Husband Refuses To Name Son ‘John Doe’ Thinking About The Problems He’ll Face, Upsets Wife
Interview With ExpertEveryone wants their baby to have a unique name and stand out from the crowd. Names have the power to shape how other people see us and how we view ourselves. So it makes sense that parents would want to pick something really great.
Some people go too far with the freedom they have to decide what their baby will be called. These starry-eyed folks get lost in creativity and forget that the poor kid has to go their whole life with that name. This mom-to-be also fell into that trap, and it caused a big fight with her husband.
More info: Reddit
Pregnant woman wants to honor her grandfather who passed away, by naming the baby “John”, horrified husband puts his foot down because his surname is “Doe”
The husband’s last name is “Doe” and he was often teased about it growing up, with people making jokes or puns
Image credits: Steshka Willems (not the actual photo)
His pregnant wife wanted to name their baby John after her deceased grandfather but the husband vetoed it immediately as he felt it would lead to many issues for the kid
Image credits: u/the_doeberman
The poster felt that nobody would believe his son if he said his name was “John Doe” and that it would even cause issues when he applied for jobs
There’s no denying that there has been a big culture shift in the last 50 years, and people are slowly moving towards giving their kids more unique names. Parents get creative with either the spelling of the words or create a hybrid version from terms they like. In this particular case, the pregnant woman wasn’t planning on giving her son an odd first name. She just wanted to honor her deceased grandfather, John.
Unfortunately, that simple name, when combined with the baby’s surname, would leave him with the title of “John Doe.” These two words are extremely well known because they’re used as a placeholder for pretty much any anonymous man. When governments want to withhold someone’s name, courts want to refer to a hypothetical person, or police are talking about an unidentified victim, John Doe is the name they use.
The poster explained that his surname was often joked about when he was younger. Although he didn’t have much of an issue with people making fun of him, he was worried about the effect that such a name and surname could have on his son. He mentioned that it might affect his job prospects and that nobody would believe that was the kid’s real name.
His concerns aren’t unfounded because studies have found that common and less unique names are preferred during the hiring process. Unusual names connote less desirable characteristics and are less likely to be hired. So, it seems like the dad’s concerns were justified when he said that people would have an intense reaction to the kid’s moniker.
Bored Panda reached out to Jennifer Moss, the founder and CEO of BabyNames.com. She’s also an author and co-host of The Baby Names Podcast. She has helped hundreds of thousands of parents choose the perfect names for their babies. With her background in data mining and information technology, Jennifer uses her expertise to calculate the most popular names of the year and determine which baby names are currently trending.
We asked her how people usually react to unusual baby names and whether it’s right for parents to give them such monikers. She said, “I think most people either laugh or cringe. Is this really something you want to put your child through? The most important thing is to view the name from the perspective of the child. Will it be a burden or an advantage? Try our ‘Coffee Shop’ test. Go to the coffee shop and give that name as your name. Try it on. How do you feel when it’s your name?”
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Hidden and unconscious biases related to people’s names can cause problems in their personal and professional lives. For example, a study found that people with names that are easier to pronounce are viewed as more trustworthy, and the reverse is true as well. It’s shocking to imagine that a name can hold so much power, but that’s also why they’re so important.
As Quartz stated, “It’s understandable that parents get nervous about picking a name: Our names send a signal to the world about who we are.” That’s why folks need to really think about the full name they’re bequeathing on their kids and how other people may react to it. The child is, after all, going to have to deal with it for the rest of their lives.
Jennifer explained the possible effect that a very unusual name could have on a child’s life. She said: “One really important thing to consider is that if you give your child a super-unique name, they will be easily found on the internet (well, maybe not if it’s John Doe). But if it’s a name you created or a hyper-unique spelling, they will always be found in a search. Online detectives love unique names because it narrows down the search pool.”
“Again, it all depends on the person who is going to have to live with the name. Write down a list of pros and cons. Ask an 8 year old what they think of the name, and you’ll know how kids will react to it. Think long and hard if you’re doing it for your child or for you,” she added.
The poster’s wife felt that he was a jerk for making such a fuss about their baby’s name and that he was exaggerating the issue. But a British study of 3,000 parents found that 1 in 5 of them regretted the unusual name they picked for the child. Around 15% said that their kid’s first name has been the cause of amusement among their friends and family.
Parents have a lot of responsibility to name their children well. This post shows that even if a kid’s first name is great, their surname might cause problems. That’s why if one partner vetoes the decision, maybe it’s time to move on to the next idea without question.
What do you think about the name “John Doe”? Do you have any creative alternative suggestions for the kid’s name?
Netizens offered sensible suggestions, saying that the family should switch to the wife’s maiden name, which would solve the problem of the kid being called John Doe
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
Poll Question
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I used to live down the street from a John Smith. He didn't think it was funny at all.
Uncle John, to me, 'John Smith' is a ubiquitous name, it's everywhere, but it's real. However, 'John Doe' was used in legal documents in England, as far back as the 1340s. 'John Doe' is a place holder, not a real name, where as 'John Smith' is real. I'm sure there are people called 'John Doe', but it still feels fictional.
Load More Replies...I used to live down the street from a John Smith. He didn't think it was funny at all.
Uncle John, to me, 'John Smith' is a ubiquitous name, it's everywhere, but it's real. However, 'John Doe' was used in legal documents in England, as far back as the 1340s. 'John Doe' is a place holder, not a real name, where as 'John Smith' is real. I'm sure there are people called 'John Doe', but it still feels fictional.
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