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Red Flags That People Say Are Dealbreakers, No Matter How Attractive Someone Is
It’s practically a cliche to say that you shouldn’t pursue a partner just for their looks, but there is no denying that we humans are attracted to pretty things. But most of us have the good sense to realize that it’s important to still keep a few “lines in the sand”, no matter how good someone looks.
Someone asked “What’s a non-physical quality that can make someone instantly unattractive, no matter how good they look?” and people listed the things that gave them the ick. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own examples in the comments below.
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#1
There is no such thing as a handsome pigeon kicker. If you are cruel to animals, or beggars, or disabled people, you are extremely unattractive.
Susie Elle 9 months ago
I like pigeons. Their cooing reminds me of my grandma's house that had a huge backyard and I would wake up on summer mornings hearing the sound of cooing pigeons. Super relaxing, I still get waves of nostalgia whenever I hear pigeons.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
THIS TOTALLY THIS I have no time or tolerance in my world for people that hate animals or abuse them none what so ever
Hippopotamuses 9 months ago
If he kicks pigeons, is cruel to animals, or beggars, or disabled people. Guess who's going to be next!
Jcusack 9 months ago
I had never heard "Pigeon Kicker" until now. Probably because I wouldn't associate myself with someone abusing animals
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Schmebulock 9 months ago (edited)
What if you throw pigeons at a beggar while riding a paraplegic?
RELATED:
#2
Anti-vax. I just won't even consider dating someone who is anti-vax.
Dawn Marie 9 months ago
Or flat Earthers. Same people, they just will not accept the science. They are the dangerous ones.
Rosecrucian Roeth 9 months ago
And now they are running the government...........................right into the ground!
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Panda McPandaface 9 months ago (edited)
... or women if you're a woman and men if you're a man - or how about just 'a person'?
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David 9 months ago
Same, I only date people who support vaccines and want our future kids to be vaccinated. Vaccines are important. I understand for certain vaccines like the flu one, that someone not in an at risk category choosing to not get it (I dont every year, bc I am not in at at risk group), but you better be up to date on all your regular vaccinations.
Robert Beveridge 9 months ago
Why not? If they're rich, marry into the family. Be the beneficiary of the life insurance. Quicker ROI than betting on horse races.
geezeronthehill 9 months ago
If people have an imaginary relationship with reality, sooner or later reality will up and bite them in the fundament.
Definitely a Human 9 months ago
I have noticed that a lot of anti vaxxers rant and say that the government shouldn't be allowed to tell us what to do: and then they get really upset and flustered when you ask if they wear a seatbelt
#3
-A guy who's unkind to women he doesn't find attractive. HUGE red flag.
-Complaining about wokeness and using slurs.
-Voted for Trump.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
They sure did n I’m in uk lol like who wants that vile Oompa Loompa running the country !
Michael Largey 9 months ago
Too many people in my country are two out of three or even three for three. Those traits are certainly related.
#4
Being ungrateful.
There are millions of people on Earth who are just trying to stay alive, but Bradley over here is ungrateful that his parents bought the wrong iPhone.
Julia Mckinney 9 months ago
I spend almost every day being grateful for what I've got and have been known to occasionally (anonymously) help others when they need it.
Papa 9 months ago
One of my favorite quotes is from the Ray Wylie Hubbard song Mother Blues: "On the days when I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, well, I have really good days."
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Alexia 9 months ago
My former high-school boyfriend. The single child of a wealthy family, he'd spend his vacations abroad with his parents, or at family's estate in the mountains. Never had to work until after college graduation, never had to worry about what he'd eat the next day, never heard "we cannot afford this and that". Meanwhile, most people were struggling to survive or to get a job (any job) and the country was going through a deep economic crisis. After graduation, his parents gifted him with an apartment and a new car. Yet, he didn't think he was privileged; rather, that all he had was "normal"' and he was entitled to it. And that other people "should try harder" to reach that level of financial stability.
Hippopotamuses 9 months ago
Sounds like someone else, who's father only gave them a million dollars to go out on their own with!
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 9 months ago
I suspect that Bradley would not be all that grateful even if his parents had bought him the right phone. He has a bigger problem than ingratitude.
#5
Always on their phone when they are in a social situation.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
I would choose my moment and creep silently away. Then call their phone and say "Well, now that I finally have your attention, ..."
Tobias Reaper 9 months ago
I had a friend who used to do this she would ask to meet up for coffee or lunch then text constantly i wouldn't mind but she invited me just plain rude
StrangeOne 9 months ago
I do this out of habit, too. I do notice some waitstaff get a bit annoyed they see us with our phones out. But what they don't know is we're also showing each other cute videos and looking at the latest news to talk about what's going down.
DrBronxx 9 months ago
I have never really returned to the social life I had before the pandemic, and I've noticed recently when socialising that I have an urge to look at my phone for no reason. I don't *think* I've been rude, because I try to be extra aware of it, but I can't guarantee that I haven't.
Rick Murray 9 months ago
So you're with a cute girl (or guy, as per preference) and... you're staring at your phone? Seriously? Why are you even there then?
