Common sense isn’t common. It really isn’t. The people who most intimately know how true this adage is are doctors and healthcare professionals. In their line of work, even grown-up patients can’t be expected to act, well, like grown-ups.
Adults don’t always behave rationally, and sometimes, common sense leaves them completely to go on a two-week all-expenses-paid vacation to Bermuda. Because it’s fun to learn what glaring flaws other adults have, here’s a list of the best things doctors never thought they’d have to tell other grown-ups. So scroll down, and upvote the best responses, and let us know which ones are your favorites.
When you’ve read through this list, check out Bored Panda’s previous articles about a coloring book for grown-ups, the best Halloween costume ideas for grown-up kids, and how a mom made her kids apply for household chores like you’d apply for jobs.
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My first job after graduating high school involved instrument sterilization at a dental office. One day an elderly woman came in with a complaint of chronic halitosis (bad breath) and stomach problems. Standard procedure for admitting a new patient is to take x rays after removing all metals from the neck and up. The woman carefully pulled out her jewelry and hair pins and the panoramic x-ray was taken and quickly developed. With the imagery in hand, the tech noticed that the woman had not removed her upper denture. The tech returned to the room and let the patient know that she had accidentally left her dentures in and that the x-ray would have to be re-done. At this point the woman expressed confusion about taking out her dentures, the creeping horror set in once the tech realized that the patient had never removed her dentures from her mouth for several years. Our dentist came into the room and explained proper denture care with her before explaining that he needed to have a look give them the circumstances... he pulled out the denture and discovered, to his horror, that the patient not only had maggots underneath the dentures in her mouth but that her hard palate had completely disintegrated. The miasma that swept through the office resulted in cancellations of all appointments for the rest of the day to ventilate the office and clean up all of the staff vomit.... Yes, you HAVE to wash your dentures daily!
Apart from the halitosis, didn't she feel pain? The pain of your palate disintegrating must be excruciating! Sometimes, people really mystify me!
Maggots? That would mean that flies would have had to have been in her mouth. Perhaps while sleeping? SOOOO disgusting.
Those must have been some great fitting dentures! Mine are falling out after 3 hours!
I see "Yes, you HAVE to wash your dentures daily!" at the end and feel no need to read what's before that. (Especially as I'm now eating my breakfast...)
There are maggots and vomit involved (muahahaha) ________ sorry, couldn't resist. BTW, I had to google the word miasma
Load More Replies...How do maggots get in the mouth of a living being???? They don’t just spawn there
Maybe she sleeps with her mouth open and a fly was attracted to the stink coming from her mouth
Load More Replies...You feel fine because you took your meds, not because you don't need them anymore.
Even doctors seem to think that because you are feeling better, you don't need to take your anti-depressants anymore!
Load More Replies...Yep. Also there are types you must not "just" stop taking, like antidepressants, because not only do you risk hardcore withdrawal which can lead to death because of shock to the body but it also means whatever you treated with it often comes back even worse. Also if you take antibiotics.. don't stop taking them when you "feel cured", you got a course of 10 days? You take the full 10 days. Not only do you risk infection coming back worse, but also that it's resistant to whatever antibiotic you were on which is how we get super resistant strains... same with "leftover" antibiotic - do *not* start treating something with it. It's not a cure-all, even if it's broad spectrum it might not work because it's the wrong strain. It might be a virus, also having no effect, or it might be fungus which grows even wilder when on antibiotics because since you don't have anything for the antibiotics to actually treat it's killing of your natural defense against fungus :B
Also, not taking your antidepressants is life-threatening because it can lead to suicide, sadly.
Load More Replies...Some meds make me sicker. Had to stop taking my cholesterol medicine because it was making my lungs fill with fluid and I was constantly coughing and hacking but not bringing anything up. I'd rather die of high cholesterol than drown in my own fluids.
Ehhh... that's important to take up with your doctor because it can be a sign of hidden heart problems... that'll kill you along or quicker with cholesterol.
Load More Replies...This is importnt doe both mental and physical diseases. I made the mistake myself with depression and anxiety, retaking the meds was harder than starting them, plus people who work with infectuous diseases admit that many cases of strep go untreated because people only take the antibiotics until they feel a bit better, while the bacteria still live inside them, leading to many extra cases. Just do what the doctor says, kids.
everyone with high blood pressure "but my bp is always normal" me-"ya bcuz the meds u need to take" x[
In schizophrenics it's not a "mistake", but an aspect of their illness.
Load More Replies...Or you take double doses so you’ll get better twice as fast. My father was a pharmacist for 45 years before he retired, and if he had a nickel for every time he heard that one (amongst others), he’d have been a zillionaire long before then.
Yes, you smoking in your house is likely making your kid’s asthma worse.
My dad knew this and STILL smoked like a chimney around us. Worse still, my mother who is a chronic asthmatic and had regular and severe asthma attacks many of which nearly killed her (thank God for ventillon Sprays) and yet he never stopped. And people wonder why now he's dead I don't miss the selfish bastard.
Some parents just don't care. My dad smoked in the house despite my youngest brother having asthma. I pointed out that he was making the asthma worse and he said it was his house and he would smoke wherever he wanted. What a douche!
The parent of an asmathic child who smokes in a closed space next to the kid should be accused of child abuse. They are killing their child, literally.
Also, spoiler alert, you might leave your kid an orphan soon than you thought because of it.
Gave up in my 30's. Decided my health was more important. Do not see her any more.
Load More Replies...I used to rent condos at a beach resort, and once had a woman complain that the air in the *non-smoking* condo she rented was making her kid’s asthma act up, even though the condos were professionally cleaned and freshened after every renter left. We watched her drive away after moving her to another place (that allowed smoking this time, because she stunk of it when she came into the office). She got in an old clunker car that blew smoke out of its exhaust pipe, lit up a cigarette, and drove away with the windows closed—-and her young son in the front seat (this was before it was illegal, and her car was too old for airbags). Heard no more complaints from her. Sure lady, it was the air in the condo that aggravated your son’s asthma, and not the fact that you couldn’t smoke like a freight train, that was the problem.
I have a coworker that insists that second hand smoking has never killed anyone and is in fact not even a real thing...no he doesn't smoke... except maybe...well we live in California...
There was a famous case in Canada -- Heather Crowe, a non-smoker, died of lung cancer after working for decades as a waitress when smoking was allowed in restaurants.
Load More Replies...It’s also harmful for your pets! When we were smokers we smoked outside because I didn’t want everything smelling horrible and our cats didn’t deserve it. 16 year old guy laying with me now, meow! 😻
My mother smoked and her cat died of cancer. Pets do die from passive smoking.
Load More Replies...A recent Reddit thread about the most peculiar, obvious and common sense things healthcare professionals had to tell their patients received more than 26,600 upvotes and got over 11,900 comments. It’s pretty incredible how quickly the thread went viral, but it’s no surprise why it became so popular. I chuckled at how one doctor had to tell a patient that ‘probiotic’ and ‘antibiotic’ aren’t the same thing. Be sure to scroll down and check out our interview with Reddit user elleboes who made the Reddit thread in the first place.
A couple instances come to mind. 1) Don’t have sex 6 hours after you delivered a baby. 2) Coffee creamer is not the same as infant formula. Please do not feed your day old newborn International Delight. 3) Probiotics are different from antibiotics. Probiotics do not cure syphilis.
A woman who is raped is very often blamed for it. TAKE IT OUT ON HER BASTARD OF A HUSBAND!
Load More Replies...6 weeks! The recommendation is 6 weeks! After birth, you will have an open wound inside your body the size of a grapefruit and bleed respectively. AND you will have to pour cold water down your private parts while peeing to ease the stinging burning sensation. Your undies will, despite pads, look like requisites from a splatter movie. Chances are you can't even properly walk. 6 hours *short of derision*
I don't know why a doctor who delivers a baby, can not have sex for six hours 😂
Wait.... Babies can't have International Delight? What about Coffee Mate?
Regarding number 1, in certain cultures the woman has no choice with the husband demanding she return to all "duties" immediately so he is not inconvenienced.
In other words, she is subjected to spousal rape immediately after giving birth. Calling that "culture" is to give the abusers a helping hand, and I do not believe it to be true. Ignorant abusers of all stripes, colours, and ethnicities may be guilty of this, but please do not blame "certain cultures", especially not without sources.
Load More Replies...I know you are trying to help but you don't do CPR on someone who is actively telling you to stop between compressions
WTF? How can someone know enough to do CPR and not know how to tell if a person is breathing or conscious - let alone TALKING?!!
They probably aren't doing it right. Just saw it on tv
Load More Replies...At my son's middle school graduation, a man fainted. A woman ran over and started chest compressions without any of the preliminary checks. It was horrifying (and a little hilarious, tbh). Thank goodness a police officer was there and he intervened.
LOL Shut up. You need mouth to mouth lady . And according to the movies I have to cut off your top as well.
Something my CPR instructor told us is to remember that if you are performing CPR on someone they are already clinically dead. This aligns with saying AVOID CPR if they are not already in this state.
During our last CPR refresher the trainer who was also an EMT told us that he arrived at a scene to someone doing active CPR on a decapitated body, he said the head was about 30ft away but were still going just pumping blood out the neck!
This happened to me. I got choked but was just coughing and still breathing. My grandma came running up and tried to give me the Heimlich!
