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“My Parents Don’t Like Me”: 35 People Share The Most Hilariously Unfortunate Names They’ve Heard
Parents should work hard at choosing a name for their child. It can impact the baby's life well into adulthood, too.
"There is a reason why baby name books are extremely popular," said David Figlio, who at the time was the Orrington Lunt Professor and Dean of the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University.
"We're always trying to think about the first bit of a child's identity and so if we as a society pay a lot of attention to names it makes a lot of sense that people's names might influence how they think about themselves and the way in which people might think about them."
But things don't always go to plan. Researchers discovered that one in seven parents admit they made a "terrible mistake" with the name they chose for their child.
In an attempt to find out what they sound like, we discovered a thread on Reddit, started by a person who goes on the platform by the nickname PlsDontBanMe. They asked everyone "What name screams 'my parents don't like me?" and got over 4,000 answers.
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#1
There was a girl in my high school named Chastity.
She didn't even know why it was ironic when she got pregnant at 16.
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#2
Met a girl called Constance Paine. Really had to wonder what her parents were thinking.
#4
Phelonie - that poor child.
#5
I know several.
Used to work in a jail and we had a regular inmate whose first and middle names, legally, were Baby Boy. Spring Green (first name, last name) also came in frequently.
My mom worked with a doctor…Doctor First…Doctor Safety First. But don’t worry, his parents didn’t just hate him - his sister was named Ladies.
#6
I had a neighbor with a little girl named Commodity. i dont think she disliked her kid, she was just really dumb.
#7
Abcde-supposedly pronounced Absidy. Some might remember that this made the news a few years back.
#8
I once met a little girl named Tilapia. I swear I’m not making this up.
#9
i knew three guys from school and their parents were a******s. parents had klan stuff up in their living room on display and everything. they gave all of their kids names that started with A, and middle names that started with S, so their full initials would be A.S.S. they thought it would be hilarious, and proudly commented on this often. needless to say i felt bad for those kids. who gives all three of their kids those initials, let alone one of them?
#10
Thurman Murman
#11
If their first name is the same as their last name.
William Williams, Michael Michaels, Daniel Daniels, Glen Glenn, John Johnson, etc.
#13
Anything ending in -aiden, using an "X" in place of "cks" (Jaxon vs Jackson), intentional misspelling of names, forcing the kid into a life of correcting the pronunciation of a name that is easy to pronounce when spelled normally, and really just anything stupid that they named a kid because it's "unique".
#15
I am the third of four boys My mother really wanted a girl and when she was pregnant with me she pinned all her hopes on me being a girl. This is before sonograms were common. When I came out a boy she named me Curt. Not Curtis or Kurt, Curt. Which means rude.
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
You have to stretch at this one being a bad name. I've known a number of Curt's over the years and none of them have ever had an issue with the name.
#16
Gunner. Not Gunnar like the Scandinavian name, or Günther like the Germanic version, but Gunner like the English word for a person who is shooting at someone.
#18
Newt Gingrich.
Imagine having a baby, looking down into its precious face, and saying deadpan to the nurse, “Newt Gingrich. Put that on the birth certificate.”
#19
Going with Chinese dialect of Hokkien here..
Someone named their child "Siew Kia" which isn't a bad name or anything in the language/dialect.. but the family name was Yao (and in Chinese names, the family name comes first)
This made the poor sod "Yao Siew Kia" which meant "baby beast" (or small animal not in a good way and is used as a derogatory term and swear word in Hokkien)
Poor guy
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
I concur, because Hokkien is my mother tongue and the literal translation for Yao Siew Kia means "Demon child" aka naughty, nasty kid.
#20
“First Name” Junior never felt right with me. Feels narcissistic to name your child the same as yourself. It’s like he’s never gonna carve his own identity he’s always gonna be known as an extension-sequel of you
Igor914624 1 year ago
I am the fifth generation with the same name. It caused confusion with creditors and such for years. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It was really funny when the Army tried to digitize all the BUPERS files while I was in. Suddenly I had stuff on my service record from the battle of Gettysburg.
#23
Any name that's written using their syllabic pronunciation. I know of a kid whose name is Kahydiynn. Like what the f**k?
#24
Used to know a kid in school named Richard Ryder (Rider?) Not sure how the last name was spelled
#26
A boy named Sue.
NetworkMan 1 year ago
Ooof Goth Demon, go digging around online for Johnny Cash, you might get the reference. 'And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him... Bill or George! Any-damn-thing but Sue! I still hate that name!'
#28
When the firstname/lastname combination does not work for a name.
Prime example-- North West (Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's daughter). She's either named after a direction on a map or a defunct airline (as if Kimye would fly commercial).
#30
Mine. My first name has an "r" in it. Both of my patents needed speech therapy to say that letter. I COULDN'T SAY MY OWN F*****G NAME UNTIL F*****G HIGH SCHOOL!!! There's a reason I use my middle name. I genuinely think it was spite because I was an oopsie baby. Bullied relentlessly for years, including by my first ex and a famous comedian's nephew.
#31
Any name that is an alternative spelling or fake-Gaelic name.
Like “Jaxon” or “Graclyn.”
Kobe (she) 1 year ago
As long as it is not Jhackxsonn or Ghraeclynn , I don't have a big problem with that. Names and spelling evolve naturally. Image we would still spell our names like they did 500 or even 200 years ago...
#32
Last name was Hunt, and they still named him Michael. The poor kid.
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
This sounds more like a Simpson's joke than something that really happened.
#33
My aunt swears that at the hospital a woman named her child A*****e pronounced A-sho-lee
#34
Any name intentionally given by parents that's a character from entertainment. Your kid is not a pet, car, boat, or bong.
Tracy Wallick 1 year ago
Very much depends on the name. That AITA a couple weeks ago about someone whose sister/SIL wanted to name their kid Luffy? Definitely not. People who named their kid Harry, Ron or Hermione after the Harry Potter books/movies? Not nearly as bad.
#35
A first name that rhymes with your last name.
What do you think ?
Trillian 1 year ago
When I think of all the time I spent choosing names for my kids: names that were not too popular but not extremely rare (because often rare names are rare for a reason, namely they are ugly), easy to spell, sounding good with their last name, not make stupid/offensive initials, and some parents are just: Eff that.
Kim 1 year ago
Right. The endless ”can my get get bullies for this name” seem to just be a challange to some parents
Load More Replies...
TOM HOLLAND 1 year ago
I go to school with a girl named Treasure. That's a fine name. But the girls last name. Is hunt. Her name is Treasure Hunt. And she always gets called to the office.
Louplou 1 year ago
Birth announcement in local paper was Holly Caust, I actually posted on fb at the time I was so flabbergasted!
Trillian 1 year ago
When I think of all the time I spent choosing names for my kids: names that were not too popular but not extremely rare (because often rare names are rare for a reason, namely they are ugly), easy to spell, sounding good with their last name, not make stupid/offensive initials, and some parents are just: Eff that.
Kim 1 year ago
Right. The endless ”can my get get bullies for this name” seem to just be a challange to some parents
Load More Replies... TOM HOLLAND 1 year ago
I go to school with a girl named Treasure. That's a fine name. But the girls last name. Is hunt. Her name is Treasure Hunt. And she always gets called to the office.
Louplou 1 year ago
Birth announcement in local paper was Holly Caust, I actually posted on fb at the time I was so flabbergasted!
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