Dad Expects Kid To Forgive 20 Years Of Abuse Because He’s “Changed”, They Tell It Like It Is

Severing ties with someone who’s wronged you is a deeply personal decision that, chances are, not many people will understand.

Take this Redditor, for instance; u/Acron98, after over two decades of abuse, decided to cut their father out completely. Years later, after receiving professional help, it was said that the man was doing better – however, the netizen stood by their decision, which provoked their family to fabricate a congratulations message for their dad’s birthday. Upon finding out, the OP didn’t hold back, dropped a truth bomb, and got blasted for “living in the past.” 

Person cuts contact with their father who abused the entire family for over two decades

The man gets help and reconciles with his wife and his other children – however, the netizen stands by their decision

“AITA for not wanting to talk to my dad even though he got mental help and then making him cry for telling the truth on his birthday?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if it was indeed a jerk move to set the record straight after finding out their family sent a fake birthday message from them to their once-abusive dad. The post managed to garner nearly 6K upvotes as well as 839 comments discussing the situation.

Did you know that according to a 2021 piece from Statista – a leading provider of market and consumer data that consolidates statistical data on over 80K topics – in that year, in the United States, 132,363 children were abused by their fathers? 

There are a plethora of factors that could contribute to parental abuse; for example, individuals who’ve endured abuse themselves might subject their offspring to the same behavior, substance abuse, and as in today’s story’s case – mental health issues. Stress, poor parenting skills, and perhaps even unrealistic expectations folks hold about their kids, the non-accomplishment of which can lead to maltreatment. Whatever it is, these are some common examples – however, it’s vital to note that not one reason can justify such actions!

Physical abuse, emotional, sexual, verbal, or plain neglect – abuse has many forms and many intensities, the escape from which many can only find by cutting their abusers out. 

Yes, even though sometimes it’s hard to believe, people do change! Yet, it’s the victim’s liberty to decide whether they want to forgive or forget. Some people can’t comprehend how one is able to cut off their own family member, but it’s all pretty straightforward: most of the time, it’s necessary to finally be at peace. 

It’s an intimate decision that no one has the right to judge, let alone sabotage by fabricating congratulations messages and whatnot. 

They later find out that their family faked a birthday message from them to their dad. They flip out and set the record straight

Speaking about fabricating things, the author of this r/AmITheA**hole post recently had to blow off some steam on their relatives – who completely disregarded their wish concerning their father and went behind their back – hoping to set the record straight once and for all. 

The thing is, their dad is an ex-abuser who kept the entire family on edge for over 20 years. Stuff got pretty bad, and the parents lost custody of their five children, resulting in their grandparents adopting them. Over a decade later, the grandparents died, the OP’s mom went back to her spouse, and all of the siblings also found a way to reconcile with their pa. 

Upon the passing of his parents, the dad in question finally decided to get professional help, where he eventually got treated for bipolar disorder and the severe PTSD he acquired from the army. Since then, it was said that the man was doing much better and was overall a completely changed person.

Nevertheless, the Redditor didn’t want to have anything in common with their parent and decided to cut contact – however, their loved ones weren’t in awe of their choice and proceeded to guilt-trip them into speaking to him. 

Now, fast forward to the man’s 70th birthday party that the netizen, of course, refused to attend; the OP’s fam made up a story in order to not upset the birthday boy and said that his child was on vacation abroad, but here’s the screwed-up part – they sent him a picture of the OP and their boyfriend alongside a congratulations message. 

Upon learning the truth, u/Acron98 immediately called up their sibling and demanded to be put on speaker, where they clarified the matter and called their relatives out on being fakes. 

Surprise, surprise, they got blasted for leaving their father in tears and earned the moniker of the biggest jerk. 

What is your take on this rather delicate story? 

Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation