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Someone Online Wondered “What Was Normal To You As A Kid, But You Later Realized How Messed Up It Actually Was?” And 40 Delivered
Interview With Author
Kids are simple. We're born clueless yet eager to learn and love. We view things differently, and the majority of the time, it doesn't all turn out to be rainbows and butterflies.
“What was normal to you as a kid, but you later realized how [messed up] it actually was?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most informative and thought-provoking communities, inviting its members to share screwed-up things they believed to be OK while growing up. The post garnered over 7K upvotes as well as 4.7K comments.
More info: Reddit
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#1
My parents would move into the RV if the kids were sick and not let us near them. Not help. No support. No love. Also they would often just tell me to kick rocks if i was trying to have a conversation as a young preteen and teen.
I have kids now. They are sick right now. I still kiss them hug them hold my girls hair if shes puking.
I dont care if i get sick my faimy and kids mean so much to me that a cold means nothing.
I was very alone as a kid. My 3 kids will not feel this pain. Ever.
Bi Frog 2 years ago
I am so sorry that you experienced this. I am glad that you are breaking the cycle though! People like you really make a difference. :)
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
I wish I had attention and affection as a kid. My parents weren't bad but dad worked nearly 12 hours a day almost 7 days a week to support us and my mom had mental health issues and was overwhelmed caring for my special needs brother. They did what they could the best they knew how so I don't resent them but it affected me badly. It makes me jealous but very happy reading about people who don't hold back the affection and care
Rae Ramirez 2 years ago
When you’re sick, that’s when you need love the most!! Hug them extra tight kiss them everywhere and everyday!
KWilly 2 years ago
I always tell people having a sick kid is two-fold. On one hand, I hate it cause they are suffering and there isn't much as a parent you can do for them. On the other, I loved the cuddle time I would get from my daughter. She would always want to snuggle up and sleep it off and I was 100% down for that! She's 16 now and I still snuggle with her when she's sick (if she wants to)
Sandy Kavanaugh 2 years ago
Believe me, when she's 30, she'll still want to be with you. It's Mom and Dad magic, and it really works!
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Bored Panda was lucky enough to get in touch with u/True_Customer_8913, the thread’s creator, and we posed them a couple of questions. “It’s always interesting to hear about people’s past, and since I have a little childhood trauma, I can relate sometimes,” the Redditor said when we wondered about the inspiration behind the post. We then asked the author whether they’d be willing to answer their own question; they agreed and replied as follows: “Probably the fact that I thought it was normal for parents to hit their kid.”
RELATED:
#2
When I was 7, I came to the realization that if I showed any signs that I was in a good mood around my mother, she would find some reason to yell at me. Even started testing it, would walk into rooms she was in smiling vs not and proved my theory right, so I just stopped smiling, and it didn't take much longer for it to stop being an act.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
This is horrible. I hope you went no-contact with her and got therapy.
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
THIS exact thing happened to me!!! EVERY TIME. Someone paid me a compliment/I got the highest mark in the class on a test/I managed to save up enough for tickets to a concert I really wanted to go to? My mother would find a reason to negate the experience then heap on insults, or something that I had done was suddenly SUPER WRONG and worthy of a rampaging screamfest about what a worthless child I was. This continued WELL into my adulthood... and you know why? All my 'friends' growing up kept telling me I was imagining it, because that could just NEVER happen (surprise surprise, my mother was suuuper sweet to them when they came over)
Riley Quinn 2 years ago
I can relate to this. My mother had an amazing ability to darken the skies whenever any of us kids were in a good mood.
Ren 2 years ago
I'm so sorry:( I hope you can live a happier life now without your mother being a b***h<3
#3
I thought it was normal for peoples Mothers to be in bed all day. Got really freaked out when I saw other people's mothers up and around doing normal s**t.
Turned out mine was dying.
Karen Tyas 2 years ago
😞 I thought at first her Mom was battling depression. It’s hard as hell but you need to communicate to your kids(as age appropriate as possible) what’s happening. I was 6 when I was told that my Dad had cancer. Yeah it came with challenges but it was better than trying to piece together what was happening without that knowledge.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom and you not being to,d the whole story of her decline and death.you deserved to know she was dying and be able to process that information.
Rae Ramirez 2 years ago
So sorry for your loss. As a parent it is hard to burden a child with a huge dose of reality
#4
Thought it was normal to constantly apologize over even the slightest little f**k-up so I don't get screamed at. I still have this problem today.
Bi Frog 2 years ago
Same. It took me years to figure out that most people don't react with large bursts of anger and screaming because of a minor inconvenience.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
The only person I know who does this is my sister. And even when I apologize, she still does this. She's 8
Load More Replies... Alexia 2 years ago
Same here. It's heartbreaking to see how common this type of humiliation was. I'd always believe that it was my fault, and that I needed to "try harder" to deserve affection. I got over it with a lot of therapy (it was a long and painful process, but it was worth it). Hugs to everyone
My O My 2 years ago
I always got told it ways my fault. No matter what. Brother dropped his cup and it shatterd? My fault! Very hard to unlearn. Hugs to you too!
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Display_Name 2 years ago
I'm the same way. Idk if I need to see a therapist for it. It makes me feel weak.
ILoveMySon 2 years ago
You are NOT weak, Dear. Therapy will only make you stronger. Good luck and many hugs.
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fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
I do this accidentally. My mom is always telling me I don't have to apologize all the time, but I sometimes I just feel like I did something wron even when I know I didn't.
#5
I thought it was normal to walk on eggshells around my father to avoid having him blow up In anger over the littlest things such as crying, eating snacks, the tiniest bit of bickering, and whispering but there were many more examples. He was deployed alot when I was little and he received a lot of head trauma in the process which explains his actions and he is really adamant on changing his behavior towards us now and that makes me happy.
Jeff Mcelfresh 2 years ago
At least this one actually had an explanation for his actions. Glad he's working towards getting better
Grudge-holding Treefrog 2 years ago
Wow, this is scarily familiar. Once my mom knows he’s heading home, it’s a mad scramble to clean everything
My O My 2 years ago
I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you get out of that situation as soon as possible. And I hope your mom supports you
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TeenieMeanie 2 years ago
Ever take the ACES test? That’s an eye opener. Listening for footsteps is a sign that you grew up in an abusive household.
Nonesuch 2 years ago
Just took the ACE Test. Highly recommend. Shared their website with my bro
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Literal Pigeon 2 years ago
Similar story here, minus the head trauma. It doesn't erase what he did but it does offer an opportunity to repair the relationship.
Bluetoyou 2 years ago
My dad was deployed a lot when I was little too. I had to walk on eggshells also. He was not in any battles. He was Navy Airborne between wars. I would cry myself to sleep a lot. Wondered what it must be like to have a loving relationship with my dad like my friends did. Then I saw the movie The Great Santini. Nailed in. He had short fuse and then some. I later found out he had taken a prescribed medication daily that causes mental instability. My parents divorced when I was 15. He passed away when I was 19 from his heart condition. At 46. It was not discovered until later the medication he was on did that and it was only prescribed for short term use after that. He had been on it for years.
Nonesuch 2 years ago
I'll get in line with my sad dad story. Daddy had a horrible brain abscess in his thirties. They basically scooped out part of his brain to halt the infection. After this trauma he had a real short fuse and violent rages. He often whipped my 3 brothers, my mother(!), and me for minor offenses. Once he gave my 15 yr old bro 50 licks for coming home stoned. This all occurred in the 60's and 70's, a much different age. Still dealing with traumatic memories
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Leave him brochures from Medicaid nursing homes when you visit.
Load More Replies... #6
Parents used to wake me up at 4 am to make them a drink. I slept over a friends house one night and slept till 7 am! My first words to my friend were " Why didn't your parents wake us up at 4 am?" She said why would they? I said to make them a drink? I will never forget the look she gave me That was when I realized it wasn't normal, I was 12.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
Why do they need the kids to do it? Why not do it themselves? Also, why would they be awake at 4am??? I have so many questions...
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
Control? Discipline? Entitlement? There are parents who think that their child is their property and they can do what they want with them. Ordering a child to get up at 4am to make drinks is a way of showing who is in charge, and that the child can do nothing about it. It's a power trip, just because they can.
