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Red Flags That People Say Are Dealbreakers, No Matter How Attractive Someone Is
It’s practically a cliche to say that you shouldn’t pursue a partner just for their looks, but there is no denying that we humans are attracted to pretty things. But most of us have the good sense to realize that it’s important to still keep a few “lines in the sand”, no matter how good someone looks.
Someone asked “What’s a non-physical quality that can make someone instantly unattractive, no matter how good they look?” and people listed the things that gave them the ick. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own examples in the comments below.
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#1
There is no such thing as a handsome pigeon kicker. If you are cruel to animals, or beggars, or disabled people, you are extremely unattractive.
Susie Elle 4 weeks ago
I like pigeons. Their cooing reminds me of my grandma's house that had a huge backyard and I would wake up on summer mornings hearing the sound of cooing pigeons. Super relaxing, I still get waves of nostalgia whenever I hear pigeons.
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#2
Anti-vax. I just won't even consider dating someone who is anti-vax.
Dawn Marie 4 weeks ago
Or flat Earthers. Same people, they just will not accept the science. They are the dangerous ones.
#3
-A guy who's unkind to women he doesn't find attractive. HUGE red flag.
-Complaining about wokeness and using slurs.
-Voted for Trump.
#4
Being ungrateful.
There are millions of people on Earth who are just trying to stay alive, but Bradley over here is ungrateful that his parents bought the wrong iPhone.
Julia Mckinney 4 weeks ago
I spend almost every day being grateful for what I've got and have been known to occasionally (anonymously) help others when they need it.
#5
Always on their phone when they are in a social situation.
#6
Inability under any circumstances to say; hello, please, thank you, or sorry.
#7
Self-identifying as an Alpha male.
#8
Being a negative person all the time. A "woe is me" attitude is so irritating.
StrangeOne 4 weeks ago
The person who's always venting and has a bad day, will also be the person who's a martyr in arguments. "Oh, I guess I just deserve to be yelled at. Never do anything right, do I! I'm just a terrible person, huh."
#9
Being condescending. Doesn't matter how attractive you are — if you talk down to people like you're better than them, it's game over.
Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
If you think so little of a person that you're entitled to be condescending to them, why are you wasting time with them in the first place?
#10
Having a nasty personality. I just went on a date with a guy that pulled out his dating app and showed me pictures of other women on there while he made fun of them. He’s a prosecutor. Did not go on another date with him.
#11
Being racist.
Jumping Jellyfishes 4 weeks ago
This was the first one that came to my mind. You can be talking to someone, find you have things in common with them, discover they're funny and intelligent, and come to like them... and then something racist comes out of their mouth and it erases all that immediately
#13
Supporting maga is the greatest turnoff of all time.
#14
Spitting. You’re not cool and you are making the world uglier than it was before you arrived. You are disgusting and an idiot.
Schrödinger's Douchebag 4 weeks ago
Spitting is repulsive. There is no social circumstance where this is acceptable.
#15
25 years ago, I broke it off with a smokin' hot Latin American lawyer with millions of dollars, his own vineyard, and excellent bedroom skills because he snapped his fingers at a waitress in a busy-a*s bar. Instant, incurable ick.
#16
Heavy drinking. Like black out drinking. Like get your life together.
#17
Noisy eaters, chewing with their mouth open. Gotta walk away.
#18
Being excessively loud, trying to dominate conversations.
Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
A friend of ours did that for years. It turns out she was becoming hard of hearing and was uncomfortable with the problem of trying to hear others talk. So she filled in as much of the time with her own voice. Then she got a hearing aid and became a listener.
#19
I was walking down the street with an ex and we walked by a homeless person on the sidewalk. She said, "ugh I wish they'd all die. They're so gross."
That's when I knew.
Crystalwitch60 4 weeks ago
There by the grace off god goes she !! I always tell people that that comment on homeless people ! But then I hve empathy I’ve lived on the streets at 18 escaping a very abusive marriage it was safer ! no one wants to be homeless but s**t happens and it can happen TO EVERYONE ,
#20
Leaving their shopping cart somewhere other than the cert return.
Scott Rackley 4 weeks ago
I get extra points. I always grab one in the lot on the way in. I mean, you walk by the damn thing, grab one.
#21
Being a 1-upper.
StrangeOne 4 weeks ago (edited)
I try not to do this, but me wanting to relate tends to come across as one-upping. But I know there is a difference and what that sounds like. 1-upping "You don't have it as bad as me. I deal with way more than you. So, you should be happy." Relating - "mhmm, yeah. I had a similar experience. ..."
#22
Vanity. If you spend a lot of time talking about how much money you have, how everyone wants you, how you own stock in this and that and this suit is from this designer and this watch is from that designer, it’s an instant turn off and I just assume you’re lying about all of it. .
Julia Mckinney 4 weeks ago
I admit it, I loved to puncture egos way back when but don't really see people like that these days.
#24
Judging people for hobbies that are thought to be out of their age group. I'm in my mid-30s and I collect Pokémon cards, watch anime, play video games etc. Many people would say there's nothing wrong with that, and many would think I have an arrested development.
My wife is cool with it though. That's all that matters to me.
Julia Mckinney 4 weeks ago
My husband just spent 10 minutes listening to me read to him some of the funny parts of a short story I'd just finished. Then he told me about the story he was about to start but couldn't because he realized that if he started it, he'd want to finish it and he needed to get to bed early tonight. Why yes, we are bookworms, why do you ask?
#25
When they only talk about themselves and don't initiate a two way conversation.
Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
The advantage is that people who only talk about themselves very quickly tell you all you need to know about them.
#26
The other day I saw a hot guy in a casual cafeteria style restaurant. He had taken off his shoes and was sitting with his stocking feet on the seat. Big nope.
