Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Rain Dove, a non-binary model, has a unique policy of responding with kindness to the people who message them on Instagram, even if some of the messages initially lack it.

The model’s answer to “are you a man or a woman” is “I am I.” They respond to crude and even violent messages by asking how someone’s day is going, give compliments even in response to insults, and use humor and absurdity to deflect uncomfortable questions. And it might sound a little new-agey, but sometimes Dove finds that responding to someone with compassion and interest is enough to make them re-examine their initial judgemental reactions.

Image credits: Rain Dove

This time, the message was from a parent who was angry and confused that their child had asked for a binder, an article of clothing used to flatten one’s chest. Dove stayed calm, prompted the parent about their reasons for feeling that way, and managed to turn it into a teaching moment by appealing to concern for the child’s well-being.

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Dove makes a strong point that binding with whatever materials you can get your hands on instead of a professionally made article of clothing is dangerous, and suffering alone with mental health issues that you feel like you can’t tell your parents about is also dangerous. When you want your child to feel like they can tell you everything, providing them with an environment where they feel like they can safely explore their identity and go to you for help is crucial.

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Image credits: Rain Dove

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Commenters are inspired by Dove’s approach of being relentlessly kind to the people who message them, trying to get to the bottom of their concerns and find a human side. Not everyone can do what Dove does, and it’s undoubtedly not easy⁠—some of their posts and stories show that not everyone is moved by the tactic. It’s understandable not to want to respond to someone who is sending you angry accusations or calling you names online, and you shouldn’t feel obligated to.

But, amazingly, Dove’s posts show that sometimes anger can be hiding worry about something deeper, and a little bit of compassion can encourage people to see things in a different way.

Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral

Lili ended up in Vilnius, Lithuania out of her curiosity for studying languages, and stayed here out of sheer willpower. She loves cats maybe even a little more than the internet average and enjoys cooking videos despite only fantasizing about being able to make anything more complicated than fried rice.

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As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

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What do you think ?

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Data1001 4 years ago (edited)

Whatever your feelings about this particular story, I have such respect for people who are able to respond to vitriol and anger with compassion. I fear my response in such situations would be a knee-jerk defensive response, but I've seen several first-hand moments where fear and anger was diffused merely by the simple act of kindness and really listening to what the other person was going through, without making judgments.

164points

Annie Berry 3 years ago

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Aidyn06 4 years ago

@lag why do you have to get in to this??? I'm thirteen and my whole life, I've hated who I am. Because I wasn't born in the right body. People like you are what makes life so painful for me. We don't try to make other people trans. But if someone is trans, we encourage them to be themselves. Your "if I don't comment, they will win" comment is bs. There is no war to win. Just the battle that homophobes force us into. This article was about acceptance and love and being yourself. But you turned it into a reason to try and "win". Let me give you some advice, hun, there's nothing to win, but even if there were, we sure would win because of imbeciles like you thinking they know everything opposed to smart, rational, caring people is hardly even fair. So, why don't you crawl back into your little hole and go preach to a wall. I'll bet that wall gives a hundred more sh*ts then I do. Than anyone does. You need to stop trying to change the lifestyles of people you've never met. -Aidyn

75points

Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

Aidyn, lag is what seems to be a new troll within this normally "live and let live" peaceful bunch of boredpandas Your eloquence, intelligence, insightfulness, and self-awareness is something to be admired - it shows a wonderful character. Please now that the *majority* of us, are totally ok with the life you want to live, because quite frankly, it's *your* life. Just as we don't want someone to dictate to us how we should live, we don't want to dictate to others. I hope you're surrounded by people who both respect and support you in your life journey. If not, please know that you have a tribe of us in here, from all around the world, that wish you only good things.

47points

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WillemPenn 4 years ago

Aidyn -- This old as dirt gender queer queen just wanted to let you know it *does* get better. I hear you. Thirteen sucks. Hating one's body is miserable. The unkind things people say are really painful. And the freedom of adulthood still feels like it is unbearably far away. But keep true to yourself, keep moving forward, it is worth it, you are worth it! You are articulate and you have a fire in your spirit and you will find your tribe if you haven't already. It gets much, much better.

31points

Incel Slayer 4 years ago

*HUGS* You're beautiful Aidyn, please remember that for every lag out there there's at least a hundred of us who fully support you being who you are.

25points

Jarno Flinkers 4 years ago

Sorry, I pressed the wrong button. I hope you will love yourself for who you are. You are amazing, every loving and caring person is amazing. I haven't read lag his response, but if he were disrespectful I apologize. He doesn't speak for all of us. I hope you will find happiness.

10points

Leigh Ann Poston 4 years ago

I hope know more people support you than it may seem online. I think you (and all of us) were born in the exact right body because it yours! It is yours to figure out, enjoy, use, modify if and however you want, dress it up however, show it off, hide it, whatever. You get to decide.

7points

Tina Hugh 4 years ago

I think many of the haters have their own gender identity issues and they get triggered. As society gets more tolerant they’ll probably calm down.

3points

Jarno Flinkers 4 years ago

I hope you will love yourself. There's a

2points

Michael Blazewicz 3 months ago

I see it less as being born in the wrong body and more of accepting your body as it was given to you. Strangely it is about being authentic. It’s not just about our minds, but about our whole selves that make us the person we were always designed to be… including our hormones. However, if it is causing physical pain or mental anguish then one needs to address it with a doctors’s help and advice. Being a teenager isn’t easy no matter who you may be or identify as. We all become something new and interesting… some things we like and others we don’t. However, that’s subjective and often based on societal ideals. The main thing is to concentrate on your health and well being, because that’s something that we can all be in charge of.

0points