#6
Inability under any circumstances to say; hello, please, thank you, or sorry.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
This should be no 1 ! no manners are an instant no they cost nothing and lack thereof is plain ignorance and entitlement!all vile traits
Data1001 9 months ago
I have to thank my dad, who showed me the power of appreciation. Not just appreciation towards other people, but appreciating the little things in life. But yeah, I would see him go out of his way to thank somebody (who was often getting paid to do what they did), a genuine heartfelt compliment that the person probably didn't get very often, and I'd see that person suddenly light up from the inside. Amazing what impact a few simple kind words can have.
#7
Self-identifying as an Alpha male.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 9 months ago
Fun fact: those terms were originally used in reference to chickens. So, what you’re really saying is that you’re a cóck.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
They might enjoy being associated with that word.
Load More Replies... #8
Being a negative person all the time. A "woe is me" attitude is so irritating.
StrangeOne 9 months ago
The person who's always venting and has a bad day, will also be the person who's a martyr in arguments. "Oh, I guess I just deserve to be yelled at. Never do anything right, do I! I'm just a terrible person, huh."
Danish Susanne 9 months ago
I also hate people saying that "I am just a terrible person", because It calls for all my willpower not to say "Yes"
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Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
Eugh hate that I’m an optimist and I don’t stress over things I cannot control either
Becca not Becky 9 months ago
Yes! If there is mental illness involved, they need to be taking action to truly deal with it
Michael Largey 9 months ago
It seems to me that the OP's complaining about someone is a strange way to oppose negativity
#9
Being condescending. Doesn't matter how attractive you are — if you talk down to people like you're better than them, it's game over.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
If you think so little of a person that you're entitled to be condescending to them, why are you wasting time with them in the first place?
#10
Having a nasty personality. I just went on a date with a guy that pulled out his dating app and showed me pictures of other women on there while he made fun of them. He’s a prosecutor. Did not go on another date with him.
Robert Beveridge 9 months ago
Dude's a prosecutor... looking at people and finding ways to get past their defenses and convince a justly they're guilty is literally his job. No one's a good enough person to just leave it at the office...
Hippopotamuses 9 months ago
Safe to assume, the conversation was 95% him talking about himself.
Philly Bob 9 months ago
Yeah, because when you're not around, imagine what he tells other about you!
#11
Being racist.
Jumping Jellyfishes 9 months ago
This was the first one that came to my mind. You can be talking to someone, find you have things in common with them, discover they're funny and intelligent, and come to like them... and then something racist comes out of their mouth and it erases all that immediately
Serena Myers 9 months ago
Our new neighbour complimented me on our show of daffodils, tulips, iris etc, early one Spring. I replied, "Yes, it's nice to have a bit of colour, isn't it" and straight away thought "ohhh sh*t" Luckily, he took it the way it was meant, and didn't report me for racism!
Arcady Royzen 9 months ago
I definitely agree with you on this. However, you should always ask the person what they meant by it, depending on the comment, of course. People are brought up with plenty of racial stereotypes and not all of them are open in changing their minds. But some are...
#12
Playing the victim with the inability to admit fault.
#13
Supporting maga is the greatest turnoff of all time.
roddy 9 months ago
As a non-American it astonishes me that people in your country think it is cool to talk this way about others simply because they (checks notes) voted for a different party than they did. Wow. You don't truly live in a democracy unless you can accept that there are people who disagree with you not only on what the important issues are, but on how to handle them. And that, like it or not, their views count as well. Maybe it would help if you guys had more than two parties, as well. Maybe that's why we are not so radically divided into two warring tribes elsewhere. But it's really sad to see half the Americans in the country hating on the other half because the other half got a vote. In a nation that seems to think it invented democracy.
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Libstak 9 months ago
They are nasty and heartless to their fellow man in every way and every time.
Scotira 9 months ago (edited)
I thought I would never encounter one (me living in Switzerland and all that), so we hired an US American from Texas last winter. I was like "ok, could be one of the others" and then I figured out who he voted for. Still kind of ok, maybe he didn't know better as the guy is 25 something years old. That said, I have a patient in radiation treatment who sadly is at the end of all we can do for him. 17 years old, full of life and we all know he'll die in just a couple of month, heartbreaking situation all around. Now the treatment plan I got was suboptimal to say the least. Yes it covers the treatment area, but the way to get the patient in position is difficult for the patient and the RTT and thus increases the treatment time significantly. So I went and asked our "Quota American" why he would do that? The answer: a ton of excuses, this and that, had to be fast... and the last sentence was: "It's a palliative case anyway." I don't remember the last time I was so mad.
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Kim Kermes 9 months ago
Call your members of Congress and Senate. Call all of them. Call for each individual issue. Call their offices in their home states.
James Twong 9 months ago
But why wouldn't anyone support a vain, vulgar, treasonous, misogynist, racist, felonious, r*pist, N*zi, Russian asset who is despised & mocked equally by the majority of the world?
Earonn - 9 months ago
And don't they know it! That's why they try to create a society in which women are slaves.