#27
Smoking, it just stinks a lot.
StrangeOne 4 weeks ago (edited)
It's extremely hazardous to your health to even be around secondhand smoke. You could be a non-smoker, but if you're hanging around cigarette smoke for prolonged periods on a regular basis, you're still breathing it in and can develop the same smoker's lung as a smoker. If a doctor finds out it will go down your insurance records and you'll be labelled as a smoker. I learned that in consumer math when learning about insurance.
#29
I once scored a date with a girl I used to work with back in retail. Absolute rocket. I wasn’t even sure how I landed her in any capacity but, regardless, I got my time with her.
It was cool and all, right up until she began talking about “brown people,” and called them “F*****g pakk**s.”
Didn’t talk to her after that.
As a funny side, however, she left to work elsewhere and dropped back in some year or two later looking for me, wanting to talk. I kept things short and went on my way.
***Her boyfriend is from India.***.
#30
Rudeness, an unwillingness to learn & grow, an inability to participate in *very basic* conversation. The amount of idiots on dating apps, social media and even irl that actually have said "i hate small talk" yet their conversation is still on a 4th grade level. Ick.
Roxy222uk 4 weeks ago
Small talk is absolutely vital social glue. It's not about what's being said, but about the bonds it creates and nurtures. When people are dismissive about small talk they either don't understand what it actually is (and mean, I haven't got time for people talking to me about things I find boring) or they really don't do small talk. In the latter case they have told you they have zero interest in forming even the most fleeting of a bond with any human
#31
Using the “that’s racist” while simultaneously being racist.
#32
Ending every sentence with an upward inflection.
#33
Honestly, if someone’s a walking red flag with toxic vibes, it doesn’t matter how hot they are—*instant turn-off*. If they’re fake as hell, constantly lying or flexing about stuff they don’t have.
Danish Susanne 4 weeks ago
To me it wouldn't matter if they actually had it, bragging all the time is boring.
#34
S****y hygiene, an unkept space, unwilling to try new things, inability to perceive others point of view. Inability to be accountable.
#35
If your only way of making conversations is by talking about other people.
Julia Mckinney 4 weeks ago
Depends on the people. I talk about, in no special order, family, books, jewelry, politics, pop culture, music, whatever book I'm reading at the moment, and/or medical stuff.
#37
Everyone's gonna say being rude or aggressive, but next tier down I think is being a social sponge. Like if I have to lead the entire conversation and all I get are non-committal answers and no questions back... instant bin.
Data1001 4 weeks ago
Give the other person a little time before you 'bin' them, though -- a lot of people are nervous about new relationships, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and generally just wanting to make a good impression, so they can sometimes come off as a bit unresponsive, but would open up once they are more comfortable around you, and you'd experience a more satisfying give-and-take in your interactions.
#38
That sense of entitlement they have therefore they need make no effort because they’re fit and they know it.
Arcady Royzen 4 weeks ago (edited)
Fit as physically fit? That is not an entitlement but a lot of dedication and hard work. You sound bitter because someone rejected you for not being at their fitness level. Now, if the fitness is an obsession, you definitely should stay away from that person. If being fit is a way of living healthier, then you may want to learn a thing or two and, possibly, ask for their advice. Those people will be happy to share with you their journey and maybe make you a part of it
#39
Playing "hard to get".
#40
I’m not judgemental about nice people. But when someone shows me they are judgemental and mean about others, that they think they are better than others, I judge the f**k out of them. Like who do you think you are to judge people like that?
Poll Question
What trait would most likely ruin a first impression for you?
Poor listening skills
Self-centeredness
Judgmental behavior
Impatience
What do you think ?
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 4 weeks ago
Like, using, like, the word like every second, like, word >.<
Julia H 4 weeks ago
At my company I attended a presentation by a super smart person. Clearly he knew his subject. Unfortunately he was nervous and used "like" way too often. In that case. I felt bad for him
Load More Replies...
Sergio Bicerra 4 weeks ago
Guys that spend their days with a toothpick in their mouth to seem tough. Dude, that's gross.
sweet emotion 4 weeks ago (edited)
The person who suddenly gets all intense and right up in your face to tell you why your opinion is completely wrong and his/hers is completely right.......but the topic was only "how do you like your steak cooked?" And that reminds me of my other red flag - Vegans. Not your run-of-the-mill vegetarians, but the alien lifeform holier-than-thou violently-ill-if-they-are-in-the-same-house-as-beef-broth hyperfreaks.
SirWriteALot 4 weeks ago
A big turn off for me is pessmists. If you're always worried or scared or expecting the worst, you're not fun to be around and probably will never try anything new. Because it might be bad.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 4 weeks ago
Like, using, like, the word like every second, like, word >.<
Julia H 4 weeks ago
At my company I attended a presentation by a super smart person. Clearly he knew his subject. Unfortunately he was nervous and used "like" way too often. In that case. I felt bad for him
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra 4 weeks ago
Guys that spend their days with a toothpick in their mouth to seem tough. Dude, that's gross.
sweet emotion 4 weeks ago (edited)
The person who suddenly gets all intense and right up in your face to tell you why your opinion is completely wrong and his/hers is completely right.......but the topic was only "how do you like your steak cooked?" And that reminds me of my other red flag - Vegans. Not your run-of-the-mill vegetarians, but the alien lifeform holier-than-thou violently-ill-if-they-are-in-the-same-house-as-beef-broth hyperfreaks.
SirWriteALot 4 weeks ago
A big turn off for me is pessmists. If you're always worried or scared or expecting the worst, you're not fun to be around and probably will never try anything new. Because it might be bad.
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