Is OP technically wrong? No, they did clearly break the agreement. But I'm baffled that someone can see their sister-in-law and brother struggling and absolutely refuse to step up even a little. In fact, I'd dare say they'd be out of your hair *sooner* if you helped out. Hiding in a closet from your children because they overwhelm you is not normal mom behavior.

NTA. You open your home to someone with VERY CLEAR CONDITIONS, and those conditions are immediately broken. OP cannot even enjoy her own home due to the mess, stress, and overall bad behavior. If you want to put someone else above your own sanity, peace of mind, and comfort, be my guest, but I surmise most of you wouldn't. OP has been more than generous, Bro and fam have to go. Sorry.

How can you not find a moment to browse rentals? Moving like that was poorly planned but jeez, the older kid should go to school once in a while and then you either wait till the baby naps or you just take the baby on your lap and start browsing. Most sites offer setting up an alert for new listings. WTH is she doing all day? I was so bored home with my babies I would go on hour long walks with them just to pass the time.

NTA, in a nutshell if a person makes the choice to have kids, they should know that they're also responsible for their own kids. If you can't handle more than one kid, don't have another kid or hire a nanny/sitter.

The number of not-doctors diagnosing Taylor with a medical condition is beyond stupid.

Send them to a Long Term Stay Hotel. Residence Inn. Extended Stay Hotel. NOW!

When you open your home, you are literally give up your free space. Peace of mind. The OP is paying all the bills. She is not responsible for a children she did not procreate. Not even here brother and his girlfriend. I have opened my home several times to family. You end up trying to make everyone happy, while you become miserable. The OP is not the bad person. These people are guest innher home., they need to conduct themselves accordingly. If Taylor can't control her kids. She /they should move out. Who wants to pay to be miserable in their own home for someone else's happiness. People make life choices and then expect others to solve their problems. No get back your peace. You and your husband are paying for it.

Have Ellis spend half a day on Saturday with the daughter doing an activity she enjoys, then go for linch or a treat then home. Taylor needs to see the doctor get diagnosed and on medication until this has passed. OP, needs to be firm and supportive, and get them into an extended stay asap.

I agree that they're struggling it's pretty clearly implied that Taylor would take advantage of that. Even after agreeing to the conditions, Taylor is making requests and demands and has exptectations for OP to handle more than was agreed upon. OP gave Taylor an inch, Taylor expects a mile even though they agreed on conditions ahead of time. Imagine how much more Taylor would take if OP agreed to help even in a limited basis. There have been plenty of articles here about how parents would leave they kids with family members to babysit only to not return until several hours after the agreed upon time. Taylor seems exactly the type to expect that. Could OP be better about helping a little? Sure. Does she have to? No, especially since that's not part of their agreement. I feel like ESH but OP is NTA.

The SIL "not being able to look for other housing because of having the kids with her" is BS. Make the older one behave or send her butt to school abd look for other housing. SIL was given the ground rules and is CHOOSING not to follow them.

Obviously it is hard on everyone. First get the school aged child to school. Contact her teacher at the new school and have her assign a buddy or two to the daughter. Put a little surprise in her school lunch to share with her buddies. And let her know, she will go to school and need to stay there. A buddy will really help. Second get Taylor in to see an ob-gyn and diagnosed with ppd. She has it for sure. Get her on some medication and hooked up with a mommy support group for her to attend. Then, set Ellis down and let him know he has failed to follow through on his side of the deal to stay there. Give him a list of extended stay places and he needs to get that done asap. Let him know HE, needs to spend his at home time taking care if the baby and Taylors' other child. They are lacking for adult affection and supervision. She is feeling her mom's stress and so is the baby. He needs to come through. If , if tou

All these armchair internet "doctors" trying to justify this lazy mother by saying she has 'PPD'. PPD is extremely rare and it is not a justification for a mother to ignore her children and get out of her responsibilities, shame on all of you trying to use that as an excuse. Even if she does have it, so what? Push through it! That's what mothers have been doing for millenia! I don't want to hear anymore stories about how mothers are "unsung heroes" and "strong" and " can do it all" if this woman who has nothing else to do BUT take care of her children, chooses to whine and cry about it instead of toughen up and doing what is expected of every other mother on the planet. And why isn't that older daughter in school? You're the parent - Act like it! Agree with the sister, kick their lazy asses out!

Would it be the sign of an absolute Saint if OP was patient with them breaking all the agreements and continued to show compassion and extensive d support for someone who's clearly struggling. Yes. Is OP an a*****e for not letting all their boundaries and agreements get bulldozed and stop providing free housing because they show no sing of change? No. I imagine OP is already stressed, and we have no idea if she was barely keeping her head afloat. Someone else put this really well, many of these YTA would have been telling OP if they refused to house them at all, that "why can't you just lend them a room and stay hands off? YTA." And now they are saying "you can't expect to be able to ignore children like ing in your home.