Lara Verne 9 months ago
I once saw beautiful vintage car, probably from the 1960s, parking on the street. I went closer and there was maga sticker on the car. Ugh.
#14
Spitting. You’re not cool and you are making the world uglier than it was before you arrived. You are disgusting and an idiot.
Schrödinger's Douchebag 9 months ago
Spitting is repulsive. There is no social circumstance where this is acceptable.
Robert Beveridge 9 months ago
I've said it many time and I'll say it many more. Why did spitting stop being illegal and how do we get it illegal again?
Schmebulock 9 months ago
What if it's a contest to see who can spit the farthest and the prize is $10k
Auntriarch 9 months ago
And make sure you drop it in the gutter, not where people will walk
Load More Replies... Roni Stone 9 months ago
Barring disability that could cause spitting - or trump being in the immediate vicinity -I fully agree.
#15
25 years ago, I broke it off with a smokin' hot Latin American lawyer with millions of dollars, his own vineyard, and excellent bedroom skills because he snapped his fingers at a waitress in a busy-a*s bar. Instant, incurable ick.
Gingersnap In Iowa 9 months ago
The only time you should snap your fingers is while singing the theme song to the Adams Family.
Schmebulock 9 months ago
IK. This one time Wonder Woman wanted to marry me and make me king of the amazons, but she snapped her fingers at a waiter and I said hell no!
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
Anyone tries that with my 23 yr old daughter lol or me back in my hospitality days would find their hot food dumped in their laps !!
katiekat0214 9 months ago
And for all who serve, time for malicious compliance: serve, but SLOWLY, very, very slowly
Arcady Royzen 9 months ago
Its all good... But not being able to understand differences in cultural upbringing is an issue here IMO. You may not remember this but during Monica Lewinsky scandal, Bill Clinton was a man of the year in many LA countries. Oh, and BTW this was about 25 years ago... Go figure :)
#16
Heavy drinking. Like black out drinking. Like get your life together.
#17
Noisy eaters, chewing with their mouth open. Gotta walk away.
CanadianaKa 9 months ago
There's an actual condition where hearing people chew will either anger or sicken you, called Misophonia. I have it and it's a nightmare. My father used to smack his lips so often I literally couldn't sit in the front seat of the car near him.
Roni Stone 9 months ago
Same here. I have it and it is so so so so life limiting.
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Johnny McFearless 9 months ago
Also speaking with their mouth full. Absolutely disgusting, makes my stomach turn.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
Ever notice that people who talk with their mouths full are never saying anything worth listening to?
Load More Replies... Arcady Royzen 9 months ago
Not being able to use a knife. Cutting food in pieces before eating it. Switching fork from left to right hand after cutting your food :)
joseph legatt 9 months ago
While not pleasant to an American ear I suggest you avoid Asia. In many cultures this is a sign that you are enjoying the food.
CanadianaKa 9 months ago
Is THAT why? I have been in a number of jobs where at staff luncheons I've had to avoid sitting next to Asian co-workers because the sound is nauseating for me. I wondered why it was generally only Asian folks. Thank you for clarifying!
Load More Replies... Roni Stone 9 months ago
Although I didn't know it at the time, I have misophonia. I once got up in the middle of a college final exam, turned in a nearly blank paper, told my professor, I would rather get an F than get arrested for assaulting the gum popper in the next seat, and left the room. My friends STILL don't understand how this affects me. Hint: ANGER!
Nova Rook 9 months ago
I cannot breathe properly through my nose so as a child I was always eating with my mouth open so I could get some air. Now I (I'm 53 male) I need to pace myself so I can eat and breathe in intervals. Sorry.
Nova Rook 9 months ago
Also, I'm downvoting all comments on this one so I can feel better about myself!
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 9 months ago
You have to factor in the food. Some food cannot be eaten quietly. Try eating hard shell tacos without making a distinct crunching sound. The problem is with people who can be heard eating soup three blocks away.
#18
Being excessively loud, trying to dominate conversations.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
A friend of ours did that for years. It turns out she was becoming hard of hearing and was uncomfortable with the problem of trying to hear others talk. So she filled in as much of the time with her own voice. Then she got a hearing aid and became a listener.
Kat Alison 9 months ago
This should be higher. Most people are too loud, and most people talk too much.
#19
I was walking down the street with an ex and we walked by a homeless person on the sidewalk. She said, "ugh I wish they'd all die. They're so gross."
That's when I knew.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
There by the grace off god goes she !! I always tell people that that comment on homeless people ! But then I hve empathy I’ve lived on the streets at 18 escaping a very abusive marriage it was safer ! no one wants to be homeless but s**t happens and it can happen TO EVERYONE ,
Roxy222uk 9 months ago
It takes nothing to end up homeless! Losing a job with tied accommodation suddenly will do it. Not everyone has family that want to, or even could, help them out.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 9 months ago
This must be why I thought my boyfriend was cuter after he gave a homeless man a few dollars.
