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According to dating expert Lillian Czolbe, being open-minded is very important when you date. If you come onto the scene with a list of must-haves and expect each partner to tick all the boxes, you’ll be missing out on a lot of great experiences and fun connections.

Still, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have standards. Sure, it’s good to give people a chance, but once you have a feeling it’s not going anywhere, letting go is the best way to deal with the situation.

Sometimes, one single thing can be a good indicator of a potential relationship’s future. The people who listed their opinions below know that first-hand. Scroll down to read all the deal-breakers and see if you agree.

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#1

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' She started talking about being allergic to cats. I have a cat. She said I could get rid of the cat if it would be getting serious. I ended the date on the spot.

Court_esy , Manja Vitolic Report

Final score:
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While it’s hard to cater to everyone’s wishes, knowing the most common deal-breakers out there can be useful for those looking to improve their second date chances. Some scientists did everyone a favor and put it all in a paper.

They determined 6 different deal-breaker types and surveyed a bunch of people to know the trends. The types are:

  • Being gross – having poor hygiene, being unattractive, STDs.
  • Being addicted – having substance abuse issues, smoking, having a criminal past.
  • Being clingy – acting jealous and controlling.
  • Being promiscuous – having too many casual or serious partners.
  • Being apathetic – showing a lack of attention and trustworthiness, dismissing a partner’s interests.
  • Being unmotivated – lacking ambition or financial prospects, having different worldviews. 
#2

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' How they discuss animals.

How one talks about, discusses and treats animals is very indicative of someones levels of empathy.

lankypiano , Yuliya kota Report

Final score:
198points
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Vasana Phong
Vasana Phong
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who hurt or hate animals for no reason are a different type of breed of people, not a good one

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#3

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' One time a guy showed up to pick me up and was already drunk. I did not let him drive me.

And another time I was on a date, getting to know each other, and I was talking about my brother and his husband, and the guy literally had his face flush and said "you have a gay brother? And you support that?" Date over.

LittleNightBright , energepic.com Report

Final score:
167points
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Dina Anastasakos
Dina Anastasakos
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone shows up for a date drunk, the date sbould be cancelled on the spot!

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While the deal-breakers varied depending on whether people were looking for a short-term relationship or a long-term commitment, the worst offender was the same, and that is being apathetic. In other words, even if you have forgotten to put some deodorant on, you might still get a pass if you show genuine interest in your date.

But don’t expect to get too far while being stinky. Being gross is the second red flag on the list, followed by being clingy, addicted, unmotivated, and promiscuous. So, take a shower, relax, quit smoking, sort out your goals in life, and be selective with who you date, and you’ll be the perfect date. Honestly, after doing so much work on yourself, you’ll probably be too perfect for dating, so enjoy single life!

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#4

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Calling themselves "Alpha" and complaining about "Beta male culture" unprompted. Big ol red flag.

rebelbasestarfleet , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
163points
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Doctor Strange
Doctor Strange
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The 'alpha male' concept was originally based on wolves in captivity, so it was basically like saying you understand human nature because you studied a bunch of prisoners. In reality the 'alpha's' of a pack are the parents. They take care of the pack, keeping them safe and making sure they are happy, healthy, and well fed. So that guy with the knee high socks and waistpack full of snacks making sure his kids and friends are drinking enough water and having a good time? That is the truest alpha male you will find.

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#5

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' When they say all of their EXs are crazy.

Hiberniuss , Prostock-studio Report

Final score:
152points
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Francis
Francis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when a handful of persons only got YOU in common and you say they are crazy...

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#6

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Talking over me. Telling me what to think. Trying to explain my experiences and/or field to me.

anon , Christina @ wocintechchat.com Report

Final score:
143points
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Vasana Phong
Vasana Phong
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can’t stand it too when you’re mid sentence and they start talking about something random cutting you off

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#7

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' When guys sexualize my job.

I’m a nanny/babysitter. I hate when guys talk about it sexually. Like “hmm I wish you were my babysitter”.

anon , Maria Orlova Report

Final score:
141points
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Tuesday
Tuesday
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You'd make a great baby, you seem to have the intellect/social skills/*insert other quality here* of one"

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#8

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' How they treat other people like servers or bartenders. Went on a date with a girl and took her to my old work place where i used to be a server. She treated my old coworker like absolute s**t and tried telling me not to tip her cause she was so bad and she doesn’t need it. When i put $40 on the table she tried taking it so I picked it up and walked over to my old coworker and gave it to her

PersonalDex101 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
136points
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DarkViolet
DarkViolet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How you treat waitstaff tells me whether or not you have any sense of decency. Be rude, condescending, and/or abusive, and the last you'll see of me is the rear--as I walk out of the establishment.