Jumping from a first floor balcony onto an alfresco dining shade umbrella below will not make you bounce up and down like you are on a trampoline. Instead your 100kg body will simply crash through the fabric onto the footpath below and break both your arms. You will not impress the ladies with this, like you originally intended - and besides, what exactly is a semi-obese man in his forties still doing trying to impress women like that? (What I actually said to him, which encapsulated all of the above, was ''what part of you thought it was a good idea?", followed by ''and remind me how old you are again?").
Nah, totally fine to laugh at this, that idiot deserves it.
Load More Replies...I'm wondering why a forty-something guy was still going by cartoon logic.
Let's hope he doesn't chase a road runner and run off a cliff while carrying an ACME anvil.
Load More Replies...I remember being deeply offended when my mum told me, aged 6, in the middle of HPmania, that broomsticks don't fly. And he's 40?
Uh, even if you are a healthy man in your 40s, why would you try to impress women like that? Why would any man, of any age, of any health status, try to impress women like that?
Patients can be a hassle to work with because even matter-of-fact things need to be explained to them. But that isn’t the only thing that bothers doctors. See, sometimes patients leave out some basic but very important information during doctors visits
No. I cannot tell the race of your baby on ultrasound. You’ll have to wait until birth to have an awkward conversation with one of your boyfriends.
Still better do a DNA test to be sure - oh wait, that'd mean telling the truth, can't have that.
as I understand, you have to wait until the baby is born to get a DNA test. that happened to a friend my mine 10 years ago. Who knows technology has changed?
Load More Replies...Yeah, she better talk and be honest with both of them
Load More Replies...The post itself and the responses are really disheartening. What if the woman broke up one week (long time coming) and two weeks later was dating someone else she'd known a long time? Has it never happened? Does that somehow make her a s**t? Or what if she had been raped? Or what if she's openly poly, then it shouldn't be an awkward conversation with her boyfriends at all. If it were a medical professional who posted this, shame on you for that second sentence of unsolicited judging.
Duplicate comment: The post itself and the responses are really disheartening. What if the woman broke up one week (long time coming) and two weeks later was dating someone else she'd known a long time? Has it never happened? Does that somehow make her a s**t? Or what if she had been raped? Or what if she's openly poly, then it shouldn't be an awkward conversation with her boyfriends at all. If it were a medical professional who posted this, shame on you for that second sentence of unsolicited judging.
Load More Replies...I was waiting to get my colonoscopy done a couple of years ago and they were asking the lady in the next station if she'd fasted. They went through all the questions and double checked that she had fasted, then after confirming, almost as an aside she throws in that she had oatmeal for breakfast that morning. Nurse: Ma'am, fasting means you can't eat anything before the exam. Lady: I know. But I always have oatmeal for breakfast. Nurse: I understand. But you can't eat before this exam. The doctor has to look at your digestive system. Lady: But oatmeal is good for digestion. Nurse: You can't eat anything before this exam. You have to be completely fasted so he can look at your intestines. Lady: But I always have oatmeal for breakfast.
last words of the lady lying on her deathbed..."...but....I....always.....have.....oatm......!"
Being a former employee of the gastroenterology department I can't even tell you how many times I had to deal with people like this...the best question I used to get was "is beer a clear liquid?"
My Grandma is somewhat like that... She's always been a bit stubborn, but as of late, she suffers heavily from dementia, repeating conversations endlessly. Considering her mental decay over the last year or so, it's just a matter of time until this will end, though =/
Dementia is a legit excuse for forgetting to fast. That means someone would have to babysit her. I hope your grandmother is at least good-natured. My mother-in-law was a sweetheart, but my mother could be violent (she's in a wheelchair now). Luckily, I've had some adorable residents at the home to visit. It's rough watching someone deteriorate, but I do have fond memories of singing to my mother-in-law. I'm really glad I got to spend that time with her.
Load More Replies...🤣 Sometimes you have to break it down clearly, directly and specifically. Yes, they were clear and direct, but clearly this woman was not getting it... "You cannot eat anything before this exam, not even breakfast, even if that breakfast is oatmeal. ZERO percent food. Got it? ZERO PERCENT!! Oh, what's that? Oatmeal is food?? Guess you can't have it then because you cannot have ANY food... ZERO PERCENT FOOD before this exam!!!!"
I have overheard similar conversations. Once, I heard a nurse confirming that a patient had not drank any liquids that morning. The patient assured her that she had NO liquids, but added, "Except the glass of water I drank when I took my vitamins". I feel sorry for nurses and the c**p they have to put up with.
Was she elderly and cognitively slowing down? That’s the impression I’m getting...
Lets hope for that. Allot of people are actually this f*****g stupid
Load More Replies...My wife is an x-ray tech, and the advice she dispenses most often is "if it doesn't have a handle, don't stick it up your ass." To be fair, she can't legally give medical advice, but that's some good general advice, right there.
I mean... even if it does have a handle, at least pause and decide if this is the best life choice you can make for yourself.
Other than a suppository and/or thermometer I think your rear end should have an exit only sign on it.
the logician in me thinks she should have said "IFF it doesn't have a handle, don't stick it up your a*s."
If she led if with "in my experience" would it be considered medical advice or personal advice?
Best Life reveals that it’s important to let your doctor know if you spend lots of time in front of the computer screen, even if you’re embarrassed to tell them the real number. Furthermore, healthcare professionals really need to know if you’ve lost a lot of weight without trying, if you’re experiencing chest pains or if your poop is black.
Children's oral antibiotics prescribed for ear infections (which are usually pink, sweet, fruit flavored liquids), are meant to be delivered into the mouth and NOT directly into the ear canal. Yes. This happens. More often than you can imagine.
Oh, so THIS is why meds say "Take 2 tablespoons (30ml) BY MOUTH twice daily". Who knew?
On the other hand, those thick, nasty ear drops aren’t meant to be taken orally. Yes, that happens, too.
how hard is reading the instructions on something as important as meds!! My mom had a friend, who had two kids, even though she took the pill. My mom joked to her about wanting kids and taking some antibiotics and the lady didn't get the joke. I now know how she got her kids through the pill
Just reminded me. I gave my 3 year old cold medicine in the syringe dropper thing. Told her it will help her nose. 3 year old proceeds to insert dropper into nose. Was thankfully quick enough to stop the situation.
Yeah. I worked in a pharmacy for years - totally true. You also have to be sure to put ‘UNWRAP and insert’ on suppositories
I remember swallowing a huge pill then discovered there was a long tube in the package... Er ... I had swallowed a suppository. Needless to say, I spoke to the pharmacist who advised that I would be ok. The ailment for which the pill was intended was cured despite taking the pill wrongly. Being friends with the pharmacist - I was the butt end of some jokes for a while!
Load More Replies...My great grandfather had onions jammed into his ears for his ear infection. Needless to say he became deaf
The only thing that kills the bacteria that cause ear infections is apple cider vinegar. Unpasteurized, organic apple cider vinegar. I used Bragg's and finally got rid of recurring ear infections. I put some in one ear and stayed on my side for 15 minutes. Then I did the other ear. I did that for 10 days in a row and I've never had another ear infection. I did the 10-day regimen because the vinegar worked on the ear infections but I still got another afterward. Then I realized I needed to wipe the bacteria out and that did it. You can find this with an internet search.
Load More Replies...Primary Care Doc here, here’s a few of my favorite things I’ve had to tell patients Please leave your marijuana/pipe/joint/paraphernalia in your vehicle or at home; don’t bring it to your appointment You don’t need to bring a hunting knife to your appointment. No I can’t write you a letter saying your rabbit is a service animal so you can fly it around the country with you for free. Showing up drunk to an 8am appointment and asking me to prescribe you Xanax doesn’t get you Xanax I am not qualified to tell you how much masturbation is too much masturbation. It is not my job to teach your adolescent son about how to get a girlfriend. Your medicine only works when you take it. I’m not going to give you my cell phone number Women are doctors too No I can’t just remove your gallbladder in the office; I’m also not a surgeon. You shouldn’t be taking your friend’s/mom’s/grandma’s medication. You can’t just ‘pull your panties to the side’ for a Pap smear ....and the list goes on and on
"I am not qualified to tell you how much masturbation is too much masturbation." is my absolute favourite :D
I know. Who knew? This reminds me of the woman who was having trouble losing weight, despite having a salad with dinner every night. Upon further questioning, it turns out she was making a salad, placing it on the table by her plate, then pigging out on high carb foods... And never eating the salad.
Load More Replies...If a doctor can't answer how much masturbation is too much masturbation who can?
Don’t lick your contact lenses to clean them. Seriously.
Sometimes, when you are in the middle of nowhere, the pain is sharp and you can only throw your lens away and see nothing or lick it and risk, you lick it. That's it.
I've been told outright from my eye doctor that saliva is much safer for your eye than water and if you have to rinse it off in an emergency, you have no choice. I have put them in my mouth in multiple locations. Its completely fine.
Load More Replies...I had hard contacts for years. Got them in 1978. Wore until 2000. Although I did convert to Gas Permeable in the 90's. And, yes, there were many times I had to pop my lens into my mouth. However, it was not to clean them, it was to moisten them. When you have a rigid lens, like I used to have, become dry, and you don't have any eye drops, you do what you have to do because it hurts. My eyesight was very bad so I couldn't go without them. I had LASIK in 2000 and best thing I ever did for myself. Now I suffer from severe LASIK dryness, but it was worth it.
My mom also had hard contacts before and she also moist them by putting them in her mouth.
Load More Replies...That's disturbing. My optometrist told me about a guy who put his contacts in urine while on a camping trip. This came up when I told him I wished I could get disposables for when I go camping. I wear my contacts for the road trip because I like them better than my glasses for driving. But I take the contacts out and throw them away when we get to the campsite. I feel bad wasting two-week contacts that I just put in that morning, but I'm not touching my eye with my dirty hands!
lenniee - several of the people above. That's who. :P
Load More Replies...Actually is for mosturize eventually is way more better than water. If you do not have the liquid is the best, of you cleaned with water is really painfull
I do just use glasses. Once I realized I was becoming less-than-vigilant with my contact lenses, I just went straight one-my-face glasses. It’s great!
Load More Replies...Some people think these bits of information aren’t worth bothering others with, but they might be indicators of serious underlying issues. Remember, folks, if you’re not sure about something, just ask your doctor — those few seconds can help you out and will save you time in the long run.
I worked in obstetrics for many years. I was taking care of a woman in her late twenties, definitely not a teen mom, married, with a job. She got to 10 centimeters so I did my usual speech about how to push effectively. She nods and pushes when I tell her and she did great, really moved the baby down. I’m excited but I notice she’s whispering to her husband. He looks at me and says “ so why do you want her to do that?” I was a bit taken aback and very slowly explained that she had to that to get the baby out. She asked if I was kidding. At this point I feel like I’m the butt of a practical joke, but it didn’t stop. He kept asking if there wasn’t “a better way to do it” and muttering that I was being ridiculous. She continued to push and thankfully didn’t take long because she kept rolling her eyes at me. I was thrilled to hand this lovely couple off to the doctor. They looked slightly more convinced when he told her to do exactly what I had told her to do and then a baby magically appeared. If she’d ended up in a c section I’m sure she’d have been convinced I had done it all to torture her. How does a woman make it into adulthood in normal society without knowing you have to push a baby out? And then there was the time a woman got mad when I told her there was absolutely no way we could do her cesarean laparoscopically.
IF the school ever discusses sex/reproduction at all, it's generally in the "you should abstain, the end" format.
Load More Replies...Sadly the women was probably from a abstinence teaching household and school system. If they teach not to have sex before marriage and don’t explain the functionality of the body you end up with men and women who are ill informed and rather unmoving in their beliefs.
I don't.... I don't understand. I might give her the excuse that maybe she grew up very, very sheltered, but then I'd think once she met other people, they might correct her. Then again, maybe her circle would be just as sheltered as she was. Or, it's possible that even if someone did correct her false beliefs about child birth (or lack thereof), she might have chosen not to believe them. It's possible anyway.
Don’t blame it on the schools! There are a bizzilion books about pregnancy and birth! She should have read a couple of them!
Cesarean laparoscopically? Reminds me of cartoons where big shark/wolf is sucked through a narrow tube!
You're 22, wash your dick
Both genders. Also yes, too many apparently never been told this is necessary... did their parents stop instructions at "wash behind your ears"? Also my mother works at the hospital. Biochemist. Another washing advice: wash under stomach and breasts. Again both genders. If you have a skin flap, wash it under it. It traps old sweat, skin oil, dead skin and hair. Not only will it smell but you also risk one hell of an infection. The amount of times she got home with that haunted look of someone who'd have yet another patient with what amounts to a dead cat under their breasts or stomach. Yeah, never working in the medical field with patients. I'm sure 70% are nice, but the rest...
You'd be surprised how many boys are not taught to pull back their foreskin and clean it because it is an "uncomfortable" topic for the parents.
Part of it is hopefully because when the child is young you SHOULDN'T retract the foreskin. It's fused to the glans at birth and retracting it can cause scar tissue which can lead to infections and other issues. Not sure when one should let a young boy know that eventually you would have to do that, and in the US most parents don't know how to properly care for an intact male anyway since we still circumcise more often than not.
Load More Replies...This message includes washing the inside of your excessive foreskin.
Worked in an optical practice in the UK. Man comes in complaining of bad vision. His asigmatism has increased by like 3 diopters. That's a [friggin] load and definitely shouldn't happen. Optician retested using different kit. Same result. Told him to come back in a week and we will retest it. This time we're looking at 4 diopters. They freak out. Recheck again, another optician checks it. Same result. They run through health, smoking, drinking, medicine. Nothing out of the ordinary. The guy looks stressed as [hell] put his head in his hands and put his thumbs against the side of his eyes. The optician asks if he does that a lot. Apparently whenever he's stressed he pushes the sides of his eyes. He's done it so much that he has physically changed the front of his eyeball and ruined his vision. We told him to stop doing that. Never thought we'd have to tell another human being to not squeeze their own eyeballs. Also had to tell a kid to not look at laser pointers, but he was just dumb as [crap].
My eyes watered just by reading this, how on earth did this man develop that habit?!
Dumb question but if he started pushing in the opposite direction....
I am a child, I am not stupid like that kid. He was just a doofus.
I thought they were going to say he was putting disposable contacts in over the old ones thinking they just dissolved. I will have to admit, when I was extremely exhausted, I have put one pair of contacts over another... once. And I have put my glasses on after I put my contacts in. *yes, I'm an idiot - sometimes
Do you think common sense classes should be mandatory for everyone? Are there any obvious things that you hadn’t figured out until recently? Share them with us by dropping us a comment down below.
Old friend of mine is a Nurse Practitioner. She told me she once saw a patient, male, complaining of severe rectal itching and general pain. She is a very smart people-person, she can read people very well. She got right to the point and asked him about his daily hygiene routine. She had a hunch based off his presentation that he was a "man's man"..."aint go gay stuff happening here!!!" Long story short, when showering, he NEVER cleaned his ass. Ever. He told her, that it was "homosexual" to touch his anus. She had to explain to him that the severe rash and itching he had been dealing with for apparently YEARS was a direct result of his perceived "homo acts." She instructed him to go home, take a proper shower, and apply witch hazel for a few days. Amazing that a grown man thinks this way.
But you've gotta figure he was touching it anyway to deal with that "severe itching"...show me one person who could resist scratching in that situation.
Well, there is the Itch, Scratch, Itch cycle. You really shouldn't scratch if you can manage to stop yourself.
Load More Replies...Wiping after pooping also implies touching, so I wonder...oh wait.
There was a reddit post about somehitng similar a few years back. A girl was asking whether it was a deal breaker that her new boyfriend refused to wipe his butt because straight men don't EVER touch that place, to the point he was leaving stains on the bed while they were having sex. Jeebus save us all.
I dated a guy who told me he didn't specifically clean his asscrack because "it gets clean when you rinse off and the soapy water runs down your body". I don't remember how that subject came up, but I stopped dating him after that.
They make horror movies about these guys. Usually ends with a mummified mother in the attic talking sh*t to her son while he runs the family motel.
Worked in women’s health......so many things but one that always makes me shake my head is a woman telling me that her doctor said if she pees after sex she won’t get pregnant. I had to explain to a grown ass woman who had already given birth three times that your urethra and your cervix are two different holes and peeing after intercourse can help prevent UTIs but not pregnancy. Learn about your body ladies, no one else is going to teach you.
Is there any reason why it should be a taboo? I don't see one.
Load More Replies...I'm amazed at how many grown women don't know that there are several orifices down there.
This is clearly the fault of bad or no sex ed and biology classes in school.
And parents not taking responsibility. Schools aren't supposed to do this instead of and some parents actively protest about children being taught these kinds of things.
Load More Replies...Google “sex ed in Denmark”. I’ve been a teacher in Denmark for 20 years and I have never experienced a teen pregnancy. (I teach up to 16 year olds).
We learnt this in high school In the 1970s people! ( In Australia). How...?
USA! USA! USA! They don’t teach us that. We might use it for sex.
Load More Replies...So glad I had a mother who let me research anything anatomic. On top of having a healthy interest in how my own and others bodies worked. Still get surprised sometimes, but I have the basics down at least. Including that "pull out" is not a viable way to not end up with a kid, and neither is breastfeeding or recent birthing a prevention of having another.
"Learn about your body ladies, no one else is going to teach you." that's the problem. Why is no one teaching decent sex ed?
A doctor told her that? A doctor on a soap opera? "I'm not a real doctor, but I play one on TV."
No, no, no. I think she's misunderstood the doctor. Peeing after sex helps prevent urinary tract infections. Yes, it's a different orifice, but the friction of sex can cause normal external bacteria to get, shall we say, rubbed into the entrance of the urethra. Peeing washes it out again before it can travel up and cause a bladder infection.
Yes, your babies need to be fed through the night. They are not born eating three meals a day and sleeping 10 hours a night. Please, dear God, wake up and feed them.
My friend had given birth several hours back, baby didn't wake for the feed she was supposed to do so she let him sleep... The nurses ended up stripping him and shaking him (less gently then I'd have expected but they did support his head) to try and jolt him awake.
When my husband was an infant he slept around 20 hours a day (he still sleeps a lot). They tried everything- thumping his heel, sitting him up, vacuuming in the nursery, etc.- but eventually his pediatric doctor told mom he was fine and he would wake when hungry. His aunt was a nurse at the time and was convinced she knew how to wake him so she SPRAYED HIM IN THE FACE WITH A SINK HOSE!! Mom was understandably pissed at her sister. He didn't wake up.
Load More Replies...I had a friend who was happily telling me her baby slept through the night after the first two days. (This was after two weeks). Her baby looked so skeletal. After a Dr appt, she found out that her baby was not latching right and the baby was quiet and sleeping so much due to starvation and exhaustion. While breastfeeding is natural, it's not always easy and instinctual.
