Final score:

49points

A B C 5 years ago

German movie "Lammbock", anyone?

11points

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#24

"A woman who angrily demanded to see my ID because she refused to believe my claims that I’m female. She proceeded to snatch my driver’s license out of my hand, run back into her house and show it to her children while pointing back at me."

Final score:

49points

Iggy 5 years ago

Wow! What a cow!

65points

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#25

"A bearded man who answered the door and periodically spat blood into a crusted Harley-Davidson coffee mug while counting out his cash."

Final score:

46points

Demi Zwaan 5 years ago

Wasn't that just chew tobacco?

38points

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#26

"A dudebro wearing a bath robe and socks + sandals (indoors) who straight up wordlessly yanked the pizzas out of my hands without paying and shut the door. Multiple knockings were of no avail."

Final score:

46points

A B C 5 years ago

That's theft, call the cops.

74points

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#27

"A drill instructor looking-guy who filled out his entire credit card receipt, specifically wrote “0.00” in the tip portion, then proceeded to write out a check for seventy-eight cents and handed it to me. It said “pizza tip” in the “For” section."

Final score:

45points

Foxxy 5 years ago

Don’t spend it all at once.

33points

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#28

"An elderly man who wrote “F**K OFF” as his signature on a credit receipt."

Final score:

43points

Iggy 5 years ago

Some people grow old but never grow up! :-D

36points

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#29

"A thirty-something guy who begged to get his order for free because he “works so hard”. He visibly teared up and sniffled when I told him I couldn’t do anything."

Final score:

38points

jaysko 5 years ago

Wha?? Literally while you are currently working ? What an a*s

22points

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#30

"A guy who spent the entire time I was there digging a (impressively large) booger out of his nose. He proceeded to smear it on, thankfully, HIS copy of the receipt."

Final score:

35points

A B C 5 years ago

Yuck.

26points

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#31

"An elderly guy who deadpan asked me if I knew anyone who could score him hollowpoint bullets."

Final score:

33points

A B C 5 years ago

She knows where the pizza comes from, so she must know where to get bullets, too. Question is, in what country are they?

21points

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#32

"A completely iced-out musclebound gangster kid who was blaring Regina Spektor so loud and with so much bass I actually couldn’t hear anything he was saying."

Final score:

31points

Bluebell Rizzi 5 years ago

They made a statue of us...

7points

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Mindaugas Balčiauskas

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

James Caunt

James is a Bored Panda reporter who graduated with a BA in Peace And Conflict Studies and an MA in African Affairs. Before Bored Panda, he was an English teacher and also travelled a lot, doing odd jobs from beer-slinging to brickie's labourer and freelance journalism along the way. James loves covering stories about social and environmental issues and prefers to highlight the positive things that unite us, rather than petty internet squabbles about fictional characters. James is the grumpy, contradictory one who thinks that Bored Panda, due to its large audience, has a social responsibility to inspire and inform its readers with interesting issues and entertaining, well-researched stories. Let's do our bit to make our little corner of the internet a smarter, more truthful and less angry place!

James is a Bored Panda reporter who graduated with a BA in Peace And Conflict Studies and an MA in African Affairs. Before Bored Panda, he was an English teacher and also travelled a lot, doing odd jobs from beer-slinging to brickie's labourer and freelance journalism along the way. James loves covering stories about social and environmental issues and prefers to highlight the positive things that unite us, rather than petty internet squabbles about fictional characters. James is the grumpy, contradictory one who thinks that Bored Panda, due to its large audience, has a social responsibility to inspire and inform its readers with interesting issues and entertaining, well-researched stories. Let's do our bit to make our little corner of the internet a smarter, more truthful and less angry place!

What do you think ?

Carol Emory 5 years ago

Keep those stories coming! Those are entertaining and really sad all at the same time.

14points

Ceredwyn Ealanta 5 years ago

I did pizza delivery ages ago for a janky place that did not pay petrol - only got the delivery price and tips, so if people did not tip, I lost money. Stoners tip really well. Sometimes they tip so well you gently hand them back the tip and suggest they break it. Once saw a dude who was the spitting image of Lurch from the Addams Family. About seven feet tall, hollow cheeks, chalk skin, with an air of melancholic doom. He also tipped well, come to think of it, but I sort of expect the Addams Family would? I had a guy who ordered pizza set his dog on me when I knocked on the door. It was a giant damn dog. He then screamed in rage as I headed off because I threw the pizza at his dog and his dog ruined it.

9points

S. 5 years ago

Adventures Of The Pizza Girl sounds like a good comic book! In fact, this story was the woman that inspired me to write a short horror story about a pizza delivery girl. Like the brilliant writer I am, I ended up procrastinating that project.

7points

AloofFox 5 years ago

It’s the procrastination that proves you’re a true brilliant writer!

2points

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Carol Emory 5 years ago

Keep those stories coming! Those are entertaining and really sad all at the same time.

14points

Ceredwyn Ealanta 5 years ago

I did pizza delivery ages ago for a janky place that did not pay petrol - only got the delivery price and tips, so if people did not tip, I lost money. Stoners tip really well. Sometimes they tip so well you gently hand them back the tip and suggest they break it. Once saw a dude who was the spitting image of Lurch from the Addams Family. About seven feet tall, hollow cheeks, chalk skin, with an air of melancholic doom. He also tipped well, come to think of it, but I sort of expect the Addams Family would? I had a guy who ordered pizza set his dog on me when I knocked on the door. It was a giant damn dog. He then screamed in rage as I headed off because I threw the pizza at his dog and his dog ruined it.

9points

S. 5 years ago

Adventures Of The Pizza Girl sounds like a good comic book! In fact, this story was the woman that inspired me to write a short horror story about a pizza delivery girl. Like the brilliant writer I am, I ended up procrastinating that project.

7points

AloofFox 5 years ago

It’s the procrastination that proves you’re a true brilliant writer!

2points

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