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Dad Expects Kid To Forgive 20 Years Of Abuse Because He’s “Changed”, They Tell It Like It Is
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Dad Expects Kid To Forgive 20 Years Of Abuse Because He’s “Changed”, They Tell It Like It Is

Dad Expects Kid To Forgive 20 Years Of Abuse Because He’s “Changed”, They Tell It Like It IsPerson Gets Dubbed A Jerk For Spilling The Truth To Their Once-Abusive FatherPerson Ends Up Being Called A Jerk For Telling Their Abusive Father Exactly How They FeelFamily Pulls A Sneaky Move On This Person And Fakes Birthday Wishes To Their Once-Abusive Dad‘Changed’ Father Seeks Forgiveness After 20 Years Of Abuse, Kid Takes None Of ItFamily Goes Behind This Person’s Back To Fake Birthday Wishes To Their Once-Abusive DadFamily Does This Person Dirty By Faking Bday Message From Them To Their Once-Abusive DadDad Expects Kid To Forgive 20 Years Of Abuse Because He’s “Changed”, They Tell It Like It IsDad Expects Kid To Forgive 20 Years Of Abuse Because He’s “Changed”, They Tell It Like It IsDad Expects Kid To Forgive 20 Years Of Abuse Because He’s “Changed”, They Tell It Like It Is
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Severing ties with someone who’s wronged you is a deeply personal decision that, chances are, not many people will understand.

Take this Redditor, for instance; u/Acron98, after over two decades of abuse, decided to cut their father out completely. Years later, after receiving professional help, it was said that the man was doing better – however, the netizen stood by their decision, which provoked their family to fabricate a congratulations message for their dad’s birthday. Upon finding out, the OP didn’t hold back, dropped a truth bomb, and got blasted for “living in the past.” 

More info: Reddit

Person cuts contact with their father who abused the entire family for over two decades

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo) 

The man gets help and reconciles with his wife and his other children – however, the netizen stands by their decision

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo) 

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo) 

Image source: u/Acron98

AITA for not wanting to talk to my dad even though he got mental help and then making him cry for telling the truth on his birthday?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if it was indeed a jerk move to set the record straight after finding out their family sent a fake birthday message from them to their once-abusive dad. The post managed to garner nearly 6K upvotes as well as 839 comments discussing the situation.

Did you know that according to a 2021 piece from Statistaa leading provider of market and consumer data that consolidates statistical data on over 80K topics – in that year, in the United States, 132,363 children were abused by their fathers? 

There are a plethora of factors that could contribute to parental abuse; for example, individuals who’ve endured abuse themselves might subject their offspring to the same behavior, substance abuse, and as in today’s story’s case – mental health issues. Stress, poor parenting skills, and perhaps even unrealistic expectations folks hold about their kids, the non-accomplishment of which can lead to maltreatment. Whatever it is, these are some common examples – however, it’s vital to note that not one reason can justify such actions!

Physical abuse, emotional, sexual, verbal, or plain neglect – abuse has many forms and many intensities, the escape from which many can only find by cutting their abusers out. 

Yes, even though sometimes it’s hard to believe, people do change! Yet, it’s the victim’s liberty to decide whether they want to forgive or forget. Some people can’t comprehend how one is able to cut off their own family member, but it’s all pretty straightforward: most of the time, it’s necessary to finally be at peace. 

It’s an intimate decision that no one has the right to judge, let alone sabotage by fabricating congratulations messages and whatnot. 

They later find out that their family faked a birthday message from them to their dad. They flip out and set the record straight

Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko  (not the actual photo) 

Speaking about fabricating things, the author of this r/AmITheA**hole post recently had to blow off some steam on their relatives – who completely disregarded their wish concerning their father and went behind their back – hoping to set the record straight once and for all. 

The thing is, their dad is an ex-abuser who kept the entire family on edge for over 20 years. Stuff got pretty bad, and the parents lost custody of their five children, resulting in their grandparents adopting them. Over a decade later, the grandparents died, the OP’s mom went back to her spouse, and all of the siblings also found a way to reconcile with their pa. 

Upon the passing of his parents, the dad in question finally decided to get professional help, where he eventually got treated for bipolar disorder and the severe PTSD he acquired from the army. Since then, it was said that the man was doing much better and was overall a completely changed person.

Nevertheless, the Redditor didn’t want to have anything in common with their parent and decided to cut contact – however, their loved ones weren’t in awe of their choice and proceeded to guilt-trip them into speaking to him. 

Now, fast forward to the man’s 70th birthday party that the netizen, of course, refused to attend; the OP’s fam made up a story in order to not upset the birthday boy and said that his child was on vacation abroad, but here’s the screwed-up part – they sent him a picture of the OP and their boyfriend alongside a congratulations message. 

Upon learning the truth, u/Acron98 immediately called up their sibling and demanded to be put on speaker, where they clarified the matter and called their relatives out on being fakes. 

Surprise, surprise, they got blasted for leaving their father in tears and earned the moniker of the biggest jerk. 

What is your take on this rather delicate story? 

Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation

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Darja Zinina

Darja Zinina

Writer, Community member

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Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

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Darja Zinina

Darja Zinina

Writer, Community member

Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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Hphizzle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a former mental health counselor, one of the major focuses of therapy is taking responsibility for how your issues may have affected your loved ones. Accepting that while you may be making huge changes, you need to let those you hurt come to you on their own terms, if they choose to do it at all. Communicate that you’re open to reconciling, but then let it go. OP is 100% in the right to go NC. Keep up those amazing boundaries OP!

Ron Baza
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“ Now all my extended relatives think I am a huge b\*tch”. Well, there’s a simple solution. You should never judge anyone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So each of them can be beaten, badly, on a daily basis, for a couple of decades. And then they can call the OP whatever they like. Or they can shut up.

Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He took time to heal. So you're entitled to do the same. No one set a deadline on him, so they can't put one on you, either.

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Hphizzle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a former mental health counselor, one of the major focuses of therapy is taking responsibility for how your issues may have affected your loved ones. Accepting that while you may be making huge changes, you need to let those you hurt come to you on their own terms, if they choose to do it at all. Communicate that you’re open to reconciling, but then let it go. OP is 100% in the right to go NC. Keep up those amazing boundaries OP!

Ron Baza
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“ Now all my extended relatives think I am a huge b\*tch”. Well, there’s a simple solution. You should never judge anyone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So each of them can be beaten, badly, on a daily basis, for a couple of decades. And then they can call the OP whatever they like. Or they can shut up.

Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He took time to heal. So you're entitled to do the same. No one set a deadline on him, so they can't put one on you, either.

Load More Comments
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