Might also mean you catch your kid before they die. I was a quiet baby, but even my mom thought I was too quiet one night and checked up on me. I was blue. Luckily we were still in the hospital but I was still dead for so long the doctor warned my mother I was might be a bit.. yeah. Well, I fooled them. They still think I'm normal!
An infertility chip should be installed in ALL babies when they are born and deactivated only after they take an approve a phisical, mental, and economic course... Say what you want, but if someone who wants to adopt a child has to go through all those exams and bureaucracy I see no reason why someone who wants to get pregnant should not do the same...
As stupid as some people can be I don’t think controlling their body’s physical development and natural courses is an option. Not a sane one anyway.
Load More Replies...Every baby is different. I was a baby who slept through the night after coming home from the hospital. I ate healthily when awake and, after the normal couple ounces lost after birth, still ended up gaining weight normally. But, according to my mother, all four of my brothers woke up at 2am to be fed. So when I came along and slept all night—-thereby allowing her, as the mother of four boys aged 9-18 plus an infant girl, to also get the good night’s sleep she so desperately needed—-she was overjoyed. Especially when her doctor confirmed that, since I was progressing so well, it wasn’t a big deal.
I'm terrified at the number of newborns who go home with parents who have NO IDEA how to take care of them. I've heard so many horror stories about women who starve their babies because they don't want "fat" babies, or let them cry for hours without picking them up. It honestly keeps me up at night sometimes. I wish everyone had to take classes and get a license before they were physically able to have children.
By ten days old I started sleeping through the whole night, woke and ate heartily. To this day unless sick I sleep 7 hours no more and do not wake when I sleep.
My daughter was sleeping through the night by the time she was 3 months old. But, for the first 3 months she did wake during the night for feeding and diaper change. Had her bassinet right next to the bed, as I wanted to make sure I could hear her. She had this peculiar way of crying where she would put up her little fist and make this high pitched little "LA!" sound when she wanted to eat. But I knew to expect to get up during the night for feedings with a newborn. I can't believe some people don't.
Bored Panda contacted Reddit user elleboes who made the thread about basic things doctors had to tell their patients. According to elleboes, the inspiration to make the thread came when they were in a “busy emergency room in Ontario” and saw some “crazy stuff.”
“I had a patient who was a little on the needy side. Which is fine, sometimes people don't get the chance to have someone look after them better than they can look after themselves. But having that patient sit up, and hork a fat loogie on the floor (this person was fully oriented and not confused or anything like that) I was like "seriously dude?" It was equal parts frustrating but also funny. Having to coach someone through their thought process about why they thought that was a good idea just put me over the exasperation edge so on my break, I made the post!”
I am a clinical lab scientist, and I frequently have to tell patients that I cannot accept their stool samples in tupperware, mugs, food to-go boxes, etc. The worst is when they take the sh*t-filled mug back home with them cause they don’t want to lose a “perfectly good mug”.
I'm drinking coffee right now and I want to clean everything with bleach - like just reading this contaminated everything I own
Actually, I would really like to know WHY they can't accept the sample in that. In the past I have been asked to bring a sample in and given the option of going all the way to the lab and picking up a specimen container or using something from home (after thoroughly washing it with soap and warm water).
Imagine they get pulled over and the officer has pc to search the vehicle
Usually goes along with after a car accident and their kids weren't in car seats/seatbelts, how their kids... NEED TO BE IN [FRIGGIN] CAR SEATS... But it's summer so a more seasonal example is the following: Me- "So whats the problem today?" Them- "I don't know what's going on! I can't breath! I'm having a seizure!" Me- "Hmmm.. has this ever happened before? T- "Yea usually when I smoke crystal meth" Me- "Did you smoke crystal meth today?" T- "Yea, like 30 min ago. Why?" Me- "...."
No excuse for not securing your children. Don't secure yourself, said children could end up orphans.
Load More Replies...This conversation happened once. Me: Also, you need to eat more fiber. Guy: Okay, sure. Me: That means more vegetable during meals. And you can have fruits for dessert. Guy: Urgh... But I don't like vegetables. Me: Yeah, but you gotta eat more of them now. Guy: No, I don't eat vegetables. Me: What do you mean? Guy: I never eat vegetables. Like, since I was a kid. Never. Me: Why? Guy: I don't like how it tastes. Me: ..... The guy was in his 30s, severely obese with lots of pimples on his face. His cholesterol was through the roof. And he was having problem with his colon health. He was there with his wife and two kids, too.
I just don't get how people can live off of nothing but meat and carbs. I'd be craving something fresh all the time.
People who say "I don't like vegetables" really annoy me. There are soooo many different types of vegetables and soooo many different ways of preparing them, that it's just plain laziness and stupidity.
Maria is right, there are so many ways of preparing them. You could make a smoothie with the stuff you have. All you need is a blender and some fruits & veggies. Absolute laziness.
Load More Replies...Now, I don't eat most vegetables. I don't like them, and some have a texture I can't tolerate. Been this way since a small child (I'm now 54). I've picked up a few veggies along the way, but most I don't like and won't eat. I even went to a hypnotist to try to like veggies. I finally threw the towel in and I am the way I am. I do take fiber daily as well as several types of vitamins. I know food is the best way to get one's vitamins but I can't do it. I will literally gag when trying to eat veggies.
Sounds like my dad. Lost 20 kg/44lbs since moving out. Him eternally complaining on how picky I am and how fat I'm getting. I dislike eating potatoes and gravy for 2/3 meals for around 18 years. If it wasn't fatty and only seasoned with salt and peber he wouldn't touch or make it. I even tried cooking sometimes, but "it wasn't to his taste" when I made something exotic like lasagne. Mostly all fixed by just moving out, where he ironically made fun of me telling I'd be back when I missed getting hot meals. That'd be a no.
I have the same problem... Ever since I was a child I hated vegetables and never ate them... When I grew older I was able to start eating some of the vegetables and forced myself to eat salad with my meal, etc. I got used to some of the vegetables, but I don't feel like I actually want them, I have to make myself eat them. I know it's bad for me, but I don't know how to change it :/
Sometimes it's just not trying all the various vegetables there are or not knowing how to prepare them properly. Cooked to death is a popular method and yet rarely tasty. All you can do is keep trying different veggies and different cooking methods. Good luck - it is worth it (though don't try my MILs method - covering everything in cheese. FIL had a heart attack.
Load More Replies...Okay okay okay. My ex would whine like a child if there was a vegetable anywhere near his food. His parents were perfectly fine with this. His skin was awful and he never felt good. Same with fruit. Wouldn’t touch it. There’s a reason why we aren’t together.
I know a CEO of a global brand who turns 5 when he sees a vegetable. He’s brilliant and otherwise healthy, but I’ve no idea how.
Elleboes stated that they were surprised that their post got so many upvotes. However, in their opinion, people “love sharing strange things that happened to them.” What’s more, the Reddit user shared the strangest, most obvious common sense thing patients were oblivious about: “There's serious stuff like people not taking their heart medication to funny, like people coming in for knee pain after a fall, then refusing pain meds because "oh no, I don't take medication." The ER is such a wild, bizarre place. I also had a patient who had horrible teeth from neglect, and he was digging around in his mouth and then hands me a tooth. I had to tell them to stop removing his own teeth. Keep them in your head while you can!”
No, belly button lint is not a reason to go to the emergency room via ambulance
I was waiting in the emergency room after a car accident where I hit my head and had a concussion and the girl in the room next to me would scream and cry very few minutes. I asked the nurse if she was ok after she screamed about 7 times. The nurse scoffed and said that she had dropped a can of soda on her foot. I asked how bad it was and she said that She was fine she was wearing shoes when it happened and she just wants pain meds. She screamed and cried every time a nurse or doctor walked by or into the room. I was there for over half a day. I don’t know why they didn’t kick her out but at one point another patient yelled at her to just shut up already and she got out of her hospital bed and tried to fight the other patient. She seemed to walk just fine. That was a interesting day in a downtown city hospital. My husband thought it was hilarious, like watching jerry springer live.
Note to self, do NOT eat a dorito and then read this one, you will choke. lmao.
Yep. I had a co-worker who called 911 because she stubbed her toe, at home, before she came to work. It hurt while she was at work, so she sat in the floor, called at ambulance, then called her husband (who was overseas at the moment) and told him he needed to come home and help her because she was going to have to have her toe amputated (this part was not true). The husband called the business phone (I answered) and he asked what on Earth happened at work that would make her lose a toe. I told him the real story. He told me to tell her he was sick of her overdramatic s**t and he was filing for divorce when he got home. She was...weird.
Load More Replies...I hope this was in the USA ... when they get the bill for the ambulance they won't repeat that
Me: “Did you miss a dose of [insert medicine name here]?” Pt: “No, I take it every day”. Me: “How many times did you not take [previously named medicine] in the past week?” Pt: “Three and I skipped this morning too”. This happens probably once a week.
My grown a*s husband went to the doctor for a check-up. The doc prescribed an anti-biotic for an ear infection. A few weeks later I found the almost full bottle of meds in his lamp table. When I asked why he didn't take them, he said, "Well, my ear didn't hurt, so I'd didn't take them. If it hurts again, I'll take the rest of them." I told him that's not how it works (I also called him a dumbass). Now, if he gets any prescriptions, I dose them for him to make sure he takes it.