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No spam 2 years ago (edited)
My job was to make my father’s coffee. Instant coffee, so not that bad. I had to bring a chair to reach the sink to fill the little pot with water then move the chair over to the stove to reach the burner. I learned how to add just the right amount of creamer and to fill the mug to just the right level, then take it back to the parents’ bedroom. I was proud each time I did it right. I was 4.
Michelle C 2 years ago
Sadly, those who are severely addicted to substances like alcohol and cigarettes experience neurological and cognitive changes which may result in total dependency on the substance to function normally in the everyday. They may not even realize the degrees to which their senses of morality have changed unless they become fully conscious of and willing to seek healing for the severity of the disease. This isn’t to say those who suffer addiction shouldn’t be held accountable for what they have done, but there’s little that others may be able to do without those addicted being willing to admit they need help.
Shelby Moonheart 2 years ago
I knew people that would wake their 10 year old son up a few hours after he had been asleep to make him go to the bathroom so he wouldn't wet the bed. They only did it for a little while, like several months.
Oliver 2 years ago
Mom once slapped me and dunked my head under water (not fully just my hair and eyes) to try and see a stress spot in my head. Head to school and explain what happened to classmates. I was wondering why everyone was shocked at me until a friend told me that that’s child abuse. Mom and I talked it out and we’re close now
#7
My mom's boyfriend would pick me up by my hair sometimes. It didn't hurt a s**t ton so I never complained, which in turn made him keep doing it.
My hair was always in a ponytail so it was easy to grab and do.
I told a coworker about it and laughed because it wasn't a terrible memory. But he didn't laugh like I did. It was more of a nervous laugh then he says "That's actually pretty f****d up." Then I started to think about all the stuff I actually do remember from my childhood and realized how s****y it really was. I have two kids and it was never a thought to ever pick them up by their hair.
TeenieMeanie 2 years ago
Psychopaths,sorry I accidentally downvoted. I’m drunk.
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Elizabeth Tayler 2 years ago
I walked into the room & my best friend's dad was holding her off the floor by her hair (we were about 4 or 5), she was kinda grabbing at her hair & whimpering. I was terrified. When he put her down she just went about playing with me like nothing unusual happened. I can still picture it like it was yesterday.
BoredPandaSucks 2 years ago (edited)
used to have a couple of different verbally abusive male relatives. no profanity, just jeering/belittling remarks and such. not just to me, but to others too, kids especially. once it got to me more than usual, and i didn't like it and said something to my mother and she excused it away as "that's just his way. if he doesn't tease it means he doesn't like you." when i got older i stopped going around whenever there were family gatherings and got all kids of sh¡t for it. now it has been 15 years or better since i have talked to any of them. mom is dead now though so that helps.
Thegoodboi 2 years ago
Who thinks it would be a great idea to do that the first time..To a girl/boyfriend's child??
ILoveMySon 2 years ago (edited)
Mother should have gotten rid of him! If ANYONE mistreated my son like that I fear I would be in prison.
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Salty Sasquatch 2 years ago
I'm so glad the coworker got the gumption to tell her it was abuse.
Killing_Time_At_Work 2 years ago
sad thing is what we find so normal in life.. is not actually normal #story of my life
#8
We weren't just playing "Xtreme" hide and seek but rather being hidden so that he wouldn't hurt us to get at mom again.
Ashley Jernigan 2 years ago
This breaks my heart because I just got free of my abusive ex husband. Still have (less often now) the nervous tendencies of feeling like I have to rush my girls for their own peace and safety. Wasn't a day that went by that he wouldn't scream at them and try to attack them, just to hurt me. We're all doing much better now and healing more every day. I'm learning we're okay and don't have to rush or keep quiet anymore. It's so much more peaceful. Love and hugs to you dear poster. I feel your mother's pain
My O My 2 years ago
Dear Ashley, I am very proud of you! You are a great mom, keep going! Hugs
Load More Replies... Jane Cortez 2 years ago
:( Reading all of these accounts, ( along with others), I realize how terrible so many people are…
#9
Being hungry all the time. Being 7 years old and thinking how clever I was when I figured out dumpster diving.
A Bobcat From Philly 2 years ago
Well, gotta vote against these bastards instead of for them... Women voting for men to control them is like a chicken voting for Colonal Sanders... but sadly, they DO!!
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Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I'm always super aware of my kids friends and try and clock what home life is like for them. I came from that and can read it pretty well. I was raised to be super polite as a kid and tried to never give the "family secrets" away when at friends houses.
Seonag Udell 2 years ago
Yep totally relate, although it was my father that was abusive to me and my mother. It was my mother that told me not to tell anyone about it, so I didn't.
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RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
I did this as a kid. It wasn't my mom's fault though, we were refugees and had no money. My mom got a stipend of $2000/year to live off of, but in San Francisco that was nearly impossible.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Just $2K a year? Sure it wasn't $2K a month? Two train is nothing except maybe in a developing country.
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
My cousins and I did the same thing. You wouldn't believe the things grocery stores throw away. They padlock their dumpsters these days.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Shame, shame, fifty thousand times SHAME on them for doing this, instead of donating leftover comestibles to a food bank or shelter!
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KnightOwl 2 years ago
Yep. Been there. Me and my sister once sold the few toys we had to buy food because our little brother and sister wouldn't stop crying. Our mum had been gone for 3-4 days and we hadn't eaten that entire time, at 6 & 7 we were used to being hungry but the little ones were only 3 & 4 and found it really difficult. We sold them to other kids so didn't make much money but managed to get bread, milk, eggs and a packet of biscuits and survived on that until she came home a few days later. Thankfully we were eventually taken away by social services about a year later. We all struggled to adapt to eating regularly after years of being hungry.
gloria benado 2 years ago
I remember dumpster diving but for clothes and stuff. Guess I got lucky I didn't have to do it for food though I did become really good at making mayonnaise and mustard sandwiches 🙂
#10
Always being on edge at home because I never knew what mood my mum would be in
Dodo 2 years ago
I didn't move out until very late in life, been LC with my mother for roughly a year at this point. I stayed over recently and it took about three hours for my mood to spiral. You forget just how bad it is when you're away from it for a while.
TeenieMeanie 2 years ago
I hope it gets better. I webt LC with my mom for four years. Talked to her again recently and it’s better. Like she gets I was not bluffing. I genuinely hope it gets that well for you.
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Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Grew up with a mother who in this day and age would have been diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder. The self help books always talk about "walking on eggshells" which is exactly what it was like
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I grew up with a single undiagnosed bipolar mother. I have a lot of serious trauma from that and I've thankfully gotten help for. I try and do so much better by my daughters.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
Was she diagnosed later in life? I hope so, because if you're speculating that's not good. It makes us bipolar folk look terrible.
Load More Replies... D. Pitbull 2 years ago
yuup... the building tension... my heartbeat raising... usually slowing down as I approached the house... listening to see if I could hear my mother banging pots and pans (ie: being really rough with things around the house to express her frustration/anger at whatever/whomever) so I would know if I had to RACE to my room or if I could walk at a normal pace...
gloria benado 2 years ago
I learned how to be hyper vigilant thanks to this. I still feel absolute fear when I see my husband is in a bad mood and instantly feel I must have done something wrong. It's horrible to never be able to rid yourself of learned behaviors or reactions.
Callie Ge 2 years ago
This, my mother would go from zero to screaming rage in 3.5 seconds over the most stupid trivial things. I was terrified of her, she would ask the most incongruous question & if she didn’t like the answer she would explode, she threw me out when I was 15 but in hindsight it was the best thing for me, I was able to escape her tyranny. She had the hide to say I abandoned her, my dad & 2 younger brothers still lived there, wtf.
#11
I remember my sister had this fake belly button ring she showed my dad. He immediately ripped it out which was quite painful. I asked if he even knew if it was fake and he didn’t.
He thought it was real and did that.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
That is sadistic and cruel to intentionally hurt your sister like that. Do not let him be with your kids alone. If you have any.
over it already 2 years ago
My mom ripped mine out & it wasn't fake. And I had pierced it myself. Ouch, yes.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
My dad was mostly very kind, but there were 2 or 3 times through the years that he said something really cruel out of the blue. One of those times was that if I ever got a tattoo, he'd remove it. Not only was I confused about this prejudiced and terrifying statement, but I'd never even shown any interest in tattoos.
Peeka_Mimi 2 years ago (edited)
My mom hit me in the face for having a nose ring. It got caught in her ring and she pulled, ripping it off. That was a bloody mess. She didn't even help cleaning it. I paid for my daughter's nose ring because I'm not a jerk. I got mine re-pierced too.
Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago
Some are made like a split ring with a hinge. When you pinch the halves together it looks pierced. The two ends aren,t sharp but thin. Sudden force jerking them can definitely cut the skin.
Load More Replies... #12
Being in elementary school and waking myself up for school, making all my own food, and walking myself 1-2 blocks to the bus stop while my mom slept. Making almost all meals for myself. I lived off of mushroom soup for lunch because that's all I could figure out how to cook.
Bluetoyou 2 years ago
When I taught school we called them latch key kids. They had their house key around their neck because no one was there to pick them up. They made their own meals, etc. One 6th grader was always trying to find a way to help a teacher after school. Turns out no one was home. She could not handle an empty house. I do not know what time her parents got off work. We actually began using a program called Discipline with Love and Logic that parents were required to take if they were having issues parenting their children. It was a no spanking or corporal punishment program. It worked well and gave the teachers tools to use in the classroom also. So yes parenting skills are not innate.
N Miller 2 years ago
I had the house key on a chain around my neck when I was nine. My mum's shift finished 30 minutes after school out time, and after school clubs run by schools weren't a thing back then. Far safer for me to spend a half hour or so by myself in our warm house until mum got off the bus. Never had to make my own meals though - just helped myself to a packet of crisps from the snack cupboard. My school mates were busy being whisked off to extra curricular activities like horse riding or piano lessons so going back to their houses wasn't an option. Only had to do it for about eight months until mum got a better job, and come high school I had better road sense than any of my classmates.
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The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
Was this because she was lazy or drug addicted or sick? Or was she exhausted from working herself to the bone from working all night to keep a roof over their head? Context matters.
S P 2 years ago
I agree. A mom working 2nd or 3rd shift as an only parent is a different story.
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Sanguinius 2 years ago
My wife's mother moved out when she was 12. Her sister already had moved out as well. She was a 12 year old living home alone. Got herself to school, cooked basic food, and had friends over all the time since there was nobody to tell them "No" to anything they might want to do there. They would party a lot. She's only now at age 32 starting to unpack how weird and messed up that was. Weird part is she actually has a good relationship with her mom now. She just... kinda went wanderlust after the dad left.
OurLadyOfLunch 2 years ago
This was an entire generation of kids...I was a fortunate Gen-Xer whose parents were involved. So many of us grew up just like this.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
I am so sorry that you had to do this growing up. Some people have kids, but their mindset and ability to care for children never show up. You definitely deserved better!
Linda Lee 2 years ago
Latch key kid, here. You know it was bad when laws were made to protect us kids from our parents. The neglect of seeing a parent for days. Hoping they remembered to sign the field trip permission slip, left on the table for days. Writing my own father notes asking for lunch money. Walking around the school cafeteria pretending that I already ate because I didn't have money. My deepest gratitude to the lunch lady that probably risked her job to give me some free food.
Callie Ge 2 years ago
My mother was always asleep before we went to school. From 5 yrs old we made our own lunches , got dressed & walked 40 minutes to school. She was always in bed asleep when we got home & didn’t get up until it was time to cook dinner. Our meals were flavourless less than basic slop. She couldn’t cook for shite & refused to learn.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Cans of green beans, cold. Heating required time and noise which could likely lead to my mom and I being in the same room. This also fueled my anorexia after being told I could potentially be fat in the future if I'm not careful about what I eat.
#13
Not being allowed to feel or express any type anger or sadness
Bi Frog 2 years ago
This! Only my parents were allowed to express their emotions. :/ Funny how this only made me more emotional lol.
Phoenix the Frog 2 years ago
My parents prefer when I express happy emotions and my mom gets upset when I am tried after school.
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Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I'm still haunted by my friend that committed suicide saying to me shortly before it happened when I asked him if he was okay.. "Well..like my dad always said..if something's bothering you, keep it to yourself" :( So many "what if?"s I go through since :(
Raccoon 2 years ago
Yup. I had a bad day? “WAIT TILL YOU GET TO THE REAL WORLD” my dad had a bad day? *speeds, in the dark, in a residential area, with his child in the front seat while treating said child as a therapist, verbal punching bag, and blame all of his life’s problems on the child’s mum*
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 2 years ago
Omfg if my brother is crying/acting out becuase he had a bad day my mom wil tell him not to and complain how she hates having to listen to all of us whine all day, but the minute she has a bad day she’ll come home and cry and take it out on us. And then apologize and say some dumb shut like I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have acted out or yelled, and proceeds to do it again. Her solution to everything is yelling but if I take a slight ‘tone’ with her I’m the one in the wrong.
#14
I thought it was normal for dads to scream and throw things at their family every night.
Alexia 2 years ago
Same :( I went to spend a few days at some friends' house. I was waiting for people to start screaming and each other, cursing, slamming doors, throwing things (this was what was happening at home). But nothing happened, they were all calm and nice to each other. I was sure they were all acting because I was there.
Amanda Witt 2 years ago
My dad was an alcoholic, drinking on the sly at work (engineering lab full of machines) and would come home in a mood sometimes. If mum hadn't served the right food or he didn't want it, there'd be a blue. I didn't want to leave my best friend's house, I was jealous of both her parents and wished I had that
Load More Replies... Ashley Jernigan 2 years ago
I thought it was normal to be unhappy and suffer through marriage so I in turn did the same for 12.5 years. Know that you don't have to settle for being unhappy or stay for the kids. If you stay for the kids but are unhappy and or being abused, you're hurting your children. And if you feel there is no way out, contact the Tessa program and start to make a game plan. Don't let them make you believe there's no hope for you on your own or that they will your children from you. 9 times out of 10 they have no ground to stand and are found guilty of abuse towards you and the children. There are plenty of programs out there for single mothers.
Snorkeldorf 2 years ago
My mom and dad argued all the time and my mom constantly sniped and demeaned my dad. Never thought much about it until I was 20 years old and had a guy come over to the house to pick me up. A group of us were going to spend the day at his parent's lake house. We sat in the kitchen for a while and chatted. After we left he said to me "are your parents always like that?" Sadly, that was the first time I realized this wasn't normal.
Brenda 2 years ago
My BFF tried to leave my house during a party after hubby and I had an argument, not even a serious one. She thought things would escalate. Apparently her dad drank and arguments meant yelling, throwing things, verbal abuse. Scary. Told her you can argue and still love each. She had no idea
ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ 2 years ago
first time I heard of this happening to a family I was glad I was faar away cause dang, that's the first time I really felt M A D
#15
I was in between my parents "divorce war" and then my mom fell ill, cancer. It killed her slowly and my dad made it more painful for everyone involved. I was 10 when it started and 16 when she passed. My dad made my life living hell for all this time, and still until I was about 19. It just stopped because I put my foot down and said enough. Also I have 2 younger brothers I was caring for all this time.
Tan Artt 2 years ago
He's literally an abuser. I hope she never talks to him again.
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secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
Again, you should go no contact. Some people are truly horrible and deserve to die alone. Your Dad is one of those people. I hope your Mom got to die with friends and family caring for and loving her.
Ashley Jernigan 2 years ago
These abuse posts hurt my heart because I know my girls have very similar stories about their dads especially my ex husband. He is the true definition of evil and an absolute monster.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
I don't know why he couldn't just let it go as she was dying. That was cruel and evil thing to do. I am glad your younger siblings had you, even though it wasn't your responsibility to care for them.
Стеван Радоичић 2 years ago
My mom also fell ill from cancer in 2009, my dad made sure to make both our lives even more miserable until she died in 2012. He then made sure to make my life even worse until he died in 2021.
#16
Having to beg your teacher to let you go to the bathroom- as a 16 year old
Thegoodboi 2 years ago
This..It got to a point I just walked out after the begging and came back 2 mins later. YES I REALLY DID GO TO THE BATHROOM YOU IDIOT
Kathy Joy 1 year ago
I don't have this issue, but if it ever became an issue, I would tell her if she needed to go and the teacher said not to go anyway. Needing the bathroom is a human need. No teacher will stop my kid from going if they need to. And if they have a problem with it, they can take it up with me.
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Jessica Amber 2 years ago
This STILL happens. I just met with a principal over it. My 12 year old had to go bad. I told her to get up and walk out from now on. I'll deal with consequences. Kids are treated like second class citizens. Schools are run like prisons. Its disgusting.