JuniorCJ82 9 months ago
I would have given the person a twenty, made eye contact with her, said goodbye, and walk the other way.
Robin DJW 9 months ago
That thinking reveals someone who never had a family member with a serious and dangerous mental illness. That's not to say that all homeless persons are mentally ill. But when you live close to it, you understand it better and feel real grief for the afflicted and by association for some homeless folks.
#20
Leaving their shopping cart somewhere other than the cert return.
Scott Rackley 9 months ago
I get extra points. I always grab one in the lot on the way in. I mean, you walk by the damn thing, grab one.
Sue User 9 months ago
One caveat. If you see a shopping cart by the handicapped parking, please leave it there. Some of us need that extra help, even before we get to store.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
Yes. Just don't block the spot or the access isle when you leave your cart!
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Judy Reynolds 9 months ago
My handicapped friend, back when she could still drive, always left her cart beside the handicapped parking, so the next person didn't have to walk far to get it.
Beak Hookage 9 months ago
I've made a nice chunk of change returning abandoned trolleys. $2 is $2, after all.
#21
Being a 1-upper.
StrangeOne 9 months ago (edited)
I try not to do this, but me wanting to relate tends to come across as one-upping. But I know there is a difference and what that sounds like. 1-upping "You don't have it as bad as me. I deal with way more than you. So, you should be happy." Relating - "mhmm, yeah. I had a similar experience. ..."
Shadow Caster 9 months ago
Sometimes it's important to just listen to the other person when they are sharing their story. They want to be heard and not always related
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
God I loath this the what ever we,ve done they done it better what ever we been thru they been thru worse no tolerance for people like that eugh ick
JuniorCJ82 9 months ago
OMG, yeeesss!!! Like that character Penelope that Kristen Wiig did on SNL!!!
#22
Vanity. If you spend a lot of time talking about how much money you have, how everyone wants you, how you own stock in this and that and this suit is from this designer and this watch is from that designer, it’s an instant turn off and I just assume you’re lying about all of it. .
Julia Mckinney 9 months ago
I admit it, I loved to puncture egos way back when but don't really see people like that these days.
Hippopotamuses 9 months ago
But...but, being an influencer is a real job, and this is truely how I live.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
I don't mind vanity about actual accomplishments. But money, popularity, stock, clothes, and jewelry aren't accomplishments.
StrangeOne 9 months ago
"I am poor and i am happy Your bling bling will never attract me Congratualtions on all your excess" - Bif Naked - "Rich and Filthy"
#23
Lack of empathy.
#24
Judging people for hobbies that are thought to be out of their age group. I'm in my mid-30s and I collect Pokémon cards, watch anime, play video games etc. Many people would say there's nothing wrong with that, and many would think I have an arrested development.
My wife is cool with it though. That's all that matters to me.
Julia Mckinney 9 months ago
My husband just spent 10 minutes listening to me read to him some of the funny parts of a short story I'd just finished. Then he told me about the story he was about to start but couldn't because he realized that if he started it, he'd want to finish it and he needed to get to bed early tonight. Why yes, we are bookworms, why do you ask?
DennyS (denzoren) 9 months ago
I like reading so I have to find something like what the two of you have, that's awesome.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 9 months ago
Be glad you have hobbies. Too many people go "hobbies?? I don't have TIME for hobbies!" Once when me and bf were in the pub, an entire flock of My Little Pony enthusiasts walked in carrying their plushies and stuff. They just came from a convention, it was so cool.
Auntriarch 9 months ago
We had a "bring your meerkats to work day" plushies I hasten to add
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Giuseppe Palmisano 9 months ago
I am a 61 year old man who recently bought himself a set of Lionel trains. My wife plays with them, too.
StrangeOne 9 months ago
I'm so glad society has become more accepting of adults enjoying fun things for all ages. Hence ALL ages.
Tobias Reaper 9 months ago
i am 43 year old man and i love video games i will play them until i cant ill be 80 and trash talking on COD or yelling at my xbox i dont care what people think
Dawn Marie 9 months ago
My son-in-law is a Bronie, I love him, he is a wimp, but I love him none the less because he treats my daughter as if she was the queen. We all have our quirks. I am 60 years and am still in love with Winnie The Pooh. He is all over my home. Hey BP, What is your quirk???!!!???
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
Since when do hobbies have an "age group"? Unless someone is too young to handle scissors or sewing needles safely, any hobby that brings pleasure to any one of any age, it's age-appropriate. With the exception of things that might harm someone.
Auntriarch 9 months ago
Since for ever. Become a man and "put away childish things". Well knickers to that, I say
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 9 months ago
I wear an adorable Pokémon hat with a particular Pokémon on it, and you know who keeps saying they love the hat? Other grownups! One guy even came over to me just to show me his tattoo of the same Pokémon! The moral of the story: there is no such thing as being "too old for Pokémon". Or indeed anything else that's fun! If you think you're too old for fun stuff, it's got nothing to do with your age and everything to do with you being a miserable humourless grouch. If recent tragic news has done anything, it's to reinforce the fact that life is too short.
