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Non-Binary Person Teaches This Hateful Parent Tolerance And Their Text Exchange Goes Viral
Rain Dove, a non-binary model, has a unique policy of responding with kindness to the people who message them on Instagram, even if some of the messages initially lack it.
The model’s answer to “are you a man or a woman” is “I am I.” They respond to crude and even violent messages by asking how someone’s day is going, give compliments even in response to insults, and use humor and absurdity to deflect uncomfortable questions. And it might sound a little new-agey, but sometimes Dove finds that responding to someone with compassion and interest is enough to make them re-examine their initial judgemental reactions.
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Image credits: Rain Dove
This time, the message was from a parent who was angry and confused that their child had asked for a binder, an article of clothing used to flatten one’s chest. Dove stayed calm, prompted the parent about their reasons for feeling that way, and managed to turn it into a teaching moment by appealing to concern for the child’s well-being.
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Image credits: Rain Dove
Dove makes a strong point that binding with whatever materials you can get your hands on instead of a professionally made article of clothing is dangerous, and suffering alone with mental health issues that you feel like you can’t tell your parents about is also dangerous. When you want your child to feel like they can tell you everything, providing them with an environment where they feel like they can safely explore their identity and go to you for help is crucial.
Image credits: Rain Dove
Commenters are inspired by Dove’s approach of being relentlessly kind to the people who message them, trying to get to the bottom of their concerns and find a human side. Not everyone can do what Dove does, and it’s undoubtedly not easy—some of their posts and stories show that not everyone is moved by the tactic. It’s understandable not to want to respond to someone who is sending you angry accusations or calling you names online, and you shouldn’t feel obligated to.
But, amazingly, Dove’s posts show that sometimes anger can be hiding worry about something deeper, and a little bit of compassion can encourage people to see things in a different way.
What do you think ?
Data1001 5 years ago (edited)
Whatever your feelings about this particular story, I have such respect for people who are able to respond to vitriol and anger with compassion. I fear my response in such situations would be a knee-jerk defensive response, but I've seen several first-hand moments where fear and anger was diffused merely by the simple act of kindness and really listening to what the other person was going through, without making judgments.
Aidyn06 5 years ago
@lag why do you have to get in to this??? I'm thirteen and my whole life, I've hated who I am. Because I wasn't born in the right body. People like you are what makes life so painful for me. We don't try to make other people trans. But if someone is trans, we encourage them to be themselves. Your "if I don't comment, they will win" comment is bs. There is no war to win. Just the battle that homophobes force us into. This article was about acceptance and love and being yourself. But you turned it into a reason to try and "win". Let me give you some advice, hun, there's nothing to win, but even if there were, we sure would win because of imbeciles like you thinking they know everything opposed to smart, rational, caring people is hardly even fair. So, why don't you crawl back into your little hole and go preach to a wall. I'll bet that wall gives a hundred more sh*ts then I do. Than anyone does. You need to stop trying to change the lifestyles of people you've never met. -Aidyn
Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
Aidyn, lag is what seems to be a new troll within this normally "live and let live" peaceful bunch of boredpandas Your eloquence, intelligence, insightfulness, and self-awareness is something to be admired - it shows a wonderful character. Please now that the *majority* of us, are totally ok with the life you want to live, because quite frankly, it's *your* life. Just as we don't want someone to dictate to us how we should live, we don't want to dictate to others. I hope you're surrounded by people who both respect and support you in your life journey. If not, please know that you have a tribe of us in here, from all around the world, that wish you only good things.
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Emily Joyce-Dial 5 years ago
Rain’s patience and compassion are incredible. This is so lovely and inspiring. ❤️
Data1001 5 years ago (edited)
Whatever your feelings about this particular story, I have such respect for people who are able to respond to vitriol and anger with compassion. I fear my response in such situations would be a knee-jerk defensive response, but I've seen several first-hand moments where fear and anger was diffused merely by the simple act of kindness and really listening to what the other person was going through, without making judgments.
Aidyn06 5 years ago
@lag why do you have to get in to this??? I'm thirteen and my whole life, I've hated who I am. Because I wasn't born in the right body. People like you are what makes life so painful for me. We don't try to make other people trans. But if someone is trans, we encourage them to be themselves. Your "if I don't comment, they will win" comment is bs. There is no war to win. Just the battle that homophobes force us into. This article was about acceptance and love and being yourself. But you turned it into a reason to try and "win". Let me give you some advice, hun, there's nothing to win, but even if there were, we sure would win because of imbeciles like you thinking they know everything opposed to smart, rational, caring people is hardly even fair. So, why don't you crawl back into your little hole and go preach to a wall. I'll bet that wall gives a hundred more sh*ts then I do. Than anyone does. You need to stop trying to change the lifestyles of people you've never met. -Aidyn
Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
Aidyn, lag is what seems to be a new troll within this normally "live and let live" peaceful bunch of boredpandas Your eloquence, intelligence, insightfulness, and self-awareness is something to be admired - it shows a wonderful character. Please now that the *majority* of us, are totally ok with the life you want to live, because quite frankly, it's *your* life. Just as we don't want someone to dictate to us how we should live, we don't want to dictate to others. I hope you're surrounded by people who both respect and support you in your life journey. If not, please know that you have a tribe of us in here, from all around the world, that wish you only good things.
Load More Replies... Emily Joyce-Dial 5 years ago
Rain’s patience and compassion are incredible. This is so lovely and inspiring. ❤️
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