Kari Hughes 2 years ago
Teachers are generally not allowed to leave the room while they have students in it, unless they can get someone to watch the class, which is often not possible due to lack of staff. This means that the teachers can’t go to the bathroom unless it’s during their lunch or prep period, if they can even take a lunch or have a prep period that day. It’s a big enough issue that teachers have bladder issues later in life from having to hold it all the time. If schools made it more possible for teachers to be able to go to the bathroom when necessary, there would problem be fewer problems with kids not being allowed to go during class.
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StarlightPanda! 2 years ago
That's not right. A lot of people have illnesses such as diabetes and others and can get infections if they wait too long. Even without any illnesses, people should not hold it too long for medical reasons too!
Mouse 2 years ago
I am one of those people. When I retained urine I ended up with bladder & kidney infections. In 4th grade my doctor wrote a note saying I was allowed to use the bathroom when I needed too. She made a huge deal of letting the entire class know of the issue every single time I had to go. I still resent her for it. As a bonus, she would tug at my skirts that she thought were too short. Mine were longer than other girls wore...
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Jan Rosier 2 years ago (edited)
Had a teacher when I was 16 or 17 telling me I wasn't allowed. Now every classroom had a small sink... so I stood up, and loudly said 'that's ok sir, I will use the sink instead'... If he had not thrown me out of the classroom I would have done it. All boys school, you know...
Julie Snelling 2 years ago (edited)
Here in the UK there was an article in the paper only a couple of weeks ago, that girls who had their period had to have a red card to show the teacher if they wanted to go to the bathroom during lessons. The parents were not happy about it.
No Name 2 years ago
Honestly, that's something I'd expect from my home state.
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Carbonel 2 years ago
Different take: there are regular break periods through the day which is when you’re supposed to go to the bathroom. Kids use “can I go to the bathroom” as a way of skipping class. Kids with medical issues should have a pass to go whenever, regardless. Just my own experience from working in a school. That said, good sense should always prevail.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago (edited)
Those breaks were barely enough time to get books from my locker and head to the next class somewhere in my 5 story high school building. Outside of exam periods, it seems like good sense is to let people decide the timing of their bathroom visits by themselves.
Load More Replies... Brenda 2 years ago
I had to get a note from the doctor for my daughter in elementary and middle school so she could go wherever she needed to (related to medication). One middle school teacher refused to let anyone use the bathroom during her class. Actually had to have a parent/teacher conference, with VP, counselor & nurse there because she didn't think the note was real. They made her change her policy after that. Had to have daughter moved to a different class. Insane!
BeepBeepBoopBoop 2 years ago
that's happened to me! After I had a teacher not allow me to go to the bathroom, we almost immediately got a 504 plan. It was convenient because it was for my epilepsy, but it's a side effect of one of my meds
Load More Replies... Kari Hughes 2 years ago
i just want to add that in many schools in America, teachers themselves aren’t allowed to use the restroom while they have students in their classroom. They have to call the office to have someone come watch their class, which is often not possible due to lack of staff. This means that teachers have to wait until passing periods or breaks, or hold it. This is a big enough problem that urologists have even noticed that teachers and nurses have bladder problems later in life because they never had time to go to the bathroom. So yes, some teachers are particularly unsympathetic towards kids that need to go to the bathroom during class, because they themselves are not allowed to go.
Ghaniyah Verma 2 years ago
I hate teachers like those. Do you want us to do our stuff in our pants?
BeepBeepBoopBoop 2 years ago
no you should've gone during lunch! The lunch that was 3 hours ago!
Load More Replies... #17
Being afraid of night time because it meant my dad would come home and scream at us/attack us. Thought all moms were sad and cried every day
Sarah SH 2 years ago (edited)
My husband used to come in from work at midnight after everyone was asleep and wake us all up by critically shouting questions with obvious answers. “WHY IS THE HEAT TURNED UP?!!” Gee, what could pretty much be the only reason the heat was turned up…🤔 Because we were cold! (Not the typical man/thermostat thing as this was just one of many examples).
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
That was a horrid situation. I am so sorry you went through that! He should have been in jail.
Carlos Moreno 2 years ago
I was scared every Tuesday and Thursday because it was my dad's drinking night and I would stay awake all night because whenever he got home he used to wake up my brother and I and make us fight until one of us bled. Then he really doesn't understand why I won't speak to him.
Tom De Paul 11 months ago
Didn't these people watch the Brady Bunch, the Partridge Family, and/or the Walton's? Or talk to their peers about home life? I don't understand why these people thought all this abusive behavior was normal.
#18
I had been campaigning for a raise in my allowance for a long time. Finally, my mom caved and said she was giving me a boost from $5 /week to $20 / month. I was pretty proud of myself. Took me longer than I’d like to admit that mom worked me over pretty good.
Clown fish 2 years ago
Lol sorry but I laughed not because your mum is a twat basket but because it tuck me a second too long to click £5 per week makes £20 per month
Needmorecowbell 2 years ago
My kids are super hard workers and helpers around the house and in our business. They don’t get allowance BUT they get everything they need and usually what they want.
Tan Artt 2 years ago
They HAVE to get everything they need... Like that's the lowest bar for parents ig.
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Courtney Christelle 2 years ago
I tried giving my son an allowance, even gave an advance to get him started but he never did the work after.
#19
My parents wouldn’t let me say “pee” or “poop” so I was walking around as a three year old saying things like “I have to have a bowel movement”
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
My mother insisted on the correct anatomical terms and refused to use euphemisms (where I was brought up, ladies private body parts were commonly called 'my minnie' or 'tuppence' but we had to use v u l v a and v a g I n a, and p e n I s for the boys, not w I l l y). It got my oldest sister into trouble at school-one teacher was concerned that using those terms meant she had been groomed by an adult, that her knowledge and use of terminology showed inappropriate interaction with an adult. My parents had to meet with the school principal to explain, and then my sister was told she wasn't allowed to use those terms in front of other students because their parents might not want their child to know that sort of language. It was all so stupid.
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 2 years ago
I have cousins who aren't allowed to say "fart" or even "toot" and they gasp if anyone else says it like it's a curse word. They also get in trouble for doing said action anywhere but the bathroom.
OurLadyOfLunch 2 years ago
Same!! Imagine a 6 yo telling their teacher they need to urinate. That was me. I genuinely thought "pee" and "poop" were curse words until I was 12.
Anna Purnell 2 years ago
My folks did this, although I never thought it was bad. However, when they tried to make teenage me say "pustule" instead of "zit," I told them no, and they acquiesced. Ended up an English teacher anyway. 🤣
#20
Being bullied and threatened with violence by your father and having your mother make excuses or outright blaming you for it.
"Well you know how he is." And "Well you shouldn't have stood up for yourself."
It destroyed my self-esteem and confidence growing up, it has taken years to rebuild myself. One good thing that has come from this, I don't yell at people or threaten people if they make me angry. In the best situation I am able to resolve conflict in a civil and respectful manner. Worst case I remove myself from the situation and go for a walk to clear my head so I can later reapproach the conflict with a cool head.
randomUser 2 years ago
hell never really be okay that kinda trauma never goes
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Detective Miller's Hat 2 years ago
Same when it comes to yelling. It's gotten to the point where if I raise my voice even just a little bit, friends and family will jokingly be like "OH SH*T RUN, SHE'S FURIOUS!"
Ryan Wilson 2 years ago
Gaslighting again, sorry for that experience, it sounds like it made you stronger.
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 2 years ago
Same about the conflict thing. I hate being yelled at and it solves nothing, and I’m able to de escalate situations with my siblings when I’m baby sitting really easily, no crying no fighting, but that’s becuase my parents yell at us and I probably have some kinda trauma
#21
Mom used to tell me to cough extra hard at the doctors office so she could get the good cough syrup.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
My friend told me that her mom took all her pain meds when she had her wisdom teeth pulled.
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Nikki D 2 years ago (edited)
My mom did this with me for pain medicine, cough medicine, adhd medicine. Among others. She coached me then took it all herself. Addicts are geniuses when it comes to getting their fix. When I told my dad ALL medicine was locked up. Turned out she could pick any lock or padlock. Still amazed by that one.
Brenda 2 years ago
I take cough medicine with codeine because I've broken 2 ribs coughing. Hate that stuff! Tastes terrible & makes me feel dizzy. It's nasty!