#25
When they only talk about themselves and don't initiate a two way conversation.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
The advantage is that people who only talk about themselves very quickly tell you all you need to know about them.
Serena Myers 9 months ago
Had a boss like that. Would change any conversation so that he could make it about himself. Would ask someone a question then walk away while they were replying. Biggest sin, in my eyes (or ears in this case) he sniffed, constantly, every two or three minutes, and then after each sniff he would sigh. Triggered my misophonia to the point I could quite cheerfully have hit him. Luckily I found ear buds and white noise compilations that you can mix to match the noises that irritate you so they sorta cancel each other out.
#26
The other day I saw a hot guy in a casual cafeteria style restaurant. He had taken off his shoes and was sitting with his stocking feet on the seat. Big nope.
Susie Elle 9 months ago
Unless it's to fix a sock or something, keep the damn things on
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Brian Droste 9 months ago
If my feet get uncomfortable in public, I will untie my laces to relieve my feet but I will not take off my shoes. No one wants to smell my feet. I don't want to smell other people's feet either.
SirWriteALot 9 months ago
Yet it seems normal for women to do this. I don't know how many times I had girls sit on my couch and putting up their feet. Hello? No I do not want your stinky feet on my couch. Yes they are stinky, you're not made of sugar and spice.
Ace 9 months ago
I often wonder if people with smelly feet completely fail to accept that not everybody is the same. My feet do not smell. Nor do my ski boots, as if to prove it. I really don't know how sweaty I'd need to get, and how long I'd need to leave them unwashed, before a smell developed.
Load More Replies... Roxy222uk 9 months ago (edited)
This one always bamboozles me. Who cares that they can see someone else's socks? Yes, if their feet reek that's something else, but otherwise, let them have their moment of comfort. It is literally not affecting you in any way, except you've decided to be annoyed about it. If you decided not to care your life would be so much better, and they will carry on as before, unaffected either way.
#27
Smoking, it just stinks a lot.
StrangeOne 9 months ago (edited)
It's extremely hazardous to your health to even be around secondhand smoke. You could be a non-smoker, but if you're hanging around cigarette smoke for prolonged periods on a regular basis, you're still breathing it in and can develop the same smoker's lung as a smoker. If a doctor finds out it will go down your insurance records and you'll be labelled as a smoker. I learned that in consumer math when learning about insurance.
V 9 months ago
I don't know why someone down voted you, but here's an upvote. My husband lost his beautiful aunty to cancer caused by secondhand smoke.
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
It's dangerous to people other than the one actually smoking. Smoke yourself to death in private, please, my lungs have enough to deal with, with asthma.
Arcady Royzen 9 months ago
things change over time... and while smoking is now considered dangerous, it was perfectly acceptable everywhere before. I hate when you are bringing smoking but not not smoking pot or puffing pot everywhere. Your asthmas are not acting up or you like getting high from second hand inhaling? Just be reasonable in your comments, please. @strangeone i don't know what insurance company is telling you this but i have never heard of this before.
#28
No sense of humor.
Data1001 9 months ago
This can go too far in the other direction, though. I've lost interest in women who made everything into a joke or a sarcastic comment, but couldn't be real and serious about anything. That got old super fast.
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
Agreed. I've been accused of having no sense of humor because I don't find puns and bodily function jokes to be funny. But I absolutely love when a person doesn't take themselves too seriously and jokes about the absurdity of their own thoughts and behaviors.
Load More Replies... Julia Mckinney 9 months ago
Oh yeah, that's a dealbreaker. My family all tend to have fairly healthy senses of humor. Nothing degrading or horrible. Think Sir Terry Pratchett or the Far Side or maybe Robin Williams.
Auntriarch 9 months ago
Three things that instantly make me think I might get on well with a person!
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Betsy S 9 months ago
I'd say "an incompatible sense of humour with mine" because some people think that being cruel to other people is funny. I do not. Some people think that a dry sense of humour such as typical of the English is not funny. It's about the only sort of comedy I like. I like wit. I can't handle "physical comedy" and can't handle bullying (even if SOME people think that bullying is "a joke" (hint: it's not)).
Lavern Defazio 9 months ago
This. But I admit, my humor is a little dark. But I'm happier than a pig in s**t
StrangeOne 9 months ago
When someone complains someone they're with has no sense of humour, it's not good humour they're referring to.
V 9 months ago
When their entire sense of humour is just punching down on minorities it's not funny.
Load More Replies... Tobias Reaper 9 months ago
this is definitely a deal breaker for me sense of humour is important one of my ex didn't have one and you couldn't joke with her she was to serious. I admit though back then I was a bit immature and not the same person I am today so maybe it was partially my fault for maybe not being serious but no sense of humour at all dont care how hot you are its a no from me.
#29
I once scored a date with a girl I used to work with back in retail. Absolute rocket. I wasn’t even sure how I landed her in any capacity but, regardless, I got my time with her.
It was cool and all, right up until she began talking about “brown people,” and called them “F*****g pakk**s.”
Didn’t talk to her after that.
