I worked with a couple of those. They outed each other when 2 tried to not pay at all on a group lunch and the money handed in even with tips wouldn't cover the bill. They both shame faced, muttered they were confused and handed over their money. The shits.

When the server takes your order, "Mine is on a separate check. I'll have a cheeseburger and a coke, please."

I love that they were pissed because it was more than they expected to pay, yet less than they ordered... well played by op...

NTA. That mess pìssed me off royally when I went out with certain people in a group. Each and every damned time, the rest of us ended up covering their portion of the bill. This was at a time when I worked in retail, so my funds were limited. Unless I was informed ahead of time that my portion would be covered, I will take a pass on going out to eat if I didn't have enough money. It's the only decent thing to do. OP made the right move in removing himself from being victimized yet again. Also, it's pretty obvious that his friendship with Dan has run its course. He would be better off hanging with the other two friends; his wallet could use a break.

In South Africa they don't do separate bills either, but you just grab the pen and your phone and work out what you owe. It's not that hard. Then when the waitron comes you just hold up your card and go, "R215 on this one," "R180 on this one," etc. Done.

Wait. Dan says, please come along. You do. But you won't play the game. Then Dan says, you didn't have to come??? This ain't friendship... this is dysfunction junction. Good luck with that. Derp!

I don't need friends that bad.

We went out with a couple like these once, after that we always asked for a separate check. They didn't like it but I sure as hell was not paying for their 5 g&ts, 2 bottles of wine & 6 pints!

The most repellent one in this story is Dan, as he invited OP *specifically* so OP would help with the bill! 🤬 The two mooches are only sightly less repellent; they’re upfront about taking advantage of their “friends.” I’m shocked they still have anyone to eat with! I remember once eating with a big group and one guy ordered something crazy off the menu that cost more than four times what the rest of our entrées cost, so when the bill came, I announced that the average entrée was $X so I was only contributing enough to cover the same percentage of their meal as I was paying for everyone elses’s. Everyone seemed to be cool with that, but then every single person there was absurdly wealthy (except for me!), so it’s not as if it was a problem for anyone anyway. In the end, one guy paid the entire bill himself, so my stand was for nothing and I’d gotten kinda panicky needlessly, though I spose they all got the message that I’m not a pushover.

I had a friend whose meal came to three times the cost of mine. I was a student, he was working. He suggested splitting the bill (a group, not just us) and I simply said, "sorry, I can't afford to do that yours is so much more than mine, can we play for what we ordered", and everyone said yes. And we paid the bill. Why couldn't he just speak to them?

Inviting friend has no right to be mad, cuz he said he didn't want to go but he insisted. Nobody to blame but himself.

Ohhhhh these people are such jerks and I would have come to a screeching halt to this a long time ago. If I can't afford it I just don't go. I think it's great that 2 of the friends wised up, got up and cancelled their food orders. Dan shouldn't be mad at this guy and now hopefully the 2 a******s will only order what they can afford or stay home from now on. There have been times that I have been out of company dinners to places that I have never been to and were surprised at the prices and unlike others ordered the cheapest thing that I liked. Some of them also ordered several drinks at one place.

I had this happen to me once when I went to eat with some work friends. Somehow I ended up paying 25 dollars more than what I ordered. That was the only time I went out with them. When they asked me again I told them I was busy. I'm not going to let people continually use me and I don't care what they think. I would tell them straight up find some other sucker and leave me alone.

Despite your claim of being petty , clearly the other 2 friends saw right through the issue, too. You didn't put him or anyone in a spot. This is what being an enabler is. Those 2 have issues and it's not being broke. They like to, sap friends dry. Leaches in effect. Your friend sounds like a great , big hearted friend, don't just allow him to run into bankruptcy. Remind him of the history of those 2 and how you hoped he would catch on. Everything you said in your story. Maybe you need to not be so gentle and push more honesty. You may have tried but hey you all knew those 2 are just moochers. If they're gonna crash and burn well it's time to let them.

If this is a recurring thing then why are those two still being invited? I would guess that the others in the group feel the same way.

Etiquette, while making life easier, can also be a stick with which people try to beat you to death. Firmly say "This will be a separate check please'. No arguments, no fuss. If you want a $200 meal, then pay for it. Most people are afraid to say anything, but it is important that you call people on unacceptable behavior. I had to pay for my brother's scrapes. When he told me he needed a thousand, he had a family to support, that was it, I was done. I told him that he did indeed, so he better get a job. They always think you will not call them on this game. They did not even eat it all. People do not respect you who treat you like a chump. Your friend is not much of a friend if your presence was necessary to defray their costs of dining at a level they cannot afford. Definitely send that email chain to the other parties. Your friend is enabling them. Fine. But he is forcing the rest of you to help. You are NTA, find new friends.

Time for new friends. REAL ones.

From the first time, why didn't anyone point this out? At restaurants, I order according to my small budget, if someone asks to split the bill equally, I always say no, I pay for what I ate. It's also OP and others' fault for not speaking up sooner

I really don't understand splitting the bill. It's not something my friends and I ever did. Generally the waitperson will ask if it's on one bill or separate at the beginning. The only time it's all on one bill is if one person is paying for everyone.

Was this even real? Who doesn't confront people who are having financial hardships regularly, when they order the most expensive things they can? The first time should have been the last time!

I don't understand why people are such spineless weenies. If it were ME I would have straight told the two greediest that nobody is chipping in or splitting and whatever they order from now on is what they will pay for. All of it. The other good option is to tell them to their face the gig is up and no further invites will be extended to them from the group.

NTA. They are definitely the assh$le trying to get other people to pay for their meals. Dan should’ve called them out on that a long time ago.

These people are not yours or anyone else's "friends." They're gigantic, walking pieces of sh!t. They will continue to take advantage of anyone they possibly can until the day they fall over dead. Do yourself a favor and cut off the scum.

NTA -however, you should have told the table before everyone ordered that you would only pay for your own drinks. If the entitled leeches have always gotten away with it in the past, they would have no reason to think this time would be any different. Obviously they are the AHs, but you could have avoided some of this by being honest upfront.

Totally normal in Canada to splut bills, to the point that even we as a married couple are always asked if it will be separate or together - staff never assume.

In Australia most places have itemised bills so everyone pays their set amount. I refuse to split a bill equally when people order expensive dishes and a few cocktails etc. How does anyone think this is fair? These days, though, there’s the apps at a lot of restaurants so you just scan your table code and order and pay online for your own stuff.

This is odd for Australians. Splitting the bill is common. Even if places don't our banks and banking apps allow immediate small money transfers (under $1000).

This happened to me twice. The third time I told the server upfront before we ordered and let everyone hear that my was separate.

... my subconscious has just passed along a request from the back room where it lives - it would like a Q&A session with Dan. Think darkened room, spotlit chair, Dan in chair.

Odd that no one noticed the use of the word college instead uni. Also Miller lite? OP claims to be Australian. It's a reddit karma farming post. A creative writing exercise. OP is TA for a fake story