Nonesuch 2 years ago
My dad would take a dollop of Vicks vaporrub and make us swallow it when we were kids. I showed him the jar which said,For external use only, and he said swallow it any way.
Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
I can't even stand the smell of it. I'd have been puking for days.
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Bloobee bloobee bloo bloo bloo 2 years ago
My daughter used to get the cough medicine with codeine all the time cuz her cough was horrible. It never once occurred to me to dip into her prescription. Now I feel like I missed out on an opportunity
#22
Getting dragged all over town from party to party with my Dad. He would just leave my brother and me in the car while he went inside bars and drank. I remember a lady seeing us one time and pressing her tits into the window. I was like 7, so I wasn't interested at all at the time. I remember seeing fights, watching people get arrested, watching people puke all over the parking lot then drive off. If we were at a house party, he would bring us inside, which was better than being stuck in the car at least, but these parties were ragers and it was rare that other kids would be around, so my brother and I would just sit in a room and watch movies or play with someone else's kid's stuff while everyone got wasted. There were times when my dad was too drunk to drive, or he got lucky, so we'd just have to find a spot to crash for the night and wake him up in the morning when we were ready to go. He would take us out on the lake in the summer time, and we would have to beg him to buy non-alcoholic drinks, so we could have something, or we'd fill up old water bottles at home and bring them in the with us because he'd grab a case a beer and not put a single other thought to the cooler. Eventually around the time I was 9-10, he just started leaving us at the house unless other kids were going to be there. Literally because he got tired of hearing us complain about not having other kids to play with not because he was putting us in inherently dangerous situations. He was definitely an alcoholic, but not the kind you would expect, I only ever saw him truly wasted like twice in my whole life, he was very well put together and actually very successful with his career. He just did not give a single thought to my brother and me growing up, we were just like little tag-alongs to him. His girlfriends were the main reason he took us on trips growing up. It just was what it was growing up, but in hindsight it was a really chaotic childhood.
Phoenix the Frog 2 years ago
Did the gf not think " Hey 2 young kids should not have this life I should probably call CPS"
24 mentally unstable can tabs* 2 years ago
"girlfriends" - who knows how long each relationship lasted, or how much they actually paid attention to the kids
Load More Replies... RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
My in laws did this to my wife when she was growing up. They would go to restaurants and leave her in the car. She told me a story about them buying an extra meal, but not for her, it was too bring home for the dogs. She thought it was a funny story about her parents not realizing she was hungry. I told her how f****d up that was. You mattered less than the dogs. I don't like those people btw. They are still s****y to her, but think they can use their money to hold her affection. I know I treated you like c**p yesterday, but here's some fancy shoes. I wish she would tell them to f**k off
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
I'm not religious anymore, but one thing you've gotta say about church peoples' house parties is they're wholesome and awesome for kids. About the wildest thing I remember the grown-ups doing back then is Trivial Pursuit.
24 mentally unstable can tabs* 2 years ago
"girlfriends" the kids might not have their mother, so the dad kept dating or something idk
Load More Replies... Kim Lorton 2 years ago
I am so sorry you didn't receive any loving kindness and care for you and your brother, from your dad. It isn't your fault, and I am very sorry no one ever did anything to make your life better. I hope you have a great life now.
Detective Miller's Hat 2 years ago
Some of my earliest memories are of sleeping in the booth at the back of my mother's favourite bar.
Vanessa Richardson 2 years ago
I had a similar situation. My parents loved going to bars and would bring my sister and I along with them. We had a certain booth in every bar that we would sit at while they did their thing. We would drink virgin Shirley temples, which were awesome! But we also saw bar fights and stuff which was not cool. Lol it’s amazing how “normal” things can feel growing up, even though we never saw any other kids at these places.
Debbie Pugsley 3 weeks ago
My best friends father was an alcoholic. Mine abandoned us four when I was four-ish. I remember her father took us to a bar, so he could drink, on her 16th birthday. I remember thinking how sad that was.
Catherine Spencer-Mills 2 years ago
My dad claimed to be "an old drunk." But he popped the top of his beer can at 12:01pm and drank until early morning. He took us to the VFW bar and we would try to play the piano and run around. The bartender finally told him to leave us at home. Fortunately he wasn't into parties.
#23
Dad being drunk before noon every day. I didn't think it was NORMAL, but I didn't know how ABnormal it was.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
Sadly, for a lot of people, this isn't that abnormal. Alcohol changes people...
Michelle C 2 years ago
Unfortunately, the neurological and cognitive effects of addiction really do change those who suffer for the worst. Only if they are willing to seek help to achieve sobriety can they heal oftentimes.
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Annie 1973 2 years ago
It was my mother who was an alcoholic. She went to rehab many times where they would get her off alcohol but then discharge her with a prescription for strong benzos. After a few months they wouldn't give her a new prescription and she would start drinking again. Last time I saw her she had just been released from rehab for the umpteenth time and my stepdad called and begged me to come visit, I was 18. So my husband took me to visit her. She was in bed at 6pm and the very first thing she said to me was oh wonderful you are here! Then please go to the store and buy 3 bottles of wine. I told her no, that no way would I buy an alcoholic an alcohol drink. She replied that her doctor told her it was ok to have a social drink to which I said no doctor would tell a recovering alcoholic it was OK to drink alcohol ever again. So she started with the same c**p I'd heard my whole life and I told her that this would be the last time she would ever speak to or see me for the rest of my life.
Paul Brown 1 year ago
When I was drinking it was 24/7. If I was awake, I was drinking. Finally had enough and put it down for good in 2011.
Annie 1973 2 years ago
Because of her actions and then left. 3 months later I got a phone call saying she was dead. She had been drunk and had taken strong meds as well. Official verdict was that they couldn't tell if she had deliberately killed herself or she just took too much. As far as I'm concerned she killed herself and I was blamed by the whole family. That it was my fault she was dead because I drove her to do it with my behaviour the last time I saw her. I've had no contact with them for more than 30 years now
#24
I thought having night terrors was normal.
And apologizing over every miniscule thing that I could have possibly done wrong (or blaming myself for the mistakes of others) because I was terrified of getting yelled. Still struggle with this, but I'm getting better.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
I relate to the second paragraph. I just apologize for coughing too. And i have a loving family. I also tend to blame others' mistakes on myself
RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
When my oldest was four he started chasing me around the house saying he was a T Rex. After about ten minutes of this he said "now you!". So I made my arms into tiny claws and said "roar". He started bawling his eyes out. I picked him up and hugged him and said, "it's okay, I'm not really a T Rex". He had nightmares for two weeks. I've never been simultaneously feeling so guilty and so proud of my acting chops. I mean, Oscars right?
Jods 2 years ago
I’d wake up screaming and I could never say why so my mother used to think I was doing it on purpose. She got so angry with me once that she grabbed my hair and pulled me off the bed. My bed was the top of a bunk bed!
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Good for you! You deserve to be proud of yourself and living a good life.
gloria benado 2 years ago
Yeah the yelling is so scary even as a young adult I was petrified of my mother
Hakitosama 1 year ago
My Grandma used to call me "Sarah de la désolation" -> "Sorry sorry Sarah" not realising why I was constantly apologising....
#25
There was a kid in my primary school class who would talk about how his parents didn't care what he was up to, so he was out playing until 10 or 11 at night. Most of us at the time had bedtimes of 7 or 8pm, 9 when were in later years of primary. It wasn't until much later that I realised that a kid being out at that time (and on their own as well) wasn't a good thing. At the time, we all thought that it sounded awesome.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
I would've been afraid of the dark if I were outside that late
Zenozenobee 2 years ago (edited)
Depending on how your family is, home can be more scary than the dark....
Load More Replies... Shelby Moonheart 2 years ago
I had a friend is 6th grade who told me I was lucky that my parents cared where I was and wanted to know my friends. Her parents didn't pay much attention to her.
Lou Cam 2 years ago
Where I lived we were the only kids on the estate (council estate) who were indoors and ready for bed around 9pm. All the other kids stayed out until whenever like ferals. I later found out this is because they're parents could not give a s**t about them when one of them was murdered (an 11 year old when I was 7) and parents still let their kids out all hours. Can't remember if the murder was ever solved either.
RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
Or it was the 80s. None of my friends went home until the street lights came on. We'd all be out late into the night. Especially when we were in parts of town where the street lights were broken.
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
That moment you realize your friends’ permissive parents were actually s****y parents.
