
Mom Thinks Her Son Is A Dreamboat, Neighbor Thinks He’s A Shipwreck The Moment He Talks
Some people are so committed to matchmaking, you’d think they were getting commissions from Cupid himself. They don’t just drop hints – they launch full-scale romantic ambushes. Suddenly, you’re starring in a love story you didn’t audition for, complete with a handpicked “perfect match” who is anything but. These self-appointed romance gurus bulldoze through personal boundaries just to make their ship sail.
One Redditor found herself at the center of such a love crusade when her overenthusiastic neighbor became hell-bent on setting her up with her son, a man blessed with model-level looks but cursed with the intellect of a goldfish.
More info: Reddit
If meddling were a competition, some folks would be taking home the gold medal every year
Image credits: ashendigital / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman’s neighbor is determined to set her up with her very attractive, but dumb son, despite her repeatedly clarifying she is not interested
Image credits: mart production / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman gave the man a chance, had some chats with him, but quickly lost interest when he asked her what her favorite color is for the 3rd time
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“You two would be so cute together”: The man’s mom keeps pestering the woman to date her son, ambushing her every time she leaves her house
Image credits: emogirlnow
The woman is fed up with her pushy neighbor who won’t back off, wonders what her next move should be
The OP (original poster), has been “blessed” with a very nosy neighbor, “Miss Tower.” This lady made it her life’s mission to get the OP to fall for her ridiculously attractive, but intellectually challenged son. Now, let’s be clear: this man is a certified 10 in the looks department. If hotness were currency, he’d be making Jeff Bezos look broke. But his brain? Let’s just say it’s still buffering. At least that’s what the OP says.
For her, conversations with him felt like trying to load a webpage with dial-up internet. We’re talking about a guy who asked the OP what her favorite color is not once, not twice, but 3 times in two months. At this point, even a goldfish has a better memory.
The OP tried to be polite. She gave this dude a chance but, after another mind-numbing exchange, she had to shut it down and thought that would be the end of it. Oh, how wrong she was. Miss Tower, the ultimate wingwoman, or wingmom, if you prefer, just can’t let this love story die. She is convinced, convinced, I say, that the OP and her son are destined to be together.
Every time the OP steps outside, it’s another round of “You two would be so cute together!” Cute is nice, mom, but the OP needs stimulating conversation, not a guy who struggles to remember basic facts about her. Miss Tower even tried to create romantic opportunities, casually suggesting the OP go talk to her son while he fixes his car. Ma’am, unless that car is going to fix his short-term memory, it’s a hard pass for the OP.
Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So, what’s our creeped-out OP to do? Move? Change her name? Fake her own disappearance? Before resorting to witness protection, maybe setting boundaries with persistent meddlers would be a good idea. Deflect personal questions with humor, vague answers, or by changing the subject entirely.
If someone keeps pushing, turn it back on them and ask them why they’re so invested in your love life. When all else fails, embrace the art of mystery and keep them guessing. The less they know, the less material they have to work with.
The Grey Rock Method is another effective way to deal with people who just won’t quit. Generally used on toxic people (including narcissists), this strategy involves becoming as dull and unengaging as possible whenever meddlers bring up the topic you want to avoid.
Give short, neutral answers, don’t show emotion, and avoid adding details. Meddlers thrive on reactions—if they stop getting one, they’ll eventually move on to a more exciting target.
And, if that doesn’t work, there’s always the good old “fake partner” trick. Okay, this one isn’t exactly ethical, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Nothing shuts down a persistent matchmaker like the phrase, “I’m seeing someone!” At the end of the day, the OP doesn’t owe anyone an explanation for her dating preferences.
What do you think of this story? Should our poster create a fake partner just to get her neighbor off her back? Drop your thoughts and comments below!
Netizens had a field day with this story, some suggesting the woman bring home a man and make sure her neighbor sees them
Poll Question
How do you feel about the author considering faking a relationship to stop the matchmaking attempts?
It's a good strategy to get her off his back.
It’s not ethical, but might be necessary.
It won't work; Miss Tower is too determined.
There are better ways to deal with it.
She needs to be incredibly direct. "I'm not interested in your son. I will not date him. We would not be a good fit. Please stop trying to be a matchmaker."
"I'm gay" is better. And invite some female friends over. Or - "I'm bi, but currently I'm more into girls. Do you happen to have a daughter or maybe a niece?" Or - "ok, but you have to understand that I'm all into hardcore b**m. I have also a highly dominant nature. Nothing else satisfies me. Tell him to start barking like a dog and then make a s**t on your lawn. Then I'll tell him he's a bad boy and maybe even I'll ask him out".
I'm beginning to see why mummy is trying so hard to get her child out of the house. I would give him a different colour every time he asked.
OP could always go with, "My girlfriend wouldn't like me dating your son."
She needs to be incredibly direct. "I'm not interested in your son. I will not date him. We would not be a good fit. Please stop trying to be a matchmaker."
"I'm gay" is better. And invite some female friends over. Or - "I'm bi, but currently I'm more into girls. Do you happen to have a daughter or maybe a niece?" Or - "ok, but you have to understand that I'm all into hardcore b**m. I have also a highly dominant nature. Nothing else satisfies me. Tell him to start barking like a dog and then make a s**t on your lawn. Then I'll tell him he's a bad boy and maybe even I'll ask him out".
I'm beginning to see why mummy is trying so hard to get her child out of the house. I would give him a different colour every time he asked.
OP could always go with, "My girlfriend wouldn't like me dating your son."
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