As a funny side, however, she left to work elsewhere and dropped back in some year or two later looking for me, wanting to talk. I kept things short and went on my way.
***Her boyfriend is from India.***.
Robert Beveridge 9 months ago
I dunno, the second I read "absolute rocket" I heard the rest of it in an Australian accent
Load More Replies... #30
Rudeness, an unwillingness to learn & grow, an inability to participate in *very basic* conversation. The amount of idiots on dating apps, social media and even irl that actually have said "i hate small talk" yet their conversation is still on a 4th grade level. Ick.
Roxy222uk 9 months ago
Small talk is absolutely vital social glue. It's not about what's being said, but about the bonds it creates and nurtures. When people are dismissive about small talk they either don't understand what it actually is (and mean, I haven't got time for people talking to me about things I find boring) or they really don't do small talk. In the latter case they have told you they have zero interest in forming even the most fleeting of a bond with any human
Magenta Blu 9 months ago
Maybe because bonding with people is unsafe and can be even dangerous. Who would want to bond with people willingly?
Load More Replies... #31
Using the “that’s racist” while simultaneously being racist.
#32
Ending every sentence with an upward inflection.
Ace 9 months ago (edited)
Jeezus no. This has been around for a very lo time - there was a period, 30-odd years ago, where Australian soap operas were very popular in the UK, and this rising inflection, which is very common in Aus English. was adopted by many Brits as well, particularly in the "estuary English" that as also becoming more predominant at that time. Annoys the hell out of me too; are you using that imply a question? are you expecting me to respond with an answer?
Load More Replies... SirWriteALot 9 months ago
Also people who add a "yeah?", "okay?" or "right?" at the end of every second sentence. Makes them sound like they're explaining things to an idiot.
Hippopotamuses 9 months ago
My hatred is y'know at the end of every sentence. Actually I often don't!
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KrazyChiMama 9 months ago
And this one time at band camp! Was the first thing that came to my mind lol :D
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 9 months ago
Geez...don't ever visit Australia if you have a problem with this. Most of us talk like that, it's just part of our vernacular.
Julia Mckinney 9 months ago
Darn it, I was going to write a sentence with an upward inflection but realized I couldn't figure out how to type that.
justagirl 9 months ago
what do you mean? like you could just use a question mark? that usually indicates an upward inflection? ;)
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zak 9 months ago
Ah yes, the "valley girl" affectation. Even worse, for me, is the "Disney princess" voice (as I call it).
Dekker451 9 months ago
Do you have a celebrity example of the Disney princess thing?
Load More Replies... Rosecrucian Roeth 9 months ago
I've always thought that when they do that, they are looking for validation without actually asking for it.
#33
Honestly, if someone’s a walking red flag with toxic vibes, it doesn’t matter how hot they are—*instant turn-off*. If they’re fake as hell, constantly lying or flexing about stuff they don’t have.
Danish Susanne 9 months ago
To me it wouldn't matter if they actually had it, bragging all the time is boring.
#34
S****y hygiene, an unkept space, unwilling to try new things, inability to perceive others point of view. Inability to be accountable.
Jonathan K 9 months ago
Unwilling to try new things could be a result of past trauma, etc. When I got with my wife she didn't like to try new things, after 24 years she's happy to.
#35
If your only way of making conversations is by talking about other people.
Julia Mckinney 9 months ago
Depends on the people. I talk about, in no special order, family, books, jewelry, politics, pop culture, music, whatever book I'm reading at the moment, and/or medical stuff.
Dekker451 9 months ago
Then it's not your only way of making conversation, is it?
Load More Replies... Libstak 9 months ago
Its not that you talk about them, its what you say. If everything is putting someone down and being nasty, then preening about how you are nothing like that, would never do anything like that, it gets old real quick. Eventually we catch on that you are all those things and so much more...
Charles McChristy 9 months ago
If they talk about other people then they are definitely talking about you, too.
roddy 9 months ago
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
And those with no minds complain about "wokeness".
Load More Replies... #36
Being emotionally unintelligent.
Robin DJW 9 months ago
Sometimes these are hard to spot. Be careful, folks. A low or missing E.Q. is the lead indicator in emotional abuse.
Kat Alison 9 months ago
People with autism or ADHD can seem like this, though. And they’re not doing it on purpose.
#37
Everyone's gonna say being rude or aggressive, but next tier down I think is being a social sponge. Like if I have to lead the entire conversation and all I get are non-committal answers and no questions back... instant bin.
Data1001 9 months ago
Give the other person a little time before you 'bin' them, though -- a lot of people are nervous about new relationships, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and generally just wanting to make a good impression, so they can sometimes come off as a bit unresponsive, but would open up once they are more comfortable around you, and you'd experience a more satisfying give-and-take in your interactions.
BookFanatic 9 months ago
Yes. I was super nervous on a first date and ended up dating the dude for 10+ years. Sometimes nerves just get the better of us.