Read the directions on the label! But again, due to the cost of some meds, even with younger people, they don't take meds as prescribed to make them last longer. Sometimes with deadly consequences. Especially with high BP meds. And what's going on with the cost of insulin is a crime.
see, with me, I can never remember if I took my meds or not, leaving me like "oh shoot, well, don't want to overdose or something" - I'm trying to fix it don't worry
When reconciling meds with patients, it's so important to find out HOW they're taking them. .Not as directed, a lot of the time.
Irish men have a particular trait, it goes as follows "I'm dying with the flu, jaysus I can't stop coughing, I went to the doctor and he gave me some shite I'm supposed to take". So I reply "Aren't the tablets working?", he replies "Oh I didn't that that shite at all", me again "Why on earth not?" him: "I hate taking tablets. Christ, I can't stop coughing..............."
I had the opposite happen. I have thyroid disease and am on thyroid replacement. I've had high blood pressure for 30 years. One dr. I saw accused me of taking a higher dose of thyroid (if you're on thyroid your dose changes at any given time, depending on your blood tests, so you've always got various doses laying around) to lose weight. I asked him if he was crazy. I'd had the "too much" thyroid problem to begin with and it's awful and scary. I'd never do that to myself to lose a few pounds!
I feel like reposting “REMOVE ALL WARNING LABELS and let nature sort them out” to every post in this article.
I got to admin, I don't understand this for most medications. The ones you take every few hours, I got it. But evening and morning? It is SO easy to put that into your routine! Lord knows I take quite a few....and I occasionally miss a dose due to mistakes (IE: forgot to reorder in time), but never regularly.
Patient had been referred to my pharmacy by his physician for an OTC enema. The guy was not the sharpest tack, and apparently either his physician did not explain it well or the guy didn't listen, but our conversation went like this: Pt.: So I drink down this whole bottle and then I'll hafta [crap]? Me: No sir, this is an enema. It is used rectally. Pt. (confused): So what's that mean, I don't hafta drink the whole thing? Me: No sir, you'll lie on your side and insert the applicator tip of the bottle into your rectum and squeeze the contents into you bowel. You'll then remain lying on your side and hold the enema in until you feel the urge to have a bowel movement. Pt.: You tellin' me I gotta stick it up my ass!? Me: Yes sir, this is an enema and it is used rectally. There are detailed instructions and diagrams in the box. Pt.: F**K YOU! And he stormed off. That was the last I saw of him. Not sure if he thought I was messing with him or what, but I hope he eventually got to sh*t.
Well, I´d guess this procedure is strange enough to be both unknown and uncomfortable to many. And, from own experience, the effects aren´t what you´d call a nice evening either.
That's on the physician. Medical jargon is a hindrance to informed consent at the best of times, but with the intellectually underendowed it becomes a full-on language barrier. If I asked every client to write a script blocking certain packages, they'd likely ask me what on earth the pharmacy and/or postoffice had to do with windows update rebooting randomly in the middle of a movie.
I just got some powder to mix through water when I had that. Tasted nasty though
I bet this patient doesn't eat veggies either. Enemas are usually prescribed as a last resort for people who are extremely stopped up because they don't have enough fiber in their diet. Don't want to do an enema? Eat your damn veggies!
Doctors never think that their patients may be hard of hearing so do not hear the full instructions, yet when things go wrong it is the patients fault. If the patient has not heard something how are they supposed to know that eh? I have been partially deaf since 14 and found it was always my fault, crap doctors.
The story is told of a man prescribed a suppository: the doctor told him to "insert it in the back passage". A few days later the man returned, very angry, and told the doctor "I tried it in the back passage, I tried it in the front room - hell, I even tried it in the kitchen. For all the good it did I might as well have shoved it up my a**".
I would have just told him to read and follow the instructions. If he drank it down, that would have been his problem, but who knows, maybe it would have worked.
Elleboes also had some advice for doctors and patients, so that they can better understand each other. “Have doctors and nurses slow down when they're explaining stuff. For us, explaining what's happening is said in our language and processes we understand. These people might not have ever heard the words we are speaking before, they have no idea what they mean. Slow down, use layman's terms, "dumb it way down". For patients — ask questions! Write down when symptoms start so you can keep track of exactly how long and when symptoms start, so that it is easier for the doctors to make a diagnosis! This one is such a pet peeve of mine. A patient will complain of toe pain with joint swelling and a rash, and when asked about when each symptom started [will say] "6 months? 8 months? 4 months?" People have no idea and it can make it really difficult. And the most important [rule] — be patient in the ER! The wait times suck, but we aren't slow for the fun of it. We have someone hemorrhaging around the corner and someone coding in the trauma room. We are honestly moving as quickly and safely as we can.”
Older man, terminally ill. New Years eve. Presented to the ER in the company of a hooker. He had a finishing nail in his erect penis. He was in to penile sounding. He says, "Well, there was nothin' else layin' round. And I'm so f***ed up and can't feel a thing." Indeed, he was f***ed up. Cocaine, alcohol, mdma, viagra and some hydrocodone. Poor dude just wanted one last rager. I told him, "Wood is just a euphemism, man. Don't shove sharp things up your pee-hole." He took it in stride. He was in the hospital for two days. The hooker basically stayed with him the entire time. Come to find out, she was only one of the three hookers he had paid. She wasn't even the one who shoved the nail up there. I thought it odd that she hung around until he told me how much he had paid them. Turns out the other two were hanging out at his house waiting for his return. I visited him before he was discharge. Dude popped some x right in front me and says, "Just gettin' a head start. No more sharp [crap]. I promise, Doc."
Indeed. Better to burn out than to fade away.
Load More Replies...Ha! I think that's awesome. He's dying man, he can do all the drugs and hookers he want! Woo! Live it up buddy!
If you're terminally ill do whatever the hell you want! Good for him!
Well he was already dying so..... might as well hedonistically go with a bang
Nurse here. The number of people I’ve had to tell to not drink or to stop drinking their urine is surprising.
Ermmm in Germany some, lets call them alternative doctors, recommend drinking urine.....
Really? This is a thing? Jimminy Crickets!
Load More Replies...This is actually a thing. I've known some anti-vaxxers and "natural healers" who promote this
People are mad. I knew it before, but this totally confirms my worst fears. WHO WOULD DRINK URINE, FOR GOD'S SAKE??????
Maybe during sex as a fetish or something like that
Load More Replies...He's too busy staying in hotels rather than actually being out in the wild.
Load More Replies...That you need to take the packaging off the suppository before you insert it. Which in retrospect, is why they were making his piles worse...
Or that suppositories are not meant to be swallowed with a glass of water. ;)
oh, and that plastic or paper sleeve on the tampon? Take those off before insertion.
"Good God man, at least take it out of the cardboard box!"
Considering it's aluminum with sharp edges ( or so I've read ) I would reckon so.
No, your teenaged daughters cannot share a single prescription for birth control pills.
The two girls were sharing the same prescription. As in, they we're splitting one thirty day supply.
Load More Replies...Today for example, I had to coach a grown person through their decision making process about why they thought it was ok to spit on the floor.
I would hate to see some people's homes. Do they do these things to their own house?
I hate people who spit bleeding everywhere. I don't care if it's in a building or out in public; DON'T. It's a serious reason why so many diseases spread, on top of the "anti-vax" sheeps. Also it's incredible nasty. Even when done outside. Because when you do it where people walk they step in it by accident and track it everywhere... it's the same as sneezing a huge booger into your hand and then just wiping it off on the nearest surface.
Me with my older brother, about spitting out the car window when he drove around. He doesn't do it anymore though, but when we told him multiple times to not to for months, years before, he was hard to convince. It's a nasty habit that made me want to vomit honestly. Thankfully he got out of it with time & if needs to he just use tissue papers or something like that. & that's when he still smokes. Now he doesn't smoke anymore so that's that as well.
Perfectly normal in islam as it's a sin to swallow spit during ramadan.
No that’s incorrect it’s perfectly okay to swallow your spit during fasting
Load More Replies...My husband thought "Polish Handkerchiefs" were acceptable in the shower until after the first smack across the head and handing him the comet go to and scrub it when he got out.. wth do some mothers teach their kids. EW!
Sadly I see this all the time at work. These pigs think since its a warehouse its okay to spit on the floor or in the gaylords for cardboard. I've lost count of the number of times I've written worker up for this and not one of them understood WHY. >..>
Don't douche with bleach. Patient had mixed bleach, fabric softener, dawn dishsoap, vinegar, and some water (just in case) and burned the bejeezus out of herself after having a baby 3 weeks prior because she was convinced people could smell her. She douched with it multiple times and came in when the burning toned down. Sent off to gynecological surgeon and never seen again.
They did! The only thing they saw was a "This space for rent" sign.
Load More Replies...Psychotic postpartum depression? That's definitely some unusual behavior.
Hope she was sent to mental health, symptomatic of post partum depression with psychotic/delusions. Unfortunately not overly rare and often overlooked
I would honestly be very worried about her. Postpartum psychosis does exist. It's really f*cked up and mothers can have real hallucinations, like seeing their babies walk on the ceiling, being convinced that their baby was sent to kill them, or that people are waiting outside to steal their baby. Things like that. It can lead either to suicide or infanticide. It's freaking as hell. Also sometimes after giving birth, mothers can have a cerebral thrombophlebitis (basically a clot in a cerebral artery) due to physiological hypercoagulability during pregnancy and post-partum, causing these kind of symptoms too. Well, either that or she was just stupid.
