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Entitled Neighbor Demands Woman Parent Her Kids 14 Hours A Day For Free, Woman Says Take A Hike
Interview With Expert
You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your neighbors. Whether you’re moving into the neighborhood, or they are, you’re pretty much stuck with each other. Depending on the situation, things can go two ways: good or bad.
For one woman, things took a turn for the worse after her neighbor, whose husband had walked out on her, flat out demanded that she watch her two kids for 14 hours a day. What’s more, her neighbor expects the woman to do it for free.
More info: Reddit
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Good fences make good neighbors, but this woman’s neighbor clearly knows nothing about boundaries
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After one screaming match too many, the neighbor’s husband walked out on her, leaving her stuck with their two kids and a 12-hour workday
Image credits: alexeyzhilkin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The neighbor told the woman she had nobody to watch her kids from 5AM to 7PM daily and bluntly asked her if she could do it
Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Taken aback, the woman asked the neighbor how much she was willing to pay, which turned out to be a fat zero
Image credits: Apprehensive-Egg4368
The woman told her neighbor in no uncertain terms that that would be out of the question, but still turned to the web for advice after her husband called her a jerk
OP begins her story by telling the community that she and her husband have lived next to Jack and Jill for two years. OP’s son is six and the neighbors’ kids are a little bit older, but they all go to the same school. She adds that, since their neighborhood is close to the school, the school bus doesn’t service it, so the kids either need to be walked or dropped off.
She goes on to say that, ever since the neighbors moved in, they’ve had constant loud fights which usually end up with Jack being kicked out and sleeping in his car until Jill leaves for work in the morning.
Well, after one fight too many, Jack left the country. Jill soon approached OP to let her know that she had nobody to watch her kids and asked her if she could drop them off in the morning and pick them up at night. This would mean leaving OP to feed them breakfast, transport them to and from school, and feed them dinner in the evening.
OP told her that she wasn’t really interested in parenting someone else’s kids but asked her how much she was willing to pay anyway. That’s when the neighbor told OP she expected her to do it for free. As if that wasn’t enough, she then asked OP if she wouldn’t mind watching her kids over the weekend too.
Flabbergasted, OP told her that there was no way that was going to happen, especially since they aren’t even friends.
OP says her husband thinks that was a jerk move, but her stance is that, if the roles were reversed, the neighbor wouldn’t do the same for them.
Image credits: Norma Mortenson / Pexels (not the actual photo)
There’s no arguing that OP’s neighbor has a massive sense of entitlement. If you’ve ever had to deal with an entitled person before, you’ll know just how frustrating it can be. So, what’s the best way to deal with someone who thinks the world owes them something? We went looking for answers.
According to WebMD, entitlement is a narcissistic personality trait.
While it’s not precisely understood how this mentality develops, it may have something to do with social factors like the environment you grew up in, the way your parents treated you, whether adults solved your problems for you, and how you are treated by authority figures.
In her article for SPSP, Emily Zitek writes that there are methods that can help you avoid reinforcing someone’s sense of entitlement.
For example, when an entitled person makes unreasonable demands of you, it may be better not to give in, since doing so could make them even more certain that their entitlement is justified. Further, take the time to explain to them why declining their request is fair, since perceptions of unfairness can stoke their sense of entitlement.
In OP’s case, she probably did the best thing by telling her neighbor no. Who knows, if she’d given in, she might have found herself caving to sleepover requests too.
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to psychologist Dr. Mari Kovanen to get her expert opinion on the matter.
When we asked her what she thought of the neighbor’s request, she had this to say, “It is one thing to ask for help in a tricky situation temporarily so that she gets something else in place, but this did not seem to be the case. OP does not seem to have a good relationship with the neighbor to start with and the request seems in this context even more unreasonable.”
We asked Dr. Kovanen for one piece of advice she’d offer the neighbor moving forward.
Kovanen responded, “The neighbor needs to focus on prioritizing the needs of the kids and resolve the situation with the husband one way or the other. She needs to acknowledge that a relationship always takes two and they need to work together to either resolve their difficulties potentially with support or decide to work out how to look after the kids in the long-term.”
The neighbour can get additional support for childcare from early morning care and after school clubs.
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think the neighbor was overstepping? Let us know your opinion in the comments.
In the comments, netizens agreed that what the neighbor is asking is completely inappropriate and that OP shouldn’t budge on her decision, no matter what her husband says
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What do you think ?
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
Once again, YTA response for not dealing nicely with an entitled psycho. There's a difference between helping in an emergency and agreeing to an ongoing free arrangement.
The Other Guest 1 month ago
It's amazing how often folks think if you just "calmly explain," then the entitled folks will immediately understand & life goes on. Of course that won't work; as someone once said, you can't reason with the unreasonable.
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Surly Scot 1 month ago
NTA and lucky escape, Jill sounds like a nightmare so much that her husband has left her. She'd have steamrolled over OP, began making demands, would start leaving the kids with OP for longer hours, and possibly get nasty when she doesn't get her way. I'd avoid this person for my own physical and legal safety.
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
Once again, YTA response for not dealing nicely with an entitled psycho. There's a difference between helping in an emergency and agreeing to an ongoing free arrangement.
The Other Guest 1 month ago
It's amazing how often folks think if you just "calmly explain," then the entitled folks will immediately understand & life goes on. Of course that won't work; as someone once said, you can't reason with the unreasonable.
Load More Replies... Surly Scot 1 month ago
NTA and lucky escape, Jill sounds like a nightmare so much that her husband has left her. She'd have steamrolled over OP, began making demands, would start leaving the kids with OP for longer hours, and possibly get nasty when she doesn't get her way. I'd avoid this person for my own physical and legal safety.
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