Load More Replies... Magenta Blu 9 months ago
I haven't had a conversation in almost 15 years (besides mandatory courtesies with people, greeting, asking nicely for a service, or thanking people for their work).. and I suddenly realized I don't miss talking with people. In fact I hardly notice.. it is like a background noise. Conversation is extremely overrated
#38
That sense of entitlement they have therefore they need make no effort because they’re fit and they know it.
Arcady Royzen 9 months ago (edited)
Fit as physically fit? That is not an entitlement but a lot of dedication and hard work. You sound bitter because someone rejected you for not being at their fitness level. Now, if the fitness is an obsession, you definitely should stay away from that person. If being fit is a way of living healthier, then you may want to learn a thing or two and, possibly, ask for their advice. Those people will be happy to share with you their journey and maybe make you a part of it
Saint_Zipcodus 9 months ago
Not entirely sure, but I think in the UK "fit" can be used as a word for "s3xy".
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#39
Playing "hard to get".
StrangeOne 9 months ago
Sometimes uncertainty and genuine hesitation gets mistaken as playing.
Arcady Royzen 9 months ago
hard to get? to what level? are you referring to actual dating or just sleeping with that person?
Michael Largey 9 months ago
When someone plays hard to get, always let them win. You'll be winning as well.
#40
I’m not judgemental about nice people. But when someone shows me they are judgemental and mean about others, that they think they are better than others, I judge the f**k out of them. Like who do you think you are to judge people like that?
Julia Mckinney 9 months ago
But can I still be judgemental about members of a certain political party cheering as our country is run into the ground?
#41
The “f**k you I got mine” attitude and the wasting energy to mess with someone that doesn’t effect you.
#42
For me it's low IQ and visible stupidity.
Paul C 9 months ago
These are not the same thing at all. I completely agree with visible stupidity, but disagree on low IQ. I've known quite a few people with low IQ who have amazing ability to do things with their hands or are very practical or just some of the nicest people I've met.
Lila Allen 9 months ago
Fully agree. I work with kids with disabilities and they have amazing skills and talents. IQ is very relative. I've had a college professor who was an absolute genius but he couldn't run a dishwasher or drive a car to save his life. Smart is 100% situational. In a library, I'm brilliant. Ask me to figure out what's wrong with any machine and I'm an instant idiot.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 9 months ago
So, those with Intellectual and developmental disabilities? A bit discriminatory. Low IQ doesn't necessarily mean one is outright stupid. My daughter has an assessed low IQ and Intellectual Disability. But she can hold a very intellegent conversation and is really insightful. Probably some of the most open-minded, caring people you'll ever meet, and have an appreciation for the smaller, simpler things in life we overlook. Sorry, but I'm on the opposite side on this. I think it's less attractive to have disdain for those with low IQs and acting like you're better than someone who's just slower.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
Could upvote for visible stupidity, especially in those who seem proud of it. Would downvote for low IQ.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
Disagree with low iq ! That’s just mean but I don’t got time for stupid people lol ignorant yes you can fix that but full on stupidity is incurable lmao
Julia Mckinney 9 months ago (edited)
I try not to be too incredulous when faced with some stupidity but occasionally fail to hide my shock. Like an ex-boyfriend, wayyy in the past, when talking politics, had no idea who was running for president (Reagan/Carter). Or the occasional person I meet these days, not that I see that many people considering I work from home, who believe Trump's lies.
roddy 9 months ago
I've known brain-damaged people who are really nice. One had her skull fractured and was left for dead by an abusive boyfriend. She is the kindest person I know. I don't care that her intellect is not what it was. She has a sunny personality despite the suffering she went through.
Jenn Smith 9 months ago
Stupid is as stupid does... You're probably missing out on a lot of cool people by being so condescending. But willful ignorance, yes. HARD PASS!
The Doom Song 9 months ago
My ex was dumb as wood. Couldn't have a decent conversation at all.
#43
Ending every, or every other sentence, with the filler word: 'Right?'
#44
Giving unsolicited advice.
Danish Susanne 9 months ago
I cannot wholly agree here. It may be unsolicited but still good advice.
Michael Largey 9 months ago (edited)
Ask permission first. If given, go right ahead. If not, find another way to get your point across.
Load More Replies... #45
Bad breath.
#46
Wanting to know what you do for work when they literally just meet you. Even more so if they want to know what you do for work before they know your name or what your actual interests are.
Becca not Becky 9 months ago
Could someone explain this to me? I can see it used as a great conversation starter because people often get passionate about that topic. I would feel weird talking to a stranger on the bus about it but on a date I would think it's fine?
Child of the Stars 9 months ago
A lot of people think it suggests that their job is the only interesting thing about them, but I'm with you. It's a fairly simple icebreaker and has led to some really interesting conversations about things I know little about or we find out we have something in common.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 9 months ago
Work can be a super boring conversation starter. It's a weird question to ask in my parts, but some still ask. There's always a hidden agenda to the question in the form of a possible judgment or mockery. But I guess people just want to know if someone is employed and know roughly what they make.
Elaine Dodge 9 months ago
I'd be more interested if someone sked me if I knew how to care for salamanders before they asked what I did. I don't by the way, but it would be funny and I'd be more likely to remember them.
