Genuinely confused and scared guys? Confused and sacred about what? Boundaries? We are talking about common sense and plain human decency. There has to be verbal or physical consent meaning. If she is too drunk to stand or walk or talk properly she’s too drunk to give either one consent. If your putting your hands on someone or kissing someone who isn’t touching or kissing you back then duh...just stop. Don’t give me some men just are confused nonsense.

Really good point.

there is a massive line between mutual flirting and sexual abuse - sad that so many people dont know where to cross it

there are so many good guys - it truly is heartwarming

Cesi Baca, a human psyche is more complex than that. I know it from myself. Of course I know boundaries, but sometimes I become too self-aware I become scared in some social situations, scared that I might hurt somebody. And if I do make a mistake, even if the smallest, even if I know the others involved don't really care, it stays with me and torments me for years, if not decades to come. This kind of self-awareness applies to social situations in general, including flirting and any kind of interpersonal relationship. And you can feel this way regardless your gender. And the "don't"s can be very discouraging and confusing if not accompanied by a "do this instead" as a suggestion. This is where my reasoning comes from. In other words, I DO NOT defend the actions of perpetrators, I'm talking about the good guys who literally don't even try for the fear of hurting someone.

cannot believe Donald Trump is muscling in on this.

A judge ought not to get outraged when bring in a juridical role, even if accussed swlf and even if out of court. Period. As a European I can only be astonished how such a person is even considered for such a no le office. All politics notwithstanding.

Look up decorum. Then look at his own remarks in previous years on Clinton....

He's been the subject of hate speech? Give me a break. Go back to the rock you crawled out from.

90% of everything I can remember from 0-14yrs is being molested & raped. It started at 4/5 years old, with a friend of my parents coming into my room & making me sit on his lap and read a book. I don't know what made that sick bastard do it, or why I felt too afraid to call out, or ever tell my parents. It wasn't just him. It wasn't the only time. IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!!!! I DIDN'T BRING IT UPON MYSELF!!! By 7 I refused to ever wear a dress, skirt or shorts again. I keep seeing comments from women replying to #metoo posts saying "Well I never put myself in a position to let a man rape me", "Maybe if you didn't go to bars and dance with men you wouldn't have gotten assaulted/raped", or "If you weren't out at that hour it never would've happened". To the best of my knowledge I wasn't exactly a "party girl" at 4 years old!! Like you, this is the first time I've ever told anyone. Sorry the post is so long. I think I just needed to let it out finally.

It is time we all let it out - there must be so many of us holding memories inside that fester and make us so angry - angry at ourselves. I was sexually assaulted by a teacher - aged 13/14/15. I never told a soul other than discussed amongst schoolfriends who knew of others of the same age who had been subject to the same thing by the same teacher - none of us reported it. I feel guilty and angry now, not guilty for myself - as I had no choice at the time - but angry at the thought of all the other kids he must have gone on to do the same thing to over a long career

He was responsible. These men are sick. You are entirely innocent.

@Danielle - it beggars belief what men got away with back then. there was no helplines (if your house even had a phone) - you darent tell your parents. there was no-one to tell at such a young age. All adults were scary big people. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT - they were the sick ones with the problem.- not you. I hope it helped to let it out - I have been doing so for the past couple of weeks. My teacher even managed to inveigle himself into my house and my bedroom - age 15 - which was when I realised enough was enough

Diane, oh awful--that teacher. My god. None of this was every your fault, ever. He should be held accountable. I'm sorry this happened.

the thing that got my head together about my teacher - they were passing as my house was up for sale he expressed interest "oh Diane will show me round" - so I had to take this teacher on a tour of my home. once in my bedroom he was "hands everywhere" despite clutching a 1 yearold child in his other arm - this was MY home. I my space - was utterly disgusted by his behaviour at the same time his wife was chatting to my mum underneath my window

Dont be ashamed - wasnt your fault - you CAN get over it

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Hope you feel better for letting it out Danielle. You weren't to blame and the people saying those things are wrong. The only people at fault are the people doing the molesting and rape. The people making those comments are incredibly ignorant.

I hope you do. It's not your fault. Abusers make their victims believe it is, and society is not far behind. I hope you feel supported here.

thank you S - guess I may never absolve myself of responsibility - even though I had no memory and probably no choice at the time. But I think the #metoo issue has got people motivated to get this stuff out of their system anonymously - we hold onto it for too long and blame ourselves and it isnt healthy. I also underwent 9 years of severe domestic abuse , which has screwed me up more. thanks for caring -- Diane

I was utterly shocked by the attack by the teacher - most by the fact that he was in a position of trust at the time it never entered my mind to report him

and the #whyididntreport ls also preying on my mind

Took me a couple of years to decide my drink must have been spiked - the guy worked in London at the time so would have had access to that sort of thing to bring home to a small town. I cannot have been blackout drunk at 3am yet completely sober at 8am with no memory, GBH would be my guess as very short-acting

The teacher in question is now a respected retired headmaster in a different part of the country with family etc. Am angry at his behaviour, but not angry enough to instigate the destruction of his life. That said - if other allegations came up against him - I think I would speak up also

I'm glad you don't feel guilty about the incidents--the reporting, I know. I didn't. I thought no one would believe me. I thought I'd done something wrong. For one man, I didn't understand that it was abuse. Only now, years later, talking to women with the same stories, do I understand. I can't know now if I would've been believed then. I can only hope that it's different for women and girls now, and that we can teach and support them with our experiences now. It's also not too late to report--the statute of limitations has run out, but I wonder if the police would want to know...because if it happened to us, there are others for whom the statute has not run out--like the now thousands of new cases being made public for the Catholic church that date back decades.

It is so difficult - how bad was the incident - can you deal with it yourself? do you want to destroy a man's life by reporting it? My choice was to just bury it away at the time. If I could go back many years then I think I should have reported the teacher, although there were no safeguarding procedures at that time for us kids

Hello AJ, do you have someone you trust that you can talk to? That's a start. I also advise seeing a therapist.

if someone else had reported him i may have added my voice - but sadlt=y i would never have instigated it