W.T.A.F!!! Your not supposed to.douche at all never mind with anything 🤦♀️ ladieeesss..learn that your flower is magical and cleans itself!! Hope her kid is okay 🤔😕
maybe this fucktard also had a Tide Pod or 3
Load More Replies...Had a partner try to threaten to take our our patient out of the hospital because she was in increasing pain and we werent atopping/fixing it. Note, she was in labor and minutes away from delivering. Had to explain that leaving now would not help her pain as its normal to increase as labor progresses and by leaving we would have to remove the epidural and that would definitely make pain worse (note, we had zero plans of actually doing any of this, but still had to point out how stupid his logic was. There was no way we would let someone whose about to deliver to walk out. Like close enough we checked between legs to make sure no surprise baby on the bed level close to delivering). Luckily her mom showed up a few minutes later and very quickly put him in his place. He tried to brag to her about how he was threatening to leave (going for "tough guy/macho" type persona) and she told him to either shut up or wait down in lobby
Ours amounted to labling body parts on a diagram and talking about safe sex and STIs. Nothing about the other consequence of sex (babies). Then we'd talk about nutrition the rest of the semester. Looks like he slipped through the cracks.
Load More Replies...process of labour: squeazing an actual head and shoulders through a small hole, random genuis who should not be reproducing: it hurts?! *surprised Pikachu face*
"There was no way we would let someone whose about to deliver to walk out" Is this legal? If the patient is coherent and wants to walk out, can the hospital stop her?
I work in a professional office. We have cartoon-esque signs in the men's rooms reminding people they should wash their hands after taking a piss or dropping a deuce. People still walk out without washing. I called one dude out on it a could months ago. He got very defensive and informed me he washes his hands before he uses the bathroom. ...thatsnothowitworks...
What's wrong with just licking off your fingers like a normal person?
This actually makes sense. Your hands can be dirty from work (grease, oil, soil, etc.). You wouldn't want to touch you private parts with dirty hands, don't you? So you wash them before. And when you have a normal hygienic routine, you wash your private parts daily, so they're clean (they're not exposed like your hands, so they stay clean) and won't contaminate your hands when doing 'your business', so why wash them again afterwards?
Makes sense though! Your hands can be dirty from work (oil, grease, soil, etc). You won't want to touch your parts with dirty hands. Also, a normal person washes his privates daily, so they are clean. They are not exposed to dirt. And as long as you don't p**s on your hands, touching your clean parts doesn't contaminate your hands that you just cleaned before. So why wash it again after your duty?
Paramedic here; I had a Pt once who was complaining of being unable to sleep. He’s telling me all these different things he’s been trying in order to sleep. You know basic things like counting backward, counting sheep, melatonin, NyQuil, Benadryl, Zzzquil, Warm milk, Alcohol, Weed, and meth. This has been going on for about two weeks. Wait a minute, meth? So I proceed to ask how long they’ve been on meth, “I started like two weeks ago when my gf showed me.” At this point I thought this 47 year old man would catch on, but nope, not even a flicker of a light bulb. So I say to him, “you realize meth can cause insomnia?” It was as though I removed the bottle of stupid juice he was drinking, and opened up a can of ACME knowledge because he responded “oh my god that makes so much sense, cause I was even smoking meth to try and sleep!” Yeah this productive member of society went straight to the waiting room.
In his defense, after two weeks of no sleep his higher brain function must have been severely impaired.
The waiting room of the police station hopefullly! (where I live narcotics are illegal)
Nurse here. I have to explain daily to patients that they can't eat before an operation. They're always saying things like "but if I ate and had an accident wouldn't they operate on me?" I have to explain that in case of life and death situations the doctor takes some risks but why risk during an routine operation.
Pretty frequently have to explain to patients that they can’t have metal in/on their bodies during an MRI, even if the jewelry/whatever is on a different part of their body than what is being imaged. “But I’m only getting an MRI of my foot, why do I have to take my earrings out?” “Because the magnet effects the ENTIRE room, and it will RIP your earrings out and throw them around the room.” Also people who have pacemakers who are pissed off when we don’t let them have an MRI, because they think it won’t be any big deal. Sorry, I know you really want the best possible imaging for your back pain, but we really don’t want to kill you to get it. Really, doctors need to be screening their patients for things like that before scheduling them for an MRI, but you’d be shocked how much it happens.
Some tattoos, even, can cause injuries during an MRI. If there are metal oxides in the ink, they can heat up and cause severe burns.
Remind me never to have an MRI. Two tats and a metal screw in my foot.
Load More Replies...I’m not a medical professional but I’ve had enough procedures and I like to stay informed. I recently went in for a foot MRI. I had on sports bra, tank top, cotton draw string shorts, non metal hair scrunchee. Left my wedding bands at home. Yes, I’m tooting my own horn, the tech was very happy to be able to get me in and out quickly.
It always amazes me when people go to court or the airport, etc. (anywhere they need to go through Security) and wear shoes/boots that take 5 minutes to remove or a ton of jewelry.
Load More Replies...Technically speaking, it should be fine. Gold, platinum and silver are non-ferromagnetic, they have no magnetic pull.
Load More Replies...I got pneumonia and had chest x-rays. I honestly forgot I had a shark tooth necklace on (I was disoriented from being sick and I had been wearing the necklace all summer). That caused a bit of chaos when they called in a specialist to take a look at the "abnormal growth" that showed up on my x-ray. I was totally freaked out (thinking I had cancer or something). Then they showed me the x-ray. We all had a good laugh about it, except the tech who was embarrassed because he jumped to conclusions and wasted everyone's time.
I have a bit of metal in me, from gall bladder clips to pins and spacers from my spine surgery. I tell the mri dr about them, and they handle it. It isn't hard!
Not all metal is magnetic. Usually the metal that goes INSIDE your body is not magnetic to prevent it ripping out of you when in an MRI. Same with a pacemaker. Mostly harmless, but the doc cannot guarantee it wont spontaneously do a chestburster on you^^ With stuff like piercings (have a few) and jewelry, its often low-key magnetic and you really don't want to damage yourself AND a multi-million dollar machine. Just my two-cents, shutting up now^^ Have a nice day!
Load More Replies..."Sex makes babies." Okay, so maybe not as succinct. You would be shocked at the number of calls related to abdominal pain turn out to be pregnancy even after asking the patient if there is any chance they are pregnant and they answer "no."
An AFLAC representative told me one time that one of her clients asked her if she could file her pregnancy under her husband's Accident Policy because they weren't planning on getting pregnant, therefore it was an "accident."
I went for some medical tests once and the nurse asked me if there was any chance I was pregnant. I assured her I was not. She then proceeded to explain that having my "monthlies" did not necessarily mean I wasn't pregnant and sperm can linger, so it's sometimes difficult to determine the actual date of conception. I let her go through her whole speach and then I calmly told her if I was pregnant, then those were some seriously tenacious sperm seeing as I had not had sex in a year. I told her a better approach would be to simply ask a patient when the last time they had intercourse was. Granted, people lie, but that could save some time and unnecessary lectures. I noticed the last time I went for tests, they now make you pee in a cup and do a pregnancy test before certain tests and procedures, regardless of what you tell them.
i've had nurses do a double take when they ask me that and i'm like "i've never had sex". they're like "really?!" like, yeah, asexuality and long distance relationships exist, it's not that uncommon.
Load More Replies...Well, I found out I was preggo when I was 27-28 weeks into it. was told I cannot have a baby since I was 15, no periods for looong time (2-3 years), did not gain weight, no morning sickness, nothing. After a trip to Sweden I fell very sick, like food poisoning, went to the ER, first they thought I have a broken spline, that turned out to be my baby, pushing himself on my stomach and liver. Although I was pregnant, I still had huge cists on my ovaries and doctors were baffled I got pregnant. And yes, i know how babies are made, I know how they are delievered, still f'ed up
9 out of 100 women would become pregnant in a year of taking the pill. So yeah, I guess for them it would be a solid and very legitimate "no" to that question.
Usually it's because of something that's compromised the effectiveness of the pill - like a stomach upset. People often don't realise you have to use additional protection for a while. How long I don't personally know - not being someone who takes a contraceptive pill!
Load More Replies..."You need to wash your hands"
Wife had a baby. The process involved about 100 professionals telling never to shake my baby. Of course, I thought, everyone knows that! Wife's water breaks, we're in the hospital, and she's getting checked in. I'm there with two other soon to be fathers. A nurse comes by and almost casually starts giving us a basic rundown of what not to do. Stuff I've heard a hundred times. We get to 'Never shake your baby', and one guy looks confused. A bewildering conversation takes place where this man insists he's never heard of that, must be cultural differences, insist everyone where he came from was shaken, and eventually is led away to talk to the doctor! I never saw him again, but I'm still scared for that baby.
Could it be a non-native speaker thinking that "shaking" is the same as rocking?
My mum had to show a friend how to feed and burp her baby. Didn't tilt the bottle so the milk could come out, then , since the baby was crying, she shook it til it stopped (after burping). Her "fussy" baby that cried and wouldn't eat was ravenous and gassy.
I worked for a pediatrician who told me she had to explain to a patient why “Chlamydia” was not an appropriate name for a child. The woman had not given birth yet but had told the MD that was the name she had in mind, apparently she had no clue it’s an STD and just thought it sounded pretty.
A French friend had a classmate named Clitoris. Called her Clit for short. I can't even.
There was a Victorian chap who named his daughters Gonorrhea and Syphilis, not knowing what the words meant! (Or at least, one hopes he didn't know. And I googled it, and now google will be judging me!)
