Attitudes towards marriage and divorce are changing, but it seems like most people agree that the ideal is still to form an enduring, long-term relationship with someone built on love and trust. For one woman, however, all of that was taken away from her recently in a story of shocking betrayal by her husband of 25 years.

We can only hope that baring all to strangers online brings her some sort of emotional catharsis, as we can only imagine how painful such a betrayal must have been. It’s also worth reading the comments posted in response, which offer both emotional support and useful advice.

The longer we’ve known and loved someone before, the more completely their betrayal can knock us off our feet

Image credits: amenic181 (not the actual photo)

One woman’s story showed the raw pain that can be caused by a betrayal of a family built on a 25-year marriage

Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)

Because of the support she received from her initial post, the woman shared some follow-up information as well

Image credits: kitzstocker (not the actual photo)

In a later update, she claimed to have started divorce proceedings as well

Image source: Particular_Figure123

But how could this even happen?

Beyond the pain of betrayal, the betrayal of living a double life is also a confusing proposition. Why do they do it? How could they be so heartless? And, in a more practical sense, how did they even manage to pull it off at all?

First of all, infidelity of the shocking sort that we saw in this woman’s story isn’t the only type of double life that people like to live. As steptohealth.com correctly points out, double lives can also involve gambling, addiction, or other behaviors that are totally out of line with the individual’s public persona.

Their article also helps answer the question of “why.” Many people have had moments of infidelity, but not everyone spirals into a double life. People with double lives have problems with executive emotional decision-making, and rather than making a tough but necessary choice, they feel unable to control what’s happening and wind up avoiding any difficult emotional choice by going to extraordinary lengths to cover up their duplicity. This eventually leads to a growing coldness and sense of disassociation from the emotional realities of their lives.

Commenters under her post were nearly all supportive, offering both emotional outreach and all sorts of advice

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