#26
Not saying I love you to my parents. Can’t remember the last time I said it. Didn’t realise how f****d up that was until I started hanging out with my friends and how they would tell their parents they loved them before they left the house or before they end a phone call
Gabriela 2 years ago
My parents never said "I love you" to me or my sisters and viceversa, but I always felt unconditionally loved and safe with them, we just showed our love in different ways. My son and I are very close, never fight and love to spend time together but we are not physically affectionate with each other
Ace 2 years ago
Whenever I see TV shows where kids and parents say this to each other it makes me cringe, cos nobody in real life would do this, right? Right? Oh.
Lolly Gagger 2 years ago
I feel like this is a bit of an American thing? My parents rarely said they loved me, but I never EVER doubted it because of all the love they put into our day to day lives with everything they did for us. I asked Mum about it, once, and she said she was always afraid to say it too often because she didn’t want to lessen the impact of those precious words, and I think she had a good point. If we always see ever text message, every phone call, every casual conversation ending with a throw away “Love you!”, does it means as much?
Ivy la Sangrienta 2 years ago
Can't remember mine ever saying it to me either, and now it would just feel super awkward to do it. They would show their love rather than vocalise it. When I had my own kid I've made sure to say AND show I love him every day.
georgios pahatouridis 2 years ago (edited)
I never said I love you to my parents and we are a pretty decent family. Come on, not everyone expresses in the same way. I know that they love me, cause they never treated me bad and they have been always supporting me with all their power. And now that they are old, I do the same. Still, never say "i love you"
Phyllis Huber 2 years ago
Spent the night with my cousin. She kissed her dad good night on the cheek. Thought is was the strangest thing I had ever seen
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
We always said it to my parents, and now that they have both passed, my three sisters and I always say it or text it when we talk. Even the nieces and nephews do also. We never want our last words to them to be in anger or hatred in the heat of an argument.
#27
That my dad would bring his beer with him in the car. Or that being pulled over happened pretty often when I was with my dad in the car (he always had a failure to appear warrant out for some stupid traffic ticket).
He was one of those functional alcoholics who you never saw drunk.
My parents love me, and genuinely did their best, but they're not the sort of people known for making good decisions.
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
When someone is an alcoholic, but they're not the "violent, angry, drunk all the time" kind. They're drinking all the time, but they're act like they're not. It can (and usually does) effect they're behavior, but no one would know they were drinking except maybe people close to them. My grandpa was a functioning alcoholic, and he would be an a$$hole at home but act totally normal in public. Not sure if that helps, if someone else has a better explanation please share
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Vanessa Richardson 2 years ago
My mom would keep her case of beer in the backseat floorboard when we had to go anywhere and whenever she would finish one can, she would swap the empty for a new one in the box. The one time she got pulled over, she quickly handed back her open beer and we put it in the box. Then, we held the flaps of the open case of beer closed with a foot. (Can’t remember if it was me or my sister, that’s why I say “we”) and surprisingly, it worked. I’m still shocked she has never gotten a DUI. Thank our lucky stars she doesn’t drive anymore!
Phoenix(or nix)they/them 2 years ago
Sounds like my maternal grandmother. She is a straight up wino who almost never doesn't have a tumbler filled with wine after 5-6 o'clock when she isn't working. Before most of my nuclear family went NC with her in June, she would drink and drive or drive us GRANDKIDS home TIPSY. We live 40 minutes away from this woman and we would go see her friend and hour and a half away from her house and then proceeded to go wine tasting and drink wine in general and then DRIVE US HOME when she was done. She has practically been to every winery in my state. She also has very clear favorites amongst her grandkids. Me and my male cousin are the least favorites. My cousin is just an AH but calls her out sometimes and I just straight up call her out on everything lol. My older sister, and the older brother of my cousin are the favorites just because they were the "firsts". She also clearly likes my aunt katie's kids better than any of the other grandkids. Oh well, I don't mind because I hate her. 🤷♀
gloria benado 2 years ago
There is always the a*****e grandma and the one you adore. Could not stand my dad's mom but my mom's mom was my grandma and I loved he so much:)
Load More Replies... featherytoad 2 years ago
My family lived in the country and my dad always brought a couple of beers with him when we went into town. He didn't do it if my mom was with him.
Display_Name 2 years ago
I was with a guy who did it. One day, he said that if he gets pulled over that I am to take the fall for it. "Yes, ocifer. That's my wine. Oh yes I'll walk that line, just let me remove my glasses. Oh, yeah Idk why my breath doesn't smell or the breathalyzer is reading zero."
#28
When I was in the first grade my parents started leaving me home alone. I was 6. Both my parents worked I would come home from school to a empty house every day. I didn't have keys to get in at first so I would try and find a unlocked window and climb in. My dad yelled bat me for scuffing the siding with my shoes. He gave me a set of keys to the front door. Looking back i was the only kid in my class that had a set of keys on them.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
Well still, you could jump on your bed without getting in trouble! you could watch extra TV! Or get kidnapped! Yaaaay! /s
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Oh, you could even eat some of the little white candies in the medicine cabinet! Sounds so fun! /s
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OurLadyOfLunch 2 years ago
Shrugs in Gen-X. (Now we realize this isn't OK, but it's how many of us grew up and we didn't think anything of it.)
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
Yes. It was so common. I actually had a key on a string around my neck. And the 2 ends were burned together so I couldn't take it off. We also rode our bikes everywhere! Up into the mountains, down into the drainage ditch, to the movie theater. Etc. wasn't uncommon for an 8 year old to be on their own a couple miles from home with some other kids. Also started walking around the block and knocking on neighbors doors to see if they would come out and play when I was 4y/o. And they did the same.
Load More Replies... Karen Tyas 2 years ago
Imagine yelling at a 6 year old(barely grown out of being a toddler) that you locked out of the house for scuffing the siding 😒
Ace Magruder 2 years ago
Welcome to the Gen-X club. Six might be a little young for this, but what you describe is how it was for most kids I came up with starting @ 7. My parents were bad parents either, it's just how it was.
Rinso the Red 2 years ago
Many in my generation were raised as "latchkey kids". Both parents worked and we had to take care of ourselves most of the time.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
It was fairly normal thing 40 years ago in Eastern Europe. My kid started this a bit older, at 7-8 y.o.now.
Mr Old School Cool 2 years ago
I was a latch key kid, there was literally a key on a nail or something in the outdoor porch closet. It was an old house
gloria benado 2 years ago
They called us " latch key" kids. It was really common for Gen x kids. We turned out ok..well at least we made it to adulthood 😂
#29
Not really f****d up, but my mom did not cook. If she had a choice the kitchen would be an additional closet. She grew up in another country with a driver, maid and cook. She never really learned nor had any real need for food. She lived on coffee and cigarettes.
Growing up I thought a grilled cheese was two pieces of white bread with a slice of kraft American cheese thrown in a microwave for a minute. I didn't know any better until I went a friends and their mom made a real grilled cheese. I was so confused.
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
Congrats on eating a true grilled cheese! You can't die without eating one
N Miller 2 years ago
I may live forever then (not allowed cheese for my health)
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Amy Taylor 2 years ago
This is exactly why I put my kids in the kitchen with me since they were little. I feel like its part of my job to give them valuable life skills. They actually love to cook now and my 14 year old really loves to make breakfast for the family on Sundays :) Teach them to love it, and it's not a chore :)
RafCo (he/him/ele) 2 years ago
My mom never cooked either. Once my mom got her clearance to legally work in the US, sure worked all the time. My grandmother lived with us, and she was a great cook. My mother turned all protein into shoe leather.
Karl Baxter 2 years ago (edited)
Processed cheese slices have their place. The notion that something is better if the ingredients are more expensive is nonsense E.g. replacing sliced white bread with sourdough, cheese slice with aged cheddar, etc.. A BK cheeseburger tastes as good as it does precisely because of the processed cheese slice, the white bun, the ketchup/mustard/mayo triple threat and (of course) the gherkin! 😎
jdtimid123 2 years ago
I'm sure I'll get some flack for this, but sometimes this kind of grilled cheese (except cooked on a stove, not in the microwave) just hits the spot better than using real cheese. Not always, the grilled cheese at my usual cafe is made with (I think) gruyere or maybe muenster cheese. It's definitely not cheddar. Idk why I've never asked. At any rate, it's amazing with their homemade tomato soup. But when I'm home alone, sometimes you just get nostalgic.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Wow. Dad should've thought about this! Unless they went out to dinner all the time, leaving you home alone!