It sounds pretty only if you don't know what it stands for. I think it would be better to name a child after an alien than a STD.
Like the Lee Evans joke.. "Chlamydia, your tea's ready!" "Okay, I'm on my way!" "Is Syphilis out there with you?"
"If you continue to insist on this gluten free vegan diet for your infant, we will be forced to get CPS involved before he dies of malnutrition." "No ma'am, there's no mystery or conspiracy here. Your daughter has to come to the ER every other week because she has asthma and you still smoke two packs a day inside the house." "I see here your child is suffering from constipation. How long since his last bowel movement? I'm sorry I must have misheard you. 30 minutes ago? Here in the waiting room? I'm going to be laughed out of case presentation..." "You came to the ER. For calluses on the soles of her feet. Please tell me there's more... No, we do not keep a podiatrist on call overnight." Loved pediatrics. Hated their parents.
That's the same thing I hear about teachers. Kids are great. Parents are a nightmare.
I was going to write exactly that. Most kids are great. Most parents are a-holes. I love teaching. I hate parents.
Load More Replies...Breastmilk from your own mother IS vegan. Most infants technically have a gluten-free vegan diet by default if they're on the boobs. What on earth was that person feeding their kid?
Probably soya/oats/rice milk. I've heard similar cases before.
Load More Replies...A friend of mine was on duty in ER. The usual: strokes, heart attacks, car accidents... when this man appeared in the middle of the night complaining of smelly feet. The doctors were so angry! They called the chief surgeon and he told the patient that the only solution was to amputate his feet. The patient got dressed in two seconds and disappeared, never to be seen again.
You can have a vegan baby, you just have to know what the f**k you're doing i.e. lots of research
`The amount of misinformation on the internet has severely limited people's common sense.
the 3 that come to mind for me are (1) trying to explain to a patient why it probably wasn't a good idea to eat a container of cottage cheese that had been sitting out on the counter all night (2) the entire family of a lady with a pacemaker, they kept insisting that she did not have a history of heart problems... they were convinced, that because the pacemaker helped her. that it meant she no longer had any kind of heart problem. (3) family with a mom that was 650 pounds.. and if they wanted to move her anywhere, they would have to call the fire department - they were always apologetic and such and said they just didn't know why she was so heavy and that she's tried everything to loose weight.. but all around her bed, is nothing but butterfinger, babe ruth, reese cup packages, fast food bags. I'm like, she can't walk on her own.. bring her a salad. all this junk and no movement is why she's so heavy.
Starting with the fact that i am very obese (and working my a$$ of to not be), I have never understood why people that are bed bound because of their weight. If that is the case, then they have enablers that bring them food.
Could be the patient bullies their loved ones into bringing junk. Threatening to withhold love is a powerful thing. Or the loved one could be in denial, or they could have a vested interest in keeping the person obese, like fearing that hey would cheat, or leave.
Load More Replies...(3) makes me sad and angry. You won't help anyone who is overweight/obese if you keep stuffing fat and sugar into him and supporting those bad eating habits.
Not my story, but my friend’s, who is a doctor. One day an extremely obese lady came to the hospital with some kind of ailment, and it transpired that she needed an operation. This lady was too big to wash herself thoroughly beforehand, so the nurses did it. As they lifted up one of her enormous breasts, a TV remote control fell out and dropped onto the bed. She had a TV REMOTE lodged in her body for god knows how long. She apparently wasn’t especially embarrassed about this, either. The medical team had to have a word with her about maintaining basic hygiene standards, as well as asking for help with self-care when needed.
A friend of mine, nurse, had to wash an obese patient once. She lifted one of the fat flaps and found a slice of buttered bread. Don't (wanna) know how long it's been there.
There is no way on this planet that nurses could ever be paid enough.
Load More Replies...Oh dear lord, don't let me get big enough that I lose stuff in my fat folds.
Why I can think only at this futurama episode.. when Bender became human and hide a cheese sandwich between fat rolls..
To a girl once that she needed the morning after pill because she thought that “girls only have babies if they think really hard to have one”
Knew a girl who couldn’t understand how she got pregnant, because she always took a birth control pill (singular) on the weekends her boyfriend was visiting.
BF working as an admin in ER. Two youngsters (no longer teenagers) come in to get the morning after pill because their condom broke BEFORE having sex and they went raw. Doctor: You do know you expose yourselves to STD if you do it raw, even if it's your partner. Guy: Oh, we just met. But don't worry, the (morning after) pill heals everything. Doctor: Ehm... HIV has treatment, but no cure, sir. Guy: Yeah, the pill heals everything.
I have met several young women who think that birth control protects them from everything. I also know a grown man who brags about never using condoms because he's sterile. I pointed out that he can still get STDs. His response? "Nah. She looked clean." I told him to never, never, never touch me... Ever!
Load More Replies...How awesome would be if a girl could only get pregnant when she actually wants to? Humans need to evolve to have an on-off switch for baby-making abilities.
When I was little I thought that to get pregnant, the guy gives the girl a special pill to take. Sounds like these poor folks really missed out on education (or it didn't sink in).
My mom is a nurse and had to teach these parents how to read a clock. Their baby wasn't eating enough because they didn't know when its time to feed him.
No, you cannot. New born baby tend to sleep all time. If you don't wake and nurse the baby, they will get dehydration..
Load More Replies...I have a hard time believing this one. Did these adults never work? Never have an appointment? Never watch TV? And for both of them to not know how to read a clock...
Don't hide bottles of five-hour energy in your vagina. My pt came in with a complaint of “vaginal foreign body”. Doc goes in to do the pelvic exam, pulls out unopened, sealed bottle of five-hour energy. Cue her explanation of hiding it from her spouse because he doesn’t like for her to drink energy drinks. Then she asks for it back so she can drink it.
There's this House MD episode where a lady tries to poison her husband with her arthritis medication. House solves the riddle early on and has her searched, only for the interns to find nothing. He comes to the conlusion that she's been hiding the bottle in her vagina. I wacthed that at 12. Oh boy.
I LOVED that show we need doctors like that not afraid to tell people how it is
Load More Replies...Maybe don’t force your Autistic non verbal 9 year old son to drink bleach.
Exactly. Poor boy though. Shame people don't realise they are too stupid to have children - for the child's sake I mean.
Load More Replies...Sadly, there are some groups out there who claim that bleach is a 'miracle cure' for autism and a bunch of other conditions.
Yep. I work with some families who have done this. I threatened to call child services if they didn't stop.
Load More Replies...Sadly, there are a bunch of people (too many, to be honest), that believe that bleach is a cure all.
Wouldn't this kill you? I might be being naive but it seems logical that the burning would inflame the throat leading to not only excessive pain, but an asthmatic effect??
This is actually a thing. It's a treatment protocol in a book about autism. I can't think of the name of the book, but it's is the same book, written by the same people who tried to market this as a "cure" for agent orange. It is exactly the same book, they just changed the names and the cover. They also have a website with "testimonials" about how the treatment cures autism. One of the parents of an autistic child that I work with was doing this treatment and she showed me the "testimonials". It is all completely fake: no one giving a testimonial wants to show their face or even their name for "safety reasons". I asked the mom, "If you found something that actually cured your son's autism, wouldn't you be willing to parade him around as proof that it worked, so other parents would believe it? Also, have you ever actually met anyone in person who really benefited from this "cure"?" She said, "Well, this lady I know who knows this other lady..." No! That means nothing!
I had to tell a patient that food cooked in restaurants does in fact have salt (sodium). He was under the impression that they just, didn't? idk. I was like, no dude, that's why their food tastes good.
The salt is on the table in little shakers for you to put in the food yourself. That’s probably his insane reasoning.
My grandma thought that if salt wasn't listed as an ingredient, then a food product had no sodium. I had to explain that a lot of foods naturally have sodium in them. I asked her what she thought the sodium amount listed on the nutritional information was? She said she thought that was a different kind of sodium.
I work in health information management currently. I get to explain to parents that even though they are biological I still can't share information about your adult kid about a half dozen times a day.
Some parents are way too nosey. My dad would open my mail, call my work to tell them he didn't think I was actually sick when I called out (I was) and he called my school to ask about my grades (tech school). After I had a car accident, he called the ER to tell them to tell me that he thought I was faking it. I told him to stop because that's just psycho. He said he could do all that because he was my father and I lived with him...and if I didn't like it I should move out. That weekend, while I was loading my stuff into my stepdad's pickup, my dad wanted to know why... "Why would you do this to me? Why would you move away?" I was like, "Seriously?!?!"
In some countries also underaged patients do not have to share all medical information with their parents if they don't want to. For example here in Finland a child or teenager can get vaccinations, birth control and abortion without their parents knowing about those things.
Cue every friggin' "old school" Chinese Doctor I'd seen so far (that's right MOM) - this is not LEGAL (at least not here... doctor-patient confidentiality does not mean doctor-patient and entirety of direct family confidentiality). Also why I stopped seeing Chinese doctors. a.) I'm female and I'm Chinese... so they automatically treated me like a useless-Chinese-female (meaning none of my problems were real, and they were more concerned with whether I was treating my family correctly and looking after my parents. Seriously. Ever single f**king appointment. 90% of the talk was 'and how are you treating your parents? How is their health? What are you doing for them?' b.) They would happily and CONSTANTLY share EEEeeeverything with their "Good friend and long-time patient" ... aka my mother... because really, I'm just a daughter - who cares, right? I mean.. it's the MOM, they really *SHOULD* know everything, right?
