Hosting people for dinner is hard work. You not only have to cook the meal but prepare the whole place, too. It needs to be clean and welcoming, with thoughtfully arranged table settings and comfortable seating. Some also set up warm lighting and create an appropriate music playlist to enhance the atmosphere.

Point is, the whole experience requires a considerable investment of time and effort. But when Reddit user Jolly-Case93 organized such an evening for her family, it took something even more — her 8-year-old nephew broke her partner’s favorite statue.

In a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘, the woman explained that she demanded her brother reimburse them for the expensive decoration, but he refused and they soon got into a bad fight.

Continue scrolling to read the story in her own words and the chat we had about kids, discipline, and family visits with Bored Panda’s parenting expert and award-winning TV broadcaster and author, Vicki Broadbent.

Kids can be a handful, leaving you with a hefty cleaning and damage bill

Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)

Something this woman, unfortunately, had to learn the hard way

Image credits: benuski / flickr (not the actual photo)

Image source: Jolly-Case93

Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum believes parents should exercise caution when considering visits to someone else’s home

Image credits: Joseph Sinclair

“I think people with young children, particularly toddlers, should perhaps decline invitations to non-child-friendly homes for both the sake of the homeowner but also, and most importantly, the sake and safety of their child,” Vicki Broadbent, who runs the acclaimed family lifestyle blog Honest Mum told Bored Panda.

“Toddlers are meant to behave recklessly, in all honesty, because they are learning about the world, and developmentally, physically, as well as mentally, they are not mature enough to conform all of the time. Their job is to explore their world, which often means crashing into things or handling things others might not approve of,” the mother of three explained, adding that if damages occur due to the behavior of your child, “you must do the right thing and pay for those damages or replace the ruined item. That is the honorable thing to do.”

According to her, if you’re worried about your child breaking things, you can try and arrange to meet friends and family in a communal space, ideally a park or somewhere child-friendly. You can also ask others to your own home instead of theirs so that you can cater to your child more easily. “Often those who are child-free or with older children would find it hard to childproof their home for you and they shouldn’t be expected to.”

The woman’s nephew caused years’ worth of damages in just one night

Image credits: Allen Taylor / unsplash (not the actual photo)

The sum that the woman mentioned in the post definitely reaffirms the boy’s “walking tornado” status.

For example, a 2013 report from the UK estimated that three-year-olds are the most destructive, causing £526 ($665) worth of damage each during those 12 months of their lives. Adjusted for inflation, that’s £703, or $889.

The report also listed the most common ways the little ones wreak havoc:

• Spilling food and drink on the carpets (63%)
• Smashing plates and crockery (35%)
• Drawing and painting on the walls (33%)
• Breaking vases, pictures, and photo frames (24%)
• Tearing wallpaper from the walls (22%)
• Jumping on beds until they break (15%)
• Breaking windows playing sports in the garden (10%)
• Damaging the TV playing computer games (9%)
• Putting food and drink in electrical objects (7%)
• Hiding valuables in the washing machine (6.6%)

According to the research, the average child caused their parents £5,000 ($6,326) of damage by the time they reached 18 (or £6,683 [$8,454] in today’s money).

However, the author of the post and her family might have a few calmer and cheaper years ahead of them, since the report also showed that after the age of 10, the levels of kids’ destruction gradually fall. (Until they reach 16, at which point the costs rise once again!)

“If your child is older, then explaining etiquette and social behavior is key, but so is understanding that they might still make mistakes because we’re all human,” Vicki Broadbent, author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada), said. “That might also mean needing to pay up if anything breaks, as that’s your responsibility to do so. You are responsible for your child and their actions under the law (depending on where you live).”

Broadbent said that parents can also consider making the child pay for the damages from their own (pocket) money, or by doing chores if they’re old enough. “This can provide them with an important lesson that actions (and mistakes) have repercussions.”

As her story went viral, the original poster (OP) provided a bit more information in the comments

Most people said that she has the right to demand the money

But some weren’t as supportive

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