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Man Abandons Teen Son When He Finds Out He Is Not His Real Dad, Mad At Bro Who Says He Is Family
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Man Abandons Teen Son When He Finds Out He Is Not His Real Dad, Mad At Bro Who Says He Is Family

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Weddings have a magical way of turning family reunions into full-blown reality TV episodes. You show up expecting vows, a fancy cake, and some questionable dance moves from your aunt, but instead, you’re hit with more drama than an entire season of The Real Housewives. Toss in a cheating scandal and a surprise kid, and you know things are about to get spicy.

In this story, one man’s unresolved beef with his estranged son is threatening to ruin one Redditor’s wedding day. Because, you know, nothing says “I do” like a good old-fashioned family drama.

More info: Reddit

Weddings can bring families together, or tear them apart, especially when old grudges resurface

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)

One groom’s special day faces turmoil as his brother’s long-standing feud with his estranged son threatens the celebration

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Image credits: Sky Miller / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Years ago, the groom’s brother discovered his eldest son wasn’t biologically his, so he abandoned him and cut off the relationship with him

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Image credits: Craig Adderley / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The groom has always been close to his nephew, stepping in as a father figure when his dad left, so he wants him by his side on his big day

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Image credits: Regular-Dare1057

Despite the bitter history, the groom invites his nephew to the wedding, which makes his brother angry, as he insists his son isn’t “family”

Our groom-to-be, let’s just call him Mike, is a 33-year-old man, planning his winter wedding to his fiancé, “Jack”. And, like any good guncle, he wants his favorite nephew to attend. But there’s one little hiccup: said nephew is estranged from Mike’s brother, and not by some minor spat. Oh no, it’s way more intense than that.

When Mike’s brother was 18, his girlfriend announced she was pregnant. Like a responsible man, he stepped up, got a job, and became a dad. Fast forward a few years and several kids later, life seemed to be rolling along—until one day, the rug got yanked out from under him.

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The brother discovered that his eldest son wasn’t biologically his. Yep, his wife had been fooling around back in the day, and now the secret was out. Naturally, the fallout was massive. Divorce papers were filed, custody agreements were hashed out, but the biggest casualty in this breakup was the father-son relationship. Instead of working through it, the brother cut his oldest son out completely.

It gets even messier. During a particularly heated argument, where emotions were running high and pain was fresh from losing their father, the nephew, just 14 at the time, lashed out and said something that struck right at the heart of the matter: “No wonder mom fooled around with someone else. I bet grandpa hated you.” Ouch! It’s no surprise that their already fragile bond shattered like cheap wedding china.

While the brother nursed his wounds and distanced himself from his son, Mike wasn’t about to abandon his nephew like his dad did. He stepped in as the role model and mentor that his brother refused to be, becoming the main male figure in the boy’s life. He helped the nephew through his high school years, celebrated his 18th birthday, and even helped him pick a university. Talk about guncle of the year!

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But now, with his own wedding approaching, Mike faces a tough decision. Does he invite his nephew, risking the wrath of his brother? Or does he leave the kid out to avoid a family feud?  Well, he made his choice. The nephew is getting an invite, since he’s one of Mike’s favorite people in the world. But his brother? Oh, he’s fuming, and his message was loud and clear: “He’s not family.” Yikes.

Sure, getting blindsided by the news that your firstborn isn’t biologically yours is enough to send anyone spiraling. But experts agree that holding onto grudges, especially with family, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.

Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Grudges and resentment are like packing an emotional suitcase you’ll never stop carrying. It can get really exhausting. And holding onto anger is a fast way to skyrocket your stress levels, crank up the anxiety, and send your sleep schedule straight into chaos mode. Plus, all that pent-up resentment turns you into that grumpy uncle who complains at family functions—nobody wants to be that guy.

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“You might think that harboring ill-will harms the person you’re mad at, but ultimately you’re the one who suffers from it. Essentially, a grudge inhibits your ability to cope with or resolve your issue and keeps you stuck in the past,” experts explain.  In this case, forgiving and moving on is the way to go.

According to the pros, forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior or pretending nothing happened—it’s about freeing yourself from the weight of all that bitterness. In fact, learning to forgive can even help you see things through a lens of empathy, which might just heal those old wounds.

“Some people are naturally more forgiving than others. But even if you tend to hold a grudge, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you,” experts explain.

While Mike’s fiancé is totally team nephew, the rest of the family is more divided. His mom and sister think he should consider his brother’s feelings, but honestly, if we cut off everyone who said something mean as a teen, we’d all be dining solo.