Asphalt Bubblegum 2 years ago
My Sweet Summer Child, lol! My mother's cooking earned Hazmat ratings. I remember when I was 6 yrs old and my parents, their friends, and my brother and I were on a camping/fishing trip in a local wilderness park. Mom insisted on prepping and cooking the fish we caught. She did get the prepping correct at least. Parents and their friends wander off, then return to see me walking a perimeter around the sleeping tents, bending over every five steps to plant small bits of something in the ground. I was asked what I was doing and why. I answered with all the earnest honesty of my tender age, informing them that I was using bits of the fish mom cooked to keep the bugs and bears away from our tents. When dad said bears eat fish, I firmly assured him that bear would die. Mom and i were *never* allowed to live that day down thereafter.
#30
Being abused and/neglected, being responsible for raising my siblings as a child, parents who communicated mainly through belittling, insults, and yelling, never exchanging hugs or affection or saying "I love you" to family members
Phoenix the Frog 2 years ago
Many parents view older kids as pseuparents and except them to raise their 5 kids. So sad
secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
I hope you went no-contact with your parents. They seem like horrible, horrible people. I hope you're ok now
#31
I had a stranger casually invite me to his own to get cat treats. I was a kid outside looking for my lost cat. I declined just thinking "I think I almost found him and will lose him if I leave" Looking back I always think it was very odd how this older man specifically invited me into his home instead of just getting the treats himself and coming back to help.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Child predator. So glad you listened to your instincts. The only and best job they have is to make sure we stay alive and well in any situation.
The Redhead 2 years ago
Good you trusted your instincts. When I was 6 or 7 and had after-school activities gymnastics. One of the employee coache whatever they were called always creeped me out don't know why. His name was Ernie one day he kept insisting I tell him my address. I didn't want to & kept telling him I didn't know it. He kept at it so finally I gave him "my" address which was really my previous address (house number & street) from the state we had recently moved from. I never told my parents about that I made up an excuse about it being boring, they never questioned it & I stopped going. On a completely different subject did your cat ever come home?
K.M. 1 year ago (edited)
People, what goddamn instincts? OP literally wrote the only reason they didn't go with a predator was because they already found the cat and didn't want to lose it. I mean, why you people almost never READ the whole thing and just write your own story about someone else's life experiences? Like, come on...
#32
My mother calling me names and putting down my looks.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Not a good role model for a Young girl. My mother made comments on my weight, and in looking at my childhood pictures, I was not fat, didn't look fat, and there was no reason for her to say this. My sister ps were all on the skinny side, but.. they gave me a huge complex, and I did get fat, to spite her and my dad. Just because I could. Bad decision, but I remedied that as an adult.
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Yeah... this... My mother was SUPER disappointed that i didn't turn out to be the 'pretty little girl' she could show off. As I aged out of childhood, it became clear that I had a misaligned bite, which, of course, affected my looks. Since my parents couldn't afford the surgery (which you shouldn't do on a child anyhow unless it's absolutely life threatening...) to fix my face... she just resented me for being 'ugly', like it was a massive offense to HER that I DARED to not be a pretty little doll for her. So she also resented having to feed me... so... I was called fat - a lot. I was not fat, not even close.
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
My mom told me i was a member of the itty bitty titty club. I wasn't even done developing
Clown fish 2 years ago
I got that from my sister. I'm now a 36 DD and she is a B so I had the last laugh there
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April Hodakowski 2 years ago
My Dad said, "You're pretty. Not beautiful, but pretty." It's no wonder I'm so self conscious about how I look. I can't even look at myself in a mirror.
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 2 years ago
My mom does the exact opposite. I’m trans, and unsupported (but they like to think they’re trans Allie’s bcuz they support everyone but their own kids) but anyway, before realizing I was trans I expressed how a lot of my feminine features I hated and she would tell me I’m not allowed to say I don’t like myself and she would have me say how I loved my body over and over, but never addresses the problem. trying to build up my self esteem really just crushed it becuase in the end when I came out as trans I was not supported and my parents started pushing feminine things onto me.
Catherine Spencer-Mills 2 years ago
I knew I was fat. After all, everyone told me so. Still do. I hate my body.
Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago
There was a time when my father didn't call me by my name, just various insults. Not sure how long it was before I spoke up. After reading these, I must wander whether he was a functional alcoholic as well. Would explain some things... Like why he was killed by his own liver.
#33
Parents fighting and screaming everyday while me and my sisters hid on one of our rooms. Hearing things slam and bang between shouting battles. We grew up poor and a lot of it was financial stress but gotten taken out on all of us. Always needing to "go to the store" which back then i thought was a valid reason, but later found out we couldn't afford to go to the store. Despite this, giving money to church while we struggled to eat.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Giving money to the church and then you all not being able to buy food, is not how a church should operate. I am surprised the pastor or priest didn't notice things were and help you all out. What the hell else was the tithing for? God didn't need it. They didn't need it, and someone from the church should've done something. I am very sorry they didn't. Hypocrisy at its worst.my number one reason, I belong to no church , but still have faith and talk to God, not a person that tells me they are representing Him.
Jay TheSaltLord 2 years ago
The priest at my childhood church spent every homily ranting about the parishoners not giving enough money during collection, while he drove a new bmw that got replaced every year. catholics are strange.
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Appalachian Panda 2 years ago
Churches that ask for tithes from parishioners who they know are in dire straits are a cancer on society. Take care of yourself and your loved ones first. Especially these damn mega churches that beg for money on tv. Its disgusting.
Bloobee bloobee bloo bloo bloo 2 years ago
I’m confused. What does “going to the store” mean if they couldn’t afford to go to the store?
Cathy Payne 2 years ago
I had a friend who tithed 10% of her disability to the church, then got a food package delivered every week like wtf
Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
She does say church not catholic church, im from Ireland and apart from the odd 2/3 euro at mass ive never giving money to the church so im guessing its a dif kinda church
#34
Putting spiders into ant nests thinking I'm a god and watching the titan battle the ant troopers. Ah, the "innocence" of childhood. Now I make bug/bird houses for my garden and try to provide as much habitat for wild creatures as I can. 😂
Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago
Last year, I found a fairly rare spider in the garden. Google said its diet is primarily grasshoppers, so I caught one and put it into its web as a gift. And the spider took it.
#35
Impoverished living conditions. No power or water for weeks at a time, little to no food, worn out clothing and hand me downs.
I started to see how my peers were living and thought maybe something wasn't quite right with my home life.
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Poverty is not the fault of anybody's parents. It's really the fault of the system.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Agreed. My dad worked really hard, more than one job too.
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Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Not right and not fair to raise a kid in those conditions and someone should've noticed and helped!
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
Or maybe decide, as I did, due to circumstances, don't have children. Never changed my stance on this matter even later in life when I was better off and could easily afford to have had kids. No matter, I will leave my estate to causes close to my heart and will make sure that at least two families are taken care of after I'm gone.
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Jenny Fullerton 2 years ago
I don’t know why this photo of clothes line drying is thought to be a symbol of poverty. I live in a fairly affluent suburb in my city in Australia and the Majority of households use a outdoor clothesline to dry washing. Actually that goes for Most of Australia , Rotary clothesline are a classic Australian icon.
#36
Parenting my siblings and ALWAYS BEING THE MEDIATOR
Sarah SH 2 years ago
Yeah I was thinking oldest child. I would think middle kids would have trouble parenting and mediating if one of those siblings is older than them.
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Mim“the Swede”Sorensson 2 years ago (edited)
Middle? This is usually an oldest child thing, I would have said. I recognize that mediating position very well myself…
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Ruth Watry 1 year ago
That was me. It took me years in therapy to learn to interact with other people in a normal way
Catherine Spencer-Mills 2 years ago
My siblings had a fight and someone got skinned. Do not remember the details now, except it was all my fault there was blood on the rug.
#37
During the divorce they would try to get information about each other and say the other one was bad for me.
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
This happens so much. Parents divorcing use their children as pawns in their battles. We suffered this for about 7 years.
Sarah SH 2 years ago
Yup. You can no longer love them both, you have to choose…
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Giavanna Canas 2 years ago
My parents literally still do this to this day even as i'm getting older.