#47
Insecurity. It causes some many problems.
Ace 9 months ago
Insecurity is not a cause, it's an effect. Rejecting them because of it will just make their problem worse. Make them feel secure instead and they may open up and allow you to see the real person.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
Insecurity is the effect of bad things but in turn also the cause of a different set of bad things.
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#48
Unkindness
Smugness
Lack of respect
You can present me the perfect 11/10 woman to go on a date, who would %110 be into me and the date can end in anyway I desire but the moment she carries herself like she's better then everyone else just for existing and thinks everyone should be grateful if she offered for you like her toes, she can goe lick a dogs a*****e.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
And so vague and subjective as to be meaningless.
Load More Replies... Hippopotamuses 9 months ago (edited)
Mr Trump. Sorry, Mr President. While you're posting on this forum, can I ask you a couple of questions?............
#49
First: Scared to get messy eating ribs on the first date. That’s a deal breaker. I don’t need that negativity in my life. Second: Lacking self confidence.
Roxy222uk 9 months ago
I guess we've found at least one person you should give a body swerve
Load More Replies... Arcady Royzen 9 months ago
That has nothing to do with negativity. If the ribs are done right and fall off the bone, you can eat them with knifed and fork. Now, let's talk about YOU. Are the ribs on the first date is your ultimate personality test? if you answer, yes, it is simply pathetic. If you are forcing people to choose ribs at the restaurant, you are showing a really controlling side of your personality. No wonder, they wouldn't date you. However, if you are feeling that a person who has table manners is out of your league, that would be one sure way to find out. Peace!
Auntriarch 9 months ago (edited)
Oh dear, I'm afraid I would have failed on a date with most Pandas. I don't feel strongly about it with friends, but partner needs to be on the same page. On my second date with Mr Auntriarch, I took him to a Gujarati vegetarian restaurant which only gave you cutlery if you asked for it. If he'd bleated wot no meat or whinged about spices, or worse still voiced a slur about eating with fingers, it would have gone no further. Next time we went there, it was his idea. God I miss that place.
SirWriteALot 9 months ago
I only eat ribs that are so tender the meat slides off the bone, and THEN you can eat with cutlery and not have smelly fingers for the next 3 days.
Lady Eowyn 9 months ago
If you wash your hands with soap and water, your fingers won't be smelly.
Load More Replies... Corvus 9 months ago
This sort of attitude is why everyone hates vegans. Just saying...
Load More Replies... #50
Arrogance can be hot sometimes, but unearned arrogance never is.
Michael Largey 9 months ago
People sometimes confuse impudence with arrogance. The first is sometimes good; the second never is.
Load More Replies... #51
“Dog mom”.
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 9 months ago
What is this supposed to mean? I seriously have no clue what this is.
Panda McPandaface 9 months ago
I'm pretty sure I shall always love my dog more than any human.
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What do you think ?
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 9 months ago
Like, using, like, the word like every second, like, word >.<
Julia H 9 months ago
At my company I attended a presentation by a super smart person. Clearly he knew his subject. Unfortunately he was nervous and used "like" way too often. In that case. I felt bad for him
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Sergio Bicerra 9 months ago
Guys that spend their days with a toothpick in their mouth to seem tough. Dude, that's gross.
sweet emotion 9 months ago (edited)
The person who suddenly gets all intense and right up in your face to tell you why your opinion is completely wrong and his/hers is completely right.......but the topic was only "how do you like your steak cooked?" And that reminds me of my other red flag - Vegans. Not your run-of-the-mill vegetarians, but the alien lifeform holier-than-thou violently-ill-if-they-are-in-the-same-house-as-beef-broth hyperfreaks.
Dekker451 9 months ago (edited)
My D&D DM calls them granolier-than-thou. 😂
Load More Replies... SirWriteALot 9 months ago
A big turn off for me is pessmists. If you're always worried or scared or expecting the worst, you're not fun to be around and probably will never try anything new. Because it might be bad.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 9 months ago
Like, using, like, the word like every second, like, word >.<
Julia H 9 months ago
At my company I attended a presentation by a super smart person. Clearly he knew his subject. Unfortunately he was nervous and used "like" way too often. In that case. I felt bad for him
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra 9 months ago
Guys that spend their days with a toothpick in their mouth to seem tough. Dude, that's gross.
sweet emotion 9 months ago (edited)
The person who suddenly gets all intense and right up in your face to tell you why your opinion is completely wrong and his/hers is completely right.......but the topic was only "how do you like your steak cooked?" And that reminds me of my other red flag - Vegans. Not your run-of-the-mill vegetarians, but the alien lifeform holier-than-thou violently-ill-if-they-are-in-the-same-house-as-beef-broth hyperfreaks.
Dekker451 9 months ago (edited)
My D&D DM calls them granolier-than-thou. 😂
Load More Replies... SirWriteALot 9 months ago
A big turn off for me is pessmists. If you're always worried or scared or expecting the worst, you're not fun to be around and probably will never try anything new. Because it might be bad.
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