For all those ESHs and YTAs; what situation do they think the brother and SIL and kids would be in if OP hadn’t offered rooms to sleep in? Because that’s all she offered, and that’s what they accepted. Since they couldn’t cope with their own children under somebody else’s roof, now they get to do it on their own.

It sounds to me like Taylor was just nodding her head at the conditions, but inwardly not accepting them, and arrived with the assumption that the Nanny was there & would take over the kids, and the cleaning would be done by someone else. And then assumed the OP would step in. NTA for OP, YTA for T&E for ignoring the conditions (and not mentioning, if E knew, that T had PND). I don't care what ESH/YTA peeps think of the OP, because it WAS A MUTUAL AGREEMENT made before they moved in. Opening your home on trust is a big thing, IMO. I bet many have had that moment (me included), and found that trust is broken.

I would have sympathised with the SIL until I found out that she swore at OP. You can't help feeling overwhelmed, but you sure as heck can control your darned language and it shows that SIL feels totally entitled to *demand* help. They are already getting free rent, so to hold up their end of the bargain, they should look at options like hiring their own day visit nanny to help SIL with child/baby wrangling. These are things they are going to have to address when they move out In 6 weeks anyhow.

Lmao what kind of hare brained idiots can accuse someone, who is letting their family stay with them FOR FREE, Of not not being there for their family when they are struggling? It really takes a stunning lack of brain cells to make that connection

Nah, they are taking advantage, boot them.

Look! I may get downvoted for this but, how is she going to manage when she lives in her own place? I raised three daughters alone and got PND after my second, but didn't realise until she was 10 months old. Yes I got help by going to the doctors. To me, it sounds like she thought SIL didn't mean those rules and is utterly taking advantage of this. Your baby cries, soothe it, your daughter HAS to go to school and mom is making absolutely no effort to do so. That's actually illegal in this country (uk). PPD or not, she doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help herself at all. She's NEVER going to be able to cope when she's alone. I do think that it wouldn't have hurt to let her little girl come along though. But you shouldn't have to go looking for a mom when the children are crying. It's the hardest job in the world, but she needs to get help ASAP! I don't want to say the SIL is an AH and I don't think it's fair to label OP as an AH either.

NTA - All the OP was supplying was basically a roof, the rest is on Ellis & Taylor. They are taking advantage. Drama queen Taylor should be going out of her way to adhere to the agreement & Ellis should be doing his fare share. If Taylor needs a "break" she should get a part-time job or go house hunting in the evenings while her hubs is home. I mean come on, it's not that hard unless you expect everyone to do for you. On another note, put that kid in school, she'll adjust, geez, talk about the tail wagging the dog...

Also, if you have any baby sitters in your rolodex, give him the name of a couple and let him hire a baby sitter to watch the kids for a few hours a day, get the baby on a bottle, so the babysitter can feed the baby. Also, have him take his clothes to the laundromat and take the daughter with him. She will love a trip somewhere she will have undivided attention and a few books or coloring books. If he isn't cooking like on the weekends, he needs to fork over money for the food you are cooking. Set up a special box for the daughter and no one else, for snacks box drinks, books and crayons or whatever age appropriate toys she enjoys. Put it where she can reach it , but let her know snacks are only after a meal and after school only. Let her know she will be in control of it but she will follow directions and not munch all day she is home. And , to have this set up, she needs to go to school every day. Have SEllis soend

Taylor isn’t a new mum—the baby is seven months old and she had five years of practice with the daughter already. She does need help, and so does the daughter, but that on her and Ellis. They’re struggling because Ellis, mostly, isn’t pulling weight at home. New job or not he needs to manage this. (My parents had multiple kids close in age and zero nannies or family help and my dad still made sure my mom wasn’t overwhelmed. He has kids; he has to do this.)

NTA. This is why you don't offer to let anyone, family or friends, live in your home. Entitlement eventually rears its head in many cases and suddenly you are being gaslighted.

NTA your house your rules!! You clearly told them B4hand what you expected!! Time to grow TF up. What'll they do when they're in their own place?? Exactly what she gotta do now!!