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#9

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Uses the word “females” like their a different species.

SneepSnarp , Polina Zimmerman Report

Final score:
131points
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Corvus
Corvus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's even worse - words like "femoids"... like they are not even living beings.

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#10

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Bringing up zodiac signs and assuming my personality based on my birth date rather than actually trying to getting to know me.

Real story. The guy spent half an hour straight checking up my ascendant sign after my zodiac sign to make assumptions about me right to my face. Boy, get a life first please.

FBrandt , ShintarTatsiana Report

Final score:
129points
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STress (I/me)
STress (I/me)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suffer from essential tremor - non-contagious, mostly harmless medical condition where my hands shake uncontrolably and this is pretty visible. She decided to make my natal chart, and she insisted that the best job for me was being a surgeon. Haven't seen her since.

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#11

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' She literally said to me "If you can't handle me on my worst day, then you don't deserve me on my BEST DAY!"


I just got up and left.
Handle your own damn self.....pft!

Tyrigoth , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:
127points
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#12

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Also, the "mysterious" type. The "come and find out", the "you'll have to wait and see", the "you're not ready yet". It tells me this person is waaaay less interesting than they want to look like, and/or they are hiding something sordid

ElektraBabeOF , Евгений Шухман Report

Final score:
126points
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CouchChihuahua (He/Him)
CouchChihuahua (He/Him)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

their secret turns out to be that their childhood dog died or some s**t and they got hooked on drugs and tried to start a villain arc but failed miserably

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#13

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Sexual double entendres when you’ve literally just met and aren’t quite comfortable with each other yet.

Dramiotic , Alex Green Report

Final score:
122points
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Foxinamug
Foxinamug
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my sister's dates decided to mention 'he could give [her] another white liquid' when she was trying to eat her chicken mayo burger. Really put her off her dinner. There was no second date lol

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#14

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' My ex did … my ex says … my ex does … my ex would never …

kellygrrrl328 Report

Final score:
122points
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#15

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Making fun of other's insecurities.

Boring-Scarcity479 , Keira Burton Report

Final score:
119points
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CouchChihuahua (He/Him)
CouchChihuahua (He/Him)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, u dont make fun of someone who has like depression, adhd, autism, anything just for "fun" that sh!t isnt "cool" or "sigma" its f*****g messed up.

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#16

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' When they try to casually mention how much money they make or how much money their family has. There's nothing wrong with making good money or coming from money, but I don't like it when I get the vibe that someone is using it to try to impress me.

smugmisswoodhouse , Vitaly Taranov Report

Final score:
113points
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Mavis
Mavis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a date, but a new co-worker his first day on the job was telling me how many properties he owns. Urggh.

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#17

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' "I'm a God fearing, virtuous woman..."

Just about every Christian woman I've met turned out to be anything but God fearing and virtuous.

DirtyBullBIG , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:
108points
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Corvus
Corvus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's very much like the "alpha male" thing - if you need to specifically tell people you are (something), then chances are you're not even close to being it.

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#18

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' If they complain nonstop about how miserable they are, they're not going to get better in a relationship. It will only get worse.

xain_the_idiot , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
106points
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#19

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Hi. I'm very fertile.

Loreo1964 , Prostock-studio Report

Final score:
97points
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#20

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' When they trying to control everything. From drinks to food in a second or third date cuz they think I would like what they’ve chosen for me. Or when they still talk about that ex from years ago or trying to find me as their “replacement”
No, I’m not her.

Effective_Math_2717 , https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-looking-at-the-menu-5083912/ Report

Final score:
93points
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Random Panda
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone tries to order drinks or meals for me without my input, done deal. I have a mind and can make my own decisions. Thankyouverymuch.

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#21

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Judgmental people. Those who judge what you like, who judge other peoples appearances, who make no effort to understand where another person's words/actions are coming from even when it doesn't affect them, who feel it's okay to laugh at other people.

supremepotato770 , Liza Summer Report

Final score:
93points
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#22

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Someone who posts that they are looking for a serious relationship and when you match with them they turn it super sexual reallllll fast

I actually ended up calling a guy out on this and he told me he puts that he wants a relationship because he gets more matches even when he just wants a hookup.... gross

anon , Good Faces Agency Report

Final score:
92points
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#23

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' When they ask about what kind of music I like and the minute they hear some of it is korean/kpop/krap and they go "but they're so gay!" or "they wear makeup tho" or anything along those lines.