I’m recovering from surgery now. We do not let my mom come to my surgeries because she is too negative. She is not allowed to access my information. She told us she was driving around the hospital trying to figure out which building I was in. I hope everyone is following HIPPA.
Sorry to hear that. Hope your recovery goes well!
Load More Replies...That's probably a good thing. My mom shoved me out on my own when I was 17. I was upset at the way she did it, but I was secretly relieved that I didn't have to live with her anymore.
Load More Replies...Newborns don't get gas because their mothers drink soda while breastfeeding. Its a bad idea to drink sodas while breastfeeding. That's because caffeine can pass to the child-not the bubbles. Also, hot baths aren't recommended while pregnant. That's because of the heat-not because your baby will drown.
"because of the heat-not because your baby will drown." Hahahaha!
I'm dying at that one. Do they not know how pregnancy works
Load More Replies...I (A man) have to explain to older woman who come in with "mysteriously reoccurring" UTI's that wiping back to front is a no-no and that wiping front to back will significantly reduce the mystery UTI's. It is always baffling to me that this goes on for 40, 50, even 60 years before I have to end up explaining the "life hack" to them.
Okay, once in my midteens I was at a BBQ with people my dad knew. There weren't many people my age so I was hanging out with the adults (no prob, I;m used to it as an only child). The wife of dad's good friend complained that she had a UTI for the third time that year and was in a serious med regiment. I was very disturbed and said soemhting like 'maybe you should talk to a doc for extra tests, getting UTI's when you wipe and eat right might mean something sinister'. Her responce, "what do you mean wipe right?" She didn't know. She was 45 and had to be told by a teenager that poop contains bacteria that aren't good for your vagina.
Or your urinary tract... Your vagina isn't involved in UTIs (=urinary tract infections).
Load More Replies...My sister didn't know - I couldn't bring myself to explain, I'm not that close to her.
That is why this sort of basic health care should be mandatory in school.
Load More Replies...Also, and I am repeating myself, this is why bidets exist. Wash your behind after you poo.
Bidets aren't popular in North America (I wish they were). Either way not everyone has a bidet even where it is.
Load More Replies...Brush your [friggin] teeth twice a day people.
I had a distant relative-by-marriage whose nickname was "Green Teeth."
That "pulling out" isn't an effective way of preventing pregnancy.
I know people my age (I'm 39) who still believe that and were really surprised when I told them IT'S NOT. But we all learned that in school. I guess I was paying attention, considering it's my own safety we're talking about. I will never understand how ppl can be anything but extra cautious when it comes to unwanted pregnancies, or STDs.
We learnt that too....in the 1970s. In high school sex education classes. Lower high school ages approx 14. In Australia. .... We learnt so many myths that were useless, I could not believe people could be so silly. .... my mouth still hanging open here reading this rubbish.
Don't fall asleep with it open - there are people who think you eat x number of spiders a year like that! The world is full of fools!
Load More Replies...Do not smear mashed potatoes on your nipple in an effort to get your newborn to latch.
What if I don't have a newborn, and I just like smearing mashed potatoes on my nipples? Lol.
I worked in Hospital Administration for nearly two years. While working on something I decided to take a break and go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and not look at number. While there, a woman was on the phone with someone and was pretty openly talking about how she kept drinking the night before surgeries to calm her nerves and how she thought it was ridiculous that the doctors couldn’t/ wouldn’t just pump her stomach so they could get the surgery started. Now I don’t know all of the details on what she was getting done, nor was I there for her presumed tirade on our doctor’s as she was prepped for whatever it is she needed done, but I am grateful I wasn’t. She continued this conversation for probably a minute with her friend completely oblivious to how ridiculous she sounded.
Well, in that case, let's hope she was able to reschedule.
Load More Replies...Not to make major decisions using a magic 8 ball application on their phone. Just because it's an "algorithm" doesn't mean it knows anything about your life
To be fair, I know people for whom that system would be an improvement.
Yeah. Same here. Random decisions would be much better than some people's "logic".
Load More Replies...That her labor and delivery process wasn't over until the baby was pushed out of her. She kept asking me, in all seriousness, if she was all done when she hadn't even started pushing.
She was probably not thinking clearly and/or confused, which is understandable under the circumstances.
Not even done when the baby comes... still have to "deliver" the placenta, etc...
Ug, delivering the placenta is the worst.. You think you are all done....
Load More Replies...She's in for a tough few hours. For whatever reason she didn't know this, I feel bad for her.
What‘s an appropriate reason to dial 911 / private ambulance services. No, it’s not okay to call 911 because your boyfriend won’t take his jacket off. And no calling us directly (private ambulance) isn’t appropriate either.
Sadly, there are a number of people who will call an ambulance just because they want the attention and sympathy. I've known a few people like that.
Load More Replies...Just for clarity's sake, what would the ambulance have done? Taken him away? Given him sedatives? Given *her* happy drugs? What did she want?
What about the staggering number of people who call 911 because their fast-food order was wrong? Or that one guy who called 911 because McDonald's was out of sweet&sour sauce?
Why showering regularly is important. I am a home health Physical Therapist.
If, for medical reasons (eg mobility or depression) you can't shower or bathe regularly, at least clean all the "nooks and crannies" using a flannel or wet wipes. Can even be done whilst still in bed
Excellent advice. It's better than not doing anything. I've heard that soldiers on active duty do a lot of sponge baths. Their relatives send them Wet Wipes.
Load More Replies...This is something that mystifies me. There are so many people who don't have a shower as often as they should. Don't they feel sticky and dirty? Can't they smell? It's disgusting. Some people smell bad even early in the morning, when they have just left the house. All houses in developed countries have bathrooms and hot water. Why don't they have a shower????? Why don't they change their clothes????
"Maybe don’t force your Autistic non verbal 9 year old son to drink bleach", what the f**k?
There are some "alternative medicine" kooks who believe that drinking this product sold as "MMS" (Miracle Mineral Solution) will cure autism. They mix it with an acid, turning it into a bleach, and dilute it with water. It is awful. Here is a video about it if you're interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RApj_vuW8iE
Load More Replies...I sort of have a similar story. As a child I had trouble breathing and chest tightness, so I was diagnosed with asthma at around 11 years old. Fast forward to aged 19, when a psycholigist family friend directed me to a psychiatrist. Do you have any health issues, she asked. Just asthma, I said, not too bad, usually when I'm nervous. Honey, those are panic attacks. OH.
To be fair, stress can make you have an asthma attack. But, yeah, I've known people who thought their panic attacks were asthma. Fun fact: if you use a steroidal inhaler while you are having a panic attack, you REALLY feel like you are about to die! I'm glad you finally got to see a psychiatrist. Panic attacks suck!
Load More Replies...me too lol. too fertile for some not too great results for humanity survival.. & we're already crowding the earth & destroying everything even ourselves with our stupidity.
Load More Replies...And yet more reasons why not just anyone with fuctional genitalia should be allowed to breed.
Eugenics was tried...............and failed for a reason
Load More Replies...My ex had closed ears because of some cold. My stepfather told him to use menthol nosespray, because sometimes it helps to open up. The idiot sprayed it in his ears. Later that night he had pain in his ears. Well the doctor on the ehbo laughed when he told her.. Kids don't spray menthol nosespray in your ears.. Smh
Haha! I'm sorry, but that is funny!
Load More Replies...Every single one of these, I thought of that Nathan Fillion "But... never mind" gif.
some time ago I thought - how the fork is there enough people to get Trump to president chair... ok, I get it now 🙄
As a nurse I am amazed how naive people are about their bodies and their bodily functions.
"Maybe don’t force your Autistic non verbal 9 year old son to drink bleach", what the f**k?
There are some "alternative medicine" kooks who believe that drinking this product sold as "MMS" (Miracle Mineral Solution) will cure autism. They mix it with an acid, turning it into a bleach, and dilute it with water. It is awful. Here is a video about it if you're interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RApj_vuW8iE
Load More Replies...I sort of have a similar story. As a child I had trouble breathing and chest tightness, so I was diagnosed with asthma at around 11 years old. Fast forward to aged 19, when a psycholigist family friend directed me to a psychiatrist. Do you have any health issues, she asked. Just asthma, I said, not too bad, usually when I'm nervous. Honey, those are panic attacks. OH.
To be fair, stress can make you have an asthma attack. But, yeah, I've known people who thought their panic attacks were asthma. Fun fact: if you use a steroidal inhaler while you are having a panic attack, you REALLY feel like you are about to die! I'm glad you finally got to see a psychiatrist. Panic attacks suck!
Load More Replies...me too lol. too fertile for some not too great results for humanity survival.. & we're already crowding the earth & destroying everything even ourselves with our stupidity.
Load More Replies...And yet more reasons why not just anyone with fuctional genitalia should be allowed to breed.
Eugenics was tried...............and failed for a reason
Load More Replies...My ex had closed ears because of some cold. My stepfather told him to use menthol nosespray, because sometimes it helps to open up. The idiot sprayed it in his ears. Later that night he had pain in his ears. Well the doctor on the ehbo laughed when he told her.. Kids don't spray menthol nosespray in your ears.. Smh
Haha! I'm sorry, but that is funny!
Load More Replies...Every single one of these, I thought of that Nathan Fillion "But... never mind" gif.
some time ago I thought - how the fork is there enough people to get Trump to president chair... ok, I get it now 🙄
As a nurse I am amazed how naive people are about their bodies and their bodily functions.
