ADVERTISEMENT

Moms and dads always want what’s best for their little ones, but navigating life as a parent is challenging. There are a million different books, podcasts, and mommy bloggers telling you the right and wrong ways of feeding your children, talking to them, and raising them in general, so making decisions for your kiddos can be stressful.

There’s no perfect way to parent, but recently, Reddit users have been sharing their two cents when it comes to what can be harmful for impressionable little minds. Below, you’ll find some common behaviors moms and dads do with the best of intentions that might actually backfire, so we hope this list provides some new perspectives for all of you parents and future parents. And be sure to upvote all of the answers that hit home for you.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Not taking the time to explain themselves on certain topics. The whole 'do as I say because I said so' or 'because I had you' is not effective.

LiteLit , Monstera Production Report

Final score:
100points
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#2

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Try to fill every minute with organized activities such as traveling sports leagues. Don't get me wrong, some extra curricular activities are good, but when your kids never have an unaccounted for minute I think it has a negative impact.

nothingbutM , Pixabay Report

Final score:
97points
Add photo comments
POST
rachel_raynor avatar
Rachknits
Rachknits
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely. It's really important that kids learn to do nothing and relax as well as learning how to manage unstructured time. If their whole life is timetabled, as adult they will find it really difficult to manage periods of less activity

Vote comment up
8
8points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#3

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Not apologize when they’re wrong

Mlaer7351 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:
94points
Add photo comments
POST
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#4

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) They fail at letting their kids fail and figure out how to recover. It prevents the kids from becoming resilient.

BS623-902 , Julia M Cameron Report

Final score:
93points
Add photo comments
POST
appletreechild avatar
FantasianMind
FantasianMind
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS! This is me! My mum ALWAYS stood behind me for assignments/studying for tests/other assignments and I had to learn how to fail and get back up again when I was 20!!!! I'm almost 30 now.... still have problems sometimes...

Vote comment up
17
17points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#5

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Not discussing money with them.

I'm not saying parents should dump their financial stress on their kids, but things like budgeting, taxes, and personal finance discussions would've helped me tremendously.

Particular-Natural12 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:
88points
Add photo comments
POST
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#6

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Over sheltering them. You can't protect your kids 24/7 for their whole lives. It leads to naive adults that get taken advantage of.

Chosen_of_Nerevar , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
87points
Add photo comments
POST
isabellelamarque avatar
Isabelle Lamarque
Isabelle Lamarque
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true. They had all the best intentions and love me so much but it didn't help me in a lot of ways. And the protection got worse when shot happened. My mom described it as watching your kid learn how to ride a bike but if your child keeps falling and falling you don't let go of that bike anymore.. only later we realized it was a two way street. We both needed to let go of each other.. At 27 my parents moved to France and it helped both me and them. Our bond got even closer but so much more qualitative and equal ❤️ I'm chronically ill now so she does come to Belgium every 6 weeks to help out a little but it's different. It's helping, not taking over 😅

Vote comment up
15
15points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#7

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Comparing them with other kids🤦

Physical-Gene-6427 , Alex Green Report

Final score:
87points
Add photo comments
POST
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#8

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Shouting at them instead of having a conversation

therapoootic , Monstera Production Report

Final score:
81points
Add photo comments
POST
aleksandarrobinson avatar
PlatinumThe8-BitCat
PlatinumThe8-BitCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happens with my dad a lot, if I’m struggling and not speaking or mumbling instead of being kind and friendly he’ll shout at me so I speak, which makes me even quieter, which is the main reason I don’t like talking to him

Vote comment up
12
12points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#9

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Might sound a little contradictory but either not disciplining them or disciplining them way too much

RandomRamblings99 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:
74points
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#10

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Passing on food issues by commenting on their children's weight or what they eat etc. Or commenting on their own weight and food habits-- always dieting and putting themselves down.

I am so lucky my parents and family have a healthy relationship with food, and thus I do as well. I have adult friends who have all kinds of messed up food issues precisely bc their parents messed them up.

profmoxie , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:
74points
Add photo comments
POST
appletreechild avatar
FantasianMind
FantasianMind
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TO THIS DAY. I tried a million times to tell my parents, that commenting on my weight, regardless of intention, makes me feel sick and terrible, because I know how I want to look and am trying to get there, but constant commentary discourages me sooooo much.

Vote comment up
26
26points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#11

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Telling them "That's nothing to be sad over, some kids don't even have ______"

Now I repress my feelings and cry whenever I have to let them out, never believing they're valid :)

tshirtbag , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:
73points
Add photo comments
POST
sahilislam avatar
Sahil Islam
Sahil Islam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here brother. I've held in every emotion of mine after 1 of my cats died and 3 were given away without my permission for 2yrs due to that.