RachAgainstTheMachine 2 years ago
Something very similar happened to me. In fact, my mother and her new boyfriend accused my Dad of sexually abusing me in order to try to win custody. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
#38
I live in England and my uncle's neighbour had a pet monkey living in a big enclosure in his garden. This was in the early 2000s. I assumed this was totally normal. No idea how he got it. We still know those neighbours and it's just never discussed.
Thegoodboi 2 years ago
Nope. To each their own but I will never have a monkey as a pet after those chimpanzee stories 😱
Sarah SH 2 years ago
Yeah those stories are traumatizing. Though I think keeping one as a pet is mean.
Load More Replies... Karen Tyas 2 years ago
“It’s just never discussed”? DISCUSS IT!! Ask the questions, get the sad or hopefully cool story and find out what happened to the monkey. Then you come back and tell me because I’m irrationally invested now.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
It's sad to see people with pet baby monkeys all over instagram knowing what they do to get them :( They are complacent as babies but when they mature, and become difficult to manage, they all abandon them. They. Aren't Pets.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago (edited)
I would be concerned. A lot of monkeys are really adorable, but they are also some of the filthiest animals O_O
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
At least they were not abused other than not being free and in a jungle!
#39
Ive mistaken my fathers confidence with his narcissisms...
Amy Taylor 2 years ago (edited)
*sigh* my lifelong best friend (We're in our early 50's now) is finally grasping that her father is an emotionally abusive narcissist. He's manipulated her for her entire life. She used to get super defensive with me when I've gently pointed it out over the last several decades, but she's now starting to understand. He's not a bad or mean person, but he's controlled her all her life. She is constantly apologizing for things that aren't her fault. She's never been married or had the family she's always wanted because of his controlling nature. He wants her under his thumb.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
That's heartbreaking that she has likely missed her chance to have the family that she would have when she were younger due to manipulation from her controlling father, but it's still possible to have a family of her own with someone now, it's not too late. Therapy would probably be helpful to build some confidence and insight into herself. It would also help her to not repeat the behavior cycle with a potential partner as that can happen easier to those of us who have lived or grown up as children of abuse. I wish her the very best,as well as strength and courage to continue on her journey of awakening.
Load More Replies... Sarah SH 2 years ago
My dad is very narcissistic. Doesn’t respect women. Now two grown daughters with low self-esteem.
#40
Being abused and not getting any attention from my parents
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
2/2 period and always had pads. Sanitary belts etc. the office guidance counselor kept the supplies in her office and never asked any questions just let her get what she needed to help herself each month. My friend was so happy! I know she really appreciated my mom and that my mom taught her how to care for herself during her period, and why. Also made sure she had a good deodorant too, to help out. I have never loved my mother more than when she did this for a friend, a girl she didn't know. She and her family moved the next year, but she took with herself, invaluable knowledge of self care! I asked my mo why she did it, and she said, it is the right thing to do. To help.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
You and your mother are very kind and generous people. Thanks so much for sharing this with your friend, she'll remember you both always. One of my mom's friends, that lives a couple houses down from her and drives the local elementary school route that went to 6th grade, and my mom worked as the bus helper on her bus. She did close to the same thing for a girl on her bus and the girl was so grateful for the help. The bus driver is a very kind and generous person also. You can never go wrong helping children.
Load More Replies... Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Again, I am so sorry! You deserved so much better! I watched true charity of the heart in action and it was the right thing to do. A friend at school belonged to a church that thought women with their periods were dirty and they were not allowed to bathe, or do anything in the church and were kinda just left hanging on what to do about their periods. I told my mom, she smelled bad, like blood, and she often had to get replacement clothes from the office as hers would be stained with blood throughout the day. My wonderful mother, took me to school that day, spoke with the school guidance counselor and , got their permission to be there and what she was there for. So, after our first class, my mom met us and met my friend, did a crash course on menstruation and what to do, and to bathe each day to keep herself clean. The school agreed to let her shower in one of their teachers ' apartment on campus and change clothes if needed. My mom made sure she always had clean clothes when on her
Heather Menard 2 years ago
I was never physically abused. But I think mental abuse and being a ghost are even worse sometimes.
Amanda Witt 2 years ago
There's no or little proof for mental, verbal abuse which I got from my alcoholic father. He'd put his fist within centimetres of mum's face but never actually punch her. At age 20 or so I tried to get help from a youth centre etc but without proof they couldn't do anything
Load More Replies... secretly a kitten wallflower 2 2 years ago
I would've quickly noticed how bad my parents were and hung out at my friends' homes for a while every day
Dimp1961 2 years ago
No you wouldn't because that is your normal and all of us abused kids are isolated and think everyone lives the same way
Load More Replies...Children often experience challenging situations that seem normal to them at the time. When looking back, they may realize that their childhoods weren't always what they seemed. In a similar vein, the story of a teen who faced neglect and bullying within her family illustrates the profound impact of such experiences. Instead of being supported by her mother, she was trapped in an environment that ignored her wellbeing.
This reflects how some children perceive problematic family dynamics as normal, only to later recognize their adverse effects.
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What do you think ?
LilliVB 2 years ago
While I get that for many people normal things that aren't normal during childhood means normalized abuse or poverty, I would like to read an article about normal things in childhood that aren't normal where the posts talk about quirky/odd/funny family habits. All those posts are more or less the same. I feel for the posters of course, but a different kind of list with the same title would be welcome
Tyke 2 years ago (edited)
LilliVB: In my current house, from December 1st "Tomte Gnomes" (home made Swedish gnomes) start popping up on random days in different places. This goes on until Dec 25th... then after Boxing Day they all start going back to the North Pole. They pop up at my parent's too... oddly only when my son and I go there in December. My son thinks the gnomes help Santa make toys and then in December visit some of the children to have a break. He's 4, nearly 5. He thinks this is totally normal and I hope he continues to for a couple more years.
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Kyndal T 2 years ago
A whole list of people. That's sad. I probably have lots of examples myself but my fave is when my mom locked me out of the apartment and I tried to climb the 2 story brick wall with my bare hands. Ripped most of my fingernails off. Still not sure what I was thinking. I was only 6/7 years old though. At school someone asked me what happened and I told them. They (rightly) told the teacher. The teacher called my mom and I got in trouble for "lying". I never went back to that school.
Dodo 2 years ago
I didn't realise families actually liked each other until I was near my 20s. The more I saw a friend with their mother, the more I realised 'oh, that's how it's supposed to work'. Half the stuff they said to their mother (innocent jokey stuff, just being friendly rather than treating the parent as an authority) would have got me in trouble, probably a few months of Silent Treatment.
Linda Lee 2 years ago
And yet Roe vs Wade was just struck down in the United States. Child abuse will continue and the next generation of easily abused workers is ensured.
Load More Replies... LilliVB 2 years ago
While I get that for many people normal things that aren't normal during childhood means normalized abuse or poverty, I would like to read an article about normal things in childhood that aren't normal where the posts talk about quirky/odd/funny family habits. All those posts are more or less the same. I feel for the posters of course, but a different kind of list with the same title would be welcome
Tyke 2 years ago (edited)
LilliVB: In my current house, from December 1st "Tomte Gnomes" (home made Swedish gnomes) start popping up on random days in different places. This goes on until Dec 25th... then after Boxing Day they all start going back to the North Pole. They pop up at my parent's too... oddly only when my son and I go there in December. My son thinks the gnomes help Santa make toys and then in December visit some of the children to have a break. He's 4, nearly 5. He thinks this is totally normal and I hope he continues to for a couple more years.
Load More Replies... Kyndal T 2 years ago
A whole list of people. That's sad. I probably have lots of examples myself but my fave is when my mom locked me out of the apartment and I tried to climb the 2 story brick wall with my bare hands. Ripped most of my fingernails off. Still not sure what I was thinking. I was only 6/7 years old though. At school someone asked me what happened and I told them. They (rightly) told the teacher. The teacher called my mom and I got in trouble for "lying". I never went back to that school.
Dodo 2 years ago
I didn't realise families actually liked each other until I was near my 20s. The more I saw a friend with their mother, the more I realised 'oh, that's how it's supposed to work'. Half the stuff they said to their mother (innocent jokey stuff, just being friendly rather than treating the parent as an authority) would have got me in trouble, probably a few months of Silent Treatment.
Linda Lee 2 years ago
And yet Roe vs Wade was just struck down in the United States. Child abuse will continue and the next generation of easily abused workers is ensured.
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