NTA, and I don't understand those who say that she is! She allowed the 4 of them to stay in her house rent free, and they agreed to the conditions. I'd be showing my gratitude by cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry for everyone! Taylor can't even do it for HER own family. What does she DO all day if she doesn't work, do house chores, or take care of her kids? Didn't she do those things at her other house before they moved? She can also MAKE a 6 year old go to school! Do NOT pick her up early, and if she won't go in the morning, then she stays in bed all day to get better. No TV, video games, etc. If she makes a miraculous recovery, put her to work and tell her she has to have a JOB-----either school or housework. She'll stop her mess REAL QUICK. She's probably just doing what she sees her mom do----playing sick to avoid responsibility. Does Taylor go shopping, off with friends, etc? Those with post partem usually don't do much of ANYTHING. Brother needs to let her OB/GYN know

NTA You've given them free room and board, and all they've done is make you feel uncomfortable IN YOUR OWN HOME. Your home, your space, your rules. If they think that you should help them deal with the fallout from their decisions, they have another think coming. They've imposed quite enough on you and your family. If they can't handle their own problems, that's entirely on them. What would they have done if you hadn't been so accommodating to begin with? They can do that. It's your home, not an hotel. They've overstayed their welcome and abused your generosity. Absolutely in no way at all are you the a*****e. You've gone far enough out of your way. Take your life back.

yeah the woman locking her self in the closet and letting her own kids just go neglected? yeah That is the AH she need to get checked out , theres something wrong with her, and the fact the husband is working so much he cant see it is a huge call, they need to get help and its nothing to this woman that owns the house, shes even offered to help but its up to them to do s**t too

My sister-in-law would have never treated me so poorly. Either one of them! Taylor is obviously suffering from PPD, and she's feeling desperate and alone. The woman needs help for God's sake. Is there an adult in that house to step up and get her some? ESH, except Taylor. OP, look up the meaning of "empathy" in the dictionary. Then look inside yourself and see if you're capable of such an emotion. I can't believe you even had the nerve to post this (albeit anonymously) because it portrays you in such a negative light. If this happened in my family, we would step up, and help our FAMILY member find help for PPD, we would offer comfort and help with her children (also our family). I'm baffled by your lack of care and compassion. It makes me sad for humanity.

Did the brother and Taylor act entitled like this before they moved in? Or is this behavior new. That question is key. If it’s new behavior, she has ppd and needs help from the sister in law (I know it’s not the sahm’s job, but if this is new behavior she should show empathy.) if they were already like this, they need to go.

And in hindsight you letting them stay was a ...?

ok so my take on this YTH in some ways how heartless are you exactly you had a nanny with your own child for heavens sake and you only had one hmm ok so on to your sil she most def has post natal depression shutting herself in the closet says it all and what did you do you hit the roof seriously in your position id hve been like omg love come here huge hug followed by ok what can i do to help and taken some of the pressure off her till your brother got home and im not a people person either but i have a good heart you clearly do not you set unrealistic expectations on them the 6 yr old is being a brat because her mum cant give her the time now this is normal when a new baby arrives and the move etc but she ligit needs to be in school which would help poor taylor this you can help with ie make her go to school either drive her there or look after the baby while she takes her either way stop that behaviour of 6 yr old not going right now and unfreeze that heart of yours yes esh to

I think sometimes people underestimate how extreme PPD can be. It's really intense, debilitating, and devastating. I agree that it's not OP's job to administer the care Taylor needs, but *everything* she's upset about is a symptom of a difficult medical condition, not laziness on their part. It sounds like Taylor is incapable, not unwilling, to meet the agreed upon terms. I vote NAH, but if it were me, I would want to help.

So I know I'm going to get down voted, but certain ethnic groups seem to have no sense of family; or love for any child they didn't give birth to themselves. I really don't understand this mentality, and the fact that her sister in law is suffering means nothing to this woman. Considering she used to have a nanny and she still has a cleaner; even though she's a sahm means she knows it's hard. Yet she doesn't seem to possess a shred of humanity. And literally everybody is agreeing with her is a damning indictment of the cultural mind set and the problems of the nuclear family.

YTA. OP clearly doesn't remember what it was like to be on the edge of breaking down with your kids driving you nuts. Possibly because she only had one and had a nanny so she would have a break. She also has a cleaner. Sounds like OP is spoiled and isn't doing any cleaning either. SIL sounds like she has PPD and is breaking. I can't imagine being so cold that I would not watch the kids for a few mins so mom can take a shower and decompress. Did they break the agreement, yes. But it's not like they are slobs. And OP could be helping them look for a house if she wanted them out sooner.

Oh for pete's sake she's seriously struggling. She's not trying to ignore you, she is simply unable to manage it. You are willing to pay for a hotel, which will not alleviate her struggle at all. Pay for either a care giver / cleaning person for a few hours a week to allow mom some decompression time.