Vote comment up
21
21points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#12

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Not encouraging them to learn basic skills like cooking for fear it’ll *MaKe a MeSs*

Bulky_Parsnip8 , Daria Obymaha Report

Final score:
72points
Add photo comments
POST
ilovecatz7 avatar
Nay Wilson
Nay Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No! Not a mess! Whatever shall we do when a child makes a mess? Um… clean it up? /s

Vote comment up
18
18points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#13

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Never telling them 'no'

Imnotsureanymore8 , Monstera Production Report

Final score:
71points
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#14

Treating sons and daughters differently.

SleepyKoalaBear4812 Report

Final score:
71points
Add photo comments
POST
jill_rhodry avatar
Jill Rhodry
Jill Rhodry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was the youngest and only girl - it was rarely 'but they're older than you' it was either 'because you're a girl' or 'but they're boys' 😠

Vote comment up
25
25points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#15

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) I'll add my two cents here, not seeking therapy for kids who are showing signs of depression or other mental issues because they think they are just "a little sad" or "he'll get over it"

RunningInAHurricane , Pixabay Report

Final score:
68points
Add photo comments
POST
jenjoyner avatar
Xenon
Xenon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was the way us older generations were raised. Thankfully I've seen some improvement in this area.

Vote comment up
18
18points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#16

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Yelling at them for dropping/breaking/spilling stuff.

Not their fault!

And way to teach them they can’t come to you when they accidentally f**k up in the future.

redhead_instead , EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA Report

Final score:
61points
Add photo comments
POST
professormcgonagallminerva avatar
Stardust she/her
Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My younger brother once broke a glass and my dad beat him so much that it had an effect on me which made me scared of dropping anything I’m holding

Vote comment up
16
16points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#17

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Putting excessive pressure on their children to meet their own unfulfilled aspirations.

mazamaka321 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
60points
Add photo comments
POST
hannahtaylor_2 avatar
DarkViolet
DarkViolet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No child should be forced to live out their parents' dreams and aspirations.

Vote comment up
16
16points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Forcing them to interact with their adult friends, then ridiculing them for not wanting to socialize with rando adults, and then humiliating them by bringing up an embarrassing moment as a "hilarious" anecdote.

*"Come on down and say hi!"*

*"OH, LOOK WHO FINALLY DECIDED TO JOIN US!"*

*"Oh, this is the funniest thing! Did you know she still wet her bed until she was six! Six! AHAHAAHAHAH!"*

Lady_von_Stinkbeaver , August de Richelieu Report

Final score:
59points
Add photo comments
POST
sahilislam avatar
Sahil Islam
Sahil Islam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why da floof do I wanna talk to people 40yrs older than me knowing I got no sht to say 💀

Vote comment up
22
22points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#19

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Not letting them learn how to mourn.

On a grander scale, there’s this idea of not letting your children suffer. We all know it’s important to let them struggle a little to learn how to cope.

But one no one ever talks about is allowing your child to mourn a loss. If a beloved toy breaks, go buy a replacement ASAP! If a pet fish dies, go buy a replacement ASAP! You’re teaching the kid to just replace things they’ve lost instead of processing the loss. So what happens when they lose something that can’t be replaced? They don’t know what to do or how to handle it. Like, let your kid cry over their dead fish for a few days and bury it in the garden with some flowers before asking if they’d like another.

People think it’s small, oh it’s just a toy, but losing a beloved toy is likely the closest thing a kid has to losing a person or a pet they’ve had for years like a dog. Let them learn to mourn their lost teddy bear so they’ll build those processes and when older, can mourn the family dog, etc.

Blessed_tenrecs , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:
56points
Add photo comments
POST
marshall_2 avatar
Marshall Levin
Marshall Levin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have had to cope with plenty of family deaths as a kid, and some have definitely been harder than others, but my mom and dad have always been there for me, and I am very grateful for them. 🙏🫶🙏

Vote comment up
7
7points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#20

Forcing them to eat. My mom always made me finish my plate, eating disorder and lifelong obesity ensued. I've successfully quit smoking way easier than going on an effective diet.

drMcDeezy Report

Final score:
53points
Add photo comments
POST
michaelpperthaussieguy avatar
Michael P (Perthaussieguy)
Michael P (Perthaussieguy)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As my kids were growing up and being introduced to different foods, I always tried to make sure there was a mix of food groups at mealtimes. I would say to them, "All of something and something of everything". I was learning what they liked or didn't like. I never expected them to like everything I liked. On the other side of the coin, I fully admit I didn't offer them foods that I didn't like but I was always willing to try something new for them if they asked. There's always a wide choice for parents to offer their kids

Vote comment up
10
10points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Thinking them as property. We all understand parents are responsible for the offspringss actions but they aint property.

humandronebot00100 , Kristina Paukshtite Report

Final score:
50points
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#22

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Giving them stupid names or with stupid spellings.

namvet67 , Monica Turlui Report

Final score:
49points
Add photo comments
POST
catherine-r-brooker avatar
lily jones
lily jones
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's this one family one YouTube and all the kids' names end in 'Dee' e.g, KassaDee

Vote comment up
16
16points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#23

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Forgetting what it was like to be that age, and expecting their kids to react differently to things than them when they were that age.