Taylor's older kid is old enough to go to school, therefore Taylor's kid is old enough to play quietly, read, draw, watch a video or a movie, etc., while Taylor searches online for apartments. Does Taylor's baby not nap during the day? What I'm saying is that even with two kids, there must be some time when Taylor is not caring for her children and could make some attempt at searching for an apartment. Failing that, why can't Taylor and her husband find a realtor with expertise in rentals? They do exist. I agree though that the first step is getting Taylor assessed for PPD, and her husband needs to put his foot down about therapy. Taylor is not her mother; any therapist she sees is not her mother's therapist. It's time to make the effort to get healthier.

I love the amount of people crying about Taylor having PPD, guess what? A LOT of wine have it, I had it and had 2 kids to take care of but they were more important then me and my issues, if she won't even get diagnosed and won't ask her husband to provide the help and her and her issues are Not OPs to deal with and get wanting to kick them out is justified. I never had time away from my kids aside from work and school and I was able to keep it together after a life full of depression, anxiety and PTSD. OPs NTA but her brother and SIL are

Honestly the thing I'm most baffled by here is the fact Taylor and Ellis "can't" make their daughter go to school. I don't care if my kid is 6 or 16 if I know they're not really sick I will DRAG them to the car and take them to school. I understand she's probably having a hard time with the transition (and I'm sure living with an aunt who clearly doesn't want anything to do with her must suck) but if anything that's all the more reason to make her go to school. Give her that routine and that time away from the house she doesn't want to be in.

I'm surprised the solution of making sil get screening and treatment for ppd (hiding in a closet to avoid your screaming baby is a big sign something isn't right with her mental health) (it is also what they reccomend in parenting and natal classes. The Period or Purple Crying is VERY REAL and not walking off and cooling down leads to horrific outcomes)and finding ways to help them find a new place faster. Just compiling listing filtered with their needs or getting them an appointment at an apartment complex could help speed it up. This doesn't need to be scorched earth.

Based on the wording, OP does seem like an AH in general to me. It sounds like she had a lot of support with her kids, between having a cleaner and a nanny. And talking about a 6 year old the way seems very off. I also wonder why she is on the page because she seems very sure that she was NTA, even though she lacks compassion on all levels.

This is where I have a problem with op, is her unrealistic expectations of the baby not crying. Yeah you can try to sooth a baby and get them to quit crying but that's not how it always works. Sometimes babies cry just because and sometimes you can't get them to stop. Just facts, so I'm wondering if her nanny always took care of the crying baby so she didn't have to hear it. 🤔

All you arm chair physicians might want to reconsider that there may be something physically wrong with Taylor. It may well be post partum depression, but an actual doctor needs to see her. It does not seem that her spouse helps her out much. I can understand why the OP is frustrated. But that frustration is affecting everyone else. I think Op might step up a little. For the kids particularly. Maybe give Taylor an afternoon out. It may help relieve some of her anxiety. Me, I never had kids nor did I want them. I knew I would have been a bad mom. But I still think a smack on the butt is a good way to discipline. A last resort. I had a very abusive childhood in many ways and did not want to bring a child into my psychological hell. I've been in therapy for more than 40years. Anyway, I think the people in this story are too self absorbed. No one is really an AH, but they all suck at communication and empathy.

The OP is a Stay At Home Mom of 1, who has a cleaner AND had a Nanny. Good set up, if you can get it. However with all that I wonder how much struggling she has done as a mom. This is where her lack of empathy comes from. True that agreements were made, but coldly enforced, with little empathy and humanity. Would it have killed her to take the neice on her run to the school, and give SIL a small break...NO. But hey, it's not her problem, right. Perhaps OP would be a more empathetic SIL/Aunt but for the fact she CLEARLY dislikes both of those females. This was a bad plan from the jump. Unless OP really believed a whole family could move into her home and have no more impact on her life than a piece of furniture.

I understand how having so much new people including a baby in your house can be so stressful and overwhelming, but there are some things I can't understand in what OP is saying. Ok, Taylor has to manage her own kids and OP is not here to be the parent. That's normal. But if there already is a cleaner in the house, why wan't they do Ellis's laundry ? Ellis can pay. The same if there was a nanny. If everyone pay, why not ? And why refuse to take a little girl out for a few hours when you already go out with your own ? I agree OP opened her house to her brother's family and that's nice, but she seems to put so much pressure on Taylor ! I don't understand why.