It's usually the same men with the old ideas of masculinity I'd prefer not to live with.

SheIsLikeAWildflower , wikipedia Report

Final score:
92points
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Corvus
Corvus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fun trivia: in ancient times, men often wore as much (if not even more!) makeup/jewelry as women.

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#24

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' I am a single mom. So it's usual for guys to ask questions about my kids when I first start talking/dating them. They want to know about the situation they are getting into so that's reasonable. That said one guy was super focused on my kids and that's all he wanted to talk about. Even when I would try and change the subject he would bring the conversation right back to them. I stopped talking to him immediately.

Dull-Geologist-8204 , Josh Willink Report

Final score:
89points
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Corvus
Corvus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You have kids? Good, my plans for building my own army of small-sized assassins are about to be fulfilled!" :D

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#25

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' If the person doesn't want to make the relationship public.

SanketManiyar , Odonata Wellnesscenter Report

Final score:
83points
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Nannychachi
Nannychachi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, my husband (19 years now) didn't tell anyone he worked with or his family about us. If they found out that was okay, but no sharing info about a new relationship. He's just a very private person and likes to keep personal things to himself. And, we were in our forties when we started dating after each having a failed marriage.

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#26

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' When it's your first time meeting, at a coffee shop to be safe. You order she shows up and starts going on about "how they were right we were meant to be together" "I am going to tell my doctor how wrong he was you are my husband" etc.

I didn't even get my coffee before I left, there was more along those lines but gave me huge nope vibes. It was a blind date she apparently knew my best friend and all that. I spoke to said friend after he had no idea who tf she was.

She became a stalker for awhile after, ended up changing cars, moving house, a large distance, and basically was terrified of leaving the house for awhile. Haven't tried dating since really.

azazeldeath , Gian Cescon Report

Final score:
80points
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#27

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' When they call themselves sigma males and immediately start going down the route of “how easy it is to be a woman and raise a hue and cry about something”. I know this sounds specific but it has happened so many times!

zipzapzoop93 , James Barr Report

Final score:
71points
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VioletHunter
VioletHunter
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish it were possible to actually switch these guys into a female body overnight. They'd be crying and weeping to be changed back in under a week.

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#28

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' If you meet them whilst they are dating someone else, but their relationship is coming to an end. You two are getting on real well, all of a sudden...oh they won't leave you for someone else, oh no.

They will. Yes, they will.

gliitch0xFF , Vera Arsic Report

Final score:
70points
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#29

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Doesn't matter if they directly say it, or because of their actions, but the 'I can't be alone' people. Sometimes they will straight up tell you this, or it will become clear as they've been with many people with no or little time in between those relationships.

Most of the time dating people who are like that, will end up realising that this is not what they want, and that they 'have to work on themselves' (bonus points if they say it is because they thought they were over 'x' or 'y', but aren't yet)

nolongerredditless , Engin Akyurt Report

Final score:
55points
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Celtic Pirate Queen
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being really needy/clingy/insecure. My ex was like that. Was constantly pawing at me & trying to get me to have sex to "prove" that I really loved him. If I wanted to read my new book, he heard "I don't want to spend time with you". It was exhausting. After 12 years, I'd had it. He started in on the badgering for sex c**p and when I said no, he went to "You don't love me anymore" And I just snapped. I said, "You know what Mike? You're absolutely f*cking right, I DON'T love you anymore. I want a divorce". He tried to back peddle, but the second the words were out of my mouth I felt peace. It still took 3 months to move out, but in the meantime I explained EXACTLY why I was leaving him. He told everyone I wouldn't have sex with him because I was cheating on him & that's why we broke up. Every single one of our mutual friends, who knew me really well, were like, "Bullsh*t, Dude".

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#30

30 People Share What Their Date Said That Made Them Instantly Think 'Run!' Y amount of kids from x amount of partners where x is greater than 1. I have no problem dating a woman with kids, I enjoy kids. I have a problem when they have 2-3 kids from 2-3 partners. That tells me this person makes bad decisions.

tff_silverton , Marisa Howenstine Report

Final score:
46points
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ElvenFairy
ElvenFairy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 2 kids from 2 different Dads. The first one I was with a man that changed to violence once I had the baby so we left eventually for our safety. It was a committed and long term relationship up to this point. My second child was with a man I married and was with for 12 years. It was less, bad choices and more life just being life. I am remarried now and if I could have more kids I would and it would be three for three.

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