MunkRubilla Report

Final score:
48points
Add photo comments
POST
deamhaynessdoom avatar
Deamhayness Doom
Deamhayness Doom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandma had a decorative pot rag in her kitchen that reads "Alte Kuh ganz leicht vergisst, dass sie auch mal Kalb gewesen ist" - which translates to "Old cow quite easily forgets that she was also once a calf". She always lived up to that, and I had to become 30+ years old to realize that. Was one of the very few things I took when she died, and it applies to so many situations., not only parenting. Just think of how condescending some people treat younger colleagues...

Vote comment up
22
22points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#24

Not respecting their privacy because it's "their home" . Barging into their room , asking them to leave the door open etc...

It give kids anxiety. And it last .
I moved to my own place and sometimes I still look at the door expecting it to open etc...

KimHaRin Report

Final score:
47points
Add photo comments
POST
sahilislam avatar
Sahil Islam
Sahil Islam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father does this and I, still love him don't get me wrong he's the best, despise him for it. I want some moments of privacy after a long day of socialising and studies

Vote comment up
10
10points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#25

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Forgetting that a kids brain isn’t fully developed like their own.

Also, shaming in any way of something your kid is into. Trying to learn about it is actually quite helpful and a good way to connect. And, parents can learn things that they like too. I didn’t know I liked Pierce the Veil until my 12 year old liked them and I wanted to check them out

ChrystynaS , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:
44points
Add photo comments
POST
View more commentsArrow down menu
#26

Having a toxic relationship and staying together for the “sake of the kids”

mockingjay602 Report

Final score:
44points
Add photo comments
POST
snorkythepig avatar
Snorky The Pig
Snorky The Pig
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely. If you want to do something for the sake of your kids, you need to set a healthy example. The only thing kids will learn from this is to do the same.

Vote comment up
14
14points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#27

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Not teach them to think for themselves

GimmiwCoconut , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
42points
Add photo comments
POST
ami-ainsworth avatar
Phoenix
Phoenix
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would react to this but I have to wait for someone else to react first so I know what the proper reaction is. edit: typo

Vote comment up
15
15points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) I was raised with the motto “If you lose, you can’t come home.”

My great-grandfather said it to my grandmother when she was being bullied by a boy.

My grandmother said it to my mother when she ran in the house from a girl who was beating her up; kicked her out and locked the door. “If you lose, you can’t come home.”

For me, there was no one incident. It was just a mantra. And now I am absolutely afraid of failure of any sort, I come to work hours early to prepare and stay late to make sure I’ve got it right. Same with my hobbies, and every part of my life. I cannot be bad at anything. Free time only exists as practice/study/training time. The amount of pressure I put on myself is not healthy.

I’m 38 years old, and I haven’t spoken to my mother in 10+ years.

But I almost always win, and I’m f*****g amazing at the things that I do. Small consolation. Parents f**k us up, man.

Urkchaloi , Pixabay Report

Final score:
41points
Add photo comments
POST
jenjoyner avatar
Xenon
Xenon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope Op is getting some type of counseling, the stress will send them to an early grave.

Vote comment up
16
16points
Vote comment down
reply
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#29

Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers) Shouting, makes kids scared of it , not a good thing to be scared of as a adult

hippopotamus5791 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:
41points
Add photo comments
POST
aleksandarrobinson avatar
PlatinumThe8-BitCat
PlatinumThe8-BitCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like I said earlier, this is the reason I don’t speak to my parents when I have issues, because they just shout at me and make me nervous, which makes them shout at me even more for being silent and mumbling

Vote comment up
13
13points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu
#30

Not allowing questions about beliefs/self discovery. I was raised in a very, very religious and conservative home that did not allow questioning about any of the beliefs. Doubt the existence of god? They'd sit me down and grill me for hours about the evil of the devil, his temptations, how I'd go to hell, etc. etc. Don't think conservatives are the best? Get called a f*****g commie. That's my parents for you.



edit: Holy s**t, my first reddit award. Thank you, kind internet stranger!!!!

lewie_820 Report

Final score:
40points
Add photo comments
POST
snorkythepig avatar
Snorky The Pig
Snorky The Pig
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did not have parents like this (my parents are buddhist and don't believe in indoctrination) but I know someone who grew up orthodox Jewish and I tell you, nothing ever screamed "cult" to me like what she described. She wasn't even allowed to turn on a light on Saturday and was told that it was "her duty to dress modestly so as not to impose a stumbling block on men." She was so scared to leave the community because the rabbis would force her parents to break ties with her. Luckily, she did so anyway. The rabbis made their little threats but her parents fortunately understood her and did not listen to them. They are still a part of the community but my friend is doing her own thing now and is a lot happier. DON'T INDOCTRINATE YOUR KIDS, PEOPLE. IT'S NOT COOL. Give them options, don't try to hide anything, especially the weighty parts. Just wait for them to decide on their own. They eventually will anyway.

Vote comment up
13
13points
Vote comment down
reply
View More Replies... View more commentsArrow down menu

Note: this post originally had 65 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!