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What did you think of this story? Is the poster a jerk for inviting his nephew to the wedding despite his brother’s protests? Share your thoughts in the comments.

People in the comments say the groom is not a jerk for inviting his nephew to his wedding despite his brother’s protests

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Monica Selvi

Monica Selvi

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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Monica Selvi

Monica Selvi

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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Debbie
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The child has lost his father in a horrible way. Not a disease or accident, but stone cold rejection for something the child has not had a choice in. The brother is an AH for abandoning his child like this. Yes, his child - not by blood, but for the child it IS his father. I'm glad OP stands up for his nephew.

Crouching hippo hidden panda
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also the grandmother and aunt pretty damn stone cold to side with the father and cutting him off after them being a family until he was 14. Talk about traumatic

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Sunny Day
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brother needs to understand - he might not be the father, but he's the Dad and he needs to suck it up. Nephew is OP'S family, and OP can invite whoever he wants to his wedding (partner agreeing, of course). Put nephew in the wedding; he could be a groomsman or "brides-man", and sit at the main table. Brother can sit at the Children's Table, since he's acting like one.

Jill Rhodry
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He actually could still be the father - two RH- parents can certainly have an RH+ child plus these would've been known during pregnancy because there would've been issues - dude's definitely TA for abandoning son but they really need a DNA test.

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KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a whole shitshow and OP loses either way until brother and fans realise that the kid is not the one at fault here. You don't just abandon a kid you raised as your own son or nephew because of someone else's [mistake]. Of course the kid lashed out, I can't imagine anything more awful than having a dad who checked out of being a dad because of your mother. Actually I can, I vaguely lived it but mother was the alcoholic. Anyway, I hope there is enough time before the wedding for them to come to some kind of truce for at least the day - it's OP's day, not theirs.

millac
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I found the original on Reddit and the OP says the kid has never once apologized, nor privately expressed remorse for what he said. Four years on and the kid says he still feels like what he said was justified. Kid has said he "might" say sorry if the man begged forgiveness first. With that tidbit, I think the brother is firmly in the clear. From his perspective, the kid does not want him to be his dad, and has been vile enough to not warrant extraordinary measures to remain in his life. If the uncle actually wants a truce, he should encourage this kid to reflect and apologize before the wedding, otherwise this is going to be a s**t show that costs the OP his brother, mother, and sister, all for a kid who, I suspect, will probably end up making him regret it one day, considering the kid's character and behavior.

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Debbie
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The child has lost his father in a horrible way. Not a disease or accident, but stone cold rejection for something the child has not had a choice in. The brother is an AH for abandoning his child like this. Yes, his child - not by blood, but for the child it IS his father. I'm glad OP stands up for his nephew.

Crouching hippo hidden panda
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also the grandmother and aunt pretty damn stone cold to side with the father and cutting him off after them being a family until he was 14. Talk about traumatic

Load More Replies...
Sunny Day
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brother needs to understand - he might not be the father, but he's the Dad and he needs to suck it up. Nephew is OP'S family, and OP can invite whoever he wants to his wedding (partner agreeing, of course). Put nephew in the wedding; he could be a groomsman or "brides-man", and sit at the main table. Brother can sit at the Children's Table, since he's acting like one.

Jill Rhodry
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He actually could still be the father - two RH- parents can certainly have an RH+ child plus these would've been known during pregnancy because there would've been issues - dude's definitely TA for abandoning son but they really need a DNA test.

Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a whole shitshow and OP loses either way until brother and fans realise that the kid is not the one at fault here. You don't just abandon a kid you raised as your own son or nephew because of someone else's [mistake]. Of course the kid lashed out, I can't imagine anything more awful than having a dad who checked out of being a dad because of your mother. Actually I can, I vaguely lived it but mother was the alcoholic. Anyway, I hope there is enough time before the wedding for them to come to some kind of truce for at least the day - it's OP's day, not theirs.

millac
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I found the original on Reddit and the OP says the kid has never once apologized, nor privately expressed remorse for what he said. Four years on and the kid says he still feels like what he said was justified. Kid has said he "might" say sorry if the man begged forgiveness first. With that tidbit, I think the brother is firmly in the clear. From his perspective, the kid does not want him to be his dad, and has been vile enough to not warrant extraordinary measures to remain in his life. If the uncle actually wants a truce, he should encourage this kid to reflect and apologize before the wedding, otherwise this is going to be a s**t show that costs the OP his brother, mother, and sister, all for a kid who, I suspect, will probably end up making him regret it one day, considering the kid's character and behavior.

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