Good day and happy new year.
Please post my story as annonymous. I hope I can get some good advice on how to move forward.
My, now husband, and I got married eight months ago. I met his family three months before the wedding in his home country, we live in different countries. They flew over for the wedding festivities. We had planned a whole weekend celebration starting on Friday and ending on Sunday. I moved to my parent's house for the weekend to make space for them at our house, we had moved in together the year before, however majority of his family chose to stay at a hotel more than 20km away, this led to a series of issues .On Friday they were late because the car we booked to drive them around got stuck in CBD traffic, they couldn't communicate with the driver because they don't speak local languages and English is not basic for all in our country so I had to be a mediator all weekend long 😔. Secondly they decided, together with my husband, to change the time for Saturday's celebration, from morning to afternoon, without my knowledge or permission. This change was done on Friday evening, I heard my mum and my aunt talking, that's how I knew about the time change. When I called my husband to find out how that could've happened, he said he thought speaking to my mum was enough. I was left with the task of calling guests to inform them of the changes in time. After starting three hours later, his family left the celebration early because they were "tired" and needed to rest taking my husband with them, obviously the celebration had to end early. On Sunday I made sure I was on time and we started on time as planned however my husband kept telling me that he's tired the whole day and the celebration ended early because his family was tired and they needed to rest. We did not use the honeymoon suite at the wedding venue because we had to go back home. On the drive home, my husband didn't say a single word to me, he sat infront with his mum and I sat in the back carrying flowers that dripped water on my dress the whole way. When I asked him to stop so we could make space in the boot for the flowers, he refused. At home still no word to me, his family arrived and they were arranging their travel back, I had to speak to the driver because they had made him angry and he was refusing to drive them back to the hotel. Our marriage was not even consummated that night because my husband was angry at me and blaming me for actually wanting to enjoy the day. When I raise the issue and try to explain to him how I felt that weekend, he says I embarrassed him infront of his family and I made them believe that I call all the shots in our relationship. Am I unreasonable for thinking that he didn't actually want to get married? The whole wedding was such a disaster and on
top of it I've learned that though he's divorced in my country, he did not follow a process of filing the divorce in his country. Both himself and his ex-wife live in my country but they got married in their country before they moved so he was supposed to make it known there that he's divorced. Our marriage is not even registered because of that. Am I a bad person for thinking that he only agreed to the wedding because he knew it wouldn't be registered anyway? It was supposed to be the happiest day ever but it turned out be a real source of heartache and disappointment. Am I being a brat for feeling cheated and hurt?
Looking forward to the responses.
Regards
Broken hearted 💔
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Be grateful your marriage isn’t registered, your ‘husband’ is the a here. Get your finances figured out legally and separate. This sounds so awful for you.
I would be more worried about the fact that they are still technically married. Also, a fight with the new in laws is not a great way to start a marriage. You are NTA, that is on him.