I'm willing to bet that the oldest three, especially the oldest girl, are pressed into service as free babysitters all the time. That's the real reason the sister got miffed - she actually had to pay for a sitter instead of leaving it to her older kids to corral and watch the youngest.

it may have been God's will for her to have 10 kids, but evidently it wasn't God's will to have them invited to her sister's wedding.

Should have gone "no kids" or "no kids under age 12" on this one. I see the bride's point, and sympathise, adding 10 people to the budget may not be possible, but she is excluding only some of her niblings, and there will be hurt feelings as a result.

Might be unpopular opinion but if it wasn’t a child free wedding , not inviting all of her children was rather rude of her… at the end of the day, they are her children no matter how many she has… a better way would be to invite them all but talk to the sister and try to persuade her to leave some behind (in a nice way ;) ) due to budget… Weddings are expensive , if people still want to do them they have to consider things like tbat. I think op was being rather selfish and rude no matter the life choices of her sister

I don't know... Family is important, so I would have skimped on anything, even the decorations, to bring all my nieces with me. But on the other part the OP explained her reasons and the sister could have made an offer to pay for her children. The parents can stick their bullying up their own culo.

Isn't it customary that the wedding gift is at least as expensive as the costs for that one person? So let's say one guest costs the couple 200€. Just tell the sister that she can bring her other 7 children only if the wedding present will be worth additional 1400$. Then it is her decision if she wants to bring them or not.

Religion made you have 10 kids? Probably one of those quiverfull loons then.

Sister should have enjoyed the chance to leave her little ones at home and socialize with adults. Bet her kids didn't care that they couldn't go.

The sister is a delusional entitled cumdumpster with splooge goblins. Just end it with her. What do you even owe her any relationship anyways. And don't say dna

NTA, whilst it may have been easier to make the wedding child-free, that would have definitely excluded the other sister's only child and the groom's nephew. Rather than viewing this as young children excluded, it would be better to view this as three eldest offspring allowed. But what if the 17yo wasn't interested in attending but the 10yo was, would OP have been clear her suggestion on who to bring was flexible? It is also unclear whether OP's comment that if Dawn had covered some of the cost was actually relayed to Dawn - just because OP had said all your 10 kids is over our budget does not mean that Dawn heard 'but if you can subsidise the costs for the others, you can still bring them'. Seven kids would be a lot of babysitter costs, unless other family were helping out whilst they attended, so Dawn likely had to pay something out anyway. Having said that, two parents, even with the assistance of 3 teens, keeping an eye on that many children in at a wedding...what could go wrong?

If the Op's sister felt that offended then she should have told her sister she wasn't coming. Wedding costs alot of money even a small one. Not to mention small children don't care about weddings. They want to laugh and play and that's usually noisy. The sister has no problem kicking dirt on her own family member, something she thinks her sister has done to her. Her faith is Christain, what happened to turning the other cheek? What happened to forgiveness? NTA is my 4 cents.

NTA. I can see inviting the 3 eldest, bc they are old enough to enjoy, behave, remember. They also don't need to be constantly monitored to make sure they're not causing destruction or getting hurt.

The sister is an a*****e first of all for having that many damn kids, second, the OP explained why she couldn't accommodate 12, people, but did the sister offer to contribute for her kids, of course not. She went on an unhinged rant, OP is def not the a*****e, people in the original post saying she was clearly didn't read the whole thing, or couldn't comprehend it..

to be fair, why would you have to pay for a full course meal for a 3yo? bring the kid, it shouldn't cost anyone anything, no?

I am hyper sensitive about imposing my family of 5 on people, even just for a visit.

If the parents want to complain, they can pay.

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A large part of the problem is in the way the OP describes the guest list: “We only invited close family members and friends”. If only the eldest three fit that description then, by the bride’s own definition, the other nieces and nephews must be considered neither close family , nor friends. I’m reasonably certain that this was not the message the bride wanted to send, but if her sister knows that’s how she’s been describing it, I’m not surprised at her reaction.

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I was siding w/ OP until she said others had brought small children. She's kinda YTAish for not thinking this past her budget concerns. She might've avoided this by setting an age limit ie: 16 yrs & over...for everyone. I get why her sister felt singled out & defensive but she's AHish for playing the martyr like she did.